Until a few decades ago, girls were taught that their main virtues were modesty and shyness. In the 21st century, these qualities are valued much less. Bright, self-confident women are more likely to achieve success both in their personal lives and in their profession.
How to develop these qualities in yourself that give advantages in society and not become an impudent woman from whom those around you run away? Where is the fine line between a strong personality and a boorish person?
Insolence is a personality trait that allows you to actively and openly speak about your interests and defend your opinion. A daring woman will not hide her eyes and clutch a handkerchief with traces of tears in her hands.
A person with audacity is open and spontaneous, he always directly responds to the requests of other people, and is active in choosing his actions.
Arrogance is expressed in disregard for the feelings of other people. An arrogant person is self-centered, he lacks empathy, and all thoughts and actions are aimed only at satisfying his ego.
Is there a difference between not hurting someone else and not hurting yourself? Of course have. This is the essence of the difference between insolence, based on self-confidence, and insolence, based on the principles of disrespect for other people and disregard for social and moral norms.
An impudent girl will skip the line in any public place. While the daring one will not allow herself to be outdone. An insolent character will not tolerate insults addressed to him; an insolent person will be the first to insult.
The insolent person is indifferent to how others treat him; the pangs of conscience are unknown to him. Up to a certain time, such behavior may bear fruit, but in the end the woman will understand that she is left alone. A worthy person will not be able to put up with rudeness and disdainful attitude for long.
The main quality that will allow you to become successful and happy is self-confidence. It is this personality trait that needs to be developed and strengthened.
Self confidence
If we were talking about a man, then this quality would not be placed in first place among the signs of self-confidence. For a bold and confident woman, understanding external attractiveness is the main feature.
Existing stereotypes impose many characteristics, the possession of which places a girl in the category of beautiful. Any discrepancy with the standard (excess weight, for example) can lower a woman’s self-esteem.
A self-sufficient girl loves herself and considers herself irresistible, regardless of her natural characteristics: with a full figure, short legs, narrow lips. And he loves as a whole, and not in parts. And he will not allow anyone to criticize his external data.
A confident lady can go out without hair and makeup, without hiding her natural face from people. Men do not miss such women and a priori consider them the first beauties.
Strength of Personality
A woman has high self-esteem and an established system of values and principles. Such a person does not try to serve, does not feel reverence for anyone. There is faith in your resources, knowledge and experience.
Ability to negotiate and listen to others
A confident girl calmly perceives any information and analyzes it. If it turns out that the opponent’s point of view is correct, the woman will accept it with gratitude for the experience presented. She will not earn points for herself by belittling another.
Self-sufficiency and responsibility for your life
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Confidence leads to the fact that a woman fully takes responsibility for everything that happens to her. She does not blame her mother, friends or husband for failures and problems. The girl understands that she ended up at this point and in this position thanks to those actions and actions that she herself committed.
The ability to admit a mistake and choose a different direction
You cannot live without falls and failures. A self-sufficient woman knows this. She will analyze her thoughts and actions, find a mistake and correct it. At the same time, such a girl will not engage in self-criticism, realizing that no one is immune from mistakes and the wrong path.
Ability to make quick decisions
A confident girl knows her strengths and weaknesses and the resources available. Therefore, she makes decisions quickly enough, without unnecessary doubts and lengthy hesitations.
Healthy psyche
A rare person is free from fears and complexes that are formed in early childhood and require some work to get rid of them. A self-confident person understands the psychological characteristics of his personality, knows how to accept them, and does not dwell on unpleasant moments.
In what cases is impudent behavior appreciated?
Sometimes people confuse the terms, considering impudence to be synonymous with arrogance and mistakenly believing that behaving impudently means disregarding moral principles and generally accepted norms. It is unlikely that such an attitude will be favorably accepted by society.
But insolence will be assessed positively in healthy manifestations, when a person:
- openly expresses his opinion, but does not break into rudeness and insults;
- boldly opposes injustice, stands up for the unjustly offended;
- knows how to defend his interests, reject dubious proposals, voice the full cost of his work;
- does not cling to painful relationships, does not allow oneself to be humiliated;
- does not give up on his plans if he cannot immediately achieve what he wants, and does not stop trying to achieve the planned result.
But you should always remember that insolence should not look like rudeness and impudence. Arrogance and impudence can help at first in moving up the career ladder, but later it will almost certainly play a cruel joke, because... he who goes over his head is unlikely to have many sincere comrades-in-arms.
In personal life, excessive insolence can also have a negative impact - at first, men are attracted by determination and even some bitchiness.
But when choosing a life partner, they prefer to see next to not an eccentric and capricious beauty, but a reliable friend who will think not only about her own interests, but also take care of her partner.
Brash does not mean brash.
Openly expressing your opinions and needs
A complex, shy girl with low self-esteem is often afraid to openly say what she thinks or refuse a person. A confident woman expresses her needs and openly says what she considers necessary and defends her point of view.
What to do with the appearance?
First of all, you need to understand that each of us is created by nature, the universe, and any standard is just a model of beauty imposed in a particular society. What was considered charming 100 years ago is today regarded as disgusting.
High self-esteem implies acceptance of yourself in any form. Of course, a woman can see her weaknesses, but does not diminish her self-worth because of them.
An objective analysis will help you understand what needs to be corrected at the moment and take the necessary measures to address it. But even before achieving results, you should love and pamper yourself.
For example, a girl wants to lose extra pounds in the abdominal area and decides to limit herself to fast carbohydrates. But she will not consider herself ugly before she gets the result and suffer from weighing herself every day.
What is "arrogance"?
First, let’s figure out what “arrogance” is. In psychological literature, this concept is synonymous with shamelessness, rudeness, and opposition to generally accepted norms. Note that arrogance has nothing to do with determination and self-confidence. Rather, on the contrary, scientific research has proven that it is with the help of rudeness, insolence, and failure to comply with social rules that a person tries to hide his own helplessness and uncertainty. That is, arrogance is nothing more than a defensive reaction, a “mask.” Will such a character trait really help you achieve your desired goals? Or is it better to develop such qualities as diplomacy, determination, and confidence? Each person independently determines the individual tactics of his behavior. Still wondering how to strengthen your character, how to become bolder? If so, below you can find useful tips on how to do this.
Personal care, clothing
Lack of humiliation does not mean that you can neglect the rules of hygiene and basic care procedures. Appearance always matters. “They greet you by their clothes,” remember?
Agree, when there is dirt under your nails and your hair falls like tow on your face, it’s hard to be confident. And people will not perceive such a woman as a strong person. We won’t buy blue chicken in the store with yellow subcutaneous fat.
Clothes for a confident woman are those in which she feels comfortable and appropriate. A girl may love ripped jeans and oversized sweaters, but she understands that for an interview at a large, reputable company, she would be better off wearing pumps and a formal business suit.
Daring girls, as a rule, attract attention with bright accessories, catchy makeup, and a costume with elements of provocation.
Aggression, passivity or assertiveness
Aggressive behavior is the desire to satisfy one's own needs at the expense of other people. The feelings and rights of other people are not important here. We constantly encounter this in everyday life. For example, swearing and insults in queues in hospitals and government offices have become commonplace and have long ceased to cause surprise.
What is passivity or lack of will? Simply put, it means to “bend”, i.e., to adapt and submit to the needs of other people. This is not an expression of one’s own opinion, emotions, or infringement of one’s needs. Why? Because weak-willed people believe that others are more important than them. There are many examples here too. Such people spoil their eyes at work, working many more hours than they should, meekly taking on more and more responsibilities. And they plow until they are completely exhausted. They can be compared to a driven horse that runs and runs without stopping, and then just falls.
How does persistence manifest itself against the background of passivity and aggression? Assertive behavior is always associated with relationships that respect the rights of all parties. Passive-aggressive reactions involve ignoring either your own needs and truths, or those of other people. Assertiveness allows you to simultaneously protect “yourself” and respect others, express your views or say “no” without causing negative emotions such as fear, resentment or anger. Through perseverance, you can defend your rights, beliefs and values while maintaining your individuality and independence.
Posture, ability to hold oneself
A confident woman walks calmly, with a straight back, without waving her arms like a soldier on the parade ground. Her whole figure expresses dignity and readiness to stand up for herself.
Slouching is always perceived as humiliation, a desire to hide from others, or as an oppression of worries and problems. Straight shoulders, beautiful posture, and a proudly raised head reveal a confident and daring woman.
Shyness is emphasized by clasped hands, a downcast gaze, as well as the habit of scratching the nose, ears or fiddling with hair. Try to look your interlocutor in the eyes and keep your palms in front of you.
A confident girl always reflects inner harmony and calm. The best expression of these qualities is a friendly smile. Daring girls do not walk around with a frown and an expression of universal sorrow on their faces.
How to defend your interests
A person with an anal vector, by nature calm, thorough, conscientious, straightforward and truthful, the properties of the skin vector often cause irritation, unless, of course, he has undergone training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. For a principled and honest person with an anal vector, the flexibility of the skinner’s position is perceived as unprincipledness, and his ability to establish useful contacts as arrogance.
It is easier for the owner of the anal vector to do it himself than to ask. He is not a natural commander. His life purpose is to protect women and children, as well as transfer knowledge to the younger generation. He is decent - he won’t take an extra penny. For him, quality is more important than price. For him, an old friend is always better than two new ones. And always measure seven times and cut once.
If a person with an anal vector also has a visual vector, then to the above properties are added impressionability, emotional sensitivity, softness, vulnerability, excessive delicacy, even timidity. If in childhood there were emotional traumas in the visual vector, and grievances in the anal vector, then in adulthood contacts with people will, at best, cause caution.
It is contraindicated for a person with an anal-optic ligament to work as a boss if he does not have a cutaneous or urethral vector. He will not be able to refuse anyone, and he himself will worry that he is being used. He will take the work and personal problems of his employees too seriously, will try to do everything himself and in the end will either fail all the work or will not be able to stand it.
Ability to assert personal boundaries
You should not allow any kind of aggression or disrespect to be shown towards you. You should immediately stop attempts to cross the boundaries beyond which there is personal space.
There is no need to be rude in response to rudeness; you should calmly explain that you will not tolerate such an attitude towards yourself and why.
A self-confident person knows how to refuse, to say “no” if a request contradicts his interests or basic life principles. There is no need to be afraid of seeming like a “bad” girl, only you can decide what actions you are ready to take.
Remember your goals
Direct all your energy towards achieving your goals. If you really want something, do whatever it takes to achieve it. A great desire should help you put aside modesty in order to receive some benefits.
It is important that your values are true, otherwise motivation will not be enough.
Take advantage of every opportunity to get closer to completing your goals. Be determined and take action if life gives you a chance. Otherwise, someone else will take your place, and the benefits that you deserve with your skills and labor will be taken by a more enterprising person.
How long does it take to rebuild a personality?
Don’t think that becoming an independent person will be easy. But if you set yourself a goal and confidently move towards it, without deviating from your plans, then the first results can be seen almost immediately.
It is enough just once, instead of following the lead of others, to express your opinion, refuse an unfavorable offer, speak about your real feelings, and a positive reaction from others will follow.
And every new attempt will strengthen your self-confidence. However, you need to constantly work on yourself - it’s enough to show weakness once, and months, and even years of work can go down the drain, and return your inner mood to its original state.
