How to understand that a guy likes you, but he doesn't show it

Hello, dear blog readers! The feelings and thoughts of another person are always in the dark. But is it not in vain that psychologists spend so much time on research? They especially love the theme of falling in love and various forms of relationships between the sexes. As a result, all our individualities have long been systematized and generalized. Therefore, it won’t be very difficult to figure out how to understand that an adult man likes you, but he hides his feelings and what are the reasons for his reluctance to express his true relationship?

But first you need to decide, who is this adult man? Not surprisingly, sociologists from Britain conducted a survey (it is noteworthy that at the request of the Nickelodeon UK channel), and found out that according to the majority of respondents, this is a person who has reached 45 years of age. Previously, the threshold was only 30 years. But, times change, and if in Pushkin “... an old man of about 30 years old entered the room,” then now at this age, it is still completely shameless to chase the sale of video games and only think about starting a family somewhere in the future. Therefore, we will start from the psychology of men over 40.

How to find out about the feelings of a married and single man?

A free man who likes a woman will try to admit his feelings or make it clear that he is interested.
The main thing is to correctly understand his “messages”. An offer to help, go for a walk, have a cup of coffee will let you know that the guy likes you. An adult unmarried man will try to spend his free time with the girl, he can introduce her to his family, friends, acquaintances. At the same time, he will demonstrate how valuable the company and attention of his companion are.

But a married man will avoid public places, even when experiencing intense love. If a family guy likes a girl, he will most likely flirt wildly in private. In the presence of strangers, a married man will try not to show any signs and will pretend to be indifferent.

He will laugh at all your jokes

If a man laughs at any of your jokes, even bad ones, then most likely he likes you. Your corny jokes don't scare him off because when he's with you, the amount of love hormone (oxytocin) in his brain is so high that everything you say will be interesting to him.

A man may even praise you, saying how easily you make him laugh. And if he says that you are charming and witty, then he is definitely flirting with you.

Many people find humor very sexy. If a woman has a keen sense of humor, men may not pay attention to her physical beauty. Humor helps a man feel at ease around a girl and also strengthens his connection with her.

Basic signs of sympathy

Gestures and facial expressions

Signs that a girl is in love - how to understand that a girl is in love

Much in the human body is controlled only by the brain, without the participation of consciousness, in accordance with basic settings. So, men will behave very similarly when a pretty girl appears:

They will smooth your hair, straighten your tie, straighten your back to look in all its glory.
They will always turn to face the lady, perhaps putting their leg forward.
The object of dreams is so close that there is a burning desire to touch it. Therefore, men do not know where to put their hands. The modest ones will be tucked into their pockets, the open ones will subconsciously show their wrists, twirl, fiddle with, adjust something.
Some people put their fingers in their belts or sit with their legs stretched out, showing who the man is.
There is a desire to copy the gestures of the interlocutor. You need to change your position, and if a man cannot sit quietly, even though he does not repeat the movements exactly, then he is clearly not indifferent.
If the posture is closed (arms or legs are crossed) and the body is turned in the other direction, then this indicates a reluctance to communicate or strong tightness and shyness.
A smile and eyes can tell a lot without words. It is very easy to distinguish a sincere smile from a forced one, even if the person is extremely polite. By a slight blush and raised eyebrows, it is easy to determine interest in the topic of conversation or the interlocutor.

Love and tenderness can be expressed with a smile

Gaze and eye contact

A man will constantly look for the girl he likes; she attracts him like a magnet. If he decides to hide his feelings, then, on the contrary, he will never look at her, even if the situation requires it. After all, the eyes will tell a lot, besides his desire. The look of a man in love is deep, enchanted, burning and tender. The pupils may be dilated. A modest person will avert his eyes, a self-confident person will come close and begin to examine without embarrassment.

Important! If a man looks intently, but coldly, squints his eyes, his pupils are narrow, then he is simply assessing the girl

Behavior and speech

Friends always easily recognize falling in love, since the behavior of an adult man changes greatly

In her presence, the funny guy suddenly becomes quiet; the usually taciturn guy will begin to attract attention with jokes and activity.

An irresistible desire to touch your beloved will force you to reduce your personal space. Scientists have calculated that for a European it is equal to 50 centimeters. The man makes attempts to come closer, to touch the woman or at least her personal belongings.

To attract the attention of an interesting girl, a man:

recognizes the phone, calls, writes messages, tries to be nearby;
wants to know everything, asks questions, listens carefully;
makes small pleasant surprises, strives to help;
tries to become better: looks neater, quits smoking;
Pauses in conversation can indicate sympathy; they arise because the guy is worried and daydreaming;
tries to make you laugh;
tells personal things, can brag about successes, because you need to make a good impression;
some men, who are not far behind schoolchildren in their development, begin to be rude and teasing;
will be jealous if another man calls.

Pangs of jealousy

A clear sign that you like a woman will be a change in the timbre of your voice when talking to her. So he doesn't talk to anyone anymore. The voice becomes softer, lower, and special notes are heard in it. Tries not to use harsh words, speak softly.

Men can talk for a long time about work if they see a qualified colleague or good friend in a pretty woman. If he talks only about himself, he believes that the interlocutor is unworthy of attention and is not suitable for him.

A good way to figure out whether a man likes a woman is to ask her friends. It can be seen better from the outside. If a guy's friends start joking about this topic, there is no doubt that he is sincerely interested in communication.

Gets likes: how to understand what you like through correspondence

Another thing is the Internet. No meaningful glances, no trembling hands, no bonuses. And I really want to understand his feelings. Firstly, it’s always nice to know that a young or not so young man likes you. Secondly, it helps to narrow down the circle of unfamiliar people (for example, on a dating site) to potential candidates.

When you appear online, he immediately types a message. However, he always writes to you, regularly and often.
Guys are not talkative people (except for philologists), but if he likes you, correspondence will become his favorite activity. Even in the case of phenomenal illiteracy.
Just like in reality, in virtuality a man will try to get to know you all. And he will succeed - it’s difficult to refuse the temptation to talk about himself.
As for social networks, in addition to chatting, he likes your photos and comments on posts. And often flashes in the news chronicle.

How to tell if a guy likes you

Communication is conventionally divided into verbal and non-verbal. Psychology will help you understand whether a guy likes you, since this science can decipher the subconscious signals of the human body. If everyone can control their speech and behavior, then unconscious symptoms are beyond the control of many. To understand what a man feels and how he treats you, you will have to develop your powers of observation, like the famous Sherlock Holmes. Notice literally everything: looks, gestures, facial expressions and, of course, the intonation of the subject of interest.

Gestures

Psychologists say that we are all subconsciously drawn to those we like. If a woman is attractive to a man, he will try to stay nearby. This should not be taken literally. No one is going to follow you around like a shadow. It’s just that, for example, during a planning meeting the guy will probably sit next to you. If you are in a company of friends, then when telling something, he will try to look at you.

Perhaps the man will involuntarily repeat some of your gestures. This is not mimicking or conscious copying; this indicates a strong interest in you.

Every representative of the stronger sex wants to appear taller and slimmer to the lady he likes. This desire is expressed in the fact that in her presence he will begin to diligently draw in his stomach and straighten his shoulders. Perhaps he will involuntarily put the toe of one foot forward (in your direction)

Psychologists decipher this as a “pointer”, that is, the guy subconsciously demonstrates that of everyone with whom he is now close, you are the most interesting and important for him

Eye contact

Shyness is a quality inherent not only in women, but also in men. Try looking into the eyes of the person you like. If he immediately looks away or lowers his pupils, then he is probably afraid of giving himself away. By the way, psychologists say that fear of direct visual contact indicates fear of being rejected. “Look” for the guy with your own eyes, try to “intercept” the direction in which he is looking, this will serve as a subtle hint that you are not going to refuse him.

If you have already caught the subject’s gaze on you more than once, most likely he is admiring you, which means there is sympathy that he is still afraid to discover or show.

Dilated pupils also indicate tender feelings and interest. True, this “pointer” is not so unambiguous, since it can simply say that the man is impressed by the topic of your conversation or he remembered something pleasant.

Touch

People love to touch what they like. This rule applies not only to objects or animals, but also to everything and everyone that surrounds them. If a man tries to touch you under any pretext, he at least likes you. For example, when opening the doors, he will casually put his hand on your back, and when you go down the steps or get out of the car, he will run up to offer his hand and, perhaps, hold your hand in his palm a little longer than necessary. Such little things speak of sympathy on a “chemical”, that is, bodily level.

But this is a rather “delicate game”; careful observation of him will help you make sure that you are special to the subject you like. Take a closer look at how he communicates with other women? Does he give everyone a hand or pat them on the back?

What do gestures say?

Everyone knows a simple truth: the words of the interlocutor are not always sincere. Playing the role of your well-wisher, he may experience different feelings in his soul

Or, on the contrary: the guy does his best to pretend to be a tough macho, and his fingers nervously fiddle with his scarf and his eyes timidly ask: “Do you like me?” Therefore, in such a situation, pay attention to the gestures that accompany the words. By understanding their language, it is easy to understand how this person treats you

It’s easy to tell a man’s attitude by his gestures. To do this, watch him when he is close, watch the movements of his body, hands, and facial expression:

By chance, you ended up not far from each other. The guy begins to automatically straighten his clothes. These gestures will indicate that he wants to look attractive in your eyes.
If a girl in love and a young man are standing next to each other and having a conversation, she needs to look at his posture: a man who likes a woman often unconsciously puts one leg forward, as if pointing to the object of his interest.
The guy, being next to the girl he likes, tries to look taller, so his body at this moment is slightly tense and stretched upward.
When talking to a man, look at his face: if the eyebrows are slightly raised, as if expressing surprise, then the woman can be sure that she is interested in him.
If in your presence a young man twirls a ring on his finger or, while talking to you, fiddles with a button on his jacket, this means that he is overcome by excitement, which he is trying to cope with. And this can definitely serve as a sign that he has feelings for you.
Have you noticed that the guy is looking at you? Don't worry, this is a simple demonstration that he is interested in you. And most likely, he had time to look at you even when he first saw you.
While talking to you, a man rubs his chin or cheek with his hand, touches his eyes. In these gestures you can see signs of his excitement and desire to please.
If a guy stands with his hands on his belt, it means that he subconsciously wants to show his physical strength, as well as self-confidence. He wants to please his interlocutor.
Sometimes you can see that his eyebrow rises and falls subtly. The guy does this, without noticing it, for a few seconds. Such an involuntary movement on his face is a sure sign that he is far from indifferent to you.
If a woman notices that a man is looking at her with his lips parted and his nostrils slightly widened, she can be sure that he admires her appearance.
The young man smoothes his hair or, conversely, involuntarily ruffles it. This gesture suggests that he is trying to look more attractive.
Feeling the cool breeze, the guy carefully offers you his jacket or sweater. Know that he considers you his woman and is ready to protect and protect you.
You can be sure that you are his favorite woman if you are talking with your loved one and during the conversation he begins to unconsciously repeat your gestures. For example: you take a phone out of your purse, he immediately mechanically takes his mobile phone out of his pocket, and so on. These gestures are a clear sign that he really likes you.

To be absolutely sure that the guy is not indifferent to you, you should conduct a small experiment: ask him for a small favor or help in some matter. If the young man accepts this with joy, then you should no longer doubt the sincerity of your lover’s feelings!

He copies your gestures and mimics you

A man in love with you will imitate your gestures, movements and postures. This way he can feel closer to you even though your relationship is not deep yet.

Mimicry can be conscious or unconscious. If you watch older married couples on the street, you will see that they are usually perfectly in sync.

This behavior helps establish rapport. A person may do this on purpose to let you know that he is attracted to you. To test this, during a long conversation, change your position and watch the man for a few seconds.

A man can copy not only your movements. He may start wearing the same colors that you prefer, or wear a similar bracelet, etc.

He may also start using the same words or expressions that you often use, or make similar gestures. This is how he subconsciously signals that he is in love with you.

How to find out if a guy likes you or not - checking his feelings for you

We've looked at the signs regarding how to understand that a guy really likes you, but he doesn't show it. There is another interesting way to test his feelings for you. We talk about ways that will help you find out the true intentions of a young man towards a girl.

Option 1. Surprise the young man with your confessions

The method is original and effective. Try to take the initiative by being the first to admit your sympathy. See how he reacts. If there is reciprocity, you will know about it immediately.

Most of all, a guy who has feelings for a girl wants to hear pleasant and honest words from her lips. They will make his eyes shine with happiness.

If the feelings are not mutual, the guy will be puzzled and even a little upset. He will try in any way to change the subject and not look you in the eye.

Option 2. Go through a stressful situation together

Before you understand that the guy you spend time with likes you, but he hides his feelings, you need to go through stress together. And after that, make a decision, taking into account the behavior of the young man in the current conditions.

In difficult times, could you rely on him, did he empathize with you, help you find a solution to the problem, or did he brush you off? The way a guy behaved will tell more than any words.

Option 3. Try to switch to sensitive, provocative topics during communication.

At the same time, pay attention to what the object of sympathy says. Will the young man laugh it off, use obscene language in the conversation, or, when answering you, will he switch to a bitter argument with personal insults? Alas, this is not how a person in love behaves

Option 4: Go on a romantic walk

You can go to the cinema or sit in a cozy cafe. The main thing is to immediately let the guy know that you are not going to make physical contact with him.

Will he be happy about this prospect? And would he go on such a walk? The answer will be positive only if his feelings for you are real.

A young man in love will happily spend time with you, experiencing sincere pleasure from your communication, even when he is sure that intimacy is not worth waiting for.

We looked at all the possible signs of how to understand that a guy really likes you, but he doesn’t show it at all. Find out the feelings of a young man in correspondence, on a walk, at school or at any other opportunity. If all the signs are obvious, then act and let the young man know that you like him.

Results

If there is a suspicion of secret feelings, there is no need to use the moment to somehow ridicule or offend the man. Attempts to provoke jealousy look especially stupid. If the feelings are mutual, try in every possible way to push your chosen one to closer contact. Just don’t go ahead, be tactful. If he still hasn’t confessed his feelings, don’t put pressure on the person. Perhaps his secret passion suits him well and doesn’t count on anything else.

What age difference is optimal or acceptable for you? What other signs can you use to read a person?

What kind of girls do older men like?

Since their youth has already passed, this is what will attract him in a girl

The younger and more beautiful you look, the more he wants to capture your attention.

What kind of girls are there and what do grown men like about them:

You can understand that an adult man likes you if you have intuition and notice little things. He will definitely try to “touch” you (touch your shoulder, straighten your hair, take your hand). Your body is a real temptation for him!

You can learn how to understand how a man feels about you from this article.

An adult man will surround you with his attention and will seek a date. Fulfilling your little whims is a joy for him

Just don't overdo it. Because grown guys don't like dependent girls.

By the way, most older boyfriends do not like to “play games,” so they speak about their intentions almost immediately.

To attract a man's attention, be natural. What does it mean?

It is believed that the process of choosing a partner occurs on a subconscious level

But if this is so, then why is it sometimes very difficult for us to attract the attention of a man who interests us? The fact is that we often suppress body signals designed to tell other people that we are interested in them and that we can be approached

Luckily, you can learn to release these signals and consciously change your body language to subtly attract attention

The fact is that we often suppress body signals designed to tell other people that we are interested in them and that we can be approached

Luckily, you can learn to release these signals and consciously change your body language to subtly attract attention

In order for men and women to show their openness and attract people in whom they are romantically interested, they need to use different means

You must know which signals to send yourself, and which of the signals sent to you to pay attention to

Let's say you are a free, confident woman. You came to a party or are just drinking tea in a cafe. You have the desire and opportunity to find a partner, but how to convince a man to show interest in you? How to get someone who is seeing you for the first time to come up to you and start a conversation? What will help him make you stand out from the crowd? How to convey the necessary information about yourself without the help of words? Let your body speak.

If you want to show that you can be approached, first use signals that indicate that you will not harm the person. If you want to have a partner, your appearance should make you feel safe and approachable.

However, for the modern woman this can be a difficult task. Some of us have become so comfortable with the role of independent, self-sufficient and strong individuals that we simply forget that when we first meet, such an image can scare even a very strong and confident man. What works for women in business can be a major disadvantage when it comes to attracting a romantic partner.

Remember that when it comes to flirting and dating, the softest and most vulnerable part of your personality, which you have learned to protect so well in business, becomes the main attracting force.

You will say: you need to be natural. In fact, this is the most natural behavior. Unnatural is bravado that you use to hide your true self. It is she who repels and scares away men.

He's trying to touch you

Someone who is strongly attracted to you will find different reasons to touch you. He will try to put his arm around your shoulders or lightly touch your arm or knee. If you are in a crowded place, he will be happy to stand closer to you.

When you meet, he will happily shake your hand, and a bolder man may try to hug you. He may even fix your hair and lean closer to you when you talk.

These physical contacts help a man see how a woman will respond to his initiative. Such touches can literally burn you. But if he is a good person, he will respond to your responses and respect your comfort limits. If he feels that you are attracted to him, he will be more bold in showing his sympathy, because one touch can tell a woman much more about a man’s feelings than words or facial expressions.

How to understand that a stranger likes you and not be deceived

Sometimes you can make the mistake of thinking that the stranger you like is also crazy about you.

There are people who are open and friendly under any circumstances.

They always smile at everyone, ready to help and talk. Their natural kindness can be misunderstood as some kind of special attitude. This is why girls continue to ask the question: “How can I tell that a stranger likes me?”

Here you can give the following advice: take a closer look at behavior, understand and analyze actions. If a man is always smiling, then, of course, this will not mean that he likes you in any special way.

It often happens that people are hypocrites in order to achieve some of their goals. For example, some overly cunning employees make it clear that they are in love so that a female colleague will make a report for them. All sorts of gigolos also seek their own benefit, hiding behind very subtle professional compliments and flattery to naive ladies. It's easy for such actors to pretend that they like you, but that's not true at all.

Girls do not lag behind men in this sense, non-verbally showing: “I like you.” They have learned postures and gestures that attract men and actively use them for their own selfish purposes, without feeling any emotions towards the person.

Based on communication on social networks, it is quite funny to try to understand the true attitude of an unfamiliar man. Perhaps he is just bored at this moment and wants to do something with his evening while his wife is not at home. Some people take revenge on their former lovers in this way, while others play a role that is very far from their real essence.

However, deliberate indifference may indicate emerging feelings. A person is simply afraid of looking stupid or getting a negative answer.

Some women want a stranger to woo them himself, and to do this they pretend to be hard to touch.

These ladies forget that men are straightforward creatures, it is difficult for them to understand hints, so such behavior is perceived as an obvious refusal and there will be no continuation of the acquaintance.

But it is impossible to change or fake the look.

And also a blush on the cheeks, dilated pupils, a sudden change in mood “for no reason” - these “beacons” provide the answer.

Taking the first step towards acquaintance is always difficult, because it is unknown how the other party will react to it. It can help to be sure that the object of your sympathy also likes you. This is expressed in his behavior and actions.

You can evaluate the behavior of an unfamiliar man from the outside for a long time, analyze him, or you can immediately make a knight’s move - come up and get acquainted.

Then a lot of time will be saved, which can be properly spent on a pleasant time together.

How to understand that he likes me: signs of sympathy from an unfamiliar guy

If, by constantly communicating with a person, you get to know him more and more and can guess about the existence of feelings, then with a complete stranger, it is much more difficult to understand interest.

Guys are afraid to take the first step. The fear of disappointment that a girl will not share her feelings with him sometimes stops a man. But eye contact, smiles and winks can indicate interest. Modest representatives of the stronger sex will blush if they see you looking at them.
Sometimes a guy can find out about you through friends, take an interest in your life, and ask for your phone number. If you receive a message from a stranger, most likely he didn’t just make a mistake.
When you are nearby, and he is standing in a crowd of acquaintances, he will want to express himself, seem witty, make jokes, and skillfully carry on a conversation.
You can always ask for help, even from a stranger. Hold your bag, find the right classroom at the institute, an office at work. A person in love with you is unlikely to refuse such small services.
Politeness. If a man is not indifferent to you, he will give you a seat in transport, let you go ahead in line, or maybe give you an unobtrusive, light compliment.

Well, the main method is to ask or talk about feelings directly. To do this, you can ask him to walk you home. Thus, if a guy is shy, help him open up.

Behavior of a caring boss and teacher

The manager feels confident - he is in charge here. At first he smiles, looks intently, then he begins to speak outright compliments, and may delay him after the end of the working day on minor issues. Quite quickly he suggests having lunch together or meeting in an informal setting. Can issue bonuses and promotions.

The teacher behaves more modestly. The enchanting gaze of a man in love at the desired woman is used. He may frequently ask the student or make comments. When a girl answers at the blackboard, it is difficult for the teacher to sit still: she will adjust her clothes or twirl something in her hands. He communicates with the student with pleasure, smiles during the conversation, shows his palms, and says compliments. Invites you to communicate outside of school or university.

In love with a student

How to understand that a guy likes you - the main signs

There are several main signs that a guy at school likes you:

Behavioral changes. When a guy likes you, his demeanor begins to change. This can be understood by conversations and gestures. He either becomes too talkative: he begins to talk a lot about himself, brags in order to impress, or, on the contrary, he closes down and becomes shy and self-conscious.

Gesticulation is a special body language that sometimes helps expose a person's feelings and intentions. Try to observe him: his attitude towards you can be expressed through touch. He may often touch your hand, your hair - this is a clear sign that he cares about you. He will also try to always turn in your direction at school, lean closer and be near you more often. Your task is observation.

Sight. As you know, the eyes never lie. Try to meet his gaze and watch his further actions. If he looks away, this may indicate either that he is shy, or that he is indifferent to you. A guy who likes you will not let you out of his sight, he will watch you, but carefully hide it.
Appearance. When a guy wants to please a girl, he makes every effort to impress her. He tries to dress better, have a stylish hairstyle, many even start wearing men's perfume to impress.

Chatting with other girls

Often, in order to interest the girl he likes and attract attention, a guy begins to provoke her to jealousy. He tries to demonstratively communicate and flirt with other girls in order to awaken her feelings

If at the same time the guy glances in your direction and after you leave he stops talking to the girls, then this is a clear sign that he was trying to attract your attention. Increased attention

A person who likes you will use every means to provoke your emotions and seek attention. This can manifest itself in different ways. He will make you angry, cling to you, pull you, find fault with you, or, on the contrary, constantly call you by name, ask for something, ask, and sometimes even help

Increased attention. The person who likes you will use every means to provoke your emotions and seek attention.

This can manifest itself in different ways. He will make you angry, cling to you, pull you, find fault with you, or, on the contrary, constantly call you by name, ask for something, ask, and sometimes even help.

Ostensible indifference. There are situations when a guy, afraid of being exposed and revealing his feelings, begins to carefully hide them and demonstrate complete indifference, sometimes even feigned disdain. Here, try to be more attentive, you can show courage and ask openly what is the reason for this behavior.

How to understand that a guy likes you by correspondence

The Internet has become very firmly rooted in people's lives and has become not only a source of various information, but also an excellent way to make acquaintances and communicate. There are several ways to figure out if a guy likes you by correspondence.

If a guy writes to you often, sends you all sorts of pictures and music, is constantly online, and is in a hurry to wish you good night - all this will indicate his desire to communicate with you.

The best way to find out about his likes is to pay attention to what he writes about and what type of music he sends. You can guess by correspondence how much he likes you

If he shows attention and care, is interested in how your day went and what mood you are in, then this is a clear sign that he is not indifferent to you. Thanks to online communication, people get to know each other

Such acquaintance, which develops into communication, often turns into a live date

Thanks to online communication, people get to know each other. Such an acquaintance, which develops into communication, often turns into a live date.

How to tell by looking that a guy likes you

As they say: “the eyes are the mirror of the soul,” so by looking at you you can determine what a person is experiencing towards you. Usually, if a guy likes a girl, he is constantly looking for a reason to look at her.

But how can you tell by looking whether a person likes you? Try looking at someone for 1-2 seconds, holding your gaze. If he doesn’t look away and smiles, then he obviously likes you. If a guy looks away, then either he is embarrassed by you, or he is indifferent to you.

Pay attention to how he looks at you while talking. After all, the look of a person in love is quite eloquent and will answer your questions better than any words.

He will strive to protect you

When you walk down the street with a man who is interested in you, he will choose the part of the sidewalk that is closer to the cars and will carefully cross a busy road with you. In a crowded bar, he will help you get to the other side of the room, holding your hand.

It may seem like just a brotherly gesture, but in reality a man is flirting with you because he is attracted to you. He hopes to earn your trust and wants to please you. In any dispute or conflict situation, he will take your side and try to protect you.

But a powerful man with possessive tendencies can also act in a similar way, so be able to distinguish between such admirers.

A man who truly cares about you has a healthy mindset. He doesn't want you to feel lonely, hurt or unhappy, but he will respect your privacy.

And a possessive man can pass off constant control as caring for you - he will violate all your personal boundaries: he will strive to check your phone and email messages without asking or prevent you from meeting people who, in his opinion, may pose any threat .