Fear of childbirth: TOP best tips on how to cope with it

Despite the fact that childbirth is a natural process, many women experience great fear of it. And one can understand such fears, because even now, in the era of modern medicine, maternal mortality has not yet been completely eradicated, even in developed countries. And there are many more cases of complications without death, but with serious consequences in the form of ruptures, bleeding, etc. However, it is quite possible and necessary to resist such perceptions. You will learn how to overcome the fear of childbirth in this article.

Where does fear of childbirth come from?

To effectively combat this psychological phenomenon, you need to know its causes. So, the main reasons for fear of childbirth are:

• The unknown.
  The first pregnancy and childbirth is a radically new condition that every woman experiences. Without proper information preparation, she may become confused and panic.
• Pain.
  Due to the anatomical features of the female body in general and the reproductive system in particular, childbirth is painful. Pain is a natural companion to this process and is the norm, but even awareness of this does not guarantee that a woman will not be afraid of it.
• Possible complications.
  Unfortunately, during pregnancy and childbirth, many women experience various anomalies and pathologies, including death. Modern medicine, although it has effective means to reduce such risks, cannot eliminate them completely.
• Loss of beauty.
  An important factor contributing to the formation of fear of childbirth is the fear of losing attractiveness and sexuality. Indeed, in some cases, hormonal imbalances and intense physical activity during childbirth can damage your appearance.

To one degree or another, these reasons worry every woman, especially if she is experiencing childbirth for the first time. This is a natural phenomenon, since, unlike animals, a person perceives this process not only instinctively, but also at the level of consciousness, which is susceptible to external information, reflection and other factors.

Healthcare of Mogilev

A state of anxiety and mental stress is undesirable for a woman expecting a child. Such an emotional background has a negative impact on physical health: immunity decreases, various diseases can “catch on” or chronic ones can worsen; worries take a lot of energy, so there will be less of it left for childbirth; a baby who perfectly senses the mother’s anxious state may be born nervous and noisy. Moreover, a high level of anxiety can lead to increased uterine tone and miscarriage.

What are pregnant women afraid of?

The most important fear that torments expectant mothers is the fear of losing a child. This is especially true for those women whose previous pregnancy ended in miscarriage or death of the child during childbirth. For some of them, fear can reach such a point that they lose sleep, constantly listening to what is happening to them. You can calm yourself down only by abstracting from the flow of negativity that hits us from everywhere. If someone had something bad, then the same fate will not necessarily befall you, even if you belong to a risk group. If the previous pregnancy ended sadly, this does not mean at all that this one will end the same way.

Fear of deviations in child development. We have the media and the ubiquitous girlfriends to thank for this fear. Someone once joked that pregnant women should be given a free set of earplugs. In fact, there is always an informed friend/neighbor/relative in their circle, stuffed with all sorts of horror stories about pregnant women and ready to spread them to the expectant mother from morning to night. These are endless stories with the force of “But one drank/smoked/danced and gave birth to a sick child,” which greatly gets on the nerves of the expectant mother. The only way to get rid of annoying storytellers is to explain to them that it is unpleasant for you to listen to these stories, turn around and leave. Fear of childbirth. Even women giving birth to their second or third child are susceptible to fear of childbirth. This fear is natural, because childbirth is a difficult ordeal for a woman and for a newborn baby. Because childbirth, by and large, is a lottery; it is unknown how it will end. The fear of labor pain is also natural; a person with a normal psyche strives to avoid pain; only masochists are not afraid of it. You should approach childbirth from the perspective of “no birth lasts forever.” With the modern development of medicine, doctors have many opportunities to alleviate a woman’s labor pain; this help should not be rejected. You also need to think about the fact that you share the hardships of childbirth with your child, who experiences a lot of stress during contractions and pushing, who literally has to go through a difficult path to the light of God, and your task is to make it easier for him to pass this path. Fear of becoming unattractive to your spouse. Some women are very worried about the changes happening to their body: the belly grows, extra pounds appear, the face becomes blurred, the gait changes, pigment spots may appear on the face. And now it’s not an elegant girl with a flying gait who moves around the apartment, but a clumsy “barrel”. However, as life shows, the vast majority of men perceive these changes quite adequately, and many men, on the contrary, find pregnant women attractive. Husbands understand perfectly well that their spouse has changed because she is carrying a child, this usually makes them more careful towards her. As it turns out, many expectant mothers are tormented by the fear of being unprepared for motherhood, that is, simply put, of being a bad mother, “I can’t do anything! I don’t even know how to approach the child!” - If they don’t complain, then such women think about themselves. To get rid of such thoughts, you should devote your free time on vacation before giving birth to reading literature on child care, perhaps enrolling in courses for young mothers, where they will teach you how to swaddle, change diapers, and talk about the basics of child care. And, of course, do not neglect the help of grandmothers and experienced friends. Of course, it is not easy to get rid of fears. The character of the woman, the situation in the family, and the attitude of those close to her pregnancy play a big role in the development of fears. The first pregnancy is not a reason for fear, you have to think about it: motherhood is the highest happiness for a woman and the realization of her mission on earth. One should be afraid of just the opposite - unfulfilled motherhood. And everything that needs to be done with the child, the woman’s instincts will tell her.

Healthcare Institution "Mogilev Polyclinic No. 5" Obstetrician-gynecologist Sopina O.V.

Unfounded fears

A woman does not always plan a pregnancy while leading her usual lifestyle. And when she learns about an accidental pregnancy, she begins with horror to count the number of glasses of wine she drank, the cigarettes she smoked, and what she ate unhealthy during the period of conception. Of course, the correctness of the recommendations indicating the need for timely pregnancy planning sounds reasonable. But if everything has already happened, the decision has been made to give birth, then it is important to clearly understand that the wisest thing is to bring your psychological state into harmony and create favorable conditions for the development of the fetus.

Fear of miscarriage is an understandable worry. To identify the problem as early as possible, get tested every other day. The best argument for well-being in this matter is indicators and numbers.

How to deal with psychological infertility?

How to deal with psychological infertility in women and men is a question that interests a couple facing childlessness. There is only one answer - only qualified help from a psychologist (psychotherapist or psychiatrist) will help overcome subconscious “blocks”, normalize the psycho-emotional state and create optimal conditions for internal harmony for the conception and birth of a child.

How to cure psychological infertility? The basis of treatment is psychotherapy. In mild cases it lasts several months, and in severe cases it lasts up to a year or even more. The pace of perception of new psychological attitudes is different for each person. Therefore, the psychologist focuses on objective data that allows one to assess how successful psychotherapy is and how much it allows one to achieve a deep and real result. If intermediate points are not reached, the specialist returns again and works through a new perception.

In the process of psychotherapy, several tasks are solved:

• awareness of the problem;
• recognizing that this is happening to you;
• determination by a specialist of options for exiting the current situation;
• starting to move in a new direction with new attitudes.

The best results come from individual work between a specialist and a couple. Of the group sessions, the most effective are psychotherapeutic groups in which all participants have a similar problem. Participants exchange experiences, achieved results and thereby help overcome fears. Individual work with a couple + visiting psychotherapeutic groups will bring the desired effect.

It is also important for the couple to carry out independent work, which consists of the following stages:

1. Sex should not be perceived as only a way to conceive a child. This is a process that brings pleasure and helps you relax. There is no need to calculate fertile days, the main thing is to live with love, experiment and perceive your partner correctly (do not look for flaws in him, but focus on the best aspects).
2. Don't forget to relax and give each other pleasant moments. Romantic dinner, going to a restaurant together, traveling, picnics in nature, etc. will help you relax, gain confidence in your partner and thereby move on to the next stage of your relationship, in which children should naturally appear, because you are ready for this.
3. Talk to your partner. You should not have secrets and understatements. If something doesn’t suit you in everyday life, talk about it; if sex doesn’t bring you pleasure, talk about it and argue, offering solutions; if you want to change the situation and are tired, talk about it too.
4. Draw yourself a portrait of your future child. But focus not only on pleasant moments. You must understand that the child cries, wants to eat, requires attention, etc. This way you will prepare yourself mentally and will perceive the situation adequately.
5. Prepare for childbirth. Childbirth is a physiological process that is accompanied by some pain. But that's absolutely normal. In addition, modern obstetrics actively uses pain management methods. Therefore, you should not be afraid of childbirth, and such fears can also come from childhood, for example, mother’s stories. Discuss with your partner the possibility of having a joint birth if this option is acceptable and desirable to you.

A favorable psychological climate in the family will help you quickly find the joy of motherhood and fatherhood.

In difficult cases, in addition to the help of a qualified psychologist, hypnotherapy and even pharmacological therapy can be used. However, you can avoid the problem and contact a specialist in time.

CONTRACEPTION FOR BEGINNERS, OR HOW NOT TO BECOME A YOUNG MOTHER

for mothers of teenage girls

There are several dozen different ways in the world to help a girl or woman not get pregnant during sex. Some of them are reliable, others not so much, but practically none of the contraceptive methods provides a 100% guarantee of protection against pregnancy. To prevent an unwanted pregnancy, you need to know well which method of contraception is right for you. By following the link under the picture you will find answers to the following questions: In what cases can a girl become pregnant? What is the best contraceptive method? How do I know which method is right for me? What are the pros and cons of condoms, Pharmatex, birth control pills, hormonal patches, vaginal rings? What to do if unprotected sex has already taken place?

What is contraception?

There are several dozen different ways in the world to help a girl or woman not get pregnant during sex. Some of them are reliable, others not so much. All these ways to prevent unwanted pregnancy are united by one word: contraception.

What is unprotected sex?

Unprotected sex is sexual intercourse during which neither partner uses contraception. You can become pregnant as a result of unprotected sex.

In what cases can a girl become pregnant?

A girl can become pregnant only as a result of unprotected sexual intercourse, during which the guy's genital organ (penis) touches the girl's genitals. Pregnancy is possible if the guy's sperm gets into the girl's vagina.

Remember:

• A girl can become pregnant during sex on any day of the menstrual cycle, and even during her period. There are no 100% safe days when a girl cannot get pregnant.
• A girl can get pregnant during unprotected sex, even if the guy doesn't cum inside her.
• A girl can become pregnant even during her first sex.

What is the best contraceptive method?

As sad as it may sound, the best way to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, which works in 100% of cases, is to refuse sex, or abstinence.

All other methods of contraception (except for genital surgery) do not provide a 100% guarantee that you will not become pregnant. But, in fact, not everything is so bad: some protection measures, when used correctly, will help you not get pregnant in 99% of cases.

How can you protect yourself from pregnancy?

First of all, you need to choose exactly the method that suits you. So, there are 2 main methods of contraception:

• Barrier methods create a barrier through which the guy's sperm cannot enter the girl's uterus.
• Hormonal methods change the functioning of the girl’s genital organs, preventing pregnancy from occurring.

How do you know which method is suitable in a particular case?

There is no universal method of contraception that would suit all girls. Each method has its pros and cons. Knowing about them, you can choose a method of protection against pregnancy that is right for you. In the table below you can read about the most common methods of contraception.

How to overcome fears and be prepared for pregnancy?

When we talk about the psychology of pregnancy, we mean that a child gives birth to its parents.

Pregnancy and the subsequent birth of a child changes the usual way of life. At this time, the spouses understand that it will not be the same as before. The expectant mother will have to get used to the changes and rethink her role in the family.

Pregnancy is a crisis for a woman. Those emotions that she does not experience in everyday life appear during pregnancy.

Psychological preparation for pregnancy takes from six months to a year. You have to live with the thought of a child and get used to it. The woman gradually gets used to the role of a future mother, and her husband to the role of a future father. For example, thinking about her husband, she can change her attitude towards him. This can manifest itself in different ways. A woman may experience increased attention to her husband, or she will try to overcome her weaknesses. It is worth noting right away that there is no definite answer on how to prepare for pregnancy, everything is too individual, and sometimes requires dialogue with a specialist.

An important task of the family as a system is to define boundaries that leave personal space for each family member.

This space is necessary to satisfy personal psychological needs, without the interference of family members and relatives. An adequate understanding of such boundaries is an important aspect of family life.

Preparation for pregnancy from a psychological point of view is impossible without a motivational component. In the absence of positive motivation, the thought of a future child becomes painful. This often happens when a woman’s child becomes a means to achieve other goals, or there is no motivation at all. This situation can lead to depression associated with conflicting needs.

CHECK LIST - EXERCISES FOR PREGNANT WOMEN

RULES AND TRAININGS FOR EACH TRIMESTER

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Exercising allows the body to better adapt to the increasing load associated with fetal growth, changes in the body, and a shift in the center of gravity.

What if fear started to appear?

At first, the girl is afraid of an unplanned pregnancy. When you get married and want to have a child, you may be afraid that pregnancy will not occur for a long time. At the same time, on the horizon there is pain during childbirth, fears that the husband smokes and this will have a bad effect on the child, and the great-grandmother had “bad” genes in her family. What to do if such thoughts enter your head?

Talk to a specialist or a loved one you trust.

The reason that caused the fear may be significant, or it may not be worth a damn. But problems and fears are two different things. If the problem is formulated as a task, that’s already half the battle. A problem, even the most difficult one, can always be solved.

Sometimes a woman just needs attention to her thoughts.

Sometimes it’s even a problem; a woman needs to understand that she is not alone, that a loved one is ready to seriously discuss what really worries her. You shouldn’t be afraid of such conversations; it’s much worse to cultivate fears in your head.

“Communicate” with your fear.

You can try this training - answer 3 questions:

• What does childbirth mean to you? How do you imagine them? (3-5 words) For example: work on yourself, work, pride... etc.
• How do you not want your birth to look? (Here you can identify all your fears). For example: “I don’t want my husband to see me during childbirth,” “I don’t want labor to start prematurely,” “I don’t want my great-grandmother’s “bad” genes to show up in my child.”

The third question arises:

• What are you doing to prevent this from happening?

In this simple way, we transform fears into useful actions. In addition, there are reasons that we cannot influence. Are you really ready to give up your family because the child may display the “bad” genes of his great-grandmother?

CHECK LIST - DOWER FOR THE FUTURE MOTHER AND BABY

We will send a checklist in PDF format to your email.

I want a checklist

It is better to start preparing your dowry in advance, or at least make a thoughtful list of everything you need. You can use the checklist that we will send you by email.

To avoid psychological problems during pregnancy

If a couple is seriously preparing to conceive a child in order to avoid psychological problems, it is advisable for the woman herself, or together with her husband, to visit a perinatal psychologist at least once - talk, tell, share their opinions, emotions, motives about the upcoming pregnancy. It is best to do this 9 months before the pregnancy itself occurs.

During preparation, the perinatal psychologist provides psychological assistance to the couple, or the woman herself. Asking questions will help you understand whether the couple is ready for the birth of a child. If not, he will tell you how to get there. For example, a psychologist will ask how long the couple has been together (in professional language - marital holon).

The fact is that the first stage of a relationship, popularly known as the “candy-bouquet period,” should be distinguished from the second, when the couple decides to live together and register their relationship.
At this moment the grinding begins. When a man and a woman met, there were some emotions, when they began to live together, they were different. From a psychological point of view, at the beginning of the Hollon it is better not to rush with the child. Each spouse has his own family model, and these models are different. To prevent the child from being “between two fires,” parents need to develop a unified idea of ​​\u200b\u200bthe family. If there are problems in this area, it is better to solve them in advance. Information provided by: Pulnaya Larisa Ivanovna (Midwife, Perinatal psychologist)

Natural doubts

Are you afraid of natural childbirth, or afraid of surgical intervention? Remember that most panic plans (not related to pregnancy) are realized completely differently than your imagination, so fantasizing and winding yourself up is not the best idea. Even if the child is born by caesarean section, this sometimes happens. The main thing is that the birth is safe for the child and mother. To give confidence in this matter, it is useful to attend childbirth preparation groups together with your husband.

The fear of not being able to cope with a new role is familiar to everyone who has “got through” pregnancy. Long before the birth of a child, a woman begins to “try on” maternal care. And a common misconception here is to make demands on yourself based on the image of your own mother. After all, you are unique, you have your own ideas about care and education, dreams and dreams. Anxiety is unproductive, it takes away strength and depresses energy. Instead, read a book about baby development. When he is born, there will be much less time for reading.

In preparing for childbirth, it is important not only to follow the doctor’s recommendations, but also to overcome fears. Psychologists believe that awareness of the causes of fears and knowledge help to cope with problems, especially for women - “courageous” creatures, thinking and resilient.

Why can't I get pregnant the first time?

To begin with, it is worth understanding that conception is the attachment of a fertilized egg to the walls of the uterus. For this to happen, several events must coincide. An egg ready for fertilization must be released from the ovary into the uterus. The sperm must reach the egg through the genital tract and penetrate it (and not every sperm is capable of this either). And then the egg must attach to the wall of the uterus. Moreover, this should happen in a very short time, since the lifespan of both the egg and the sperm is limited to several days. It is worth remembering that not one or even two sperm take part in the “marathon”, but much, much more. However, they have to cover a huge distance (as if a person had to walk from Moscow to Voronezh). It is clear that only a few will be able to reach the target. This is why it is not always possible to get pregnant the first time. Most couples are able to conceive within 1 year of sexual activity without contraception. And this is considered the norm.