Having created a strong relationship, being close to a person with whom one feels complete unity, having felt strong feelings, some people may have a strong fear of losing their soul mate. If you are familiar with the phrase “I’m afraid of losing the person who is now next to me”, “I feel fear of betrayal, possible betrayal”, then it is important to understand what may provoke such a fear in your particular case. In this article we will look at the possible causes of such fear. You will know what to do in such a situation.
He will always find time for you.
If this is necessary, the man will cancel all his affairs just to spend his free time with you. This means that you are the most important part of his life.
You will never become a burden for this person because he loves you very much and is very afraid of losing you. If you need help, he will always provide it.
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I'm afraid of losing my girlfriend
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I'm afraid of losing my girlfriend
Even in moments of happiness and sincere love, some guys begin to doubt the purity of their girlfriend’s feelings and begin to be afraid of losing her. And sooner or later it begins to take on an extremely depressing appearance, which has a serious effect on moral peace and the physical ability to make love.
It’s difficult to think about something positive and good when every day you are haunted by the thought that tomorrow the girl may leave for someone else, and you will be left completely alone. This provokes illogical and sometimes completely thoughtless actions, jealousy and threats of violence, in extreme cases.
Naturally, no sane girl would want to tolerate such behavior from her boyfriend and may indeed begin to doubt the advisability of a relationship with such an insecure man. This will provoke a new wave of doubts and worries, and everything will again take on a deplorable character. To avoid this scenario, there are a few tips to consider.
Why relationships deteriorate
It’s hard to believe, but almost every relationship eventually begins to fall apart at the seams, deteriorate and become a little more boring than it was at the time they met and formed. But brightness and novelty do not pass without a trace. In their place comes understanding, trust and love. And that's completely normal.
But many guys, who are used to seeing and not feeling, begin to sound the alarm due to the fact that the girl is no longer so willing to agree to go for a walk at night, looking at her, she is not so varied in bed, and in general she has begun to discuss with you to a greater extent their problems rather than the admiration of a relationship with you. In other words, men begin to worry that they no longer see the fire in their girls, and they do not want to accept the fact that the fire from the eyes turns into the warmth of the heart.
In this case, you just need to analyze the situation and honestly answer a simple question: “Does the girl see her future with you?” If the answer is “Yes,” then you shouldn’t worry and sound the alarm where there is none. If the answer is “No,” then you need to move on to active action.
What to do to avoid losing a girl
As a rule, in relationships, girls pursue fairly simple and understandable goals: be it a future family, recreation with entertainment, spiritual understanding, or material support with gifts. And it’s safe to say that one of this goals will always be much more important than all the others. And, therefore, you need to understand: “What does the girl want from a relationship with you?”
If you clearly understand that you satisfy most of her requests and desires, then she can leave you only in extreme cases: betrayal, betrayal, physical violence or ordinary stupidity.
If you are having problems making your girlfriend's demands come true. So you either need to work on it, or find a girl who suits you better. Because sooner or later such a girl will still choose another man.
It is important to know and remember:
Men treat the manifestation of love quite simply - I love, I give flowers, I do something nice. Those. a desire that turns into a result. Women value more not the result, but the process itself. This means that small gifts every day will be more effective than a large gift once a year. The same goes for the expression of feelings, emotions and sexuality. Women always need this, albeit in a small portion. Know how to use it!
Dealing with uncertainty
Uncertainty most often arises from the fear that you may end up in a worse situation than you currently have. But the more hesitant you act, the worse your situation with the girl becomes. Because only the man who thinks that this is the only girl who agreed to be with him is afraid of losing. Confident people know that if not one, then another, and women see this and hold on! This means you need:
Money and prospects. When choosing between an attentive and a rich man, most girls will choose the rich man, since with him there will be fewer financial problems and more opportunities to prove themselves as a real woman. This means that you need to take some time to work on your financial situation and prospects. Women don't leave successful men!
Physical health. To be confident you need to be happy with your appearance. For men, this most often lies in physical health and the volume of excess folds on the abdomen. Fortunately, there are now places where this can be resolved fairly quickly.
Impudence. A man must be a little arrogant so that a woman sees in him not just consumers, but also a real conqueror. Therefore, you need to learn to put your interests a little higher than the interests of your girlfriend. And the main thing is to skillfully show this to her, so that she knows that everything will happen, but your problems will be solved first.
What do we end up with?
The fear of losing a girl is largely explained by a man’s insecurity and lack of understanding of the girl’s goals. If you can take care of yourself and understand the girl’s desires, then all fears will pass, and you will become a real ideal for your chosen one.
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Fear of losing brings separation closer
Fear of losing is the most insidious and destructive fear for relationships. A woman who is afraid of losing her beloved binds herself, but not him.
The more afraid you are, the more a man feels superior to you. The man remains as independent and free. While you lose your independence, sharp mind, enthusiasm and bright personality.
And then a terrible thing happens - he becomes bored with you, and, no matter how hard you try, he begins to look past you. I remember the famous aphorism: “You can open your mouth in admiration and close it with a yawn.”
I don’t like the saying: “The less we love, the easier it is to be liked.” The fear of losing someone's attention and the range of accompanying benefits are often confused with love.
Why be afraid that your loved one will leave? If you really love him, let him go in search of a better life. Not only “spiritually enlightened” people, but also simply conscious people, let go, lovingly, for strategic purposes: “Darling, do you feel bad with me? Did I not live up to your expectations? I wish you to find the one that will make you happy.” After all, it is better to love at a distance for some time than to infringe on your “I”. It's better than whining: “What's wrong? Wait, I’ll fix everything!” Give your fears a “bye” handle. Then no one will risk giving you an ultimatum: “Either you do as I dictate, or you remain sobbing into your pillow.”
And the same story is popular at all times. He pursues her while she remains herself and is not afraid of anything, and when she finds herself completely at ease, she already wants him to be with her.
Where does this fear come from?
It comes from the same place as all other horrors - from the inability to understand and love oneself and evaluate the current situation.
“I’ll say what I want to receive as a gift, and he’ll take me for a sellout.”
For pathological misers, who will take you for exactly that, all women are divided into two main categories: cheap givers and expensive ones. Which category do you prefer to be in?
“I will refuse him and will remain alone indefinitely.”
When you know how to use the resource of loneliness to strengthen your influence not only on men, but also on your own life as a whole, you will stop experiencing such fear - how to achieve this is written in the book Secrets of Manipulation for the Experienced.
- I agree too early, and he “uses me and leaves me.”
If you learn how to behave correctly after sex, it’s still a question of who is using whom. How to behave after everything happens for the first time, so that you are not tormented by this fear, is described in the book Falling in Love by Causing Pain (Conquer a Manipulative Man).
There are many options for the fear of losing, but the result is the same: when you are afraid of something, you lose energy, and later, a man’s interest in you. That’s why it happens that you seem to be doing everything “by the rules,” but in the end you get a punch on the nose and the collapse of all hopes.
To get away from these fears, you need to face the truth and accept it as a fact:
1. Men, consciously or not, play on these fears with most women. If you throw away the fear of losing, you will already surpass all of his “current and previous” ones, which will hook him stronger.
2. The fear of losing prevents you from being yourself, which means it kills your natural charm. That same inimitable charm that you will not get from any manual on professional seduction.
3. Your fear of losing a man is noticeable even when you try to “show off . Because if you are overestimating yourself, and a man feels that your self-esteem is not really up to the mark, he tells you: “Don’t fool me!” - gets up and leaves. Feeling the fear of losing in you, he feels absolute superiority over you, and is sure that when he leaves, you will blow yourself up and run after him.
One of my relatives, who is over fifty, and who has already acquired both a tummy and gray hair, still continues to play on these fears with the most beautiful and young women. Moreover, he doesn’t buy them—in principle, he doesn’t spend a penny on them. He does the following. At the first meeting, he amazes her with his brilliant intellect and erudition, admiring glances, then takes her phone and calls only a week later. What happens next? What happens next varies, but usually this manipulator-provocateur wins. Looking at the photos of his young and charming girlfriends, I couldn’t resist asking: “Can you demonstrate how you breed them?” He takes his cell phone and calls one of the beauties right in front of me.
He, in a velvety voice: “I missed you.”
She: “Me too.”
He: “If so, come.”
She: “Maybe we’ll meet in a cafe.”
He: “It’s not serious. If you don't have much time today, call when you have it. I’ve found time for you.”
She: “Maybe tomorrow?”
He: “When you find enough time for me, call me.”
This is how a person, on the one hand, shows his interest, and on the other, his inflexibility. What's the secret? He's not only not afraid to lose , he thinks he's the best. He is sure that even a belly suits him.
But one day he called me himself: “Listen, such a bixa came to my work, such...”
- Which? - I ask
- Well... she's kind of special. I look at her and understand that she will never bow down to anyone. I don’t even know what to do with her?
– Use your usual tricks.
- I used it - nothing gets through it, I can’t find any weakness in it. Yes. She wants me to hire her, she talks very politely, but, you know, she acts as if she has so many offers.
– Does she tell you about this?
- No! She is silent about it, but she is silent in such a way that you can really hear it!
To be continued
Tamara Paliy Google+
manipulation-female pickup-Matriarchy.Light–FAQ
Are men afraid of losing a woman?
Even the most determined and stern man, as he may seem at first glance, is afraid of something deep down in his soul. One of these fears may be the fear of losing a loved one. Having met their ideal, representatives of the stronger sex usually do not doubt, but immediately understand - here she is, the girl of his dreams. And her sudden loss becomes a real disaster. The stronger our romantic character, the more afraid he is.
For the sake of his beloved, a man is ready for anything - adventure, extreme sports, any new impressions. For him, the main thing is her smile and good mood.
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He will not beat around the bush about his ideal, but will immediately admit his feelings. And if she gives a positive answer, a happy future is guaranteed for both. But in order for a partner to look ideal in his eyes, she must meet certain requirements:
- be able to enjoy life;
- be energetic and charge others with your energy;
- look so that you can admire her;
- have some kind of hobby;
- believe in your chosen one;
- do not speak badly about him in the presence of other people;
- be able to listen and support;
- There should be something to talk to her about.
It turns out that beauty in this matter is not the most important thing. For a man to be afraid of losing you, you must become indispensable to him.
Why are men afraid of relationships?
AQUARIUS Fear #11: Losing freedom and independence
Aquarians are considered one of
the worst husbands
; they value their freedom and independence very much. If Aquarius feels that they are putting limits on him in relationships, that they are trying to control him too much, his exaggerated sense of freedom
simply destroys relationships, even if there is love. No Aquarius can stand dependence, so they will do anything to get rid of it.
The fear of losing freedom is often accompanied by a rejection of the family altogether, because where there is a family, there is responsibility and a sense of duty. Aquarius would rather be lonely than loaded with such burdens
. Only a very understanding woman, and one who herself knows the taste of freedom, can understand such men and live calmly with their fears without interfering.
PISCES Fear No. 12: losing love, losing sympathy and mutual understanding in relationships, losing a reliable rear in the person of a woman
A man born under the sign of Pisces is afraid of quite a lot in relationships.
But first of all, he is afraid of losing his feelings.
For him, being in love is very important, this is the basis of everything.
Usually his feelings are deep and strong, and he demands the same from his other half. He is afraid that the other half will not take care of, pity and cherish him, and he will be deeply unhappy if a woman treats him without due attention.
Pisces men are often not strong representatives of their gender; their sensitivity and strong vulnerability makes them vulnerable to dangers
. This is the type of man in whose eyes you can see tears in moments of despair or failure. The Pisces man is afraid that a woman will not act as a reliable shoulder in those moments when he needs moral support.
Chameleons
Men are also wary of women who behave and speak in ambiguous and vague ways. It is difficult for them to look for hidden meaning in words; guys do not like understatement and are ready for interaction and communication only when they fully understand what is wanted and expected from them. It’s hard for them to guess when a woman wants to say “yes” instead of “no.” They are irritated by the phrase “maybe” or “maybe.” Women do not always understand what they themselves want, and it is unfair to demand that men accurately guess their desires. It is a rare man who has such patience that will allow him to go through possible options for a long time and analyze them. You need to communicate with a man in a language they understand. If you want to get what you have in mind from him, then you will have to talk about it as clearly and frankly as possible in order to satisfy your desire and not be disappointed.
Which women do men hold on to with their hands and feet?
Sometimes you look at how caring and attentive a husband is to his wife, but does not notice other women around at all, and you are amazed. And she is not a beauty at all, how could she tie him to her so tightly with invisible threads?!
The fact is that everyone's concept of beauty is different. Some people like tall ladies, some like short ones. Someone is crazy about crumpets, and give someone else one that has “no skin, no face.”
In order for a man to hold on to your skirt and not let go, it is not necessary to have parameters of 90:60:90, having undergone a lot of plastic surgery. It is important to be well-groomed and attractive, and beauty is a relative concept.
!— Yandex.RTB RA-461895-21 — >
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As a wife, he would rather take a well-tailored donut who radiates kindness than a skinny bitch who is only suitable for the role of a mistress. A man remembers how his mother took care of him as a child, and chooses an equally caring soul mate as his companion. After all, she will be able not only to take care of him, but also to adequately raise their common children.
In addition, the lady of his heart should be a good conversationalist so that it would be interesting to spend time alone with her. And it is not at all necessary to show him your wisdom, so as not to hurt the painful male pride. You can simply quietly guide your chosen one in the right direction so that he reaches the heights of success, and let him think that he has thought of everything himself.
The ability to compromise is an important factor in his attraction. There is no need to organize protests and hysterics; it is better to try to come to an agreement by giving in on the little things. He will appreciate such treatment.
On the one hand, the ideal wife should be feminine, and on the other, strong. This mix of opposites can bind even the most obstinate partner to itself.
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And, of course, he will cherish his soul mate who loves him and always makes it clear. A man will strive with great desire to go to a home where he is awaited with impatience and joy. The path to the heart through the stomach has also not been canceled, and after a delicious dinner a warm bed with a passionate wife who never has a headache awaits him.
Adviсe
- Realize that you have fear. Sit in a cozy, quiet place, left alone with yourself, try to write on a piece of paper why this scares you. Perhaps you are afraid of loneliness. If this is the case, then think about why you are so afraid to be alone, and so on, unwind the ball in search of the true cause of the fear of loss.
- Learn to be an integral person, independent of someone, to be an independent individual. It is unacceptable to feel like an addition to the other person; a couple must have partners who are equal, integral and independent. No one should tell anyone what to do or how to behave. It is important to be able to build personal boundaries, to do what interests you, and not to bend under someone else. Otherwise, there will be a dependent relationship rather than a healthy union.
- Sometimes you can cope with fear by imagining that what you fear has already happened. Try to feel what emotions will be inherent in you at this moment. Think about how to act correctly in such a situation so as not to give up, not to fall apart, but to continue to live normally.
- If you are confident that you are in a healthy relationship, you can share your concerns with your significant other. And sometimes it’s enough to discuss everything with your loved one so that not a trace of the surging fear remains. You need to choose the right time for such a conversation, when you can be alone, in a calm environment, and nothing will distract you.
- Remember that your life is the most valuable; you don’t need to get hung up on the people who are nearby at the moment. Even if this happens and your partner leaves, it means that this person is not the one you need, you are still looking for your soulmate, your happiness is yet to come. It is unacceptable, even mentally, to give up on yourself.
- If you are afraid of breaking up with your partner due to the existing fear of death, loss of loved ones, then you need to work through this phobia. It is important to realize that death may be the beginning of a new life, or that people may go to a better place after they leave. If you cannot work through this phobia on your own, you should consult a psychologist or psychotherapist.
- Do auto-training, program yourself for positive emotions. If you feel very anxious, start taking sedatives or herbal infusions (as recommended by your doctor).
- To relax, use candles with aroma oils, take a bath with the addition of essential oils or herbal infusions, in particular chamomile or lemon balm. You can also engage in spiritual practices that will allow you to look into your inner world and relax. Meditation or yoga will help you with this.
- Sometimes it is very difficult to work through an emerging phobia on your own. In such a situation, you should contact an experienced specialist. A psychologist or psychotherapist will identify the true cause of what is happening, select a method of healing that is suitable specifically for you, and, if necessary, prescribe medications to help relieve nervous tension.
Learn not to think about the future, live in what surrounds you at the moment, solve problems as they arise.
It is important to understand that fears are not born out of nowhere; something definitely preceded your fear and you need to deal with it. Having decided on the cause, choose the appropriate action plan to get rid of the developed fear. If you cannot cope on your own, seek help from an experienced specialist.
