What to do when you give up and how to believe in yourself

Why do you feel apathy?

Many of us have more than once experienced a loss of strength, a feeling when we don’t want to do anything. It is important to identify the causes of this condition. There are quite a lot of them. Here are the main ones:

Regular lack of sleep leads a person to fatigue, apathy, and reluctance to do anything.
Waiting for results from something. If the result does not reach the expected level, then disappointment sets in and everything starts to fall out of hand. If you exceed your expectations, then your head begins to spin with delight - there’s no time for work anymore!
Constant worry about someone prevents you from concentrating and being in a businesslike mood.
Low self-esteem also unsettles you, greatly poisons your life, and prevents you from opening up.
Simple physical fatigue also leads to loss of strength.
Doing nothing for a long time leads to the realization that everything is passing by. This leads to apathy.
Finally, there may be a vampire nearby.

Be realistic, set achievable goals

You must understand that the chance of mastering some skills the first time is negligible. If you think otherwise, then perhaps you have read too many fairy tales where everything happens “at the behest of the pike.” It takes time to achieve success, so allow yourself to fail and learn from your mistakes.

If it’s difficult for you to even imagine a large-scale and distant goal, it seems like a pipe dream, then break it down into small stages that you will go through step by step at certain periods.

For example, if you want to lose 2 dress sizes, write down a plan for how much you should lose per week and be happy with each intermediate result. Remember that one kilogram lost in a week is a good result.

What to do if you have already slipped to the lowest point

You “ran, ran”, exhausted yourself, tried, but there was no desired result. After disappointment comes the understanding that you don’t have the strength to take on something again and achieve what you want.

You are, of course, familiar with these emotional experiences. Do you think others didn’t have them? I believe that all people go through emotional burnout. It’s just that your body itself is hinting to you that it’s time to stop and rest.

Psychologists advise performing the following actions at the very peak of mental burnout:

Don't feel like doing anything? And don’t do it, stay in this state. Do you want to lie in bed all day? Lay around! I want to whine and complain. Dial your best friend’s number, it’s time to meet and talk it out, cry. We complained, talked and everything went away.
If there is no one to complain to, take a notebook, a pen and write everything that boils down.
Don't linger in this state. They splashed it out, felt better, don’t think about it anymore.
Sleep, walks, rest will serve you well. As soon as your body rests, your thirst for activity will awaken again.
Start falling into a normal rhythm. And praise yourself more often for any achievement.

Positive body expressions

Expression of sympathy.
Among the many means of expressing sympathy, shaking hands occupies a special place. However, it must be taken into account that a woman who expresses sincere feelings to another woman, especially during a serious condition, does not shake hands. She gently takes her hands in hers and thus expresses her sympathy. Sympathy can be expressed simply by touching its object. Openness, sincerity, trust. A person speaking confidentially will most likely not make hand gestures near his face such as covering his mouth, scratching his nose or head, etc. That is, here, first of all, you need to look for the absence of doubt or other negative gestures that contradict the expressed feelings.

A handshake with two hands aims to show your interlocutor sincerity, responsiveness or the depth of your feelings for him. The left hand is used to convey additional feelings towards the interlocutor. Moreover, if the initiator of the handshake holds his interlocutor by the elbow, then this indicates warmer feelings than if he held his interlocutor by the wrist.

One of the many gestures that express the openness of a communication partner is open hands. They are often accompanied by raising the shoulders, palms open forward.

When a child is lying or hiding something, he hides his palms behind his back. An adult in such a situation usually hides his palms in his pockets or under crossed arms. Businessmen should therefore pay attention to the client's palms when he explains the reason why he cannot make a deal. The true reason is expressed with open palms.

The palm open upward is used as a gesture that expresses complaisance and does not carry anything threatening. The person being approached with the request, in this case, does not feel any pressure in this request and will most likely fulfill it.

Another characteristic gesture is an unbuttoned jacket (jacket, etc.). A person who trusts another will unbutton or even take it off in his presence. Openness, like other attitudes, is contagious. Between people with unbuttoned jackets and jackets, agreement arises more easily than between those whose jackets are buttoned to all the buttons.

The hand-to-chest gesture is seen as openness and honesty. Roman legionnaires greeted each other by placing one hand over their heart and raising the other with an open palm towards the person they were addressing.

The partner, sitting and not intending to get up, straightens his legs - this is a sign of openness. Rocking in a chair reflects satisfaction with the situation.

Getting close to another person means wanting to work together on a common issue.

How to move to a new stage

Remember that you already had such a condition and it passed, this too will pass, life will get better again. The body just asked for a break. For the dawn to come, one must survive the dark night. You survived it, now think about how to get ready for the new stage of your life.

First, compare yourself a year ago and now. You have your own achievements, albeit small ones, but you do not stand still, progress is obvious.
Write down your achievements, set new goals, and map out your future development.
Chat with someone who is striving for something. Try to “light up” from it. When you recharge, you will become inspired, ideas will be born one after another.
Plan something nice. Let it be going to the movies or cooking the rarest dish.
Find a hobby. Without a pleasant activity, it is difficult to get rid of apathy.

Learn the lessons

If our ancestors had not been able to draw conclusions, they would have made the same mistakes every time. Progress would not have happened, humanity would have stagnate in one place. The accumulated knowledge helps you move on. If you didn't know the consequences of making bad decisions, you would still make them, a day earlier or a day later. So just sit and think about what lessons you learned from the situation and what you can do now.

Remember famous people who once found themselves broke, and then got up and moved on, and achieved success again. I think there will definitely be a dozen examples. For example, Thomas Edison had over 10,000 failed attempts to invent a commercially viable light bulb. They didn’t want to publish a book about Harry Potter, but JK Rowling persisted.

How to get out of a deadlock

You all know what needs to be done, you read smart books on this topic, but still nothing works out for you. What to do?

Review your aspirations. Perhaps you have taken on an unbearable burden and are now suffering. Reconsider your priorities, maybe you can moderate your ardor
Look on the positive side of the problem. After all, it made you stronger, so it became not as scary as it seemed before.
Perhaps you are standing at a crossroads in life. See where you should turn.
Think about why laziness, fatigue, and blues are given to a person. This is just a defensive reaction and time for recovery.
Recover and move forward. The main thing is not to give up.

Where do you get energy when you're not in the mood?

A person with a visual vector has completely different problems. Such a person lives by his emotions, and it is absolutely necessary for him to receive an emotional response from others. This gives him a boost of energy. A person with a visual vector dreams of love more than anything else in the world. And a bad mood, and sometimes even melancholy and despondency arise in such a person when the most important thing in his life is missing - a loving and beloved man (or woman) nearby.

Meeting friends, going to the theater or cinema will help lift the mood of a person with a visual vector. Also for such a person, reading fiction is of great importance, which helps develop feelings in children and adolescents, as well as deepen sensuality and prevent the freshness of feelings from dulling at any age.

Reading good fiction gives a person a powerful moral core that helps to withstand any life situation and cope with any difficulties.

But the main charge of vital force appears with the maximum realization of its enormous sensory amplitude among other people.

What to do when you give up?

The “System-Vector Psychology” training will help you independently analyze your difficult life situation and determine why you don’t have the strength and what you need to do to realize yourself in life. We must remember that there is always a way out.

The “System-Vector Psychology” training helped many people see the light at the end of the tunnel and find solutions to their problems:

Come to the free online training by Yuri Burlan “System-vector psychology”

and discover within yourself a source of fresh strength and incredible energy.

Author of the publication: Ksenia Voitkovskaya, doctor
The article was written based on materials from the training “System-vector psychology”

How to let go of doubts

Often a person gives up so much that he begins to doubt his abilities. If you have low self-esteem, it will seem so. To overcome your fears, build your confidence. How to believe in yourself so that everything works out?

Psychologists suggest using the most effective methods:

Start taking action, don't expect a miracle. If you lose your job, start looking for a new one. If you want to get married, don’t sit at home, a man won’t find you that way. If you want to see yourself slim, don’t try to find an excuse for being overweight. Start eating right, jogging, aerobics, and exercise. Take at least small steps to achieve your goal. Very soon you will see how life changes for the better.
Keep a diary where you record your achievements. At first they will be tiny and insignificant. Every day they will become more significant and solid. You will see, your confidence will grow before your eyes.
You have been tormented by ridicule, learn to answer correctly, or not notice them. The answer: “So what?” will confuse any scoffer.
Don't get caught up in your worries. Don't dwell on your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes without exception.
Find what you can do better than others and be proud of it. If you don’t find anything, you’ll have to urgently search. For example, learn how to cross-stitch, bake pies, sew and much more.
Treat yourself to surprises sometimes. Unexpectedly go to a cafe, maybe you will meet a new interesting person there.
Try something new, make your life more diverse.

I'm giving up

My name is Sergey and I am 24 years old.

I worked in a very large and successful company in our city, in a very interesting and young field. This job was everything to me. Even though I have a place to live, I rented an apartment in the same building as my work, because I wanted to always be there. There I was needed, loved, active, successful, there I made my real friends, many bright things happened there for the first time in my life. I practically stopped communicating with my parents, since I devoted all my time to work, and I also always pushed my personal life into the background. I developed a special relationship with the director; he mentored me and helped me not only in my work, but also supported me morally and taught me a lot. I worked in this company for 3 years and everything was fine, of course there were problems that I solved, but overall everything was good, an excellent team, a very high salary, respect from clients and colleagues. I spoke about it like this: - this is an island that has its own rules, which are very different from the outside world. And this island was for me home, and work, and family, and environment, and mission, and school, and everything that a person has - I at one time gave up everything in his favor, he replaced everything for me. This was my world in which I lived.

But one day I thought that I had grown out of this nest, thoughts began to come to me that I was TOO in good conditions, equating them to hothouse, unreal ones, I wanted to test myself again for strength, open new horizons, get out of my comfort zone. And I went to get a job at another company in the same industry, with competitors.

Everything went well, they were interested in me and I voiced my decision at my work.

They didn’t understand me, they called me a traitor, a traitor, a defector.

As soon as I left, fate took the whip and began to strike. The first blow was when I was told that I would not be hired by this company. Then these calls from clients, when I had to say that I don’t work either here or there. I was simply stupefied by the changes, no such home, no work, no communication, it was as if I was born again, only at the age of 24, but I don’t know who I am, where I am, what I should do, where to move. Friends who were at my previous job - they remained there, but outside of it, as it turned out, there are not so many of them and, in fact, they are not my friends at all.

Since the work took up a large amount of time and energy, when left without it, I immediately began to ask questions about the purpose of man in general, and began to try himself in different fields. I easily passed the interview, won the selection among a group of other applicants, employers liked me, they willingly hired me, but as soon as I started working, I realized that this was not mine, it wasn’t right, it didn’t catch me, it didn’t attract me, it was someone else’s, stupid, not real. I apologized, said it as it is, that it was not mine and left, everyone said that they understood that if anything happened, come back, but it really was not mine.

My mother supported me all this time, and said that I could consider the apartment in which my grandmother lives to be my own and live there, I moved there, and then I was completely blown away, like this is a house for you, but this is just some kind of horror, my grandmother just me kills, finishes off, I already went down in level of life after leaving work, so it’s also her attitude towards life, some kind of anger at the whole world, hostility, pettiness that she imposes. a house is like a house. I'm trying to abstract myself from it, but even if it's just in the background, you're still getting dirty with this dirt, old age, withering away. She's giving me a hard time about marriage. Like most of my peers got married long ago and gave birth to grandchildren, they are doing something, helping each other, but I am completely alone, and I don’t even have anything to say in response to her, all because I once decided that it takes too much time and effort. and now it seems to me that this has been lost, irrevocably. And it looks stupid, in short, it’s hard for me to describe it... Okay, about something else...

Recently, some clients invited me to their new company. It’s like we need a person who will promote a new product on the market, I decided to agree, I thought that it would be a distraction, I didn’t even attach importance to the salary, since I expected something else from this job.

Right from scratch, studying the topic, developing a compr, collecting information about the market and potential customers, areas of application, calling advertising agencies, going to nowhere, presentations, blah blah blah... in short, after two weeks, orders came in and everything seemed to be fine , but damn this is such bullshit, throwing beads in comparison with what I did before... I decided to leave, I told the founders, and they clung to me like a bath leaf to a basin, they just tormented me, and I said that I don’t want to do this, they start to persuade, saying that everything went well, we won’t find anyone better, and if we do, we’ll waste time. While I’m here, looking for a person for them, I’m just overpowering myself, I don’t want to do something carelessly, but I don’t want to do it either.

Yesterday I was getting ready for training and realized that I had lost the bank card on which I had the last money. I started scouring the entire apartment, everywhere I could, looking under the bed, the sofa, and in one minute I realized that I was just crawling around. room on his knees, like a worm who realized that the end had come for him, now they would kill him with a slipper.

In general, everything, well, everything, wherever you look, wherever you go, everything seems terrible, not mine, no one is around, everything is alien, everything is meaningless, I don’t know what to do, what to think, and the most disgusting thing is apathy, which to everything, to everyone, this is irritability, then insomnia, then drowsiness. The feeling of being unable to change anything. I'm already exhausted. I do not know what I want. There’s emptiness in my head, in my heart, I’m sick of this pity and self-loathing, I’m trying to cheer myself up, but it’s so difficult, I just start laughing wildly, turning into tears, when I say all this to myself. I myself don’t understand how I ended up in such a mess. The thought that this is my life, my youth, that I have stopped, that I am going backward every day, that I am already at the bottom, simply finishes me off. I tried to sit down and talk to myself, to understand myself, and then I just become stupefied by those thoughts that need to be taken for granted, I give up, and I don’t know what will happen to me next.

I give up and have thoughts of suicide (3 answers)

Motivate yourself for success

Today it is fashionable to be successful, but not everyone succeeds. If a person has not achieved success, then he may become depressed, feel like a loser, a worthless person. There is no need to despair. To achieve success, there must be motivation. How to find her?

First of all, we need to understand what SUCCESS means.

This is a coincidence of idea and result. That is: first the idea appears, then the motivation, then the implementation method and, finally, the result. But everyone has their own success. For some, learning to swim is already a success. But today we’ll talk about how to find motivation so that you don’t give up.

As psychologists advise, don’t set yourself a global goal right away. You will chase the unattainable, you will always be depressed, you will never begin to believe in yourself.

Rank your goals in order of difficulty. Break a big goal into small ones and start achieving the smallest part first. As you complete one goal after another, you will see yourself making good progress.

If in the middle of the path to the global goal, when everything is going well, you still get tired, you will have to stop and rest. You are not a machine, although the machine also needs a break.

Make a list of your previous successes

If it seems to you that you have achieved nothing in life, and the desired promotion at work has disappeared from under your nose, prove to yourself that you are great. After all, the most important thing after failure is to regain faith in yourself. To do this, take a pen and paper and write a list of your successes, pleasant moments in life, achievements. It doesn’t matter how big or small your successes are - the main thing is that it helps. You can make it a rule every evening to write down 7 pleasant things that happened to you that day. This kind of “therapy” can continue until you realize that your life is far from all negativity.

What will give you strength to overcome life's obstacles?

Those who are constantly under stress, those who are oppressed by apathy, always wonder where to get strength so that they want to continue to live, work, and create.

Here's what psychologists advise:

To find the strength to further move towards your goal and simply return to normal life, switch to another activity. To do this you must have a hobby.
And also listen to music that lifts your spirits.
To keep yourself in good shape, include foods rich in magnesium and vitamin C in your diet.
Be in nature more often. This is the best thing you can think of for relaxation and relaxation.
Change the environment sometimes. Never stay at home on vacation. There is no way to leave on a voucher, go to the dacha.
Throw out negative emotions, as they say, “let off steam”: beat a punching bag, a pillow, tear a magazine, stomp, shout. But this can be done a couple of times, no more. Next, direct your thoughts only in a positive direction.
Stop cherishing your worries, negative and sad thoughts. With an effort of will, stop their flow, switch to the positive. Attracting something good into life with bad thoughts will not work. Never talk bad about people, then you will see that there are more good people than bad ones.

Give yourself time to grieve

Allow yourself to process stress properly so that suppressed grief does not later result in depression. Give yourself a strictly limited time during which you have the right to: cry, eat cakes, watch sad films, go nowhere, replay your actions in your head and analyze your mistakes. Let this be your weekend, when you can, under a plausible excuse, not meet anyone you know and immerse yourself in your experiences. Having had your fill of grief, at some point you will realize that you are already sick of melodrama, you are tired of lying on the sofa, and you yourself will begin to do something step by step.

Let these steps be small, for example, cleaning up the house. But your energy will be directed towards something useful, and the result will be noticeable immediately, which will give you a feeling of satisfaction. This way you realize that at least you have control over something in your life.

A prayer of thanksgiving is the best way out of an impasse

Go to church, confess, let go of grudges. By the way, grievances stuck in the soul hurt your health, especially your heart and liver. Cancer also causes resentment against family and friends.

Thank the Almighty for every moment you live. A prayer of gratitude, even in your own words, will change your whole life. You will see, and indeed, there is so much beauty around: the sky, running clouds, flowers, a river, people.

Yes, everything is fine! You just need to rejoice that God gives you the opportunity to see all this and live in this paradise.

"The Darkest Hour Before the Dawn"

This old saying (presumably coming to us from the English language) is actively used in various films and books. And for good reason. Think about its meaning. Often despair overtakes us a moment before solving a problem. Remember at least a couple of cases from your life when you were no longer able to deal with difficulties on your own, and suddenly someone came to the rescue. This is easily explained: a person fights and solves problems on his own until the last moment, but to resolve the situation it was enough to ask for help. And once you give in and ask for help, the problem is solved. Usually the boiling point is not reached immediately, but almost at the end of the journey. Many people have given up, not even suspecting that they are just one step away from success - because they cannot foresee the future. But if you stop and stop walking, you will remain in the same place further.

After the black stripe comes the white stripe. This means that, being at the peak of the crisis, you can be sure that you will soon come out of it.

Sign language

Body language is quite predictable and the same for everyone, it cannot be faked, unless you are a politician or diplomat - they are trained in these techniques, and our body always tells the truth, revealing our true attitude to the situation. The main poses that you should know and pay attention to first are closed and open poses.

When a person assumes a closed posture

, he tells the world:

I'm tired
I don't want to talk now
I'm not ready for dialogue
I am embarrassed
I'm sad
I'm worried
I'm unsure of myself
I want to be alone
I don't feel comfortable in this place and/or with these people
I'm self-absorbed

A person crosses his arms and legs, as if closing himself off from the world, putting up a barrier between himself, his inner world and those around him, while he can stand or sit, most likely turning half-turned.

Open

the pose is the opposite, an invitation to dialogue, a sign of goodwill towards you and/or the situation as a whole. A person, taking an open pose, tells us:

I want to chat
I'm confident in myself
I feel good and comfortable in this environment, with these people
I'm interested in what you tell me
I'm open to what you suggest

This pose is relaxed, the person is turned towards you, his legs and arms are not crossed, he often shows his palms, if there is an obstacle between you, for example, a table, he tries to overcome it, leave the table, or if it is impossible to reach out as far as possible your body, arms.

Knowing these basic poses is a “trump card”, thanks to which you can always understand a person’s attitude towards you or your words, as well as the ability to influence others. The fact is that when you are closed, people, without realizing it, begin to treat you with caution. By consciously controlling your posture and opening up to people, you will increase your influence on them several times.

Author: Editorial staff of the Help-Point.net portal

Start working with a psychologist right now

Start a consultation

Tags: body language test masculinity-femininity

Comments

Loading comments...
Previous article

What to do when you give up and don’t want anything