What to write to a friend when you quarrel, how to make peace with a friend: words of forgiveness in prose and poetry

Each of us has quarreled with a loved one at least once in our lives. Sometimes these quarrels are minor, but there are times when a serious disagreement arises between friends.

And it doesn’t matter what caused it - a truly controversial situation in which each side considered itself right, or a trivial misunderstanding. The important thing is that you feel uncomfortable and would like to make peace with all your heart. This is really important, and if someone is to blame for this conflict, you just need to explain your position and, of course, apologize. What's the best way to do this?

Why do girlfriends quarrel and how to prevent a quarrel?

The reasons for a quarrel between friends can be the following factors:

Jealousy is one of the most common reasons. Moreover, a girl can be jealous both about a guy (a classic love triangle), and if you have a new friend to whom you pay part of your attention. The way out of this situation is to continue communication between all three parties. Perhaps, in the process of such communication, the girl will understand that there is no reason for jealousy, and the three of you can be great friends.
The arrogance of one of her friends. Such behavior always causes irritation, and there is only one step to a quarrel. Here, the continuation of communication depends only on whether the girl can overcome her arrogant behavior. If not, there is hardly any need to worry about ending such a friendship, and even more so, there is nothing to apologize for.
Discrepancy in points of view on various aspects of life. In principle, this is an absolutely normal situation when people have their own opinions that are different from others. Both parties should simply be tactful towards each other if contradictions arise, and not resort to insults so that the conversation does not end in conflict. Better yet, avoid discussing topics on which your positions obviously differ. It is better for such friends to talk about how their points of view are similar, and do things that each of them likes.
The touchiness of one of her friends as a character trait. If you know that your friend is very sensitive to objections, closes herself off and completely stops any conversation at the first sign of disagreement with her position, just make sure that your words do not contain criticism or harsh words addressed to her.
Envy can arise against the backdrop of a friend’s achievements, her success in her personal life, rapid advancement up the career ladder, etc. Here we can only advise one thing - a more successful girl should not openly demonstrate her successes, and even more so, do not brag about them. And for the envious person, instead of poison and bile about other people’s achievements, think about how to achieve no less success yourself, applying all your willpower, perseverance, and setting specific goals for yourself.

There can be many reasons for quarrels with a friend

Quarrel - destroys or strengthens

Reconsider your attitude towards quarrels. Most people perceive them as negative, don't repeat their mistakes. In psychology, this is a release of negative energy that accumulates from time to time when communicating with absolutely any person. If this does not happen, the consequences can be very dire:

depression;
anger, irritation, psychosis, nervous breakdowns;
development of complexes;
termination of communication without explanation.

Therefore, it is much better to throw out all this negativity from time to time, but in portions, restraining yourself within the bounds of decency. It turns out that a quarrel is a release of accumulated tension, and after reconciliation, the relationship will become even stronger. Think along these lines and don’t treat these conflicts as something destructive and negative.

Example from practice. The two girls, college students, had been friends since elementary school and were inseparable. Upon completion of their studies, one of them was going to go to work in her specialty, the second was going to study further at the university in her field (teachers and parents insisted on this). However, a friend dissuaded her from this because she knew that she was doing this to please adults, although she herself had dreamed of a different profession all her life. They constantly had quarrels about this until the relationship broke off forever.

Everything ended well: the second girl realized that her friend discouraged her from going to university not out of envy, but because she wanted a better life for her. Thanks to her support, after college she was able to retrain for the profession in which she saw herself and become successful. This is one example of how a quarrel between best friends carried not a destructive charge, but a positive one. According to statistics, in 85% of cases this happens in women, it’s just that not everyone understands it.

How to make peace with a friend when you quarrel?

How to make peace with a friend when you quarrel? Typically, the process of one party apologizing to the other, and subsequent reconciliation, occurs either through dialogue, or through a written letter, message, etc., i.e. either orally or in writing. In the first case the reaction , the second is more suitable for those who are at a considerable distance, when personal communication is impossible.
It is also easier to express your position in writing to a shy girl who simply does not dare to offer to meet or is afraid to say something “wrong.” In any of the options you choose, the main thing should be a sincere desire to make peace with your friend if you quarreled and to clear up all the misunderstandings . Well, if you feel guilty before your friend, your words of regret and apology should be no less sincere.
In order to structure a conversation correctly, it is best to immediately find out what the reason for the quarrel was : the words your friend said or your resentment towards them, for example, the tardiness itself or the disrespect shown at the same time became offensive. After this, it will be easier for you to find a compromise and make concessions to each other.
In order for reconciliation to take place, it is necessary, first of all, the ability to listen - this will be needed in any case, no matter which of the parties is to blame for the conflict. In order to stop a quarrel that was your fault, you need to honestly admit that you were wrong. And even if you think that by apologizing you will hurt your pride, do not give in to this feeling - this is false pride, more like pride. Another important rule is not to mention past mistakes. Let them remain in the past.
You need to convince your friend that your friendship is not an empty phrase , but a relationship that means a lot, at least for you personally. And the best way to do this is to show respect for her, even when in a state of quarrel, not to mention the fact that a respectful attitude at the time of explanation is simply necessary. It, among other things, consists of listening if a friend asks you to stop any communication for a while - both written and oral. Perhaps she needs a certain period to comprehend what happened between you - in this case, you should respect the personal boundaries of the other person and not impose.
Another way to make peace with a friend after a quarrel is to give her a surprise, just like that, without any reason. Use the services of a delivery service and send her flowers, sweets, a soft toy - in short, something that will surely bring her joy.
If a friend decisively tells you that she no longer wants to maintain the relationship, her decision will be on her conscience, but you need to make this decision without offense and reproaches, clarifying the relationship and asking for reasons.

Why do people stop being friends?

It is clear that everyone has quarrels for different reasons. Sometimes they are stupid, and sometimes the reason is significant, and the offense is justified. But it is important to remember that a friend, even if the girls are in conflict, is a close person who deserves understanding and empathy.

READ What to do if you are offended by your husband: how to get rid of the oppressive feeling

Initially, it is recommended to analyze why the scandal occurred, and only then make attempts to make peace with your girlfriend:

Misunderstanding. People, even the closest ones, have different views on certain things. You need to accept this or find friends who would share the person’s opinion completely. But it is almost impossible to agree on everything, because disagreements will still appear somewhere.
Pressure. If a friend tries to provoke, manipulates, forces you to do something, or behaves hysterically, then it is better not to communicate with her. The girl is able to adopt this pattern of behavior or develop some internal problems that will prevent her from making friends with people in the future.
Violation of personal boundaries. Not every person understands that you should not interfere in your friend’s life, even if their communication is very close and trusting. Someone tries to give advice, finds out information, tries to insert their two cents when there is no need for it. It is better to warn such friends so that they do not cross conventional boundaries and do not begin to become familiar. If talking doesn't help, then communication should be stopped.

These reasons are the main ones that can ruin a friendship. It is important to understand whether it is necessary to establish interpersonal relationships with this person at all. If a friend does not value her loved ones, neglects their feelings, behaves meanly and ugly, then it is better not to contact her. Even if it’s hard at first, after a while it will pass, the emotions will fade away.

READ Behavior after a quarrel: what to do to make your girlfriend forgive you

When a girl admits that she is guilty, but in general is not too eager to continue the friendship, it is recommended to resolve the conflict and then reduce communication to nothing. This way, the friends will remain good acquaintances, and there will be no enmity or hostility between them.

When should you not ask for forgiveness if you quarreled with a friend?

There are several moments when you should not ask for forgiveness if you quarreled with a friend:

If this is not the first time your friend has offended you, and in your relationship you have been given the role of the victim, and she has been given the role of the tyrant . In such cases, an apology can only be made on her part. If she considers this optional, you should think about whether friendship really exists between you. Perhaps she is simply using you?
If a friend committed meanness towards you : she stole a guy, set you up in front of another person. And even if she says words of apology, you will need to think carefully about whether you need to continue the relationship. It is possible that the betrayal may happen again.
If friendship has simply outlived its usefulness , your views and preferences have become too different and you are no longer interested in being together. Usually in such cases people simply disperse. Some continue to maintain friendly relationships, others break up forever. In any case, neither side has any reason to ask for forgiveness.

But there are situations when reconciliation is not necessary

Should you give a gift as an apology?

People have mixed opinions about gifts. Some say that a gift is an excellent reason to return friendship, while others consider it an imposition of obligation.

There is nothing wrong with the gift itself. It will be especially relevant if there is no serious discord between you. In this case, you can simply show up in front of your friend’s door with her favorite fruits, sweets, wine, a ticket to the show and solemnly wave your hand and a rattling bag through the peephole.

If the quarrel was serious, then the gift will be appropriate only in certain cases:

if it is inexpensive (to eliminate the friend’s feeling of guilt);
if the gift is chosen according to its meaning (according to the friend’s character);
if between you it is permissible to give gifts to each other.

If the above points are taken into account, then a gift may well smooth out some awkwardness. Give something that your friend will definitely like - her favorite lipstick, a fresh bouche, a collection of stickers, a balloon. The main thing is not the price, but your attention and effort!

Remember that a gift itself cannot smooth out rough edges and say unsaid things. It only acts as an accompanying detail, but without constructive dialogue it is impossible to make peace.

How to make peace with your friend if you are to blame for the quarrel?

This situation is simpler, because in this case the main role is assigned to you, and you yourself determine how to conduct the conversation. The easiest way is not to reinvent the wheel, but approach your friend, speak to her yourself and explain that you did not want to offend her, and in the future make every effort to prevent a similar situation from happening again. How to make peace with your friend if you are to blame for the quarrel?

For words of reconciliation with a friend if you quarreled, the following phrases are suitable:

I'm sorry, I truly regret what happened.
I am very embarrassed in front of you, and I really want to admit my guilt and make amends for it.
I’m sorry, I myself cannot understand what prompted me to behave this way, but I promise you that this will not happen again.

The main thing is to convey to your friend your repentance and the sincerity of your apology . The sooner you apologize, the easier it will be to smooth out the awkwardness of the situation, because over time, the feeling of resentment is also superimposed by a feeling of discomfort from a strained relationship (or even its rupture) and bewilderment associated with your silence.

Be sure to listen to all your friend’s comments if she talks about your mistakes. This will show her that you value her opinion, and, besides, perhaps her friend’s words are really worth listening to.

Become a mediator between friends

Some quarrels end in the first stages, when the question of how to reconcile friends among themselves is decided by the guys themselves. But if the unpleasant situation drags on, it’s time to move on to more complex methods:

Find a place to meet friends. Let it be a quiet area where you can talk to the guys or they can chat with each other.
Please note that if one of your friends is in a bad mood, the idea will have to be postponed. Try to find a time when both people are positive. You can play your favorite song for your friends before the meeting or ask them to calm down by breathing deeply.
Ask friends to speak in first person. There is no need to blame someone: “I’m tired of you with your nonsense!” This will make it easier for the interlocutor to insert an argument or some kind of argument. Say: “I’m tired of this nonsense!”
If friends quarrel again, then help resolve the conflict. Defuse the situation and don't let them fight again.
Is there anything unclear to you? Ask your interlocutor. It is possible that incomprehensible facts arose in the dialogue, which led to a quarrel. The faster you find them, the easier it will be to end the dispute.

This was the first way to reconcile friends.

How to make peace with a friend if she is to blame for the quarrel?

If you quarreled with a friend over a trifle, then you can show wisdom and behave as if nothing had happened. Sometimes this is the best way out of the situation, since focusing on nonsense is no less stupid than arguing about it. In addition, without communicating for 2-3 days, both of you will be able to understand how insignificant the reason was and make sure that it is not worth the loss of friendship.
And during this time, your friend will be able to realize that she became the cause of the conflict out of nowhere, and will ask for forgiveness for what she said or did, and you will only have to smile back and say: “Nonsense, let’s go!”
You can make this step easier for her by posting a photo of you together on social networks, signing it with words of friendship that will let her know that you are not so angry.
If your friend does not understand the hints and tips, and you feel a lack of communication with her, then start a conversation yourself, inviting her to explain why she behaved this way. Perhaps she did not at all expect that you would perceive her words or actions as an insult and is sincerely perplexed as to why this situation bothers you. Then, during the conversation, talk not about the words or actions themselves, but about your attitude towards them, and in this way it will become clear whether she perceives what happened completely differently or really believes that she can treat you in a similar, offending way. And having already found out all the details, you can decide for yourself whether to put up with it or stop communicating.
If you quarreled with a friend quite seriously, then in order to make peace, you cannot do without a serious conversation. You can initiate it yourself and in a friendly, calm tone invite her to discuss the situation. Be prepared to offer your friend several ways out of the situation. If she, in turn, expresses her vision, accept her options and discuss all the proposed points together. The main thing is to find a compromise solution.
And one more thing: if your quarrels become more frequent, and they happen due to your friend’s fault, do not take the first step. This will give her a reason to think that her behavior is excusable, and your self-esteem will constantly decrease.

Psychologist's advice

Friendships are rarely equal. Someone always becomes the leader. A strong and strong-willed person always takes the initiative in reconciliation.

Recommendations from a psychologist:

If you are a leader in your friendship, then you must be wise, fair and kind. To make peace with your friend, show the maximum of your leadership qualities. Be active, take the first steps. Write a message, invite to a meeting. Of course, if the response is complete ignorance, then you should think about whether you need this friendship.
If you have thoughts that you are not to blame for anything, and you don’t need to do anything to reconcile, then think about who you will spend your free time with, who you will trust with all your secrets. Therefore, draw the right conclusions and understand for yourself whether you need to put up with your friend or not.

Learn to forgive and meet halfway. You always need to find compromises, because every person needs a trusting relationship. The main advice that psychologists give is to suppress your selfishness in time and think not only about your feelings.

Sincerity and the ability to admit your mistakes will help reconcile girlfriends after any quarrel. But you need to understand that sometimes it happens that a scandal can become a “cumulative bomb.” In such cases, it is almost impossible to restore friendly relations.

How to make peace with a friend after a quarrel if she doesn’t want to talk?

You waited for some time, during which you behaved naturally and at ease , letting your friend know that you would not mind renewing the relationship, but for some reason she does not meet you halfway and does not take advantage of your prompts. How to make peace with a friend after a quarrel if she doesn’t want to talk? The first rule that must be strictly followed is not to involve your mutual friends and acquaintances in solving the problem. Even if such a step works, it is possible that subsequently someone’s hint or reminder of the past will again undermine the restored friendship and introduce awkwardness.
To make peace with a friend if you quarrel, you can try sending her a message with some neutral question . If she responds, in the next message you can invite her to meet and discuss all the points in a personal conversation.
If there is no answer, try calling her . Again, there is no need to talk about the problem in a telephone conversation; it is important to organize a personal meeting. If your friend does not answer your calls, the only option left is a personal visit to her.
Before you go to her home, analyze the possible motives for her silence. If you suspect that she herself is worried about the quarrel, but is simply stubborn, then go without hesitation, grabbing a bottle of wine and sweets with fruit. If this is not in her character, then perhaps she simply has not figured out herself yet, and she just needs to be alone for some time. Then leave her alone - soon her friend will remind herself.
If you met and discussed the situation, and your friend remains aloof after that, then the best behavior would be simply not to impose your company on her . You shouldn’t categorically break off the relationship - still congratulate her on the holidays and don’t avoid her company if you accidentally bump into her on the street.
Say hello, smile, ask how you are doing - in a word, behave naturally. Day after day, your relationship will become warmer, and sooner or later you will be able to set all the accents and find out what made your friend so tense.

How to maintain friendship for many years

There are no ideal people and sooner or later conflicts arise between two friends. Different points of view, emotions, understatement lead to them. But if you follow a few simple recommendations, you can maintain true friendships for life.

So:

Realize and admit your guilt in time. This will help quickly resolve the situation. Your friend will understand that you respect and love her.
Know how to remain silent. When a conflict situation arises due to a bad mood, you should say that you do not want to talk in such a tone and your conversation will continue after she calms down.
Overcome stress without harming those around you. It is important to deal with aggression and anger on your own. When you are in a bad mood and want to quarrel with someone, it is better to listen to your favorite music and come to your senses.
Remind yourself of your feelings. Say that you love your friend and respect her opinion, that she is dear to you and is an important person in your life. Such kind words will lie deep in her soul, and when she needs to make peace, she will definitely remember them.
Be able to give in. Often girls quarrel when they cannot share a guy or a dress they like. In such cases, you need to talk and find compromises.
Learn to apologize. Most often, both sides are to blame in conflicts. The ability to ask for forgiveness and take the first step towards reconciliation strengthens friendship.

The most important thing in friendships is respect. You need to respect not only your feelings, but also the person close to you. If the person is not indifferent and the friendship is real, then you will be able to competently overcome any quarrels and avoid misunderstandings in the future.

How to make peace with a pen pal if you quarrel?

There are no options here: just write again. Everything that you would say in a personal meeting (your vision of the cause of your quarrel, your feelings, ways to resolve the conflict), state in a letter. In a separate paragraph, write why your friendship is important to you and what it gives you. After that, send the letter and wait for a response.
If your friend doesn’t answer, but you don’t want to interrupt your correspondence, try sending her a funny congratulation on some funny significant day: blonde day, chocolate day, friends day - you can find many such occasions on the calendar. Continue tagging her photos and posts on social networks, and you can also illustrate your texts with cute pictures.

Write touching words about friendship

You can also send your friend not an electronic letter, but a real paper letter or postcard. In a letter, you can detail all your thoughts about your quarrel and ask for forgiveness. And in a postcard, one written word “Sorry” will say a lot.

Universal rules of reconciliation

Successful reconciliation with an offended friend, in general, is subject to several universal rules, regardless of the cause of the quarrel. Additional mental work is worth doing only when a conflict arises, as we wrote about above. And the main tips on how to properly make peace with your girlfriend after a strong fight can be summarized as follows:

Find out what is causing the quarrel. Moreover, it is the reason itself, and not its outer shell. For example, an accidentally dropped unpleasant word is a form of reason, and resentment because a friend considers you unattractive is its essence. Lateness is a form, lack of attention, care and respect (even if contrived) is the essence. And so on. Get to the root of the problem, no matter who is at fault.

Find a solution to the identified problem, and be prepared to make compromises and concessions in order to make peace. Of course, it will be very good if your friend is also ready to compromise, but you can only answer for yourself. If we are talking about an insult, you need to be ready to apologize. About insufficient care - promise to be more attentive in the future. About different positions in looking at something - agreeing to recognize someone else’s point of view as no less valid and worthy than your own (at the same time, your opinion may well remain unchanged - we are only talking about respect for other people’s views).
Don't be shy, don't be lazy and don't be afraid to talk about your feelings. Instead of putting yourself out there, try telling your friend that she is important to you, that you love her no matter what, and that you would really like to sort out the conflict so that you can continue to communicate with her. If your friend also values you, then after such recognition she will be more likely to engage in a constructive dialogue.

What not to do if you quarrel with a friend?

Of course, a universal recipe for reconciliation cannot be given for every case of quarrel. But you can determine steps that you don’t need to take if you quarrel with your friend, in any case:

Without understanding the reason for the quarrel, make accusations (no matter, yourself or your friend). And even if reconciliation happened by itself, still talk about what offended each of you - this will help you avoid repeating such conflicts in the future.
Persistently deny your own guilt if you are really to blame for the quarrel. The ability to admit guilt evokes respect in people and indicates that you have realized and analyzed your actions.
Insist on reconciliation if you are not to blame for the quarrel. This is humiliating for both parties and only creates unnecessary tension in an already strained relationship.

What should you definitely not do?

This method is used in films, usually comedies and intended for teenagers. Two girls (or guys, according to the plot, such options are possible) who are offended by each other are pushed together, when emotions are still boiling, and forced to talk. Possible options for implementing this method: lock quarreling friends in the same room, provide them with alcohol, or push them together in public, for example, at a party.

Why shouldn't you do this? In films, the goal is achieved. That's the thing: movies, with their carefully crafted plots, are different from real life. And if emotions have not yet cooled down, resentment and anger are still bubbling inside, will there be a fruitful conversation between two people? The answer will most likely be negative.

It’s worth making a reservation: sometimes in reality the cinematic method works. But both sides need to be prepared for reconciliation.

What to write to a friend when you quarrel: top 20 SMS with apologies

An SMS to a friend, if you have a fight, can be humorous or serious, in poetry or prose - whatever you, and most importantly, your friend, will prefer.

Enough to sulk at me and be offended. I'm tired of this.
There are no ideal people, and I am no exception. I'm sorry if I offended you.
We all can be harsh and cruel at times. But the main thing is to realize your mistake. So, I realized it.
It’s hard for me to ask for forgiveness, but my soul is even harder from our disagreement.
Sometimes you can offend without malice. This is exactly what happened in our case.
I'm sorry for offending you without thinking. I love you and I promise not to repeat the same mistakes.
Let's forgive each other all the offenses we have caused.
You and I have been together for so many years that I know that you miss me just as much as I do. Forgive me and don't be angry.
Sorry for everything and don’t let a temporary misunderstanding become the reason for our separation.
Your opinion is important to me. I hope it’s like mine for you. Let's exchange them again.
I thought it over and decided: it’s not good for us not to be together. I promise not to let you down again.
Don't be angry with me and don't frown, it will cause wrinkles on your forehead.
Forgive my stupid language, sometimes it itself does not understand what it is saying.
Girlfriend, don’t listen to my words, but look only into the eyes - there is love and friendship in them.
Well, she said God knows what out of fatigue. But that doesn't mean I wanted to offend you.
Friends need to forgive insults. Forgive me too, because we are friends.
Let's forget our discord and never remember it.
Our quarrel was stupid and ridiculous, and it’s time to stop. I'll stop by for some coffee in the evening.
Somehow my life became gray without your presence. Please paint it with bright colors again.
You don't want me to cry, do you? Then forgive me and come visit.

If friendship is valuable, you need to make peace

Method #1: Listen, but don't take sides.

The simplest advice on how to reconcile friends is to listen to people, try to inadvertently justify each person for the other. To make this idea a success, try:

Listen to each friend's version of what is happening. Ask: why did the quarrel happen? What is the reason? It is important to listen to each person individually, but so that it is just the two of you, without a second friend. Also show your friend how carefully you listen to him. Put down everything and your phone. You can take his hand or hold him close if he becomes hysterical. An important point: clarify unclear fragments.
The friend doesn't want to say anything. If the other person is running away from the conversation, then start it first! Ask questions that he will definitely answer. For example: “You look depressed, is something wrong?” Do not interrupt your interlocutor if “the conversation has gone south.”
Don’t tell anyone about the dialogues, especially your interlocutor! All the information you received may be shocking or untrue, but do not immediately rush to chat about it! After all, the man opened his soul to you! You don’t want to take the place of a “quarrelsome interlocutor”?

You have drawn conclusions for yourself, which means it’s time to move on to the next stage.

Words of forgiveness to a friend if you quarreled

Forgive me, I messed up. Don't hold a grudge in your heart, forgive my mistake and don't be offended. After all, your resentment is torment for both of us.
I foolishly offended you and now I’m not myself. I want to take the weight off my soul and assure you that I still value you and always will. Forgive me and believe that I will not offend you again.
My dear friend, our quarrel turned out to be stupid. You don't think I really wanted to offend you, do you? Let's make peace and not miss each other anymore.
Forgive me for losing my temper and saying too much. I want to make amends to you and invite you to forget about what happened. I miss you, I hope for your forgiveness and look forward to it.
It is difficult for me to find words to express my remorse for my actions. Let me just say: I didn’t want this. Forgive me, please, and let's continue to share our joys and sorrows with each other.
I ask you to forgive me for offending you. Believe me, it was unintentional. I will be very glad to hear from you - it will let me know that my apology has been accepted. You don't have to say anything, just call!
A chasm of misunderstanding has grown between us, and all because of some random ridiculous word! Let's forget about him and still be friends.
I don’t like to quarrel so much, but I had to. This is sad and painful. Let us return together to the state of friendship and full understanding that comes naturally to us. I'm sorry!
You are kind and understanding! You can't be angry for long! I know you as well as I know myself, so I’m sure that you feel as bad now as I do. Let's meet today and talk about everything in the world, forgetting about grievances and misunderstandings.
My soul is so cold and empty because you and I quarreled. But this emptiness helped me understand how dear you are to me. Forgive me, dear, and don't hold a grudge.
I know that I am to blame for our quarrel, and therefore I ask you to forgive me. Hurtful words hurt, but the last thing I wanted was to hurt you. I feel bad about what happened, and I would really like you to trust that I will never again allow hurtful words towards you.
You are silent and do not look in my direction. And I understand that I myself am to blame for this. But you have the ability to forgive, so give me your forgiveness, especially since I sincerely repent.
Female friendship is an incomprehensible concept. It is endless and withstands all tests. I hope that our friendship with you will also pass this test of temporary misunderstanding and become even stronger from it.
I think that we are both to blame for our quarrel, and for my part I want to ask for your forgiveness. I forgave you a long time ago. If you agree with me, I’ll be waiting for you in our cafe tomorrow.
You and I resemble little children - we had a fight and went to the corners to sulk at each other. But you and I are not children, but smart adults. So come on and behave appropriately. Just think - they quarreled. Only you and I can decide whether to reconcile or not, and when to reconcile. I decided it was time. And you?
If you want, you can tell me everything that’s on your soul, you can scold me, but just don’t be silent. Forgive me and come.
Our quarrel resembled a theater of war: screams, waving arms, emotions... Today I am coming to you with a white flag and offering to declare a truce.
I don’t know what words to approach you with, so I decided to write. I think that our friendship should be higher than petty quarrels, and we should not attach such importance to them.
Our friendship is so old that its strength will withstand an accidentally spoken extra word. I believe in this and I’m sure you do too. Would you like to meet and discuss everything?
I want to invite you to forget about all misunderstandings and start over from scratch. Quarrels and squabbles should remain in the past, and you and I should remain friends in the future.
Everyone makes mistakes, so I did. I sincerely repent of my words and ask you to forgive me for them. Believe me, your silence is the greatest punishment for me, and I have already suffered it.
Forgive my temper, but you know my character. I promise to try to control myself!
You still remain my beloved and only friend, no matter what happens. It’s hard for me that our communication with you has stopped, that we don’t gossip and don’t share secrets. If you can, forgive me and let's continue our long-term friendship.
You are my friend, a person close and dear to me, and it’s hard for me to carry within me all those words of remorse and regret that have accumulated in my soul during the time that we were at odds. It is very difficult for me without communication with you, without your presence in my life. And I believe that your generosity will help us get through this difficult stage. I'm sorry.
Of course, it’s your right to decide whether to continue communicating with us or not, after everything that happened. I ask you one thing: before you come to a final decision, remember all the bright and joyful moments, of which there were many during our friendship. And only then decide. And know that I will accept your decision, whatever it may be, because my respect for you remains unchanged.
If I could turn back time, I would never have done what I did now. But everything happened as it happened, and now it’s up to you to decide whether I’m worthy of your forgiveness or not. I believe that you understand that there was no malicious intent or desire to offend you in my actions. I understand that you need time, and I am ready to wait.
You mean so much to me that these days spent without communicating with you filled my heart with emptiness. It’s unbearably hard to understand that I caused you suffering, and I don’t know what words to express my regret about this. I believe that having cooled down, you will forgive me, and our friendship will again become strong and long.
It's so good that I have you! Even after quarreling, I continue to mentally consult with you and turn to you. Now, after the passage of time, I understand how much I need your friendship. And if you have already forgiven me for the words I said in the heat of the moment, I will always be glad to see you.
The words that caused our quarrel were spoken thoughtlessly. But now I turn to you with sincere and hard-won words: forgive me. The doors of my home, like my heart, are always open for you.
My dear friend, forgive me if I unintentionally offended you. Understand that I didn't want this. And believe me, I will never allow myself to do this again. Let's not cut from the shoulder, but meet and talk about everything.
Let's consider this unfortunate incident a test of our friendship's strength. And for my part, I will do everything to ensure that we pass this test. Forgive me and help me regain our friendship, because I cannot do this alone.
I understand that you don’t want to meet and talk with me now, and I respect your position. But let me hope that when you calm down, we’ll talk about everything and I can personally ask you for forgiveness and convince you that I offended you without meaning to.
Only a few hours had passed since our quarrel, and I already realized that I behaved inappropriately. I blame myself for everything, and I understand that you are thinking about me now. Please forgive me and let's make peace.
I only now realized how much space you occupy in my heart. Because the emptiness that has formed in him can only be filled by your forgiveness and the renewal of our former friendship. Are you agree with me?
I hurt you, and I understand it perfectly. Now the only thing I can do is ask for your forgiveness. And if I get it, I will try to make it up to her with my actions. Forgive me, dear friend!

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What to do

Usually, after going through the above stages, you will already want to make peace even after a strong quarrel. But how exactly to do this? Start from the reason.

Pride

If one of your friends considers himself better than the other (in terms of social status, career growth, marital status, moral principles), this can hardly be called friendship. But if it is perennial, it means there is something above all this that has connected you for so many years. And you’ve probably already learned to put up with a crown on the head of one of you, so cool down and just continue communicating as if nothing happened.

If the cause of quarrels is your friend’s pride and inflated self-esteem, still make sure that in the heat of the conflict she does not humiliate you. If it constantly comes to this, the relationship is not worth renewing.

Resentment

Did you say something offensive to your friend? Apologize sincerely, give her a nice gift (chocolate, bottle of wine), admit that you were wrong. Knowing that she is so sensitive and vulnerable, next time think about what you say. And in general, if she has low self-esteem and gets hung up on any negative word, try to help her get rid of her internal complexes.

Did the quarrel happen because you were offended? You will have to work with your own self-esteem (we have already told you how to do this). What if what your friend said is true and needs to be corrected? If you are sure that her words are unfounded, let them pass you by - you are above this.

Envy

If you quarreled because she was jealous of your ideal relationship with a man, think: are you showing it off too much? Especially knowing that your friend is now having problems with her personal life? This also applies to any other areas. Do not be provocateurs of envy and there will be no conflicts. What to do? Go and explain to her that not everything is as good with you as she thought.

If you are envious, this is a reason to seriously think about why she was able to achieve the desired position, while your career stands in one place. Maybe we need to stop blaming her for getting into this chair in a not entirely honest way, and start working on herself? How to make friends in this case? Call, apologize, express admiration for her determination and ask for advice on how you can change your life for the better.

Outlook on life

She is an Orthodox believer, and you are an atheist? Or is she a vegetarian to the core, and you can’t live without fast food? If the reason for your constant quarrels is antagonistic views on life, avoid these topics and do not try to change it. And making peace in such cases is easier than ever. Treat her to something nice: invite her to dinner and make her favorite vegan arugula salad.

Jealousy

If the reason is jealousy towards a man (she has someone), she should not start quarrels, like “Oh, you traded me for him,” but wait patiently until their candy-bouquet period ends. Everyday life, grinding, gray everyday life will begin, and guess who she will run to with all these problems? Of course, to you.

If you have a man and they are jealous of you, reassure your friend, explain to her that this relationship will not affect your friendship. Pay more attention to her, show her that she still means a lot to you - and the conflict will be resolved.

If the reason for the quarrel is jealousy towards other women claiming to be a friend, then you need to let go of the situation and not throw tantrums. True relationships will stand the test, but if not, that means it’s not destiny, and you shouldn’t regret it.

Finance

This issue must be resolved openly, without hints or circumlocutions. All grievances and complaints should be expressed, but in a calm tone. If both value friendship, a compromise will definitely be found.

Sequencing

First, you need to realize that your best friend, even if he is very offended now, feels the severity of what happened. It is likely that he worries no less than you and also wants to make peace, especially if your friendship has lasted more than one year and the two of you have already experienced a lot. Secondly, you need to understand how your friend feels. If you can explain his behavior, it will be easier for you to approach him. No need to worry about how to take the first step. You should not hope that your friend will decide to be the first to reconcile

It is important to understand that the more time is lost, the more difficult it is to restore the old relationship. But you still have to wait for some period

You shouldn’t rush to make peace immediately after a quarrel. Allow your friend to cool down and deal with his emotions. Sometimes you need to wait a few days. Before you go to make peace, you should analyze the whole situation, realize what was the reason for the quarrel, who is really to blame. But you should not engage in analysis in the first hours after the scandal. You also need to calm down, look at the situation from the outside, and not only from your point of view, but also put yourself in the place of your friend. If your analysis has led you to believe that your friend is to blame for what happened, you need to determine for yourself whether it’s worth putting up with him at all. Everything could happen due to the character traits of a comrade whom you will no longer be able to change. Perhaps he betrayed you, therefore, there is no guarantee that he will not do this again in the future. Therefore, it is important to evaluate the whole situation, to understand whether you need this reconciliation at all. If you understand that the conflict occurred because of you, you need to think about whether you can change and no longer behave in such a way as not to provoke new quarrels in the future. If you decide that you can cope with your negative traits in order to preserve your friendship, proceed to the reconciliation stage. When you're ready to connect, call your friend on the phone or write a letter, but it's better if you go up and talk in person. It is possible that the comrade will be overly offended and will not want to make peace. In such a situation, do not despair. Perhaps he needs more time to be ready to improve the relationship. Of course, it all depends on what caused the conflict. If, for example, you stole a girl from your best friend, it is not surprising that you are now relegated to the category of enemies and reconciliation is impossible. Remember that the process of building relationships must be correct. It is unacceptable to humiliate yourself or slander yourself, even if you are to blame for the quarrel. If the blame lies with you, say that you regret what happened and will try everything to not repeat what happened. If the fault is on a friend, you can behave as if nothing had happened, invite your friend to the bar, sit over a glass of beer. But you should not express your dissatisfaction with his behavior and point out that he is to blame for the quarrel, otherwise a new conflict will develop.

Reconciliation is only the end of a quarrel, but not its outcome

In order to prevent the conflict situation from happening again, it is important that you and your friend draw mutual conclusions. After a serious scandal, you need to conduct an analysis and come to certain conclusions

Such heart-to-heart communication will be the final point for neutralizing your conflict.

If you offended me greatly

To apologize to a girl and melt her heart if you messed up badly, you need to try very hard. The main thing is not to utter pompous words, not to promise to be “good” for the rest of your life. Speak from your heart, in your own words, honestly with your friend and yourself.

The algorithm of actions may be as follows:

Admit your guilt. Explain why you made a mistake, that you are fully aware of the inadmissibility of such a thing. Don’t look for the reason for the misconduct in the girl, dig deeper: lack of upbringing, bad example of friends, and so on.
Apologize in simple words. Speak sincerely and honestly, briefly.
Promise your loved one that you will try not to repeat the mistakes. Surely the girl won’t believe it right away. The guy’s task is to convince her of the sincerity of the words spoken.
If the girl insists on breaking up and does not forgive, tell her that you really value your relationship with her. Promise that you will make any sacrifices to save the couple, achieve trust and forgiveness.
Use tactile contact. When the girl softens a little, take her hand and put your arm around her shoulders.
Don’t push your loved one, don’t demand an answer right away. The girl needs time to cool down and forgive a strong offense.

Quarrel is natural for any couple

A quarrel is an event typical for any relationship. And for some couples this is not an event at all, but a process. If scandals and showdowns are repeated regularly over the same issue, this will sooner or later lead to a break in the relationship.

However, if partners have no complaints against each other at all, this is also an alarming sign. Most likely, indifference and indifference have reigned in the couple, and behind the peaceful, beautiful facade there is nothing but emptiness.

There can be a great many reasons that cause conflicts. We are all very different and react to the same situations differently.

Petty quarrels

A woman always wants a man’s active participation in matters of running a joint household, and friction on everyday issues arises quite often:

didn’t go to the store;
didn't take out the trash;
did not fix the broken thing;
did not put my things back.

Not all men want to share household chores with their spouses. The woman insists on her opinion, begins to put pressure, the man resists - a quarrel begins to boil.

If you fight over dishes that no one wants to wash after dinner, it will irritate, upset, and ruin your nerves, but will not lead to the collapse of your relationship.

Serious quarrels

It’s a completely different matter when the cause of conflicts is the so-called “irreconcilable contradictions” - the favorite formulation of lawyers and divorce specialists. What is not hidden behind this term:

failure to fulfill marital responsibilities;
disagreements in matters of raising children;
betrayal;
financial difficulties.

The list goes on, and each item deserves a separate discussion.

Truce after insult

It is the word that hurts the most. And if you and your friend have been communicating only by correspondence for a long time, since she lives in another city, then it is not always possible to understand what offended her. Even a harmless joke can hurt more than the sharpest knife. In this case, all that remains is to correct the problem and decide what to write to your friend in order to make peace.

It is important to try to have a heart-to-heart talk. To do this, you should write as sincere a letter as possible online, trying to convey to your girlfriend everything that you would like to tell her in reality.

Be sure to explain your position and try to avoid insults both to yourself and to her. If she values your relationship just as much as you do, she will definitely read the message and, at a minimum, respond to it, and at maximum, forgive.

But sometimes a quarrel with a friend is so strong that she ignores you and does not intend to talk to you. In this case, you should also write to her. An email or SMS will definitely reach her, and she will still read it. Just try to apologize as sincerely as possible and try to explain your point of view on the current situation. You can also ask a mutual friend to reconcile two close friends, especially if he knows the situation well and is ready to participate in it.

It is quite possible that you simply did not understand each other. The result of such a letter should be a transition to personal communication. You can invite a friend:

to the cinema;
for a walk;
help with shopping;
choose a new dress.

If she didn’t answer, then there’s no need to escalate the situation. It is necessary to give her time for her to understand her mistake. It is quite possible that after some time she will write to you and you will make peace.

It often happens that the guy becomes the cause of the quarrel. In this case, making peace can be quite difficult. After all, being offended by the one who took the guy away means almost a lifetime. It is extremely rare that reconciliation is possible in this case. But if friendship is dear to you, you should still write a letter and try to figure everything out.

Quarrel with a classmate

In most cases, people become friends from school and this friendship lasts for many years. Therefore, the question often arises of what to do if you quarreled with your best friend and how to make friends with her again. Solving this problem quickly can be difficult, but it is possible.

This may sound trivial, but it’s worth being smarter and starting to put up with stepping over yourself

It is important to explain the situation from the side from which you see it. Just avoid accusations so as not to add fuel to the fire and make her start to hate you.

You must definitely try to resolve the conflict.

How to reconcile friends?

If two girlfriends or two friends have a strong quarrel with each other, you can sympathize with their mutual friend: he will know all the details of the conflict and will probably not feel too good when he realizes that choosing a side in it will mean the loss of communication with one of the girlfriends (with one of friends).

But there is a way out: you can try to bring them to reconciliation:

Talk to each of them separately. Try to convince them that they need to meet and talk. Tell your vision of the conflict, but do not take sides, and offer several compromise options. Perhaps these conversations will allow them to look at the situation differently and make peace.
If none of them is ready to discuss the conflict alone with the other, you can try getting together as a group and discussing the situation together.
Tell them that it is unpleasant for you to see them quarrel, remind them how much they valued joint communication before the conflict. Try to prevent a repeat scandal in your presence. Ask clarifying questions (“Why do you think that she…”, “What would you do in her place?”), offer compromise options (“Why don’t you try…”, “Have you thought about such an option as ..."), and perhaps you will be able to reconcile them. During the dialogue, try to remain calm.

Fiasco

Unfortunately, quarrels between friends do not always end in reconciliation. In some situations it is simply impossible. You shouldn’t go through humiliation just to get the relationship back if:

the friend returned the gift (this means a final break);
stole your boyfriend or husband;
told others unpleasant things about you;
never asked for forgiveness and never took the first step towards reconciliation;
lied to you often and a lot;
I didn’t trust you with everything, at the same time I had 5-6 more similar friends;
used your finances without restrictions, without investing a penny in joint events;
poured out her soul to you, never sincerely interested in your affairs.

These are extreme situations, indicating that the woman you thought was your friend may not be one at all. Such things cannot be forgiven.

If you have a quarrel with a friend, the best decision is to abstract yourself for a while, and then look at it from the outside in order to objectively evaluate it. Follow the instructions from psychologists, and then reconciliation will not take long to arrive.

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