Depression: why nothing makes you happy? How to bring back the joy of life?

The main causes of depression and similar conditions:

Loss of loved ones, pets;
Loss of important relationships;
Accidents, disasters and other life-threatening situations;
Moving to another city, changing jobs, changing social circles;
Even seemingly positive changes in life such as marriage and the birth of a child;
Systematic conflicts at work or at home;
Disappointments, betrayals, collapse of hopes and plans.

Everyone probably encounters periods in life when joy disappears somewhere. Only some people can cope with and survive this period with relative ease, allowing themselves to be sad, complain to friends, get angry at others and begin to feel joy again, while others get stuck in dullness and despondency for many weeks, months and even years.

What is interest?

To understand how to regain interest in life and why to do it, as the psychologist says, you must first understand what interest is. “Interest is getting some benefit. Where are all our desires directed? Of course, to states when we always want to experience something, to experience something. Our whole interest is in getting some kind of result, impressions,” says Tatyana Balashova. But sometimes a person loses this interest.

Society insists on finding the meaning of life, on being more effective, insists on quick gratification, quick solutions. From every corner you can hear: “Act, Achieve, Don’t waste time.”

“The constant noise in my head and constant fatigue accumulate every day. A person lives from Friday to Friday, counting the hours until the weekend. But the weekend passes, and the fatigue remains as it was. Loss of strength leads to loss of ability to work. Dissatisfaction with yourself and your results appears. Unachieved goals, constant disruption of plans - this has become especially relevant at the present time. There is a desire to hide from negative emotions, thereby a person seems to forbid himself to feel. The eternal bustle in the race for achievements and the attempt to force oneself to work even more leads to the fact that a person ultimately does not understand why he is doing it, and loses the meaning,” says Tatyana Balashova.

Now very often people come to psychotherapists with suppressed feelings and needs, the specialist notes.

Zero emotions and strange interests. Doctor about signs of mental disorders Read more

Signs of Depression

“Loss of joy” in psychological language is called depression . Signs of depression include:

Depressed mood for more than 7-10 days;
Decreased vital activity;
Loss of appetite;
Sleep disturbance;
Poor health – lethargy, apathy, drowsiness, disturbances at the level of the gastrointestinal tract;
Decreased sexual desire;
Inhibition at the level of feelings and thoughts.

Such a psychological difficulty can be either mild in nature, easily amenable to psychological correction, or be a mental illness (in medical language it is called endogenous depression). Most often, depression is caused by purely psychological reasons, when the help of a clinical psychologist or psychotherapist is required.

Treatment of depression

If your mood is very low, it is important not to postpone your visit to a specialist, but to seek help in a timely manner. At the first meeting, the specialist will conduct a psychological diagnosis , after which he will determine the necessary methods of psychological assistance. It is very difficult, and sometimes impossible, to get rid of depression on your own, since special psychological defense mechanisms operate in the human psyche that do not allow a sober assessment of the situation, understanding the causes of the problem, or looking at the circumstances objectively. Our psyche is created in such a way that it distorts the perception of reality in a certain way, based on our upbringing, experience, habits and stereotypes.

It is important to know that traditionally in medical institutions all types of depression are treated with psychotropic drugs. In the case where depression is caused by psycho-emotional reasons (and this is the overwhelming number of requests), this approach has proven to be ineffective, because the very reason for the development of the disorder is not eliminated, but only the external manifestations of depression are artificially muffled. As a result, some time after the end of treatment, depression returns again. In addition, the use of psychotropic drugs entails side effects. Therefore, in addition to taking medications (antidepressants), qualified psychotherapy is very important.

Manifestations

Symptoms that signal internal troubles in a person are quite recognizable. You can try hard not to notice them for a while, but then they will flood into your consciousness as an uncontrollable wave. Let's take a closer look at the signs of this depressing state.

Feeling empty

The person is pierced by fatigue and ever-increasing anxiety. The feeling of emptiness occurs due to a strong waste of internal energy. Strength gradually runs out and is not replenished. It seems that there is nothing good ahead, only disappointments and endless suffering. People stop setting realistic goals for themselves and don’t even see the opportunities available. They live under constant pressure from others, in fear of seeming not good enough for any significant achievements.

Constantly depressed

Throughout the day I am tormented by a feeling of hopelessness. Thoughts get confused, clump together, and a negative perception of one’s own “I” is formed. It becomes difficult to understand where this oppressive feeling comes from, but it really suppresses, makes you doubt your existing abilities. Apathy and insomnia often occur. It becomes difficult to switch to everyday life. Experiences and negative memories endlessly overwhelm me.

Feeling of own insignificance

It manifests itself in the inability to cope with the problems that have piled up. Even minor difficulties cause despondency and melancholy and contribute to the formation of psychological defense. The feeling of tension turns into a feeling of insignificance, the impossibility of correcting the current situation. It seems that the whole world is collapsing before our eyes and there is nothing bright left in it. A person is not able to look at himself from the outside, to sensibly assess the position in which he finds himself.

Reluctance to move towards something new

I literally want to withdraw into my inner world and slam the imaginary door. There is a reluctance to learn something new, receive and share information. Communication also becomes something difficult, causing unpleasant feelings. It seems that danger lurks everywhere, even loved ones want to deceive and set you up. On this basis, relationships with relatives often deteriorate and absurd suspicions are formed. A person closes himself off from everyone in his own shell and does not want to show his true face.

Who helps with depression at the Ember center and how?

At the Ember Psychology Center, when working with psychological (neurotic) depression, specialists do not use medications, but use special psychological techniques to activate the body’s natural resources. Thus, during sessions with a clinical psychologist, the very cause of the problem is eliminated, which prevents the return of depression.

Prokhorova Irina Yurievna , experience over 20 years. Leading specialist of our center, has been working at Ember since 2013. Effectively solves customer problems, finding his own approach to each. She has extensive experience working with various types of depression. Consults in the office on Novocherkassky Prospekt. Participates in holding consultations and writing conclusions based on survey results.

You can view prices for consultations with a psychologist and other services of our center here .

The work of a psychologist is complex and sometimes invisible, but its result can change your whole life, because the result can be a new quality of life, a state when you don’t stand still and think about how to live further, but move forward, live, dream...breathe fully chest. Good luck to you on this exciting journey!

If you have depression, sign up for a consultation with a psychologist by phone or fill out the application form on the website.

Loss of purpose and disgust. Fighting severe burnout

If your burnout is already at the stage of loss of purpose/cynicism or depression/disgust, intensive tools are needed to limit energy expenditure on anything that does not help you recover. The most important thing is to overcome the inner feeling “if I start devoting time to something other than work, everything will collapse.” This is difficult to do. But burnout is already robbing you of your health and happiness—and if you do nothing, it will only get worse. The symptoms of burnout are similar to the symptoms of depression, and many experts even believe that they are the same thing. Treat the problem as seriously as you would treat a mental illness.

Step 1: Get out of stress

Burnout is the result of overwhelming chronic stress. There is stress—the tension we feel. And there is a stressor - something that causes this reaction. Each of them needs to be worked on separately. Until we have come out of the stress reaction, we have too little energy to study its causes and eliminate them. Therefore, you first need to reduce the severity of stress and increase the amount of resources. And only then move on to the stressor.

Living emotions.

What emotion is associated with stress: irritation, despair, anger, something else? It happens that inside you there is a ban on this or that feeling, because it seems wrong and destructive (this often happens with anger) or meaningless (“What’s the point of being sad? And anyway, my feelings are not that important”). Then it may be difficult not only to express, but even to recognize the emotion. Here is a technique that will help you recognize that very feeling. Afterwards, it needs to be thrown out in an environmentally friendly way - that is, without any address and in a safe environment. Anger can be expressed by tearing paper into small pieces. Or go into the forest and loudly swear, stomp your feet and scream. If you feel sad, but you can’t live through it, turn on sad music or a sad movie, call a friend and cry with him. You can also try: theater courses or trainings based on gaming philosophy, embodiment yoga or Ecstatic Dance to explore yourself through movements. These bodily activities, with a focus on self-discovery, help us connect with our senses when our minds disconnect us from them.

Release of the body.

Stress is necessary for us to do something: run away from a predator or fight with it. To complete the stress response, you need to let your body know: you escaped or won. Otherwise, the body will still be in anticipation of a threat and produce stress hormones. Sport is the easiest way to do this. Training mimics the fight-or-flight response, and by ending it, we end stress. You can go for a run or dance, the main thing is to move quickly and intensely.

Relaxation with breathing.

Another option is breathing using the Breathing Zone app. Breathing can be done according to the 4-7-8 pattern (inhale-pause-exhale count), when the exhalation is twice as long as the inhalation. Singing is an alternative. In the process, you will have to lengthen your inhalation and exhale long - this is exactly what is needed to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and calm down.

Attention management.

The Pomodoro method is work lasting 25-50 minutes, then a short pause. In this mode, you will be able to work focusedly throughout the working day (this is especially difficult if you are burnt out). Use a timer app for your smartphone or the desktop version.

What to do during a short break? 12 ideas

Put on headphones, turn on music, a podcast or audiobooks and take a walk around the house.
Go out onto the balcony, breathe in the air and look at the sky or another natural object.
Meditate or do breathing practice. An alternative is “neuron massage” in the Norbu app.
Dance or just jump to the music. Stretching exercises will also come in handy. This stimulates the production of endorphins and makes you less sensitive to any discomfort at work.
Be in darkness, silence and loneliness if there was a lot of communication during the day. You can take a shower or even lie in the bath.
Do local cleaning. For example, a desktop.
Turn on your favorite song and sing along. Or play musical instruments.
Draw the view outside the window or make something out of plasticine.
Place turrets and stone figures on the table.
Take care of plants in the garden or indoors: water, spray, replant, prune.
Talk to someone significant. Call a friend you haven't seen for a long time, or your beloved grandmother.
Think about what's important. For example, about your motivation in your current case. Why is what you do important to you?

Energy planning.

Write a list of tasks for tomorrow and rate the energy consumption for each on a scale from 1 to 10. For example, answering a letter in detail is 2, and speaking in front of colleagues is 8. Rate on a scale from 1 to 10 how much energy you have now. If there is less than you need to complete all tasks, you can increase the amount: relieve stress with a workout or breathing exercise, eat and sleep, do something that inspires you. The alternative is to reduce the number of tasks (delegate, postpone to another day) or reduce their complexity.

Making work tasks easier.

All tasks should be simple and feasible, otherwise burnout will increase. Add a separate task to your schedule: adapt tomorrow's tasks to your current level of strength. To do this, break large tasks into small steps. Imagine delegating them to a less experienced person or team. How would you formulate the task for them, what stages and details would you mention?

Step 2: Develop awareness

Practicing mindfulness is essential to preventing and recovering from burnout. Often a person burns out because he takes the results of his work too seriously. Mindfulness helps to expand the boundaries of perception and separate yourself from your emotions and thoughts - everything that happens in the field of consciousness.

Additionally, burnout is a result of chronic stress. And the practice of mindfulness, according to research, teaches us to control our emotions and reduces stress levels. This is how deep mind founder Max Timofeev

. Regular formal and informal mindfulness practice helps us better understand our current state, including how our body feels. The more developed this skill is, the better we understand how different activities and our reactions affect us - and we can protect ourselves from harmful ones. By being aware of our body and our condition, we also release accumulated stress reactions and emotions. And we do this not through external tools, but through internal skills.

When you are feeling burnt out, you should choose a comfortable mindfulness practice to help you relax and gain insight rather than stress. If you haven't meditated regularly before, start with a simple practice focusing on your breathing .

If it's difficult to meditate with written instructions, try audio-guided meditation. There are many good applications in English (Insight Timer, for example). In Russian, it’s worth taking a closer look at special practices to combat burnout

from deep mind. The technique is aimed at working through unpleasant emotions that we tend to accumulate under stress.

If you already meditate, add some time to your current practice, do your usual practice in a new environment (in the park, not at home) - or learn a new practice altogether. Take a closer look at practicing self-care and acceptance

to develop the skill of self-care or to the motor practice
of free movement
for a more complete experience of emotions (especially good for those who find it difficult to do still meditation).

At first it will be difficult to connect with the body: when we burn out, we feel bad about it, otherwise we would have stopped and rested a long time ago. It can also be difficult to concentrate on positive emotions: joy, happiness, peace. If you get distracted, don’t scold yourself, but support yourself: “Hurray, I noticed that my thoughts have flown away, now I can return to practice.” For this case, the noting

: As you practice, at a comfortable pace (every 3, 5, or 10 seconds, for example), name what you see, hear, or feel. It can be something material (I see a room, hear a sound outside the window, feel the pressure of a clothing seam) or something intangible (I see images, hear thoughts, feel joy).

Step 3: Address the cause of your stress

Now you can move on to the stressor. What causes the very situation of chronic stress at work that leads to burnout? Identifying a stressor and limiting its influence is not always easy, so at Deva.School we use the following algorithm for this.

Take a piece of paper and write down specific problems. First, you can outline the event in general terms, then highlight the details: how you feel and in response to what events. This will help you identify your stress trigger. Then you can act in two ways: remove the stressor or change your attitude towards it so that it does not cause so much stress. Here's what it might look like.

You worry that you're not doing your job well enough.
Because of this, you wake up at night thinking about how to improve the case. Then you need to formulate what it means to you to do your job well, what criteria you set for yourself. We look at the list and compare it with reality. Can one person do it all—or does it take a whole team? If there are too many tasks, changing your attitude towards them will not help much. We need to figure out how to reduce them. Think about what you can delegate to team members, find out how others solve the same problems.
You feel uncomfortable working with your boss.
After talking with him, you feel exhausted, and his way of formulating tasks is annoying. Think: do you want to change jobs? If so, make a detailed plan on how to do it. It may turn out that changing jobs requires too many resources. Or that working conditions in other companies are no better. Then it’s worth changing your attitude towards your boss (as much as possible) and including in your schedule actions that make you more resistant to stress before and after talking with him. Don't forget: you are not a victim. You have a choice - to change the situation or attitude towards it. The feeling that you have no influence on anything is dangerous: it leads to burnout.

Step 4. Return to yourself: your goals, values and priorities

All of us, including myself, tend to run away to work when we don’t want to worry about something or when we need to prove to ourselves our worth, which has been shaken in personal relationships. Therefore, in parallel with reducing the level of stress and the number of irritants, I recommend thinking about what kind of relationship you have with yourself and others - and how to make them more comfortable.

First, remember what values are most important to you. What did you want when you started a business that made you burn out? What result did you want to get? It's unlikely that you intended to burn yourself out. Perhaps you wanted to make a contribution to the world? How else can you do this without having to burn out in the process?

Exercise “Inner Compass”

It will help you remember your values and goals, which you have slightly forgotten in the pursuit of high results at work, and re-gain an understanding of which direction to move.

Think about five books or movies that have had the greatest impact on you. Why are they so important to you? Write five theses that answer this question.
Which five people have influenced you the most? And again - five theses why these people became special to you.
What do you value in people? Top 5 important qualities.
What intangible thing can you not imagine life without? List five values. For example: freedom, like-minded people, family, fulfillment, and so on.
To get started, what are the five factors you need? For example: energy, calm, silence.

Next, ask yourself: what else is important to you to include in your life besides work? What aligns with your values? Most likely, the first answer will be: nothing, there is so little strength, you need to put everything into work. But remember: it is the balance of personal life and work that protects us from burnout. Ask yourself: “Am I now the person I wanted to be? What is missing in my life? What was my dream before I burned out?” Perhaps it's playing an instrument, learning art, or volunteering. If you can’t find a non-work related activity that you like, take a closer look at nearby areas: mentoring, networking.