How to properly respond to rudeness and rudeness

If you don’t know how to react to people’s rudeness, then read the article. It contains a lot of useful advice from psychologists and recommendations for a decent way out of situations.

Rudeness, in essence, is a defense mechanism that, like a shield, protects the vulnerable being behind it. Every time he raises his voice, this creature straightens up behind this strong wall to feel significant and strong. But feeling sorry for him and succumbing to provocation is a mistake.

Read the article on our website on how to respond beautifully to insults . You will learn to use the right phrases to respond to rudeness and answer awkward questions.

Of course, first of all, a person’s response to rudeness depends on the set of his personal qualities. But this does not mean that any response will be correct. In any case, if after reading this article you realize that you are not endowed with “immunity from rudeness,” then at least find out how to acquire it. Read on.

Why people are rude to each other: reasons for rudeness

Rudeness
Of course, a person’s upbringing plays an important role here. If a child is a constant spectator of protracted arguments between his parents, then this will not pass without a trace and will affect his future worldview. Parents, as you know, are an authority for a child, whom you want to emulate, but usually you want to be like the strongest. Yes, if one parent humiliates and is rude to his spouse in front of his child, then their child will quickly realize who is in charge in the family. Why are people rude to each other? Here are the reasons for rudeness:

This is one of the ways to assert yourself.
If a boor sees that his verbal opponent cannot stand up for himself, then he freely starts to “dance.”
He thereby tries to elevate himself in the eyes of others and feel strong and confident.
It is for these reasons that weak, shy, not very proactive individuals are subjected to rudeness, who cannot “fight back”, but only endure the damage caused to them.

Rudeness is not always a character trait. Perhaps the person simply had a difficult day, and therefore his overwhelming negative emotions tend to come out. You can fall under the “hot hand” anywhere.

Psychologist's advice

Representatives of the fair sex who are regularly humiliated by a loved one should heed the advice of experts :

do not think that the behavior of the faithful will change on its own;
do not hold back your anger by pretending to be a tender wife;
do not stoop to his level, responding to humiliation with humiliation;
do not do things that are unacceptable to you;
remember that you can only change a person if he himself wants it.

You shouldn’t torment yourself with thoughts about why my husband constantly curses and insults me, and you don’t need to convince yourself that such relationships in the family are the norm. It must be remembered that married life does not exist without resentment and quarrels. But learning to avoid conflict situations will take years. Therefore, if the insults are one-time in nature and this is followed by reconciliation, then the best solution would be a heart-to-heart conversation. Take the test and find out what your chances are of getting your husband back

Why should rudeness be stopped?

Rudeness should be stopped.
With such people, the main thing is to be able to stand up for yourself. Why should rudeness be stopped?

Don't give these people any reason to think that they can get away with anything, because they will immediately automatically exalt themselves to the skies, naively believing that they are higher and more important than the people around them.
Boors, as a rule, are cowards who hide behind the mask of a kind of daring, self-confident person who can do anything, always and everywhere.
They passionately try to be just like that, and therefore, using caustic words, they try to convince not only you, but also themselves.

Therefore, rudeness must be stopped by always responding to offensive words.

Why does a husband insult and humiliate his wife?

Psychologists recommend that women whose husbands insult and humiliate them establish the reasons for such behavior. They believe that representatives of the fair sex can give rise to such treatment.

But, be that as it may, it is necessary to teach your husband a lesson for disrespect. If only because he is a representative of the stronger sex and initially does not have the right to influence someone who is weaker.

Situations in which one party plays the role of a victim, and the other - a tyrant, are not uncommon in family relationships. Unfortunately, many women reconcile themselves with these circumstances and continue to live with their spouse. Such relationships indicate an unhealthy situation in the family. And it is children who suffer first.

In addition, there are usually no reasons. They simply don't exist. A man simply asserts himself in this way and realizes his worth.

Perhaps he is taking revenge for the past. If a wife once cheated or forced her husband into marriage, then such behavior is at least understandable. But the whole point is that no reason can justify humiliation and suffering.

Some psychologists say that there is a certain category of women who like their role as victims. They consider themselves saints, whose destiny is to live in torment. This is the wrong position. No one should ever be a victim.

Think about whether you need such a family. Maybe you shouldn't take revenge on your spouse? Is it just time to file for divorce? But it also happens that the partner does not even suspect that his behavior humiliates his companion. It seems to him that he is behaving normally. Maybe he just came across a woman with no sense of humor? Does she interpret the slightest statements as bullying and insults?

If you are offended by your husband’s jokes, his seemingly harmless ridicule of your shortcomings, then you need to call him for a frank conversation. Explain to your loved one that you do not accept jokes about your own appearance or habits. Tell me how unpleasant and painful it is for you to listen to his banter. A loving person will definitely listen and try to protect you from worries.

If the insults humiliate you, there is open anger in them, and the man enjoys the process, then you should think about breaking up. The tyrant will not stop. His offensive remarks can become destructive. The situation in the house will heat up to the limit, and terrible things can happen.

The main reasons when a man behaves in an unacceptable way are:

1. Psychological traumas from childhood. Probably, in the husband's family, the mother and father had the same relationship. As a boy, he learned that different behavior was a deviation from the norm. A man should humiliate his wife.

2. Jealousy and personality complexes. Insecure men try to increase their self-esteem in such a dubious way. They are sure: the wife is cheating, she can’t live with a creature like him? He takes out his grievances, even if his suspicions are unjustified.

3. Heightened self-esteem. A man who considers himself a deity, the only breadwinner in the family, is sure that he has the right to mock his wife. He maintains it, and whoever pays for the music orders it.

4. Lack of love. If a man has another woman, but his love for his wife has disappeared somewhere, he can provoke his wife into divorce by his behavior. He expects her to leave and give him freedom. He thus shifts the responsibility for the safety of the family onto the woman he once loved.

5. Provocations from a woman. Sometimes wives humiliate a man with their behavior. For example, they allow themselves to praise a friend’s husband or admire a co-worker. No male representative will allow himself to endure such humiliation. He takes revenge in revenge.

If you are sure that you behave with dignity and do everything for your family and spouse, try to find out the reasons for the disrespectful attitude towards you. Call your spouse for a frank conversation. Alternatively, contact a family psychologist. A specialist will analyze the situation and help solve the problem.

I remind you that sometimes divorce is the only way to get rid of bullying and insults. In this case, you should not be afraid of condemnation from relatives. Your mental health is more important.

Is there immunity from rudeness: what is it?

There is no immunity from rudeness
. Boors are just people whose hobby is raising their voices and harsh words. Just give them a reason to make a fuss and they will take advantage of it. But it's better not to give it. Try not to enter into discussions with such people, but if this happens, do not just back down, thereby making it clear that he has won. Don't be like yourself, be better. Is there immunity from rudeness? What it is?

We encounter rudeness face to face literally at every corner: in the elevator, at a bus stop, at work, in a store and even at home.
In some cases, we are witnesses to this manifestation, in others we are the victim, and sometimes (or often?) the instigator himself.
Essentially, it’s like a lottery - you never know how a person will react to one or another of your actions or phrases.
When you do come across this, you have no idea what to do about it or how to react.
Sometimes you want to fall through the ground, or, conversely, attack a person in reverse.

Most people will simply remain silent and complain about their bad upbringing, or the unfair treatment of other people towards them. Therefore, immunity from rudeness does not exist. It is important to learn how to respond to a rude person correctly. Read more about this below.

If they are rude at work

Remember to behave according to your position. Don't raise your voice when talking to your boss. Do not violate the principles of business ethics, be polite. Think about what you want to get in the end, and then use psychological techniques.

Boss

Are you being bullied by your boss? Do not try to express your complaints openly, as you can easily lose your job. Try to understand what motivates the boss when he behaves incorrectly. Perhaps the boss is simply not competent enough. If your boss is a tyrant who has treated his subordinates with disdain all his life, you should not enter into open confrontation with him, the risk of causing problems is too great.

Think maybe the problem is you? Sometimes a boss is too strict because an employee is not doing his job very well.

Colleagues

If your strengths are equal, you can try to negotiate with the offender. But you shouldn’t immediately get into an argument with a boor. Remember that you will have to maintain communication with your colleague, because you are in the same team. You may even have to work on a joint project, then dialogue is inevitable. If other employees may suffer because of your conflict, it is better to refuse to defend your position. Having received a reprimand because of you, your colleagues will not figure out whether you did the right thing. They will simply begin to treat all parties to the dispute with disdain.

Subordinates

When a subordinate begins to insult his boss, things take a dangerous turn. Do not tolerate rudeness from an employee, otherwise you will lose the authority and respect of other employees of the company. But you shouldn’t answer sharply either; colleagues won’t take a rude boss seriously. Be tactful but strict. Follow business ethics.

How to react to people’s rudeness and rudeness: advice from a psychologist on how to do it correctly

You need to react correctly to people’s rudeness and rudeness.
You can encounter people’s inadequate reactions almost everywhere: at home, on the street, in the office and even on the Internet. Naturally, a boorish attitude is not only annoying, but also upsetting - especially if the person has not done anything wrong before.

Some people seriously believe that the best thing to do is not pay attention. However, if this advice is applicable to a stranger who was simply rude on the tram, then in the case of energy vampires it will be useless.

People of this type experience incredible pleasure from other people’s negative emotions and will deliberately provoke a mentally unstable, vulnerable, emotional person to have a breakdown.
What bad will happen if a person ignores rudeness? In essence, he will become a “whipping boy.”
Energy vampires will continue to suck the life force out of him, destroy his self-esteem, and amuse his ego at the expense of his neighbor. This should never be allowed to happen.
Why does this or that person become a victim of rudeness? The reason is uncertainty.
Many rude people choose as their victim an emotional, quiet, complex person - someone who cannot respond to their advances.

How to react to people's rudeness and rudeness? Here are some tips from a psychologist on how to do it correctly:

WE RAISE SELF-ESTEEM

Of course, in such a situation it all depends on your self-esteem.
If you don’t feel confident, beware of getting into arguments and are afraid to express your opinion, because because of this there is a threat of encountering the opposite - start improving your self-esteem.
Because it is precisely such people that boors (and not only) “hunt”.
After all, it is precisely such people who have the habit of remaining silent where they need to speak, defending their own dignity, but they are not able to do this.
After all, they themselves are not sure how great their own potential is, which means they have no idea whether it is even worth “protecting” from the attacks of others.
Boors are quite unhappy and weak people. They will never dare to offend someone who goes through life with his head held high, who knows his worth. Naturally, we are not talking about excessive pathos - everything should be in moderation.
It is important to show rude people that this is someone for whom it is dangerous to be rude. The basis is a stable psyche.
A holistic personality, resistant to emotional “tests” and “assaults,” becomes an object of rudeness much less often than one “lost in life.”

This principle works the other way around - if you have healthy self-esteem and feel good emotionally, then it will be almost impossible for you to be rude.

DON'T STOP TO THE LEVEL OF A HAMA YOURSELF

It may be difficult to restrain yourself in an argument with a boor, but this should not prompt you to turn into a mirror.
Do not expect that in this way you will be able to repel the attack of your verbal opponent. This is wrong.
Don’t be like the person you plan to “fight” with, otherwise everything will be pointless.
To stop the flow of rudeness in your direction, you will need patience. Only this will help you reason soberly and calmly, because it is precisely this behavior that can “scare away” the enemy from you.
The fact is that boors most often encounter only two models of behavior: detachment and attack. The first implies a person’s inability to stand up for himself, and the second implies irritation, which will soon cause you to raise your tone and begin to be rude in response. No need - you are above this.

Conduct a conversation with such a person casually and calmly. Such restraint will force the boor to show his true nature - a coward, and leave the game.

DON'T LET HAMMA CAPTURE YOUR MOOD

In fact, people are rude to you only because they themselves are not settled in life and are trying to release their negativity in this way.
But, unfortunately, this negativity can inhabit others.
Boors are well aware of this, and therefore mindlessly throw harsh words, thereby trying to raise their self-esteem.
Under no circumstances should you succumb to this influence. Treat such people condescendingly, like an adult, and do not take their words seriously.

NEED TO DISCOURAGE—turn the conversation into a joke

How to react to rudeness? Be rude in response? This is not the best way.
The best strategy is to discourage the “emotional opponent” without getting into an argument or losing your composure.
In essence, the potential victim simply does not give the boor what he wants.
Calmness in a situation with a rude person is a kind of “break of patterns” that he simply does not expect.
If the actions of a boor really offend you, but you don’t have time to come up with a suitable argument to show him your superiority, it’s easier to turn it all into a joke.
Even if it is absurd.
You can add praise to your opponent for a “successful joke.”
It is important that the remarks are witty, unpredictable, and confident.
You should never mumble in a situation with a boor. This is a definite loss.

SYMPATHY

Another powerful strategy is empathy.
A rude person comes into a stupor when, instead of retaliatory aggression or frustration, he receives support: “What, brother, was it a bad day? I understand, it happens."
However, one should not provide food for new insults and ground for unsolicited advice.
It is important to put up a kind of barrier: “Is that all you wanted to say? What do you have on the case?”

Another great option is to SNEESE and say:

“Sorry, this happens to me every time I hear nonsense addressed to me.”

Advice: There is no need to replay this unpleasant situation in your head every time, coming up with belated response phrases or your interlocutor’s reaction to them. Forget it. Firstly, you can’t fix a boor so easily. Secondly, you understand perfectly well that that person was wrong. Thirdly, do not give him what he initially sought - lowering your self-esteem and depressed mood.

You can also put down a boor with the phrase: “Rudeness generally suits few people, and even more so you . Naturally, these tips relate more to the situation when an ill-mannered person of equal social status should be put in his place. In the case of a tyrant boss, you need to act differently. Read about this below in the text.

Why is a man rude?

Photo by Valdemar: Pexels
The problem when, instead of words of love, a girl hears indecent words, vulgar jokes, filled with aggressive expressions, is quite common. It’s hard to make a mistake if we assume that almost everyone has had such moments in their lives.

They can arise in any society - when you communicate with people without education, intellectuals, bohemians. It is impossible to predict when and who will pour a bucket of dirt on you. A person who is rude can forget about his behavior in minutes and confess his love to you.

A recent example was when a girl returned from work a little late due to traffic jams. She was met by an angry husband. He did not make any specific accusations and was not interested in what happened. He just yelled and sarcastically for a few minutes. Then he switched and became a normal person. What happened to him?

There may be several reasons why your loved one may be rude to you. But among them, one very complex and interesting one stands out, from a psychological point of view. This is the inability and inability to understand one’s emotions and feelings, excessive expectations that do not correspond to reality.

If we recall the above example, the cause may be a combination of fatigue, anxiety, hunger, fear, and dissatisfaction. Let's go in order:

The man came home, he worked all day, and finally imagined that when he came, warm, loving hands and a delicious dinner would be waiting for him. Instead there is emptiness and cold.
He was just tired and, returning home, he realized that he would have to work here too - cook, wash dishes. You're used to this, but your partner is unlikely to be. Thoughts of revenge probably immediately began to swirl in his head.

The young man imagined that you were spending time with someone else and began pumping up his imagination with crazy scenes.
He heard a colleague or friend boast about what an excellent wife he had, compared these praises with you and decided that it was time to start raising him.
The whole day he was haunted by failures - his boss and his mother shouted, his car broke down, the repairs turned out to be more expensive than he thought. It all accumulated and accumulated in him, and as soon as you arrived, it burst out. He simply found a victim on whom to pour out his negativity.
He failed and cannot forgive himself for it. Rudeness is a reaction to frustration.
Something good happened to the man, he ran to share the news with you, but you were not there.
He just felt good all day, he’s not used to it, and now he has to ruin everything in order to feel normal.

There can be many similar reasons, they change, at some point one comes out on top, then another. But together they form a lump, which, like a snowball, if it does not melt, will grow more and more.

Immaturity of emotions and a low level of emotional intelligence are not the only reasons for rudeness, rudeness, and shouting on the part of a man.

The man calls him names and is rude like a teenager

He can express his contempt and anger in every possible way due to his low internal culture. He's just a rough, uncouth guy on the inside. I grew up this way and can’t do it any other way.

Or perhaps the man is toxic. He takes pleasure in being rude to you. Sometimes he can be sweet and cute, but then he comes to the conclusion that it’s time to put you in your place and starts bullying you.

Rudeness can be an accidental manifestation of a difficult internal state in a completely adequate man. Such behavior is not typical of him; he himself can hardly bear it, and if he becomes rude, he will regret it for a long time.

How to properly respond to the rudeness and rudeness of a child or teenager to parents - son or daughter?

It is important to respond correctly to the rudeness and rudeness of a child or teenager to parents.
Adolescence is a time of open (albeit absurd) protest. A mature child seriously believes that he is an adult who can make his own decisions and enter into “equal” discussions with his parents. This is why many fathers and mothers are stupefied when a teenager begins to dictate his rights and resort to rudeness and rudeness. How to get out of the situation? How to properly respond to the rudeness and rudeness of a child or teenager to parents - son or daughter? Here are some tips:

DON'T BE PROVOCED

For a teenager, rudeness is a way of psychological pressure.
He tries to “push” the parent’s personal boundaries in order to achieve his own.
Practice works - most adults are horrified when a previously friendly and calm child says terrible things with a defiant look.
Some are overcome by anger, while others are about to start crying.
In fact, calm is your best friend in the fight against teenage aggression and rudeness.
When a child sees that no one is afraid of his antics, he will “slow down.”

AVOID SCANDALS

By reacting to a teenager’s rudeness with shouts, parents only “add fuel to the fire.”
You should resort to another strategy: “If you want to talk and discuss something, then let’s do it calmly.”
But if the child is “seething”, you need to give him time to come to his senses. After all, an adult is a wise person. Which (unlike a child) should be able to cope with their emotions.

DON'T TAKE ANYTHING Personally

The phrases “you are a bad mother, I hate you”, “you are not my parents, I will leave you” - hurt the hearts of many parents of teenagers.
But, in fact, you should not think that the child really thinks so. An hour or two will pass, and the child will think differently.
Teenagers are maximalists, often exaggerating reality.
Therefore, this “hatred” is a kind of “attack” that quickly passes as soon as the explosion of emotions in the offspring’s soul fades away.
This is why you should not panic. It is better to continue the conversation when the child calms down somewhat.

STOP READING NOTATIONS

Despite the fact that no one has canceled discipline, it will not be possible to instantly “extinguish” a teenager’s ardor.
It is better to be for him not a supervisor, but an older friend.
This approach minimizes conflicts by more than 50% .
If the parent immediately attacks the offspring with moralizing, then the teenager will begin to “defend” with redoubled force.
The best way to establish contact with a boorish teenager is to remember yourself at his age, try to understand the reason for the “rebellion” and jointly find a compromise.

DON'T LET YOU SIT ON YOUR HEAD

For a teenager, rudeness is a way to throw out negative emotions.
However, you should not “give up” and indulge the slightest whims.

Despite the fact that you need to be a friend with your child, it is important to give him an understanding that the opinion of an adult is still more authoritative.

Lack of strong character traits

Many people notice that certain people are almost constantly attacked, while others do not come across rude people. What is the reason for this pattern? Offenders have developed intuition and immediately understand whether it is worth entering into an argument with a new acquaintance. For conversation, boors choose weak opponents who do not know how to fight back.

Weak personalities include those with low self-esteem, those who avoid conflicts and quarrels, well-mannered people who suffer from an increased sense of guilt.

How to behave with dignity in a conflict situation: universal techniques

To prevent rude people from shaking your calm, you need to work on your self-esteem. When you learn to appreciate your strengths, bullies will stop hurting you.

Universal tips on how to become kinder and calmer towards people

“Calmness”

Don't try to defend yourself aggressively when getting into an argument with boors.
Don't show that you are upset or don't know how to respond to an insult. Be calm and confident, speak clearly and loudly. Your interlocutor does not expect such a reaction. He entered into conflict to feed on energy. The offender will be disappointed when he realizes that you are not offended by his remarks. Example dialogue:

Conductor: “Don’t give me such big bills, I don’t have change. Find the exact amount, otherwise I’ll throw you off the bus!” Interlocutor (calmly and clearly): “Excuse me, what did you mean?” Conductor: “I don’t have change!” Interlocutor: “I still have a long time to go out, please try to exchange money and get into my position.”

“Psychological Aikido”

This method helps to direct all the anger that he is trying to take out on you onto the offender. When your opponent starts saying something offensive, agree with every word he says. Soon the situation will become ridiculous, and the boor will stop trying to ruin your mood. And if you also start complimenting your interlocutor, his reaction will greatly amuse you.

Example dialogue:

Irritated patient standing in line: “Don’t you see that there’s a big line here, don’t you have eyes? Where are you going? Do you consider yourself better than others?” Interlocutor: “Yes, I’m better than others, I don’t have eyes. That's why I'm trying to get an appointment." Irritated patient (perplexed): “But I’m standing in line like the others.” Interlocutor: “Yes, you are standing in line, and I, so shameless, climb ahead.”

A few of your remarks will be enough. After witty answers, your opponent will feel confused. He won't want to argue with you anymore. If others react to your phrases with laughter, the conflict will end even faster.

This technique is difficult to perform. To answer this way, you need to practice for a long time.

"Humor"

An abuser who wants to upset someone draws more air into his lungs to utter insults. Say something funny, smile, praise your interlocutor. After your actions, he will relax and will no longer try to hurt you.

An example of a beautiful response with humor to insults, how you can laugh it off:

The secretary who was on her way to the boss with a tray, but dropped it and broke the cups, causing the boss's anger (with a smile): “You look so beautiful today.”

“Statement”

Sometimes it is enough to simply point out to the offender that he is behaving uncivilly.
Statement of facts will discipline the rude person. Be creative when coming up with a line, don't say obvious things. Example dialogue:

Customer: “Can you give me some headache pills? I can’t remember the name.” Seller: “Maybe you should buy pills to improve your memory?” Buyer: “Then you will need a cure for rudeness.”

Advice from a psychologist on how to stop being angry and irritated with people

“Sneezing”

This method will work if you can’t stop arguing with the offender.

You have been listening to insults for a long time, and the boor is not going to stop in his desire to offend you? Continue to wait with a serious look until the rude person finishes the dialogue, do not answer him. After your interlocutor’s words, sneeze and say: “Sorry, I’m allergic to the nonsense that you tried to convey to me. So what did you mean there?”

Smart and beautiful examples of phrases to respond to any insults

“Why do you want to seem even worse than you really are?”
“Your rudeness does not suit you, try to be kinder”
“Should I answer you politely or honestly?”
“Your oratorical abilities do not adorn you”
“Is that all you wanted to say?”
“I thought you were a more educated person”
“I don’t have as much time as you, I don’t want to waste it on your complexes.”
“I hope you didn’t say that seriously just now.”

How to properly respond to the rudeness and rudeness of a colleague at work, a boss, or a manager?

You need to respond correctly to the rudeness and rudeness of a colleague at work, a boss, a manager.
If it’s easy to “send off” a bully on the street, then adequately responding to the rudeness of a colleague or boss is a much more difficult task. In this case, it is important to give a worthy “rebuff” without crossing the line - otherwise you may lose your job. What to do? How to properly respond to the rudeness and rudeness of a colleague at work, a boss, or a manager? Here are the tips:

RUDE COLLEAGUES

This should not be regarded as a shortcoming of the “victim”.
It is worth understanding that a rude colleague is a complex person whose problems force him to behave this way.
This is an unhappy person whose only joy is to ruin someone’s mood.
You should take it calmly, letting 90% of what is said fall on deaf ears.
Naturally, you can make contact and find out what caused this behavior, try to make friends - but only when the rudeness is “one-time”.
Perhaps the person really has problems.
But if a colleague is constantly rude, it is best to simply not give in to provocations and minimize communication with him.
You can give the opposite reaction. The bully always hopes that the victim will “explode” in response. If she is calm, speaks politely and even smiles, the boor will simply have “nothing to cover.” Sometimes the phrases are appropriate: “I understand you perfectly, I myself would be angry in such a situation . After such words, the boor will even want to apologize in most cases.
There is no need for an active dialogue with a rude person - if there is no other option, you should limit yourself to a couple of barbs.

RUDE BOSS

Everything is more complicated here.
Unlike colleagues, any response to the boss’s rudeness can cost you the job.
If your boss's rudeness is common, it is better to refrain from frequent contact with him.
Don't pay attention to minor niggles.
You should respond affirmatively to instructions: “Yes, I understand, it will be done,” “This minute,” “Here is my report, I have redone everything as you asked,” “Yes, of course, I will do it,” etc.
Alas, you will have to sacrifice a little of your character and pride and completely adapt to the rules of your boss.

Does he want to see the ideal employee? You should become one. You shouldn't get upset and show disrespect. But you also shouldn’t fawn. In the end, the boss is not a girlfriend or a friend, he is just a person who wants to see the work done to the highest possible quality. Accordingly, it is worth giving it to him. The best way to gain understanding with your boss is to silently deliver excellent results. There will be much less rudeness.

The boor is afraid of you

People who use harsh language often have low self-esteem. They suffer from envy of others, and when some acquaintance achieves success, the boor is ready to say many unpleasant words to him, thus covering up his fear of failure.

How to respond correctly: best practices

“Taking care of the hedgehog”

Your aggressive friend resembles a hedgehog that shoots out thorns to defend itself. If you feel sorry for the animal, the hedgehog will calm down and hide its needles. Looking at the offender, you will understand that he is angry and conflicted, but deep down, the boor is scared.

Try to take care of your interlocutor. Express your sympathy and support, show interest in the conversation, and say a few kind phrases. The opponent will understand that you are friendly, he will see that in the world there is not only competition, but also cooperation.

If your interlocutor feels jealous of you, use the “Psychological Aikido” or “Calm” technique. A bad result can be achieved by using the “Humor” method (your opponent will not understand the jokes), “Sneezing” (your friend will most likely be offended).

Witty responses to insults:

“This is not the easiest time for you, but everything will work out, don’t worry.”
“Do you like your behavior? It seems not. Why are you afraid to show your real self?“
“Are you so interested in my personality? Thank you for your attention to me"
“Is that all you wanted to say?”
“Why are you trying to insult me? What will this give you?“
“Don’t be so angry, let everything work out for you”
“You look much worse when you're irritated.”

“Ignoring”

For all causes of rudeness, the “Ignoring” method is suitable. It doesn’t always make sense to enter into a dialogue with the offender. If you do not want to answer your opponent’s accusations, you see that the interlocutor is not entirely adequate and may be dangerous, remain silent.

Remember that rude people want your energy and your response is important to them. Do not respond to the attacks of a passerby, then he will quickly become disappointed and lose interest in you.

It should be ignored correctly. Do not show emotions, refrain from looking fiercely, otherwise the interlocutor will think that you are simply afraid to answer or have forgiven him for this rudeness. Look at the boor as if there is no one around. Don't show that you are hurt by his insults.

How to react to the rudeness of parents and mothers?

The mother needs to react correctly to the rudeness of parents.
Not all parents are wise. Sometimes it is not the teenager who becomes the boor and the aggressor in the family, but the father or mother. How to be? How to react to the rudeness of parents and mothers? First, you should develop immunity to parental accusations. Many fathers and mothers assert themselves by humiliating the child. The phrases “it’s your own fault , “you brought me out yourself” are not always true.

The source of rudeness is bad manners and disrespect for others.
Even if this person is a minor, he deserves understanding and humane treatment.
The disadvantage of parents' rudeness is that the latter, one way or another, are in a dominant position.
As long as the child is dependent on them in material and everyday matters, it will be very difficult for him to express his position. Rude parents take advantage of this. Therefore, you should react calmly.
You will have to grow up morally early. The difficulty is that the despot mother or father will not change. If a child “did not live up to his expectations” at 15 years old, then at 30 years old he will resort to pressure and groundless accusations.

Advice: So you need to be smarter. Conversations from an “adult-to-adult” perspective will reduce the number of conflicts significantly. One can imagine that these phrases do not come from the mouth of the parent, but are said by a stranger.

Important:

Keep silent
Stay with your self-esteem
Communicate minimally, step aside

If parents are constantly rude to a child or teenager, he can turn to an adult he trusts - an older brother, aunt, grandmother, etc. An option with a school psychologist is also possible. The specialist will be able to develop the right strategy based on individual details.

One way or another, verbal altercations should be avoided - they will only aggravate the situation. The best option in the fight against rude parents is to become independent as soon as possible, capable of self-sufficiency, in order to live your own life without moral terror.

Causes of aggression

Intemperance and rudeness arise for a reason. It is provoked by the following factors:

model of behavior formed in the family;
cooling of feelings;
failure to meet the ideal;
emotional and sexual dissatisfaction;
the appearance of a mistress;
lack of attention from the wife;
loss of respect caused by a woman’s sloppiness and behavior;
low self-esteem and the desire to establish oneself by voicing shortcomings.

To maintain warm relationships, psychologists recommend resorting to proven techniques.

Husband against providing for a married daughter: how not to ruin your relationship with him and help a young family

How to react to your husband’s rudeness and insults?

Reacts to her husband's rudeness and insults
If rudeness in transport or at work can still be tolerated, then what should you do if it comes from your husband every day? How to react to your husband's rudeness and insults? In this case, you should not leave rudeness unpunished. Successful attempts at energy vampirism will only inspire a man - and he, considering the girl his property, will become rude much more often.

But you don’t always need to respond with rudeness:

The husband may move on to more radical measures.
To begin with, it is worth developing the “metal dome technique”.
You should imagine yourself covered with it - your partner’s offensive phrases seem to bounce off the “canopy” and do not penetrate the soul.

The second stage is awareness of the cause. Even a notorious tyrant will not resort to rudeness just like that. There must be some reason for this. Trying to understand them is a great move in the struggle for understanding. Often, tyrant husbands grow up from unhappy children who were abused in childhood. Accustomed to getting their way only from a position of strength and aggression, such men believe that it is impossible to achieve respect through harmless methods.

The opposite must be proven:

Make your husband understand that the best way to find consensus is a calm conversation, the ability to listen and hear each other.
It is also important to make a man think that aggression is not a way to vent emotions.
This is the wrong way. Taking out anger on loved ones is the last thing.

Ways to respond to husband's insults:

You should not try to change your spouse - this is a utopia . Accepting it “as it is” and gaining understanding minimizes conflicts.
Don't be angry at advice. Even if your husband is being “clever” not on the point, you should politely thank him or say that you will think about the proposal. This option will avoid anger. Let a man think that his opinion is truly authoritative if it calms him down.
Distance. If things have gone too far, it is important to be able to rebuff your husband. You should not tolerate insults and beatings. It is worth explaining that if these events are repeated, this will be followed by a statement to the police, recording of dialogues, and involvement of the relevant authorities. The boor must understand that such actions will not go unpunished. Even if he does not stop this behavior, he will certainly think about the possible risks.
A rude husband is still a loving person. It is worth finding out the cause of the conflicts and working together to resolve the issues.
Long pauses - often they give confidence to words and show seriousness of intentions.
At one level , you shouldn’t start screaming and fall into hysterics.

A boorish husband should not be given any slack. But open war will only worsen the situation. It is important to understand the reasons for his dissatisfaction, draw conclusions, and correct the situation.

Can love help?

If spouses love each other, and the woman knows exactly what causes her lover’s aggression, experts advise doing the following:

Return good for evil. In response to offensive words, show affection so that he is ashamed to attack. If we repeat this pattern of behavior several times, the husband will stop behaving rudely.
In those moments when insults are pouring in, sincerely tell your beloved that it hurts you to listen to this from the dearest person in the world.
Do not take actions that cause negativity. Of course, if these actions are not vital.
Try to present information correctly. For example, you were promoted. When talking about this, say that only next to such a wonderful person were you able to achieve such heights.
Create comfortable conditions for your lover , justifying your actions by the fact that you want him to be happy next to you.
Psychologists advise to be tactful in conversations about his habits, tastes and surroundings.

Take the test and find out what your chances are of getting your husband back

How to elegantly respond to a man's rudeness as a lady?

You can elegantly respond to a man’s rudeness like a lady.
If it’s easy and simple for men to respond to rudeness, then getting out of this situation with dignity is a real art for a polite woman. How can you not give in to a rude man, but remain a real lady? How to elegantly respond to a man’s rudeness? Here are the tips:

Agree - this method is suitable for people whom the girl sees for the first and last time and for social networks. It is worth remembering Abraham Lincoln. One day a man came up to him and mockingly asked: “Oh, you clean your shoes, really?” . To which the politician replied: “Yes, I’m cleaning it. Whose shoes are you cleaning? .
Show honesty - you can answer any taunt: “Yes, I know perfectly well that you want to hook me. But I don’t give a damn about your opinion . Another approach is also possible: “I know that you want to hurt me. Why are you doing it?" - however, it is less profitable, because it will give the boor the ground for further attacks and barbs.
Intellectual aikido is to agree with a boor, bringing his position to the point of absurdity. You can always find something to answer. But you need to answer in such a way that the offender subsequently looks funny and absurd. Of course, the latter requires wit. But a real lady should always have it in stock.
Self-esteem - a real lady always knows her worth. She is able to turn any joke into an even bigger joke, so that the boor has no choice but to retreat back home.

As for the prohibitions that are relevant for a real lady, these are emotions, retaliatory aggression, irritability, vulnerability and gentleness. Conducting yourself with dignity is the foundation.

The rude person lacks good manners and sense of tact

Some are not ready to accept the fact that there are rules of behavior and morality in the world. Rudes simply do not imagine that it is possible to behave civilly; they only have offensive remarks in their arsenal. Let's look at how to respond to rudeness in a civilized and elegant manner.

How to get out of a situation wisely: universal techniques

“Insistent Politeness”

You need to speak to the offender politely and civilly. You don’t have to try to recharge your energy or provoke him, such methods will not work. In this case, only goodwill will be effective. The interlocutor does not hear the responses and continues to argue? Calmly and reasonably explain your position, raise your voice a little. The conflict will end due to the fact that the opponent will not be ready for your reaction, because he is waiting for negativity, not politeness.

Example dialogue:

Seller: “You take too long to choose. Will you take anything? If not, leave the store." Buyer: “Please show me this other product.” Seller: “Are you leaving the store or not?” Buyer (louder): “I asked to show another product.”

“Boringness”

This technique will be useful for administrators of groups or forums on the Internet. Such people often face insults from members who violate community rules. When boors are blocked, they continue to defend their rights in private messages of administrators.

Tired of listening to disgruntled rude people? Calmly explain what they were guilty of. Speak dryly, without emotion. Show that you are indifferent to the insulting phrases of boors, and they will quickly leave you alone.

Example dialogue:

Participant: “Why did you ban me? I didn’t violate anything, do I now have no right to be in your group? Who needs it? Administrator: “Read the community rules. You violated clause 7, for which you are rightly banned.” Participant: “I didn’t do what it says! You made up these useless rules yourself.” Administrator: “Your ban has been extended because you insult not only group members, but also administrators.”

“Shocking”

To pacify the offender, you can try to distract him by shocking him with an inappropriate phrase. The next time you hear an insult, say something illogical to your opponent, for example: “How do you like this book? I’ve been wanting to read it for a long time.”

In this case, other techniques will work well: “Humor”, “Psychological Aikido”, “Statement”.

Sharp phrases in response to insults

“I don’t really want to continue the conversation after your answers.”
“Very interesting, I appreciated your joke”
“Alas, your answer is not particularly original.”
“Okay, I appreciate your wit.”
“Are you trying to impersonate someone? I don't like your role models."
“Very fun” (end the dialogue after this)
“You are so attentive to me”
“Your answer is pretty mediocre, but at least you tried to be witty.”

The best ways to be calm and not nervous in any situation

“How do you react to people’s rudeness”: how do people answer this question in ASC?

“How do you react to people’s rudeness” - people answer “I ignore”
Trolling on the Internet is a common phenomenon. That is why 99% of people and users of Aska , who have more or less “pumped up” profiles, unanimously answer the question: “How do you react to people’s rudeness?” - . ”

The point here is not at all a matter of weakness of character and cowardice.
“Askers” are confident that they assert themselves through rudeness on the Internet - only weak, unhappy people who, in reality, would not dare to say something bad to their face.
You should treat trolls like sick children - with understanding and sympathy.
To indulge in mutual insults is, to say the least, stupid.

However, visitors to “Ask” still allow for the human factor and agree that sometimes even they “break down” and can get upset because of rudeness, or enter into a discussion with a troll, wasting their time and nerves. In general, even at Asuka everything depends on the situation. In one case, the boor can and should be put in his place, in another, he can be banned and ignored.

How to behave if your husband is abusive

Before you make a decision, you need to understand:

The reason for rude behavior.
Is there respect, love in the relationship and will it be better without it?
How frequent are conflict situations?
Does your husband have complexes and does he copy the behavior model?
Are the insults mutual?
In what state are insults poured from the lips of the faithful: sober or drunk?

How to respond to schoolchildren's rudeness?

We need to respond to the rudeness of schoolchildren.
Children are very often cruel. Often parents and school teachers suffer from their rudeness and aggression. What to do in this case? How to respond to schoolchildren's rudeness? Here are some tips for teachers:

Calmness - aggression in response to aggression only provokes children. The best thing is to try to talk with the rebel as an equal.
Understanding the situation - the child is rude for a reason, he has a specific goal. You should find out what he is trying to achieve and work out a wise way out of the situation.
Mutual respect - many adults make the mistake of underestimating children and not taking their opinions into account. It is important to give the child an understanding that he can express his position as an adult, independent, civilized person. Adults (if he wants to seem like one) solve problems not with screams and hysterics, but with calm dialogue. You should also explain to the student that mutual insults are not the best way out of the situation. It makes more sense to discuss any issue with dignity.
The ability to stand up for oneself - just as schoolchildren choose the weakest child in the class to troll, so too kind or vulnerable adults are chosen for moral pressure. As soon as the child understands that an adult knows his worth and does not give in to provocations, he will moderate his ardor. Perhaps he will want to go to peace.

Alas, it is not always the case that a boorish child is able to conduct an adequate dialogue and hear at least some arguments. In the case of an uncontrollable student, desperate teachers should seek help from other school employees, try to gain control over the young person through parents, a psychologist, etc. Good luck!

Man's personality

The next important reason for psychological violence, which is expressed in insults and abuse, may be the personality of the man himself. If a man is a narcissist, then he is simply unable to take responsibility for others, he is deeply selfish and self-centered.

During the period of courtship and conquest of a woman, he managed to hide this side of his nature. Now, feeling that he has achieved everything, he begins to terrorize the woman with his nagging, his statements that everyone owes him.

Or maybe aggression in the family compensates for failures at work. There he restrains himself, not daring to contradict his superiors and colleagues, but at home he gives vent to all the negative things that have accumulated during the day.

It happens that a woman occupies a higher social position than her husband. Here, insults and abuse are manifestations of elementary envy. He seems to show that, although his wife has achieved success in her career, he is the master of the house and can shout and insult.

When you shouldn't try to save your family

When all attempts to establish relationships with the beloved have failed , if a loved one says to his face that he no longer loves. It is the lack of tender feelings that underlies such behavior. There is no need to show concern and try to change the situation. By groveling before your beloved, you will only cause disgust and pity.
The spouse shows disrespect from the first day we met. By marrying such a person, many girls believe that they are able to influence their life partner and, over time, remake him to suit themselves. But in reality, things are only getting worse. The aggressor cannot be changed; the situation is only getting worse.
The husband only shows aggression when he is drunk. In no case should one justify insults under the influence of the “green serpent.” The time will come when humiliation will turn into physical violence. There is no need to cast your lot in with an alcoholic.