How to raise a 5.5-year-old boy: features of education, practical advice and recommendations from psychologists

The crisis of 5 years in a child is a period of whims, hysterics, aggression and isolation of the child. Not only the child himself faces difficulties, but also parents, who often do not know how to behave during this difficult period of time.

A five-year-old child differs from other children of other ages in the following features:

Distinguishes between “good” and “bad”, “right” and “wrong”, “true” and “false”.
He makes attempts to apply adult logic, but so far he has not succeeded.
She loves games and fiction: during the game she can turn into a princess, prince, dragon, pony, soldier and other incredible characters.
Loves the company of children of the same sex as himself.
He really needs the praise and approval of adults and peers.
Strives to be the best among his peers.
Defines his own standards and tries to meet them.
Able to tease and offend children who do not meet the invented standards.

In order for the crisis to pass more easily, close adults need to be patient and sensitive to the child’s internal problems and contradictions.

Features of a difficult age

Reaching 5-6 years of age, any boy continues to actively explore the world. But at the same time, his worldview is gradually changing, his intellect is rapidly developing, and his desires are becoming more and more numerous. Therefore, at this age he needs especially sensitive, and sometimes harsh, upbringing.

To begin with, it is worth noting that this particular age is best suited for laying the foundation for psychological, mental and physical development. Having missed this moment and trying to make up for everything in 10 years, you will no longer be able to achieve a brilliant result, even if maximum effort is made on both sides. It has long been noted that children who become interested in sports or reading at this age retain their hobby for life and often succeed.

At this age, the boy realizes that the world is not at all limited to his apartment, yard and even the city; many awaken a thirst for adventure - sometimes quite dangerous, so you need to watch especially carefully, trying not to interfere with exploring the wonderful world.

Psychology of the subtleties of education

The following statement is true: “No matter how you pretend, you won’t be able to deceive a dog or a child.” Children subtly sense the mood of those around them and their attitude towards themselves. In addition, they are able to analyze and draw conclusions.

It is not always clear to a child how to behave in a certain situation. And when a loved one gets sick or sad, he tries to distract him from bad thoughts. Any methods are used. The child cries, laughs, or plays around. If only his mother, who communicates with him every day, teaches and explains something, continues to be his favorite girlfriend in all matters and games.

Sometimes such “care” causes a lot of trouble. It is impossible to accuse the child of insensitivity and ingratitude at such moments. Under the mask of noisy fun and sudden needs, fear and excitement are hidden. The child is confused by the strange change of a loved one. Therefore, sometimes he may ask questions: “Can you hear me?”, “Can you talk?” So he tries to attract attention and clarify whether he was the reason for the sudden change.

At these moments, the child needs support. It is enough to hug him and pat him on the head. You can say a few phrases in a calm voice, without notes of irritation or dissatisfaction. Explain the current situation, even if he did not ask about it directly. The advice of another adult whom the child trusts will also help.

Thematic material:

Breathing exercises Buteyko
Board games for children 5 years old

Social connections

Five-year-old boys need to communicate with their peers - this lays down communication skills that will definitely be useful in the future, both in their personal lives and in the professional sphere. Therefore, parents should definitely provide them with the opportunity to communicate with interesting children.

But the child’s relationship with his parents becomes a little more complicated. Five-year-old boys are cunning. But don't think that this is because they are bad. It's just a survival mechanism: for thousands of years, humanity has lived in a cruel world. Only smart and strong people could survive in it. Children, not yet possessing these qualities, were forced to develop cunning in themselves, which is observed in many today. They begin to be cunning, try to manipulate their parents, do less while getting more. It is very important to notice this in time and stop it or direct it in the right direction - you will always be smarter and more far-sighted than a child, at least thanks to more life experience, and you must cope with this task. These are the features of raising a 5-6 year old boy. Knowing them, it will be much easier to raise a child the way you would like.

HOW LONG CAN THE CRISIS LAST?

The 5-year-old crisis is an individual concept, and therefore it manifests itself differently in everyone and at different times. If we talk about deadlines, then it can last from several weeks and months and even up to a year. For some children, it goes away very easily, and adults may not even notice the problems. And there are also parents who simply clutch their heads, not knowing what to do and what actions to take. The most important advice in such a situation is not to panic and listen to psychologists in everything.

However, it happens that the baby’s five-year period goes quite smoothly, but problems arise a little later. The so-called crisis of 6 years in children is characterized by the following signs:

complete refusal of toys;
violation of established forms of relationships;
abrupt change in the psyche.

With all this, it is necessary to note certain positive nuances of this period - in children their main talents are especially clearly manifested. Thanks to this, parents have the opportunity to choose the right clubs and interest groups for them - enroll their child in an art, dance or sports school. They can find their calling right now, because they say that there are no untalented children, but there are gifted ones who were not helped by adults to open up.

Who should raise the child?

But here the answer will be completely unambiguous. Psychologists believe that it is necessary to take into account the physiology and psychology of a boy when raising a 5-year-old child in order to achieve success. At this age, he begins to recognize himself as a future man. It is no coincidence that up to the age of 5 in Rus', children were usually called the term “child” - neuter, and after this age they were indicated as boys and girls.

From this age, the boy needs the care and love of his mother, but he should be raised primarily by his father. Well, or a worthy man replacing him (uncle, grandfather, or at least an older cousin). In Sparta, famous for its great warriors, at the age of 5 a boy moved to a men's house, where he received an appropriate upbringing. In Rus', by this age, the father increasingly took his son with him to work and hunting, so that he remembered not only all the subtleties of the work performed, but also became imbued with truly masculine, hard work, and got used to it.

Of course, today most fathers spend the lion's share of their time away from their children - at work. But if he wants to know how to properly raise a 5.5-year-old boy, then we can advise setting aside at least an hour a day (in the evening) and several hours on weekends to spend time with the children, to show them what a man should be, by personal example.

How to deal with a child’s 5th year crisis: advice from psychologists

Manifestations of crisis in five-year-old children in the form of hysterics, whims and isolation can be minimized by using the following general tips:

Try to find out the reason for the child’s bad mood or his secrecy.
After finding out the reason, offer your child a solution to the problem and implement your plan together.
Create the most comfortable and tranquil environment in your home.
Don't give free rein to your emotions - your irritation can lead to catastrophic consequences.
Always remain calm, even during your child's tantrums. You can only control the situation with your balance.
Try to encourage all your baby's initiatives and endeavors. Ask him what he is thinking and what he wants. You will be amazed at your child's creative thinking and creative responses.
Challenge yourself: study with your child, read more books, sign up for accounting or calligraphy courses. The more you develop, the more your baby will benefit from it. And in joint development, the childhood crisis will pass unnoticed for both you and your offspring.
Become a fan of your little one's talents. Celebrate what he already knows and help him strive for new knowledge and skills. Focus not on possible crisis whims and hysterics, but on the child’s successes and endeavors.

The crisis of five years in a child is a test of the strength of parental nerves. Don't break your relationship with your baby by losing his trust. Strive for mutual understanding under any circumstances and even in the most reckless behavior of your child.

What should parents do?

Practical recommendations for what parents should do if their children are in crisis:

Try to spend as much time as possible with your baby: be interested in his affairs, talk about yours, talk about important and trivial topics.
All your actions concerning the child must be explained to him. It is important for a five-year-old to feel important, and explanations will convince him that you treat him like an adult.
Talk with your child more often about “what is good and what is bad.” This is especially important in cases where the baby shows aggression or fights.
Ask your child for help, even if these matters are insignificant - this is necessary so that your offspring feels “needed”.
Ask your child for advice, show him that you treat him as an equal.
Play more with your child, allow yourself to plunge into childhood.
Entrust your offspring with some duties. Over time, increase the number of duties and responsibilities.
Give your child the opportunity to be a little more free, do not patronize him too much.
Offer your help and support to the baby, but do not impose.
Avoid harsh words and actions towards your child. Always have an alternative proposal prepared.
Praise your offspring more often, even over trifles.
Don't focus on your child's antics; it will go away over time.
Give your child the opportunity to find himself and get more impressions: take him to exhibitions, museums, art galleries, circuses, theaters. Explain what you saw, discuss his impressions with him and share yours.

Remember that any energy needs an outlet. Excessive activity can find its application in sports sections: swimming, football, dancing, tennis, badminton, karate, fencing, rhythmic gymnastics. Experiences associated with age-related characteristics will fade into the background, as the child will meet new people and strive for success in the business in which he is busy.

Try to teach your child to formulate his own opinion, convince others, logically build a chain of arguments, and justify his desires. The ability to competently express your thoughts and desires will help your baby communicate in a civilized manner with you and others. Screams, hysterical demands, mooing, angry silence, ignoring the requests of adults - all this will disappear into oblivion as soon as the child learns to speak correctly and give reasons in his favor.
It is important to keep your child busy all the time and not get bored. Help him find himself, make his life richer. If he doesn’t have a lot of time, unnecessary thoughts and reasons for irritation and withdrawal will not come to his mind. The sooner a child finds a suitable activity for himself, the better he will survive the current crisis and subsequent ones.

During a crisis, a good parental example is very important for five-year-old children. Become a friend and role model for your child, and the difficult period will seem less long and difficult.

What should parents not do?

During the crisis period of a five-year-old child, experts categorically prohibit the following:

Screams, scandals, humiliation and physical abuse of the child.
Rudeness, anger and careless attitude towards a child. If you cannot control yourself, then parents are advised to visit a psychologist.
Use phrases like “You’re bothering me”, “Go away/go away”, “You don’t know how to do anything”, etc.
Intrude, lecture, lecture, emphasize the child’s age and lack of any skills.
Connivance with obvious aggression and inappropriate behavior of your offspring.
The situation needs to be corrected gently, without hysterics and assault.
Slow down if you see that the baby needs help. Put everything aside and take care of your offspring's problems immediately.
Ignore your child and put your needs before his.

Let's lead by example

It is impossible to overestimate the importance of the right example if you are wondering how to raise a 5.5-year-old boy. A father can spend hours telling his son how harmful smoking is, how beneficial sports and reading are. But if he does this while lying on the sofa with a beer belly and a cigarette in his hand, and the last time he picked up a book was at school, then this lecture will not bring any benefit. But it will harm family relationships: a cunning and attentive child will understand that his father’s words are very different from his deeds. Of course, the authority of the head of the family will be sharply shaken.

Fortunately, a 5-year-old child is already resilient and smart enough to be taken with you anywhere. Tourist outings, fishing, hunting - he can accompany his father everywhere. Do you have a dacha? Why not show him how his father chops wood, planes boards to make a stool or at least a birdhouse, digs up beds for greenery? The child will be really interested in this. He will understand that only selfless work can achieve the desired result. And expanding your range of interests will always be beneficial.

No opportunity to go to the country? Start a tradition of doing workouts together. Let the father put the child on his back and do ten push-ups, and more if he can. Very soon the child himself will begin to imitate his father, whose authority will rise in his eyes.

Read an interesting age-appropriate book with him. This will bond father and sons together, and at the same time instill a lifelong love of reading.

Characteristic features of the baby’s behavior during this period

One of the main signals that makes parents understand that the baby is growing up and moving to another stage of communication is a sharp change in behavior for the worse.

This can manifest itself in different ways, but in some cases it becomes very difficult to cope with the child’s whims. The 5-year-old crisis is characterized by the following behavioral factors:

the baby notices rapid fatigue;
he gets irritated, gets angry over trifles;
some children have a desire to irritate an adult, for example, to make faces, act mannered, pretend to be a jester, etc.;

the baby's aggressiveness increases;
It is more common to imitate in a child’s behavior actions and phrases copied from adults;
self-doubt appears.

During a crisis, previously calm children may begin to rebel, or, conversely, previously sociable children suddenly become secretive and shy.

Hyperactive or ill-mannered?

“Specialists”, whom worried parents turn to with the question of how to properly raise a 5-year-old boy, today are increasingly diagnosing hyperactivity. The child does not sit still, constantly throws toys and other people’s things around, and does not listen to anyone. Most often, in such cases, drug treatment with extremely dangerous drugs is prescribed. After this, the child no longer acts as a hooligan, but also completely loses interest in the world around him. He eats and sleeps mechanically, like a zombie.

But many experts, who are approached with questions about how to raise a hyperactive 5-year-old boy, generally deny the existence of such a disease as hyperactivity. Very often the matter lies in the usual lack of upbringing. This is most often observed in families where there is either no man or he is denied the right to raise children. It is very difficult to correct the situation; for five years a child was instilled with the idea that he is a king and he can do anything, and suddenly his rights are sharply curtailed: they are trying to force him to behave quietly, put away toys, and stop interfering in adults’ conversations. This is a very difficult situation - in most cases, even the advice of a psychologist on how to raise a 5-year-old boy is useless. Therefore, it is better to listen less to the instructions of modern experts and keep a tight rein on the child. Yes, this is difficult for parents and unpleasant for the child (although the latter adapts very quickly to new circumstances), but later it will save him from many problems, and the grown-up boy, who has turned into a man, will only be grateful.

Signs of crisis in a 5 year old child

Parents should know the features of a difficult period in order to provide the necessary support to their offspring in a timely manner. Symptoms of a crisis in five-year-old children manifest themselves as follows:

The child withdraws into himself, begins to talk less, shares his emotions, successes and achievements with you, although he has always done this.
Your offspring refuses to obey adults and shows disobedience.
The baby has become very timid, insecure and fearful; he seeks to hide from everything new and unknown to him.
The child is irritated and angry almost all the time, and is rude to adults and peers for no reason.
The baby is hysterical for no reason, cries over trifles and is capricious all day long.
The child makes faces, behaves and angrily copies adults.
The kid fantasizes a lot, tells everyone made-up stories, passing them off as true.
The child moves a lot and gets tired quickly, is easily excitable and very emotional, although he has not been noticed in this before.
Your offspring declares that he wants more freedom and independence, refuses to go out together, explaining this by his “maturity.”
The kid strives to do everything the other way around and to spite the adults, even if it is to his detriment.
Your offspring has become very stubborn and stands his ground to the end - it is important for him to be taken into account.
Constant dissatisfaction with everything and everyone.
Seeks to dictate to everyone what to do and how to be. In his opinion, this is what adults do, and he really wants to be “big.”

Getting rid of excess energy

Another problem facing parents who are thinking about how to raise a 5-6 year old boy is excess energy. Probably every parent wondered where so much strength comes from in a tiny, frail body. The child runs around from morning to evening, runs, jumps, makes noise, plays, climbs into every crevice. Of course, if you lock him in a children's room, the consequences will be very destructive. And if you forbid him to waste energy, this will lead to sad consequences - loss of appetite, poor sleep and, as a result, tearfulness, constant fatigue, headache.

What to do in such a situation? How to raise a 5 year old child? It is best to send the boy to a suitable sports section. This could be sambo, swimming, athletics, tourism and many other suitable sports. Here he will definitely get rid of excess strength, and when he comes home and has a hearty snack, he will immediately fall asleep, restoring his energy.

How to help your child develop: ideas and tips

During this period, children are constantly learning, so it is important to introduce them to new sports, crafts and social situations.

Here are some tips to help parents develop the necessary skills in their child:

invite him to play more often, developing skills such as caring, responsiveness, the ability to share something with others, etc.;
sing songs and read stories that develop empathy;
Involve your child in household chores: cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc. These daily chores will help him develop motor skills and responsibility;
Draw more together and do crafts. This will not only help with the development of fine motor skills, but will also tell you a lot about your child;
Spend active time outdoors: ride a bike/scooter, swim, play with a ball, etc.

How to quickly and easily teach a child to ride a bike?

Games

In the world of gadgets, even popular children's games have lost their relevance. But in vain! We invite you to remember some of them and play with your children.

Active games on the street

Bouncers

You will need at least 3 people and a ball. Two bouncers throw a ball to each other, trying to knock out the one in the middle.

Try a game of dodgeball in your yard or at the park and you will see how other kids will immediately want to join you.

2. Classics

The game is not only fun, but also develops coordination. And you can play it anywhere: both on the ground and on the asphalt.

Games for a group of children

For noisy children, you can offer a relay race game - this will help direct the children’s activity in the right direction.

Relay tasks:

walking on tiptoes;
walking with a balloon or ball without touching it with your hands;
walking with a book on your head;
pass under an obstacle (for example, stretch a ribbon between two chairs).

Draw a story

Make up a story and draw it on paper.

Think through the details down to the smallest detail, for example: “On the edge of the forest stood a house with a red roof and a brick chimney. The walls of the house..." Add heroes and you will be surprised by your child's imagination.

Box games

If you have at least one cardboard box in your house, you are guaranteed an entertaining evening. Girls can build a house for dolls from large boxes (or several small ones): paste wallpaper, make windows, arrange furniture. For boys, you can make a knight's castle, a garage with a descent or a service station.

Create a fairy tale

This game is good to play with the whole family. Its essence is to compose a fairy tale, when each participant speaks one sentence. A funny fable and a pleasant pastime are guaranteed to you.

5 years is an amazing age when you can suddenly find next to you not a baby, but a completely adult person, with his own taste and opinion. And if by the age of 3-4 it became easier for you in terms of caring for your child, then by this age it becomes noticeably easier to communicate with your son or daughter.

You already understand the child better, you can go to the cinema or museums together, travel, discuss what you see and just have fun. Enjoy the moment and each other’s company before school days begin and new worries arise!

Finding a suitable hobby

However, education is not limited to just sports. After all, a child must develop both spiritually and intellectually. Of course, one of the best hobbies is reading. At 5 years old, many children can already read well. But it will be better if their parents read to them. Take 15-30 minutes before bed to read a good book to your child - the benefits of this have already been discussed above.

Don't forget about other options. At five years old, your son can draw, play the piano, build construction sets, play chess, and do many other activities. Let him do it at a very mediocre level. But he has room to grow. It is very important that he wants to do this himself, and does not act under pressure at the whim of his parents.

Game-based learning

A 5-year-old child is a bundle of energy, a holiday, positive in its purest form. In order for him to remain this way for a long time, it is necessary not to overshadow his childhood with adult problems. Help him understand important theory through play.

These rules include:

fire safety;
Traffic Laws;
inadmissibility of communication with strangers.

To spank or not to spank?

A very serious and difficult question. And here everything depends both on the child’s personality and on upbringing at the age of 1-2 years. Most parents, acting intuitively, turn out to be absolutely right. A one-year-old child reached for the socket, but shouting did not help? A light slap on the butt will make him cry a little, although it will be much worse for the parents. But he will understand that it is impossible to contradict mom and dad (but this is only appropriate in cases where the child is in real danger). As a result, at 5 years old, a normal shout or even a simple conversation is quite enough.

You should not believe the numerous “teachers” who have proliferated in recent years. They claim that every hit on a soft spot will make the child hate his parents. But it was used for many centuries, and families were much more closely knit than they are today. Do not believe those who believe that physical punishment allows you to raise an obedient slave. Take for example the medieval nobles. They were flogged for the slightest offense. And strongly, conceived to the point of bleeding. And from them grew great scientists, writers, artists, and warriors. And it is simply impossible to combine this with a slave nature.

But the best approach is to see in your baby a personality who needs to be helped to open up, then a belt will not be needed.

WHAT SHOULD PARENTS DO?

How should an adult behave correctly in a situation where a child is completely uncontrollable? First you need to find out why the child behaves this way - perhaps he simply lacks your attention. The main thing is to create a comfortable and favorable environment for communication. You need to not only demonstrate your understanding of the baby’s condition, but also try to direct his impulsiveness in the right direction. To do this, you should listen to these recommendations:

play outdoor games with your child more often, preferably in the fresh air;
go with him and the rest of the family to the forest, park, visit theaters, exhibitions, museums with your child;
If there is increased activity, enroll your child in a sports section - this will allow him to get new impressions, make new friends and acquaintances.
Entrust your child with simple housework - watering indoor plants, helping mom go to the store;
explain his unworthy behavior in a calm atmosphere, focusing on good deeds;
ask your child for help, ask for advice - even on trivial matters - this will help him raise his self-esteem;
begin to slowly teach your child to think logically, express his desires and considerations without shouting and screaming, and correctly express his motives and arguments.

Instilling responsibility

Studying the advice of psychologists on how to raise a 5-year-old boy, you can notice a pattern: they note that it is at this age that any healthy child strives for independence. Do not interfere with him in this under any circumstances! On the contrary, develop a very valuable skill if you don’t want to get an intimidated, spineless guy who is not interested in anything at 18 years old. Does he make mistakes? Yes, and he learns from them, thanks to them he becomes stronger, smarter and far-sighted.

But, of course, he should always feel the support of his parents and know that they will always help.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO EXPERIENCE THE CRISIS “CORRECTLY”?

The 5-year crisis is the end of the preschool period and preparation for school age. This is an important time for the child, because soon he will begin a global restructuring of the body - psychological (new team, daily routine, requirements) and physiological (restructuring of the immune system, maturation of the cerebral cortex).

The further formation of his personality and awareness of his place in the family and society depend on how the child survives the 5-year-old crisis. By the end of the five-year crisis, important concepts are formed that determine the further development of the child.

Trust in parents and the world

Good: the child should feel that he is not alone, that the world is not against him - the world loves him. The baby learns to trust and share his experiences in difficult times. He does not withdraw into himself, is open to learning about the world, is friendly towards it and does not expect a trick.
Bad: if at a difficult moment a little person did not receive the necessary support, but received only reproaches and reproaches, his self-esteem in the future will seriously suffer. How to be brave and self-confident in a new team, in an unfamiliar environment, if you are used to feeling worse than others?

Formation of attachment

Good: by the end of the 5-year-old crisis, the child’s attachment to the parent reaches its peak; the baby will soon realize that he is always loved, even at a distance, and not just when he is physically nearby. This awareness will remain with him throughout his life. The crisis prepares for the next age stage and separation from parents (separation period at 7 years).
Bad: in a crisis, the child goes to extremes. If you do not provide support at the right time, move away, and reject childhood experiences, the baby may decide that he is not loved. In the future, he will not be sure that wherever he is, they are waiting for him and proud of him.

Forming a little man

While playing, children comprehend the world around them and find themselves in it. Therefore, at the age of 5, a boy’s toys should be purely masculine. Cars, plastic tool sets, machine guns, pistols, swords and much more are suitable. If he is drawn to dolls (this also happens), calmly but persistently explain to him that these are toys for girls, and he is a boy, and they simply do not suit him.

If you use the basics of psychology, raising a 5-year-old boy will not be difficult, because experts say that it is important to respect a small personality. This attitude will allow him to grow into a strong guy, and then into a wise, successful and noble man.

Difficulties in parenting at 4, 5 and 6 years old

Difficulties in upbringing arise when parents do not know the characteristics of children's behavior and constantly demand certain actions and achievements from the child, do not take into account his personal opinion, do not allow him to make decisions on his own, do not listen, constantly criticize, scold and humiliate.

In this case, the girl or boy completely closes down, stops trusting their parents, does everything in defiance and shows their character, does poorly at school, and then has problems in adult life.

To avoid difficulties in upbringing, you need to start using psychological methods; first of all, you should learn to ask politely, and not order and demand, to respond correctly to hysterics, and to develop your personality.

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