How and what to talk about with a girl if shyness gets in the way

Do you really need to study in order to talk to young ladies? Unfortunately, the answer is yes. I can conclude that you have some difficulties in this matter, otherwise why would you read this long and useful article?

Let me reassure you right away - if you are looking for information on what to talk about with a girl, then you have already taken the first step towards success with women. After all, recognizing a problem is the first step towards solving it.

All people have basic knowledge of communication. But what our parents and teachers taught us is not enough to understand what to talk about with a girl and how not to embarrass ourselves in the process.

BASIC TEST

There is a small test that will help you understand whether you have a sufficient level of knowledge on this topic.

So, answer the following questions truthfully:

1. Do you know what topics to raise when talking to a stranger?
2. How to behave when communicating with a young lady in order to interest her?
3. How to curb your fear and anxiety?
4. Do you know when it is better not to pester a woman with conversations, so as not to receive a refusal and a slap in the face?

If you couldn’t find the answer to at least one question in your head, then I strongly recommend that you get comfortable and read to the end.

After studying comments from forums and opinion poll data, I came to the conclusion that an impressive number of men approach strangers without preparation. In their opinion, topics for conversation between a guy and a girl should be spontaneous.

Well, there is some truth to this theory. Yes, you don’t need to think long about the topic of the conversation. You need to react quickly, but the choice of topic should be based on the results of observing the girl and the environment.

Of course, there are “lucky” people who let the conversation take its course and get a positive result. But this is the exception rather than the rule. The risk of being rejected with this approach is very high.

Clever words for communication that touch girls

If you want to impress a girl, “touch her soul,” and burn it into her memory, then it won’t hurt you to turn to the works of the classics. Perhaps from this side the interlocutor does not expect to recognize you at all. Pick up a few quotes that you can skillfully use in conversation. Just don’t need to quote statuses, which are abundant in various groups on VK - if they caught your eye, then, most likely, the girl has already read them. Just search on the Internet for “quotes about love”, “quotes about relationships”, “quotes about friendship” and so on. Think about what you will probably talk about with the girl and make appropriate preparations. To avoid getting confused yourself, choose small but effective sayings.

What might this look like? For example: “You know, even though Brodsky said, home is a place where they don’t ask you unnecessary questions,” but with us everything is often completely different.” This can be said with a smile and then followed by some story on this topic. In general, think in advance about phrases with which you can effectively “show off.”

WHAT IS IT FOR

Correctly selected topics of conversation with a girl on the first date should perform the following functions:

1. They help you get closer to a stranger.
2. Reveal her personal characteristics.
3. They help continue the conversation in a more private place.
4. They give a reason for the next date.
5. They characterize you from the best side. But you don’t need to talk only about yourself, your loved one. There should be a minimum number of such topics. It is better to talk about your merits fleetingly and not focus on them. Believe me, the young lady will catch this hint and will not consider you a narcissistic egoist.

If the chosen topics for conversation with a girl on a date do not correspond to any of the above points, urgently move the conversation in a different direction. Otherwise, you risk breaking the connection that may have already arisen between you.

Greeted by clothes

And even though all the girls in the world unanimously continue to say that in men they value, first of all, intelligence and charisma, practice shows the opposite. You can be a very well-read and erudite young man, but your dirty shoes will not allow you to even start a dialogue with a passing beauty. Therefore, first of all, you need to take care of your appearance.

Shoes and clothes should not be the work of fashionable French couturiers. But they must be whole and clean. The same goes for hair and beard. The latter, by the way, occupies a leading position in the list of female weaknesses. Therefore, if you are the lucky owner of thick facial hair, make sure your beard is in perfect condition before approaching a girl.

Don't forget about fresh breath. Otherwise, your conversation will end after the first phrase. Agree, bad breath can ruin all your efforts.

And don't forget, there won't be a second chance to make a first impression! Therefore, we put aside our complexes and start a conversation with the lovely lady.

HOW TO CHOOSE A TOPIC FOR CONVERSATION

The choice of topic should be interesting not only for the interlocutor, but also useful for you.

What conversation topics with a girl should do for you:

1. Help you understand the potential of a relationship with the chosen young lady in the future.
2. Reveal your best side.
3. Have the appropriate emotional coloring for better perception by the young lady, which will help her fall in love with you without much effort.
4. Must be focused on the companion in order to better meet a potential girl.

So, let's look at the first topics for conversation with a girl that will help you get closer.

ESTABLISHING COMMUNICATIONS

It’s best to have these conversations early. These topics are the basis and foundation of future relationships.

YOUR EXPERIENCE

The years and events we have lived through make us who we are. Only very often we forget about these important points. If you pull out pleasant memories from her depths, the young lady will again experience those feelings and associate them with you.

The next step will be your story about your experience, but you cannot completely pull the blanket over yourself. The girl should be the center of your meeting.

questions will help bring the young lady into this type of conversation :

1. Have you been to any interesting cities or countries?
2. Have any interesting stories happened to you?
3. How did it happen that you went to this country?

While developing the conversation, you can immerse yourself in its history using the following auxiliary questions:

1. And what did you feel/think at that moment?
2. Were your expectations about this city confirmed?
3. What do you think absolutely needs to be done in this country?
4. Dreams.

An ideal topic for getting to know a young lady better. Nothing characterizes a person more than what he dreams about. Find out what your chosen one wants.

The knowledge gained will also help you in choosing a gift or a romantic date.

What questions will be useful in this topic:

1. What do you want to achieve?
2. Is there something you would like to do, but haven’t decided to do until now?
3. What did you want to become as a child?
4. What's first on your bucket list?

Additional questions to develop the conversation:

1. What's stopping you from doing this?
2. How did it happen that you are here now, and not where you dream of being?
3. How do you feel when you do this?

If a girl talks a lot on the first date about her dreams or plans, do not stop her under any circumstances. This way you can understand how self-confident she is, what ambitions she has, as well as her interests.

Without this knowledge, it is impossible to get close to the young lady to the fullest. Be sure to try to increase her confidence on the path to her dream. Perhaps you can help her with this. Put it in the girl’s head that she can do anything, especially if she has a man like you next to her.

HER HOBBY

Every person has hobbies that are his passion. Even lying on the couch can be considered a hobby if you like it. When choosing a young lady for a long-term relationship, it is advisable that your hobbies intersect. This will help you spend more time together and relax your soul with each other. Many people dream of such a connection. Therefore, you need to start these conversations in time on a date with a girl in order to determine the points of contact between your passions.

questions will help you with this :

1. What do you like to do?
2. What are your hobbies?
3. What do you do in your free time?

Additional questions to deepen the conversation:

1. What exactly do you like about this business?
2. How do you feel when you succeed?
3. How did you realize that you wanted to do this?

Learn to listen “between the lines” to what your companion says. For example, if she is interested in yoga, this means that the young lady is constantly working to improve her physical and spiritual shape.

Such “tips” will help you create a complete portrait of the girl. You will recognize her characteristics, even those that she will not say directly. A useful skill, right?

WHERE IS SHE FROM

Surprisingly, information about where the young lady lives also says a lot about her.

If you don’t know what to talk about with a girl, then a conversation about your companion’s hometown will be a win-win.

Let's say she's from a small town or village. This suggests that the young lady has little experience in relationships and is most likely open to something new in this regard.

Residents of megacities will take control of the situation upon themselves. You will have to measure yourself against such people with you know what. If you find yourself weaker, she will take control over you and it will be very difficult to change anything.

Questions that are needed to start a conversation on this topic:

1. Where did you grow up?
2. Where you're from?
3. Are you local?

Additional questions:

1. How did you live there?
2. Why did you decide to move?
3. Have you always wanted to move to a bigger city?
4. Have you decided to move to a big city forever or would you still like to live in a city similar to yours?

This way you can learn a little about where she would like to live in the future. If she dreams of settling in the countryside, and you cannot live without the delights of the metropolis, then you should think about the potential of your relationship. You must be prepared for such a turn of events. It would be a shame if this information came out before the wedding. Then conflict, and possibly separation, cannot be avoided.

TRIPS

This example was given in the section on experience, but these topics for conversation with a girl require detailed study.

Each of us dreams of visiting somewhere. Abroad attracts everyone. Some are looking for cultural countries, some for places washed by seas and oceans, while others go for thrills and challenges. What exactly your companion prefers is up to you to find out.

This topic is universal, since you will definitely find common ground with your chosen one here. Perhaps she wants to visit a country where you have visited.

Tell interesting facts and stories that happened on the trip. Be sure that she will be happy to listen to you.

It is also possible that you want to visit the same country. Then you can discuss why this place interests you.

Questions that may be needed to raise this topic:

1. Where would you like to visit and why?
2. What kind of holiday do you like?
3. Do you like cultural holidays or beach holidays?

Additional questions:

1. Why this country?
2. What would be the first thing you would do when you got there?
3. What places should you definitely visit?
4. Favorite hobby.

Any topics for conversation with a girl should be pleasant to her and evoke positive emotions.

Then these feelings will be associated with you. This is what we need.

To find out what to talk about in order to achieve this result, you need to ask her the following questions :

1. What do you like to do?
2. What do you do in your free time?
3. What will you never stop doing in your life?

Additional questions that will be useful to delve deeper into the topic:

1. Why do you like doing this?
2. What do these classes give you?
3. Do you see the benefits of this activity?

The knowledge gained will help you plan your time together. For example, she loves to play sports. Why not organize joint training?

Make the most of her stories. Any little thing can be a reason for the next date or regular meetings together doing something you love.

JOB

Work is who your companion is during this period of her life.

If she is a lawyer, then it is impossible to argue with such a young lady. Her conversations will be balanced and thoughtful. Such a person will be able to stand up for herself.

If she is a kindergarten teacher, then the girl loves children, has nerves of steel and knows how to control her emotions. You can’t really hysterical in front of children, and the little one knows how to make even the most balanced adults go crazy.

Whatever you say, work brings many changes into our lives, both physical and psychological.

Be sure to pay attention to this and draw up a professional portrait of the young lady.

It would be inappropriate to make barbs about your woman’s type of activity. It is better to refrain from making any conclusions on this matter.

Here are a few questions that will be appropriate in this conversation:

1. Where do you work?
2. What do you do at work?

You can also draw some conclusions based on behavior and previous information:

1. Judging by your stories, you must have a very interesting job...
2. Your profession is probably related to creative activity?

Additional questions:

1. Why this particular job?
2. Do you like working here or would you like to change something?
3. Do you plan to continue doing this in the future?

MOTIVATION

The main mistake guys make is that they only go through topics to talk to a girl, but do not go deeper into them. It is much more important to understand why the young lady does what she does.

It is these deepenings that help men move from ordinary conversation to a more personal and emotional dialogue. And this is the first step to sympathy and relationships.

Since guys often ask general questions of the same type, young ladies already have prepared answers to them. They won't even think about them and therefore won't remember the man. But if you dig deeper and make her think about the question a little, you will automatically attract her attention.

What can you ask:

1. Why did you decide to move here?
2. Why did you decide to be...?

Additionally you can ask:

1. Why do you want to achieve this?
2. What excites you about this matter?

With the help of these answers, you will see the very essence of your chosen one and her true motivation for certain actions. Even her friends may not know about this, which automatically makes you special and attentive.

FRIENDS

It is not always possible to choose topics for conversation with a girl successfully. You can talk about family and awaken unpleasant memories in the young lady.

Therefore, I advise you to start with equally important people in her life, namely friends.

Where to begin:

1. Who do you usually relax and hang out with in this city?
2. Who are your friends, maybe I know them?

Additional questions to develop the topic:

1. How did you meet them?
2. Where do you usually spend your time?

Listen carefully to all her friends and try to understand whose opinions she listens to. This way you will know who exactly needs to be liked in order to get good advertising.

CHILDHOOD AND SCHOOL YEARS

This information will help you avoid jail time for molesting minors. If the age of the chosen one is unknown, you can use a cunning trick and ask her leading questions :

1. What school did you go to?
2. Do you communicate with your classmates?
3. Are you currently studying somewhere or are you already working?

To develop the topic, you can use additional questions:

1. Did you like the school you went to?
2. Why did you choose this university?

Perhaps you will be lucky and it turns out that you graduated from the same school or studied at the same university in similar specialties. Similarities like these make a woman trust you.

I don’t know how to talk to girls at all, what should I do?

Pickup trainings. Many people believe that at such trainings they first of all teach how to “tempt a girl for sex.” In fact, this is not at all paramount. You will not achieve any intimacy if you do not learn to communicate with the opposite sex. That is why it is more correct to say that, first of all, at such trainings they teach the art of communicating with girls. Of course, then you can use the acquired skills as you please.

If you are unable to attend such trainings in person, then you may be interested in online courses - you will most likely easily find the ones you need on the Internet, guided by the reviews you like. You can also check out some free tips that pickup gurus share in various videos.

It is possible that you have a friend who can easily start a conversation with almost any girl and interest her. Observe him from the outside, draw conclusions for yourself. If we are talking about a close friend, then frankly ask him to point out your mistakes and give some recommendations.

KEEP IN CONTACT

Topics for conversation with a girl presented below are best used after preliminary acquaintance. When you already have an idea about each other, you can move to the next level of communication to maintain the already established connection.

Typically, such conversations occur in the middle of a date and continue until the end. The only downside of inexperienced men is that they use these topics incorrectly, which reduces the significance of these conversations.

If you follow the tips below, you can learn not only what to talk about with a girl, but also how to conduct these conversations correctly, so that you have a reason to visit the young lady.

These topics do not need additional questions, as they are easy and fun .

ANIMALS

If any of you have tailed pets, it's time for them to finish off their food. Pets are exactly what you can talk about with a girl for hours. If she has a cat or dog, it means she likes to tell funny stories from their lives. Perhaps you have a pet that the young lady would like to see. But such information needs to be obtained correctly, using appropriate questions , such as:

1. Do you have pets?
2. Would you like to have any animals at home?
3. Mention unobtrusively in a conversation - “Yesterday I was walking my dog ​​and saw...”. Usually, the woman herself brings up this topic if the guy casually talks about having a pet.
4. Who do you love more: cats or dogs?

Getting to know a pet about which there has been so much interesting talk is a sacred thing. You can also smoothly move the date to walking the dog in the park. If you don’t know what to talk about with a girl on a walk, then use the help of your pet, who will certainly fill in all the gaps in the conversation with his playful behavior.

FAVORITE FOOD

Another good topic for a first date. Surely there are dishes that she likes the most. Having learned about them, you can prepare what she likes for the next date at your home. Firstly, she will appreciate your culinary efforts and understand that you are attentive to her, since you remember her preferences. After this, the girls are very grateful.

If you don't know how to cook, you can order food in a restaurant, that will also be good. But another winning option is to cook a dish together. Ask her to teach you how to cook her favorite food. At this time, you can open a bottle of wine and take short breaks between cooking stages.

This is also a small test of the young lady’s thriftiness, which is also important for building future relationships.

But first you need to find out what your chosen one likes to eat. questions will help you with this :

1. What is your favorite food?
2. What do you usually order for dessert?
3. I always wanted to learn how to cook something normal, because this bachelor food can end up in the hospital, by the way, what dish do you like to make at home?

UNUSUAL SKILLS

Almost each of us has some kind of hidden talent that not everyone knows about. But if you know what to talk about on a date with a girl, you can become one of the few who knows everything about her. This brings us very close. Especially if you also have some secret skill.

During childhood, parents often send their children to various clubs and extracurricular activities. Of course, the little one doesn’t always visit these places willingly, but he learns the skills. Thanks to our parents, almost everyone has different skills from childhood that stay with us forever. You just need to “dig” correctly in the right place in your memories and find out something personal and new about the young lady.

The following questions :

1. Do you have a hidden talent or skill?
2. Did you take any classes as a child?
3. Mention in conversation - “I remember when I was a child, my parents sent me to a sewing class. Yes, I agree, it’s not a man’s business, but it was very useful in bachelor life. What hidden talents do you have?

FAVORITE MUSIC

What do girls like to talk about with guys? Yes about everything they like. A great topic for a pleasant conversation is her preferences in music.

Usually the young lady is so carried away by the conversation that she forgets about the date. At this moment, it’s time to take out your “trump card” and try to invite her home.

For example, she really likes the work of a certain group. And then your response: “Hmm, I’ve never heard of that one. And what, they create really cool songs? Well, now you simply have to introduce me to the work of these guys. Let's go to a quieter, more peaceful place where we can listen to their music?

Useful questions :

1. What kind of music do you listen to?
2. Have you been to the concert of your favorite artist?
3. What music do you like to dance to?
4. There are so many new artists now that you don’t have time to remember their names. By the way, what kind of music do you listen to? Perhaps our preferences coincide.

If you don’t know what to talk about with the girl you like, then always bring up the musical topic. Use the acquired knowledge to maximum benefit. You can take her on your next date to a restaurant where her favorite music is playing or buy tickets to a concert. It will also be very romantic to listen to music together by candlelight with a glass of wine.

MEN

Of course, this is not a topic with which you should connect your first acquaintance with a girl, which can be awkward to talk about with a guy you don’t know well, but correctly posed questions will be very useful for you.

For example , you can use:

1. What is important for you to see in your man?
2. Who do you think is the ideal guy?
3. What qualities should your man have?
4. Why do you think normal men lose to rude guys who abuse their women?
5. And what do you find sexy in a guy ?

These questions will help you avoid the world-dreaded “friend zone” . And you will also be able to understand what your chosen one values ​​in men.

DANCING

It's time to find out what to talk about with a girl on a date in order to understand her skills in sex. Yes, this is possible without even using the “s” word, which so often scares strangers.

As you know, rhythm is important in bed. Where can you check it? Of course, on the dance floor. The most charming thing is that you don’t talk directly about sex, but you get answers to your questions.

What to ask a young lady:

1. Do you like to dance?
2. What kind of dances do you like?
3. Oh, I always dreamed of learning to dance salsa. Can you help me with this?

ADVENTURES

Well, who doesn't love adventure? Even the word itself awakens in us a sense of adventurism and memories of past exploits.

Suppose you invited a girl for a walk, you don’t know what to talk about, but you really want to lure her to your home. And it is possible. When you raise the topic of adventure, the young lady begins to feel adventurous, fearless, and ready for new exploits again. Often, on this wave of emotions, women decide to go home to a man. They regard it as one of their adventures.

The main thing here is to ask questions correctly and not to rush with the invitation, so as not to scare off the “prey”.

Useful questions:

1. You seem to be an adventurous and fearless person, am I wrong?
2. Have you had an adventure that you will never forget?
3. Do you love adventure?
4. What would you like to do on your dream adventure?

The main thing is to ask the desired question in time at her emotional peak: “Let’s leave here now and try to organize our own adventure?” The girl herself will tell you where exactly to go. Just ask what she would like at this moment. Under the influence of adrenaline, she won’t even notice how she ends up in your bed.

Replace questions with statements

“What is this, an interview?” or “Have you decided to interrogate me?”

Have you ever heard a girl say this during a conversation? Unfortunately, I had to say this to my interlocutor.

It’s clear that when you’re really interested in a girl and you want to know more about her life, you ask a lot of questions. But then, no wonder she starts to feel like she's being interrogated!

Try this instead:

- Every now and then, respond with a statement rather than a question -

I'll show you an easy trick. We all know how to ask yes/no questions (also known as the slow conversation death technique):

"Did you like it?"

“Have you seen this movie?”

Just change these questions to statements by making an educated guess:

“Looks like you liked it!”

"I think you've seen this movie"

This way you can avoid the interview atmosphere. Not so difficult, right?

What's amazing is that you will make the girl feel understood and she will be under the impression that you communicate so well!

And yes, don't worry about making the wrong assumption. The girl will simply correct you and the conversation will move on without complications.

ENDING THE CONVERSATION RIGHT

Any conversation, meeting or date must be ended correctly. This is a decisive factor in further communication and development of relationships.

But also, the information received will be very useful when making a new meeting or continuing a date in a more intimate setting.

You need to understand what to talk about with a girl when you meet, but no less attention should be paid to completing the conversation.

So, how to set her up for further pastime?

DO NOT MAKE FAST CONCLUSIONS

Don't make hasty conclusions about her time and availability. If you invite a young lady to your place without even asking if she has time for this, then refusal is guaranteed.

Even if she is free, due to her inattention and indifference, you will have to look for a new companion.

Perhaps the girl needs to get up early and this will be the main reason for the meeting to end quickly. But you don’t know this, you don’t ask and you prolong the evening. As a result, you won’t see this chosen one in bed.

Having the necessary information, you can shorten the meeting and proceed to the final stage, followed by continuation at your home.

What questions to use to determine a woman’s workload level:

1. What are you doing tonight?
2. Are you working tomorrow?
3. Do you like to sleep long hours or get up early?

DOUBT

Feeling attracted to a creature of the opposite sex because you have not yet seen him without clothes is a natural impulse of the male soul, written in the genes. This algorithm can lead to an uncontrolled increase in affairs, affairs and debilitating relationships that sooner or later will plunge your life into ruins. Having met another woman, beautiful in her newness, ask yourself: what, besides her diversity, attracted you so much to her? This rule will protect you from the paradox of bad infinity, the risk of STDs and exorbitant alimony payments.