If every time you try to start a conversation with the girl you like you experience a feeling of constraint and fear, then this material is definitely for you.
Many guys feel awkward and don’t know how and what to talk about with the fair sex. Whether it's dating in real life or on the Internet. Although in reality there is nothing terrible here. The tips below will help hone your skills when communicating with girls and teach you how to get your way.
Preparation process
When preparing for an acquaintance, you need to do the following:
Get in the right mood. A good mood and confidence in success are important conditions for obtaining a positive result.
Tidy up your appearance . A girl’s general impression of a man’s appearance is based on the style of his clothing, hairstyle, cleanliness and well-groomed body (condition of hair, nails, teeth, etc.). When it comes to clothing, it is important to adhere to standard norms - not to dress up too much, but also not to look unkempt.
All things should be clean, stylish, and fit well. The smell is especially important - it should be pleasant. Even an attractive man who smells of sweat can immediately scare off his interlocutor.
Decide on a search location . You need to choose a suitable place and time. It is best to start communicating in the daytime or earlier in the evening in crowded places. This could be a cafe, cinema, park, street, nightclub, transport, etc. Daylight hours and a large number of people around significantly reduce the risk that the selected applicant will refuse to enter into a dialogue due to fear.
Outline a rough plan . It is impossible to plan the entire process of talking with a girl down to the smallest detail, but it is advisable to adhere to a certain strategy. It is important for a guy to understand for what purpose he is meeting, what type of clothing to choose, how much money to take for communication in the chosen place.
For those who are embarrassed to meet people in person, you can use the Internet. Find out the secrets of dating on Vkontakte and Skype: what is better to write and what questions to ask.
What to avoid
A man needs:
- demonstrate positive behavior. Positive emotions involuntarily attract. Even if a woman feels physically tired, communicating on a positive note will improve her gloomy mood. The girl will quickly find peace of mind. The friendliness, openness and tact of the interlocutor will be some of the reasons for the desire to see him again;
- Don't show too much interest. In this case, the interest of an unfamiliar girl may quickly fade;
- don't show sadness. A man’s words should convey obvious joy from meeting an unfamiliar attractive girl;
- clearly understand your goals in communicating with a girl. It can be either just sex or a serious relationship.
Behavior
Behavior during acquaintance should be natural, confident and at the same time restrained. Any girl prefers to see in her boyfriend, first of all, a real man with whom she will feel calm and reliable.
Such a desire is inherent in nature - the female chooses the most successful male. But it is important not to go too far - excessive arrogance and swagger will only push you away.
When trying to act confident, it is important to remain natural. If by nature a man is calm and modest, then feigned gaiety and liveliness will look stupid and repulsive. Anyone can be confident, regardless of their temperament.
The manner of behavior should be slightly different depending on what type of applicant you choose to meet. This can be determined by her appearance, gait, gaze, manner of speaking (the first couple of phrases are enough).
There are three main types of girls:
- Simple . They have a pleasant soft voice, feminine manners, a kind and honest look, an open smile, simple clothes and hairstyle. It is necessary to begin communication with such interlocutors in a welcoming and friendly manner, trying to arouse sympathy. It is important not to rush things. They love calm conversations on general topics.
- Bitches. This type is the most attractive to men, but also more difficult to make acquaintances with.
Such women are distinguished by self-confidence, sexual attractiveness, a sharp tongue, and the ability to communicate with the opposite sex. They make certain demands on men and clearly know what they want.With this type you need to behave confidently, try to show your own importance, but also give them the opportunity to express themselves in conversation.
- Spoiled . These representatives of the fair sex are distinguished by external gloss, arrogance and self-confidence. They always have expensive clothes, perfect appearance and a bored look. Such girls view a man as prey who will satisfy all their needs. You can win over this type of interlocutor with truly self-confident and assertive behavior. At the same time, it is important to point out your good financial situation and career successes, even if this is not the case.
Next, let's talk about where to start meeting girls.
Several methods for maintaining further dialogue
After a successful start, you should not give up and continue the conversation. You need to conduct the conversation very tactfully and try not to interrupt the girl, listening to her to the end. Dialogue is built on mutual communication; some men, out of excitement, begin to talk about themselves, not allowing their interlocutor to insert words. Only mutual exchange of information contributes to a good time.
In cases where a girl is silent, this often happens; she may also be shocked by the attention, or simply embarrassed. In this case, it is better to build a dialogue in this way - at the end of each of your sentences, insert a logical question, this will give her the opportunity to get used to you and start asking herself.
The choice of topic is a very important point; not everyone is ready to openly talk about themselves in the first minutes of meeting each other. Unobtrusive topics about interests and hobbies are best suited for sudden acquaintance.
There are many other areas that can be covered, such as:
- Culinary preferences;
- Funny incidents from life;
- Culture and artistic works;
- Musical directions;
- New films.
And much more.
Many girls are lonely and have no one to talk to, so if she herself continued a certain topic, stick to it. But you shouldn’t invent fairy tales if you don’t understand at all what she’s talking about: it’s better to be open and tell her about it and quietly move the conversation into a direction that’s more familiar to you. This way you can show yourself as not an arrogant know-it-all who is trying to show off his intelligence in any situation. Avoid negative topics of communication, usually these are topics related to religion or political views. People are very different and at first they can take ridicule of their views very seriously, leave such conversations for a later time.
Let us present you with a list of “dangerous” topics to talk about during your first conversation:
- Financial security;
- Sores and health problems;
- Various topics for purely male conversations;
- Old relationships.
It is important not only to express your thoughts beautifully, but also to give your companion the opportunity to speak out. By following these tips, you will be able to build a good dialogue and predispose the girl to your person. After a few minutes of communication, the girl will understand whether to continue dating you. Try to give the impression of a well-mannered and interesting interlocutor, and then you will definitely be able to meet again and continue the seduction.
What to talk about with a girl when meeting her?
There are a lot of options for first phrases for dating. A man needs to use those that are most convenient for him and suitable for a particular situation. All phrases are divided into three types, each of which has a certain effectiveness: contextual, directive, template.
Contextual phrases for girls are determined by situation, based on the results of observing the woman and the environment. This could be a remark regarding her appearance (it is especially effective to note the nuances of her appearance that clearly distinguish her from the majority), behavior, gait, an object in her hands, the environment, etc.
This approach is the most effective . Girls immediately begin to feel that the person is really interested in them and he is not addressing them with the standard wording.
Examples of contextual first phrases when meeting a girl:
- Tell me, is this street really the longest in the city?
- Do you know where the famous cafe with delicious ice cream is located in this park? Won't you keep me company?
- Let us shelter you from the rain. There is such a heavy downpour, and you are without an umbrella.
- You are already in a hurry to run errands so early in the morning. Perhaps you are a morning person?
- It's terribly hot today. Tell me, where did you buy this bottle of cold mineral water?
- What an original hairstyle you have! What is it called?
- Let me point out what amazing posture you have. Perhaps you are into dancing?
- Have you ever been told that you look like Sharon Stone (any other famous person with an attractive appearance)?
- Probably, walking in such high heels on icy conditions requires a lot of skill. How do you do this?
Directive phrases immediately confront a woman with the fact that they want to get to know her. They are less effective than contextual ones, since the likelihood of receiving an immediate and unambiguous refusal increases.
This approach should be used by self-confident, charming men with good appearance, who have a high chance of being liked at first sight.
What to say to a girl when meeting her - directive phrases:
- What are you doing tonight?
- Can I meet you?
- You are so pretty. What is your name?
- Let me ask for your phone number.
- How do you feel about socializing on the street (in a cafe, park, etc.)?
- Do you know that you are the girl of my dreams?
Template . By using pre-prepared template phrases, you can either ruin everything or achieve success. An important condition for the effective use of speech templates is taking into account two conditions: selecting the most suitable options for yourself, continuing communication in the key of the originally spoken words.
If a man speaks in a stereotyped manner, which is completely out of character for him, and then switches to his usual communication on completely different topics, then he is unlikely to achieve success.
Examples of template phrases on what to talk about when meeting a girl:
- Doesn't your mom need a good son-in-law?
- God, where did such beauty come from?
- Hello. I have always dreamed of meeting such a beautiful fairy like you.
- Don't you think we've met somewhere?
- Call an ambulance, I will lose consciousness from contemplating such beauty.
- You are so beautiful that I don’t even know how to start talking to you.
- Tell me, what is it like to be the most beautiful in the city?
- Tell me, is it difficult to meet you by chance?
Often the first phrase turns out to be the last, since the girl instantly rejects her boyfriend. The reason for this may be the presence of a permanent partner, the unattractive appearance of the applicant, distrust of random people they meet, problems and bad mood, fear, embarrassment, poorly chosen first wording.
In most cases, failure does not necessarily mean complete failure. The weaker sex loves confidence and determination in men. If you respond to the refusal received in a friendly, original and fun way, then the girl may change her mind. At the same time, it is important to monitor her reaction and not allow an aggressive attitude to appear, otherwise it is unlikely that anything will be changed.
Specific text of phrases in response to a refusal:
- You don't want to meet me because I'm ugly? It's not my fault, it's all genes. But I'm smart and kind.
- The answer “no” is not accepted. You just have to talk to me.
- You understand that I will not survive refusal. Take pity on the unfortunate one.
- I can see in your eyes that you want to talk to me, you’re just shy.
What words to start meeting a girl with:
You have the opportunity to find out where you can meet girls and how to do it on our website. We talk in detail about ways to meet people at universities, on the street, on public transport, at the skating rink, at school, and also in the gym. And if you need tips on communicating at work or in a nightclub, then we can help you too!
What should you talk about with a girl when you meet her and continue the conversation?
Correspondence on dating sites and instant messengers: features and differences
How to write to a girl on a dating site or a girl you already know? These are two completely different algorithms of action. And that's why:
The goal is the same - dating and sex, but the ways to achieve it will be completely different.
On a dating site, the algorithm looks something like this:
Interest → Like → Get a phone number → Date.
In any messenger the scheme is completely different.
If you have her phone number, then you already know each other. That is, you have already made your first impression on the girl. Therefore, your further communication is based on common interests, taking into account:
- Your wishes. What do you want to get in the end?
- Your busyness. How quickly can you see each other?
- Her residence. Does she live in your city or not?
Option one:
Maintaining contact → Date.
Option two:
Keeping in touch → Date.
Option three:
Warming up interest → Date.
Naturally, when you already know each other, it is easier to establish communication. On a dating site you will have to work hard to get what you want.
But communicating on websites has its advantages:
- You can think through every word in a conversation.
- Describe yourself only from the best side.
- Create the right impression.
In Viber/Telegram correspondence you will get to a date faster, but:
- You can't beat the first impression. And if you have shown yourself to be a dork, it will be extremely difficult to achieve a rendezvous.
- At the same time, if you already have the coveted CORRECT number, it means the girl liked you.
- Communication in messengers immediately adds pluses to your karma, that is, it removes the barrier of a stranger and increases the chance of getting laid on the first date.
I, Anton Glomozda, will tell you further how to write to a girl first in order to make her like you.
Continued communication
After overcoming the most difficult first stage of starting a conversation, you need to try to interest the girl in conversation. It is important to immediately make it clear that a decent and adequate young man simply decided to meet a passerby he liked.
In the first moments of a conversation, a woman usually doubts whether some scammer, drug addict, advertising distributor, etc. is pestering her. Therefore, an adequate and short explanation will be very helpful. For example: “I’m coming home from work, I saw you and decided to come up.”
When the barrier of mistrust has been overcome, you can begin the conversation. It is advisable to speak on general topics:
- Cinema, music. You can ask about your favorite films and actors, songs and performers, genres, frequency of going to the cinema, etc. More practical advice is written here.
- Cafes, bars, clubs. Favorite establishments, frequency of visits, purpose of trips, etc.
- Parks, squares, various city recreation areas . What type of leisure time is most attractive, what places are your favorite, what kind of company do you like to walk with (a large and noisy group of friends, alone, with a boyfriend, etc.).
- Relationship . You can find out about the criteria for choosing a guy, past relationships, degree of romanticism or pragmatism, etc.
- Miscellaneous . You can talk about anything - the weather, travel, animals, politics, social events, etc.
During a conversation, it is important to pay attention to the girl’s facial expressions and her reactions. If she is clearly uncomfortable with the topic of conversation, she needs to change it immediately. We wrote in detail about questions that can be asked in this article.
It is undesirable to talk about feelings for past lovers, about financial problems, about difficulties in the family, about the lack of career prospects, etc. Any mention of problems will immediately give the conversation a negative connotation.
Mentioning your ex will cause annoyance.
When meeting a young man, the interlocutor wants to learn as much as possible about him. Often you only need to answer the questions that come in, but if she is embarrassed to ask questions herself, you can think about what to tell about yourself. For example:
- Financial situation (income, car brand, real estate, career success, etc.).
- Relatives and friends (description of the circle of relatives and friends).
- Life position (character, goals, dreams, views, attitude towards people, expectations from a life partner, etc.).
The main mistakes at the beginning of correspondence
- Never use banal phrases and cliches: “You are beautiful! Let's get acquainted?";
- "Hello! How are you?";
- “If you like me, write!”;
- “Maybe we can talk?”
Making a compliment correctly
There are two types of compliments: direct and indirect. A direct compliment is open praise addressed to a girl. For example - “You are so beautiful”, “You are very smart”, etc. An indirect compliment allows you to praise an inherent feature of your interlocutor without focusing on it specifically.
For example – “Are you a doctor? This is the most important profession,” “Tall women always attract the attention of men.” Usually compliments are given to appearance, skills, success, behavior, attitudes, and charm.
How to meet a girl in an original way: examples
There are a large number of unusual and cool first phrases that will certainly be appreciated by your interlocutor and will make her smile:
- Good evening. What are your plans for the coming decades? I suggest we spend this time together.
- Tell me, what time is it now? How much do you have free for me?
- Have you been to Paris? Me neither. Let's discuss the details of our journey together.
- Are you against communicating with married men? That's good, because I'm single.
- Good afternoon. Do you want me to make you happy?
- Hello. Could you tell me how you like it?
So, in order to achieve success when meeting a girl, it is enough to decide on the location of the action, tidy up your appearance, and prepare a few suitable first phrases.
During the conversation, you need to be confident and natural, unobtrusively give compliments and keep the conversation on track.
Additional information on what to say to a girl when meeting her on video:
Step two #2
Only after social contact is established between you, launch the “like” program:
# Please note
# Show interest
Basic rules at this stage:
- Don't look away first;
- Do not look at the floor (preferably at the forehead, eyes, nose, clothes);
- Smile;
- Enjoy your courage;
- Tilt your head to the side as you listen to her answer;
- Maintain the “you” address until she herself suggests switching to “you.”
Your not feigned, but real interest will cause an absolutely amazing positive response from the girl.
Phrases to start a conversation that will make a girl like you:
“Do you come here often?”
“You have such a sweet smile that my legs don’t want to go any further past you.”
“Listen, I saw from afar that you were so beautiful and I couldn’t help but come up.”
“You were just choosing candies, I thought I should urgently come and meet you.”
