The main thing is victory. How to program yourself for success? 20 July 2015, 00:00 | Katya Kozhevnikova
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107 years ago, on July 19, 1908, the English bishop, blessing the Olympics, said: “The main thing is not victory, but participation.” Since then this phrase has become famous. Although many will not agree with her. At all times, people are divided into those who tolerate participation and those who accept only victory. Moreover, the latter usually achieve their goal. After all, in order to win in sports, career and life in general, you need the right psychological attitude. Let's think about whether it is possible to program ourselves to win.
There is such an eastern wisdom: “Winners win before going to war, and losers seek victory on the battlefield.” This statement can be attributed to both strategy and psychology. After all, those who are confident in their victory even before the competition often win in various areas of life. And those who are pre-set to lose are always left without first places.
There is a winner and a loser in each of us. And our chances of success depend on which of them is stronger in each specific situation. Is it possible to “strengthen” your inner winner, and, on the contrary, push the loser into a distant box? Let's try!
Think positively
Victories start with positive thinking. There is such wisdom: “When a person thinks that he can cope, he is right. When a person is sure that he cannot cope, he is also right.” So you need to start the path to success with changes in your head. Try to remove such words and thoughts from your speech and head: “I can’t”, “I never succeed in anything” and the like. Replace them with positive statements: “I will succeed,” “I will definitely win,” “I am the most charming and attractive.” And there is nothing to laugh about, auto-training is not a fiction from a famous Soviet film, but a real psychological technique. I have already written in more detail about how to learn to think positively.
See the goal
Another Soviet film had its own recipe for success: “See the goal, believe in yourself and not notice the obstacles.” True, there it was necessary in order to pass through walls, but for problems in real life, I think this rule is also suitable.
Let's especially focus on the first part: seeing the goal. To program yourself for success, you need to have a very good idea of what you are trying for. There should be more specifics here, rather than general formulations. The goal “to be rich and happy” is good, but unclear. Visualize in detail what you want to achieve. Psychologists assure: visualizing your desires is the first step towards achieving them.
Observe
If you don’t yet have your own recipe for success, watch successful people: how they cope with difficulties, what they do if something doesn’t work out, how they find solutions to complex problems. Chat with your “winners” friends, read books by famous businessmen. Of course, I don’t believe that the book “How to Become a Millionaire” will make every reader rich, but it may well inspire heroism.
Conquer fear
You won’t achieve anything with positive thinking alone; to win, you have to act. And in this we are sometimes hindered by conscious or subconscious fear. We are afraid of responsibility, new tasks, we are afraid that we will not cope. And this fear makes us make mistakes and blocks the road to our dreams. We have already talked about how to cope with fears.
Get angry
Sometimes you have to get really angry to win. For yourself, for your opponent, and even for the whole world around you. Thought: “I’ll show you all!” - often turns out to be not such a bad motivation, and anger is an excellent driver of personal progress. True, this technique is not suitable for everyone. But as for me, I remember how, as a student, I out of anger beat opponents at chess who were objectively better players than me.
Do you think it’s possible to program yourself to win?
By the way…
In the psychology of a winner, every little thing is important. Even your favorite scent that lifts your spirits and helps you believe in yourself.
| Dolce Eau de Parfum, Dolce&Gabbana | Diamonds Rose Eau de Toilette, Giorgio Armani | Ange ou Demon Le Parfum perfume and perfume accord, Givenchy |
Katya Kozhevnikova , iledebeaute.ru
Train yourself to get up early
The first three hours after waking up are the easiest time to concentrate.
The hardest thing in the morning is to force yourself to get up early and endure five minutes of discomfort. The trick is to get out from under the covers immediately after the alarm and do something. Take a shower or just go to another room. It is important to change the environment so as not to give in to the temptation to lie down again. Otherwise you will feel guilty all day. Those five minutes of discomfort will determine whether your day is successful or mediocre. If your first decision in the morning is to take a nap, what will the rest be? And if you continue like this day after day, what will your life be like?
Key principles for achieving success. 9 rules
No matter how individual the concept of success may be, it has common basic principles.
First of all, it is important to understand that you are an individual and you independently determine the degree of success of your life. The government, parents or phases of the moon are not to blame for your problems.
The government, parents, or phases of the moon are in no way to blame for your problems.
You take it and do it. We will not be remembered only for our thoughts. Only concrete actions change the situation. The more you think about an idea, the more fears there are and the less desire to move;
Live to the maximum. No one will improve our lives except ourselves. We are the artists of our own destiny. Often, between such a familiar comfort zone and the anticipation of new emotions, it is difficult to choose the latter;
Decide youself. If you always act under the influence of the imposition of other people's values, you can quickly lose your “I”. It is acceptable to take into account the opinions of others, but the final decision is made independently. Clearly and confidently;
Challenge yourself. The meaning of human life is constant development. If we do not strive to know the unknown, we gradually slide down the personal ladder;
Communicate more. Find those who have achieved success in the field that interests you. Sharing experiences will help you get closer to your own success. Just don't envy or compare yourself to others;
Always learn. If you want to succeed, you need to study it. Everyone who has achieved something has not received it ready-made on a silver platter. Only through training and practice;
Take the position of an author in your life. Many people do not consciously notice that they are taking a sacrificial position. Most of our attitudes are hidden in the subconscious and manifest themselves automatically. Sometimes we don't notice that we are complaining, making excuses or blaming others;
Develop the skill of active actions
A person understands that it is important to act actively, but few people delve into the essence of how and what to do for this. Each specific case has its own set of specific principles;
Make friends with your own motivation
It is important to understand that there is motivation, and there is self-motivation. These concepts are not identical. Misunderstanding of the meaning of life, laziness and reluctance to do something often arise due to a lack of understanding of this important principle of success.
American psychologist William James said: “Success is self-esteem multiplied by the level of your own ambitions.”
That is, a successful person moves towards his goal, but in such a way as not to lose respect for himself.
Start the day with a priority task
It's not enough to just get up early. You need to immediately get down to business that is important to you. Author Stephen Covey explained this concept in his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Imagine that you need to put stones in a bucket. If you put small pebbles in first, the larger ones simply won’t fit. But if you do the opposite and place the large stones first, the small ones will easily fill the empty spaces. It's the same with business.
Deal with the main tasks first, and fill the rest of the day with small tasks.
Feeding your brain the right food
Nothing is more important for your brain than providing it with the right nutrition or brain nutrition. If your brain is not getting the proper fuel, performing various tasks that require high concentration will become increasingly difficult.
There is currently a big obsession with low fat diets, in a mad race to lose weight. But did you know that the brain needs fatty acids like Omega-3s to reach its full potential? Making healthy fats part of your diet is essential for a sharp mind. Have coconut oil, olive oil, salmon and almond oil in your diet. These foods keep the brain energetic, alert and fresh.
- 30 Amazing Brain Facts That Will Blow Your Mind
- 30 Amazing Brain Facts That Will Blow Your Mind
Overcome resistance and do what you've been avoiding
Most likely, you have some important matter in your life that you are avoiding. For example, write a thesis, draw up a business plan or learn a foreign language. It is very easy to occupy time with urgent matters and hobbies. But the thought that you are putting off something necessary to achieve your goal will constantly haunt you.
Force yourself to work on what you are avoiding for at least a couple of hours. You will definitely feel a surge of energy. You will believe in yourself. Your motivation will increase. You will want to do more in other areas of life.
Concept of achievement motive
Researchers talk not only about motivation in a specific activity, but also about motivation in general, the characteristics of a person. A large psychological dictionary includes the following definition:
The concept of motivation was supplemented by D. McClelland with the concept of “motive of achievement”. He believed that the natural motivator of the achievement motive is the desire to do something better. The achievement motive suggests that “something is done better than the fact itself, because of the internal pleasure of improving one’s own performance.”
Atkinson made additions and further developed D. McClelland's concept. He defines the achievement motive as the ability to feel pride in what has been achieved.
Personal differences in the motivational sphere may manifest themselves in the fact that some people strive to get into situations that lead to achievement, while others strive to avoid them if possible. The strength of a person's desire to achieve should depend on the level of the motive for achieving success as a personal disposition. It represents the subjectively assessed probability of achieving goals and their personal meaning for a person.
Use different learning styles
Everyone has their own dominant learning style. We believe that we can only develop within its framework. And we consider styles that are unusual for us to be inaccessible: they are simply beyond our ability.
For example, you like and are good at mathematics. You are an analytical thinker and view problems and failures as opportunities to learn. You are confident that you can become even better at mathematics. But you don’t like writing. You think that this is not yours and you will never succeed. It's just not built into you.
This is wrong. Everyone has different learning styles. By doing something that you find difficult, you activate areas of the brain that were not used before. You are moving towards goals that were outside of your comfort zone.
You gain confidence by seeing yourself succeed at something difficult.
Why words matter
Language shapes consciousness, so when we tell ourselves that we can’t handle it, the brain perceives this as a guide to action: yeah, that means we can’t handle it? Ok, I got you, boss, now we’ll quickly shut everything down.
Get out of the habit of thinking about something as impossible. You look in the textbook, and there is such a complex example that even a mathematician will think about it? So what. Copy it into your notebook and begin to reason slowly. Think of it as a challenge: I wonder how long it will take me to solve it?
Be clear about the reasons for your goals.
Think about what you want. Then ask yourself why this is so important to you. Don't overthink it. Answer the first thing that comes to mind.
For example, if you want to work from home, the chain of questions would be something like this. Why is it important for me to work from home? I need a flexible schedule. Why is flexible scheduling important to me? This way I feel less stress and pressure. Why is it important for me to experience less stress and pressure? I work better and feel happier when I am in control of my life.
Do this exercise for each of your goals. Try to ask seven questions per target.
By being honest with yourself, you can discover key events that have shaped your personality.
Often we see only our superficial motivation. As a result, our actions do not come from our real desire. Understand your deepest motivation. And then remind yourself of it every day.
A little schizophrenia wouldn't hurt
It's time to talk to ourselves. Argue with yourself. Praise yourself. We are sure you are an excellent conversationalist! Diaries are suitable for such experiments. Research shows that the habit of journaling can greatly help cope with negative thoughts. When we think about ourselves, these thoughts sound like an inner voice that we trust. When we write down our thoughts on paper, the inner voice becomes, as it were, an interlocutor, and thoughts look like a dialogue (you can even write in the form of a dialogue). Then we have a desire to start arguing with the inner critic, to prove that he is wrong.
If you don't like fiddling with paper and pen, download the app. For example, Grid Diary. There is a list of questions that helps you analyze your day and look at it with a positive outlook. It's like a social network, only here you are completely freed from external criticism. You can, without hesitation, praise yourself and analyze.
Believe that you deserve better
Your life reflects your idea of what you deserve. When you strive to give more to people, this vision expands. It grows with the desire to help others. In psychology this is called expectancy theory. It is based on the following:
- How much you want something.
- How much do you believe you can do it or get it.
- How much do you believe that your actions will help achieve your desired goal.
As you develop your skills and confidence, your expectations rise. The future becomes predictable.
How to become successful
How to believe in success and become successful - these are the main questions that the psychology of success reveals. In people's minds, the psychology of success forms an image of a person based on the following characteristics: sociability, decisiveness in action, positive attitude, optimism, slightly inflated self-esteem, motivation to achieve the most unearthly heights.
Why don't all people believe in success? All people are different and not every person can tune in and accept the image described above, so many subconsciously consider themselves losers, even without doing anything to achieve success.
Western information about success factors is so firmly driven into people’s minds that other criteria do not even hypothetically fall under the success formula and it is difficult for a person to believe that he will succeed.
Being a broad concept, success means, for example, scientific discoveries, the creation of a transnational corporation, holding a high government position, winning the Olympics, the birth of a long-awaited child, moving up the career ladder, recovery from a serious illness, getting a long-awaited job, happiness in your personal life, etc. . Every person in the course of life achieves personal success in various areas, and is there really a universal template for a successful person who effectively achieves everything? Of course not.
Psychology identifies only psychological factors of success that can help bring it closer faster.
What to do if you can't become successful? Be yourself. One can name many specific areas of life where the qualities that the psychology of success attributes to a successful individual play against a person.
It is no secret that many strong individual qualities of a person allow one to achieve no less success in certain situations. And even what psychology classifies as weaknesses can turn out to be strengths. For example, a person’s low self-esteem is a good driver in achieving real success, in comparison with inflated self-esteem, which is inherent in a self-sufficient person.
Closedness, unsociability, absorption in one’s thoughts and ideas can be used to focus on one’s goals, and as a result, this is a mandatory achievement of success in life. But a lack of concentration on one’s goals is an obstacle to quick success, but can serve as the basis for a calm and harmonious life.
Being similar to the ideal of a successful person, an individual loses his individuality as a whole. Passion for positive attitudes, communication training, and motivation can “erase” what is simple, living, and real that exists in every person. Friends, boss, business partners, and loved ones can feel this.
How to become successful and not fall into the trap that the psychology of success sets? You need to think, compare, try on any advice from books, trainings or blogs.
In any case, the choice remains with the person: whether to remain an individual or follow the psychology of success
You can take on any business in this life, but only those who understand it will succeed, and it doesn’t matter whether they know the psychology of success or not. Each individual decides for himself: does he need fame, recognition or does he prefer to remain unknown?
And this does not mean that a person is good or bad, just that all people are different.
First decide what you want from life, and then figure out how to get it
Usually salary dictates lifestyle. If you get a lot, you spend a lot. But it's smarter to decide what you want first. And then think about how to achieve this.
There's nothing wrong with wanting more. The problem comes when you become dependent on things. Money is a tool. The more you earn, the more useful you can do.
Don't make your dreams fit your lifestyle. Adjust your lifestyle to your dreams.
Remove negative
A 2012 study found that when we frequently treat our negative thoughts like physical things, we also get a great sense of satisfaction when we get rid of them.
Negative thoughts weigh us down every day, sometimes so much that we find it very difficult to carry out daily activities. Our brain is fixated on the negative - and this does not contribute to its development.
We must constantly look for any traces of negative thoughts in our lives and pinpoint the source. We then have to physically go through the process of pulling that negative thought out of our head and throwing it out the window. This may sound stupid, but you will see that it really works wonders once you try it a few times.
Develop communication skills
Learn to speak simply, clearly and concisely. This will increase your chances of success. Few companies clearly explain why they do what they do. What is your goal? Why does your company exist? Why should anyone care?
There are two ways to influence. You can manipulate people or inspire them. We are drawn to leaders and organizations that can explain what they believe in and why they do what they do. The feeling that we are part of something bigger inspires us. This is the kind of company we want to do business with.
People who have achieved success from scratch
There are quite a lot of bright positive examples, and some books just shout their names from the bookstore shelves “100 people who achieved success”, “50 successful geniuses”, while many books are dedicated to people who still received worldwide recognition, despite physical features, including Ludwig Van Beethoven, Frida Kahlo, John Nash, Nick Vujicic. I propose to focus on the brightest personalities, so that everyone can believe that everything will work out for them in the best possible way. Jan Koum, a native of Ukraine, who, thanks to the success and subsequent sale of the start-up WhatsApp, carried out a revolution in communications.
How can one not remember Henry Ford and his automobile breakthrough, as well as Colonel Sanders, who after long service in the army and years of self-discovery created the KFC brand, Roman Abramovich and his colossal business empire in Russia and abroad. And the inventor of the ordinary incandescent light bulb, Thomas Edison, also started from scratch, just like the world-famous and today rich writer Joan Rowling. There are many examples - both in the field of production, creativity and modern technical projects. And such bright personalities literally tell us: “If I could, why don’t you at least just try?” But indeed, maybe not everything is so complicated and success is much closer than it seems.
In the evening, mentally prepare for the next day.
A successful morning begins in the evening. Take a few minutes to decide what you will do in the morning. You don't have to make a long to-do list. It is enough to know what you will do first.
Meditate, tune in to achieving your goals. Then, after awakening, you will already be aimed at success. All that remains is to get out of bed. Resist the temptation to lie down a little longer. You don't need to make a decision to get up or not to get up, you've already made it the night before.
Your morning and your life will not become successful by accident. To do this you need to make a choice.
Basic principles of the subconscious mind
Every idea, thought (word) produces a physical reaction
Thought creates reality. You shouldn’t go far in thinking: “How much can my thought change my Life?” Everything is simpler and closer to biology and psychology. Thoughts evoke emotions and feelings that can either inspire you to a heroic deed or even put you into a depressive state.
The subconscious triggers such reactions. For example, when hearing the word “milk,” someone will begin to produce gastric juice, and someone will experience an aversion to lactose. And such reactions to all thoughts and words.
What is expected is usually what happens
By expecting good or bad, we thereby give a goal to the subconscious. And it will strive to achieve it.
If we expect good things, we will get good things, and unfortunately, the opposite is also true: expecting bad things justifies itself.
Reactive reaction. Or any force causes an anti force
The harder you try to achieve a goal, the harder it becomes.
At the same time, as soon as you relax and get distracted by something else, the early goal falls into your hand.
There is no difference between virtual experience and imaginary experience
Before a pilot boards a real plane, he spends dozens of hours in a cockpit simulating a flight. And miraculously, after time he turns into a real pilot of a real plane.
Athletes have long been armed with mental techniques: before performing sports feats in competitions, they perform them in their minds.
For the subconscious, what I see for real or what I see in my head (on TV, in a game, in an imitation of reality) makes no difference.
(For clarity. They were rude to you - you were offended. They were rude to your favorite movie character in the series, you were also offended. In one case it’s life, in the other it’s a movie, but feelings and emotions for you are real and real).
Emotions - a marker, a label
Emotions are a marker, a mark for the subconscious
The more emotional the thought, the more your subconscious mind will pay attention to it, the more resources it will allocate to corresponding actions.
For example, the simple idea of traveling around the world is just a fleeting desire that is soon forgotten. But if these thoughts are accompanied by strong emotions (well, I really want to), then consciousness will often (as if by chance) stumble upon corresponding stories.
(The eyes “themselves” will freeze on the sign of the next travel agency, the hand “themselves” will press the button to the Discovery Channel, the ears “themselves” will pay more attention to stories about how someone went somewhere to the seas, oceans) .
Films about the subconscious
Films about the mind and subconscious are of interest to psychologists, people who are engaged in discovering their abilities. The human brain is a mysterious substance, who knows what might be hidden there? Masterpieces of cinema that lift the veil of subconscious processes:
- "Areas of Darkness / Limitless"
. Eddie Morra is a failure in life, his marriage is destroyed, he is not in demand as a writer, but everything changes when he meets his ex-brother-in-law Vernon, who offers him miracle pills that reveal 100% of the brain's potential. - "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
. The film is about love, which is not afraid of “erasing memories”; the subconscious of the main characters refuses to erase feelings, and somewhere in the subconscious depths Joel and Clementine remember each other and collide again and again. - "Deja Vu / Déjà Vu"
. The film is about the mysterious phenomenon of the subconscious, known as déjà vu, expressed in the brain's message “it has already happened.” - "Shutter Island
" Federal agents Teddy Daniels and Chuck are sent to a psychiatric clinic on Shutter Island to investigate the disappearance of child killer Rachel Solando. The investigation becomes tangled and complicated by the fact that Daniels' subconscious keeps its own secrets. - "Beginning / Inception"
. Dominic Cobb is a valuable expert in hacking people's subconscious minds, stealing valuable information through lucid dreaming.
Books about the subconscious
The power of the subconscious is great, say psychologists and people who have embarked on the path of self-knowledge
Using the techniques described in the books, it is important to rely on your well-being and condition, because discovered destructive programs and mental trauma can cause colossal harm to a person. Some techniques and exercises will be useful for development
Books about the capabilities of the subconscious:
- “ Secrets of the subconscious
” V. Sinelnikov. The author gives healing techniques that program a person to recover and achieve harmonious relationships. - “ Secrets of the Subconscious
” by L. Nimbroek. Exploring the “black box” of the subconscious through lucid dreams. - “ The superpowers of the human brain.
Journey into the subconscious » M. Raduga. The book provides revolutionary tools for hacking limiting beliefs and attitudes implanted by parents and society. - “ Open subconscious
” A. Sviyash. The entire “kitchen” of subconscious processes in an understandable presentation, plus many of the author’s tools for the effective use of brain resources. - “ The subconscious can do anything
” by J. Kehoe. Bestselling book. The author offers a systematic approach that activates unconscious processes to achieve what you want in reality.
