What can you write to your ex after a breakup?

When it comes to correspondence with your ex, text messages can work in your favor, but only if you use this method of communication wisely.

It is especially important to pay attention to what to write to your ex-boyfriend in order to interest him and make him return. Of course, you can’t say a magic phrase after which he will crawl back. The perfect text sent at the right time is what will pave the way to success.

Texting your ex does pose a risk that he will reject you or simply not respond. For this reason, be mentally prepared for any development of events, especially if the guy left you. If you feel that you will not be able to endure negative scenarios after you write to your guy, then first devote more time to working on yourself before taking such a difficult step.

What you can and cannot write

First of all, let's talk about what you can and cannot write to your ex-boyfriend:

You cannot write while intoxicated. This is always a very bad idea. On a sober head, you will regret this action.
Don't do it just because you're lonely. You need to make sure that your ex is the right person, and the relationship will be different this time.
Get rid of excessive emotionality. Men are not prone to emotionally difficult conversations. This means don't send him messages like, “I can't stop crying. I don't know how to live without you.” This will only push the ex away and reduce the chances of returning.
Don't start a fight to get attention. Even if you get an answer, the conversation will definitely go in the wrong direction in the end.
Obsessiveness. If he doesn't respond, then just leave the man alone. There is no need to write millions of times: “Are you there? Hello???? Why don't you answer me?? Something happened? Just answer so I know you’re alive!” If a person doesn’t answer, it means he doesn’t want to do it. Is it worth causing additional irritation and humiliating yourself, especially when he abandoned you. You can read more about the signs that your ex wants to come back in our separate article.

What can you write to your ex-boyfriend after a breakup?

If you are at fault:

My happiness only has your face.
With our parting, all the stars in the sky went out for me. Without you I wander in the dark.
I have only one desire left - to go back to the past and correct what happened. Alas, it will never come true.
By losing you, I lost a part of myself.
There are no ideal people. If you could forgive me, I would prove how strong my feelings are for you.

Do you remember how we... (walked in the park, loved to lie on the sofa together, roller skated). I really miss this.
Separation from you is the worst punishment for my actions. I still hope that you will come back.
I realized that I don't want to do 3 things. 1) to be separated from you; 2) fall asleep without you; 3) drink coffee in the morning alone.

I thought that after parting, the love in my heart for you would fade away. But it's the other way around. The flames grew so hot that it became difficult to breathe without you.

I wish I could take back all the pain I caused you. After all, you are the most dear person in the world to me.

Here's what else you can write to a guy to make him understand that you need him.

If your ex-boyfriend is to blame, here’s what you can write to him after the breakup:

Let's start all over again? Without quarrels, tears, insults, omissions and reproaches.
Recently I was going through my things and saw a photo of us together. We are so happy with it. Maybe we should try to find happiness together again?
I saw your favorite candies in the store. I immediately thought of you and bought them. Would you like to pop in for a cup of tea and discuss a truce?
I no longer have the strength to be offended or angry with you. There is only strength for love or friendship. What do you think about that?
It turns out that watching a movie alone on the couch is not as interesting as watching it with you. We urgently need to make peace!
Do you remember how it was when you were a child? Make up, make up, and don’t fight anymore... let’s make up for the last time, and if you mess up, I’ll bite you?
I love myself the way I was next to you: happy and loved. If there is even a slight chance of repeating everything, let me know.
I've prepared a truce dinner! I also bought a bottle of truce wine and truce fruit! I propose to bury the hatchet and move on to negotiations at the table. Agree?

If you feel as bad without me as I do without you, call me.

They say that from love to hate there is one step... But I have only love for you, no matter what.

Alternatively, try beautiful poems to touch his heart...

“No contact” rule

In order to understand when you can write to your ex after a breakup, follow an important rule - wait a period without any contact. As a rule, this is at least four weeks.

You cannot text, call or communicate during this period.

It doesn't matter if it's the guy's birthday, whether he's made any positive changes in his life, etc. No contact means no contact.

Why is this point so important? The period of no contact gives him the opportunity to get bored, which he cannot do if you are always looming in front of his nose or blowing up his phone or social networks with messages. Four weeks of no communication can also help you get rid of the intensity of emotions after a breakup and gain a clearer understanding of what happened.

After this period of no contact, if your ex hasn't texted himself, then you can make contact through whatever means you want. Text messages are usually the easiest and safest method.

The exception to the “no contact” rule is tragic events. You can write to your ex for support, but be very careful and not verbose.

The text options below are good ways to reconnect or get people thinking about you in a more romantic way, but only after a four-week period of no communication. This is a must!

Simple reasons why girls write to their exes

If, after breaking up with a man, your head is filled with thoughts about what to write to your ex in order to get the relationship back, then you must first understand what exactly you want to achieve with your action. Why do you need to return him or will friendly communication with him be enough? Decide on this point before writing a message.

Girls decide to write to their former lovers first for the following reasons:

your relationship ended somehow wrong;
you still miss your ex-man;
according to astrologers, you are ideally compatible;
perhaps the alcohol that affected you is to blame;
desire to correct mistakes;

3 important steps

which every woman should go through

Anika Snagovskaya

Author and presenter of women's trainings on harmonizing feminine energy. Master of removing limiting beliefs and master of constellations.

I have prepared three lessons for you that will help you better understand yourself, remove the restrictions that prevent you from feeling loved and living happily.

Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity

You will learn about 5 female states that exist in every woman, how they manifest themselves and which archetypes are most manifested in you and which are not developed.

Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships

I’ll tell you what you need to do to free your heart from old feelings and break the energy threads connecting you with your past partner.

Audio recording: Neuro-af

Thanks to this neuro-affirmation, you can regain self-love and feel sincere gratitude and happiness for every day.

Top 3 useful materials that will help you know yourself better

And start a new, happy life for yourself.

Video lesson with meditation: 5 states of femininity

Video lesson + meditation: How to let go of past relationships

Audio recording: Neuro-af

Take your gifts!

When writing a message to your ex-lover, consider the following:

the text must be correctly structured;
you need to decide whether you really need it or not.

Don't forget to mention in your message his good character traits for which you valued him so much. Men are not indifferent to such words. But there is no need to write about love.

Happiness and ease

Men love happy women. When you feel good, they enjoy being around you and talking to you. When a girl is always negative and emotionally unbalanced, then men prefer to stay on the sidelines.

There is nothing more attractive than a positive and happy woman.

Be sure to keep this in mind if you want to text your ex.

Just one little happy and light-hearted text can do wonders. It will also show the guy that it is safe to approach you. Perhaps the ex wanted to write the first one himself, but was not sure that you were in any good mood. With a happy, carefree text, you show that you have gone through all the terrible emotions and are ready for a new life.

Starting a conversation with your ex-boyfriend with vague or banal formulations, such as: “How are you? What are you doing?" - it’s not worth it. This may make your ex a little wary of the conversation. He doesn’t know whether you are friendly or going to start a scandal. The best way to re-ignite the spark is to recall a shared positive experience. This will direct the conversation in the right direction and have a more positive tone.

The message should show that you are thinking about the past, but not necessarily about your ex specifically. That you don’t cry into your pillow every night, thinking about him, but continue to live, and only sometimes some things remind you of the past. Or, for example, you think about some happy memory and feel comfortable discussing it with your ex.

For example, you could write something like: “Hi. I just wanted to know if you ever tried bungee jumping, which we looked at recently. I tried it and really liked it! I recommend."

Comments:

15.07.2019
Olga:
I wrote to mine: “My whole life has turned into a silent black and white movie without you.” The guy was shocked by my grief. But he told about it long after the reconciliation.
17.07.2019
Lina:
You only need to return your loved one if you broke up with your boyfriend because of your mistake, and not because of constant quarrels. Try to show that you can be trusted and will change. Gifts and “sweet” words will not help here.
22.07.2019
Diana:
Much depends on the reason for the separation, if the banal: “We don’t get along,” then you shouldn’t write anything to him at all, erase the number, forget. It’s another matter, as sometimes happens, out of stupidity, if you quarreled over something (for the first time). Let me put it simply - with true love, no words are needed, everything will become clear (by the look).
13.08.2019
Elena:
Read also: The man in the family. The role of a man in the family - what a husband should do
If a guy behaved unworthily, then he has no reason to write such poetry. And if you quarrel out of stupidity, which often happens, then you can try to get it back...
25.08.2019
Karina:
Many of these SMS are very touching. We love our guys for the feeling of happiness around them. Yes, and they give us the same))
29.08.2019
Kate:
If he is to blame, then write that you are leaving for Sochi, where you are going to have fun. Let him bite your elbows!
05.01.2020
Elena:
My beloved and I met at school, but we broke up due to his stupid jealousy and my resentment. I constantly thought and remembered how great it was together. Everyone said it was nonsense, get it out of your head. And I couldn't forget. 10 years have passed since the breakup, and I wrote to him on social networks. And all without words. We confessed our feelings to each other. Then we met. And all without words. And incredibly happy together)

Intriguing

The best thing you can do after a breakup is to work on yourself, making yourself a better person. If everything remains exactly the same, then the former partner will not be ready to restore the relationship.

You need to change the way the guy sees you. An intriguing message will help with this.

This type of text shows that you are a better version of the person you once were. That is, you get outside more, exercise, travel, live your best life. This type of woman really captures a man's attention.

Mention something interesting you did or saw recently that reminded you of a funny thing you did with your ex.

These texts will arouse his interest:

Is she a runner now?
When did she become so passionate about fitness? She looks simply amazing...
Did she go on vacation? And with whom? Maybe she was with a guy?

An intriguing message will make a man think about you in a new way, which means it will shake his confidence in his decisions.

What should you not write in a farewell letter?

Many women make the same mistake when breaking up with men - leaving the door open. You should not give a person false hopes. If you decide to say goodbye, say it firmly. In a farewell letter there is no place for the phrases “I will feel bad without you,” “I may regret my decision,” or “Who knows if our destinies will unite again.”

Yes, breaking up is hard, especially if you made such a decision after a long relationship, but a farewell letter to a guy whose love has passed should be a full stop, not an ellipsis.

Emphasis on nostalgia

People will always idealize what they no longer have. This is a natural process that will work in your favor after a breakup. If you don’t know what to write to your ex-boyfriend, then remind him of happy times. This powerful tool activates feelings of longing for you.

For example, write the following: “I remember one cool night at the top of our cliff... you kept me warm, holding me in your arms. It was a pleasure."

How to offend a guy with a message?

Are you still waiting for an answer from your loved one? He promised to call in five minutes an hour ago? Are you upset that this is not the first time this situation has happened? Or maybe he just left after you quarreled once again, contemptuously muttering another insult through his teeth? Or even worse - you don’t know how to stir him up, make him less cold and indifferent? Write him a message that could touch him!

It is an indisputable fact that men are less emotional than women. They attach much less importance to words, preferring to prove their rightness by deeds. They don't understand how important it can be to hear something from them, to feel an emotional response, to make sure that you are still loved. Often they have to be provoked to release emotions in not entirely pleasant ways - scandals, hysterics, offensive or catchy SMS... In the fight for relationships, like in war, all means are good!

However, many girls, in principle, do not accept too much emotional pressure on a man. Screaming and quarreling, even just raising the tone is considered by them a sign of disrespect for themselves and the guy. In this case, the only thing left for them as a “supporting circle” is a biting, tenacious word. One SMS or VKontakte message can make a guy nervous, worried, suffer, or vice versa - make him like him, interest him, excite him, awaken some tender feelings. How to do all this? How to learn to subjugate guys with words? About this in our article!

What to write to a guy that will hurt him?

The main advice that can be given to girls who want to pleasantly surprise a guy and interest him is to be straightforward, but mysterious, sweet, but dangerous, funny, but a little sad... In general, your goal is to create a contradictory image and a double impression. A man should think: “What is this beauty really like?” If he asks himself this question, that’s it, you can assume that the matter is in the bag.

So, here are some tips you can give to girls who want to pleasantly interest a young man:

Don't be afraid to write first.

How to hurt a guy?

It largely depends on what kind of relationship you are in . If you have been together for a long time, then you know all his weak points and can easily put pressure on them. For example, your boyfriend is jealous. You can use this beautifully in a short SMS: “You had reasons to do this to me. But don’t worry – there is someone to console me.” On the one hand, your mother, sister, friend can console you... But the imagination of a jealous person will not picture this at all, which is right in your favor!
answering the question he often poses to you in the heat of a quarrel via SMS For example, he constantly asks you: “Why are you asking me questions if you don’t want to listen to the answers?” If you write him an SMS with something like this: “You know, I often ask you about everything, hoping for the best option. But your answers are killing our relationship and I don’t want to accept them.” Tapping into what a person cares about emotionally will ensure you know what they think and feel about your SMS.
After a stormy quarrel with shouting, mutual accusations and broken dishes, a romantic SMS with a hint of sadness works very well. For example, “Then you didn’t yell at me. And for every tear I shed, you were ready to die. What have we done with our love? Where did those feelings go? The main thing is don’t blame the guy. Your task is to bring back memories of old times, and not make him feel guilty. He himself will think and repent, the main thing is to avoid a moralizing tone in the SMS.
Use code words and sentences in SMS that are used by your couple. Comic nicknames, phrases from videos we watched together... This method is very good when you need to hook a guy after a long, protracted quarrel, a “cold war”. Your “family” phrases are guaranteed to melt the ice of his heart.

As for general recommendations - don't be nervous . Write such an SMS when the resentment has already cooled down, the emotions have calmed down. You are a surgeon, your task is to hone your message so that it strongly engages the recipient.

What definitely should not be in your message:

rudeness and insults;
mat;
accusations of sexual incompetence;
accusations of physical imperfections;
whining and snot, lengthy regrets about the past;
phrases a la “I will drown myself, hang myself, shoot myself, go without a hat into the cold night”;
the phrase “I'm pregnant” if it is not true. Do not write this under any circumstances - it will not be forgiven.

Control yourself and choose expressions that suit the situation. And try to wait some time after a quarrel - this way the information will be better perceived. Immediately in hot pursuit, we perceive information differently than with a fresh mind.

Now you know what you need to write to a guy to make him hurt. But what if this guy is an ex? This is written below.

We're friends now

This is an extremely dangerous type of message, so use it with caution. After all, you may end up in the friend zone forever.

For example, send: “Hey... just wanted to say that I'm glad it's over, but I'd be really sorry to lose our friendship.”

This is a good option because the balance of power shifts from the guy to you. Instead of your ex thinking you still want to get back, you say you just want to be friends. This way you can end up having fun with him again... and then re-seduce him!

Examples of phrases to make a guy smile

The phrase can be sexual or casual in nature.

Men like initiative from a woman

You can send a message in the middle of the workday or on a trip, when the guy least expects it.

Use humor: “Darling, do you know that in order to smile, a person needs to use about seventy muscles? I suggest you pump them up right now!”
Emphasize that you feel bad without him: “I miss you and your morning coffee. Thank you for a great start to the day!” or “I wish I could quickly return home and find myself in your warm arms...”.
Intrigue a man, make him look forward to a date: “Tonight you will not only have a delicious dinner, but also an interesting night program. Come back quickly, and I’ll take a shower...”
Remind that you are worried about your lover and will always support him: “Good morning! May this day be rich and bright, I am nearby.”
Give your man an original compliment: “I love your dimples when you smile. Smile now, come on!”

You can also use funny pictures and videos, but for this it is important to know about the tastes and sense of humor of your man.

Calling out jealousy

Jealousy plays a huge role and often attracts an old love back. Sometimes this is the only way to make a man understand how much he misses his ex-girlfriend.

Many people say that trying to make your ex jealous is an effective strategy. Honestly, this is a very tricky and at the same time very dangerous option that can lead to disaster.

Jealousy should not be used if the ex-boyfriend is insecure, extremely emotional, or jealous.

The message could be: “Hi! Everything was wonderful last night. You looked amazing!”

Keep in mind that you can only send this message after you have already written to your ex in a pleasant manner and feel good mutual understanding between you.

If you changed...

Female infidelity has long been included in the 7 deadly sins for modern society. Therefore, you have to pay much harder. If a man is unfaithful, many may complain about his male freedom or midlife crisis, and in general, they have forgotten and forgiven. Then, if the wife turned out to be unfaithful, everyone who finds out about the offense will be branded with shame and dissuade the betrothed from reconciliation.

In this case, you should act wisely, weighing your actions and words. In order for him to still consider the sincerity of his repentance and eventually return, his beloved should write a sincere, long and piercing letter as a farewell, here are a few examples:

“In all family troubles, both are always to blame. But not in this situation. This is entirely my fault, my mistake and my sin. I succumbed to my emotions, and after that there was not a minute that I did not regret what I had done. It hurts me to breathe, realizing with each awakening that you are not with me and cannot forgive me. Accept my repentance and know that I love you with all my heart.”
“My mistake has taken everything from me, the air that I breathe, the earth that gives me support, the water that saves me from thirst. But I am ready to accept all these hardships, if only you would be near me again. Having stumbled, the criminal receives a prison sentence. So tell me, how much is measured out for me? I love you and am ready to wait for your forgiveness.”
“I am very sorry that I made you suffer. Every day before going to bed and immediately after waking up, I reproach myself for my mistake. Guilt in front of you does not allow me to move, breathe and feel this world again. Please listen to me, give me a chance to fix everything. I love you!"

Request for advice

As you know, men are creatures who want to help the weaker sex both physically and mentally. For this reason, ask him for advice on some topic that your ex-boyfriend understands. Feeling useful has been shown to relieve feelings of stress in men, and communicating with an ex-girlfriend can be a challenging time.

For example: “Hello! I decided to take up music, but I don’t know which guitar is better to choose. Can you give me some advice?

The ex-boyfriend will feel great at the time of reading, as this is a confirmation of his expertise in this matter. But this option won’t work if you just come up with something that you don’t need at all. If a man catches you in a lie, then the chance will be lost.

Where to start a farewell letter?

Every letter should begin with an appeal, and you should not ignore it, it is this that makes our message personalized. You should not start a letter with the phrases “Hello, bunny” or “Hello, dear!” Remember that you are saying goodbye, you should not mislead the man, because he is already your ex, well, and exes are not called that. The best option is to address him by name.

Don't be too formal and avoid cliches, the letter is personal.

Messages are not a magic pill.

Of course, SMS and messages on social networks make it possible to establish a connection with your ex, even if it was he who left you. The text gives a huge advantage, because you can:

think about the answer;
discuss things that are difficult to talk about in person.

But don’t expect that after writing just a couple of messages, your ex-boyfriend will immediately be on his knees at your door asking you to take him back. A constant dialogue should be created between you over some time. There is no need to rush in this matter; on the contrary, try to get to know your ex again, as if you had just met.

Progressive movements towards each other will help build contact, and most importantly, understand whether it is worth starting a relationship with your ex after a breakup.

If they leave you...

It is more painful and offensive to find yourself in the role of an abandoned party. The more you want to be collected, proud and desired at the moment of parting. Here are some options that will tell you what to say to a guy when breaking up so that he regrets:

“You deserve a kind, sweet and shy girl. I am completely different, purposeful and strong. Therefore, it is good that our paths diverge. Goodbye!"
“Initially, I was not ready to build a future together with you! But your persistence prevailed... And what came of it?”
“Leave quickly and don’t look back! Everything will be great for you, I wish you happiness!”
“I respect your decision! It really will be better for us separately. Although I am still in love with you..."
“Don’t blame yourself for anything, none of us are perfect. If you want to leave, go, I won’t keep you...”
“Thank you for the time we spent together, but you’re right, we’d be better off apart!”
“You were right when you said that we have little in common. And I kept thinking that opposites attract. It's time to part ways."
“Our love was too ideal to turn into infinity. Thank you for the days spent together"
“I’m sad and hurt not because we’re breaking up. But because you still found a reason to break up. But I still wish you happiness.”

The main thing is to be sincere, but not to show the withering negativity pressing from within. Pleas, threats, accusations will be unnecessary in any case. They won’t keep him and won’t return him, but at the same time they will become a reason to isolate himself from any contacts, or even a topic for jokes among his friends. Pride and self-sufficiency must come to the fore.

SMS to a guy to get him hooked and interested

Young girls in the initial stages of dating are wondering how to increase a guy’s interest.

To do this, you can use phrases that will hook a man and make him feel feelings for you:

“You know, since our last meeting I realized something about you, it turns out that you are not who you say you are.” This message will make him think a lot about you.
"Hello! Did you happen to study at school number..., maybe you are familiar with...? I’ve been looking for him for a long time.” In this way, you will unobtrusively start a dialogue, even if you do not have mutual acquaintances.
“I have a gift for you that will delight you this winter. Would you like to know which one?"
“I urgently need your help! Can you help me choose a dress for the evening? I’ll send you the options now.” This is a rather bold option for girls, but this way you will raise the guy’s self-esteem, because of all other men, it is his opinion that is important to you.
“Can you tell me which gym you go to? You look amazing!". Guys love compliments on their figure.
"Hello! I noticed you yesterday, don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

When is it worth going for reconciliation?

To decide whether to reunite with your lover, you should answer a few questions honestly:

In a disagreement, did the guy insult you harshly or hit you?
Do you often fight in your relationship?
Does your lover abuse alcohol?
Letting a guy talk ignorantly in front of other people with you?
Cheating with someone else?

If the answer to two questions is “Yes,” then you should think wisely about returning the person. Perhaps your love is walking somewhere nearby. In case of negative answers, you should try to correct the situation and return the guy .