Often, when meeting a guy, a girl begins to notice that he behaves primly and shyly in her presence. Many ladies make the wrong conclusions, which lead to the severance of friendly or supposedly romantic relationships.
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How to behave if a guy is shy
Shyness is a quality that is often inherent in men. It is not a vice, but it can interfere with building relationships. A shy guy is unlikely to be the first to meet someone, and he is very easy to embarrass. Every girl can stir up a quiet person, and it’s worth it: often shy guys make caring and faithful husbands.
Superiority and complexes5
Some girls confuse self-confidence and high self-esteem with coldness and bitchiness.
The girl shows with all her appearance how independent and cool she is. She makes fun of guys who show her attention. She is looking for the ideal man with whom she will build an ideal relationship. Although in fact he is struggling with a bunch of fears and complexes, which he diligently buries deeper.
Well, what guy would want to approach someone like that? He didn’t even have time to open his mouth, and she was already looking at him with an arrogant look and rejected him.
Ways to cheer up a shy guy
If you like a man who clearly likes you, but there is timidity in his character, you will have to take the initiative. Gone are the days when a girl waited for the first step from a man, so you can confidently conquer the object of your passion.
If a man is embarrassed to ask you out on a date, but you know that he wants to be with you, you can easily invite him for a cup of tea or suggest going to the movies together.
To get a quiet person to talk, choose topics that interest him and ask questions to which he could give detailed answers. This will help you get to know each other, and it will help him to relax.
If you find yourself on the dance floor, you can safely ask a modest guy to dance. This will be a great occasion for communication and the opportunity to learn something about each other.
Shortening the distance is another great option to establish contact between you. It is enough to catch the right moment and take a man’s hand, making him feel that you are interested in him.
Praise is the best way to make a modest guy feel a surge of pride and courage. Try to give compliments to your timid lover more often, especially if he did something nice for you. When you turn to him for help in some matter, be sure to praise him and even kiss him on the cheek. This will help the guy become bolder and serve as a hint that he can take action towards developing the relationship.
A simple kiss on the cheek will help a man relax and become more confident.
Shortens the distance
Even if a man is embarrassed to court you, you can always understand that he is in love by the way he tries to be closer to you.
He tries to come closer to the object of his passion, to get into her field of vision. He does this on purpose, but tries very hard to ensure that his maneuvers go unnoticed. If a woman knows how to observe, she will definitely notice all these supposedly “random” meetings, collisions, etc.
He wants to keep her in sight all the time. If you notice in a general group at a party that an acquaintance, friend or colleague does not take his eyes off you and constantly falls into your field of vision, there is no doubt, most likely he has fallen in love.
He constantly catches your gaze. This is the most important non-verbal sign of his love. If he manages to look into your eyes, he tries to smile. He is trying to read in your eyes how you feel about him. He also likes to look at the object of his attraction, while his gaze becomes gliding and moves over the woman’s body - quickly and carefully.
A man is trying to touch you. Believe me, if a woman is not attracted to you, it will not even occur to a man to take her, say, by the waist to let her through the door. They behave this way only with the beauty they like.
A man tries to communicate more with his beloved. In general company, he tries to talk to her, start a conversation. If she gave him her phone number, she can start calling him, often inviting him somewhere. He is bursting with feelings, and he, of course, wants to constantly be with his beloved. Moreover, his calls will be without any special reason.
A man in love does not hesitate to introduce his beloved woman to his friends and acquaintances, especially if he already knows that his feelings are not unrequited. He also doesn’t mind meeting your family.
Strengths of Shy Guys
Fact! Girls love shy boys, even if this statement is questionable. The fact is that many ladies eventually get tired of excessive attention and macho arrogance.
What other advantages can a shy man have:
- The ability to listen and give valuable advice. A shy man will not interrupt or insert inappropriate remarks into the dialogue. Often shy men are people with good manners and a sense of tact. After passing a certain milestone in a relationship, a guy becomes more relaxed and no longer feels as embarrassed as before. They have a lot of sincerity and willingness to help.
- He's interested in something. Unlike sociable macho men who strive to win the hearts of as many girls as possible, a modest guy is more likely to have a hobby. The hobby to which he devotes his free time can have a different nature and focus. This means that a person is more diligent than others and is ready to achieve his goals. Girls value stability.
- You don't need to give yourself more attention. Narcissists and people who like to be the center of things are often to blame for this. With a modest guy, she will get more attention because the first one doesn't need as much. She will feel needed.
- A pleasant set of topics for conversation. Of course, there are exceptions, but for the most part shy guys are smart in many areas of life. They have a broad outlook, they can support any conversation, because instead of meeting girls they chose self-development.
Non-standard approach
“How can you tell if a boy likes you or not?” - a common question among teenage girls. Pay attention to his behavior.
At a younger age, guys show this feeling of love in a slightly distorted form: you may receive slaps, gentle blows from all sides, hair pulling, ridicule or attempts to attract attention. It may seem to a girl that the bully hates her and therefore constantly mocks and hurts her, although in fact the opposite is true in most cases.
At a more mature age, feelings manifest themselves a little differently. The girl should pay attention to how the young man will behave when she disappears: will he call, look for her, ask what’s going on. This is how a representative of the fair sex can understand whether a guy has some kind of sympathy for you.
But you must reason sensibly and coolly. Because if you get hung up on the fact that the boy is the object of your adoration, you will only notice in his behavior what you want to see for yourself.
Signs of a shy guy
Due to his timidity, a man who likes a woman may not show it in any way. Moreover, if a guy is too young, he will do everything so that the woman does not realize that he is interested in her. But it's not difficult to recognize.
A shy guy hides his gaze and cannot look directly into the eyes. His speech is often tongue-tied and confused, even if he is an excellent speaker in life. When a guy starts to feel shy, he may have a blush on his face that betrays his condition. A shy guy may even break out in a sweat. At the same time, his palms may become wet and his hands will tremble slightly.
Shy guy afraid of direct eye contact
There is no need to be afraid of the symptoms of shyness - all these signs are usually temporary and if a shy guy becomes your boyfriend, he will be braver.
Which women make men the most shy around?
There are basically two reasons why a guy is shy: either he cares about the girl or he is afraid of her.
If your boss is a scandalous person, being embarrassed when you see her is a normal reaction. A person does not want his behavior to cause a “fire” in him and to fall under the hot hand.
Young men are often embarrassed to see beautiful women. They involuntarily compare themselves with her: life achievements, wealth, even appearance. Therefore, against the backdrop of independent and successful girls, men feel inferior, although this is not the case.
What to do in such situations
The main thing is not to despair. There is no need to change yourself for someone else, the main thing is to remain yourself. But still, a few tips on what to do will come in handy.
For a girl (what NOT to do when communicating with a modest guy)
In order not to alienate a timid man, you need to take a few tips into account.
- There is no need to rush things. You shouldn't push a guy to take the first step. When the time comes, if he really has feelings, everything will work out on its own. You can, of course, tell a man a little about your feelings in order to increase his self-confidence. For example, ask for help at work. With a sense of accomplishment and confidence, the guy will increase.
- There is no need to deliberately embarrass a guy and provoke negative emotions. It's better to be modest. The psychological technique of mirroring works here: if a person repeats the character or actions of another, it means that he is not indifferent to him and is considered as a potential friend. A shy man alone with a supposedly insecure girl will become less worried, and eventually communication will go smoothly.
- You should never make fun of a man. It is better to try to show your sincere attitude. If a lady really has a liking for a young man, you should not hide your willingness to help. You need to make it clear to him that you are interested in further communication. Shy people are perceptive enough to subconsciously begin to gravitate towards a sincere person.
Important! Under no circumstances should you laugh at a man, especially when surrounded by his friends or colleagues. This way you can undermine his reputation and interest in a woman.
To a man
A man should also try to correct the situation. For example:
- Try to show more initiative. There is no need to be afraid to show leadership qualities. In any business, the main thing is to start acting, and the rest will come by itself.
- If the reason for this behavior lies in inexperience, then this experience must be gained! Communication skills will not come without trial and error.
- You shouldn’t look up to guys who are more successful in communicating with women. All people are different, and no two characters will be the same. If a man needs more time to take the first step, then there is nothing wrong with that.
Advice from psychologists
Psychologists will tell you how to find out whether a particular guy at school likes you or whether your feelings are not mutual, as well as how to behave correctly when communicating with representatives of the stronger sex. Many factors indicate a young man's sympathy. By putting them together, you can find the answer to this exciting question, so there is no need to get your hopes up ahead of time. Listen to the advice of adults and educated people:
- An interested look does not always mean falling in love. Perhaps the young man is simply assessing your makeup or clothes, figuring that such a short skirt would look attractive on his girlfriend. Do not make fast conclusions.
- If a guy selects topics for conversation that concern only the two of you, it means that he considers you as his girlfriend, he is interested in you. If the conversation is mainly about other pretty girls or a former lover, then the young man is thinking about someone else.
- Do not attract third parties into the relationship, try to identify signs of sympathy yourself, do not talk about your crush. As an exception, you can only tell a secret to a close friend “in the ear” if you are sure that she will not spill the beans.
- Don’t “send” your friends to scout with the request: “Ask if he likes me, you need to find out.” Don't try to get the truth out of his friends. Such curiosity can be off-putting.
- For advice, it is always better to turn to your own adult people, for example, your older sister, mother or godmother. With wise advice, they will be able to help you understand the current situation.
If you couldn’t find out, but you like the boy, you feel reciprocity, then you can come up and talk about this topic. Take courage, be alone with the guy and tell him that you are attracted to him, you are not against closer communication. Perhaps this will liberate him, after which he will confess his love.
Their behavior will help you understand how boys feel about themselves. An interested guy will definitely be given away by his gestures, gaze, manner of behavior and communication, and attitude.
Talk to him about a date
If you've been talking to him for a long time and he still hasn't asked you out, then invite him to go somewhere together. In our modern world, girls don't have to wait for a guy to make the first move. You can take the initiative yourself and ask the guy out on a date. Just suggest meeting in a romantic place where it's just the two of you to make him feel comfortable. This strategy may work because it gives him the opportunity to stay away from the public eye or any public place.
Just don't embarrass him on the first date. This is a guaranteed way to scare him away, and he may close down for a long time. Try to make him feel comfortable with you, and it is likely that he will invite you on his next dates.
Pay close attention to his body language
We have already talked about how to see obvious signs of attention and recognize love in a completely closed guy. But what if he behaves completely normally: he doesn’t show his cards to you, but he doesn’t mask his feelings with the utmost caution? This is the most difficult case when you will have to be as attentive as possible and catch all the signals coming from him, even if he did not try to send them.
Without exception, all guys, like girls, subconsciously signal their sympathy for a person
. This can include involuntary timid glances that you throw at each other against your own will. Trembling knees and slurred speech, a deep blush on the cheeks... But there are also less obvious signs that also relate to body language.
If a guy likes you, he will subconsciously reveal
all their movements are towards you. Imagine that you are communicating in a large, lively company: no matter who he talks to or who he addresses, if there is sympathy, the toes of his shoes will definitely be turned in your direction. This applies not only to shoes, but to hands and posture in general - it will be directed at you
, as if conducive to an open conversation.
In addition, a guy in love always unconsciously repeats the facial expressions of his object of desire
– smiles, frowns, bites his lip, and so on. But even if you haven’t noticed any of the signs described in the article, don’t despair: all guys are different, and they also show their feelings in different ways. One day you will definitely notice something that will mark the beginning of a sincere and trusting relationship between you.
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Video: What a girl looks like through the eyes of a guy in love
Attention, TODAY only! At school age, almost everyone hides the feelings that arise in relation to one or another classmate or neighbor.
This is repeated more than once or twice, and over time this secrecy becomes a habit.
It has been noticed that men in general are noticeably shyer than women.
However, it's not just shyness. There is also usually uncertainty and fear present.
Performs strange, inappropriate actions
Some men who have some kind of complex may behave strangely and inappropriately towards the woman they are in love with. They may show marked coldness, tension in communication, and may indulge in ridicule and teasing. This is also a way, albeit a peculiar one, to attract attention.
If a man often gets lost in a conversation, speaks confusingly, confuses the thread of the conversation, or is nervous, this is a clear sign that he is worried, which means he likes the woman.
The image of a real man in modern society is drawn quite clearly - he is a self-confident, brutal, fearless, cold-blooded, assertive “macho”, before whom no woman can resist. Therefore, if a person is timid, shy, self-conscious, unsure of himself, then this man is not real. But is this really so, and is it better to effortlessly start a relationship with an alpha male, or to use all your charm and subtle understanding of individual psychology to win the heart of a shy guy? Let's figure it out.
There can be many reasons why a person became so insecure and withdrawn: as a child, he had tough parents who did not provide the necessary support, and the child felt a lack of attention, a bad experience in a relationship with a woman, a fear of not being liked and being ridiculed. Because of this, he withdraws into himself, hides in his shell to protect himself from possible failure.
Signs of a Shy Guy
A shy guy often seems shy and indecisive to girls. These traits prevent him from meeting the opposite sex and building romantic relationships. If he likes a girl, he cannot make the first step and misses a happy opportunity to get closer.
Many women are sure that if a man likes them, he will show overt signs of attention and take various actions to win her heart. But timid, silent guys can walk in circles for a long time, stammer and blush during meetings, without taking any action.
Shyness is not an innate quality.
According to psychologists, it appears after experiencing unpleasant events that happened in early childhood, or its causes are hidden in upbringing. Most likely, the parents did not allow the boy to openly express his thoughts and desires or take initiative. Then he entered adulthood with the same pattern of behavior.
Usually a modest guy does not see the true cause of problems in relationships with the opposite sex, because shyness has already become something familiar to him.
His shyness is not a serious flaw. This is just a human trait that can be corrected. A modest guy is always courteous and will not offend a person with his word or deed. He has such qualities that appeal to almost all girls:
- caring;
- attentive;
- responsible;
- loyal;
- honest;
- reliable.
He values his relationship with his girlfriend and treats his family and friends with respect. He will take care of her, try to live up to her ideas and is unlikely to ever betray her. A person of this type of character knows how to concentrate on work and achieve significant success in work. He is capable of becoming an attentive, loving spouse and caring father.
Reasons why a man is embarrassed by a woman's presence
There are many reasons for this: from a person’s own, fictitious (or not) complexes to a consciously chosen attitude or social “mask”. Possible options:
Self-doubt and fear of rejection
When a guy dates a good girl, the thought that pops into his head is, “This won’t work,” or “I’m not worthy of her.” It takes up all the space in your head, you can think about it for hours, imagining your future family life and already thinking about how to rationally distribute the budget. But all this enthusiasm disappears at the thought of recognition. Overcome by fear: what if, after admitting sympathy, the girl will respond with a banal refusal?
Many men are afraid of this. They are afraid not of the refusal itself, but of the ridicule they will experience from a woman, because this would violate their natural sense of self-worth. Therefore, often a guy who has some feelings for a girl is perceived as a passive, even cold attitude, apathy towards her problems. This explains why men are shy in the presence of women: they are afraid to show their feelings.
Failures in past love affairs
A bad experience is also an experience. If it's not just the guy who gets rejected, then his pattern of behavior is obvious: rejections become commonplace, and few people enjoy the routine. When you meet a pretty girl, the guy already knows for sure, and most importantly, expects another negative reaction. All enthusiasm for reciprocity disappears.
Inexperience
This is the other side of the coin of the previous point. What can I say, a person simply cannot follow the algorithm of actions! Afraid of saying something stupid or, on the contrary, asking tactless, inappropriate questions, he unconsciously became embarrassed and blushed in the presence of a beautiful woman.
The guy probably even understands that he could end up a bachelor with constantly sweaty hands and embarrassment if he doesn’t take the first steps towards meeting someone. However, weight shifting is difficult and peak readings are delayed until later. Again and again…
Insecurity about one's own appearance.
This point is a repetition of the first. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) a person does not choose the face with which he was born. When a man falls in love with a girl, he begins to pay more attention to his appearance: dissatisfaction with what was once, most likely, not even taken into account, grows exponentially.
Hence the uncertainty when a lady of the heart appears on the horizon. Incomparable things come to mind: what kind of reciprocity is this when she looks like a model at fashion shows in Milan, and he has protruding ears or a nose like a potato?
Not ready for a relationship
Even if a person claims that he is 100% ready for a close relationship, the subconscious mind resists. Even if every night a decision is made to confess and turn your soul upside down, when the girl first appears, all these decisions disappear somewhere, as if they never happened, and in their place is shyness and constraint.
Also, the reason for a man’s shyness may be his reluctance to take responsibility and control his actions. Many women like smart guys with leadership qualities, who are willing to take responsibility for their actions and make quick decisions in stressful situations. But not all guys fit this mold. A person understands that the parameters imposed by society do not suit him, so there is nothing better than “stretching out.” After all, in his opinion, nothing will come of it.
Inability to understand hints
It is easier for men to understand simple text without a hint. If she sends a smiley face, it's really hard for a guy to tell if it's flirting on her part or just a polite gesture. If she calls first for a weekend getaway, are you getting ready for a date or a friendly outing? There is a lot of confusion and misunderstanding about gender differences in understanding hidden signals. This is also one of the reasons why men are shy about women.
How to start a relationship with a shy man
The surest way to start a relationship with a shy man is to make friends with him, get to know him better, find him, be sweet, attentive, kind. It’s not a bad idea to use social networks to get closer, because it’s much easier to overcome shyness virtually than in the real world. Shy people look for a friend in a partner, a person who always supports and understands. A person is always attracted to someone like himself, therefore, a woman needs to be modest, shy, next to the same man.
At the same time, we must not forget about the usual feminine charms. Give various non-verbal signals, let the guy know that you care about him, and you are ready for something more than friendship. Especially you. If everything is done correctly, then the reserved, shy guy will feel relaxed next to you, open up, relax, and you will get a partner who will envelop your beloved girl with attention and love.
- How to understand that a guy is in love?
- How does a guy behave if he's in love?
- How to prevent his feelings from cooling down?
It’s quite easy to understand how a guy in love behaves! There are special secrets and signs, and with proper observation, you can easily determine that a man is breathing unevenly towards you. But making love grow into true love is much more difficult.
Jealous
He will vigilantly watch your every move, especially if he has the appropriate character. Burning possessive instincts awaken in him, and he, of course, will try to protect his woman from the “encroachments” of strangers.
A lover, in principle, does not tolerate well if some men hang around his beloved woman, even if you work together and have to resolve work issues.
Even if a man is secretly in love, his feelings will definitely find a way out. After he sees you in the company of other men, he may become tougher, irritable or absent-minded.
