September 08, 2022
After deep experiences, a person somehow wants to continue a “normal life” in some way. One of the main forms of defense against painful feelings experienced after a traumatic situation is dissociation. Dissociation manifests itself in different ways. For example, in the fact that a person gradually ceases to feel his feelings as his own, and becomes alienated from himself. An individual suffering from a dissociative disorder looks at himself as if from the outside, as if he were another person. Dissociation is often characterized by alienation from the surrounding reality, complete loss of conscious control over thoughts, memory, self-awareness, partial numbness of the body, an acute attack of panic, absolute indifference or a feeling of emptiness. The last symptom will be discussed in this article.
How to respond to feelings of emptiness?
The feeling of emptiness literally does not make it possible to live a full life, so if you have such a problem, you cannot hope that everything will work out on its own. On the contrary, you should recognize the presence of the symptom and begin to work (first of all) on your consciousness. It is recommended to establish a daily schedule, sleep patterns, and not overwork. Literature, music, films, sports, favorite hobbies are the best helpers when a feeling of emptiness arises, allowing you to escape from negative thoughts. Talk to your loved ones and friends, realize that you need to get rid of the problem, as it brings sadness and suffering. It is pointless to remain inactive, turning a blind eye to its presence. Try to cope on your own, using self-control and introspection, trying to be focused on what you like, what brings you pleasure. Live life to the fullest, enjoy the moment, be passionate, connect with others, use humor to relieve stress and maintain a cheerful outlook on life. If you succeed, then this is a big victory, giving you the opportunity to return to normal life. If, after trying to cope with the problem on your own, it still continues to haunt you, and you feel that you are unable to cope with it on your own, seek professional help from a competent psychologist. As part of the initial diagnosis, as a rule, a specialist may ask the following or similar questions:
- Are you using people for your own purposes, for your own benefit? If yes, how often and why?
- Are you risking your life? If yes, how often and in what way?
- Are you a loner?
- Is it difficult for you to get used to the new team?
- Do you lie to other people? If yes, how often?
- Do you do reckless things that are dangerous to society? If yes, how often and which ones?
- Do you feel guilty? If so, how often and why?
- Are you experiencing social pressure?
- Do you have problems sleeping?
- Do you have hallucinations?
I feel empty in my soul. I want miracles, life, emotions, but in fact the daily routine and boredom
What changes would you like to have in your life?
I often dream about traveling to different countries, about walking around the city at night, about possibly moving to another country, but every time these are just dreams. In my mind, I understand that traveling requires money, walking around the city at night alone is not very safe, but my husband doesn’t need it and isn’t interested, and I need to go to bed on time because I have to work tomorrow. But to move to another country, you need to make up your mind, you need to know another language, and for this you need to make a lot of effort and, again, you need to take into account the opinion of your relatives, because I can’t leave alone... So it turns out - I dreamed, stopped myself and let’s continue to live as usual in a routine. That is, I always want to do something extraordinary or something.
That is, usually this condition occurs in the background, but stress\overload and\or disappointment can intensify it and make it dominant in the inner world
Right to the point! Apparently this state really sits in me, and sometimes it manifests itself more strongly
Certain events in your childhood. What was it like?
My childhood. I am the only one in my mom and dad’s family. She grew up in a poor ordinary family. Mom and Dad worked hard and I always had what I wanted, despite my parents’ financial difficulties. They always tried to give me the best. Dad drank at times and got a little rowdy. Mom endured it all and now they are still together. At the same time, dad loves me very much and loves mom. Now he doesn’t drink as much anymore, he tries to hold on, but sometimes he still breaks down.
Mom - it seems to me that I always missed her warmth. I know that she loves me very much, but either she’s embarrassed to show it, or I don’t know... She was always very strict in my childhood. It was as if he and dad were the good and evil policeman.
I always studied well, without putting much effort into it. My parents did not control my studies and did not help much, only if I asked for help, but this happened rarely. Now when I analyze my behavior, it seems to me that I try to do everything perfectly in order to deserve praise, but I don’t always achieve it and at these moments I feel very bad. At school I had girlfriends, when I got older and friends appeared. The boys liked me at school. In general, the teenage period was like everyone else's. We walked, tried cigarettes and alcohol. But at the same time, I always tried to control myself.
My husband and I have been together since the 9th grade, we sat at the same desk, studied in the same class, and it seems that I have known him all my life. After school, we entered different universities in different cities, and this was probably the main tragedy in my life. For 5 years we had a long-distance relationship, it was very difficult mentally, we visited each other as soon as possible. During this period, I developed a benign formation - could this have contributed to this, like psychosomatics? As a result, after graduating from university, I left for the city where my then boyfriend was studying, it was difficult to leave, because I was leaving my parents, as if abandoning them, but it seemed to me that my husband (then a boyfriend) was more important. A couple of years later we had a wedding. He is still the closest person to me and only to him can I open up, but still not completely
Causes of emptiness
The reasons for the feeling of emptiness can be due to various factors. The main reasons for this problem are presented below:
- genetic factor, biological causes, environmental factors;
- psychological trauma experienced in childhood or adulthood (emotional or sexual abuse, natural disaster, kidnapping, death of a loved one, etc.);
- negative life experiences (experienced a series of defeats or stress);
- authoritarian parenting style;
- family problems, domestic abuse;
- presence of bad habits (abuse of tobacco, alcohol);
- previous injuries related to the brain;
- low stress resistance;
- resentment.
What is the soul
When answering the question: “What to do if there is emptiness in the shower?” It’s worth understanding what the soul is. Religious, philosophical and mythological traditions characterize the feeling of emptiness from different perspectives.
Most often, the concept of soul includes an incorporeal entity that is located in a living being. From a psychological point of view, these are the mind, feelings, character, awareness of reality, human memory, perception and thinking. If one of the components is missing, then it is generally accepted that emptiness settles in life.
Philosophical systems may accept or deny the immortality of the soul . In Christianity and Judaism, the soul is believed to be immortal. Thomas Aquinas (Catholic theologian) said that the essence of man does not die. He also argued that only humanity had a soul (animals, according to his theory, did not have souls).
In other religions there is a teaching that all organisms have a soul . For example, confirmation of this can be found in Hinduism and Jainism. Some non-biological objects can also be alive - this is evidenced by animism. Therefore, all things can have spiritual emptiness.
Science views the soul as a construct denoting a specific substance . It is located in the human brain. Scientists still cannot prove or disprove the existence of a higher essence in man, the living and inanimate world.
According to biologist Cyril Barrett, soul denotes an idea that was invented and cultivated by humans themselves . They wanted to imagine that existence had a conscience. The expert referred to the fact that the highest essence is the complex organization of matter in the human brain. The soul has a biological explanation.
At the beginning of the last century, an experiment was conducted by Duncan McDougall. He measured the weight of patients during their lifetime and after leaving the world. The scientist believed that at the time of death the person was losing weight. The soul weighed 21 grams. Presumably the essence was located in the heart.
Symptoms of Feeling Empty
The feeling of emptiness due to dissociation is characterized by symptoms such as
- a feeling of unreality of what is happening;
- the existence in one person of two or more separate personalities or personality traits;
- comparing yourself to others;
- memory problems, forgetfulness, attention disorders;
- impaired skin sensitivity;
- self-doubt, complexes;
- seizures;
- ignorance of one's desires;
- suggestibility;
- feeling of loneliness;
- denial of the joys of life;
- apathy;
- guilt;
- dissatisfaction with oneself;
- indifference;
- disappointment.
All these symptoms sooner or later lead to depression, and depression in turn leads to the following psychosomatic diseases:
- problems with the gastrointestinal tract;
- problems with the cardiovascular system;
- problems sleeping (insomnia);
- neuroses;
- decreased immunity (a person becomes more vulnerable to viral diseases);
- imbalance, making decisions that can harm a person.
- panic attacks.
Job
If you feel nothing in your heart, then a professional field of activity will help fill the emptiness inside you. Yes, routine and everyday life, but it’s better than moping on the couch all alone. Perhaps the time has come to change your workplace. Have you ever thought about how much effort and time the business you do takes away from you? Perhaps it’s time to start doing something you truly love, which will also bring in a good profit? All areas of activity themselves have great flexibility. You can not only occupy yourself with what you love, but also make new acquaintances, achieve your goals, engage in self-development at work, and so on.
What to do about this, how to treat the feeling of emptiness?
The feeling of emptiness experienced on an ongoing basis can be treated using a number of clinical techniques. It is necessary to get rid of the manifestations of this problem together with a psychologist. Basic methods:
- Psychoanalytic psychotherapy. This effective method will help you find out the cause of your problem, understand its essence and, finally, get rid of it forever.
- Self-help (giving up bad habits, avoiding any stressful situations).
- Cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy (work with thinking).
- meditation, relaxation strategies that promote rapid restoration of strength, strive to reduce feelings of anxiety and tension.
- Drug therapy (treatment with drugs).
- Hypnosis (removing painful memories).
If something resonated with you while reading the text and it seems to you that the situation and symptoms described in the article are similar to your case, and you would like to solve this problem, you can call me first at + 7 (926) 169-36 -63 to talk about your problem that you want to solve.
The duration of the telephone consultation is 20 minutes (free of charge) , during which time I must decide whether I can help you within the framework of psychoanalytic counseling. If it’s easier for you to write a letter, you can do this by clicking on the link and sign up for a consultation. I ask you to describe your situation in as much detail as possible - the size of the letter is unlimited, I will definitely read your letter and respond.
I am always near.
How to overcome mental exhaustion
The most obvious and at the same time the most difficult decision is to take a break and rest. Put some things aside and delegate the rest, write a vacation application, get a good night’s sleep, change your surroundings at least for a couple of days. But this is not always possible. Therefore, psychologists recommend 4 Things to Do When Your Brain Is Tired a few more actions that can alleviate your condition a little.
“Turn off” some of your senses
Large sensory load: light, sound, conversations, tactile sensations - can be very exhausting. Try to exclude some irritants and spend at least a few minutes in silence and darkness. Buy blackout curtains for your room, turn off the TV when you're not watching it, don't leave music or the radio playing in the background, wear headphones when riding the subway.
This is not a radical solution to the problem, but this approach can at least slightly reduce overall fatigue and irritability.
Make fewer decisions
Put off life-changing decisions for at least a couple of weeks, try to reduce smaller ones: eat the same dish for lunch every day, order the same type of coffee, take the same route to work, prepare several sets of clothes in advance so that you can I didn't have to choose what to wear in the morning.
Having to make even such small decisions can be very draining, and taking a break will give you some strength.
Look at the plants
Researchers from the University of Melbourne conducted a small experiment. Participants were asked to look out the window at a nearby rooftop on which a small garden was laid out. Tests showed40-second green roof views sustain attention: The role of micro-breaks in attention restoration that even after 40-second observations, participants became more focused and made fewer mistakes in their studies throughout the day. Keith Lee, the author of the experiment, believes that contemplating nature helps us focus and maintain a working mood.
Look out the window from time to time, especially if there is a picturesque view from there, go for a walk in the yard or in a nearby park.
Positive thinking
Have you ever wondered why a person feels nothing? Perhaps it's all about the negative thinking that haunts him every day. It’s worth starting to think positively and look for the positive sides in everything. For example, if there is an emptiness inside your soul, it means that a lot of space has freed up in it in order to fill it with something new and exciting. Your apathy symbolizes the beginning of a new stage in life, which will allow you to start over with a clean slate. From now on, you will experience new emotions, meet new people, and find something you like. There is not emptiness in your heart now, but free space that yearns for new knowledge and feelings. Until you find something to fill it with, try to find support from your loved ones. Now, more than ever, you need communication.
Specialist help
If all of the above methods turned out to be useless, do not despair. Perhaps it is time to seek help from a specialist in the field of psychotherapy or psychology. You should not regard such an appeal to a stranger as something shameful. Today, many qualified specialists practice psychological assistance to people who find themselves in difficult situations. Such people guarantee complete anonymity and compliance with medical confidentiality. Do not forget that for many people, a state of emptiness leads to more serious problems than apathy and deterioration in mood. Several sessions of psychoanalysis will help you avoid serious stages.
