How to get a guy back after a breakup: 9 secrets

Do you know the feeling of aching melancholy, because of which life begins to seem so meaningless that you don’t even have the strength to get out of bed. Despair, anxiety, pain of loss, depression - all these are typical symptoms of separation when a loved one suddenly decides that there is no point in continuing this relationship. You can come to terms with the situation, grind through your feelings and start living again. If a lot of time and effort has been invested in the relationship, and the girl thinks that the reason for everything was a simple misunderstanding, then it makes sense to try to get her soulmate back.

If he quit and doesn't want to communicate

The girl found herself in a difficult situation. A dear man left her on his own initiative. Although many couples prefer to maintain contact, the beloved refused to even remain friends. The guy completely excluded his ex from his life, cut off all ties and decided to ignore her.

When the panic and confusion subsides a little, you need to draw up a clear action plan. First you have to find answers to two important questions:

Why did he decide to break up?
Why doesn't he want to see each other?

Many in the girl’s shoes would prefer to remain in blissful ignorance and not find out the circumstances of the breakup, so as not to once again open up a mental wound that is just beginning to heal. In this situation, when distance prevents you from simply talking, it is better to go all the way for three reasons:

The girl will no longer be tormented by guesses.
She will be able to understand whether her partner still has feelings for her.
If the reason was in her actions or behavior, then this experience will help her work on her mistakes.

In this case, it is necessary to find out the reason for the breakup, without which it is impossible to return the man. There is an old saying that says that both partners are always to blame for a breakup, so there is also a bit of the girl’s fault in the situation.

Reason for separation

The main reason that justifies a girl’s desire to return a guy is love. If you are sure that the man is worth it and are ready for improvement and change, find a compromise that will increase the chances of achieving your goal. Repairing your relationship requires a plan of action, but first, identify the reason for the breakup. If you miss a little thing, the restored union will fall apart.

If you infected the breakup, it's easier to get your guy back. Admit your guilt and apologize. It doesn’t matter whether there were good reasons for the separation. Otherwise, restoring the relationship is pointless. Demonstrate love, the ability to admit mistakes and forgive offenses.
The reason for the breakdown of relationships is sometimes a nervous situation. The guy could not withstand the emotional pressure caused by your complaints about life and life’s problems. Remember, a man doesn't have to say everything. Be positive and strive for balance and optimism. The guy will like such changes.
Jealousy, frequent quarrels, boiling passions are common reasons. Under such conditions, the relationship will not be long-term. Most likely, the man decided to make his existence easier. Control your emotional state and pull yourself together. Psychological training will help restore mental balance.
The guy left of his own free will. Think about what prevented the breakup. Surely he was trying to express his complaints. Determine what irritated the man. By making a list of points, you will understand what needs to be worked on to restore the relationship.

Having determined the reason for the separation, begin to draw up an action plan, trying to act correctly. Advice and recommendations on how to restore broken relationships await you ahead.

If he has a girlfriend

When the man lost interest, he found someone else and the chances of renewing the relationship were approximately 50/50. Everything will depend on the situation. Love and passion fade over time if partners do not try to maintain this smoldering flame. You constantly need to feed it with energy, make an effort, not only accept, but also give it yourself.

One of the most common mistakes young couples make is moral immaturity, when they are already trying to build a serious relationship, but are not ready to make sacrifices for it.

If the coals have not yet cooled down, the flames of passion and love can be rekindled with renewed vigor. The other woman in his life may just be a fling. She revives in him feelings that the man has not experienced for a long time. A good shake-up is a natural desire of a person mired in the domestic routine of a long-term relationship.

New love will pass quickly, but the emptiness in the heart will not go away. Many men, after a series of relationships without obligations, return to the family to their former lovers. It is possible that this is a reminder of their natural polygamy.

When a man left for another after lying and cheating with his mistress, then you should think ten times before making any attempts to restore the relationship. Is it worth your effort? Maybe it's time to take off your rose-colored glasses and give up trying to restore this fragile sand castle?

If you quit yourself

When a relationship is destroyed on the initiative of a girl, and then she realizes that she made the wrong decision, restoring it is quite simple. Everyone makes mistakes, so it's okay to admit your mistake and offer to pick up where you left off. There is only one important nuance here - no one wants to be a toy in the wrong hands.

According to psychologists, most couples break up due to high expectations. Girls dream of fairy-tale princes, but get completely different life partners. It is extremely important to understand what do you want for yourself? The man of your dreams or the imperfect person who loves you and is loved by you?

It is possible to get a guy back after such a breakup, because his feelings will not disappear in one day, but the resentment will not go away. The girl will have to go a long way to regain the trust of her loved one. That is why it is worth carefully weighing the pros and cons before leaving your partner.

Psychological subtleties of separation

Parting with a loved one is a lot of stress and stress on the psyche. Before you return a man, you need to think about what everyone got from the breakup:

Calm. Something was always going wrong for the lovers.
Free time. Previously, all personal space was occupied by a partner.
Energy. All efforts were spent on maintaining harmony in the union.
Satisfaction. There are many negative aspects left in the past.
Ability to make independent decisions. The loved one controlled every step of the other half.
Logics. Due to strong feelings, one of the partners did not notice obvious things.

READ How to attract your husband's attention and strengthen your relationship
This does not always happen. After a breakup, a girl often falls into depression, the consequences of which are:

Accumulation of resentment and understatement.
Constant hysterics.
Obsessive “I was abandoned” complex.
Avoidance of the usual social circle, inner emptiness.
The desire for revenge.

If it’s her own fault: she cheated

Many people expect that the surprises, romance and passion that start a relationship will continue into a long-term relationship. When routine gradually poisons life together, partners look for thrills on the side.

At first it could be innocent meetings with nice acquaintances and correspondence. The boundaries of what is permitted are gradually pushed back, and now one of the partners decides to betray. This is the psychology of betrayal. A person is weak and follows his desires. Falling in love passes, but the awareness of a terrible mistake remains. Adultery can completely destroy a relationship or become the second starting point in it. In any case, life will be divided into “before” and “after”.

Is it possible to get your loved one back after your own betrayal? Unfortunately, it all depends on the character and principles of the man. Some can forgive and overcome their pride, but for others, adultery puts an end to future relationships.

If the partner has not yet lost interest in the girl, which most often forces him to keep her at a distance, then the chances of returning his beloved man after breaking up are still great. In this situation, you need to strike while the iron is hot. Any mistakes can be corrected, and misunderstandings disappear if both partners are frank. In any case, the girl has nothing to lose, so there is no point in keeping secrets. To get your ex back after your own betrayal, you will have to build the relationship from scratch.

Ways to get your ex and his feelings back

Should you communicate online or on the phone with your ex?

You shouldn’t call the guy yourself and always be the first to write to the guy, but you need to support his initiative. It’s true that it’s important not to overdo it here either. Reply calmly and friendlyly - with a message for a message, and not three messages for one. From time to time, you can take the first step yourself - for example, congratulate them on some major holiday. Based on the guy's answer, you will understand whether he wants to communicate with you further.

In general, he should see that you do not spend your days on VK. Live real life by visiting your social network page only from time to time.

What to write to him to touch his feelings

You can just write that you miss him. Also, in the ensuing correspondence, it would not be amiss to mention that you passed by the place where your first date took place, and these memories made you smile. Carefully touch on the topic of shared pleasant memories.

How to behave when meeting him

First of all, you must be well-groomed, rested, and positive. There is no need to show the guy with all your appearance that you are not getting enough sleep at night because of the breakup with him. You should arouse not pity in the young man, but interest.

Imagine that in front of him is an unfamiliar girl. What do you think will make him want to get to know her more closely - a feeling of pity or some other emotion? You should proceed from the same considerations. Guys are attracted by their bright appearance, charisma, charm, sense of humor, positive mood, and your boyfriend is probably no exception.

Jealousy of other guys, how it will help

Of course, you shouldn’t start a new relationship immediately after breaking up with a guy, especially if you want to get your ex-lover back. However, he must understand that you are of interest to the opposite sex. If at a given period of time you do not have real fans, then nothing prevents you from creating the appearance of them. Periodically, in a conversation with your boyfriend or mutual friends, say that a new acquaintance is inviting you to the cinema. You can also post a bouquet of flowers on your social network page - even one photo without any comments will be enough to provoke the jealousy of your ex-boyfriend. Thus, his sense of ownership will surge and the “hunting instinct” will turn on again.

Spells and magic as a means of getting a guy back

Some girls believe that magic can help them regain lost love. If you are one of them, you can find a suitable conspiracy on the Internet. Please note that some magical rituals may require a photograph of your lover. Try not to resort to companies that offer their services on the Internet - a large percentage of them are scammers. Expect that you can handle the ritual yourself - as a rule, special websites dedicated to magic give very detailed instructions.

How to return

Regardless of the reasons for which the couple broke up, in order for the partners to date again, they need time to think. This break needs to be used wisely and carefully analyze your life, relationships, expectations and desires. In order for a person to move on, he needs breaks. It is possible that there is no point in returning something that never suited both partners.

Restoration of relations should be carried out only when both see some prospects.

If partners are going nowhere, then it’s time to extricate themselves from the sweet captivity of self-deception. Time is the most valuable resource in a person’s life; you should not invest this asset in a relationship without a future. If, nevertheless, the union with your ex has prospects, then it’s time to start restoring the relationship.

Conspiracies

Conspiracies are a means in which not everyone believes. Some are afraid of magic, while others are skeptical about it. We do not suggest trying a powerful love spell that can make a man love a woman for whom he has no feelings. It's more about getting him ready to restore the relationship.

Spells and conspiracies also help to bring back a loved one if he is already with someone else. Here, too, we are not talking about depriving a person of choice. A light affair will end in any case, but magic can bring this outcome closer when a person finally understands who his heart lies with.

You can get your ex-boyfriend back without using black magic and turn to the forces of light. Matronushka is one of the patrons of lovers. You can read a prayer over the icon of the Matrona of Moscow. According to legend, during her lifetime the old woman not only healed the sick, but also taught those who came for advice on how to establish peace in the family or get married.

Is it necessary to bring the guy back at all?

Now you are busy looking for an answer on how to behave in order to return your ex-boyfriend’s feelings to you. But the fact is that without having time to recover emotionally, you risk being involved in the same cycle of problems. You two need time.

Under no circumstances should you restore a relationship with a person who used physical force or abused you mentally. Very often, girls become dependent on such relationships because they experience an inexplicable attraction and desire to submit. If you recognize yourself in this description, you should definitely consult a psychologist or psychotherapist for advice.
If your relationship with your ex-boyfriend was filled with scandals, hysterics and tears, then ask yourself the question “Why do I need this?” To get a thrill, it is better to play sports, jump with a parachute, or get yourself a spider as a pet.

My past relationships had exactly this unhealthy pattern of behavior. I felt that my partner did not accept the real me. I constantly had to adapt, pretend to be someone else. There were regular quarrels with breaking dishes, once he even broke a chair. I started to be afraid of him. But I was kept close by strong emotions that I could not get otherwise. As a result, this relationship was severed on my initiative. They left a deep mark on my psychological state and health in general.

Such relationships are not suitable for the long term, and will only contribute to your personal destruction.

Dear girls and women, you definitely want to know whether it is possible to return a guy’s love? Of course you can. But is it necessary? Decide for yourself. A relationship should help the development of both partners, be a source of inspiration, support and a place where you both want to return.

Girls' mistakes

When trying to get their loved one back, girls make mistakes:

When a guy does not want to make contact, you cannot force him to do so. The worst option is obsessive stalking. If he doesn’t want to see or talk to his ex, then he needs to act more gracefully and create conditions under which he will have to reconnect at least temporarily. Then, in a heart-to-heart conversation, you can sort things out. This break needs to be used wisely. The girl will have time for moral rest and recuperation.
Returning to the previous relationship is impossible if the partners do not want to be sincere. This is an eternal problem for women. They stubbornly look for shortcomings in themselves, become fixated on complexes, are afraid to show themselves not at their best, and as a result, their behavior becomes artificial. Although men really look at the world differently, their natural thick skin still does not prevent them from noticing this falseness in their chosen one. If a person refuses to be real, it means he wants to hide something.
When a woman has important secrets, it indicates that she does not trust her partner. This is the logical chain that is built in a man’s head. Although every girl dreams of playing the main role on the stage of her life, the performance usually ends, and by that time there may be no spectators left in the hall. A man is not trained to understand a woman's feelings without words. You need to put aside embarrassment and fears, talk frankly and finally sort things out.
The girl must come down from heaven to earth. Illusions destroy any relationship, so you need to prepare for a painful collision with harsh reality. When a woman’s feelings for a man have not faded away, she is often ready to make any compromises and concessions just to get him back. This is the wrong approach. Being a victim will not lead you to happiness. In the worst case scenario, the partner will simply begin to manipulate his companion in order to get what he wants from her.
Don't forget about yourself, beloved. This is one of the serious mistakes of women who, after the loss of a loved one, stop taking care of themselves, devouring buckets of ice cream and tons of candy. Chocolate really stimulates the production of the happiness hormone, but in addition to this, it also contributes to the formation of fat deposits. How does a girl in a greasy robe and with a crow's nest on her head plan to get her loved one back? You can take a break for a few days, but when you feel like the apathetic state is dragging on, you urgently need to get out of this quagmire.

During the pause, engage in self-development and self-improvement

In order not to do anything stupid during a breakup, the girl should outline a clear development plan for herself in the near future. If possible, take a vacation and make an unforgettable trip. New impressions, a change of scenery, exciting cruises - everything will benefit you. You will return from the resort as a rested and positive person.

At home, you should accept that your relationship is over. You shouldn’t grieve about them, hope for something or get hung up on it. There are many other things and hobbies in life.

You are on the path to self-improvement. Here you should to some extent deceive your consciousness, filling it with other things and thoughts.

Work on yourself, improve. An interesting girl will always be popular with guys. It doesn't hurt to take care of your appearance. Change your hairstyle, change your clothing style. Surely he will be intrigued, even if he pretends that he doesn’t care. During a breakup, a girl is very vulnerable, her self-esteem suffers. You should always tell yourself that you are the one and only, you were created for love and creation. The sooner you understand this and value yourself more highly, the more interesting you will be to your ex-boyfriend. Your favorite job, endless household chores, new acquaintances or physical exercise will help you on the path to improvement. The simplest thing is to go to the gym or dance. You will not only improve your figure, but also get incredible pleasure from physical activity. Exercise will help improve your mental state.

Considering that there will definitely be men in the gym, you can receive compliments, thereby raising your self-esteem.

Astrology

Astrology gives its answers to the question of how to get a guy back. The mysterious world of zodiac signs lives by special rules. You can find an approach to every man if a woman knows about his weaknesses, which are revealed by astrologers.

Zodiac sign	Character traits	How to return
Aries	Impulsiveness, stubbornness, unforgivingness	He quickly cools down, forgets insults, but does not admit his mistakes. He is susceptible to flattery, so you need to drown him in compliments and show your defenselessness.
Taurus	Touchiness, stubbornness, practicality.	He rarely leaves on impulse because he makes only informed decisions. The woman must present compelling logical arguments that will convince him to continue the relationship.
Twins	Energy, changeability, impulsiveness.	He may return on his own if he realizes that the decision was made hastily. To renew contact, you need to find the right moment and act decisively.
Cancer	Narcissism, impressionability, suspiciousness	What he values most is comfort. Surround him with care, and he will offer to renew the relationship himself.
a lion	Impulsiveness, stubbornness, lust for power	There are two scenarios for the development of events. You can surround yourself with fans to show him what he's missing, or you can use flattery to show him how much he is needed. Leo will be eager to get a strong woman and will not resist requests to protect the weak.
Virgo	Touchiness, stubbornness, discipline.	It is difficult to win him back, since he usually makes the decision to break up due to accumulated grievances. The only option is repentance and begging for forgiveness.
Scales	Indecision, non-conflict, stubbornness.	He usually leaves because he has found another woman who is closer to his ideal. If you eliminate your rival, you will return the man. Open dialogue and discussion of problems will help restore relationships.
Scorpion	Uncompromising, narcissistic, vindictive.	He will return if he is shown how much he is needed. Fall for flattery.
Sagittarius	Indecisiveness, sensitivity, kindness.	You can get it back if you act persistently and clearly demonstrate how much you have changed.
Capricorn	Stubbornness, integrity, rationality	He doesn’t like change, he leaves forever, so it will be difficult to restore the relationship. To get him back, you need to earn his trust again, which is very difficult.
Aquarius	Inconstancy, impulsiveness, impressionability.	He himself can leave and return many times. It is enough to remain interesting to him.
Fish	Contradiction, rationalism, love of freedom.	It is strictly forbidden to press on him. He doesn't like pressure. You just need to stay nearby to support him at the right time.

Advice from psychologists

Psychologists recommend not making important decisions immediately after a breakup. During this period, the woman is filled with resentment, so she will act under the influence of impulse, and this is risky. You can make a mistake, which you will later regret. Meeting your ex in this state will only once again convince him of the correctness of his decision to break up. Although hysterics are valid only in cases where someone is watching them, let a friend or someone else be the witness, but only for the man he loves.

Although they like weak women, next to whom they can feel like a strong and courageous protector, this is not the case. A humiliated, morally depressed girl in tears will not cause him anything other than a mixture of pity and disgust, so get your pride out of the dark basement. The time has come to resuscitate her. The hardest period is the first week, when the force of habit makes itself felt.