The article explains:
- Basic positive emotions
- Simple instructions on how to start enjoying life every day
- 9 simple ways to enjoy life every day
- Advice from a psychologist on how to enjoy life every day
Since enjoying life every day can sometimes be very difficult, people came up with the myth of black and white stripes. But there is a third option, when one day is similar to another, and they merge into a series of gray identical events, and breaking out of this circle is not so easy.
Some people start living from weekend to weekend, hanging out with friends and family, and then falling back into routine. But there are also those who learn to see something interesting in every day, to find amazing things nearby, here and now. Yes, it may be difficult at first, but you quickly get used to the good things. Our material offers effective tips on how to enjoy life every day. Arm yourself with them and dare.
Fight depression with exercise
Science has long proven why physical exercise is necessary in our daily lives.
Research cited in The Happiness Advantage also confirms the importance of exercise for happiness. In this study, patients with depression were divided into three groups. People in the first group were treated with medications, those in the second with exercise, and the third group were returned to normal life by combining medications with exercise.
After six months, patients in all three groups were examined for relapses. And this is what the results were. Of those who took medication alone, 38% became depressed again. In the group that received combination therapy, the relapse rate was slightly lower - 31%. The group treated with exercise alone showed the best results: relapses occurred in only 9% of people.
This study clearly shows that exercise is the best way to combat depression.
Here is another studyK. M. Appleton. 6 × 40 mins exercise improves body image, even though body weight and shape do not change / Journal of Health Psychology, which also shows that people who take care of their bodies and are in good physical shape feel happier.
The benefits of physical exercise are undeniable. So why wait? Start training today. Start small and make it a habit to exercise every day.
Joy as an emotion
From a physiological point of view, joy is a state associated with the activation of a set of brain structures called the reward system. The changes that occur in it under the influence of external stimuli cause a feeling of pleasure.
This mechanism has evolved to increase the likelihood of behavior that is potentially beneficial to humans. Emotions outpace thoughts, allowing you to make quick decisions . This is beneficial, for example, in moments of danger.
In our time, when human needs have become “more elevated” than thousands of years ago, and decision-making circumstances have become extremely complex, focusing solely on emotions does not always bring the desired results.
Nevertheless, emotions remain an understandable and reliable “compass” that makes it easier to navigate the sea of possibilities and recognize your true needs.
Joy is an emotional state that appears in circumstances that are positive for the individual—situations that are useful, safe, and pleasant. Decisions made with joy are accompanied by a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment. They give energy and self-confidence.
It's foolish to underestimate the importance of getting enough sleep
We spend about a third of our lives sleeping, so it would be foolish to underestimate the impact sleep has on our entire lives. Here's an interesting study from 2011 that showed An afternoon nap tunes out negative emotions, tunes in positive ones / Research Digest / British Psychological Society how sleep affects happiness.
The conclusion drawn from the study is that people who sleep in the afternoon are less susceptible to negative emotions and more sensitive to positive ones.
We all know that if we don't get enough sleep or don't sleep well at all, we have emotional problems. At the same time, good, full sleep puts us in a positive mood, we are alert and feel great.
What is the joy of life
Joy, which initially served to increase the chances of survival, over time became an end in itself for people. A person, when making a choice, is not always guided by what gives him pleasure, but his highest goal in life, most often, is to achieve happiness, which is closely related to the feeling of joy from life.
Paradoxically, joy from life is not a state in which there is a correspondence between reality and the stated needs and goals of the individual. Some people are able to experience joy regardless of variables that are not always favorable to them . Many, however, do not enjoy life, even if they achieve their goals and satisfy their desires.
The joy of life is a much more complex state than a constant feeling of pleasure in connection with the successes achieved. For a modern person, compassion is a skill - it can be learned, but also lost.
Stop looking at your phone and using other gadgets too often
At Kent State University they conducted A. Lepp, J. E. Barkley, A. C. Karpinski. The relationship between cell phone use, academic performance, anxiety, and satisfaction with life in college students / Computers in Human Behavior study, during which 500 students were surveyed. The results were as follows: students who frequently use a mobile phone perform worse in their studies, have increased levels of anxiety, and feel less happy.
Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., a licensed clinical psychologist and professor of psychology at California State University, believes that people spend too much time on gadgets without leaving time for simple face-to-face interactions.
This can also explain the increased level of anxiety. Young people are afraid of missing news from their virtual friends, so they pick up the gadget again and again. Thus, it is difficult for them to live a normal life of their own.
Aristotle also believed that the main thing is moderation in everything. Mobile phones and other gadgets are no exception, no matter how innovative they may be.
Basic positive emotions
When you look through information and photos on social networks, you notice that most of them are full of positive events and emotions. Comparing your everyday life with the life of “those on social networks” leads people to disappointing results. Then they realize that they are “on the sidelines.” And such awareness can occur at any age and lead to a deterioration in mood. And what about me? Why is it not like that for me? Maybe these are fakes? After all, life is not a continuous holiday.
The fact is that on social networks people tend to share some significant events in their lives. These are moments when they are overwhelmed with positive, joyful emotions. And they want to share them, to make people involved in what is happening.
Someone in such a situation feels envy, while others understand that they also have the opportunity to organize their own holiday. In their own way, in a different way, but these are their happy moments in which they will experience joy.
Learning to smile and enjoy every day is not so easy. Some people don’t need this; for those who don’t want to change, everything suits them. But there are others. They want to live life to the fullest. And this is possible, if there is a desire. But that is not all. In addition to desire, hard work of the soul is required. This path is not so easy, but the one who walks will master the road. And be prepared for the fact that some of the people around you, and maybe all of them, will gradually begin to move away from you. With their departure, the vacated space will be filled by new people and new opportunities.
Switch to seeing the positive even in a negative moment in your life. Of course, if a negative approach has entered your flesh and blood, then it will take a lot of strength to turn your consciousness 180 degrees.
Spend more time with loved ones
You may have heard about this before.
“Didn’t spend enough time with family and friends” - this is what people most often regret Top five regrets of the dying / The Guardian people on their deathbed. If we spend time with people close to us, if we take care of them, then we ourselves become happier.
Dan Gilbert
Professor of Psychology at Harvard University.
We are happy when we have a family. We are happy when we have friends. And everything else that we think makes us happy are just ways and means of finding family and friends.
Behavior model of a cheerful person
Striving to feel the feeling of joy in life is inherent in each of us. Just living is not bad. And when
existence is filled with joy, prosperity, it is completely happy. Who doesn’t want this life for themselves?
Often a certain event or phenomenon awakens this positive feeling in a person, but it quickly passes, giving way to slight sadness followed by fading joy.
Joy is a feeling of pleasure, admiration, comfort, relaxation, inner satisfaction and well-being.
Read our article “Breathing practices: characteristic features of basic techniques.”
You can be happy about even the smallest little things if you learn to be grateful. True bliss is given to those who know how to truly appreciate life as they have it here and now. A person who is independent of other people’s opinions acts and lives without looking back or thinking about failures. And he manages to successfully realize all his goals and dreams. He finds happiness and is filled with joy from what he has done.
You should not betray yourself, your beliefs, and also act decently towards others under any conditions. The Universe will definitely reward you for this. You should not complain about fate and doubt your abilities. It is better to decide to take a step and perhaps even make a mistake, than to retreat and regret that you did not take advantage of the chance to be happy.
A positive attitude helps you achieve what you want. Anyone who doubts, sees everything in black, is what he gets in his life. He believes that everything around him is against him, so there is no “smell” of joy here.
Why should you rejoice in the success of others?
In this case, envy prevents you from experiencing joy. With this negative feeling you can easily destroy yourself from the inside. It devastates and gives nothing but irritation and anger. You cannot submit to envy. It is better to strive for your own well-being, to be inspired by examples of happy and successful people. They are truly worthy of respect and inheritance. This is a very difficult path, but the game is worth the candle. Having overcome all obstacles, you will be able to achieve your goal and get decent results. And you will definitely be pleased to see those around you with whom you can share your joy, and not envious people.
Where does the feeling of joy come from?
Each of us can have different sources of joy. They come in material and spiritual planes.
Some people become happy if they acquire:
- expensive clothes, jewelry, etc. It is important for them to buy something or plan acquisitions, to spend time and effort to find something new, exclusive;
- new gadgets. Adults are as happy with them as children. It's like buying a new, long-awaited toy;
- real estate. Everyone wants to have their own cozy corner;
- automobile. This could be a cherished dream. It is important that the purchased car brings benefit and pleasure, and not just waste.
Others get spiritual joy from a change in weather, a sunny day or rain, as well as sitting around a fire or a charming landscape, beautiful flowers, etc. Each of us is individual in character and perception. These people value nature more, connecting with it much more than buying real estate or moving up the career ladder. This helps them in difficult life situations.
It is important to value equally everything that brings joy to a person. If you lose one of the parts, you will not be able to succeed in the other. Happiness and fun will definitely settle in your life if you appreciate every little thing, even the shortest pleasant moments.
Take yourself for a walk as often as possible
Sean Achor, a lecturer at Harvard University and author of The Happiness Advantage, believes that if you spend at least 20 minutes outside in good weather, you will not only lift your mood, but also improve your working memory and be more productive. productivity to generate new ideas.
Another study conducted at the London School of Economics and Political Science also confirms this. MacKerron, S. Mourato. Happiness is greater in natural environments / Global Environmental Change. The study found that fresh air and a warm sunny day by the sea is an ideal place for most people. Study participants note that they feel much happier this way than in an urban environment.
If you're wondering at what temperature outside people feel happier, you'll be surprised to learn that it's 13.9°C (13.9°C, according to a study by Y. Tsutsui. Weather and individual happiness / Weather, Climate, and Society of the American Meteorological Society).
How to learn to enjoy life and be positive
Anyone interested in learning how to enjoy life should pay attention to children. It is children who know how to rejoice every day, to notice the positive in literally everything, in every little thing. Their sincere and ringing laughter charges their parents and other people with positive energy. They have fun when the first snow falls, when a picnic is planned, etc. The child is simply a model for someone who wants to be a happy, positive optimist.
A child always shows his joy sincerely. Adults should learn this from children. They also recommend turning to memories of your childhood and what could have made you happy then.
When a person begins to feel the emotion of joy, the neurons of his brain produce happiness hormones (endorphins). Their level can be increased:
- chocolate;
- listening to pleasant music, watching a good movie;
- refusal or minimization of communication with pessimists, stopping the perception of bad news;
- creative activity;
- comedy videos, funny stories from life;
- remembering moments filled with joy;
- planning a pleasant pastime, a fun holiday, etc.
Only strong personalities manage to be cheerful and please other people, no matter what, even in difficult situations. It’s possible to become like this, but it’s very difficult.
When we are filled with joy, we work and devote ourselves to the maximum, and are also able to “infect” other people with this state. But without effort and self-development it is impossible to achieve a state of cheerfulness. It’s a huge job to carry within yourself all your life and give others joy, kindness, and happiness.
Give at least two hours a week to others
You might be surprised to learn that you may feel happier spending money on others than purchasing something for yourself.
In 2012, L. was held. B. Aknin, E. W. Dunn, M. I. Norton. Happiness runs in a circular motion: Evidence for a positive feedback loop between prosocial spending and happiness / Journal of Happiness Studies study, the participants of which were divided into two groups. Each group of participants was given money. The first group was asked to spend it on themselves, and the second group was asked to spend it on buying things for other people. According to the study, people who made purchases for others felt much happier than those who spent money solely on themselves.
It is not surprising that among millionaires and billionaires there are so many who are involved in charity. This helps people feel happier.
Helping others does not necessarily mean spending money on others. You can become, for example, a volunteer. Here is a study conducted in Switzerland that proves S. Meier, A. Stutzer. Is volunteering rewarding in itself? : Volunteering to help others allows you to be more satisfied with your life.
So how much time do you need to devote to other people? The authors of the Buffer blog concluded that this requires 100 hours per year (or two hours per week). This is the best time to devote to helping others so that you yourself can become happier.
Family
People who have a strong, friendly, loving family can much more easily endure adversity, difficulties, and conflict situations encountered in the aggressive outside world. Such people endure failures steadfastly, drawing strength from their family. A close-knit family is our rear, support and reliable shelter from life’s storms. Everyone has the opportunity to create a harmonious family by finding a congenial person with whom they have the same aspirations, moral principles and uniting goals. You should not look for an unattainable ideal; you can find a physically attractive and spiritually close person next to you - at the institute, at work, in the neighborhood. Having created a family, given birth to charming babies, enjoy life. The reasons to enjoy life are different, but a loving family, perhaps, comes first in this hierarchy.
Don't neglect meditation
You've probably heard that meditation is very beneficial. It helps you be alert, focused, calm and, you guessed it, happy.
A group of scientists from Massachusetts studied B. K. Hölzel, J. Carmody et al. Mindfulness leads practice to increases in regional brain gray matter density / Psychiatry Research the effect of meditation on a person. Participants in the experiment meditated for eight weeks, after which they became calmer and more inclined to self-knowledge and compassion.
Favorite hobby
The reasons to enjoy life come from the little things. For example, having a hobby brings a person many joyful moments, it will allow you to escape from everyday life, completely immerse yourself in your hobby, and relax your soul. If you don't have a hobby yet, it's never too late to start one. Think about what your soul is drawn to, what you do with pleasure. This could be collecting, growing plants, handicrafts, drawing or writing poetry. Sometimes a hobby can become the basis of a business and generate income. In any case, what you do with passion and enthusiasm will bring you high spirits and inspiration.
Be grateful for every little thing
Be grateful for everything good that other people do for you, for everything that is in your life. Many studies prove R. A. Emmons, M. E. McCullough. Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that gratitude has the most positive effect on a person’s life.
So be grateful for every little thing in your life, and remember that there are many people in the world who are not as lucky as you.
Difficult level: put yourself first
If a person does not have such experience, then it is unlikely that he will be able to immediately take and apply this advice. And that's okay.
Thinking about yourself more than others is not easy. This is often mistaken for selfishness. To begin with, again, you can observe yourself. This will help you understand in what cases the desires of others are higher than your own.
How to stop fulfilling other people's requests to the detriment of yourself - article in Yours
Katya, 22:
— I have anxious parents: they worry when I’m not in the mood, and regularly ask why I’m sad.
My mother is especially afraid: she thinks I’m depressed. Because if there is no depression, then I should be happy and spin Oleg Gazmanov’s wheel. At first, I tried to explain the reasons for my calm or sad mood: for example, I was tired at school. But such explanations did not reassure my mother. I had to answer additional questions and prove that I did not have suicidal thoughts. Sometimes I explained that it was a matter of grades, but my parents answered that this was a trifle that was not worth worrying about. I had to assent and imitate joy.
I started pretending that everything was fine, and one day I burst into tears in class for no reason. The school psychologist suggested discussing this. I explained that it’s convenient to have good emotions - everyone around you thinks you’re cool and doesn’t bother you with questions, but sometimes it’s very difficult for me to pretend.
Now I know that it is my parents who need to work on their emotions, and not force me to be happy when they want. I'm learning to say no and trying to think about myself. This is very difficult, especially with my mother. But progress is already visible.
Another advanced way is to find something enjoyable to do. This is not easy, if only because many are simply not accustomed to this. It’s also difficult for a person to find time for himself when he has children, work and other things to do.
Often the first time it is not possible to understand what you like and what to do. Then keeping a diary, observing yourself, and trying out different options can help with this. And if it doesn’t work out, well, okay, but you tried. It's normal if a person doesn't have a hobby.
Life experience. Not things!
Everyone knows that money can't buy happiness. However, many people continue to buy meaningless, expensive trinkets instead of gaining unforgettable experiences and invaluable life experiences. A recent study has provenA. Kumar, M. A. Killingsworth, T. Gilovich. Waiting for Merlot: Anticipatory consumption of experiential and material purchases / Psychological Science that people who are accustomed to investing money in travel and other activities that help gain invaluable experience, rather than in unnecessary things, feel much happier.
Love
A happy life is certainly associated with the ability to love yourself and feel loved. Love gives joy, inspires a person, fills him with happiness, he wants to fly to the skies, the whole world seems bright and sparkling. It gives a person self-confidence and awakens hidden capabilities and talents. If there is someone in life whom we love, then this is already a significant reason for happiness. The reasons to enjoy life are within ourselves. In general, the concept of love should be considered more broadly, by the ability to love we understand not only the feelings that we experience for the opposite sex, but also warm love for family and friends, reverent love for animals, for nature, sublime love for art.
Love yourself
Based on one very long, almost 80-year-old Harvard study, Good genes are nice, but joy is better / The Harvard Gazette, it was revealed that love is all a person needs to be happy. Love for others, love for oneself, love for God - in a word, love in all its manifestations.
Self-love is something that modern society has almost forgotten about. Many people eat all sorts of crap and do not exercise at all to keep their bodies in good shape. Well, it's time to fix that.
When "everything is bad"
People have a negative bias, a tendency in the mind to focus on the bad - because it is easier to understand the problem and solve it.
To maintain that same emotional balance, you can learn to shift your focus. And it's not that simple. A person’s emotions are influenced by his perception of the situation, which can be distorted: some tend to exaggerate or downplay the significance of an event, some rush to conclusions, and some take any statements personally. Because of such distortions, emotions may not correspond to the situation.
- There are three colleagues - Katya, Masha and Dima. They were called to the next office to celebrate Vova’s birthday. Katya thinks: “Cool! I’ll go congratulate the person and chat with everyone” - she rejoices at the opportunity to communicate with other people and share Vova’s holiday.
- Masha thinks: “Well, that means I’ll have to eat cake. Okay, then we'll eat vegetables for dinner. I just wanted stewed cabbage,” she’s glad that she figured out how to enjoy it now and what to do with herself at home.
- Dima thinks: “But we were just celebrating someone’s birthday! I have a lot of work to do, I just concentrated, and now I need to go waste time. Because of them, I always don’t get anything done,” he became upset and angry because he couldn’t refuse.
- And Vova sees a dissatisfied Dima and thinks: “He’s the one who’s angry with me, I need to try to cheer him up,” he feels guilty before Dima.
The situation itself was neutral, but everyone reacted differently.
Irina, 32:
“I had everything that friends and parents considered a sign of success: a husband, two children, work as a publisher in Moscow, frequent travel, many acquaintances.
One day I was invited to be a speaker at an international conference of book publishers. But instead of joy, I felt fear and shame for deceiving everyone. My achievements did not seem significant enough to share with others.
Then I noticed that I was not happy with my small achievements, that I only noticed large and complex goals. I constantly challenged myself, and when I achieved them, I didn’t feel the happiness I expected, I got upset and set myself a new challenge.
I went to a psychologist and asked for help to learn to enjoy any achievements and not feel tired and disappointed. Now I understand that I was simply running away from sadness and asking to be taught not to feel emotions.
I go to psychotherapy, work with beliefs, learn to notice emotions and feel sorry for myself. And it's still difficult for me. I’m used to the fact that you can just take it and do it - well, big deal, I don’t want to, but it has to be done!
Six months later, I began to value myself more. I still sometimes feel like I’m a bad specialist, but I already know how to notice this and support myself.
There are many ways to learn to please yourself. For convenience, we have divided them by difficulty.
How to find your reasons for happiness?
Responsibility
First of all, you need to understand that only you are responsible for your well-being. And no one else has to figure out how to please you. Yes, even parents and family partners. If only because no person can guess what you want at the moment, especially if he is deprived of extrasensory abilities. So you need to make an effort on your own and try to figure it out, constantly listening to yourself and your desires.
Distribution
Distribute some unimportant but pleasant tasks for each day. No matter how busy your everyday life is, you simply must find time for yourself, your relaxation. So take a calendar and plan, let it be a trip to the cinema on the 1st, and a visit to the massage therapist on the 2nd, come up with it yourself, but everything should be clear in the diary.
Take action
If people, every time they came up with some worthwhile ideas, turned them into reality, there would be a lot fewer unhappy, unsuccessful and depressed individuals in the world. Therefore, learn not just to dream, but to immediately take some steps towards realizing what you want.
List
Make your own list of pleasures. Let them be simple, for example, like the smell of a just lit match, or a crack in the asphalt in the shape of a heart near a house, but they are quite real and easily achievable.
Listen to your heart
That is, you should not be guided by the tastes and preferences of other people, even significant ones, do what you like. Value your life, so don’t tolerate and pretend, but allow this luxury of being yourself. So go on this great journey of self-discovery and exploration. Try different foods, listen to different styles of music, look for what will delight you, and if you find such things, moments, take care of them.
Measure
There must be moderation in everything. If you eat your favorite red caviar every day, the hour will come when you will begin to feel sick at the sight of it. So you need to control the dosage, and to make it easier, you need to have a large number of pleasant little things in stock.
Depreciation
You know, it is important to be able not only to discover small joys, but also not to devalue them, especially when they cease to surprise and give pleasure. To get more information on how to achieve harmony on your own, you can read the article “14 tips to live happily and enjoy life.”
Availability of animals
Animals bring a lot of positive emotions to people. They are capable of love. Communication with them calms, relaxes, adds reasons to enjoy life, in some cases animals cure diseases. If possible, get a pet; caring for it will give you a sense of pleasure and necessity. You can simply visit the zoo and get fresh impressions. Communication with animals will not leave anyone indifferent; the sight of funny, somewhat funny little animals, so similar to us, will make you laugh and calm you down.
Trips
At first glance, traveling is expensive. Is it so? Not only seaside resorts, European castles, and exotic islands deserve our attention. You can visit inexpensive, beautiful places where there is picturesque nature, majestic mountains, small rivers, lakes and fresh air. The main thing is the desire to travel, the craving for new places and exciting experiences. A change of place is always pleasant memories, an emotional shake-up. The accumulated positive charge will give strength in everyday work.
Psychology of Leadership
Discussion: 4 comments
- Milena:
A relevant article, because now many people have simply forgotten how to enjoy life, becoming fixated on material wealth and forgetting the simple truth that money does not buy happiness. More precisely, they are not the only ones, because there are other reasons to be grateful for your life and the world around you, which provide reasons to smile every day.
Answer
- Tatiana:
For me, the main joy in life is of course my family: parents, husband and children. We love to spend time together: hiking, forest, fishing. We feel good together. You should be happy with everything that surrounds you.
Answer
- RomanB:
The main thing is the ability to enjoy ordinary things. All the houses are healthy - great. Having money for beer and pizza or ice cream is great. Why dream about yachts and the Bahamas?
Answer
- pomadka:
I think the best way to add a little happiness to your life is to travel, new emotions, a change of scenery will benefit anyone. Children and pets, of course, bring a lot of happiness, but sometimes you are so tired that you don’t have enough time for them. I want to lie down and relax. The opportunity to work, I think that it is very rare for a person to do what he likes and brings happiness; those who succeed are the lucky ones.
Answer
Holidays
To relieve irritation and tension, it can be useful to arrange a small holiday for yourself - organize a party or visit a club. Music, dancing, light flirting will allow you to relax and plunge into a magical atmosphere. This is probably why everyone is looking forward to the holidays, which allow them to get away from problems. If the calendar holiday is far away, you can organize it yourself - set the table beautifully, invite your best friends, cook your favorite dishes. The party will give you delightful emotions and enchanting impressions.
Thus, although we are not given the opportunity to know the nature of happiness, each of us can identify for ourselves reasons to enjoy life and become happy in our own way.
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