Joint evenings over a bottle of wine near the fireplace and peaceful walks through the city at night, a couple's parachute jump and agonizing anticipation in thoughts of upcoming meetings are the facets of a reverent feeling that arises between a man and a woman. Sincere love stops time and pushes you to do crazy things, awakens hidden potential and breaks beds that cannot withstand the unbridled passion of two hearts. During the romantic period, partners gradually get to know each other, revealing the hidden corners of their own souls. However, lovers often linger at the stage of a promising union, without consolidating their feelings with marriage bonds.
The main reason for this course of events is the uncertainty of the man, who consciously avoids going to the registry office. Considering the woman’s needs in a love relationship, the current situation is not part of her plans, so the girl begins to diligently solve the problem that has arisen. A woman’s dilemma involves many questions to which comprehensive answers will have to be found: what thoughts are the chosen one guided by? What stops a lover? How to help your partner? Why does a man hesitate to propose marriage? Where to look for help? What useful recommendations from psychologists should you follow? Why are men afraid of serious relationships?
Influencing a man with the help of magic and witchcraft is a waste of time. A guy can propose to his chosen one to legitimize the relationship, but the sincerity of the marriage is called into question. Interference in the personal life of otherworldly forces never remains without a trace
Fear of women
Often men are unable to establish a serious relationship because they are fundamentally phobic of being around a woman.
Everything happens for one reason, which can be divided into factors originating in childhood and adulthood.
Reasons from childhood:
- there was an oppressive mother who suppressed her son;
- the child was constantly surrounded by hyperprotection, his mother controlled his every step;
- the boy had a father who protected him from his mother, who was too strict, which led to the formation of the concept that a woman is a scary and strict creature.
Reasons from adult life:
- an unsuccessful relationship with a girl in his youth;
- a major phobia is formed after the first sexual failure, if the partner ridiculed what happened;
- if a man is repeatedly betrayed, he loses faith in the entire female sex;
- reluctance to get involved with girls may be dictated by working in a purely female team, especially if the boss was a woman;
- in a situation where the breakup was initiated by a woman who, when leaving, also hit her harder. A man has lost faith in women, especially if there has been infidelity.
Most often, men who are wary of females are perfectionists, naturally intelligent, well-read and calm, with a good education and a high level of intelligence.
There are known types of women who most often frighten men.
- They are wary of very beautiful girls, as they consider them to be sluts and bitches.
- Authoritarian, strong and aggressive girls, as a rule, frighten with their pressure and excessive masculinity.
- Weak men are wary of self-sufficient and confident girls.
- The most frightening thing is women who are alone for a long time, but at the same time they have not broken down, they have become independent, self-confident and decisive, with high self-esteem.
A man needs to get rid of the phobias that he has. If you do not deprive him of these fears in his youth, then as he grows up this will be much more difficult to do. In some cases, consultation with a psychologist is sufficient.
He's not a serious guy
He fears attachment like fire. It’s difficult to call him modest - he crushes girls like seeds, is always surrounded by the attention of the weaker sex, and has short affairs to a reasonable extent. As soon as a woman crosses the border of his personal space and encroaches on his freedom, he immediately changes tactics:
- He tries to lose sight of her: he hides, does not answer messages and calls, refuses meetings.
- He knocks out a wedge with a wedge: he gets himself a new girlfriend, who is in awe of him and is afraid to scare him away.
- If you can’t get rid of your old love, you simply send it specifically to a “known address.”
Well, that’s what he is - a womanizer and a womanizer. He is used to living alone, and his lifestyle is like in the article about open relationships. By the way, it describes exactly how to behave with such a man. He is not as impenetrable as he tries to seem.
Who doesn't dare to have a serious relationship?
Womanizers avoid serious relationships
There are types of men who, in almost all cases, will be unable to take a serious step.
- A married guy who doesn’t even think about creating a serious connection with his chosen one, he is quite happy with his wife.
- Young people who are too young do not look at life seriously at all; they still have the wind in their heads.
- Womanizer. For him, relationships are just a game from which he enjoys.
- Young people who, in principle, oppose marriage.
- Men with high self-esteem who do not want to be responsible for someone.
- Unbalanced young people.
If your partner belongs to one of the above categories, then you need to realize that starting a family with him is almost impossible, at least at the moment. Of course, the girl can wait until the situation changes. However, she must understand that she will simply lose years, her youth. It is possible that while waiting, the young man may decide to break up, and she will be left broke. If you love your partner very much and understand that he really has phobias before serious relationships, which manifest themselves on an instinctive or subconscious level, then you can give him a chance, help him overcome his fears; if that doesn’t work, consult a psychologist.
Frequent dates
When a guy wants a relationship with you but is hesitant to confess, he will try to spend more time with you by any means necessary. For example, instead of taking the initiative to invite you to dinner, he may hint that he will be in your area on business and ask to go on an excursion or visit.
Instead of directly asking you out on dates, he will find devious ways to try to spend more time with you without resorting to it. It may be easier for him to get an invitation from you.
This way, he doesn't have to risk rejection or ridicule and can still spend time with you. Guys who are intimidated often resort to these types of outdated tactics to hang out with their crushes without any risk of rejection.
Why are they afraid?
A man may be afraid of a serious relationship for fear of losing his freedom and joining his life with a grumpy woman
- A guy who is insecure about his libido may be very worried about this. This is what will scare you when a girl has a desire to live together.
- A young man who does not experience paternal instinct at all may be afraid of a serious relationship precisely for this reason.
- A guy who knows that his chosen one earns significantly more money will be afraid that if they live together, he will hear reproaches in his direction and ridicule from neighbors. Gigolos will happily agree to such a relationship.
- Lack of self-confidence can hinder the desire to start a family.
- A guy may be afraid that with the transition to a more serious level of relationship, he will have to introduce his chosen one to her parents, who may underestimate her and want to separate their union.
- If a guy loves but is afraid of a relationship, perhaps he is worried about losing his independence, afraid that he will be unable to do everything that now gives him pleasure.
- A man who devotes his entire life to work, perhaps a workaholic, worries that the relationship will affect his career.
- A polygamous guy is not inclined to have a serious relationship, because he believes that he has not yet had his fill. Typical womanizer.
- A young man may really not be ready to bear responsibility for a girl to the extent of his age.
- The ex is afraid of the relationship if the breakup was your initiative, which deeply hurt the guy’s heart. Naturally, he is afraid that you will repeat your action again. Moreover, the guy most likely does not create new relationships with anyone for the same reason.
- A man who has recently divorced is not ready to start any kind of relationship right away, especially if he still hasn’t let his ex out of his heart.
- A guy who lives with his mother is definitely afraid of being left without her. A mama's boy decides to have a serious relationship only with a woman who will take care of him and remind him of his mother.
- The fear may be based on a man's belief that all women want to take his wallet and leave. A guy can be scared by the fear of being used.
A man must understand that his purpose is to create a family, to continue his family line. Therefore, it is necessary to fight your fear of a serious relationship. If you can’t cope on your own, don’t be afraid to turn to a psychologist.
Symptoms of a phobia
There are many different symptoms of this disorder. Typically they vary from person to person. They are divided into two categories: psychological and physical.
As for psychological symptoms, some people are afraid of any attachment and run away from it. At the same time, convincing myself: I am afraid of relationships and any manifestation of romance.
Others may enter into an alliance, but they end up becoming possessive or jealous.
Psychological symptoms also include:
- feeling powerless and confused in your emotions and personal life;
- severe anxiety and nervousness;
- maximum suppression of internal experiences;
- completely avoiding places where couples meet, such as parks and movie theaters;
- avoidance of marriage and other wedding ceremonies;
- isolation from the outside world.
Physical signs of the disorder include trembling, rapid heartbeat, fainting, chest pain, sweating, numbness, breathing problems, and nausea.
Panic and anxiety attacks are also common. The patient suffers from frequent dizziness, a desire to run away from everyone and cry for no reason.
Tips for girls
A girl has the power to dispel her partner’s fears
- The young lady can hint at her desire. She can say that she has finally met a guy with whom she would like to live together for many years. Then you need to ask the young man what he thinks about this.
- A girl can directly express her desire to move to the level of a serious relationship. She should talk about her feelings and desires in a calm atmosphere.
- Some young ladies decide to take a drastic step and pose the question head-on, forcing the guy to quickly make a decision or break up. In fact, such behavior can only anger the young man.
- A girl must understand that a man will never want to connect his life with his partner if she constantly reproaches him and deprives him of the joy of life. Therefore, it is important to behave correctly, to show the young man that when moving to a serious relationship in his life, nothing will change or worsen.
- A girl should not show her weakness or show dissatisfaction with her partner’s indecisiveness. You should not throw tantrums and scandals, and demand that the young man move to a new level of relationship.
- A young lady should not get hung up on the desire to start a family; it will be better if she continues to engage in self-development and finds some kind of hobby or hobby.
If a girl sees that her beloved has some fears, she should find the reasons that provoke them and try to rid him of them. The main thing is not to put pressure on your partner, and to be able to support him in difficult times.
Now you know why a man is afraid of relationships. As you can see, there are many reasons that influence this. Therefore, it is important to take a closer look at your partner and try to recognize what exactly is bothering him. Based on the cause of fear, begin your actions. Remember that every young man deserves to be happy by connecting his life with his soulmate.
It’s impossible to please the “Princess”
This is not the first time this has happened to Rita: after the stormy phase of falling in love and idealizing a partner, the second phase comes - humiliation and disintegration of the relationship. I would like to call Rita a “princess” - and the male version of the same type would, accordingly, be a “prince”.
Rita is capable of truly falling in love, and at first sight. In love, she soars in the clouds of her feelings, as if enchanted. But what she is much less adapted to is everyday life with a partner and tolerating his weaknesses.
For her, this is boredom and stagnation, which do not excite her in any way. And she wants to enjoy life to the fullest - the world around her should be exciting, not frozen. For people like Rita, a state of immobility is the same as death.
The same goes for strong relationships. But Rita does not realize this - and is in an eternal search for someone who will offer her a life full of excitement and overcoming.
She asks herself again and again why everyone else is lucky in love and only she always comes across “all sorts of wrong ones.” Disappointed once again, she turns away from her supposed fairytale prince and looks for the next fateful meeting.
The nature of men's fears and complexes
Any fears have deep subconscious origins. Human relationships are based on the functions of receiving and giving, between which there must be a balance. When a person is afraid of giving or receiving, a conflict occurs in the balance of the natural mechanism.
Men's nature is to give. However, if a man avoids developing relationships and is afraid of falling in love, it means that he has internal prohibitions at work on an unconscious level.
READ
The ABC of Feelings: The Psychology of Relationships between a Man and a Woman
The male psyche is designed in such a way that drastic transformations lead to negative experiences or stress. Some guys are committed to tradition, decency and honesty, but they cannot always adapt to change. Such people value modesty, complaisance, and self-respect in women. When expectations and reality do not coincide, an unconscious conflict appears that destroys internal values.
Also sources of unconscious fears or complexes can be:
- negative previous experience;
- desire for leadership;
- fears of failure;
- children's complexes leading to an ambivalent attitude towards sexual contact;
- lack of communication skills with women, which are developed in childhood;
- fast pace of life, causing discomfort or destroying life values;
- fear of being deceived.
