People break up for various reasons: betrayal, bad habits of a partner, dissimilarity of characters. It seems that having received the long-awaited freedom, life will be filled with new sensations, the banal “everyday life” will go away, taking with it all the problems. But another month passes and more and more often I want to return to my previous stable relationship.
How to draw the attention of your ex-lover and restore burnt bridges if the breakup was harsh and uncompromising. Ask yourself the most important question. Why do you need to capture her attention? If you expect to return to your previous location, lull your missus’s vigilance with compliments, entreaties and vows, and then use an insidious plan to change (like her) or abandon her in difficult times.
The pleasure of revenge will be short-lived, the adrenaline will evaporate, and the aftertaste of a low, unworthy act of a real man will remain forever. Perhaps she is really to blame, broke your heart, or through her behavior has adversely affected your reputation in society. Forget about her for a while, wait until your girl’s intellectual age catches up with her passport age. As people grow older, they become more tolerant and, as a rule, smarter.
Seven ways to remind yourself:
Internet
The option is to return it in order to start all over again, much more noblely; you must understand that when resuming a relationship you have no right to make a mistake. The draft has already been used, now you have a clean sheet in front of you, go for it. There are many ways to remind yourself, their complexity depends on how tragic the breakup was. The simplest, completely free, is to like and leave nice comments under her photos on social networks.
Naturally, she will visit your profile and review in detail the latest changes in your status. There should be no pictures with other girls, rudeness, or subscriptions to porn sites. More sentimental pictures with sad additions about lost love. The boys won’t understand, of course, but you can create another account for them.
A woman's curiosity is stronger than any insult, and after a while, she will reveal herself by writing a sarcastic greeting or sending a cool emoticon. Having established communication, take a closer look at those who appeared in her contacts, perhaps while you were away your competitors did not sleep, unfortunately the duels were cancelled, so look for more humane methods of eliminating them.
There is a chance!
When your relationship was just beginning to develop, the girl saw in you traits that corresponded to her ideal, a person whose genes and character traits suited her. However, relationships are dynamic, they change, as do the lovers themselves. In the process of development, the girl could overtake you, you either simply did not keep up with her, or you decided that comfort and convenience were more important than acquiring new skills and abilities. The result is a lack of feelings on her part. What and how to do correctly to make a girl fall in love with you again in such a situation? First of all, stop being offended by her. Only you are to blame, because you decided that you could leave everything as it is. Is it possible to regain a girl's interest? Psychologists answer: nothing is impossible. One has only to determine the specific reasons that led to the loss of feelings. It is also important to get rid of those behavioral traits that pushed your soulmate away from you.
Happy chance2
It’s more difficult to figure out how to get your lover back if the girl has blacklisted you, closed any attempts in instant messengers, or blocked you on her phone. Then feel like an official who has been removed from a leadership position due to the loss of trust placed in him. This means she is still worried and every reminder of the past is reflected in mental discomfort in her body.
Simply put, she hasn't forgotten you. Collect the remaining information: home address, place of work, favorite cafes, approximate routes. Like an experienced detective, set up random encounters. At first once every two weeks, then a little more often. Come up with an adequate explanation for why you ended up in this area if you live on the other side of the city. Don’t try to immediately rush into battle, start with a simple greeting, then more.
Gradually reduce the distance, do not miss the moment when your ex starts flirting, or talks about a problem, or even asks for help. Fixing a faucet, taking the cat to the clinic, picking up a laptop from repair, this is an excuse to get closer to you. Maybe the pet that you once brought from the trash heap will now become the link that reconnects your hearts, thereby repaying the kindness shown to him.
Why Refund Requests Are Ineffective
There is only one situation when you can ask your beloved to return - and she will indeed return. This is if you left her yourself, and she asked not to leave. But even here it is better to choose another option in order to return the girl without explicit requests and especially without humiliation. Otherwise, she, realizing how much you regret the breakup, will sooner or later want to take revenge on you.
If the girl left on her own, think about it, humiliating yourself, will you look better in her eyes? Imagine the image that will form in her head. As long as you ask and tell her that you can’t live without her, she will feel maximum pity. And pity is very far from love, and even further from sex.
In a situation where a girl comes back out of pity because you started drinking, stopped sleeping, or stood at her entrance for hours, a very unpleasant thing usually happens. Feeling that she is forced to return, she will expect compensation from you for her “generous act” - more and more investments, gifts, “obedient” behavior, etc. She will make claims, criticism, demands to change... And as a result, either you yourself will not be able to stand it, being disappointed in the relationship, or she will leave you again. Simply because she cannot respect such a man.
What if you calmly ask to come back?
No and no again. If she has thought carefully about her decision to leave, it is unlikely that you will convince her with your request. And if a girl leaves out of emotion, in the heat of the moment, then you can get her back only with confident and independent behavior - without humiliation, apologies or persuasion. Otherwise, it is possible that in the future she will constantly blackmail you by leaving, and each time you will have to try harder to get her back.
Dangerous maneuver3
For the brave and determined, risky methods are suitable, then she will be forced to remember your existence. You will have to answer for the wrongs caused in the past (betrayed, slandered, did not feed the cat) with your own health. Set up a mini accident in which you will be the victim and your future bride the perpetrator.
Now almost all women drive a car, but it would be less dangerous for you if she rode a bicycle. Having received minor bruises, or maybe even a closed fracture, you will atone for your guilt to your beloved woman with blood. Mental joy will be the best anesthesia for bodily wounds. For the next month, you are guaranteed bed rest, as well as attention and care from the person responsible for the accident.
Activity
Psychologists assure that you shouldn’t let the process of returning your loved one take its course, but you also don’t need to think about Operation Return 24 hours a day. Because of this, you can lose your job, fail a session, or worsen your health. Be sure to follow all the instructions given to you, prepare for seminars and sessions, start going to the gym, and do household chores. This way you can take your mind off stupid things and stop calling her every five minutes and begging her to come back.
Secret conspiracy4
While you were a couple, your social circle has increased with new friends and relatives, ask them to help reunite your union. Let your friends arrange a trip to nature, or to the village where, while walking around the neighborhood, you first confessed your love to your girlfriend. The environment should awaken romantic memories in her.
Perhaps she will refuse the invitation, or she will come not alone, but with a new boyfriend. This is not scary, but you will see a potential opponent, but he will be in this village for the first time, and you will fight in the studied territory, moreover, with reinforcements in the form of friends. Jealousy will be a hindrance; under no circumstances should you start making advances towards all representatives of the fair sex out of anger.
Keep your mind sober and reasonable, emotions will only get in the way now. Show your tolerance, make friends with the new gentleman of your former passion. Hint to your friends so that they show him all the beauty of these places, and at this time you will talk with your beloved. Establish tactile contact with her, take her hand, hug her, tell her how you miss her. It’s a rare woman who will remain indifferent in such a situation.
Bringing back the feeling of novelty
It may seem that this step is one of the simplest. However, psychologists note: this is just in words; implementing this method in practice is quite problematic. After all, you need to not only promise to change, but actually do it. Changes are needed both external and internal. For the first impression, you will need to change your own style, but this will not hold the girl’s attention for long. If the young man remains the same as he was before, if he also communicates and acts, the relationship will not work out.
How to make your ex-girlfriend fall in love with you again? Bring new things into your life! Do something you haven’t done before, but not through force, don’t break yourself. This is the only way you can become interesting, by the way, not only to your ex-partner, but also to other young ladies. How to understand that the goal has been achieved? Your loved ones and friends will no longer recognize you, and your lifestyle will be significantly different from your sofa existence.
The whole world is at her feet5
The next method requires financial investment. The size of the upcoming costs depends on the girl’s standard of living and needs. Verbal and written apologies did not bring the expected result? So it's time to use the heavy artillery. How to get your ex-girlfriend and her attention back? Of course, first you need flowers, preferably delivered by courier to her work.
The envy of your colleagues will be a pleasant addition to a gorgeous bouquet. Then your imagination will depend on the numbers in your bank account. The gift can be a certificate, but not to a beauty center or a gym. Hinting at shortcomings in appearance and figure, you are unlikely to regain the favor of your beloved.
Invite her to a restaurant, allowing her to pre-select an outfit, which you will happily pay for, or buy a new smartphone with all the accessories. Remember what she dreams about, what she is interested in, become a wish-fulfilling wizard. Go on a trip together, you don’t have to go abroad; sometimes, living in a city, people don’t know about the attractions that are located in the neighboring region.
How to attract the attention of a girl you like?
Despite the fact that winning a girl’s attention requires activities aimed at interaction, you should initially take care of yourself and carry out some kind of preparatory work that will help both attract the attention of the girl you like and win positive feedback from everyone around you. Such investments of effort and time will pay off throughout your life, because reputation means quite a lot, and even more so in the eyes of women (no matter how attractive a girl is to you, if then all her friends speak negatively about you, then she will be cold towards you, and on the contrary, there have been cases when girls fell in love with a guy in absentia before they met, only based on the stories of others). You can arouse interest from a distance, and even without knowing a specific girl, and this requires positive self-esteem and confidence in your own attractiveness. You can increase these indicators of self-perception through training and in your own life by providing yourself with multiple contacts with positive people, participating in charity events and complex projects, and improving your own skills through courses. A confident person who knows his own worth evokes a desire to communicate and gives positive emotions, while complexes and uncertainty interfere with the building of healthy interaction, and the partner becomes a psychotherapist about whom they try to resolve problems.
Courage, confidence, self-acceptance are the first steps that help in the future not to copy others, but to be yourself. Girls feel falsehood, and if you are a nerd, you shouldn’t pretend to be a hooligan, it’s better to show your strengths, which will definitely arouse more sympathy than trying to squeeze into someone else’s image. Girls like sincerity and confidence, so no matter how silly or unattractive you think your traits or hobbies are, open up and you may be surprised by the amount of female attention.
When guys read advice about taking care of their own appearance, sometimes it takes on exaggerated forms that repel girls. Yes, you should keep your body clean, but you shouldn’t pour half a bottle of perfume on yourself, yes, your beard and hair should be combed, trimmed and styled, but not filled with gel. The same applies to clothing - it should be clean, reflecting your inner essence, emphasizing your dignity, but a clutter of expensive brands and lack of convenience for the sake of fashion are not welcome.
When communicating, choose a friendly, open manner. Think about how much you yourself would want to communicate with a person who is always angry or thoughtful. Your emotional state can attract girls like a magnet, and if, after talking with you, her mood improves or her soul brightens, then she may show the next interest herself, simply because positive people, focused on dialogue, and not their own thoughts and problems, are pleasant interlocutors , attention-grabbing.
If you have achieved that the girl communicates with you, it’s too early to give up, you need to win her attention to yourself as an interlocutor, otherwise the new acquaintance may end, and the old one may become cooler. Be interesting, constantly expand your knowledge so that you have something to talk about, find your passion, learn rare interesting facts. Don’t memorize information, but read what interests you, then all the interesting moments will be remembered by themselves, and when you start answering the girl’s questions about yourself, it will sound more intriguing than “I have no hobbies, I play on the computer.” When you are interested in a girl, do not abandon your own interests, otherwise you will soon have nothing to talk about or only topics from her life will remain, and believe me, a guy who understands ecological cosmetics is more surprising than interesting.
When sharing your life stories and hobbies, show interest in the girl’s life, her past, hobbies, and family. The more questions you ask, the more interested she will feel, and you will receive information from which you can build further relationships or find common topics and activities. But be tactful, consider the psychological distance at every stage of your relationship when asking questions. The same question about the first intimate experience at the beginning of a relationship can cause a storm of negativity and further ignorance on the part of the girl, while in a long-term and trusting relationship it will help to get closer and better understand each other. In addition to uncomfortable questions, watch the girl’s reaction, since you can touch upon topics that are absolutely neutral from your point of view, but painful for her. If the answers become monosyllabic, and irritation or ice appears in the intonation, then quickly change the topic.
More humor and compliments with original content. Let the jokes be relevant to the moment, instead of memorized anecdotes, and let the compliments be individual to her, instead of boring “beautiful eyes”. Treat yourself gallantly and avoid any vulgarity in the form of direct looking at or touching private parts. With girls, it’s better not to force things, but to be attentive, but a little cold, this will give her the opportunity to feel her own interest in you, instead of the usual algorithm of turning off all persistent fans. Show the girl that you can be friends, communicate and support, that you are interested in her as a person, and not just as a sexual object.
And of course, girls love flowers and gifts - take advantage of this weakness to stand out from the rest. Add intrigue by sending gifts by courier, let her figure out who it could be, invite her to dinner not by SMS, but by putting a beautiful note in chocolate. You shouldn’t bet on the price of the gift, it’s more important what mood and impressions the girl gets than the cost (and not everyone can accept an expensive gift, and many will consider this an unambiguous hint, for which you will get your slap in the face, while the bouquet Picking dandelions with your own hands will cause many different pleasant and pure feelings).
Sex6
The method is ambiguous, but happens often. Our psychological health is directly related to our physical health. Intimacy is necessary for both men and women. Abstinence has a negative impact on mood, apathy and depression develop.
The hormonal levels of girls are unstable, resulting in breakdowns at work and depression at home. Offer your help, at least for a while, until she meets a permanent partner, become her passionate lover. After all, sex with an ex-girlfriend is quite a pleasant and frequent occurrence.
Of course, if before separation, you satisfied her needs. Perhaps at first she will be offended and even offended, but then she will realize that something close and dear is better than something distant and dubious. An ex-husband in the status of an intimate partner is already an exciting factor. Only now you will have to try, experiment with new positions or master anal sex.
Go to a special store together and choose: lubricant, toys, cute trinkets. Offer role-playing games, all women love dressing up. If privacy at home is problematic, rent a hotel room; unfamiliar surroundings will add excitement. They will be embarrassed, stupidly, because you have already broken up, which means you can try everything previously forbidden, but desired.
Closer and further
How to make a girl fall in love with you and make her think about you? Psychologists recommend using a technique called “closer-further”. First you should pay attention to her, then disappear. The fact is that people are designed in such a way that if there is a possibility of losing something to which they have become accustomed, they begin to appreciate it. The result will be that the girl herself will initiate communication.
Of course, many young people can use such a method as an emotional outburst. We recommend that you abandon it, because the effect will last a short time, and besides, it may not always be positive. The likelihood of adaptation and addiction is also high. After a few surprises, the girl will simply get used to them, and one day she simply won’t react at all. But what works simply flawlessly is common interests, the more of them, the more reasons for communication there are, and the more often the girl will think about you. The main thing is that you are interested in what she likes, sincerely, and not through force.
Cause and effect8
Most breakups, 87%, occur due to psychological burnout. People get tired of being together, many have grown up by this time, and the meaning of maintaining a family disappears. In second place, infidelity – 76%. The desire to start a new relationship often ends in a fleeting meeting.
Sexual dissatisfaction outpaced harmful addictions by 1%, 58% versus 57%. Almost half (49%) having experienced loneliness, want to return everything back. So the question of how to attract the attention of an ex is relevant for many men.
There are several reasons for returning:
- Habit is very convenient when there is no need to pretend, you can relax and no one will pay attention to your minor shortcomings.
- Hope - when you assume that separation will have a positive effect on your partner's behavior.
- Responsibilities – common children, relatives, mortgages, loans, family traditions, sometimes pets.
- Fear – it is much harder for one to cope with work and everyday problems.
- Uncertainty - how correct the decision to divorce was.
It's not difficult to start communicating with your ex-girlfriend again, especially if she keeps in touch with you. The main thing is to understand whether you can work on mistakes, forgetting about old grievances, and even in quarrels, not reproaching them for showing weakness. In families with children, such situations are even more complicated.
The separation of their parents is a terrible test for them, which only wise, balanced partners can go through with pride. By the way, it’s easier to return to the family, to the children, having secured their consent, it will not be difficult to persuade the mother. Just don’t try to manipulate or use blackmail; they won’t forgive you for repeated betrayal.
Where to begin?
After a breakup, it is important not to ruin everything in the bud with your reckless actions.
And, first of all, it is necessary to restore normal human communication. As a rule, most men who are abandoned by girls do not particularly think about how to behave. Instead, they try to explain to their ex as clearly as possible that the breakup was a mistake. But it all turns out to be quite annoying and boring. Such intimate conversations, to which they are trying to provoke a girl, in fact already have the opposite effect. And remember, when you were still together, it was she who wanted to talk to you, and you found more important things to do. Now it will be oh so difficult to establish communication, but this is the first thing to start a crusade for her return.
You can’t force yourself on her immediately after breaking up: you both need this break.
For her to calm down a little and have time to miss you a little, and for you to change something in yourself for the better. Or, at least, to begin with, pretend that he has changed.
So, if after breaking up you disappear from her life for a while, then most likely she will really start to feel a little sad and become interested in your personal life. So give her this chance and don’t pester her with calls and meetings near the entrance. Otherwise, soon you will simply begin to dislike her and end up on the “black list”.
But don’t even think about disappearing from her life completely. We just need to take advantage of this time. It would be a good idea to act through social networks or through friends. Post photos from parties and interesting events you attended. Show her that your life continues and becomes more interesting - you are changing for the better. Well, in a couple of weeks you can call just to ask how things are going. Moreover, your first conversation should be short - no longer than five minutes, so that you have time to interest her, but she does not have time to get enough of you. You will have to prepare for such a dialogue. After all, you need to surprise her and interest her, and not indulge in long and useless “how I missed you” and so on.
Next time you can call in a week, but the conversation will take longer. And only after you understand that the lady is interested in communicating with you, can you offer to meet. For now, purely in a friendly way, of course. Take action and you will definitely be able to get your ex back and rekindle the passion in her heart! If you want to learn even more secrets on seducing girls, subscribe to my VKontakte page.
Self confidence
Stop suffering and tormenting, don’t even think about showing your ex-lover your depressive state and decadent moods. A pitiful appearance has never contributed to the restoration of relationships with a loved one. Psychologists say: no girl wants to be with a guy who is offended by the whole world, constantly whines and has neglected himself. That is why we recommend pulling yourself together, putting yourself in order, and showing others your self-confidence. This way, your ex will definitely get the information that you are not only alive and well, but also full of strength for new discoveries and achievements. And what can hurt more than the realization that your ex is no worse off without you than with you?
How long should I wait?
The more time passes after breaking up, the less chance you have of returning the feelings of your beloved girl. While you are looking for the right moment, some other man may appear.
On the other hand, getting in touch immediately after a breakup is also a bad idea. You need to give yourself and her a little time to cool down your emotions and rethink what is happening a little. This is especially important if you parted with a scandal.
The smartest choice is to wait a week after the breakup and take action.
