What to do when you feel bad: advice from a psychologist. Cats are scratching at my soul, I want to cry

October 6, 2018
Depressive states
Timoshenko Mikhail

It often happens that, no matter how you look at the current life circumstances, you see only negativity around. It becomes heavy on the soul, one gives up, there is no desire to take on important matters. How to get out of a difficult situation and collect your thoughts? If cats scratch your soul, what should you do? The answers to these questions can be found in our publication.

Why so bad?

There are several common causes of negative emotional well-being:

Troubles in family life are one of the most common causes of depression. In quarrels with loved ones, it is difficult to choose a winner. No matter how the situation develops, every relative will eventually feel bad.
Conflicts at work - employees are not chosen. Often you have to demonstrate a loyal attitude towards people with different, rather difficult characters. Divergence of opinions is a completely natural phenomenon.
Deterioration of health - you often have to wonder why it’s so bad when the body suffers from an illness. A physically unhealthy person gets out of the usual rhythm of life and experiences negative emotions.
Problems in love relationships - the desire to solely possess a person dear to your heart, along with jealousy, forces you to struggle with complex, mixed feelings. As a result, a whole storm of emotions plays out. Mental experiences often change from a feeling of complete happiness and satisfaction to tears of sorrow. Confusion in personal relationships can cause prolonged depression.

Why track your emotions?

Falling in love and the development of attachment is accompanied in the human body by certain psychophysical processes. First of all, the role of these mediators is played by hormones. A person begins to experience pleasure, calmness next to a partner, needs his attention, and a need appears to take care of his loved one in return.

When this cycle is suddenly interrupted for one reason or another, the body experiences a serious imbalance from unfamiliarity - after all, the production of hormones continues, but the object of love is absent. Anxiety and dissatisfaction arise, and depression sets in.

Every person should know and be aware of how they will feel after a divorce. In addition, by monitoring changes in well-being and emotional state, you can promptly take appropriate measures to neutralize or at least reduce discomfort.

Otherwise,
there is a possibility of falling into a prolonged depression, which will lead to :

deterioration in appearance;
development of problems with physical and mental health;
loss of the skill of building social connections;
reassessment of life guidelines;
immoral lifestyle;
decreased self-esteem.

The longer the stress continues, the harder it will be to return to a normal, healthy, fulfilling life, to find happiness with another partner, to become a professional, sought-after employee, or a good friend.

Organize everything

When you feel bad and want to cry, you need to try to soberly assess the situation. Regardless of the severity of the problem, any trouble can be resolved. You need to think carefully about what can be improved for the better through personal efforts, and what adversities are easier to overcome thanks to the help of others.

Sometimes it is enough to simply eliminate the root cause of a negative mental state. For example, it is worth considering leaving a job that forces you to endure daily abuse from your bosses and employees. If the troubles lie in a complete lack of mutual understanding with your spouse, it may be better to decide to break off the relationship than to be in an atmosphere of endless scandals every day.

It is important to correct your own mistakes that do not allow you to find peace of mind. Do everything possible so that your conscience no longer torments you due to previously unfair treatment of loved ones. Ask for forgiveness from friends and relatives if your soul is heavy as a result of torment of conscience.

How do the feelings of a woman and a man differ?

The differences between female and male reactions to separation are due to the fact that the fair half of humanity is more picky in choosing a partner. In addition, girls invest more mental and emotional energy into the relationship, fantasize about the future and have certain expectations for the guy. When thoughts don't match expectations, women experience more stress than men during a breakup.

Numerous studies have shown that the fair sex not only suffers more from a breakup, but also recovers faster from loss. The initial reactions of partners to separation come down to two opposite models of behavior: return love and improve the relationship or break off the connection forever.

The second option is a typical female approach. After all, if the couple did not materialize, what is the point of investing further effort there, spoiling plans for the future?

Girls:

resolutely get rid of given gifts;
they delete messages and photos and successfully pretend that they never knew their ex-partner.

Of course, the stage of suffering from separation does occur, but, as a rule, it does not last long.

In men, emotionality is less pronounced; upon separation, they gain a sense of freedom and joyfully anticipate permissiveness. However, the joy from this does not last long. Guys suffer less than women, but it takes them much longer to get over the consequences of a breakup.

Only after a certain period do men begin to seriously think about what they have lost. After months or years, they are able to again try to win the attention of their former passion, not deciding on a new relationship, going through the “grinding in” stage.

Of course, tendencies in reaction to separation are individual. Separation causes discomfort to both partners, but some understand and react to it immediately, gradually returning to normal life, while others prefer to postpone the moment of truth indefinitely, feeding on illusions and the benefits of the solution.

Avoid loneliness

When a person is left to himself for a long time, the soul becomes more and more vulnerable. A person is constantly subject to self-analysis. My thoughts are in complete chaos. The vector of possible events changes in opposite directions. Self-pity layers negativity. A subconscious feeling of resentment, fear and anger arises.

What to do when you feel bad, but there is no way to avoid loneliness? Avoid spending most of the day in bed, remaining in silence. It’s better to turn on your favorite music loudly and watch inspiring and funny films. Cleaning looks like a good distraction from problems. Start rearranging your home. Changes in the interior will refresh the boring reality and allow you to tune in to finding solutions that can change the situation for the better.

What does mental pain “scream” about?

Bad mood, depression, despondency, sadness are emotions that have a right to exist. It is impossible to be positive all the time. When something hurts, we go to the doctor. Pain is a sign that there is some problem in the body. Treatment is necessary to prevent the disease from developing further.

The situation with the internal state is exactly the same. If you do not cope with the negative emotions that poison the soul in time, everything can end in severe depression, mental disorders and even suicide attempts. Heaviness in the soul may be a signal that it’s time to:

rethink your goals and reconsider the current stage of life;
make changes that you can’t decide to make and constantly put off;
slow down the pace of work;
take a break from the hassle and bustle;
be more attentive to yourself, your feelings and experiences, without pushing them into the background;
get rid of loneliness and find like-minded people.

If you recognize such signals in time and take measures to eliminate them, then your state of mind will improve quite quickly. Your mood will improve and life will sparkle with new colors.

You should sound the alarm when you notice the following signs:

Eternal depression. You are constantly in a bad mood. Nothing pleases me at all. You don’t even try to smile at others on duty.
Lost interest. What once made your eyes burn has now become bland and boring. Neither work, nor hobbies, nor hobbies arouse enthusiasm anymore. Moreover, you even avoid meeting with friends.
Prostration. You feel like your battery is completely drained. Even if you have gathered the last of your strength and started to work, you immediately stop it. You are unable to concentrate on completing tasks.
Deterioration in sleep quality, insomnia. At night, sadness and melancholy become even heavier. Anxious thoughts prevent you from falling asleep peacefully. And when you wake up in the morning, you feel as if you had been unloading wagons all night.
Indifference to one's appearance. Not only have you stopped visiting the hairdresser, but you even simply forget to wash your hair or brush your teeth. You put on the clothes that fall out of the closet first. You don't care at all about your appearance.
Lost desire to have sex. People who are in close relationships have lost the joy of sex. They stop taking initiative and are reluctant to agree to intimacy with a partner. They don’t even try to act out passion in bed.
Apathy. You are no longer interested in news from the lives of your friends. You don't care what you're wearing, what you look like, what you eat, etc.

All signs point to you being deeply depressed. And it's time to pull yourself out of it. The article “How to get out of depression” has a lot of useful tips on this topic.

Look at the problem from the outside

If your heart is heavy, what should you do? Advice from psychologists speaks of the need for a sober, impartial assessment of the situation. Think about how dire the future or existing circumstances are. Take a look at your immediate surroundings. Many people probably have to deal with more serious problems. However, no one stops fighting. It might be worth chatting live with people who have similar problems, or starting a correspondence on social networks.

Spend more time with friends

Who to talk to when you feel bad? In such a situation, it is worth sharing your thoughts with true comrades, discussing problems, simply pouring out your soul and trying to find the right solution. When it’s simply unbearable to go beyond the four walls, call your friends on the phone. Close people who really care about your problems will definitely want to schedule a meeting. Having heard about the causes of depression, good comrades will not only give useful advice for solving problems, but will also take the conversation in a completely different, more positive direction. Thus, during a meeting, you can take your mind off troubles for a while and part with restless thoughts.

What else can you do when you feel bad? Try to organize an evening in the company of cheerful friends. A meeting can be held not only at home. Go to fun places together. A noisy environment does not always allow you to get out of a psychological crisis. However, all sorts of fun will serve as a good distraction.

Take action

Troubles disappear on their own only in exceptional cases. Inaction causes problems to be resolved indefinitely. What to do if you feel bad? Psychologists advise trying to do everything possible to resolve existing conflicts as soon as possible. As practice shows, from whining day after day, thinking about the cause of misfortunes and the frailty of life, no changes in a positive direction occur.

Play some sports

What to do when you feel bad, how to try to lead a more active lifestyle? The good thing about sports is that physical activity forces the body to produce pleasure hormones. During training, your emotional state changes. Thoughts switch to searching for internal reserves to perform difficult exercises. Even a short evening run will allow you to get rid of unnecessary thoughts before bed and have a quality rest at night.

A good solution for releasing negative emotions is training with a punching bag. This is an especially good idea when there is a grudge against a loved one lurking in your soul. It is recommended to play sports in the company of friends. In this case, the spirit of competition will not force you to give up training after the first time.

Sports achievements are a good source for increasing self-confidence. Individuals who are determined to succeed are more likely to overcome emotional turmoil. Among other things, training makes it possible to acquire a toned body appearance, which will allow you to be satisfied with yourself.

Organize your holiday

What to do when you feel bad? What to do? According to psychologists, creating a festive mood is an extremely effective solution for eliminating feelings of endless sadness and suppressing anxiety. If there are no significant events planned in the near future, use cash savings. Go to the mall and pick out the things you've always dreamed of.

Attend interesting events. Go to the premiere of a good film, attend a concert of your favorite performer, go to the theater. Consider spending time in a sauna. Complement your pleasant, relaxing experience with a massage. It is only natural that enjoying such activities is much more fun in the company of friends.

Perhaps it's time to take a break from everyday work and go on vacation. Discuss the situation with your superiors. If you don’t have enough money, borrow some money from your loved ones and go on vacation as far from home as possible. Leave behind everything that is associated with a bad state of mind.

Causes of sadness and how to deal with it

Before you fight sadness, you need to find out its cause. Let's look at some of the main causes of sadness, as well as ways to combat it. So, most often the soul becomes sad and lousy for the following reasons:

loss (death of a loved one, divorce, separation);
relationship problems;
melancholy for no apparent reason.

Loss

Perhaps the most difficult test in life is to survive the death of a loved one. It is very painful, difficult and bitter to lose loved ones. But you have to get over it. Usually the first few days after the incident a person is in shock. He cannot fully comprehend what happened.

Then, a week after the tragedy, the person realizes that he has lost a close friend or relative forever. He is overcome by acute emotional and sometimes even physical pain. Over time it fades and becomes a little easier.

It is very difficult to advise anything in such a situation. Recommendations like - find yourself a new activity or look for new experiences - are meaningless. In a state of difficult experience, a person does not want to do absolutely anything. But you shouldn’t immerse yourself entirely in your grief. This will lead to deep depression and mental disorders.

The “black” longing for the departed person should turn into light sadness. This, of course, will require time and effort. First of all, remember those who stayed next to you. These people need you. Pay attention to them.

The pain of loss helps ease work and solving pressing matters. In order not to endlessly chase thoughts about the departed person in your head, immerse yourself in work or a hobby. By the way, when we grieve the loss of a loved one, we feel sorry for ourselves. We cannot imagine life without this person, and therefore we grieve. But we don’t know where he went. Perhaps he is better there than on earth.

Divorce or separation is much easier to cope with than the death of loved ones. Although at first it seems that life is over. It is difficult to imagine your bright future without familiar relationships.

In this case, you need to distract yourself from negative thoughts associated with divorce. If people disagree, it means they don’t like each other in some way. You will still meet a person with whom you will live in perfect harmony. And you will find happiness again.

But you understand perfectly well that sitting at home and mourning the past, you will not find love.

Keep meeting your friends. Add bright emotions and colors to your life. Update your wardrobe, go for a massage, go to the hairdresser, change your image. Gradually you will feel that you are ready for new acquaintances and relationships. Read about how to love yourself on the website.

Relationship problems

If in a relationship you are more often sad than happy, then you should think about ending it. Relationships shouldn't be painful. Discuss your experiences with your significant other. Were you able to find a compromise and solve the problem? Wonderful!

If nothing changes and you still continue to suffer, break this painful connection. Parting will be a difficult test, but in the future it will bring relief and the opportunity to meet true love.

Longing for no apparent reason

Sometimes it happens that everything seems to be fine in life. Everyone is alive and well. But for some reason it became sad and depressing. Although there is no objective reason for sadness, and you don’t understand why your soul feels so bad. Allow yourself to be a little sad and try to find the reason for the blues.

Think that you are doing well. You are healthy, your loved ones are also in good health. You don't have any serious problems. Thank fate for this. And you will immediately feel how you will feel better. Turn on your favorite music, read an interesting book. They will help you distract from unnecessary, unreasonable thoughts.
Perhaps you are simply tired from household chores or work. Give yourself a few days to fully relax. Take some time off from work and go on a short trip.
Gray and monotonous everyday life also spoils the mood. New experiences will help to disperse the melancholy caused by the daily routine. Do something you've never tried before. Provide yourself with new and unique emotions. Go to a concert, go hiking, dance, ski, go for a bike ride. There are a lot of options!
Sadness can also settle in the soul from loneliness. Even the most die-hard introvert needs a friend. Surely you have at least one friend whom you can invite to the cinema or for a walk. If not, try expanding your circle of acquaintances. Sign up for courses, register on the forum that interests you. There are a lot of people in the world. And somewhere your soul mate is wandering.

I recommend watching the following video when you feel sad again.

Don't let negative thoughts enter your head

Draw an exclusively positive picture of the future in your mind. Often experiences are associated with a premonition of something bad in the future. To maintain peace of mind, the main thing is to prevent the emergence of negative emotions that have nothing to do with the objective reality of the current moment. It has been proven that thoughts about bad things act as a kind of magnet for similar events. If you worry all day long about possible troubles in the future, then problems will certainly become a reality.

How to get over a breakup?

Despite the difference in approaches to separation between men and women, sooner or later everyone has a natural question about effective ways to get out of depression. There are universal rules that will help you organize your life and return to a full-fledged everyday life.

First of all, this concerns the environment around .
Place of residence and social circle directly influence a person’s thoughts and feelings. It’s worth thinking about a change of scenery. This doesn’t have to be a move, at least a remodel, renovation, or general cleaning. Having order in your home helps you organize your thoughts.
If after a breakup a person continues to communicate with mutual friends or relatives of the former partner, constant conversations about the relationship cannot be avoided. To forget about a sad experience, you should not maintain close ties with those who remind you of the relationship.
Creativity and work are ways to productively release energy and negative feelings. It doesn’t matter if a person has abilities, the main thing is to have the desire. Today you can learn anything, which means there are no obstacles to changing your profession and realizing your creative potential.
You also need to be able to rest properly . This does not mean that you should work constantly, but you should not spend time aimlessly in order to avoid the appearance of obsessive thoughts about your partner. New experiences, useful and interesting books, the realization of an old dream are the best ways to get out of depression.

To get acquainted with a different experience, you can read novels or watch dramas - without fanaticism, just to understand that everything can be different, that you don’t have to suffer for your partner for the rest of your life, you need to move on.