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In the modern world there is nothing eternal and permanent. Young couples sooner or later separate. If at first it seemed that the feeling of love between a guy and a girl would last forever, then it turns out that it is the same as everyone else’s - for no more than 3 years, as psychologists say. Is it possible to keep a girl or woman near you for life?
The men's site masculino.ru anticipates that among its readers there will be guys and men who really love their ladies. And here a natural desire arises to hold on, not to lose, to leave forever. We'll talk about this in this article.
Romance.
Women are very sensual people.
And, no matter how much you date, they will always expect a romantic dinner, a spontaneous trip, an invitation to a date, or a nice surprise at home from you. As soon as your girlfriend stops receiving all this, thoughts will creep into her head that not everything is going smoothly with you. To prevent this, do not forget about the pleasant little things.
Sometimes invite her to dinner (without children and friends) just the two of you. Remember how you spent your time when you first started dating. Go back to those times, talk to her. And not about work/home, but try to get to know her better, get to know her again. Sometimes bring flowers, give compliments. To make a girl feel loved.
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How to keep a woman
Get your wife back
How to keep a woman
If a man begins to be interested in how he can keep his woman, then this is a clear sign that for a long period of time he has been making many mistakes in his behavior with her. Of course, a number of situations will be almost impossible to correct due to the categorical character of women, but if the moment has not yet been missed, then you can not only keep the woman, but also make her love you again with all her heart and soul.
And you need to understand that this is not done with a wave of the hand, but with the help of long-term “investments” in your character and ability to communicate with this woman. Therefore, even if a woman leaves you, competent actions on your part will help her realize her mistake. And then return it.
How to keep a woman - checklist
Men's obligations. You should know that girls marry the guys they love, and prefer to live with hard-working men. Therefore, if you have big problems financially, but everything around the house is “worth it,” then don’t be surprised that a woman will refuse you.
This can be compared to some of the missions that women assign to their husbands. It doesn’t matter whether it’s snow, rain, flood or the end of the world outside, in her understanding, a man is obliged to provide at least some minimum for her and her children.
Therefore, first you need to tell her that you are ready to work and work for the good of your family. This will give you some time for it to cool down and wait for your actions, and then you will simply be obliged to do something. It doesn't have to be anything huge, but action needs to take place.
Sex life. This is quite an interesting point that provokes both sides to destructive behavior. Both men and women who do not receive enough intimate attention begin to behave more aggressively, violently and cruelly. Therefore, if a woman begins to behave defiantly towards you, then perhaps you should be more diligent in bed, if you have not forgotten about it!
For many women, having sex is not only a way to gain pleasure, but also a calming experience that shows her: “I am needed, I am important, I am still loved.” If this does not happen, then a man cannot avoid many problems with an angry woman!
Also, the lack of intimacy gives rise to many thoughts about cheating and finding another man who “cares.” In this matter, women can go so far that you cannot even imagine!
Flirting and attention. Our life is quite boring; we do the same thing almost every day for many years. Therefore, it is so important for a woman that a man is interested in her affairs and confirms that, despite all this fuss and disagreement, he still understands her desires, and also loves her madly.
This can be achieved with just a few questions about her affairs in the morning and evening, as well as a small intimate conversation for thirty minutes over a mug of tea or coffee. This is not so much in reality, but many, unfortunately, completely forget about such a female need.
Also, your speech should not be dry and lack of initiative. Ask interesting topics, praise her intelligence and erudition, let her delve a little into mysticism and the supernatural. All this makes women much happier, and they begin to need your attention and approval. Remember that if you don't do it, someone else will.
“For example, if she tells you about some kind of failure at work, then you can support her, and then reduce this failure to some kind of mystical coincidence of circumstances. This will help her avoid self-criticism. And if at the end you add that you are simply crazy about the kind of woman he got, then a good mood for both of you is guaranteed for the week ahead.
Be a little stubborn. If you go somewhere for the necessary certificate and receive it without any problems, then you will remember about it for a couple of hours maximum. But if you stood in line for several hours, had a fight with someone, and then managed to slip through, then the memory of such a heroic act will remain with you for many years.
This is the kind of model we need for women. Remember that women are always dissatisfied with something, and they will always find something to burden their husband with. And if before this you weakly agreed, or, on the contrary, resisted to the last, then the woman will not appreciate this.
The ideal behavior is considered to be such a manner of communication when a woman needs to push her every action through your stubbornness: prove, argue, explain and blackmail. But at some point you still agree to her proposal. And it is thanks to this behavior that a woman will learn to appreciate you and your actions.
Cheerful master. Inside every woman there lives a little girl who strives to do something stupid or pranky, because it’s cool and funny. And the real skill of a man can be considered his ability to let this girl out. After all, then the woman completely opens up to him and succumbs to his influence. This disclosure can be achieved using two principles:
- Your behavior should be confident, and not a single problem should bother you (at least you shouldn’t show this to your woman). Let you be considered a strong man who can provide enough protection so that a woman can be weak and bad, because you are always there as a backup.
- You should not categorically condemn a woman and her behavior. Yes, you have the right to grumble and point her out, but it should be like a father-daughter model, not a boss and an idiot employee. This is what will allow a woman to be weak and happy. By the way, you will also be happy, but you will get additional problems. Whether to do it or not is up to you to decide!
The first step to keeping a woman
So, in your specific situation, you should first determine what was the reason for the woman’s possible departure. If such a departure was sudden and unexpected, then it is worth looking for reasons over the past two months. If you have long noticed that the relationship has begun to crumble and become cold, then look for the reason over the last year of the relationship.
After identifying the reason, you must change your behavior so that the woman notices it. But you shouldn’t impose yourself too much or somehow try to “show her your great love.” When a woman is about to leave, she is not interested in love, she is interested in pure gain in spiritual and material terms. And there is no room for love anymore.
Therefore, we gradually change our behavior, stop twitching once again and having “serious conversations,” and you yourself will notice how the woman begins to reduce her categorical rhetoric. In the end, of course, you will need to ask for forgiveness for your inattention, and she will forgive you.
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Emotions.
She shouldn't be bored in her relationship with you. Don’t forget to give her bright and unforgettable emotions. You shouldn't spend every evening at home. This lifestyle will drive any person crazy.
And no matter how much a girl loves you, one day she will get bored with all this. Don't forget to arrange cool dates for her that will be different from each other.
Let her get adrenaline and a new charge on dates with you. Give her a certificate for a parachute jump, go to an amusement park, buy tickets for the weekend to another city.
Be a man.
In your relationship, you are in charge and you rule. It is this realization that can keep your girlfriend with you for many years to come.
Finding a person who is responsible for his words, is responsible, and surrounds him with care and attention is quite difficult for a girl. If you have such qualities, then your chances are great.
Be firm and adamant with her. Show that she can be capricious anywhere, just not with you.
This may seem too practical to you, but every girl wants a person next to her who will share household and financial responsibilities. As soon as you stop performing your direct male functions, a woman will notice it.
You must not forget that relationships are not only pleasure and joy, it is also work, and daily work.
What should a guy do if he has no desire to break off the relationship?
Often, if a girl decides to break up, the young man begins to come up with romantic ways to get her back. He regrets that he did not show tender signs of attention at the height of the relationship, and worries that he rushed to fix everything too late. He becomes resentful of himself and his beloved. Everything is complicated by the guy’s pride, which blocks the desire to talk sincerely.
First, you should find out what kind of separation the woman has planned: a short pause or a complete break. Sometimes girls, by announcing the end of a relationship, provoke their loved one and desperately attract his attention. Perhaps your other half needs care, more communication, tenderness. It happens that the chosen one has problems that are difficult to talk about. Before you get offended, you need to ask your friend about the reasons for her decision.
Even when a woman directly talks about ending the affair, you should not give up. The female sex is inclined to doubt, analyze, and weigh for a long time. After breaking up, girls continue to mentally return to their ex-partner, evaluate him, and ask themselves about the correctness of the decision. After living at a distance for a couple of weeks, you can try to return the relationship. Your beloved will probably accept this proposal.
A breakup due to infidelity leaves deep grievances. It will be very difficult to get back the partner you cheated on. To restore trust, you will have to patiently achieve it again, prove by actions that the betrayal will not happen again. Only a beloved man can be forgiven for betrayal. If there are no tender feelings, the girl will not return to her ex-partner.
Recommendations for guys whose girlfriends have decided to leave them:
- behave calmly, with dignity, but sincerely and without challenge;
- you should talk, don’t blame, be patient;
- apologize, admit guilt (if the guy internally disagrees with the accusations, then one day this will lead to anger, irritation, quarrels);
- take into account the requests of your beloved, truly begin to change (it is better to do without eloquent promises, but briefly agree with her claims);
- do not be afraid to appear vulnerable in front of your partner, to directly admit your affection.
If a woman resolutely insists on ending the relationship, you should not ask to be friends. Such a relationship rarely turns out to be sincerely friendly. There is no need to continue painful communication, since the guy’s feelings make it depressing. Such emotional dependence is fueled by self-flagellation, jealousy and lasts for years.
After a woman has finally decided to separate, we should wish her success. You need to show respect and remain a true gentleman. Parting as beautifully as possible, leaving behind a bright image is the best solution. It is advisable to hide the nuances of relationships and breakups even from loved ones, because gossip does not make a guy look good, it humiliates him and his ex-girlfriend.
Get on with your life.
If your social circle has shrunk beyond recognition, and you spend all your free time only with her, this is bad.
A man who has nothing but a girlfriend in his life quickly becomes boring.
There is nothing to talk about with him, he cannot bring anything new into the girl’s life, he does not develop and does not improve himself.
What is left of him in this case?
Never focus solely on a girl. Always find time for yourself, your friends, sports, and other hobbies. Your life should be full and varied.
Causes of conflict: the emotional component of a woman
When we talk about a man’s behavior, our task here is, again, not just to blame a woman for being so “unsuitable,” but to understand the reasons. Why did she behave this way?
There is an emotional component that even women themselves do not fully understand. Working with women in consultations, I was also convinced of this more than once. The ladies themselves told me that I did this or that there. For example, she behaved emotionally, was rude, was rude to the man, lost interest in him, to the point that she packed her things and went to her mother with her things and the child.
Plan your future together.
Confidence in the future is very important for girls. If a man doesn’t give it, the relationship ends very quickly. Remember this simple rule and try to put it into practice.
Talk to her about your common future. Discuss where you will go on vacation in the summer, what you will have in a year, how you see the further development of events.
Start such conversations from time to time or do not avoid them when the girl herself wants to talk about something similar. Try to use the word “we” and not “I” in your speech.
Never do that!3
When you have been informed of a possible separation, it is unlikely that your state will remain serene. The earth disappears from under your feet, the light in your eyes fades, your heart stops and your breath is stifled. A whirlwind of thoughts in a head that stops thinking. And at this moment the mind turns off, and only emotions begin to work. And here you need to be extremely careful. Remember - negativity and panic are your worst enemies. They must be curbed first. Otherwise, you risk creating such towns that dear mother! And you have another task, by the way. So, what not to do:
- Hysterical, sobbing, begging not to leave.
You're not a doll wearing pants with straps. Therefore, grab your butt, get the “right guy” and behave with dignity. Find out what led her to this, offer ways to solve the problem, put forward justifying arguments and ask for another chance. Just calmly, without screaming and tearing out the hair on the top of your own head.
- Threaten.
This is the last thing to do with threats. The only thing you will achieve is final strengthening in the decision to separate. Why does she need an inadequate abuser?! Yes, she will run from you, losing her slippers, with her eyes wide open! And he will do the right thing: health and life are more valuable. And she will not check that the threats are empty and serve the purpose of deterring.
- Revenge and suffering
Read about the threats. It's all said there. Well, your prophecies won’t scare her. She knows for sure that life will be better without you.
- Deadly sins and broken lives.
Trying to accuse a girl of all mortal sins will work against you, dear. If you tell her now that she is mediocrity and worthlessness, then the answer will be one: why not go on a long, erotic journey. All your arguments will sound like a banal insult.
About a broken life. It's still a question of who broke what and who. It just seems to you that you are white and fluffy. In fact, since she decided to break up, it means that not everything is so smooth. And there is a possibility that her own life is going downhill. The question is, who is ready to put their fate on the altar of dubious relationships?
So, pull yourself together, dear, and start saving your relationship. But in a completely different way.
Remember the changes.
When everything stays in one place, boredom sets in in a relationship.
You must become the source of changes that your girlfriend will certainly appreciate. Make sure that you are an example for her, so that she follows you, and you can teach her something.
Give her advice, show involvement in her life, don’t be afraid to change something radically. If something doesn’t work out for her, then there is no need to criticize. Try to find a way out of this situation together with her.
You should be an authority for her, a person with whom she is calm and not afraid of anything.
Getting rid of fear
To keep, you need to stop being afraid of losing. As people like to say, “what you fear, you attract to you.” If you are afraid of losing your girlfriend, then most likely this will happen. After all, a person in a state of fear begins to commit actions that lead to this.
To get rid of the fear of losing, you need to understand a few ideas:
- Love doesn't last forever. This only happens in fairy tales. Your love will also soon subside. It will need to be rekindled, reheated, or transformed into something else. But be that as it may, even the most loving people can break up.
- The girl is not the guy's property. This means that if she wants to leave, she will definitely do so. You can hold it as long as you want. However, if a girl wants to break up, then she will realize her plans.
- There are plenty of girls. Fear often arises because the guy begins to think: “I’ll never find someone like this again. She is the only one! And he’s right - he’ll never find a girl like that again. However, there are many other girls who combine a different set of qualities and interesting thoughts, appearance and skills. Girls are all different, and among them there are definitely those who can be considered better than the one who is next to you now.
- Believe in yourself. Always tell yourself that no matter the circumstances, you will do everything to be happy. You are scared because you don’t want to lose what gives you happiness. However, the girl is not the only person who can please you. Why don't you learn to make yourself happy? No matter how events unfold, you must always support yourself and give what is missing.
If you are afraid, the girl will feel it. If she herself does not want to part with you, then she will be embarrassed by your worries. If she is already thinking about leaving you, then your fear will greatly amuse her vanity. She may even somehow take advantage of the situation in order to gain some benefit based on your fear of losing.
If you don’t want to be a puppet in the hands of your own fear and a girl, it’s better to get rid of the bad feeling and be prepared for anything.
Eliminate jealousy and suspicion.
There is no need to harass your girlfriend with or without reason. You shouldn’t bother her with calls, control and monitor her every move.
This kind of behavior only kills relationships. You must learn to trust and somehow cope with your attacks of jealousy.
Every person needs freedom and personal space. If you can't give it to a girl, then it's only natural that she'll get tired. Learn to be more restrained, control your emotional outbursts and not find fault with every little thing.
Watch yourself.
Even if you have been together for a hundred years, this does not give you the right to neglect yourself and not take care of your appearance.
Sweatpants and a stretched out tank top are not the best clothes to wear at home. A girl wants to see a neat and tidy man next to her.
Don't stop taking care of yourself and going to the gym. Watch your hairstyle and clothing style. Your things should always be clean and ironed.
Your girlfriend may be too sensitive to hint to you that you haven't been looking great lately.
