What to do if you're afraid to get a job: why you're afraid to go to a new place

Reason for job change
Types of problems associated with job changes
Ways to reduce stress and increase stress resistance

According to working Russian citizens, there remains a steady trend in the desire of almost half to change their place of work. And although everyone is aware of the difficulties that they will have to face, making such a decision is always a strong emotional and physical stress. Changing jobs is always stressful. A new place, people (each with their own, as yet unknown characteristics), rules and responsibilities frighten with their unknown. Plus, changing jobs is a risk. There is a risk of not completing the probationary period, of not settling into the new team, of not being able to cope with the assigned responsibility.

Changing jobs isn't always stress-free

I'm afraid to go to work

My friend Olya worked for several years as a manicurist in a small private hairdresser.
And then she suddenly decided that it was time for her to grow up, and went to a massage course, after which they promised to place her in a large health center. At first, Olya was fired up by this idea and seemed to be glad about this turn of fate, but the closer the day of receiving her diploma approached, the sadder my friend became. In the end, she admitted that she was afraid to go to work: after the small salon, the health center seemed terribly scary to her. She almost stopped eating, and at night she dreamed of dissatisfied clients making scandals and disgracing her in front of her new colleagues. The fear of failing at work, making mistakes, doing something wrong, or looking ridiculous became her obsession. It got to the point that when she thought about work, her blood pressure would rise, her palms would sweat, and she would feel short of breath. Alas, Olya never got over this fear and still files other people’s nails in her small salon, and her massage therapist diploma gathers dust among old postcards and documents. At the same time, she is a really good massage therapist, as her friends and family, who have experienced the skill of her hands, have long been convinced of.

This skill could have been appreciated by other people if she had not been so afraid of becoming part of a new team.

Use quick stress relievers

You have a few quick stress relievers that you can use when you're feeling overwhelmed. Breathing exercises, for example, can help slow or reverse the fight-or-flight response that automatically kicks in when you panic and, when excessive, causes chronic stress. This will prevent the loss of your physical and mental health.

Taking a walk can also help you calm down, or you can hold toys to relieve tension or do some low-intensity exercise like squats (when no one is watching, of course) to redirect any extra energy and nervousness you may be experiencing.

Fear first. Changes

Yes, any changes are accompanied by discomfort. And changing jobs, too. But don’t think that everything will necessarily be bad in your case. It will just be different.

Think about it, we spend about one third of our lives at work. That's a lot. So can we continue to remain unclaimed, undervalued, allowed to be underpaid or humiliated? Definitely not.

What to do:

It is possible to experience change without pain and fear. Your main task is to stop replaying the negative scenario in your head. Persistently think that the new position will bring only positive changes.
Think about all the times you gave up something really good because you were afraid of change. Draw conclusions.
Write down on a piece of paper all the potential benefits of changing jobs and periodically return to what you wrote. Don’t mention the downsides, let only the positive outcome of the case live in your subconscious.

The third fear. Disappoint the employer

How can I leave? Without me everything will be lost! This is how perfectionist specialists think, who care about the employer, but not so much about themselves and their careers. They are afraid that if they leave the company, projects will fail, contracts will not be signed, deals will no longer be concluded, and bankruptcy is not far away.

Loyalty to your employer is, of course, commendable, but what about loyalty to yourself?

What to do:

Face your fear, remember that no one is irreplaceable. First and foremost, be true to yourself and your career principles.
At your previous job, do everything in your power, prepare for your departure, train the person who will replace you. Already in the process, you will feel how fear is slowly receding.

Fear four. Interviews, communication with recruiters

The fear of public speaking is one of the greatest after the fear of death. And even if there is only one listener, it can be so difficult to control emotions, not get nervous, speak calmly and not blush. For some, interviews seem so scary that they prefer to stay in a job they don’t like, saying, no, thank you, I’ve already been through this, I don’t want to do it anymore.

But without an interview, communication with HR or a potential employer, getting a job is completely impossible.

What to do:

Realize that your fear is a problem and get rid of it. It prevents you from living and developing. It shouldn't be this way.
Fear can also arise from a lack of experience. If you are not confident in yourself, gain experience. Speak in public, in front of a mirror at home, go to interviews. Work on your mistakes and be sure to take them into account at the next conversation.
Prepare thoroughly for each interview: study information about the company and position, prepare your questions for the recruiter and be prepared to talk about yourself and your professional experience.

Don't be afraid to change your job if it doesn't bring you any pleasure or profit. Be afraid to leave things as is, especially when your career has reached a dead end. And Work.ua will always support and tell you how to do everything right!

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Don't forget about hobbies and favorite activities that always help you relieve stress

Try to save some time in your life to continue doing what you love and what has always helped you relieve stress and tension, and avoid losing your favorite hobby during this period. And if you have never had a hobby, now is the time to start one.

This could include regular exercise, yoga, drawing, painting, writing, wood carving, playing a musical instrument, participating in interest groups, listening to music, meditation, gardening, bowling or fishing. The options are endless!

The second fear. Can't find a new job

A very strange phobia. There is always work, even in times of crisis, even when your neighbor cannot find a suitable position for the second year in a row, even if the media trumpets about growing unemployment.

On average, job seekers find a new job within 3-6 months. The duration of the search depends on the field of activity, experience and the situation on the labor market. But in any case, you will find it, your relevant position.

Another question is if the cause of your worries is you, your lack of competence and confidence, that you are unlikely to be needed by anyone other than your current employer. But here we still need to figure out whether this fear is far-fetched.

What to do:

It may be unethical to look for a new job without quitting your old one, but in this case these are necessary measures. By following such a plan, you will prepare for the changes mentally and financially, and you will have more time to search for the job you have long dreamed of.
If you quit and there is no suitable replacement option, find temporary work. This is your insurance. It will eliminate fear and the need to accept the first offer that comes your way. But be careful not to let a temporary part-time job become a lifelong one.
Think about whether you are underestimating your importance. Work on your self-esteem. If you still realize that you really lack experience, learn, develop, try.

Get the necessary knowledge and skills

Five years ago, when I changed my field of activity, there were practically no comprehensive courses and programs that would allow me to obtain a new profession online. At that time there was no full-fledged institute for supporting people who want to change something in their activities. Now the situation is completely different: there are many books, online courses, video lessons, including both paid and publicly available. The main thing is to decide what exactly you want and allocate the right amount of time to achieve the goal.

Fear of the new team

It's almost always difficult to get along with new people. And it’s doubly difficult if these people are your new work team. What are they saying behind your back? What do they think of you? Do they notice every oversight and every mistake? Do they gossip and discuss your clumsiness and mistakes? It is very difficult to become part of an established, close-knit team. And the thought that you will have to be a stranger and a black sheep in a new “work family” for a long time can poison the joy of the most wonderful, prestigious and highly paid job.

Here two points usually come to the fore. Firstly, the fear of change, which is common to many people with the anal vector. They see new people, like everything new in general, as a threat, a source of danger, an unknown and therefore frightening factor from which you don’t know what to expect. Secondly, visual self-doubt and increased sensitivity to the opinions of others, which inflates fear of the new team.

A couple of years ago, the company I worked for was facing massive downsizing. My colleague Anton simply panicked at this prospect. What can I say if he was clearly afraid to look for a job, let alone change it. When he sent his resume, his hands were shaking, you could hear it from the way he nervously clicked his mouse. And when they called him about an interview, his face simply changed... “How will I work there? I don't know anyone there! And this is a completely different end of Moscow!” — he complained hysterically after another interview.

Another colleague, Nina, fell into depression after being told about the layoff and even sobbed at times in front of her computer monitor. “I’m so used to you all... How will I work with strangers?” - she said through tears. At the same time, her heart rate increased, her palms sweated, and headaches began. The fear of a new job completely ruined her last days in our friendly team...

How to overcome fear of new responsibilities and work

If you are a professional, then it will be easier for you to cope with this fear than for yesterday’s high school student. The basis of your fear is ignorance.

It is possible that you will have to learn new things. Challenge yourself, start learning new things, and you won’t have time to think about how to overcome the fear of a difficult new job, because there will be no time to be afraid. To build a good relationship with your new boss, initially focus entirely on completing tasks accurately.

Once your basic professional qualities are appreciated, the time will come to show talent, initiative and rational proposals.

Recognize that learning takes time

Every job is more difficult at first as you figure out what is expected of you and how best to perform your tasks.

Just like in life, anything we do consistently will get easier, and before you know it, you'll find your rhythm and begin to feel confident in your job and your ability to do it well. Remember this when you start to feel stressed or unsure of your abilities. Don’t panic and don’t wait to lose your job, give yourself time to learn and feel the ground under your feet.

Fear of the boss

Among the fears before work, the fear of the boss stands apart. If only because you can suddenly get it without even changing your job.

This happened to my brother, who left for another city, tempted by the offer of a world-famous production company. At first it was not easy for him in the new place, he had to overcome both the fear of the new job and the alienation of the team, and get used to the new responsibilities... After a few months, he completely got used to it, completed his probationary period, became friends with his colleagues, and began to go to work with pleasure. It was then that thunder struck: the boss was changed at the enterprise. Instead of the previous boss, who, in fact, invited the out-of-town employee to join him, an aggressive tyrant was appointed manager. This one began his “reign” with the total suppression of any personal initiative of his subordinates, with rudeness and personal insults...

Alas, not everyone was able to overcome their fear of the new boss, including my brother. He had to quit and leave the city, to which he had gotten used to with such difficulty and perseverance...

There are times in every person’s life when he is afraid of losing his job or, having already lost it, is afraid to go to a new job. This may be due to fear of change, fear of a new team, fear of not being able to cope with the job, of disgrace, of not being up to par, etc. However, no matter what fears accompany the process of going to work, it cannot be avoided. Life dictates the need to earn and support ourselves and our family... And the less stress and fears that accompany changes in our work history, the more successful and happier we will be. Sometimes this requires very little, for example, taking the “System-Vector Psychology” training by Yuri Burlan and getting rid of the fear of work forever. Free online lectures are coming soon - join us to learn more! Register here

Proofreader: Anna Katargina, Gilyara Temiryanova

Contact a psychologist

That's what they are for, right? To help us get through difficult times in our lives. It is best to use an online service like Helppoint during this period. Such services always have many psychologists specializing in various problems. The administration checks their diplomas and qualifications and will also help you choose the right one. You will not have to spend additional time searching, choosing, or traveling to a psychologist in conditions of limited resources. A convenient format - correspondence or video chat will allow you to receive specialist support when you need it. With the help of a psychologist, you can go through a rather nervous period of changing jobs as calmly as possible, ultimately gaining invaluable experience in overcoming difficulties, and not a loss of strength and depression.

Author: Editorial staff of the Help-Point.net portal

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