If a husband does not want intimacy with his wife, there may be many reasons for this. After the wedding, they begin to get used to each other, which has a detrimental effect on feelings and relationships. That is why most divorces occur on the anniversary and third anniversary of the wedding. But even couples who have weathered a crisis with dignity can have problems.
As time passes and children are born, more and more discontent arises. Everyday disagreements, lack of mutual understanding, the need to work and earn more, even the influence of relatives can negatively affect any union. Including sexual relationships.
Only by figuring out why the husband does not want his wife, establishing the reason and eliminating it, can you return your intimate life.
Its advantages
In fact, if a guy doesn’t want a relationship, he says so directly, but avoiding intimacy is a stupid and incomprehensible act. It turns out that the reluctance to have sex has another hidden meaning. The advantages here can only be seen if you have recently met your partner and have not yet had your “first time”. In this case, everything indicates that the man is not trying to use you and, most likely, is afraid of losing you. In this case, a smart girl will not rush things and show her depraved sides. Most men take the first step themselves, and in general this is correct.
However, one should not go to extremes and pretend to be an “impregnable fortress.” Not all men like to get sex from a girl. If a well-mannered guy sees that the girl is not ready, most likely he will not insist. Sometimes the question is asked differently: “The guy wants me. What to do?" If you are not ready, then you should be open about it and not lie.
Advice for pregnant women and young mothers
If a husband does not want his pregnant wife because he is worried about her health, a confidential conversation with a gynecologist can correct the situation. If the basis is the nervousness of the expectant mother, then a calm atmosphere, care and attention will return the desire for intimacy. When a woman says that “my husband doesn’t want me after giving birth,” perhaps the fact is that not enough time has passed. Wait a couple of months and intimacy will return.
If your child takes up all your time and thoughts, and your spouse has long faded into the background, try the following:
- While there is a ban on full-fledged sex life, engage in oral sex. This way, your husband will understand that he is still important to you, he will be able to fully relax, and mutual understanding will not leave the family.
- The birth of a baby is not a reason to forget about yourself. Clean clothes, walks in the fresh air, simple but cute hair styling, at least minimal exercise will allow you to remain attractive, even if the child is capricious and demanding. You certainly cannot forget about yourself.
Less nervousness, more affection and interest in each other, and everything will be fine.
What psychologists advise
Sexual health problems are a sensitive topic that people try to avoid. Ladies rarely talk openly about this to their partners; most often they go to their friends for advice. Those, based on personal experience (and sometimes simply out of harm), can give recommendations that will only aggravate the situation. Psychologists advise not to do this under any circumstances. The best thing to do is talk to your partner. If a guy doesn’t want to communicate, then this is a serious problem in the relationship that needs to be solved. In most cases, the couple manages to find a solution to the problem after a frank conversation.
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Advice from a psychologist on what to do if the husband does not sleep with his wife
Recommendations from psychologists for women:
- Try something new in your sex life - positions, unusual places. Do something you haven't tried before.
- Start working with yourself: change the way you communicate with your spouse, discover a new hobby, pay more attention to your appearance.
- Stay alone with your spouse more often.
- Show your husband that you trust him, allow him to solve any issues on his own, praise him.
Refusal after birth
The practice of joint childbirth does not benefit everyone. It is worth understanding that for a woman this is a normal physiological process, but for a man in most cases it is a shock. Agree that it is much better to cope with the task of giving birth yourself than, for the sake of fashion, to insist on the presence of your spouse in the labor room, where he will lose consciousness and get in the way of the obstetricians.
You can forget firmly and for a long time that after such stress he would be passionate again and constantly want intimacy. In the worst case - forever.
It is possible to go to the maternity room together only if there is mutual desire, appropriate preparation and moral stability; in other cases, it is not worth the risk.
How to bring back passion?
We have discussed the reasons why a husband does not sleep with his wife. Now let's find out how to deal with this. You cannot turn a blind eye to the lack of intimate life.
Tip No. 1. Talk and help from doctors
The first thing to do is talk. Enter into a calm dialogue, without complaints or accusations. Perhaps it is in this process that it will be possible to find out what is causing the cooling and, through joint efforts, change the situation.
Attention! Representatives of the stronger sex are often afraid to talk about the fact that their potency has disappeared due to poor health. You should find out everything carefully, without pressure. It is important to persuade your partner to seek medical help, the sooner the better. Most diseases today can be successfully treated.
Tip No. 2. Get proper rest
Why doesn't a husband want to sleep with his wife? If he complains about a busy work schedule and mental fatigue, stress or depression, try giving him more rest. It’s ideal if you can take a vacation and change your environment for a while. It's better to leave together. A beach holiday, a good night's sleep, a sea breeze or new places and experiences can relax a person, restore the desire to live and, accordingly, have fun.
Tip No. 3. Returning the figure
If a husband does not want a wife after childbirth due to changes in her appearance, he should take care of himself. Proper nutrition, water balance, and exercise can work wonders. In a short period of time, you can change beyond recognition and regain your passion. If you manage to go dancing or yoga, you will improve your emotional background, learn to move beautifully, maintain your posture and find a hobby. All this has a positive effect on marriage bonds.
Tip #4: Positive Changes
What to do if your husband doesn't want you? Try to change. Change your hairstyle or hair color, change your wardrobe, learn how to do light, “at-home” makeup. You can take massage courses, study strip plastic. If you're used to wearing sneakers and jeans, it's time to wear dresses and shoes. If you have always been a fatal beauty, try to become a gentle romantic person. Changing your role is useful not only for improving your relationship with your partner, but also for yourself. It’s always interesting to discover a different side of yourself, discover hidden talents and learn new things.
Tip #5: Stop being submissive
If a husband avoids his wife, the reason may be that she is too dissolved in him, in the family. Being an accommodating, comfortable spouse is not the best position. The stronger sex is determined to hunt, to conquer. What already belongs to the guy is not interesting to him. Therefore, it is important to be able to remain mysterious, be an individual, and defend your interests.
It’s enough to start changing your outlook on life. Learn something new every day, make friends, find something you enjoy doing, and make time for yourself to relax outside the home at least once in a while. All this will shake up the swamp at home and light a fire in love.
For herself, not for others, a girl should be able to earn money. Let it be part-time if, for example, she is on maternity leave. But you can always turn your hobby into income. Can you draw well? Open painting courses. Do you know English perfectly? Children who need help with this language are waiting for you. Or maybe you are good at knitting, or bake delicious pies, or adore cats? All this will bring income with proper activity and ingenuity.
Tip No. 6. Diversify your life
If a husband does not sleep with his wife, the reason may be boredom and monotony. Try to surprise him. Cook a new dish, buy movie tickets for the last showing, have a massage by candlelight, or go to a distant recreation center in the forest for the weekend. Invent, be original, live and make everything around you sparkle! Let it not be boring with you.
Tip No. 7. Experiment with intimacy
Finally, try adding some variety to your sex. Unusual places and times, small erotica, romantic messages and sexy photographs, new lingerie and poses, exciting promises and actions, oral sex and dancing by candlelight... There is a large choice, you just need to set the goal to study the issue and make intimacy enchantingly wonderful.
Men get excited if they know that their loved one is not wearing underwear. Try to get the two of you out of the house, for example, to the theater, and casually share this juicy detail. The result will surprise you!
Other methods to get your sex life back:
- learn your favorite poses from the Kama Sutra in practice,
- invite your spouse to take a shower or bath together,
- rent a hotel with a jacuzzi for the night,
- try sex toys,
- play erotic games,
- get to know each other's fantasies,
- express emotions more clearly in sex,
- don't be afraid to be passionate and wild.
Too monotonous sex life4
One of the main problems of Russians is insufficient sex education. Unfortunately, our people like to go from one extreme to another. Either bland sex in the missionary position all your life, or changing partners several times a month and sex life without reasonable restrictions.
Now we are not talking about raising teenagers, but about the insufficient knowledge and skills of already formed couples. For some reason, some of our girls think that lying on the bed and pretending to be a motionless and silent figure (to say the least) is quite erotic. The strong half of humanity also has similar complaints. And some people simply don't know how to make intercourse a truly wonderful experience. All this leads to the fact that sex ceases to be enjoyable.
A similar picture can be treated by reading literature of a sexual nature, which can now be found in any bookstore. Adult films will also help. New positions, new types of sex, paraphernalia from a sex shop. Believe me, experimentation and variety in the area of intimacy will make your partner want sex every night. Otherwise, we will all be bored by the same actions.
Instead of solving the problem, you can create complexes in yourself, like the boyfriend/husband has stopped loving you, “I have become ugly,” and so on from the list. But saving drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves. If your young man is passive, take the solution to the problem into your own graceful hands. And the above tips will help you.
Sources used:
- https://plachu.net/krizis-otnoshenij/muzh-ne-hochet-blizosti-s-zhenoj
- https://peopletalk.ru/article/pochemu-mujchina-bolshe-tebya-ne-hochet/
- https://favoritca.com/otnosheniya-v-brake/problemy-v-seme/muz-ne-hocet-blizosti-s-zenoj-priciny.html
- https://intrigue.dating/vse-o-sekse/paren-ne-hochet-seksa-v-poiskah-prichin-i-sposobov-ispravit-situa-iu/
Lack of intimacy is the result of stress
The modern rhythm of a big city puts a person in a state of tension. The accelerated pace of modern life, troubles in the workplace, conflict situations - all this negatively affects well-being. Stress leaves a huge mark on the potency of the stronger sex.
It is clear that in such a state nothing will work. Not every person is able to instantly disconnect from problems. Or maybe you just don’t have enough strength for intimacy.
Perhaps your man devotes all his strength to work, and, no matter how sad it is, you simply don’t have any left for you. Some men are so passionate about their work that they enjoy it more than sex with their beloved wife.
Various dependencies
Negative habits have already ruined the lives of many couples. These include:
- alcohol;
- drugs and cigarettes;
- computer;
- gluttony.
Each of these addictions affects a man’s body in its own way. Alcohol helps you relax, but if you drink more than you need, your sexual desire decreases and you want to sleep. And if this happens after a hard day at work, then full sex is out of the question. If you really want to drink and relax, then a glass of good wine is perfect.
Drugs and cigarettes have a detrimental effect on sexual health. Some important male organs even begin to behave unpredictably. These substances can also affect attraction to the opposite sex. Perhaps you should help your man quit these bad habits.
Computer addiction is on par with the previous two. Sometimes a man cannot tear himself away from his gadget for hours. Well, when all the news has been read and the games have been played, you don’t really want sex anymore. Because of this addiction, many young people cannot find a partner at all. The guy doesn’t want to date girls, because spending time on the computer is much more interesting for him.
Food can also be a barrier to good sex. And all because it is extremely inconvenient to do this with a full stomach. Dinner should not be too greasy and light. It’s good if it contains natural aphrodisiacs:
- greenery;
- seafood;
- nuts;
- chocolate.
Feminine attractiveness
This may also be the reason why intimacy with a loved one becomes a very rare occurrence. And we are not talking about impeccable beauty or ideal weight. But a woman near a man should always be neat and clean. The same applies to housing. When there is chaos and chaos all around, and the wife has many holes in her tights and robe, such an environment in itself is not conducive to intimacy. Do some spring cleaning, light some scented candles and put on some killer lingerie. But at the same time, you don’t need to jump on a man and demand intimacy from him. Act as if nothing happened.
