Is it right for a girl to write to a guy first? Who should write first, a guy or a girl?

Reasons why a guy might not text first

There are a number of explanations for male silence. And if a girl at least roughly understands the character of her chosen one and his psychology, then she can herself understand which factor works in a particular situation.

So, the man doesn't text first because:

The most unpleasant motivation for his behavior for girls is that the guy simply wasn’t interested . A man by nature is a breadwinner, a hunter. And if the target does not seduce him, he will not hunt it, i.e. call, write and otherwise try to seek communication.
The young man has a shy character, he is timid and unsure of himself. He may want to continue communication, but is afraid that his initiative will be perceived as intrusive. Or the guy completely doubts that he is interested in the girl.
Not least among the reasons is the dislike of many young people for communicating on social networks, SMS correspondence and other methods of communication through writing. These guys prefer telephone or live communication.
During your communication, something happened that could make him angry or offended. Perhaps an awkward situation occurred, a rude word was uttered by the girl, an ironic glance was cast, and other moments that make the man take offense.
A possible reason for silence, which has absolutely nothing to do with this girl, could be intense busyness, trouble, a serious problem and other negative aspects that arose in the life of a young man and absorbed all his attention. To put it simply, he simply has no time for communicating with the fair sex right now.
The man liked another girl , and at the moment he is busy “hunting” for new prey. There's nothing you can do about it, you just have to wait until he satisfies his hunting instincts. If the girl is not ready to wait, it is better to forget about such a guy right away, since his desire to conquer and conquer will not go away.
The reason may lie in the behavior of the girl herself . For example, she wants to look smarter, more beautiful, more mysterious in the eyes of a man. Hence the artificiality and falsehood that a man senses a mile away. Naturally, it is unlikely that you will write to such a lady.

What to write to a guy first? Example of possible phrases

What do they usually write in the first messages? “Hello”, “Are you okay”, “What are you doing?” You can’t hook a guy like that... No one says that you need to enter with aces, but in order for a man to want to open your message to him, you should write something interesting.

Romantic people may assume that a man will be interested in “What a beautiful sunset today.” No. Straightforward ladies will write “Let's not pull the cat by the balls.” And again by.

This is why it’s worth looking at his profile. There will definitely be something there that you can grab onto. Pay attention to his interests, place of work and photo. Photographs can clearly show his hobbies.

Examples of messages:

Catch on to his sense of humor if there are jokes or funny photos in the profile.

I love people with a sense of humor!
And you are funny!
Hello. Tell us the secret of your excellent sense of humor?

Remember that men want to be knights for their ladies. So you can put pressure on this feeling. The main thing is not to joke about gifts for your husband or boyfriend. This is definitely not something that should be written in the first message.

Hello. Here's the thing... My brother's birthday is coming up, and I don't know what to give him. I see you are interested in bicycles. What would you be pleased to receive as a gift?
Listen, I don’t know much about hookahs, but a friend asked me to choose one for her as a gift. Can you help please?
You are so athletic... And where to start working out in the gym. Otherwise, I only study at home, but I feel that this is not enough for me.

Look at his photo in detail, maybe he traveled somewhere you have long dreamed of visiting or have already been and really liked it.

Oh, I see you were in Marmaris. Which hotel did you stay at?
You have such cool photos from Italy. I have also been dreaming of visiting it for a long time. Can you give me some guidance on what to pay attention to and what to visit?
You are such a traveler! Where do you look for accommodation or do you take tours through tour operators? I'm just planning a trip, but I don't know where to start.

Intrigue. It always attracts attention. Just don’t overdo it, you don’t need to make long pauses between his answer and your next message. The guy must be sure that you are interested in him, and not a stupid bot who sends spam.

I saw this on your profile!
I read your profile, and now I can’t get the question out of my head...
What are you doing! This is simply impossible!

Focus on his interests. The main thing here is to read the profile carefully.

How old is your dog and what breed is it?
Is such a machine very difficult to maintain? Are there any nuances?
I see you love to cook. What's the best thing to serve with salmon? This is my first time cooking it.

If you find familiar places in his photo, you can hint that you have been there too. What a coincidence, it would be a shame not to meet!

I see you have a photo from this cozy restaurant? This is one of my favorite places in our city! Do you go there often?
Are you, by any chance, running along the embankment in the photo? My morning jog takes place there too. Maybe we've already met?
Oh, is this the ski resort I'm thinking about? It's so cool there! When were you there?

If you can still lie something about a gift to a friend, brother, dad and travel, then it’s better not to lie about familiar places. Otherwise, it will turn out awkward that you yourself hinted that you know these places like the back of your hand, but in reality you are lost in two pillars.

In general, you can catch on to anything. The main thing is not to start with banality. Look, it’s clear that you didn’t decide to write to a guy with whitefish in his teeth and one blurry photo. That is, your chosen one is an excellent candidate for conquering women’s hearts. Most likely, you are not the only one who wrote to him, but it is your message that should stand out among the crowd of “Hello” and “You are handsome,” you know?

Reasons why a girl might text first

There are a number of reasons that enable a girl to break the generally accepted opinion and write to a guy first. When can I write first?

These include:

If the guy is one of those who prefer telephone conversations and direct communication , and the relationship with the girl is already quite serious, the girl may well allow herself to gently hint, including in writing, that she would be very pleased to read and re-read the words of her lover addressed to her .
A girl can be the first to contact a guy with a letter if she is guilty before the man, and this is what caused his stubborn and long silence.
The girl understands that the young man likes her, but he is so indecisive and unsure of himself that he simply does not dare to write to her. Then you can take the initiative to push the guy to action.
There are men who masterfully pause just to observe how a girl will behave. If a representative of the fair sex understands that she has come across just such a specimen, she can let him know that she is capable of acting decisively.
If a girl likes a guy on any social network, and even more so on a dating site, then it is quite acceptable to show your interest in him, doing it naturally, naturally and unobtrusively .
She is simply bored, feels lonely and wants to do something, for example, find an interesting interlocutor. Then the girl writes to the guys for fun.
The girl needs help or advice from a man . In this case, she clearly indicates the purpose of her letter, but this does not mean that such “business” communication will not develop into something more personal.
The girl writes first to the guy with whom she was previously in a relationship. Perhaps she wants them back?

“No, I’m scared, I’ll remain an old maid”

No question, it's your personal choice. Get 40 cats and enjoy life. Today you’re scared to write to your guy first, tomorrow you’re scared to ask for a promotion, the day after tomorrow you’re scared to go on vacation. Fear is normal.

Really, what's the worst thing that could happen if you text a guy first? The maximum is that he will refuse or ignore you. All. What will you lose by doing this? Honor? Dignity? Virginity? You haven’t even seen his face, why piss with boiling water?

Moreover, I’ll tell you a little secret: when a girl writes first, she automatically gets +100 added to her karma. Even if a guy doesn’t like you, he will definitely try to read your profile. Of course, if you think about what to write to the guy first.

Who should text first: a guy or a girl?

And again - about stereotypes that always give the initiative to men . This has been going on for a long time, and is still almost the generally accepted norm. Of course, such a social worldview assumes that in any case the guy should take the first step in a relationship by writing to the girl he likes. There is a certain logic in this, because by remaining silent and not deciding to take action, you can miss the chance and then regret it for a long time.
But let's take into account that the psychology of a girl today is already different . Representatives of the fair sex are more decisive than men, and for the most part more proactive. Therefore, in our time, public opinion is no longer an obstacle for a girl - she achieves her goal without really looking back at it.
In addition, by writing first, the girl will in any case intrigue the man – if not with her beauty, then with her courage . Therefore, it is unlikely that he will want to leave her message unanswered - he will simply become interested in finding out what kind of person this is. Thus, the girl is given the opportunity to demonstrate her best qualities in the process of communication.

If the girl does not specifically write to the guy in order to puzzle him and make him think about the reasons for her silence, then it is possible that he, in turn, may begin to ignore her, especially if the relationship is only in the initial stage.
Therefore, there is only one conclusion: you should not think about “what people will say.” You need to act as your heart and feelings tell you. If a girl wants to write to a guy first, she can do it. The same applies to guys: you like a girl, you want to communicate with her - you need to write boldly.

Why is it so scary to write first?i

It is quite natural to be afraid of ruining a relationship with a person that you want to preserve. The fear of seeming intrusive, of disturbing your partner at the wrong time and thereby irritating him, often occurs if you are interested in each other, but have not yet become close enough.

Another reason is artificially cultivated by our culture. Some people find it indecent that a girl can take the initiative. In our realities, when women work full time on an equal basis with men, contribute to the family budget, which is difficult to overestimate, and also have all civil rights and responsibilities, this form of modesty is just a relic of the past, inconvenient and even dangerous.

How can a girl understand whether she should text a guy first or not?

When tormented by the question “should I write first or wait until he writes himself?”, it is best for a girl to analyze several points.
First, think about whether she really likes the guy so much that she is ready to ignore established norms . If a girl feels that her life is full even without the presence of this young man in her, then it is hardly worth sending a message. In this case, it is better to really wait for the first step on his part. If it is done, great, the girl will be able to better understand whether a man is dear to her. If not, no tragedy will happen, because she already has something to do, and there are a lot of guys around.
Secondly, “dig” into the possible reasons for the guy’s silence, which are listed above. Having carefully examined each of them, we can come to the conclusion that if a man is interested in a girl, then sooner or later he will get in touch. Therefore, if a girl is committed to a serious relationship, then it is better in this case to show patience and restraint and wait for his letter. If it doesn’t follow, it means that the guy doesn’t consider the girl as his potential companion, and then it’s especially not worth writing.
And thirdly, if a girl understands that she will write anyway, because she cannot remain in the unknown any longer, then there is no need to do it rashly. It is better to think through all your actions and arrange them into a consistent plan, providing for possible scenarios. This way you are much more likely to achieve success in a relationship with a guy.

Should I write first?

Is it good or bad

Photo by Mikhail Nilov: Pexels
On the one hand, this allows people with an introvert psychotype to fully contact society without unnecessary discomfort. But on the other hand, communication problems arise in the real world.

And now the most pressing question facing girls is whether it is possible to write to a man first. It doesn’t matter whether you’ve known each other for a long time or just started talking last weekend.

Here it is no longer a question of ethics, but of a pathological reluctance to impose. Recently, all people have become more abstracted from each other.

Many girls are afraid to show attention to the opposite sex on their own, because they do not want to be misunderstood. You like a man, but communication with him has reached a dead end and it’s unclear what to do now? You can sit and wait until the guy is finally ready for initiative. But what if he himself is worried and afraid no less than you? Let's look at this issue in more detail.

Should a girl write first if she likes a man?

In principle, there is nothing wrong with this. If a girl cannot decide to call a man who has attracted her attention, she may well send him an SMS or message on a social network.
And she will be sure that her message has been read, and then she will be able to understand whether it is worth continuing communication. If the guy doesn't answer, you shouldn't insist. Since the reasons why he is silent are unknown. Perhaps he is busy, and then he will definitely answer after some time. If there is no answer for several days, it is better to switch your attention to another man.
At the same time, the girl should remember that by writing a message first, she takes upon herself not only the initiative in building relationships, but also a certain responsibility for them.

Preparation

Before you write to a guy first, you should take care of your profile and high-quality photos. Important: the photographs must be recent, and not ten years ago, when you were slim and beautiful. Look, if you come up with something interesting to write to a guy, he will definitely start reading your profile and looking at your photos.

This is like the second stage of an interview; you also need to prepare for it. This means that your profile should be interesting enough for the guy to want to continue acquaintance, but not too informative so that he doesn’t immediately know everything about you.

You need to give the guy room for imagination. For example, “I’m interested in handicrafts” - are you weaving baubles or are you playing well with your pen with his friend in the cinema? Understand?

Before you decide what to write to your guy first, don’t forget to check his profile. Maybe he's some kind of pervert who dreams of sniffing your panties and nothing more. Do you need this? Therefore, to the question: “should you write to a girl to the first guys you come across?” I will answer with a clear “no”.

Study his profile, what he is interested in, maybe there will be some clues in the photo for you. By the way, it is in his profile that you can find the reason for the first message. Guys usually don't say much, but we always post photos of us being cool. So if the profile is empty, look for clues in the photo.

Should a girl text first if a man suddenly stops texting her?

A girl, of course, can write first if she knows the guy well and has been dating or corresponding for quite a long time, and he suddenly fell silent . At the same time, it is important to observe a sense of proportion and tact, respecting the personal freedom of another person.
You should not bombard him with messages. After a week or two of silence, asking an unobtrusive question: “How are you? Are you okay?”, you just need to wait for the guy’s reaction. If he explains the reason, whatever it may be: the hobby of another, problems, illness, etc., the girl will not be tormented by the unknown.
If he continues to remain silent, well, most likely, he really does not want to continue communication.

After the first intimacy

If several hours have passed after a hot date or sex, and the guy doesn’t call or write, don’t rush things. Let the man come to his senses, analyze what happened, and rest. Most likely, tomorrow morning or afternoon he will write to you himself, ask for a meeting, set up a romantic date.

If a couple of days or a week have passed since sex, you should think about it. A quick intimacy with a man you don’t know well is not always a good option for developing a relationship; the young man could become disappointed in the lady, and then he will disappear forever.

To stop torturing yourself with doubts for a week, it’s better to call. If you can survive his silence without stress, forget about your new acquaintance and build a new relationship.

How to write to a guy first?

If a girl decides that she will write first, it is important to compose her message correctly, competently and easily so that it makes it possible to maintain an easy and relaxed dialogue.
You should not use well-worn clichés and stereotyped phrases - they make an unpleasant impression, and the guy may get the idea of the girl as a limited person.
It is necessary to make an effort and try to interest the young man in a topic that would be interesting to him and which the girl could easily support in the course of further communication.
literacy is not discussed . If a girl is not sure that she writes without errors, she should use dictionaries, spell check programs, etc. It may take more time to write such a message, but the man will not get the impression of the interlocutor as an illiterate and uninteresting person. In addition, an incorrectly composed sentence can completely distort the meaning of the message, and then the man will not understand what is being said, or, worse, will understand it incorrectly.
For the first message you should also not use emoticons, use Caps Lock. Until it becomes clear in what style a man communicates, you should write simply and restrainedly. If the correspondence develops, then it will be possible to gradually use additional opportunities for electronic communication.

How to write correctly

Popular point of view2

The experience of many generations of women, mixed with constraining, outdated cultural attitudes, dictates to girls that it is undesirable to seek contact first. It is believed that an interested man will always find the time and resources to make the first step. This approach, firstly, reduces the risk of being rejected, and secondly, it saves time that the girl can spend on more determined fans.

However, the attitudes of “a woman should” and “a man should” erase the identities of people who mean much more than gender. A man who sincerely sympathizes with a lady may actually be burdened by the same doubts as her: will he be rejected, and even in a humiliating, painful way? Will the woman feel threatened if he is too pushy?

Is it right to write to a girl first: conclusion

Summarizing all of the above, we can come to the conclusion that there is no universal advice: to write or not to write first. It all depends on the situation, the stage the relationship is at, the reasons why the guy doesn’t write, etc.
Once Tatyana Larina broke the generally accepted rules and dared to be the first to write to Onegin. This act, unheard of at that time, does not cause surprise to anyone today, much less censure. Therefore, any girl has the right to act as she herself sees fit.

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How to call a man without looking stupid

When a woman thinks whether to call or write to a man first, if he does not write himself, then the main problem is an awkward situation. The lady is afraid of seeming stupid, intrusive and saying something wrong. Practical psychology will come to the aid of indecisive ladies.

To avoid looking stupid when calling a guy, do this:

Choose the right time to call. It is better to call from 18 to 21 pm or during your lunch break at work. There is no need to disturb a stranger at night or early in the morning.
Consider the purpose of the call. This could be a compliment to your date or a question that you yourself just can’t find the answer to. For example, “Honey, I forgot the name of the movie you advised me to watch. Can you say it again?”
Keep it short. Get your question answered and say goodbye. Inadvertently, you can say that you are waiting for his call at any time. If the guy is in the mood for communication, he himself will suggest not to hang up so quickly.

Guys love to help girls out of difficult situations. The ideal time for a call is to ask for help.

Have the right to speak and use it5

The times when a woman could not directly talk about her sympathy, but only hint at it, are long gone.

A man has no way of knowing when you've sprained your ankle and need real help and when you're trying to get his attention by feigning helplessness.

Words are the only reliable way to convey your feelings. Using them to communicate your likes and dislikes directly is a right that past generations of women have had to fight for. And it’s not at all a forced necessity due to the fact that modern men seem to be not decisive enough.

What if everything goes wrong?

For example, will you quarrel as a result of the correspondence you initiated, or will the guy not answer you, or will he really consider you intrusive and stupid? If this happens, the problem is definitely not in your initiative, but in a man’s inability to communicate normally, exposure to his stereotypes, unwillingness to pay attention to you and disinterest in maintaining a relationship. And then you should just close the correspondence with him and never return to it!

Website www.sympaty.net – Beautiful and Successful. Author: Daria Blinova. Learn more about the site's authors.