Hello!
Many people have this question: “How to behave with your husband?” may cause confusion. It's still so simple!
However, this “simply” of yours makes your relationship far from the most flawless. Or I'm wrong?
...Surely your husband no longer carries you in his arms.
...He doesn’t give gifts just like that, for you, from the heart. And he gives only because it is necessary. For some holiday.
...I’m generally silent about flowers.
...Says few kind words.
…Spends a lot of time watching TV, computer or with friends.
...Or maybe he started staying at work longer than usual?
...Most likely, he himself stopped striving for perfection and stopped developing.
...And in general, he doesn’t talk to you much and is silent about his problems.
...He doesn't listen to you.
…Doesn’t surprise, doesn’t seduce, doesn’t appreciate you the way you want!
...Sex with my husband is not so passionate and animalistic.
...Or maybe he doesn’t want you much at all?
Surely you are familiar with this! I receive a lot of letters like this with similar complaints about husbands. Yes, what letters? I already see everything myself, fortunately, there are a lot of examples of this.
So here it is. If you behave in a standard way, the same way almost all married girls behave, then, accordingly, you get exactly the same problems.
Yes! People are different, but they all behave the same. Everyone has identical problems, and they need to be solved somehow.
And guess what?
The man is responsible for the spoils. He must provide and protect you. He must be strong, powerful, aggressive, cunning, smart and a good provider. Otherwise, this is not a man, but God knows what!
And you must be responsible for the relationship. If you don’t do this, if you want to throw this burden onto a man’s shoulders, then the man will begin to resist one way or another. A man cannot participate in building relationships. This is as unnatural as working for a woman in a hard job.
Therefore, it is you who must steer this process.
If you still think that a man should be involved in relationships, then marry a fagot or a very feminine man. Then you will build relationships together. Only, it’s unlikely that you will love such a weakling.
Now let's look at the reasons for a man's behavior in marriage.
At first everything is great, he tries, surprises, says big words, takes care of himself, develops, stands behind you like a mountain, spends a lot of time with you, communicates, carries you in his arms... And then there is a decline.
Decline comes when he sees that the goal has been achieved. You are already his territory. He won you.
Since a man is essentially a hunter, he has the instinct of a warrior for territory; he simply needs to start conquering something else. At least something. Very necessary!
It is very good if he switches to gaining social status, begins to conquer business, builds a career, and breaks European records in sports. Or simply actively working on himself.
But more often it happens that a man switches to easier prey. These are other women. Fortunately, there are plenty of these territories around, and they just beckon - conquer me! And satisfying the hunter's instinct lasts for a long time. You can “conquer and conquer.” This is getting interesting.
And its own territory begins to be overgrown with grass. He no longer carries you in his arms. Doesn't give YOU gifts... And so on. He's just not interested!
As a result, we get this picture. Or he gives up caring for you and switches to self-development. Or other women.
I would also like to add that this is almost inevitable. It is inevitable that after conquering you, almost 100%, he will switch to other wars. It's just that a real man needs to fight to feel like a real man .
Of course, you can do something very stupid and start rebelling against this. And in the end, you will get that his territory will begin to really strain you, and it will be easier to start staying at work longer than usual or spending time with someone else. Well, or, if you rush to the edge, you will start to drink alcohol and degenerate in front of the TV.
But you’re not like that, are you? You want a successful relationship, right?
Then don't do what the majority does.
I will tell you how to behave with your husband and build a happy relationship far and long. I will make you very ideal for my man. )))
Remember! ALL! DEPENDS! ONLY! FROM YOU!
You must understand that you will have to get involved in a fight. But this is the struggle that all women whose relationships have faded dream about. And you will receive pleasant emotions constantly!
So. You are his territory. And he must fight for her! I want to emphasize - he must fight FOR YOU!
When a man fails to win a girl quickly, he gets involved in a fight. Tries different methods, tricks and tricks. Trying. He gets angry, comes up with something, is happy when he wins, gets upset when he loses. This game must not end!
The struggle can continue forever, and then give a chance, then take it away.
The trick is that by fighting with his territory, a man becomes attached to it. She becomes his goal, his meaning of life.
Let's look at specific actions. How should you proceed? How to behave with your husband?
You must be unavailable often.
He shouldn't tell himself - that's it! She's mine now! He should always have the feeling that you are far from him, that you are slightly cold with your husband.
For example, when you are sitting with your husband in an embrace and watching a movie, then get up and sit separately from him. Say it's more convenient for you. If he comes up to you, then ask him not to interfere with watching the movie. The film is more important than him at this point!
Make it so that he wakes up and you are not there. You sleep in another room. If he asks why you went to another room, then say that you just wanted to.
Rarely pick up the phone when he or you are at work. You're busy, period.
Why should you fulfill your marital duty? The best thing you can do is turn him on, excite him, and don't let him. Let him come up with a reason himself.
I want to say that you need to do this periodically so that he has doubts about your feelings for him.
Fight properly
In life, especially family life, it is impossible to do without quarrels. But it is important in the heat of the moment not to say too much, not to offend, not to humiliate a person.
To prevent this from happening, follow the basic rules of a quarrel :
- don't insult;
- sort things out immediately without accumulating resentment;
- do not quarrel or make harsh remarks in public;
- try to resolve the conflict before you go to bed, and in the same bed.
From this video you will learn about five mistakes that women make when quarreling with their loved ones:
He should always doubt your feelings.
Therefore, stop talking about them. Don't tell him you love him, don't tell him you want him.
If he offended you, then squeeze out a smile. He shouldn't know that he can play on your feelings. He will somehow provoke you into emotions, you need not to react to it. Let feelings boil in your soul - don’t show them!
Then he will make an effort and begin to try to unbalance you. Give more expensive gifts, perform stronger actions.
After sex with your husband, don’t say that you had a good time. Make it smarter. Praise. Say - TODAY you are great, and hide in the bathroom. Next time don't say anything. If he asks if you had a good time, then say it was better last time.
Take care of yourself
Never neglect your appearance. Give her special attention. Remember, you should always be the most beautiful woman for your man. Don't be afraid to change. Surprise a man with your beauty. He should always consider you the most irresistible and attractive. Marriage is not a reason to forget about your appearance. Some women forget about themselves after they get married, mistakenly believing that they have achieved the most important thing.
Remember, a man will be afraid of losing you if he sees that you are a self-sufficient and attractive woman. Do not think about unquestioningly fulfilling all his wishes and forgetting about yourself. If there is peace and harmony in your home, a man will never want to leave such a house. Know that everything is in your hands.
You must provoke him to emotions.
An emotionless life is boring. If we compare the emotional coefficient and the intellectual one, then the first is ten times stronger than the second. This means that a person is guided in life mainly by emotions.
If there is not enough emotion in family life, then the man will begin to look for it somewhere else. Can you guess where?
I want to focus on anger. A whole article could be written about this, but I will still write briefly about it in this article so that it is much more significant.
I want to show you a very subtle point. When a man gets angry, he is filled with power that women don’t know what to do with. And the man splashes it onto a foreign object. Breaks something or punches a wall.
You need to make sure that his anger grows into passion. Into animal and passionate sex!
As soon as you feel that your husband is beginning to grow cold towards you, or he is already acting quite coldly, then arouse anger in him and direct this energy into a sexual direction.
This can be done in different ways. You can get angry yourself and provoke a quarrel. You can simply provoke anger. In principle, it is not difficult to cause anger, but it is much more difficult to manage it.
As soon as you see that your husband is “seething” and is ready to throw out his energy, immediately provoke him to have sex. He will start up on his own and have a blast. You can provoke him with the words “Come on, fuck me harder”, “Is this all you can do?”, “Fuck me like a whore”, etc.
This will blow your mind both of you! And he will become addicted to you like a drug, because you give him emotions!
“No” to overprotection and control
A man needs personal space. Time that he can devote to communicating with friends, hobbies, or simply wanting to be alone with his thoughts. One. Without a wife.
And at such moments a woman feels abandoned, offended, unwanted and unloved.
What to do? Option two:
- by hook or by crook, leave your husband at home or go to a meeting with him, risking causing irritation on his part (yes, he will stay at home so as not to offend you, but mentally he will be where he was going);
- let go of your loved one with a light heart, and go about your own business.
There are many options: meeting with a friend, watching a movie, handicrafts, shopping, cafes, theater, beauty salon.
Isn't there any joy when your husband is not around? But this is already a problem, but not his, but your personal one, since no man is capable of being alone with his wife all the time - and this is normal.
And the fact that you dissolved in him is not very good. Try to step back, because the world has not come down like a wedge on your husband and his needs - there are many interesting areas of life in which you can realize yourself.
Think, shake yourself up - the solution will appear on the surface.
The other extreme would be endless calls and SMS messages, for example: “What are you doing?”, “When will you be?”, “Are you coming soon?”, “Have you eaten?”, “Why aren’t you answering?/You’re not picking up the phone,” etc. .
And this irritates men. Especially if it is repeated every five minutes.
At first he will answer normally, a little later - with nervousness, in the end, he may simply turn off the phone, plunging his wife into wild horror called “Something happened to him!”
Slow down. After all, he already has a mother, and he had enough control in childhood . Of course, you shouldn’t completely neglect calls, but you need to do this in moderation to make your husband want to call you himself.
How to understand that a man has fallen in love? We understand the signs by which you can understand what feelings a man has for you.
To make a man always attracted to you, you can use natural aphrodisiacs. They can be found in the form of drugs for women in pharmacies in your city.
How to plan a family budget for a month? We offer a convenient version of the table.
Watch the video - what to do to make a man appreciate you:
Be hard to get sometimes.
Often wives can walk around the house naked, change clothes in front of their husbands and calmly allow themselves to be touched.
This immediately indicates that the territory is under control. You need to be hard to get. Ideally, he shouldn’t see you naked outside of bed at all.
If he gets into your panties, then remove your hand and be embarrassed.
If he starts kissing your neck, push him away slightly and change the subject.
He shouldn't touch you wherever he wants and whenever he wants. Imagine that you don’t know each other well, and behave with your husband as if you were a stranger. This state will be transmitted to him, and it will start to turn him on. He will get involved in the fight. He's in the game!
Appearance
Often, a husband leaves because of his wife's sloppy appearance. How to behave in this case? Men love with their eyes and always evaluate the appearance of their spouse. Why do you need to preen yourself on the street, but for your loved one you can look anyhow?
You should always take care of yourself, but housewives especially often neglect this rule. What should you do if you notice something like this?
- Throw out stretched T-shirts and worn-out sweatpants from your home wardrobe so that you are not tempted to wear them.
- Buy beautiful home suits, slippers, sexy lingerie and pajamas.
- Take care of your hair even at home. At least just wash them in a timely manner and comb them.
- Apply a small amount of makeup before your husband arrives. The so-called makeup without makeup, it is invisible to men, but at the same time the woman begins to look fresh and young.
Mistake #8: Limiting communication with friends
Football, sauna, outings with friends. If all this was in your husband’s life before you, there is no need to deprive him of such pleasures after marriage. Just like you shouldn’t throw tantrums about your spouse’s interactions with people you don’t like. Believe me, the husband himself will figure out who to maintain a relationship with and what to do with friends, he is not ten years old. And if you really look at things, no matter how much you want, you will not be able to protect your spouse from either “bad boys” or “bad girls.” If your man wants to cheat, he doesn’t have to go to the bathhouse with friends; you can find a woman for one night at a business lunch in a restaurant.
Reasons why a husband does not leave the family after cheating
There is no need to despair. According to statistics, not all marriages affected by infidelity are doomed to divorce. The question is swirling in my head: why do spouses continue to live in families with mistresses? What ideas are they pursuing? Or maybe they're just afraid? As they say, a bird in the hand is better than a pie in the sky.
Psychologists claim that this is convenient for them. On the one hand, a faithful and caring legal wife who went through fire, water and copper pipes with him. She will always cure you, cook a delicious dinner, and take care of the children. How to get away from her?
On the other hand, a mistress is a passionate and free person, an interesting interlocutor, whose behavior is difficult to predict. She demands practically nothing, does not sacrifice herself in the name of her partner, which greatly attracts the cheater. These two women harmoniously complement his life. At the same time, even without loving his wife, a man is unlikely to leave her for his mistress. He's already comfortable.
The following reasons can be identified why spouses do not leave the family if they have a mistress:
- children;
- fear of being misunderstood by your loved ones, endless discussions about morality and family values;
- the risk of losing the status of a positive family man in the eyes of those close to him;
- financial well-being (fear of possible division of acquired property);
- I simply don’t want to openly conflict with my wife;
- fear of changing the usual way of life (moving to an unfamiliar woman, getting used to each other, organizing everyday life - these are far from the same romantic forays to your beloved);
- lack of love - yes, yes, absolutely not every man is in love with his new passion, often it is just an emotional release, a kind of entertainment and nothing serious;
- true love for his lawful wife.
Surely you have wondered whether men generally leave for their mistresses? According to statistics, only 10 out of 100 decide to do this. But! Even after leaving the family, a good half of these desperate walkers return to their spouse. But how a husband behaves after cheating on his wife and breaking up with his mistress is a completely different story.
Cheap manipulation
On the Internet you can find mind-blowing recommendations for regaining the attention and respect of a “cold husband.” They are associated with trips to fortune tellers, techniques for inciting jealousy and, in essence, are cheap manipulations over the will of another person.
A manipulator is a flawed, neurotic person who achieves his goals with flattery, helpfulness, the desire to cause jealousy, vigilant control, power suppression, in a word, anything but patience and respect for the feelings of another person.
It is much more honest, although more difficult, to talk about everything honestly and, if necessary, distance yourself for a while.
Tips for a happy family life
Rose-colored glasses are not suitable. It is better to remove them before the wedding vows are pronounced. There are no ideal people, and if you agree to this particular man’s proposal, it means that you are ready to accept him with all his advantages and disadvantages, and quite a few of them will probably emerge later. If you hope to re-educate and change a person to suit you, then this is completely wasted work that will bring nothing but disappointment and resentment.
Compromise. It will have to be done constantly in order to maintain a healthy climate in the family. It is just as impossible to endlessly adapt and give in as it is to constantly insist on your own, expecting understanding from your partner. Constant dialogue, understanding and the desire to avoid disputes over trifles, as well as making joint decisions on key issues, make spouses partners who are important and necessary to each other.
If you want to live happily, live secretly. And this is one of the most valuable tips. Do not expose problems that arise in the family to public view, do not allow strangers (even if they are close relatives) to interfere in your family life, do not ask your friends for advice, describing a controversial situation in all its colors. Everything that happens between two people should remain between them.
Skeletons in the closet. Everyone has a past life, each of the spouses. So this past life should remain there, there is no need to arrange an inquiry and extort from your spouse the details of his past adventures, and you should not dwell on this topic yourself either.
This frankness brings nothing but unfounded suspicions and creeping doubts. Disagreements happen to everyone, it is important to be able to make them a short film, and not turn them into a multi-part series with the prospect of development over several seasons. At the moment of a dispute, you should not start to sort things out by getting personal, remembering past grievances, or recalling old disagreements
If a dispute has arisen, argue on a specific topic, which will be exhausted there.
The best medicine is laughter. Including for relationships. If you stop laughing together, things are really wrong. A sense of humor, the ability to look at a situation from the other side, and reducing the importance of what is happening is a guarantee that the number of controversial situations will be much smaller, and those that arise will be resolved faster and more painlessly.
Interest. Retain the desire to surprise and delight your spouse. Remember how it was during the candy-bouquet period, when surprises were completely commonplace, when you wanted to do things for your other half just like that without a reason. Feeling your effort and interest, your partner will definitely respond to you in kind, in this case, do not forget to show gratitude, give compliments and, like the first time, be surprised and admired. Remember the most destructive things that are out of the question in a happy marriage: Contempt - all the partner’s undertakings are met with disdain, with some superiority and even disgust; from such an attitude, any person, even if he is very interested in you, will lose the desire for anything do that; Defense - forcing the spouse to constantly justify himself, inventing non-existent claims; Criticism - thinking that the partner’s actions are doomed to failure, citing the fact that “you know better” will lead to the person giving up and stopping even trying to take actions; Opposition is to assume in advance that the spouse is wrong, without even trying to understand the situation.
Remembers you throughout the day
Happy couples constantly communicate physically and emotionally, always in touch. If the marriage is strong, the partner takes time every day to show love and care. This could be funny emoticons or a call asking how you are feeling. To feel affection, a two-minute conversation on the phone is enough for a couple. The psychology of a man in love is such that if he is not around, he will remind you of himself in any way possible.
Personal space
Over the years, people have become annoying to each other. If from time to time you or your partner want to spend time separately, this is normal. Step away for a while and do your own thing: watch a TV series alone, go shopping, or just spend the evening in different rooms.
You shouldn’t cling to your partner and walk around hugging every minute. Giving each other the right to personal space and time is very important for a long-term harmonious relationship.
Illustration: Anna Guridova / Lifehacker
Test of Jealousy
In the modern world, girls often find it difficult to understand their feelings. Therefore, the vast majority of representatives of the fair sex rely on the “Am I in love test”.
Jealousy has always shown the true attitude towards a person. If in the presence of another lady with whom a man is having a casual conversation, you experience the most unpleasant feelings, then the test has been passed successfully.
A girl in love strives to intercept a man's attention in any way. Even stupid questions and funny behavior are used
If you experience burning jealousy, then with almost 100% probability we can say that you are in love.
Distribute responsibilities fairly
A woman, coming home from work, takes care of the housework, and her husband rests, saying that he is even more tired - this, unfortunately, is a common picture. But isn’t it better to help your wife and then relax together? This will only benefit your family relationships. We did the general cleaning together, and you can have fun together for the rest of the day - go to the park, ride a Ferris wheel to look at the romantic picture of the evening city from a bird's eye view, go to the cinema, do something else
. It’s not so much possible to behave this way with your wife, but necessary.
Mistake No. 10. Rest separately from each other
If your husband spends his vacation with friends and you spend his vacation with your girlfriends, this can have a bad effect on the marriage. Of course, you can afford such a trip for literally 2-3 days, but when we are talking about a longer period, it is better to spend it next to your other half. Still, vacation gives positive emotions and it’s good when you get them together, it’s good for the relationship.
Article on the topic
Turn your life into a holiday! Rules for a happy family life from a psychologist
Mistake No. 7. Preventing your husband from communicating with children from a previous marriage
Of course, a lot here depends on the man’s upbringing. Some quite easily part with children from previous marriages. But there are also those for whom such things become a real tragedy. And in such a situation, you should not force your husband to worry and be torn between you and the children, because this will inevitably lead to chronic conflicts. If you have already married a divorced man, be kind enough to treat his “baggage” from his past life with understanding.
Article on the topic
Our new family. How to find a common language with children from previous marriages?
The ability to talk even about unpleasant things
When young people begin to build relationships, they really want to please each other and do not always express dissatisfaction. As a rule, true desires and preferences begin to be shared after the wedding. Here the couple is overtaken by showdowns and problems. I, too, was sometimes silent, because it seemed to me that there was no need to tell my partner unpleasant things. But now I understand that this is a mistake: discontent accumulates and spills out. You can't be silent in a family.
Harboring grievances and complaints is setting off a time bomb. Imagine that a guy likes chubby girls, but his partner is unhappy with herself. He makes cute jokes like “My little teddy, donut, you have folds here, a tummy,” and to her these words seem like real insults that undermine self-confidence. At first she is silent, and then in an aggressive form expresses that he considers her fat and ugly. The woman is offended, but the man does not understand what happened: everything was fine before. Such little things can lead to serious consequences - from quarrels to separation.
Tries to surprise
When a man loves a woman, he looks for ways to refresh his feelings and diversify his everyday life. The husband is interested in what his wife likes, remembers the little things that make her smile.
The husband prepares meaningful gifts - what his beloved dreamed or wanted to have, guesses wishes, presents surprises.
We are not talking about expensive things, these could be:
- homemade breakfast or dinner;
- favorite candy or ice cream;
- flowers given for no reason;
- tickets to a film premiere.
A husband who loves a woman makes her dreams come true and helps her achieve what she wants. He realizes his wife's plans to start a business or fantasize about a trip to Paris.
How to understand that a man is in love with you
One of the elements whose actions no one has yet been able to predict with one hundred percent accuracy is love. She, like a spark, can flash and ignite two hearts, but also go out at the same moment.
How men can show their feelings
The restive representatives of the stronger sex prefer to hold their emotions tightly, rarely letting them out.
- At some point, it may even seem that they are afraid of the woman who is with them.
- However, this animal fear can over time develop into a real problem that will prevent further relationships from developing.
- Even if the feelings are strong enough, the lover may be in no hurry to show them.
- Most often this happens if there is an overwhelming fear of starting a new relationship.
- In addition, if the gentleman notices that his chosen one is not yet ready to be together, his steps towards rapprochement will not move in the right direction.
