What to do if you have no goal in life and are not interested in anything - how to find a way out of the dead end

If there is no goal in life

Living life without a goal means going with the flow. The standard cycle of a person without tasks: “home-work-home-work”. And although such people still have dreams, they cannot make them come true.

When a person has his own goal, his life becomes difficult, more stressful. Therefore, many give up their aspirations, preferring not to leave their comfort zone. When there is a goal, a carefree existence ends, and all a person’s thoughts are absorbed by only one thing - the path to it. At the same time, life plays with new colors, and you want to live more and more. Interest appears. Everyday life ceases to be gray and monotonous.

How to live without a goal

Without aspirations, a person lives peacefully as long as he has everything that satisfies his basic needs. Sooner or later boredom comes, followed by an existential crisis, a midlife crisis. A person is overcome by depressive thoughts that pull him to the bottom.

A person without a goal in life asks questions: “why am I here,” “why am I living.” Many unnecessary thoughts appear that interfere with development.

Signs of a lack of determination:

1. Waste of time. Frequent and prolonged “hanging out” in front of the TV and on social networks is a clear sign of idleness.
2. Habit of complaining. Focusing on the negative aspects of life takes a lot of energy. For people who are unable to thank and notice the good, usually “the cart is still there.” People who are used to complaining don’t even try to change anything. The essence of this problem is clearly described in the parable about a dog whining on a nail, which never even tried to get up from it.
3. Communication with people who “pull you down”. Do you spend a significant part of your time with people who take away your energy and time and give nothing in return? The essence of this problem can be explained with the help of a wise saying: “If you don’t have your own goal in life, then you will work for someone who does.”
4. Buying unnecessary things is a sign that people don't know what they want.
5. Dissatisfaction with one's own life. If you are not familiar with the feelings of success and satisfaction, then most likely you did not really want to achieve them.

What to do if there is no goal in life

To avoid depression, a person needs to find a goal and selflessly strive for it. It can be as small as buying a new bike or writing a story.

The main thing is to rekindle the spark within yourself. Where to begin:

1. To bring your goals to life, train yourself to be disciplined.
2. Don't demand the impossible from yourself. For example, if you hate running, don't torture yourself. Choose another sport: cycling, fitness, etc.
3. Set yourself feasible tasks.
4. Estimate deadlines correctly. You won’t be able to lose 10 kg in a month, but in six months you can lose 10 kg.

Setting deadlines incorrectly leads to self-disappointment. It is important to prevent this from happening.

Another question: what to do if you have lost your goal in life? Anyone can find themselves in a crisis situation. In this case, it is important to learn to set new goals for yourself so that sadness does not overwhelm you.

Active people are divided into two types

• The first - let's call them “goal people” - plan all the time, tune in to specific results and get very nervous when something doesn’t go according to plan.

They believe that they will become happy only after they “buy”, “learn”, “trade”, “get rid of”, “finish”, “provide” something (insert your word). It’s as if they are putting off life for later again and again, wittingly or unwittingly. As soon as one goal is achieved, a dozen more manage to appear in its place.

Most of us live in “people of purpose” mode. Most often, imposed. Whatever the source of the goal conveyor is - family, friends, colleagues, social networks, the media - we are in voluntary captivity. In dreams of the expected tomorrow or with regret about what was not achieved yesterday.

• The second and still very rare type is “people without a goal.”

They don't want to follow a clear route. The journey itself brings them joy. They love what they have and therefore enjoy life every day. Without chasing time, without unnecessary stress, without straining your strength. Their approach is to be happy right today, at this very moment. They don’t just observe moments rushing from “tomorrow” to “yesterday”, but pass the threads of time directly through themselves. Breathe through “now.”

We are all different. If you truly enjoy planning every day and every hour, you shouldn't give up this lifestyle. You may be one of the few conscious “people of purpose.” But if you feel increasing pressure and emptiness from the intense rhythm, if energy is constantly running out, if there is no desire to act despite the external shine of the goals in front of you, it’s time to try something new.

How to set a goal in life?

To bring meaning to your life, ask yourself: “how can I find a purpose in life that is right for me?” Often we ourselves do not know what we want. Society dictates stereotypical attitudes that we follow blindly. But these are not your dreams. You don't have to be rich to be happy. You don't have to have six-pack abs to meet your girlfriend, etc.

How to act correctly

The most important thing is to identify your goals, not the desires of your parents or successful people. If you have absolutely no ideas in your head, look at the ready-made list from the previous article. When you find a task you like, stop and ask yourself 3 questions: why do I want to achieve this, what will it give me, and what will I do when I achieve the goal?

Understanding your desires is the first step. The second is formulation and planning. Get yourself a notebook where you will write down all your ideas and analyze them. It's hard to keep everything in your head.

The third step is specification. An incorrectly posed task looks like this: “learn English on your own.” The correct option: “master the Intermediate level in six months.”

If you don't want anything at all

It's another matter when you are completely desperate. Lack of desires indicates stress, depression, depression. Don't be afraid to turn to a psychologist for help. Prolonging problems leads to worse consequences.

Circle of goals

The psychological technique “Circle of Goals” will help you determine your desires at the moment. For this:

1. Draw a circle. Divide it into 8 parts.
2. Name the 8 parts: “Family, relationships, money, career, personal growth, hobbies, entertainment, friends.”
3. Take colored pencils. Draw each sector depending on your satisfaction with that area.
4. Draw the same circle, just color in the sectors according to your wishes.

Compare both circles. The reception will show which areas of life are worth paying attention to. We wrote more about the range of goals in the previous article - “Goals in a person’s life.”

Life without a goal. Where to go next?

In the stream of loud statements about goals in every person’s life as an obligatory necessity, constant achievements and personal development, modest questions about what a person should do when there is no goal in life are barely audible in a thin voice. It's as simple as that: no goal. Neither global about conquering the world, nor very modest. There is no. Is this really what happens?

Yes, sometimes. And that's quite normal.

For example, a baby has a certain biological development program: at three months he learned to hold his head up, at six months he learned to sit, at nine months he learned to crawl, and by one year he learned to walk...

When physical development ends (at about age 25), nature trusts a person to independently manage his own development. And here a person’s program can be implemented in two main ways. The first way is that a person has an active life position. Such people are always exploring something new, making discoveries, conquering unknown lands. The second way is to replicate known behaviors and behaviors suggested by others. Historically, these were models of behavior accepted in society and dictated by religion.

Thus, there have always been leaders who realize their high ambitions, who know how to set goals and take responsibility, and followers who are ready to follow the leaders and fulfill other people’s goals according to other people’s rules and algorithms.

Today, an active life position, the right to choose and equal opportunities for self-realization are proclaimed as a value, but there are still people who are ready to move the Earth, and people who are driven. And that's okay!

In the global understanding, everything is simple and clear, but how can a specific person figure out what to do and how to live further if there is no goal?

Easy to understand. If a particular person is happy and his life expectations coincide with reality, then his life model is good. And here you can finish reading this text.

Another case is if there is some kind of worm inside that reminds you of inner unhappiness, and doubts creep in about the correctness of the chosen model of behavior. Here, indeed, there is reason to think about what to do if there is no goal.

Let's start with something simple. With life's expectations. Our life expectations are the precursors to our life goals. They are simple and understandable to every person. Even when there are no dreams and global plans to conquer the neighboring galaxy, there are life expectations.

Let's look at the example of a physical state. Ask yourself honestly, how do you expect or want to see yourself, your body (physical form) in twenty years, ten, five?

I am sure that the vast majority want to see themselves in good physical shape: slim and fit, healthy.

Tell me, does your body now meet your expectations?

If you are young, then most likely yes. Because when we are young, life often rewards us with good health.

And with your current lifestyle, will your body in 20 years meet your expectations?

If your physical condition is important to you, then here is your first goal for the next twenty years: meet your birthday (your current age plus twenty) in good physical shape.

Don't you think so globally? Learn! When working with goals, you cannot do without a strategic vision.

Now the next important area is relationships. What are the expectations from life here? What do you want in twenty, ten and five years? What do you have now? Do you have a reason to work? If you want your expectations and reality to coincide, set goals.

Every person has a need to realize himself in something. Hence the often painful search for one’s purpose.

Ask yourself a question, what do you want to succeed in, what business? How to conquer the world?

If you have no ideas, the question may be more modest: in what craft do you want to achieve excellence? What are you ready to do with maximum effort, time and other resources?

Surely, there is such an activity, the results of which bring so much joy and inspiration that you never have to regret the time spent.

If so, what professional heights would you like to achieve?

It's time to set goals again.

And the last area is financial independence.

How many sources of income do you have? If any one of them runs out, will the quality of life change? How much money is needed for your financial condition to remain consistently stable no matter the changes in your life circumstances? How to achieve such a state?

All the questions asked now concerned only the necessary minimum, which will allow you to choose freedom of action, and not think every minute “about your daily bread.”

If sound calculations and reality do not coincide, if there is an abyss between what is desired and reality, there is again a reason to set goals.

In general, in the most general understanding, there are four important areas for every person: physical condition, relationships, self-realization, financial independence . They are like table legs, providing stability to the table and giving a person a feeling of life harmony and happiness.

Want more? A few more questions to ask yourself, and new goals.

Algorithm to help you

Compare your expectations of life in the future with reality and set your life goals. I am sure that now you will have them.

If you have become the happy owner of your life goals, you will also be interested in reading:

Is it worth it to engage in self-organization or how can I understand if I know how to manage myself?

How to set and achieve goals

Secrets of good planning or how to create a self-development plan

Elena Vetshtein.

PS Based on your comments, I decided to make a small addition to this article.

So, there are people who have never set any goals, and yet they are happy, they don’t care about anything, they feel so good. We talked about them earlier in this article. There is another category of people. These are those who are not happy with the current situation, although they often set goals, but either do it crookedly, or are lazy and, as a result, do not achieve their goals.

If you have read the material, then you know that the prototype of our goals are our desires. Goals grow from a desire, a dream, a strong “I want.”

But what should we do when we don’t understand our desires, we think that they don’t exist, we don’t believe that we can achieve something in life? All these situations have nothing to do with goal setting. As a rule, other mechanisms are affected here, ranging from depressive states to more complex causes. These reasons are solvable. But they are resolved in therapy - they are worked through with your psychologist. They are difficult to solve independently using materials from articles or other publications.

PPS From January 8 to January 15, 2021, a new marathon on planning and organizing morning time “How to make a good morning” starts. This is a new program. I create it for those who spend every morning in hustle and bustle, are often late for work, meetings, and whose mornings always go topsy-turvy.

I made a pre-registration form to understand how interested my subscribers and site readers are in such a marathon. The cost of participation will be 3300 rubles. But pre-registration will not ask you for any payment. I need the pre-registration form to understand the demand for the marathon. I will give everyone who registers using the form a 30% discount on the marathon when its sales start two weeks before the start.

Want to register for the marathon? Leave your contact here and I will contact you!

You can find out more about other programs here

TO LEARN MORE

Elena Vetshtein

Tips and tricks

To consolidate, learn the rules on how to achieve your goals in life:

1. Set yourself small tasks with strict deadlines.
2. Break a large goal into several small ones at different intervals.
3. Every week or day, write down your progress. At the end of the month, evaluate the result.
4. Learn to accept defeat. One small lost battle does not equal a lost war.
5. Don't give up if things don't go well. Train willpower and endurance.

Believing in your abilities plays a key role in achieving your goals. Learn to believe in yourself, become your own best friend and you will definitely achieve your goal!

How to find out your life direction?

There is a very simple way to find out your life direction or, if you want, your purpose, your business. This is the method of doing nothing. All you need is to take food for a few days and retire.

Turn off your phone and be alone for a few days (at least 3). There is no need to do anything at this time. Neither read books, nor communicate with anyone, nor watch TV or sit at the computer.

Only complete loneliness and immersion in your thoughts and feelings. At the same time, there must be an attitude through solitude and reflection to understand in which direction you need to move.

That's all. Find your direction in life and develop in it!

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— A parable about achieving goals

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One people had a sign. Whoever picks a white flower on the mountain on New Year's Eve will be happy. The mountain on which the flower of happiness bloomed was enchanted. She was constantly shaking and no one could stay on her. But every New Year there were brave souls who tried to climb the mountain. One day, three friends also decided to try their luck.

Before going to the mountain, friends came to the sage to ask for advice:

“If you fall seven times, get up eight times,” the sage advised them. Three friends went up the mountain, all from different directions.

An hour later the first young man returned, covered in bruises.

“The sage was wrong,” he said. -I fell seven times, and when I got up the eighth time, I saw that I had only walked a quarter of the mountain. Then I decided to return.

The second young man came two hours later, all beaten up, and said:

- The sage deceived us. I fell seven times, and when I got up on the eighth time, I saw that I had only walked a third of the mountain. Then I decided to return.

The third young man came a day later with a white flower in his hands, and there was not a scratch on it.

-Didn't you fall? - his friends asked.

“I fell, maybe I fell a hundred times, or maybe more.” “I didn’t count,” the young man answered. - Why don’t you have bruises and abrasions? - the friends were surprised.

“Before going to the mountain, I learned to fall,” the young man laughed.

- This man has learned not to fall, but to rise, which means he will achieve any goal in life! - said the sage, having learned about the young man.”

Most people want quick success, so they tend to quit after a few failures. Only those who do not count the number of their mistakes, but simply persistently pursue their goal, reach the top.

You may be interested in knowing the things you need to do in life.

________

Problems in setting goals

But many people have significant difficulties setting goals and, accordingly, their own motivation. Problems and disturbances in the process of motivation lie in two planes: physical and psychological.

Problems on the physical plane may be associated with:

• Impaired human health, the presence of any diseases, weakened condition
• A person is surrounded by people who also have neither goals nor motivation and do not strive for it

Problems lying on the psychological plane are broader; this may be associated with the following psychological blocks:

• Fear of failure, dictated by previous negative experiences
• Lack of understanding of the actual factual importance of motivation to achieve success
• Losing the meaning of achieving any goal

Violation of primary motivation and what can this lead to?

But it happens that problems with motivation in a person come from deep childhood, when in the process of socialization certain frameworks were imposed on the child. By suppressing primary, childhood motivation by close relatives and other environment, a significant contribution was made to the formation, or rather the lack of formation, of goal setting and further strategic motivation of a person in adulthood.

It’s even worse when, in the process of improperly raising a child, such a thing as negative motivation is instilled, when the child performed some actions not out of his own need and interest, but in order to avoid being punished. In the future, it blocks all the ways for other motivations to penetrate into a person’s life - strategic ones, which can influence a person, promoting him on the path to success. The channels for acquiring strategic motivation are simply cut off.

In cases where the process of forming primary motivation in a person has been disrupted, no personal growth training or other similar activities will help the person restore this missing link. Under these circumstances, the right and only correct decision would be for a person to work with a specialist to unblock the channel of primary motivation, by understanding the reasons for its degradation and drawing up a program of work on it. This work is carried out through the use of trance techniques, i.e. it is necessary to interact with the subconscious.

Watch the webinar “Correct goal setting” by Denis Burkhaev.

How are goals different from tasks?

Any goal consists of tasks. Let's say you want to buy yourself a brand new car. The goal is clear, but the task is to split the goal into smaller ones. The task is to find a job with an income 2 times higher, find a suitable car dealership, save money, and so on and so forth.

It turns out that any goal consists of tasks that need to be solved as you move towards the goal. Even simpler: The goal is “WHAT”?, The task is “how”?. I think it will be even easier this way.