- November 3, 2018
- Psychology of Personality
- Ksenga
Who are difficult people? These are people who are unlike those around them. They have their own view of this world and their own idea of how they should live. People around them may judge them, believing that they are antisocial and not always tactful. But they are distinguished by sincerity and directness. We will consider the character traits of complex people in the article.
Problems from childhood
Why do some children grow up to be good kids, while others grow up to be headstrong tomboys? It's all about education and permissiveness. Parents who forbid their child a lot, but do it in moderation, will raise a normal person. But is it so good to be normal? The fact is that people who did not have their own opinion in childhood and followed the eternal instructions of their parents will continue to adhere to this style of behavior in adulthood. Such persons are good subordinates. They meet deadlines and always act according to instructions.
Those individuals who are called complex are very self-willed. Their creativity and initiative were not limited in childhood, therefore, with age, they only strengthened the opinion that this world should be examined and any opinion can and should be doubted. Such people cause a lot of problems to others. They always have their own opinion, do not want to agree with anyone and are not afraid to openly quarrel. It is impossible to listen to their conscience, and sometimes it seems that it simply does not exist. But it should be understood that such people rarely go beyond the bounds of decency and rarely intentionally cause harm to others.
When nothing else helps...
Some of you may think that meditation, mindfulness, and mindfulness are about being sweet, meek and passive. In reality, meditation can develop the ability to be more calm and compassionate, but at the same time, the practice unlocks your inner superpowers. Willpower, for example, when you need to be firm and assertive. Not out of rage or hatred towards the interlocutor, but out of respect for oneself and one’s own boundaries.
We can use our power to primarily protect ourselves when aggression is initiated by the other side. Does it sound like the philosophy of martial arts? And my task in this case is to identify such possibilities. Whether or not to use the strategies described in this part of the article is up to you. Be conscious when passing content through yourself.
Assertiveness
How do difficult people behave with others? Such people always have something to say, and they are not afraid to flaunt their candidacy. It should not be surprising that complex personalities often become the life of the party. Those people who have little interaction with an assertive person do not understand his shortcomings, since they are not noticeable. They can only be noticed in case of close contact with a person. A person will defend his opinion too stubbornly and will not consider it necessary to take into account the point of view of others. Even if a person understands that she is wrong, she is unlikely to immediately admit defeat. A person will defend his point of view to the last and only then, alone with himself, will he realize that he has committed a stupidity. People often commit such unreasonable actions. A person may think that she understands a question well, even if she spent 10 minutes studying it, and not half her life. It is impossible to argue with a person. But we must admit that over time he understands his mistakes and draws conclusions from them.
Building borders
If mindful communication based on compassion does not work... If trying to directly shift the conversation or break the other person's patterns does not work... Then the only thing left is to firmly assert your reinforced concrete boundaries. Of course, only if you don't want to let the person twist you into ropes. To put an end to the conversation, you need to take the situation into your own hands. This is a story about both self-compassion and compassion for your interlocutor, because allowing him to continue in the same spirit means not giving him the opportunity to think about his pattern of behavior.
Here are some examples of ending the dialogue (from softer to harsher):
- Look, I feel like we haven't gotten anywhere with our conversation. Let's just sleep with these thoughts and continue another time.
- I have to stop you right now. Looks like you've had a rough day today. I'm really sorry, but I don't have time for this right now.
- I don't want to be involved in these types of conversations anymore. Can you hear the buzzer? This is a signal to stop the train. And I'll get off at this station. Bye!
When completing communications in this way, remember that this is your decision and you take responsibility for it. Just like when you take responsibility for your attention during meditation practice, in moments when it eludes you.
Support this intention with confident and open body language and a firm voice. In the future, if necessary, you can deliberately not maintain contact with such a person. It is also an assertion of your boundaries.
Instead of an epilogue
We all have to deal with difficult people. And these contacts are, in a way, opportunities for our personal growth and testing the effectiveness of our mindfulness practices, as well as our ability to let go. Difficult people can give us the opportunity to notice and consider what we still need to work on. By touching us, they bring our hidden pain points to light so that we can explore them and do the necessary work to further transform. And the key practice is to develop equanimity and compassion. These two qualities are useful in all types of human interaction. When they are present, then even in difficult communication miracles can happen. Well, if your chosen strategies fail, it will be better for everyone if you interrupt such conversation or assert your boundaries... with compassion and equanimity.
One way or another, each of us has had and will have our own experience of such interactions, and we often make the choice of behavior model “here and now.” It is to ensure that this choice is conscious and not reactive that we practice meditation.
From theory to practice in one click
Heightened self-esteem
Complex personalities often suffer from narcissism. Narcissism and high self-esteem make them irresistible in their eyes. Such individuals think that those around them will also pray for them if they themselves extol their virtues. People get offended if they notice that others do not admire them. They demand attention and admiration. Sometimes people are even ready to mistake flattery for truth. The complex feelings of a person are difficult to describe. He suffers from internal inferiority if he wants to constantly receive positive feedback about his activities.
But a person does not always need the opinions of others. Truly strong people are often complex. They do not take into account other people's opinions and consider themselves unrecognized geniuses. Sometimes their intelligence and creativity are truly appreciated. But even if this does not happen, a person’s self-esteem does not fall and he continues to be confident in his uniqueness.
Difficult people: types and signs of “difficult” people
All contemporaries, regardless of their gender, age, level of education and social status, can be conditionally classified into three “groups”. The first group of people are sweet, pleasant, positive people. It is easy and interesting to communicate with them. They are charismatic and imposing, with a divine gift of persuading and influencing others. They attract others like a magnet. The other human caste is represented by “neutral” subjects. Contacts with such persons do not evoke special emotions. Interaction with such “middle peasants” does not leave any significant mark on the soul of the interlocutor. The third group included those whom we used to call “difficult” people. These are conflicting, hostile, aggressive people. They are suspicious, suspicious and touchy. Difficult people are power-hungry, self-righteous, and cannot tolerate criticism. Communication with such individuals is unpleasant and unbearable. They exude streams of discontent and indignation into the surrounding light. They do not know how to control their emotions and pour out abundant streams of anger and anger on others. It is not only impossible to communicate and work with such unbalanced individuals, but it is simply unbearably difficult to be around. Who are they - difficult people: types and signs of “difficult” people
What kind of unpleasant, difficult people are they?
Finding ourselves in the same company with such difficult subjects, we do not need to recall knowledge from psychology and recall the characteristics of personality types from memory. Without much effort and diligence, we will already feel that we are facing a unique socio-psychological phenomenon - a severe, inadequate, disgusting person. Deprived of psychological lightness and grace, such a heavyweight fills the entire space with negativity. When you are close to a difficult individual, it is very difficult to breathe due to the inability to take a full breath. Having met a difficult subject on the way, only one desire arises: to quickly hide and avoid a collision with such a burdening block of spite. However, it should be pointed out that the caste of difficult people is a mixed bag. Despite the general aversion to such subjects on the part of society, psychological heavyweights differ from each other. What types of heavy people are there? By what signs can you identify difficult people? Typical characteristics of unpleasant people are listed below. Type 1. The Uncompromising Detractor and Unfair Reviewer Difficult people are eternal harsh critics. They constantly criticize everything fiercely. They do not allow compromises. From their point of view, the thoughts, words, and actions of other people are wrong and wrong. Their criticism is unfair and unconstructive. For difficult people, severe censure of other people's actions is the only existing way of expressing eternal dissatisfaction with everyone and everything. Such persons do not need to look for an object to criticize, because there will always be a reason for condemnation. Difficult people express their resentment over trifles. They criticize their household for minor sins: for placing a cup incorrectly, for not eating a piece of bread to the last crumb, for over-watering the flowers on the windowsill. Type 2. Private prosecutor Difficult people do not need to gnaw on the granite of science to become prosecutors. Without professional training, they cope well with the position of private prosecutor. From the point of view of difficult people, all the problems and troubles that arise in their lives are the result of the influence of some external forces and circumstances. They hold other people to blame for their misfortunes. They condemn the actions of others, being confident that the actions of others were the reason for their failure. Difficult people do not accept that they are personally responsible for their existence. They willingly shift a heavy burden onto those close to them, and meekly put their own problems on the shoulders of others. Their sense of personal responsibility has simply atrophied. Type 3. Ungrateful blockhead Difficult people are ungrateful, insensitive individuals. They do not appreciate the good they have done. You will never hear words of gratitude from them for the services provided. They take it for granted that other people should help and assist them. They pay with black ingratitude for their problems, which were resolved by other members of society. Difficult people do not notice that for the sake of their well-being and convenience, relatives, friends, and colleagues sacrifice their time. They do not attach importance to the fact that for the sake of their convenience, those around them suffer hardships. They simply do not know words of gratitude and do not know the feeling of gratitude. Type 4. Arrogant and proud Difficult people are arrogant people, convinced of the perfection of their personality. They clearly have inflated self-esteem. They consider other ordinary people to be unworthy lower beings. Their characteristic features are arrogance, swagger, arrogance. Difficult people exaggerate their strengths and embellish their achievements. They devalue the abilities and advantages of friends and colleagues. They often suffer from delusions of grandeur, considering themselves the center of the Universe. Type 5. Confession seeker Due to real-life inferiority, difficult people require outside confirmation of their imagined merits. They love to be complimented and praised. They crave to constantly hear words of flattery addressed to them. Difficult people need increased attention to their person. They believe that others should certainly admire and sing the praises of their mythical exploits. They want to be given an exclusively positive assessment of all their actions, even if the actions taken were immoral. Difficult people dream of having their name immortalized in human history. Type 6. Unbeliever Thomas Difficult people are suspicious and distrustful. They are very cautious and careful. They are suspicious of both friends and strangers. They see the catch everywhere. Difficult people tend to distrust the words of even those closest to them. They are convinced that intrigues and intrigues are being hatched against them. They see danger in everything. For them, the world around them poses a potential threat to their well-being. Type 7. Hostile invader Difficult personalities are conflicting and hostile individuals. They do not wait for a signal to fight and attack those around them first. Cultural ceremonies and aristocratic manners are alien to them. In society they behave rudely and capriciously. They react violently to actions that are unpleasant to them. They express their dissatisfaction with angry shouting, offensive insults, and frightening threats. Difficult people prove things with their fists, humiliating their opponents. Type 8: Disguised Aggressor Difficult subjects often try to disguise their belligerent spirit. They hide their aggressiveness and hostility behind a mask of ostentatious friendliness. However, their natural rotten traits need to be brought out. Difficult people behave maliciously and sarcastically. They make nasty and evil jokes. They try to ironically and sarcastically prick their opponents. They mock and mock weak people. Difficult people create extremely stressful environments wherever they are. A spirit of merciless malice hovers around them. Type 9. The Irreconcilable Complainer Vile heavyweights see defects and flaws in everything. At the same time, they are trying with all their might to prove that everything is bad and terrible. They make an incredible fuss over every little thing. They tirelessly scribble complaints and slander. They inform on their neighbors and co-workers. They are convinced that their task is to prove to the whole world that even experienced professionals do everything wrong and of poor quality. They make complaints to everyone and always: teachers, doctors, minibus drivers, salespeople, janitors. In their understanding, their colleagues are from hell, so it is they who must stop and bring the lost sheep to reason. They make unfounded claims to their relatives. Type 10. Secretive attacker At first glance, such difficult people are simply uncommunicative and reserved people. However, unlike true silent people, these people simply hatch plans for revenge against their imaginary offenders. For some time they carefully disguise their discontent. However, there comes a time when some thoughtless word or careless action of others causes a fit of rage in difficult people. At such a moment, they unleash a flurry of negative emotions on the unsuspecting victim, covering them with a wave of abusive obscene words. Type 11. Unsociable silent person Many psychological heavyweights are taciturn, silent people. You can't get a word out of them. You will not hear their opinions, advice, or wishes. It's very uncomfortable to be with them because you can't guess what's on their mind. They don't engage in frank conversations. They prefer to avoid conversations regarding plans. They methodically harass their surroundings with stubborn silence. You will not hear from them either declarations of love or indignation due to betrayal. However, in the pool of silent quietness there are devils. It is from silent people that one can expect unpredictable and dangerous actions. Type 12. Radical Nihilist Difficult people reject generally accepted values. Established ideals are alien to them. They don't respect moral standards. They do not follow the rules of culture. They don't believe in anything that even really exists. They are skeptical and distrustful of everything. Such difficult people perceive all aspects of life negatively. For them, everything that happens around them is unpleasant, disgusting and meaningless. It is unbearable to be with them, because they poison life with terrible negativism. Type 13: The Unrecognized Genius Many difficult people believe they have phenomenal abilities. They are convinced that they are at a higher level of intellectual development than other fellow citizens. They are confident in their exclusive purpose. They always try to prove that they are right by humiliating their interlocutors. They defend their point of view until their voices become hoarse. Difficult people do not even allow the thought that they could be wrong. They do not notice their own mistakes and blunders. These boring and boring people want to be idolized and obeyed. Type 14. Screaming Goose Some difficult people do not know how to speak kindly and calmly. They are used to screaming heart-rendingly for any reason, and can start screaming even in his absence. For such subjects, screaming and screaming is a way of calming down. They cannot achieve harmony and spiritual balance if they are not given the opportunity to scream. At the same time, they definitely need an audience at the “concert” they organize. But after shouting enough, they become quiet and sweet creatures. Type 15. Unceremonious weasel Such psychological heavyweights are always sticking their nose into things that aren’t their own. They unceremoniously insert themselves into other people's conversations. They impose their presence, even if they know that his company will be superfluous. They impudently invade the personal space of other people. They try to penetrate the soul and find out the news in all the smallest details. It is impossible to be with such difficult people. It is impossible to hide or run away from them. They will stalk their prey until their curiosity is satisfied. Type 16. The Uncompromising Bulldozer Many difficult people push through life like tanks. No one and nothing will stop them on their chosen path. They sweep away all obstacles, destroy barriers, walk over corpses in order to find what they want. Such individuals are absolutely not concerned with the desires and needs of others. They will never capitulate or compromise. They see themselves only as a winner, and in order to destroy the enemy they use all permitted and prohibited techniques. Type 17. Omniscient and literate Some difficult people consider themselves the best teachers and wise mentors. She gives advice and recommendations left and right. They believe that only they know the correct answer to a question. They constantly demonstrate their superiority, trying to prove to others that they are mediocre ignoramuses. Difficult people do not hear or listen to their interlocutors. They don't consider other people's points of view. They like to give long explanations, even when they are not asked. Type 18. Pathological liar Many difficult people have a genetic need to lie. They lie constantly, even when there is no need to lie. Pathological liars firmly believe what they say. They don't see the obvious mistakes in their false reports. Even if convincing evidence is presented, they will deny that they were telling a lie. Type 19. Altruistic compassionate person Such difficult people are ready to help everyone and always. They do not know how to refuse others. They take on any assigned tasks, even if they do not have the opportunity to complete such work. They cannot say no, even if the request goes against their principles. They do not separate the needs of loved ones from the needs of complete strangers. Such difficult people are constantly busy and loaded with something. They don’t have enough time for their families, because they are interested in the mythical “salvation” of the whole world. Type 20: Narcissistic Difficult people are so fascinated with themselves that they would die looking at their reflection in the mirror. These are narcissistic and selfish natures. They don't care what happens in the world around them. They enjoy being with themselves. They have extremely high self-esteem. Being in the shadow of the “majestic” narcissist, you feel like only a pitiful imitation of this “divine” being. How to deal with difficult people: methods for taming difficult people
In a sense, being a difficult person is a kind of diagnosis. Severe people have an incurable disease: their character traits cannot be influenced, personality traits cannot be eliminated, and their behavior is difficult to change. Most of the above types balance on the brink, risking moving from the category of healthy individuals into the category of persons with mental disabilities. Many difficult people need real professional help from a psychologist. Some of them are potential clients of psychiatrists and psychotherapists, since their inappropriate behavior poses a serious danger to society. However, society is not only forced to exist alongside such difficult individuals. Whether we like it or not, we have to meet such unpleasant people every day, interact with them, establish contacts with them, try to find common ground. How to communicate with people who have a whole range of manias, depressions, and phobias? How to establish contacts with difficult personalities without exposing yourself to the risk of becoming a victim of moral violence? Psychologists have developed several golden rules, compliance with which will become a protective amulet when interacting with difficult people. The best option is to clear your environment of all disgusting types and not communicate with unpleasant creatures. If you cannot avoid contact with difficult people, the main task is to remain calm and not give in to negative emotions. We need to be both relaxed and collected at the same time. Make sure the conversation goes smoothly. When entering into a dialogue with a difficult person, it is necessary to exclude the influence of distracting and irritating factors on him. The conversation should be conducted in a peaceful atmosphere. The grinding of entrance doors, the sounds of dripping water, and the voice of a television announcer irritate mentally unstable individuals. To achieve the desired result from difficult people, you should not shine with wit and show your erudition. We must express our thoughts in simple and understandable language. Avoid long and complex speech structures. Do not insert epithets, metaphors, aphorisms and quotes into the monologue - difficult people in most cases do not understand the meaning of such artistic means. You cannot jump from one topic to another and ask several questions at the same time. Having asked about something specific, you need to wait for an answer, and only then ask the next question. It is necessary to formulate questions in such a way that the opponent can give a short, unambiguous answer. You should not be interested in topics that are unknown or unpleasant to him. To reach a difficult person and get truthful information from him, you need to clarify the details by asking leading questions. To put a difficult person in a friendly mood and win us over, we must ask his opinion and offer to submit his ideas for consideration. It should be shown that his point of view is clear, and we fully share his ideas. At the same time, we must behave honestly, not fake or lie. A lie on our part will aggravate the situation and set the difficult person in a hostile mood. To make the conversation lighter and eliminate tension, we can use subtle humor in the conversation, but our jokes must be understandable to a difficult person. If he has problems with a sense of humor, then it is better to refuse to tell jokes and funny stories. Difficult people react very aggressively to attempts by others to penetrate their personal space. Therefore, when communicating with unpleasant people, we need to keep our distance, not approaching them closer than one meter. Difficult persons in most cases do not understand and do not allow gestures of “good will”. Therefore, you should not try to shake their hand, pat them on the shoulder, and even more so, hug and kiss them. To avoid disastrous consequences from communicating with a difficult subject, it is necessary to give him the opportunity to speak out. There is no need to interrupt his protracted monologue. It is strictly forbidden to enter into disputes with inappropriate people. No matter how hard we try, it is impossible to get such people to change their point of view. Any attempt we make to convince him will run into a wall of angry protest and rage. Even logical and ironclad arguments are not able to restore sanity to a notorious psychopath. No matter how disgusting it may be, we need to calmly accept his accusations and reproaches. You cannot raise your voice or start shouting. All claims of a difficult person must be answered with a smile. The disgusting person is just waiting for the interlocutor to lose his balance, but he does not expect a smile. We show patience and wisdom. We make no attempts to educate, intimidate, or “discipline” an unpleasant subject. We do not criticize his actions, we do not condemn his character traits. We avoid notes of superiority and patronage. We remember that most difficult people are sick and unhappy people, but their arrogance does not tolerate a condescending attitude. Our task is to demonstrate respect for the peculiarities of his personality. Show that we accept it with all the advantages and disadvantages. Then the bile, the causticity and sarcasm of the heavy person will not be directed to our address.
Constant criticism
A person who considers himself unique gives himself the right to criticize others. He thinks that those around him are stupid people who, without smart advice, cannot do anything on their own. Criticism of people is most often adequate, but sometimes people play around and express their opinions just to say something. This quality is inherent in many individuals. But it cannot be said with certainty that any person is complex. There are ordinary people who do not criticize anyone and do not want anything. Such persons are very limited in their development, and therefore cannot be called complex.
But complex people criticize not only those around them, but also themselves. They approach their work responsibly, so they are often dissatisfied with the result. Persons work on their mistakes and try not to step on the same rake twice.
WHAT QUALITY OF LIFE DO YOU CHOOSE?
In principle, life is simple. Born, graduated, went to work, got married, had children, retired, died.
The question is different, what quality of life will you have? Will you be satisfied with the result at the end? Will you make your own decisions or those of others? Do you make a choice yourself or under pressure from someone or something? Do you choose to be simple or complex people?
How old are you now? 20? thirty? 40? 50? Maybe more.
How much is left? 20? thirty? 40? 50? Or again more.
There is a good exercise to realize how you generally live and what the meaning of your life is.
You need to take a piece of paper, draw a segment on it, divide it into equal parts (you can have 8, you can have 4, you can have more or less, it’s not that important). The segment is your life. The average age is taken to be 80. It turns out that more is gorgeous, less, but what to do...
If you divide the segment into 8 parts, then each part is 10 years.
Next, you mark the point where you are now.
For example, I am 32 years old. I am between the 3rd and 4th segments of my life.
At this moment, I did this, I achieved this, I have this.
But there are still 4+ segments ahead. And I want to do this, achieve this and get this as a result...
This exercise helps you look at your life from the outside and discard illusions about having a lot of time and your endless abilities. It is very useful to mentally transport yourself to the last part of your life and imagine how you want to see the result of your life.
This exercise personally gives me an extra kick when I start to feel blue. You need to understand that physical strength decreases with age and you need to prepare in advance for the moment of “retirement”.
Such calm planning of life personally gives me a sense of movement. And movement is life.
Planning for the next segment of the straight line can be especially fruitful. For example, in 10 years I want to have this, for this I need to do this in three years and this in 7 years.
Then, in order to achieve this in 3 years, you need to do this and this.
Review and adjust at some intervals. And of course you celebrate your small and big achievements.
Write down your achievements on the list and here is a ready-made tool for raising your self-esteem. I wrote about this in more detail in the article “I’m proud of you, and you?”
This kind of analytical work requires the mind. Sober, calm and free.
Poor attitude towards others
Do you often think that you are a very difficult person? Then think about your relationships with others. Difficult people are often lonely. Despite their large circle of acquaintances, they have few close friends. They communicate well only with people they themselves have chosen. Strong personalities despise other people, considering them stupid or unworthy of their society. Moreover, people often do not even hide their contempt for others. They openly admit that they do not like society and find it easier to work alone.
What other ways does a bad attitude manifest itself? Difficult people, as a rule, do not need love. They are self-sufficient. If a person starts a family for some reason, he does not pay as much attention to it as his spouse and children require.
You tend to be quick to judge people
In everyday life we meet many people and form impressions about them. For example, in the past we met an employee of a certain company and we liked communicating with him. Subconsciously, we believe that most of his colleagues will have the same qualities, and communication with them will also be positive.
If you are a complex person, you base your experiences on precisely these subconscious analogies, especially the negative aspects. Thus, you are too biased and do not allow people to express themselves. Such a quick judgment is simply unfair to them. Therefore, it may be difficult for you to establish new contacts and make friends.
Suspiciousness
The internal complex system of a person does not allow a difficult nature to trust others. Such people are very suspicious. They see a catch everywhere and in everything. They do not trust others, and therefore do not demand it from themselves. You can’t keep secrets with such people. They will not consider it necessary to withhold any information and will believe that if it was shared with them, it means that something was wanted from them. It is difficult to be friends with such people. A person perceives any good deed with hostility. She thinks that she will have to pay for any service, even a very small one.
Difficult people do not consider it necessary to help others and do not demand that they be helped. They achieve everything on their own and demand the same from others. They are not afraid that they will be judged or misunderstood. They are mentally prepared for this and will not even be offended by the person who insults them.
You argue often
A healthy dispute is one where each party respectfully resolves their differences to reach a common decision. Not every conversation needs to have pros and cons. The exchange of ideas can be simple, polite and even enjoyable.
People with complex personalities perceive conversations as a way to prove they are right or demonstrate knowledge. If one of your friends shares thoughts, you can correct them because you think they are wrong. Over time, this can become tiring - so it is worth controlling such a “difficult” habit.
Sense of humor
A complex person is an individual who is not without self-irony. The person understands that her character is not sugar, but she comes to terms with it. Since complex individuals are mostly selfish, they do not understand why they need to change anything about themselves. But they are well aware of their imperfections and therefore try to joke about them. The truth doesn't hurt your eyes so much when you spice it up with humor. Any situation becomes easier if you laugh at it. Difficult people know this very well. They have a good sense of humor, and this is what helps them attract people. Charisma disarms others and forces them to obey the person who cleverly lured the victim into his network. Complex personalities do not need constant communication, but they do need people who will help carry out Napoleonic plans. Therefore, people often make new acquaintances, smile warmly at everyone they meet, and for the time being try to hide their character behind smiles and good jokes.
Responsibility
How do you relate to people who are sharply different from those around you? Negatively? What kind of person is a complex person? This is a person who goes against the grain and is not afraid to stand out. A person knows how to take responsibility for his words and actions and is not afraid of condemnation. Responsibility is a character trait that is inherent in strong individuals. Weak people do not know how to be responsible even for decisions they personally make. But strong individuals can always account for their behavior, as well as answer for the actions of their subordinates. Because of this character trait, many people do not like them, because they believe that they take on too much. For this reason, subordinates frankly do not like bosses and cannot understand their actions. And decisions made with full responsibility seem strange to people.
Pros of relationships with difficult girls2
The time has come to move to a closer level of relationship and the question arises for any guy: is it worth marrying her? When choosing a girlfriend in life, men are divided into two groups: they look for a simple one, and they deliberately look for a complex one. The first prefer to meet a girl with whom it is easy to come to an agreement; you can sail through life calmly and not worry about anything. The latter are looking for extreme sports, they don’t need a girl without pretensions, drive, someone who doesn’t know how to cut and just loves.
The girl’s complex character helps her not to sit exactly in one place, and she begins to move the man. This is an excellent partner for a creative union, a businessman, a guy with millionaire ambitions who is looking for a magic kick. Such a girl will be an excellent mover in the family. Only the man will have to accept that she is in charge, and she will set the tone in the relationship.
Competition
A person who is strong in spirit is never afraid of competition. On the contrary, he even craves her, because he thinks that she will make him stronger and better. A challenging person is not afraid to grow and compete with his peers. He believes that the intensity of passions will help to overcome the path faster. When a person leaves his comfort zone, he can make a revolution in his destiny much faster than if the person sat in his cozy cocoon and did not try to somehow change his life. The more competition, the better, as any complex person thinks. Many people do not understand this position in life, because they are afraid to lose, but the person is not afraid to act and take risks. Because of this desire for eternal disputes and bets, as well as for an eternal race, others do not always understand difficult people. They have to put up with a difficult character, and sometimes even indulge people who cannot be convinced of anything.
Perfectionists
Difficult people try to do everything well. Sometimes the situation reaches the point of absurdity, but people do not notice it. They want everything to go according to their plan, and they do not intend to deviate from the intended path. Any deviation from the plan is considered a tragedy. Perfectionism does not allow a person to develop and makes him stagnate for a long time. Difficult people are willing to put up with it if it results in them doing a flawless job. They demand similar results from others. And at the same time, people get very upset when they find out that one of their acquaintances or subordinates is working carelessly.
Is life difficult for perfectionists? Very. They constantly criticize others, give advice to everyone and hear a lot of unflattering reviews about themselves. Is it possible to get used to such a reaction? Difficult. People cannot change themselves. It is difficult for them to understand why work can be done poorly. Normal people understand that the best is the enemy of the good. But difficult people do not realize this simple truth, and they have to put up with the incompetence, laziness and recklessness of those around them.
You don't know how to let go of grudges
We can be offended by the actions and words of other people. For the most part, we tend to let go of grievances if the culprit has apologized to us and corrected the situation. But people with complex characters cannot do this. They may often remind their partners of past mistakes or keep grudges deep in their souls, replaying them over and over again in their heads. This contributes to the deterioration of relationships with people and leads to a negative outlook on the world.
How to behave with people?
Don't know how to deal with difficult people? Psychologists' advice would be:
- Don't indulge the person. Remember, you are also an individual and deserve respect.
- Don't try to change a person; a person will change only when he wants to.
- Treat difficult people kindly. Remember that every complex person is a child disliked by his parents.
- You should not show the person that you are offended by him. Even if a person deeply offends you, try to restrain yourself. Otherwise, you will constantly endure attacks from the person.
