How to get out of depression after losing your job: advice from psychologists
Depression that occurs after losing a job deprives an individual of the ability to think sensibly and act logically. Once captured by frustration, a person is deprived of the strength to take constructive measures to change his unemployed status. It is impossible to eliminate the signs of depression on your own, so the necessary step is to consult an experienced doctor. Treatment of affective disorders is carried out by three specialists: a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist and a psychologist.
In severe cases of a depressive episode and a risk of suicidal behavior, it is recommended to place the patient in the inpatient department of a psychiatric clinic. Only in a hospital setting is it possible to quickly relieve depressive symptoms, constantly monitor the patient’s condition, and make timely adjustments to the treatment program. Medical supervision helps prevent aggravation of the disorder and makes suicide attempts impossible.
The basis of drug treatment is antidepressants of the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor class. Most often, thymoleptics with a stimulating effect are used, since after losing a job a person experiences motor and mental retardation. Modern antidepressants demonstrate an effect within two weeks from the start of use. All depressive symptoms gradually fade away. The subject returns to normal mood. He is no longer overcome by depressing thoughts. He feels a surge of strength and gains the desire to act. Treatment with antidepressants is carried out for three months to six months. It is strictly forbidden to independently change the prescribed dosage or interrupt the course of treatment. During antidepressant therapy, it is not recommended to drink alcohol.
In parallel with drug treatment, individual psychotherapy is carried out. The doctor helps the patient to impartially examine his personal history, give an objective assessment of his existing skills and knowledge, and consider the characteristics of his character from the outside. The psychotherapist guides the client to identify components of thinking and behavior that act as an obstacle to employment in a stable company and building a successful career. The doctor helps the patient eliminate harmful stereotyped thoughts, replacing them with functional ideas. The result of psychotherapy is getting rid of the burden of the past: a person becomes a person free from past mistakes. He realizes his true goals and becomes capable of taking consistent actions.
Psychological correction is aimed at forming a correct assessment of one’s own personality in a depressed patient. A psychologist helps a person identify his strengths and identify his weaknesses. The specialist assists the client in fully accepting his individuality, abilities and talents. The psychologist suggests how it is necessary to interact with society in order to become a sought-after and authoritative person. We recommend psychologist Irakli Pozharisky psyhoterapy.info
How to get out of depression after losing your job? When faced with an unexpected dismissal, psychologists advise not to panic and act without haste and fuss. To adapt to new living conditions and not become a prisoner of severe depression, you need to:
- do not keep painful experiences inside yourself, try to get rid of negative emotions by expressing your feelings out loud or writing them down on paper;
- do not abuse alcoholic beverages, try to eat healthy natural foods;
- start looking for a job immediately after dismissal, contact employment services, recruitment agencies, post your resume on specialized websites;
- maintain the same rhythm and routine of the day, get up and go to bed at the usual hours;
- take care of your own appearance, take care of your body;
- spend free time on acquiring new knowledge and honing skills;
- try your hand at previously unknown areas, master new skills;
- take time to improve your health, undergo a medical examination, visit a dentist, sign up for a massage;
- do not isolate yourself, actively communicate with friends and former colleagues;
- do not neglect offers of temporary or remote work, while continuing to search for other vacancies.
Depression after losing a job is a serious disorder, but with a sincere desire to change your life for the better and quality medical care, it is possible to return a person to normal functioning.
Milk and butter
Self-pity is the main inhibitor and the main torment of the unemployed. This feeling can never be fruitful; it only drains strength. It is known that patients who wallow in it have less chance of recovery. It's even worse with work.
Next to this unproductive feeling is the question “why” and endless replaying of the situation of dismissal, as well as what happened before it, how wonderful and pleasant it was to work in a reliable office under the leadership of a sensitive boss. Such mental behavior is typical for any trauma: a person gets stuck in the horror he has experienced, walks in an endless circle and never wants to break out of it. The task of the psychologist in this case is to pull him out of there, return him to life, which moves forward, no matter what.
I knew a man who was fired from a good job due to alcoholism. His profession was in great demand on the market, but he did not want another job. He wanted exactly the same - down to the smallest detail. Since this was impossible, my uncle simply did not work, sat on the neck of his retired mother and moaned, remembering all the delights of his former place of service. And he continued to drink.
Another case. My husband and I came to see my mother – the one “for an hour.” Young, fast, handy and too intelligent for a “husband.” Mom was touched, offered him a cup of coffee, and asked: “What is your profession?” “Actually, he’s a translator,” the guest answered cheerfully and listed several languages. - Worked there and there. A year ago I was laid off due to redundancy. I'm spinning." We nodded sympathetically. "Yes you! – our husband exclaimed. - It's not a problem. That is, there was a small one, when for some time I had to sit completely without money. And this is not the worst thing. I have my hands, my head is with me, I definitely won’t die of hunger, and even in Moscow!”
We then called the polyglot several times to perform various tasks - in private. And one day they called, he answered: “I would love to, but tomorrow I’m going on a business trip. To China". Now he is purchasing equipment for some company and no longer travels around Moscow with a hammer drill. It's a pity, good master...
Here, of course, I recall the textbook parable about two frogs caught in a can of milk. Do you know what's most amazing about it? It is impossible to cream butter from plain milk. First, you need to separate the cream from it with a separator - and turn it into a solid substance. But the victorious frog did not suspect this, and she did not even think about the oil. She just kept moving.
TK: dismissal. The legislative framework
Any dismissal must be based on Article 80 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Be sure to familiarize yourself with this law and read all the amendments that have been made to it.
If the case is complex, then it would be useful to contact a lawyer. You must make sure that everything is happening according to the law and the boss is not trying to deceive you by not paying the required compensation. In a stressful situation, people rarely think about the legal side of the matter, as they are in a phase of denial or anger. And when emotions become dull, it is too late to demand something. If you yourself cannot understand the legal intricacies, turn to your loved ones for help.
Inside a thorny ball
One day I went to buy a pie during lunch break, and when I returned, the boss gave me a blank sheet of paper and began dictating a letter of resignation of his own free will. They laid me off. This is called: a blow to the head. How does a person feel at such moments? Yes, probably the same as the one who was hit by a butt. At the same time - everything and nothing.
At first, it is almost impossible to dissect this storm of feelings and thoughts into its component parts. A prickly ball is rushing around inside you, on the surface of which there is a slippery sweat of fear, and it’s scary to look inside. There is a lot of resentment, humiliation, feelings of isolation, question marks. "Why?" "As it is now?" “Why me?”
Should I unwind it, sort it out, indulge in rapturous intellectual reflection? Does this make sense? If we use ascetic terminology, this ball will turn out to be wound from one material: the self (with all its shades and varieties). What's the point of delving into this substance? It’s like a black hole that will absorb all your strength, giving nothing in return - except despondency and depression. After all, there are no answers to your questions. And even if there is, and you can name the names of specific culprits or admit your own guilt, you are not in your power to change anything. This happened. All you have to do is move on with your life. How is up to you.
How to cope with stress
There is no universal cure for bad mood and depression, but a number of basic solutions can be identified that will ultimately bring your condition back to normal. Dismissal is always a stressful factor and the main cause of depression, so in order to survive a stressful situation with minimal losses, you need to adhere to some rules. Symptoms of stress after losing a job can be different - laziness, loss of appetite, irritability, emotional and physical exhaustion, poor mood and well-being.
After being fired, it is not always worth rushing to look for a new job; you will experience even more stress if this cannot be done the first time and in a short time. Sometimes it's better to give yourself time to rest, especially if your previous work was hard and stressful. However, just lying in bed at home and watching TV all day is not an option. Such a rest is unlikely to help you get out of prostration. Don't let yourself freeze in one place. The longer you lie on the bed, the more difficult it will be to get out of it later. Remember, getting out of a state of deep stress is much more difficult; it will be impossible to cope and eliminate all the symptoms of depression on your own and you will have to turn to specialists - psychologists and psychotherapists.
Movement is life
No matter what, take a walk, do physical exercise, move, go shopping, cafes, meet friends and spend more time with your family and friends. Visit those places where you could not go in the past due to being busy at work. This could be a cinema, various municipal institutions, a medical examination at a clinic or a visit to the dentist. Sign up for a swimming pool, fitness or advanced training course. Spend no more than 8 hours a day sleeping.
During this forced rest there will be time to think about what your wishes are for your new job. Do you want to do what you did before or would you like to try something new? Or maybe you have long dreamed of finding a new profession, trying yourself in a new “role”?
Try to find inspiration in everything, watch movies, read books, imagine yourself working in a new interesting position, or dream with pleasure of returning to your old profession, only in a new place. Draw images of your new colleagues in your specialty. All this will help you miss work and start looking for it with renewed vigor. A good method to get rid of emotional stress is to pour out your soul, tell a close friend or relative about your pain, cry, remember everything that worries you, but only once. Tell and forget.
Set yourself in a positive mood
Whatever happens to you, be it loss of a job or any other stressful situation, nothing can be changed, but you will still have to continue living and working. Stop blaming yourself and looking for negative aspects in yourself, pull yourself together and look for only positive aspects in any situation. Remember your strengths, write them down on paper, thereby raising your self-esteem and easily finding a new job. Good specialists are needed always and everywhere, convince yourself that you are a qualified worker, a positive person and an excellent colleague. Even if you don’t manage to find a suitable job the first time, don’t despair, continue searching and working on yourself, then such a cause of stress as losing a job will seem like a trifle to you.
About words and gestures
Now only the lazy will not remember that from Greek the word “crisis” is translated only as “transition period”, and the Chinese character denoting this word consists of two parts: “danger” and “opportunity”. We already went through this in 1992, and in 1998, and in 2008. Anyone who was there has his own life hacks.
Yes, we didn’t even know such words. However, the word “unemployment” itself was for the Soviet man something from a series of abstract concepts: the unknown toothy beast in the cartoons of the Pravda newspaper lives exclusively in the West. But when he came to us, we had to move. Some grabbed the handles of huge checkered bags and flew on a charter flight to get junk to the other end of the earth, some - for a bottle, others - for weapons.
Many simply grabbed their heads with their hands: “What should I do? What to do?" I certainly don’t want to go back there, but it won’t hurt to remember. After all, if we remember, it means we survived. We have invaluable experience. And, hand on heart, if you didn’t take the social elevator to the skies, then at least you climbed a few steps. Or they flew.
The loss of one opportunity is always fraught with the acquisition of another, and therefore growth. But this will happen only when the person himself wants it and does not give up, wring his hands, or grab his head with them.
Look at the problem from a different angle
Constantly telling yourself that life is over after being fired only brings harm. It is not at all necessary to bring everything to apathy and depression.
It’s hardly worth driving yourself into stress that only a psychologist can get you out of.
Forced idleness can easily be turned to your advantage. There are many ways, the main thing is to choose something you like. You can devote time to your needs or immediately rush to look for a new vacancy.
Time to look for a job
Finding your dream job is quite possible. This will not happen right away, however, with the right approach, you can plan your time so that you can get everything done before starting a new job. Estimate the right time and create a budget for this period. Plan all your activities and don't forget about rest and entertainment.
Vacation heals
When apathy towards everything sets in, tourism or a yoga seminar would be an excellent solution. Contact with nature and spiritual practices will help you find harmony. Running in the morning or other physical activity will help. All it takes is a little desire and a wardrobe update. Just a couple of weeks in this mode, and you won’t want to return to a stuffy office.
Start an active job search
After a good rest, you can start looking for the much-desired job with special zeal. To do this, you need to create a thoughtful resume describing your capabilities and knowledge. You should check the labor market situation daily. If possible, you should definitely call employers and find out the details. You will have to go to interviews for some time, as if you were going to a job, and choose the best among the best.
30-minute daily walk
After quitting your job, you should take care of your health. Not everyone is a fan of running, but hardly anyone will object to a regular half-hour walk in the fresh air in the morning. It will distract you from heavy thoughts and allow you to contemplate nature. In the morning the air is as clean as possible due to the small number of cars. After a new job appears, there is hardly time for such a ritual.
Don't forget about physical activity
Physical activity is good for both the body and the brain. Constantly sitting on the couch and sleeping for a long time contributes to the deterioration of mood and health. You don’t have to go to expensive fitness clubs and gyms; home workouts are enough. Morning exercises will help you cheer up and fill you with energy.
Make time for healthy eating
If fate has given you a break, then you need to use it to maximum advantage. Office work involves irregular meals and a lot of coffee. It's time to correct the situation and learn to cook healthy meals. Simple recipes with familiar ingredients are not only delicious, but also help save both time and money.
You should think about a part-time job
Dismissal can be unexpected and may happen at the wrong time. There is no such thing as too much money, so alternative income is a good idea. This will increase self-confidence and help you relax when you are away from your main job. In any case, you don’t have to worry about not having enough money for the most necessary things.
Don't deny yourself some fun
Psychologists advise communicating more with loved ones and friends, having fun together, visiting or meeting interesting people. It’s a good idea to find out what’s on in cinemas and theaters. Friends can give good advice that will help you find a new job.
Deal with things
It is difficult to deal with your problems when work worries you almost 24 hours a day. Dismissal provides an opportunity to finish renovations, fix a faucet, or assemble a shelf that was purchased a couple of months (or years) ago. Any household chores will help take your mind off the fear of being out of work.
Online studies
It’s worth deciding and purchasing a training course in your specialty, self-development or psychology. Knowledge will not be superfluous and will help you stand out from other candidates in pursuit of your dream job. You can master a completely new professional niche if you have been interested in it for a long time.
Are we flying?
Losing a job is certainly a loss, but a special kind of loss. Like any other loss, it leaves an emptiness in its wake. However, this emptiness is tense, saturated with energy, and urgently and not unreasonably requires filling. It has enormous potential and many different opportunities. This is not emptiness, by and large. This is the field of action.
Losing a job is an exciting flight into the unknown. The collective unconscious knows about this: people who often change jobs are called “flyers”... Remember, just recently you couldn’t breathe in the endless routine: home-work-work-home... At least a breath of fresh air, at least a tiny space for maneuver , at least a few hours of free time! All this is at your disposal if you are left without work.
First way
How to cope with the stress of being fired? Psychologists have long proven that the emotional state of a fired person is comparable to the feelings that people experience after betrayal or divorce. Therefore, the consequences, especially for those with a weak psyche, can be very severe, ranging from depression and insomnia to nervous breakdowns. To survive a layoff and stay healthy, you need to follow the tips we present below.
Healing kick
There is an opinion that being unemployed is a shame. But who came up with this axiom? In this case, it is no less shameful, for example, to have the flu during a mass epidemic. Sometimes we are tormented not by the situation itself, but by “what people will say.” Yes, they most likely will not say anything. The worst thing is that they will regret it, but most likely they will try to help.
Personally, I like the element of flight, uncertainty, overcoming and accepting the challenges of fate so much that I don’t want to land. That is why I congratulate those who are in mourning over the work book that was lying in the personnel department. This is ridiculous, gentlemen! Life is given to us once, it is so short! The most interesting thing about it is new experience; this is what athletes, adventurers and sinners are chasing. Only they construct it artificially, and deprivation of work and the search for a new one is a gift from God himself.
Out into the world
Moving is good. But even if you manage to overcome the laziness and apathy of the first days (weeks, months) after dismissal, a reasonable question arises: where to go? To begin with... just for a walk.
Sitting in the office, you probably haven’t wandered the streets for a long time. And there are many large and small points of sale and service, there are sandwich people and couriers, there they hand out newspapers with free advertisements, there are windshield wipers rattling with shovels and public transport is humming. What am I hinting at? Not for anything in particular. It’s simple – life is in full swing, life is varied.
After losing your job, you can try to look at the world around you as if you were looking at a clothing store. Try out the most dull or, on the contrary, outlandish outfits. I could probably do this if I really wanted to, but I couldn’t do this, no way. No one is forcing you to immediately jump into delivering pizza - it's just a game. And even if you decide to participate in it, it, like any other, will not last forever.
Hard times come and go - it's a historical fact. And if you don’t decide, in any case, conduct an autopsychotherapy session. The letters “Emergency Exit” will light up in the surrounding fog. You don’t have to rush there right away, but it’s there, you know that for sure.
Downshifting, or Just a Game
Suppose you were not invited to become either a director or a ballerina, and you will have to get a not very prestigious job. Even if it’s stuck, even if this is really the last option, you can treat shameful work not as humiliation, but as a test or a game. Try to deceive at least those around you, and if you succeed, then yourself.
I remember the concierge at our entrance, sitting in a two-meter square with a tiny window - always with hair done, manicure and a smile. Or a professorial-looking ancient old man with a huge bag on the subway. He called someone on his cell phone and said with dignity: “I’m coming to see you. I'm a courier." The carriage gasped. The ribbons of the holiday packaging were visible from the bag. Grandfather was bringing joy to someone and was quite pleased with it.
You can work playfully, even as a sandwich man. This is not me, this is just my temporary role - such a position can make any work acceptable. And, by the way, the state of unemployment becomes unbearable for many precisely because they identify themselves with their work and measure their worth by career achievements, which is harmful and wrong.
Losing a job is a great time to jump out of this tightly attached fancy dress and think about who you really are, where the real you is hiding.
I am grateful to the months of my forced flights for the fact that they allowed me to try myself in a variety of fields and even get a second higher education. I painted nesting dolls, sold paintings, cooked food, conducted psychological consultations, compiled accounting reports, painted grave fences, was a secretary, stood behind a candle box and transcribed other people's interviews. I not only acquired new skills, but also got the opportunity to understand what I really want to do - and take steps in a given direction. I understood one very important thing: age is not an obstacle to either change or the fulfillment of dreams.
Downshifting is in fashion these days. People of their own free will change their occupations to less prestigious and paid ones, suddenly realizing the eternal childhood truth: “Happiness is not in cakes.” Not everyone decides to make such changes on their own. But what, exactly, is the difference?
I'm looking through my friends. It’s simply amazing how many of them are accomplished people who adore their work and how few are those who methodically walked towards this state. By the age of 40 (give or take five years), the vast majority have undergone major changes in their careers.
Analyze what happened and draw conclusions
Leave your emotions aside and think about why this could happen. Answer yourself honestly whether you have coped well with your responsibilities, whether you have made too many mistakes lately. Perhaps you received a lot of comments from management, but did not listen to them or simply ignored them. Was everything okay in your relationships with your colleagues? Have your actions caused conflicts within the team?
Be sure to draw conclusions from what happened so as not to repeat your mistakes in the future. Remember that even negative experiences can become positive if used correctly.
VICTIM
The fired person constantly cries and complains to others, driving himself more and more into the state of a victim. Thus, he gives the impression of a weak, worthless person who seems to admit that he really deserved the “verdict”.
But you need to understand that if you cultivate this state in yourself, then over time it will become more and more difficult to get out of it. It drags in like a quagmire and forces a person to become more and more accustomed to the role of the victim, to find new words and colors for it, demonstrating to everyone his confusion and helplessness.
Such a “passive” position does not require much effort: you can simply roll down, for the time being, evoking the sympathy of others. And this inevitably leads to a decrease in self-esteem and even self-deprecation.
