How to stop being afraid of a fight, overcome fear and be brave, psychological preparation, fear of conflicts, how to get rid of fear

It is completely natural to feel apprehensive before a fight. The instinct of self-preservation forces us to avoid situations that can harm our health. Well-mannered people usually try to resolve certain conflicts verbally, in a more or less peaceful way, but sometimes it still comes to violence.

Whether a person wants it or not, he has to respond to the enemy in kind, so it is important that the fear of a fight does not turn into an uncontrollable phobia that does not allow a person to defend himself.

Reasons for fear of fighting

In case of the slightest threat, the instinct of self-preservation kicks in. The body begins to release adrenaline, brain activity becomes dull. In such a state, a person must quickly make one of two decisions - to flee or to repel the blow. When he hesitates, a person is enveloped in a panic attack, and in such a state it is not easy to escape or defeat the enemy.

You shouldn’t be ashamed of your own fear; you need to learn to get the better of it and get rid of it. You need to admit to yourself that the fear of a fight is present and start working on it. But first, it is important to understand the reason why you become scared before a fight. Only then will it be possible to answer the question of how not to be afraid of a fight.

Fear of hitting a person

There is no such person who would not be afraid of pain. But often a person is afraid not only to experience pain on himself, but also to inflict it on another, even an aggressive opponent.

Psychology identifies real phobias, because of which a person will never be able to cross the line and respond with force to force. For example, hemophobia is a fear of blood, in which the skin turns pale, a person begins to tremble and may lose consciousness.

Algophobia is also classified as fear of experiencing pain. Algophobia occurs if a person has previously experienced severe pain. Algophobia in most cases stems from childhood, when a person was seriously injured or faced physical abuse at a young age.

Fear of pain

Often the fear of experiencing pain comes from childhood. As a rule, memories are associated with physical violence that was once experienced.

We are talking not only about those who faced the use of force for misconduct in the family, but also about those who, as teenagers, got into fights with peers and were beaten.

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Fear of conflicts

There is no such person who would not find himself in a conflict situation. Often the conflict that begins escalates into assault. Of course, this situation does not happen to those who believe that any dispute can be resolved through dialogue. But unfortunately, in the absence of arguments, for some, the use of force becomes the only option.

It is especially difficult to find a compromise in adolescence and resolve conflicts with children raised by the “street”.

What to do if a child cannot resist in a quarrel?

Parents are often upset by the fact that the child seems to know all the ways to resolve conflicts, but in a critical situation he gets lost and cannot fight back against the offenders.

There may be several reasons for this:

Psychologically dysfunctional family environment

If dad often insults and humiliates family members, and they, in turn, cannot defend themselves in any way, the child’s position of victim is reinforced. And in any cases of aggression from other people, he falls into a stupor and cannot stand up for himself.

Or a strong-willed and self-sufficient mother does not give the child the opportunity to resolve a conflict situation on his own, preferring out of habit to take everything upon himself and show the offenders of his son or daughter “where the crayfish spend the winter.”

In both cases, children live for years with the attitude “I’m weak, I can’t protect myself.”

Characteristics of the child

It is more difficult for closed, vulnerable and shy children to resist in conflict situations.

Parental behavior

The child sees that parents sometimes cannot defend their own rights. For example, if the neighbors behind the wall listen to music loudly at night, mom and dad prefer not to pay attention to it, instead of talking to them or calling the police.

Incorrect parental settings

From childhood, a child is taught that “it’s not good to be greedy, you need to share with everyone” or “only bad boys and girls fight.”

As a result, when a child is faced with an attack on his property or physical aggression from peers, he is subconsciously afraid of being judged by his parents and does not take any action.

We figured out the reasons. Now let's talk about what actions parents should take to help their child become more confident in their abilities.

How to help a child?

First of all, the child should feel that you are on his side and will always come to his aid. Do not scold or shout at him, this will lead to the opposite result - the child will feel even weaker and helpless.
Explain to your son or daughter that his interests are no less important than the interests of other children, and sometimes you need to be able to protect them.
If the child is still small and is not able to repel the attacks of other children, parents need to resolve the conflict situation themselves on the playground or on a walk. Then gradually give the child more independence in this matter, observing how events develop, and being ready to always come to the child’s aid.
Together with your child, develop an algorithm for dealing with conflict:
in case of physical aggression from the enemy, the following phrase will help: “It hurts me. If you don’t stop doing this, I won’t communicate with you anymore and I’ll tell the adults everything”;
if the offender continues the attack, you should stop him yourself or with the help of a teacher, teacher, or any adult nearby.

These situations can be reinforced in a game or conversation on the topic “What will you do if...” (they call you names, you are attacked by hooligans, etc.).

Do you need to overcome fear?

Fear must and can be overcome. It is impossible to live with panic attacks all your life - it negatively affects your health.

A person who feels panic before a fight and understands that his strength is zero should take measures to avoid being beaten. A good solution would be to try to start a dialogue with your opponent. Often, it is a well-structured dialogue that helps to avoid a fight, of course, if the opponent is able to resolve the issue without fists. To do this, it is worth giving arguments that will help resolve the conflict situation.

Helpful advice! If you live permanently or if you need to travel to a disadvantaged area, purchasing a permitted weapon will be effective. So, if you show a gun to a bully, he will certainly get scared and try to run away. However, it is better to do without weapons, since using them can have negative consequences.

Way out of the conflict

To prevent a conflict situation from leading to negative consequences, it is very important to choose a constructive approach to resolving it. The most acceptable ways to resolve conflict are cooperation and compromise.

Compromise involves some concessions on both sides in order to resolve a controversial issue. Cooperation is a discussion with an opponent of various ways to resolve the situation.

It is very important to show your respect for opposing opinions and to be able to listen to all the arguments. It is worth considering together which actions are most acceptable, and also choosing the most suitable option.

Ways to deal with the fear of fighting

So, if a fight cannot be prevented, it must be led. To do this, you need to prepare yourself for battle both physically and mentally.

Physical training

Having accepted his fear, a person must learn to fight it. If this is a fear of pain, then the best solution would be to develop your own physical strength.

There are three ways:

exercise;
learn self-defense techniques;
sign up for a martial arts class.

It is worth choosing a section where, first of all, attention is paid to striking techniques and where experienced mentors can not only teach wrestling skills, but also teach how to stop being afraid to fight. Good options are boxing, MMA, Muay Thai or hand-to-hand combat. Of course, during training the athlete will receive a lot of blows, it will be painful and difficult, but this will be the first step towards overcoming fear. Even a girl can go to such sections.

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For a person who has never been involved in combat sports, boxing is best suited for self-defense. This sport is very effective and easier than others to master at any age. In boxing, competing in the ring with an opponent will help you develop physically and practice punching tactics.

Daily training will allow you to get used to blows, not be afraid of pain, blood, and show you how not to be afraid to fight. Regular sparring will become commonplace, which means that a street fight will not cause fear. In addition, if you have physical training, a person will feel more confident in any conflict.

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Psychological preparation

Even the most experienced fighter who experiences a feeling of fear before the start of a fight will most likely suffer defeat in the ring. If a person is not confident in himself, he may consider himself defeated even before the fight begins. With self-confidence, even someone who does not know martial arts can defeat an opponent. True, you won’t be able to do without bruises and abrasions, but you will be able to maintain your self-esteem.

Psychological preparation plays a special role. It is important to remember only one thing - the one who is strong psychologically, and not physically, wins.

To stop feeling afraid of fighting, you should do the following:

Study the process of relaxation and learn meditation. These methods help relieve anxiety and stress. Meditation will not only help you get rid of the fear of fighting, but will also help you concentrate.
Learn breathing exercises. It is proper breathing that helps a person calm down and relieve stress when the moment comes to fight.
Sign up for personal development trainings that will teach you how to overcome your fear of fighting. Regular exercise will help you feel confident in your abilities and increase your self-esteem.
Make an appointment with a psychologist. A personal psychologist will help you understand the root of the problem and find a solution. A psychological session will help you accept your fear and overcome it.

There is another technique in psychology that will help you tune in to the upcoming battle and drive away fear. This method obliges a person to choose the image of an animal, a tiger, a bear or another. Next, you should discard logic and immerse yourself in the image and demonstrate the qualities inherent in this beast.

This method requires some skill. So, you need to set yourself up correctly and come up with a signal that will facilitate the transition to the desired spirit, namely:

growl;
shout;
warrior rose.

Important! This method is often used by professional fighters before a fight to get in the mood for sparring and overcome panic.

How to get out of any conflict to your advantage

It’s good when there are people who can fight for justice if necessary, but if you don’t get into an argument, you can save a lot of energy.

One day I lost my temper when I received a letter reminding me to pay a fine of 50 CZK, although I knew for sure that I had paid all my bills on time

Since then I stopped paying attention to unpleasant little things

At least two people are involved in the dispute. And only one of them must stop it. It is quite possible that I may make a mistake somewhere in the text, but when a conflict arises, I immediately give in.

You can benefit from any disagreement by expressing your opinion about what is happening. Here are some examples:

I don't agree with you, but I won't argue.
I don't like your calculation method, but I didn't object and just transferred the money.
In my opinion, you are ignoring our agreements, but I will not waste my energy arguing, so I will let you go in peace.

Walking away from an argument does not mean appearing like a coward.

This is a smart move that demonstrates your foresight. After all, there is a lot in life that is really worth thinking about and worrying about.

With this approach, we will never encounter any injustice or bad behavior. The main thing is that there is a person who can stop the emerging conflict in time.

Tips before the inevitable fight

There are situations when a properly structured dialogue does not give the desired result. Or the person doesn’t have time to say a word at all, and the opponent is already rushing at him with fists. In this case, no matter how much you would like, it is impossible to avoid a fight. Therefore, it is worth learning to repel and fight back an aggressive opponent.

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These tips will help you before the inevitable fight:

No matter how much fear envelops you, it is absolutely forbidden to show it to your opponent . If your opponent feels insecure, it will give him more strength. You need to learn to hide your own emotions. Seeing a worthy opponent in front of him, the opponent may become frightened himself, and then the fight may not take place at all.
It is worth considering not only your own state, but also the mood of the enemy. It is likely that he himself is anxious and afraid of feeling physical pain. Given his behavior, the person himself will be able to decide to ignore the attacks or to strike first. By the way, professional fighters claim that the one who strikes first has a greater chance of winning.
Apply smart image tactics . Aggressive gestures and a belligerent posture can frighten an opponent, and he himself will hasten to run away, because even the bravest opponent does not want to be beaten.
It is necessary to soberly assess the situation and your own strengths. To do this, it is worth assessing the chance of victory and, if it is minimal, thinking about a way to retreat. Ending up in the hospital with serious injuries is not the best decision, and therefore if your opponent is superior to you in all respects, it may be worth running away.
A good solution would be to purchase any of the self-defense means available to citizens and learn how to use it. You should not purchase a knife for safety, since using it risks killing a person and incurring criminal liability.

Conflicts expose feelings

Family psychologists know that quarrels, even frequent and hurtful ones, are not always an indicator that the couple will break up. Of course, they cannot be ignored, and actively conflicting spouses need help. But the real “sentence” for a relationship is when one or both partners refuse to communicate. For example, when one emotionally states: “We need to talk seriously!” - and the second one slips away (“Oh, let’s not today!” or oh).

Conflict (of course, it’s not about violence, but about conversation) is better than avoiding communication: confrontation shows that the partners still have strong feelings towards each other, that they care about the relationship

It is only important to learn how to competently deal with each other’s feelings: talk about your dissatisfaction and discomfort without becoming personal, without generalizing the situation and without drawing conclusions about the relationship as a whole (“And you always!..”) and without hurting the feelings of the other person. If quarrels begin to recur frequently and the couple feels like they are going in circles, they could probably use the help of a family therapist

With its help, partners learn to be sincere without hurting each other, and over time they learn to resolve conflict situations without scandals, collaborating and yielding to each other.

There is another argument in favor of family therapy. Unfortunately, scandals often serve as a way to avoid discussing that very first and most painful conflict situation. That is, paradoxically, a scandal helps to avoid real conflict. The partners quickly descend into shouting, get personal, remember long-standing and no longer relevant grievances, splash out emotions and disperse to different rooms. Then the peak of the quarrel is replaced by repentance, assurances of love and hugs - but the question of how to spend free time or how to spend and save money, from which it all began, remains unresolved and even undiscussed.

How to resolve conflict: Should we be afraid of disputes?

For many people, conflicts have negative associations. Aggressive behavior, screaming and mutual accusations are the first things that come to mind. A person makes concessions just to avoid an unpleasant conversation. But not every conflict takes place at the peak of emotions. In certain situations, he can become an assistant. How to resolve a conflict and should you be afraid of disputes?

Causes of conflicts

Conflict occurs when there is a contradiction. In any relationship - business or family - there is a distribution of roles and responsibilities. Initially, this may happen behind the scenes, without clear agreements and defined frameworks. Even the presence of contracts and job descriptions does not always save. In the future, each side tries to defend its interests. If the conflict is not discussed, the relationship becomes a burden.

Most often, disputes are based on the following reasons:

different goals;
disagreement in the distribution of resources and responsibilities;
mismatch of temperaments and other personal characteristics.

The first two factors are objective. They have a higher chance of quickly resolving the conflict. But people with different temperaments rarely find a common language. In such cases, it is better to minimize interaction.

What are the benefits of conflicts?

The partners' points of view may not coincide. But joint ideas often take into account all the nuances better and more extensively. An opponent in a dispute can point out shortcomings, thereby helping to find a more beneficial solution.

Conflict reveals weaknesses in a relationship. It forces you to reconsider your views and expand your perception. It is impossible to discuss everything at the initial stage. Thanks to situations where interests collide, people get to know each other better. It brings us closer together.

Many people use conflict as a way to get rid of negative emotions. To avoid tension, partners violently and emotionally demonstrate their dissatisfaction. In such relationships, accumulated grievances and sudden breaks rarely arise.

Disadvantages of Conflict

Conflicts waste mental strength. During an argument, emotions often get out of control and leave an unpleasant aftertaste. Instead of constructive dialogue, a person receives an emotional shock.

The conflict can turn into open confrontation. This outcome spoils relationships, breaks business ties and forces you to quit your job.

Each conflict situation takes a lot of time. If the frequency of disputes exceeds any possible limits, then it is unlikely that any of the opponents needs consensus. Most likely, they just like to conflict.

Ways to get out of conflict

There are several ways to resolve the conflict:

Care.
Compromise.
Compulsion.
Cooperation.
Confrontation.

Walking away is usually used to delay an argument. This tactic is typical for those who do not want to solve the problem or are afraid of conflicts. Sometimes, avoidance provides an opportunity to think again, reconsider some aspects, or simply calm down. In the business sphere, leaving is appropriate when the problem is not of great importance and partners do not need to waste time resolving it.

A compromise is a partial satisfaction of the initial requests. The partners make concessions, and the problem is resolved.

Coercion is usually used in emergency situations or in communication between people of different statuses. The initiator of the conflict neutralizes the partner’s opinion and suppresses it. This is how an authoritarian boss or an unrestrained parent behaves. This relationship can hardly be called healthy.

Cooperation is a way to resolve a controversial situation in which both parties are satisfied. This is the most difficult, but optimal option.

Confrontation is considered a negative way out of conflict. Since neither partner is willing to give in, the problem is resolved by a third party.

Don't be afraid of conflicts

In order not to be afraid of conflicts, you need to be able to defend your own interests and respect others. Any controversial situation is an opportunity for development. Even if the conflict ends in a complete break in relations, it means that it’s time to develop in a different direction.

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conclusions

Many people want to overcome the fear of fighting. And ask them - why? “Defend yourself”, “defend your honor, your rights”, “defend someone”, “prove that I...” - the answer will be similar, that is, behind all this lies humiliated dignity and chronic self-doubt. So this is what we need to work with. All other fears associated with fighting are a normal reflexive reaction to danger. And the complete disappearance of the feeling of fear could have unpredictable consequences for humanity. The ability to diplomatically resolve conflict issues is a highly intellectual property, in contrast to courage, which is also inherent in animals.