What? Do I have the right to be in a bad mood? I had never heard anything like it before, and this idea changed my life.
I was never allowed this as a child. Anger was not considered a normal reaction to any event, it was regarded as bad behavior. It was believed that I, a good girl, should always be happy. My anger was considered unacceptable. And so I was doomed to feel shame, guilt and anxiety.
I wonder if there would be a dragon inside me if I was allowed to experience and express anger and anger?
I had to go through a journey of spiritual growth to learn self-compassion due to the negative feelings I was experiencing. After all, in fact, both anger and bad mood are a completely natural part of our lives. They should not be condemned or regarded as destructive. We can control them, deal with them without harming anyone.
Over 20 years of working on myself and practicing with clients, I have developed the following techniques to help cope with a bad mood.
Smile
A 2011 study at the University of Michigan found that positive thoughts that make you smile make you feel happier.
The fake smile that some workers are required to keep on their faces, on the contrary, leads to emotional exhaustion. But another 2003 study from Clark University in Massachusetts found that smiling itself triggers positive memories.
So just smile and hold that expression for a while.
Find something to laugh about
Laughter has positive effects in the short and long term.
When you laugh, the consumption of oxygen-saturated air increases, the work of the heart, lungs, and muscles is stimulated, and the amount of endorphins increases. Laughter helps fight stress and provides a calm, relaxed state.
In the long term, laughter improves the immune system and reduces pain, helps cope with difficult situations and improves mood, eliminating apathy.
Simple joys to improve your mood6
Each person decides for himself - to be sad, or to cheer up by any means. Fortunately, there are many different options for quickly improving your condition without spending any money or a lot of energy.
The simplest options: watch an interesting and funny video, read your favorite book, cook a tasty and favorite dish, or treat yourself to some little thing for 100 - 200 rubles.
If you manage to stay at home alone, you can sing a fiery song or dance. Both men and girls can watch a good movie, play with a cat or dog, brew aromatic tea and wear a nice suit to work.
Intimacy between partners, if they love each other, also improves mood and self-awareness.
Listen to joyful music
The Journal of Positive Psychology published a recent study by Yuna Ferguson and Cannon Sheldon, which tested the effects of joyful music on a person's mood.
Students listened to positive music and tuned in to a feeling of happiness. As a result, they really began to feel happy.
Those students who did not think about feelings of happiness, but simply concentrated on the music, did not feel the same enthusiastic positive emotions.
The conclusion can be drawn as follows: use joyful music as a tool to lift your mood, but do not forget to concentrate on the feelings of joy and happiness that arise from it.
You get angry and irritated for no apparent reason
You are probably familiar with this situation: the day is going great, but suddenly some little thing turns your mood upside down. If this happens often in your life, you need to understand what is the real trigger for these changes.
Perhaps it is a matter of physical health. American scientists have identified S. Penckofer, L. Quinn, M. Byrn et al. Does Glycemic Variability Impact Mood and Quality of Life? / Diabetes Technology & Therapeutics the connection between the amount of sugar in the blood and the emotional state. The researchers noted that sharp fluctuations in glucose levels are often accompanied by low quality of life and poor mood.
Don't forget about your personal triggers: people, places or other factors.
Walk wider
It turns out that when you walk, it’s not only where you walk that matters, but also how you do it. Sarah Sondgrass from Florida Atlantic University conducted a study on the type of gait and the sensations associated with it.
One group of people was given the task of walking with long strides, waving their arms and holding their heads high, the second was given the task of walking in small steps with their hands clasped and their eyes downcast.
Finally, participants were asked how they felt during the experiment. It turned out that people from the first group felt much more confident and happier.
When going out for a walk, even under the weight of your problems, do not forget how to walk.
Quick ways to cheer up4
The easiest way to quickly become cheerful and cheerful is to turn on your favorite music. You can make a playlist of energizing tracks in advance. You can combine the two methods and go for a run by inserting headphones with invigorating, energetic music into your ears.
If a difficult situation arises in life, you may need the support of loved ones. Calling a friend or relative is one option for quickly improving your mood. Social interactions make people happy, but loneliness depresses people.
Other quick options to improve your mood are to set simple goals and achieve them quickly, or watch a good movie or read an interesting book.
By ordering delicious food from a restaurant to your home, you can also quickly improve your well-being, and you don’t even need to strain for this. You can also search the Internet for funny pictures and videos, read jokes and find any other reason to laugh.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
In fact, it could be a notebook, a note, or a regular document in which you write down what you are grateful for.
A study published in the Journal of Happiness proved that there is a direct link between gratitude and feelings of satisfaction and happiness.
Participants in this experiment wrote thank-you letters for three weeks, listing everything they were grateful for in life. Every week the letters became longer and people felt more satisfied with their lives.
Get creative
Sometimes people fall into a bad mood from excess energy and the inability to realize it - a typical case for quarantine. Try to give this energy an outlet by creating something. It is not necessary to be a creative person in the generally accepted sense of the word. Any creative activity will do: cooking, rearranging, cleaning, journaling.
Plan your vacation
One study by Dutch scientists conducted in 2010 showed that when going on vacation, even two months in advance, people feel happier.
If you don’t have a vacation, think about the New Year holidays and subsequent holidays - it’s also nice.
More than 1,500 Dutch adults participated in the experiment, which lasted 4 months, about 1,000 of whom were going on vacation.
It turned out that two months before a planned vacation, a person’s mood improves. He begins to plan a vacation, which provides many pleasant thoughts, and looks forward to a great time. His mood increases as he approaches date X.
Play with your pet
Andrey/Flickr.com
One study found that playing with a puppy increased pleasure levels more than eating chocolate.
Scientists recorded brain activity during different activities using EEG to find out what brought more pleasure.
Activities that were more rewarding triggered activity in the left side of the brain, which is associated with pleasure and happiness.
As a result of the experiment, scientists found that people experienced the greatest joy when they found 10 euros. The next greatest pleasure arose when playing with a puppy. Since you can't find money at will, you can get a pet and improve your mood any time every day.
Mood swings in women
“I started having constant mood swings when I was 17. I woke up with a great mood for the day, and at breakfast I was already bawling. During the day I was active, and in the evening I was completely apathetic. I absolutely did not understand the reasons for my condition and did not know what to do with these changes. Since then, I have periodically experienced something similar, especially in the spring. By the age of 25, my friends began to call me hysterical, my colleagues considered me unbearable. There was a fear that everyone would turn away from me. It seemed as if two different people lived inside me..."
— Tatyana, 35 years old, advertising specialist
It is believed that women are more susceptible to mood swings than men. Hippocrates was the first to draw attention to such peculiarities of women’s behavior. Sudden mood swings, fainting, memory loss, paralysis - these strange and changeable symptoms he called hysteria (from the Greek hysteron - “uterus”). Hippocrates believed that hysteria occurs only in women: due to prolonged sexual abstinence, their uterus becomes mobile and, “wandering around the body,” puts pressure on other organs and causes such strange conditions. [3]
Today, psychologists agree that hysterical disorder is a learned pattern of behavior that can be changed. We wrote earlier about the treatment of female hysteria using the 7Spsy behavior modification method. The dynamic pace of life, stress at work, responsibility at home - there are many reasons for mood swings in women. But the main reasons are related to the cyclical nature of female physiology. Let's take a closer look at them.
Premenstrual syndrome
The course of the menstrual cycle provokes periodic mood swings in girls. Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is a consequence of hormonal changes. Relatively speaking, the body is upset due to the failure of pregnancy - the unfertilized egg dies and leaves the body. During PMS, many women experience increased irritability, aggression, irritability, tearfulness, and emotional swings.
Pregnancy
From the first minutes of pregnancy, serious physiological changes occur in the female body. In turn, these changes affect the emotional state of the expectant mother. The hormonal system is reconstructed, progesterone is intensively produced. This hormone is necessary for the normal course of pregnancy. But at the same time, it has a depressing effect on the psyche: dissatisfaction with oneself and loved ones, nervousness, tearfulness, depression, and anxious thoughts appear. This explains the frequent mood swings during pregnancy.
Lactation
Breastfeeding mothers may experience the so-called “dysphoric milk ejection reflex.” A woman puts her baby to her breast, and at the moment before the milk comes in, negative emotions fall on her. During feeding, the mother experiences physical discomfort (tingling in the chest, sometimes quite painful). But it “covers” her not from touching the breast and pain, but precisely before feeding. And this is also explained by hormonal surges: in order for milk to enter the breast, the level of dopamine (the pleasure hormone) must decrease and the level of prolactin (the hormone responsible for milk) must increase. [4]
Menopause
Sharp mood swings in women during menopause are the most externally noticeable symptom of menopause. As in the case of PMS, the variable emotional state here is a consequence of natural processes in the female body. But if before menstruation the changes last a week or a week and a half, then during menopause this period is much longer - from one and a half to several years. [5]
Take a nap
An experiment by Dr. Matthew Walker proved that without the right amount of sleep, people become more pessimistic and react more to negative stimuli.
The experiment involved sleep-deprived students who had to remember a series of words. They remembered an 81% percentage of words with a negative connotation, such as cancer. And remembering another list of words, with a positive connotation, they were able to name only 41% of the words.
This may be because negative stimuli are processed in the amygdala, while positive and neutral stimuli are processed in the hippocampus.
Lack of sleep has a stronger impact on the hippocampus than on the amygdala, so people who don't get enough sleep are quicker to forget good events and more likely to remember bad ones.
Red curtain effect
We all imagine a stage and a beautiful heavy curtain - often red. And here you are standing backstage, getting ready to perform like an artist. Attention! The curtain opens! The curtains moved together in different directions to show you something new. You are on stage - and the script of the play is entirely your own. What do you have in mind for all the best things for yourself? Such a curtain can be opened every morning, or it can be opened in a situation when you want to change something. Just open it up and play the best version of yourself.
If you are cold, act warmer...
That's all for today, ways to decide what to do if you ruin your mood. I remain with the hope that I somehow managed to raise it for you. I wish you not to get stuck in situations that are uncomfortable for you and slowly get out into the light. No matter what happens, the light always remains on for you.
Enjoy a cup of tea
Neuropsychologist Rick Hanson, author of Hardwiring Happiness, argues that noticing and focusing on pleasant little things is a way to “train” the brain to feel happiness.
10 seconds of a beautiful view outside the window, 20 seconds of pleasure from tea and chocolate, and you have already tuned your brain to good stimuli.
In general, we are accustomed to reacting much more strongly to negative stimuli than to positive ones. This is explained by the desire to ensure security. However, now such attitudes “from the Stone Age” do not so much help you survive as they prevent you from feeling happy.
And you can completely change the habit of concentrating on bad events by “reconfiguring” your brain to other stimuli - positive ones. To do this, you need to pay attention to positive events, happiness and pleasure.
Mood swings in teenagers
“I don’t know how to talk to my son... He can change as if on a click: he was just calmly helping me put things on the table, and five minutes later he jumps up from the table and locks himself in his room. And I have no influence on what happens to him.”
— Irina, mother of a 13-year-old teenager
Mood swings in adolescents are also explained by physiological reasons. At the age of 10–13 years, a teenager’s appearance begins to change rapidly, and these changes do not occur gradually, but in sharp leaps. The body changes: first the palms and feet stretch, then the arms, legs, and only then the shoulders and hips tighten. Everything happens so quickly that a teenager can notice something new in himself literally every day. What happens is not always clear and pleasant. The teenager does not know when these changes will end, what they will lead to, or how to relate to them. This causes natural anxiety and confusion.
During this period, the teenager’s personality is just being formed; he is very dependent on assessments and outside opinions, and is sensitive to criticism, especially when someone talks about his appearance. Even those comments from parents that are made with good intentions can traumatize him. Relationships with peers, their jokes and caustic remarks add fuel to the fire. [6] Parents should be as sensitive as possible when communicating with a teenager: speak frankly and explain that every adult experienced the peculiarities of this period of life, offer their support and help, but do not insist on it. Quarrels and scandals between parents during this period are especially painful for the child. Teenagers copy self-regulation skills and behavioral techniques from their parents. Therefore, it is important to create a comfortable, calm environment for him. Mood swings during adolescence are generally normal. However, sometimes they can be the first signals of serious problems, the resolution of which will require the help of a psychologist.
You should pay attention to your teenager's behavior and contact a specialist if the following manifestations become severe and frequent:
- eating disorders (overeating, refusal to eat, preference for eating the same foods);
- auto-aggression (inflicting pain on oneself: wounds, cuts, burns);
- open expression of hatred towards oneself and one's body;
- cruelty towards other people and animals;
- defiant and aggressive behavior;
- decreased discipline and performance at school;
- forgetfulness and absent-mindedness;
- inability to concentrate;
- alcohol consumption;
- impulsive behavior;
- increased fatigue;
- attacks of panic and fear;
- sleep disturbance (constant drowsiness or insomnia due to mood swings);
- the appearance of phobias (fear of darkness, silence, loneliness and others). [7]
Sign up to volunteer
Dr Suzanne Richards from the University of Exeter analyzed about 40 studies over the past 20 years that related to volunteering and happiness. It turned out that volunteers almost never experience depression and feel great.
Scientists believe this is due to several factors:
- Volunteers' level of physical activity increases. The activity takes place far from home, you have to walk, stand, work with your hands, etc.
- Volunteers have more live communication and the opportunity to make friends. Eye contact, smiling - real social interactions improve mood.
- Good deeds, as we already indicated in point No. 5, help you feel happier.
Should I take vitamins?3
If depression drags on, the reason may be a simple lack of vitamins. Solving this situation is very simple - you just need to consult a doctor and purchase a suitable multi-complex.
This is especially important for residents of northern cities, those where the sun almost never appears. A bad mood can be caused by a lack of vitamins D, C, A and E. However, you should not prescribe them yourself; to make sure that the cause of your bad mood lies precisely in the lack of vitamins, you should get tested.
The best dietary supplement is blueberries; they are sold without a prescription.
More sex
The report by Nick Dridakis, an employee of the Institute for Labor Research, presented interesting results of the experiment.
It turns out that people who have sex at least four times a week are happier and more confident, they reason better and suffer less from sad moods.
In addition, sex has a positive effect on health, relieves stress, strengthens the cardiovascular and immune systems. And the feeling of happiness and health are closely related.
