Why a girl doesn’t text first: 8 possible reasons (too early to panic)

She was told something unpleasant about you6

Girls constantly discuss young people, if a couple of days ago you wrote to ten of her other friends, rest assured, she already knows about it, and if she stopped responding, most likely she was not impressed by your promiscuity.

If she knows your ex, this is the biggest setback, especially if you broke up on a bad note. Most likely, they have already washed your bones and considered you unworthy.

Don't despair. This situation can always be corrected by the same conversations with mutual friends.

How to act

It is important to calm down and wait. Suddenly the girl calls back

Let's look at what to do in such a situation.

1. You must realize that a phone number is not a guarantee that they will definitely start a relationship with you.
2. There is no need to call an infinite number of times and, especially, write messages with reproaches and questions. This is how you point out your inadequacy and weakness.
3. There may be several reasons why this happened, perhaps you don’t even know about them. Therefore, you need to cool down and wait a little. Perhaps she will call you back.
4. Alternatively, you can try to get in touch with her using social networks. Try to show your good side by carefully studying the information on her page. Find common topics of conversation.
5. Try to identify the possible reason for her silence. Think about how the meeting went:

• she enjoyed the communication or was looking for a reason to leave quickly;
• was there a smile on her face, did she like what you said;
• did she engage in dialogue or ask questions?

By answering these questions, you will understand whether there was really interest or just a desire to break up as quickly as possible. If the young lady still showed interest in you, then perhaps the girl is not picking up the phone because she can’t or, for example, the phone is on silent mode and she has not yet seen the missed calls.

As you can see, there are many options. If you call and don’t hear the girl’s voice on the other end, there could be several reasons why. The main thing to remember is that frequent calls can cause negative emotions in a young lady. Control yourself and be patient. If your communication should take place, then she will definitely call back.

Obsessiveness

Another fear is to be intrusive, sticky, annoying. Wouldn't you think that about her if she wrote first? Is it convenient for you to receive her SMS so early in the morning? Or will it be distracting during working hours? Won't you be annoyed?

If a girl doesn’t respond to messages at all, then I recommend reading why in my article (opens in a new window). If she responds quite actively and constantly, then you can exhale - she really likes you and she gives you the green light.

Psychologist's advice

A situation where a relationship with a beloved woman is destroyed before our eyes unsettles even the most self-possessed and strong guy. Often, when trying to correct the situation, men make many mistakes that repel the lady more.

In order not to worsen the situation, psychologists advise men to listen to the following recommendations:

• do not call the girl and stop writing endless messages on the Internet - this behavior is not entirely normal and can alienate your beloved even more;
• do not blame her, trying to relieve yourself of responsibility for what is happening;
• do not pester her friends and relatives with questions about her;
• forget about obsessive displays of attention;
• do not try to evoke pity;
• do not drink alcohol to show her how hard it is for you;
• do not become depressed, try to lead a normal lifestyle;
• do not try to arouse jealousy at the expense of another woman - the risk of losing the girl forever is too great.

Take a time out. Don't throw yourself into the pool headlong. Only a cold mind will help you find the right way out.

It's good when misunderstandings in relationships are resolved quickly. But if there is no communication with your beloved girl for more than three weeks, then you do not need to count on a positive outcome of the meeting. The most a guy can hear is: “Let's be friends.” If you do not want to lose a woman dear to your heart, do not bring the situation to a critical point.

Too caught up in what's going on in her life2

This is the girl you probably don't want to be in a serious relationship with because she's too busy to give you time. It’s worth giving her time to sort out her life so that she can take her mind off everything that’s happening around her and stop discussing the latest fashion trends and her boss’s new haircut with her friends.

If she still hasn’t noticed you in the huge information flow around her, most likely you should stop trying to attract attention with messages and calls.

Reasons for sudden behavior change

It is quite difficult to find out the reason for the sudden climate change when communicating with a lady. In reality, anything could happen, but let's try to make a guess based on the most common problems.

Personal experiences

An unforeseen event could have occurred in the girl’s life that unsettled her. Or maybe the mood began to deteriorate a long time ago, the problem grew like a snowball and at one point exploded. So, this may be due to the following reasons:

• Someone close to you became seriously ill or died. Maybe something else happened related to relatives.
• The girl liked another guy. Now she is thinking about who to choose or is looking for a reason to take a time out in the relationship.
• It is possible that the girl is simply sick and does not want to communicate. As in the song of the Kino group: “Everything is wrong and everything is wrong when your girlfriend is sick.” Thoughtfulness may indicate that she has learned about a serious diagnosis.
• A woman is thinking about work or a hobby, thinking through some project that is important for self-realization.
• Preoccupation with serious plans. For example, anxiety before an interview.

It's about you

It’s probably not obvious to you, but you could have done something wrong. The rose-colored glasses fell from the lady’s eyes, and she saw you in all your “glory” with a bunch of flaws and terrible behavior. The girl suddenly stopped communicating and is probably hiding her anger. Let's look at the most obvious reasons for resentment:

• The guy was simply tired or disappointed with his actions.
• Have you been hiding something for an hour? She could have learned something secret and very unpleasant from you. Now all her thoughts are busy whether to accept it or not.
• Perhaps the lady found out that you cheated on her with someone else or seriously deceived her. The guy may not even know how she found out - and there was no point in installing facial recognition as protection on the phone!
• The root of the problem lies in the guy's behavior.
  Maybe you hit, insulted, or otherwise offended someone on a date? This also includes being drunk.
• The man's assertiveness could also be taken to heart. Moreover, intentions may be misunderstood.
• You unknowingly offended the girl: a dirty compliment, unintentional humiliation, etc.

Someone else is to blame

The girl has her own friends and parents who like to give unnecessary advice.
For example, mom and dad said something bad about a guy. They hinted that the daughter should not date such an unworthy partner. It is likely that for this reason she will quarrel with her parents and think about your relationship. “Caring” friends do this too. They do a disservice. It’s good if you don’t fight off your boyfriend later. It would be good to carefully ask why the girl stopped communicating as before.

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You are too aggressive5

Aggression in this case refers to a person’s lack of understanding of the concept of social cues. This mostly applies to women, because women tend to perceive and read the emotions of their interlocutor more easily than men. That is, when a girl answers with one word, this is most likely a sign that she does not feel comfortable and interested in talking with you.

If you obviously haven't got the girl hooked, but you're still constantly blowing up her phone every hour of the hour, sending your monologue in five separate text messages at the same time along with a bunch of inappropriate emojis, you're wrong, no wonder the girl stopped responding.

Instead of coming across as a calm, collected, confident person, you look like a twelve-year-old girl who wants attention every second.

The girl does not take the initiative, does not write or call first, reasons

Common situation: she doesn't text first. The reason may be either a banal reluctance to further communication or a fear of seeming intrusive.

Cases when a young lady stops communicating:

1. Little time for correspondence on the Internet. In addition to the account, there is real life, where she needs to mind her own business: go to school, work, spend time with family and friends.
2. Stereotypical thinking about rules of behavior. Perhaps the person thinks that the man should write himself, looking for topics for conversation.
3. An attempt to attract attention. By ignoring messages and phone calls, a representative of the fair sex wants to cause concern in a man and interest in her person.
4. The desire to stop correspondence if the guy is excessively intrusive. A woman may be frightened by the gentleman’s strong persistence and his desire to communicate more often.

Who are we? - Excuses!

For my favorite critics, I’ll immediately make a reservation - these are not “excuses”. For some reason, guys always forget that girls live by emotions. And the experiences in their head VERY strongly influence their behavior. You could even say that they completely determine how a girl will behave.

There are attitudes driven into your head (like yours - “a man doesn’t cry”), which sometimes even cause harm, but the algorithm of behavior and reaction has already been so firmly developed that it will not be possible to change it.

Moreover, such behavior is possible not only at the initial stages of communication. When you have sex and a relationship, she may also not bother texting you first, for example, in the morning.