How to apologize to a friend: methods and advice from psychologists

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You and I quarreled over a trifle, We said stupid things to each other in vain, I ask you for an apology, friend, And I hold absolutely no grudge against you. We are always a mountain for each other, And I call our quarrel a real misfortune, Let's make peace with you forever, And we will never quarrel.

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My most faithful, best friend, I ask you to forgive me for everything. Scatter your sorrows and grievances to the wind, let them go.

I don’t wish you harm, I’m always rooting for you. You are a sympathetic and kind friend, I am proud of you as a brother.

You have become a dear person to me, I want to be friends with you all my life. Forgive me for everything I was wrong about, Let's continue to live peacefully!

***

My friend, don’t be angry, understand me, Life can be very stormy at times, It easily manipulates people, And makes us do stupid things.

And I, entangled in the web of fate, inflicted a serious offense on you. Please hear my prayers now, Because I value our friendship very much.

I know our friendship is stronger than quarrels! It may be difficult to let go of a grudge, But living without friendship is a death sentence. Please, be able to forgive me.

***

Don't hold grudges, my friend. There's no use for her: You can't see the white light, There's no appetite at lunchtime.

Your complexion suffers greatly, your mood is at zero, you are preoccupied with a vendetta, you are lost in a sad darkness.

Everyone, forget our discord, let go of the bitterness in your heart. Let there be no place for falsehood. Friend, forgive me for everything.

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Forgive me, please, I beg. I feel guilty that this happened. I'm ashamed. I apologize for the fact that everything turned out so stupid.

I still admit my mistakes. Let's make peace, I feel bad without you. My friend, forgive me! I'm sorry! I won't do this again!

***

Life is full of unexpected events, Only you have always been faithful to me. Our friendship was inseparable. I ruined it through my own fault.

I don’t know if you will forget the rudeness that I uttered out of despair. It was not out of malice, but only out of stupidity, that I dealt this blow to our friendship.

***

My friend, I’m writing poetry for you, I ask you to forgive me from the bottom of my heart. Spare me from this shame, After all, our quarrels are muddy lakes.

They are like the threads of a spider's web, Like the dark trace of a bad painting. Forgive me, I value you, And I ask for forgiveness.

***

My friend, please forgive me, I should have done this. I will never do this again, I want to be friends with you as before and always. Forgive me, my friend, forgive me, I’m the only one screaming all day today. I think only about you all the time, Please believe me today. And I will never do that again, because I love my childhood friend.

***

How often do we not notice that we offend someone, hurt someone, then pour salt on the wounds. I’m ashamed to admit that among people I am not without sin, because you suffer because of me, you worry because of insults. I regret everything. I ask you one thing: Please forgive me, Let go of your grievances!

***

You and I did not see eye to eye, And opinions diverged on different sides, And a quarrel suddenly came like thunder, But before, everything was decided amicably by the two of us.

Apparently a black cat ran between us, And my soul became so sad, After all, a quarrel is not worth a damn, Forgive me for everything, my friend.

About guilt

It’s worth saying right away that many people, at the moment of apology, are driven by a feeling of guilt. I want to justify myself to my friend for my wrongdoings, to change what I did. Of course, there is nothing wrong with such an impulse. Moreover, psychologists say that people who have a special tendency to awaken feelings of guilt turn out to be kinder and more loyal in life.

However, the guilty person must repent sincerely, while realizing what exactly his mistake was. If this does not happen, the friend will definitely sense the catch and the long-awaited reconciliation will not take place.

Poems of forgiveness from friends

Friends betrayed, the woman left, The cold of the dog rubs at the threshold. Saving droplets of warmth Again the word and the road give.

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I will open the damp door wide open, Stepping into the night mysteriously and quietly - Do not remember the dashing, - I say, - I have been given a lot of dashing today. 1981

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Forgiveness cannot be begged with a tear, And the passing day will still melt, And, Shot by a summer large-drop thunderstorm, the firmament does not die.

***

We don’t have time to regret anything: We are all great and insignificant. And, knowing the path that, having chosen, we go, the World seems broken and tired.

What do you need to apologize for?

Also, an extremely important question concerns the reason that prompted a person to take this step. Which of them are peremptory and always entail an apology?

Serious betrayal of any nature.
You should apologize if the offender seriously hurt your friend with a word or deed.
Also, words of guilt would be appropriate if, due to the actions of the offender, the property or financial situation of a friend was damaged.
Apologies are always made after fights.
It is also necessary to apologize if the offender let a friend down.

Anyone can mess up or offend, but only a morally strong person can apologize for it, and even sincerely. Next, we will look at the most effective ways to admit your own guilt.

Black Lives Matter

The cold-blooded murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer has “exploded” the American public. This incident was the last straw for US residents, tired of the unpunished killings of unarmed African-Americans by police, and prompted them to demonstrate. Later, the situation worsened, the protesters began to show extreme intolerance towards government officials: clashes between demonstrators and the police and pogroms with looting began.

Against the backdrop of the current situation in American society, a racial issue has come to the surface, directly relating to about 400 years of slavery in America. Increasingly and harshly, white Americans, the “oppressors,” began to be criticized by the African-American population. The international movement Black Lives Matter (BLM, “Black Lives Matter”), which opposes violence against the black population, has gained particular popularity. The question of compensation immediately arose.

Write a letter or ask for forgiveness by phone

These are perhaps the simplest ways to make amends, because they do not involve personal contact with the person. It is important to follow the following rules:

be sincere;
apologize in this way only in case of a minor disagreement;
try to be creative;
try to make a friend laugh or touch him.

You can apologize in this way only in cases where the offense was minor.
For example, if a girl called her friend an offensive word during an argument. But if we are talking about a serious quarrel, for example, over a man, no letters will help. Psychologists advise that in the event of a serious quarrel, always make personal contact. Yes, it is more difficult, but the likelihood of resolving the conflict in the end will be higher.

Determine the severity of the conflict

The first and main step in reconciliation is realizing how much the conflict hurt your man. If it was a minor quarrel, then of course you shouldn’t kneel in front of him and beg for forgiveness. A simple “sorry” will be enough. As for more serious conflicts, actions must be deliberate and balanced.

So, let's take a closer look at the existing types of conflicts and figure out what is a serious quarrel and what is not.

Minor (groundless) conflict. As a rule, it has no basis and arises due to character traits. Banal stubbornness and disagreement with the decision of the other half can lead to disagreement, but if you ask why they are doing this, then the couple will not be able to give a reason as such. For example, you want to first go to the store and then go to a cafe, but your man does not agree with this and wants to do exactly the opposite. Minor (justified) conflict. Such a quarrel has a completely logical reason, which is voiced during the conversation. For example, your man tells you that you are not attentive to him and do not care about him. The basis for this statement is the following: you constantly make tea for yourself, but don’t even ask if he wants to drink tea with you or are planning a walk, but are not interested in whether this time is suitable for him. Serious conflict. This is already a full-fledged quarrel, the basis of which is an insult to the other half, failure to fulfill a promise, and a disdainful attitude towards the experiences and emotions of your chosen one. Such a conflict can include a conversation during which you say offensive words to a man, remember unpleasant life moments for him, thereby hurting his feelings

In this case, it does not matter at all who started the quarrel, the one who caused the most pain is guilty. A man's unintentional insult

All the pain and hurt caused was unconscious and unplanned, but the actions and words really hurt the man. For example, while intoxicated, you did and said a lot of stupid things, for which your lover had to apologize a lot to friends and relatives. The conflict is on the verge of breaking the relationship. This type of quarrel includes betrayal, duplicity, betrayal and lies. Such actions not only offend a man, but also completely change his attitude towards a woman. It is very difficult to receive forgiveness and restore relationships after such offenses, because a man may not only not forgive, but even refuse to listen to your explanations and confessions.

Each type of conflict has its own consequences, and therefore the apology will be completely different. If in the first case you can get by with a kiss and other feminine tricks, then in the fifth type of quarrel such methods will simply be useless.

Apologies “face-to-face” or “in absentia”

Let's try to understand in more detail who should apologize to a friend face to face. This should be done in the following cases:

if the quarrel was very large;
if a person has committed treason;
if friends have not communicated for several months, or even years;
if the method of absentee reconciliation did not help.

Sending an SMS is very simple, but not everyone can say the word “sorry” in person, looking into your eyes. This is why the courage to admit your mistakes is so valued. It is necessary to apologize in absentia if the offender was not actually to blame for the conflict, but his friend is distinguished by his temper.

Quite often, in relationships between long-time friends, someone has to make concessions because of the other person’s character traits. This is not bad at all, and the main thing is to reconcile in such a situation in time so as not to lose a reliable comrade.

Analyze the situation

Now stop and think about what happened just now. Remember what offensive words you said to your friend in the heat of a quarrel. You can’t figure out how to apologize to a friend if you’ve seriously offended him, when you can’t remember exactly how you offended him before. And in general, it’s worth making sure whether you need to apologize... There are situations when both are to blame. Accordingly, you both will have to forgive each other. The only question is who will take that all-important first step. But judging by the fact that you are still reading this article, you are wondering how to apologize to a friend. This means that you have already decided to take the first step. Before you make a plan for how to apologize to your friend, it is worth remembering the entire quarrel from the very beginning. Often people remember many unpleasant things that were already mentioned during a quarrel, but friends may forget about the very reason for it. If you managed to remember the reason for the quarrel, do not think that you should only apologize for this... This is your friend. You know better than anyone what might hurt your friend. If you were upset with him, then, most likely, you pressed on weak points without even realizing it.

How to deal with apologies and how to create the right environment

After any insult, you can reconcile if we are talking about truly true friendship. However, it is very important to create the right environment. It is best to organize a meeting in a place that has meaning for both friends. For example, this could be a cafe where they always met before.

It is also important to allow enough time for the meeting. An offended friend should not think that you are in a hurry. The atmosphere should be extremely relaxed and calm. That is why it is better to choose a well-known place for a meeting without loud music, where you can have a normal conversation.

It is also important to behave correctly during the apology process. What nuances are important to take into account here?

You can't get too nervous.
You should think through your speech in advance, but not memorize it, so that the words seem more sincere.
We need to forget about arrogance and arrogance. An apology, like a handout, is unlikely to work in this case.
You can put pressure on sympathy, for example, shed a stingy tear. But bursting into sobs is not recommended.
The person should be sociable, but not overly cheerful.

Show that you are upset

Another surefire way to achieve forgiveness is to show your sadness. Girls, who can cry if necessary, use this especially skillfully. It is very important not to go too far here. Still, if a girl starts crying over a trivial quarrel, she will look ridiculous, and her apology will be insincere.

You can show your sadness using social networks, for example, by posting a photo with a friend. You can also tell them in person how the life of the offender has changed in a negative way without a friend. All this will help you find a common language faster.

How to apologize to a girl if you offended her

To my most loving friend/wife, I deeply apologize for my bad words. Please forgive me.
Do you know how much I love you? I say it is immeasurable. That time I made a mistake, my heart fluttered and cried because I don't want to lose you. Please, talk to me.
My dear, I am very sorry for the mistakes I have made. I agree that I was wrong. Please give me your big heart and forgive me.
Now I understand how much I hurt you. I apologize for the quarrel. My heart is crying with sadness. Please forgive me, my love.
I apologize, my dear, for my pride. It took me a while to understand that she was destroying us. I promise to do everything I can to make sure this never happens again.
Feel the sincerity of my apologies. I'm so sorry that I caused you such pain. I apologize for the hurtful words that came out of my mouth. I am sorry!
I can shake the earth for love. My heart broke when you left. I feel sorry and angry at myself for my stupid action. It's my fault. Please forgive me. Please let us be together again.
I feel like an idiot for thinking that everything happened because of my immature thinking. I'm sorry about what happened. I wish I had the opportunity to return to your warm, loving arms. I love you so much and I'm so sorry.
Every day and every night I am haunted by unpleasant thoughts because of the pain I caused you. I'm sorry I made you cry/sad. Please forgive me.
I love you even more because you showed me how strong you are as a woman, able to forgive me after the mistakes I made. It helps me change. Thank you. I apologize for the immaturity.
I regret that I said unpleasant words. I apologize for the mistake I made. Please don't let this divide us.
I'm ashamed of what I said to you. A simple apology may not be enough. But I'm ready to do anything to get you back.
Today my morning is boring because I miss your smile. I hope my apology will help correct this. Sorry.
Please forgive me, I promise you to become better.
No words can justify my actions. I apologize for the terrible thing I did.
I'm in the park and the sunlight reminds me of your beautiful hair. It reminds me of the laugh and smile we had. I am still waiting for you. I will never stop waiting for you. I'm really sorry. I love you so much.
Now that you're gone, I feel completely empty. I miss the days when you were around. I'm sorry and angry at myself for the mistake I made in losing you. However, I hope and will wait for your forgiveness.

Psychologist's advice

Experts note that apologies will have an effect faster if a person presses on a shared past. You can come to a meeting in a dress that a friend gave to the girl. As mentioned above, it is better to schedule a meeting in a familiar and familiar place.

It is also very important to behave frankly, to say only those words that your friend wants to hear. If the quarrel was trivial, you can reduce it all to a joke. However, if a person has really done something wrong, he must speak extremely seriously in order to touch his friend.

In the event of a serious quarrel, you should not put pressure on your friend. It is unlikely that he will be able to forgive you right away, but over time, awareness of the strength of the spiritual connection will certainly come, and the conflict will be forgotten.

Choose the right time and place!

If the time and place for an apology are chosen poorly, then all your efforts will fall to dust. No one should interfere with your conversation. And your friend should definitely watch your video. Or read the letter. As for the second, you can simply “force” him to watch a video or read a letter when he comes to your friend’s house. This choice has its advantages. You will see your friend's reaction to the video or letter. If you decide to make do with a conversation, then call a friend somewhere or come to his house.

The most common mistakes when making an apology

The first and perhaps most common mistake is arrogant behavior. A person deliberately does everything to show his superiority. He apologizes reluctantly, and therefore has no desire to accept them.

Here are a few more mistakes that will doom your apologetic mission to complete failure:

apologies are made hastily, without a pre-planned plan;
during the conversation, the offender tries with all his might to prove that he is right;
an apology for a serious offense is limited to the phrase “well, sorry”;
a person tries to extract forgiveness with the help of gifts;
he throws off the blame, blaming everyone.

Psychologists advise to partially forget about pride during the conversation. Even if a guy or girl doesn’t consider themselves guilty, they should sacrifice their principles for the sake of friendship.

If the apology is made sincerely, and most importantly, in a timely manner, reconciliation will certainly be achieved.

Irina, Nevinnomysk

Original

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I'm a fool. I realized this. I’m ready to buy you all the Kinders in the world so that you can forgive me.

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We are responsible for those we have tamed. I feel like a small, abandoned puppy, left alone. I sit and just beg for forgiveness. Return me to the owner!

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Hello. There won't be a long text here about how I regret the quarrel. I'm used to proving everything with actions. And I am also ready to atone for my guilt by deed. Therefore, I’m waiting for you at: ….