One of the Quora users asked the readers of the resource an important question that comes to each of us at least once in our lives: “How to overcome fear of the future?” Indeed, any person has asked himself these questions:
What will the future be like? Will my dreams come true? Will I be able to achieve the goals I set for myself? Will I be able to cope with all the obstacles that will come my way? Will I be able to build a career? What about my personal life?
Today we will share with you people's opinions on this matter.
Get out of your comfort zone
I believe it is more a fear of failure than a fear of the future. Therefore, I think it is worth starting with this. Failure or error is not always a bad thing. An intelligent person will be able to learn a lot from his mistakes, gain experience that he would never have acquired if his path was paved exclusively with successes.
Have you ever noticed that a person who has built a successful business in any industry often stops there and does not strive to develop and “capture” new areas of business. And why? Because he doesn't know the secret of his success. Or he just thinks he knows.
It is very strange that the author of the question limited the future only to his own selfish framework and did not mention that it could be much worse than not getting a good job or not fulfilling your cherished dreams. War, for example. Nuclear terrorism. Economic collapse. Various epidemics. Hunger. A large asteroid will fall to Earth. Totalitarian tyranny. Global warming or cooling. Or something else like that.
In my opinion, to overcome your fear of the future, you need to get out of your comfort zone. Start small: talk to a stranger, or stop taking the same route to work year after year and try to find alternative routes. Read a book about something completely new to you. Sign up for courses that are far from your interests and your professional activities. Create your startup.
Ask yourself: “Is there something that I want to do or that I want to achieve, but I just can’t get around to it?” If your answer is yes, go for it.
And of course, take some time off and think carefully about what you want to do in the future. What YOU really want, not your family, friends, colleagues or acquaintances. And then start doing it.
The more you achieve, the more different things you manage to do, the less you will be afraid of tomorrow. You will be confident that you can handle whatever life throws at you.
How to get rid of fear of the future?
It is psychological instability that becomes a catalyst for various kinds of phobias . The impetus that a stressful situation gives strikes a blow to the psyche, and inexplicable fear appears. Understanding that futurophobia significantly complicates life, it is worth getting rid of it. There are several ways to do this.
- Determine what exactly is stopping you. Specifically, what event causes panic fear. Is it real? Can it cause significant harm?
- Visualization. Fear must take form. You can draw it or describe what it looks like.
- The situation from the outside. You can try to look at fear through someone else's eyes. Is he really that terrible?
- Don't discuss the emotions he evokes. This will aggravate the situation; emotions should not prevail when getting rid of a phobia.
There is a great way to deal with your fear by having a clear idea of what it looks like and its shape. For example, imagine that fear has turned into a flower. And simply rip it off and trample it. Or imagine visualized fear in a comical situation, in the form of a clown who has fallen and cannot get up.
Be courageous
In my opinion, fear of the future is based on the past. For example, a person in the past experienced misfortunes or betrayals, in a word, he experienced all the pain and injustice of this world. And now he's afraid it might happen again. I can't formulate a specific plan of action, but I really want to give you one quote that I hope will help you:
Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, give me the courage to change the things I can change, and give me the wisdom to know the difference.
How to live without fear?
It is clear that everyone is afraid of something. But getting rid of phobias is also necessary; they complicate life, turning it into a nightmare . In order not to die from fear of the future, you should follow these tips:
- Strengthen your condition. If there is a fear of lack of money, start creating a “financial cushion” for yourself, a nest egg, to put it simply.
- Direct your energy to household chores. Do housework more often.
- Find hobbies. Any hobby will help take your mind off obsessive thoughts.
- Avoid talking, reading, or watching TV about the problem that is bothering you. If you are afraid of the political situation, you should never get involved in a dialogue about politics, this can give a new round of development to the phobia.
- Do what you love. Watching your favorite movies, listening to music, reading books - all this will prevent fear from eating away from the inside.
- To have a pet. The smaller brothers subtly sense the mood of their owners, become real friends and can help get rid of futurophobia.
If none of the attempts is successful, you should seek help from a specialist . Practicing doctors will always help you understand yourself and the difficult situation that created the phobia. Psychotherapy, medications prescribed by a doctor and the desire to get rid of obsessive fears will be the key to a life free of phobias.
Why are many people afraid of exams?
There are two main reasons why people fear exams. The first is, of course, genetic. All mental disorders and serious psychological problems, such as depression, anxiety, or migraines, develop due to a genetic predisposition. Many people worry when they have to take an exam, but not everyone experiences this fear in the form of clear physiological symptoms. After all, some people’s eyes may darken during an exam; a person may completely forget what he knew perfectly well and learned by heart. This is due to a genetic predisposition to increased anxiety. It all depends on the individual characteristics of the psyche. There are people who experience severe anxiety and panic attacks in completely different life situations, but feel calm while taking exams. Conversely, some people are afraid of exams without having any tendency toward anxiety.
A phobia, as a rule, is formed in the form of a complex feeling of the inability to overcome something specific.
The second main reason for test anxiety usually stems from childhood memories. A person facing such problems may have experienced some intense fear or failure in the past due to some kind of examination or test. Or he could have been scolded by his parents for failing to pass some exam. Such situations overlap each other and are reinforced, developing into phobias and fears in adulthood.
Futurophobia - what is it?
What is futurophobia? This is an irrational fear of upcoming events, fear of the future. Fear of the future in relationships, work, life. More often, anxiety is activated under the influence of important, positive events, for example, before changing jobs, moving, or the birth of a child. Even if everything goes well, and the changes can be called long-awaited, a person is overcome by the fear of not being able to cope with possible difficulties. The patient is aware of the irrationality of fear, but cannot cope with it. Attempts to ignore anxiety lead to its intensification.
It is important! Fear of the future is a signal of internal disharmony of the individual. It is necessary to understand what problem fear indicates.
Overcoming Fear of Change
Overcoming the fear of change is not a difficult task, you just need to force yourself to do what you are afraid of.
To help you get out of your comfort zone, do things that you are not used to. If you are used to eating normal food, then try Chinese food, change the places you go to or the tables you sit at, or go somewhere else to see a different culture.
Even if these changes were small, they will program your mind into a new way of thinking that will allow you to accept the changes.
Finally, find out if your past experiences have anything to do with your fear of change, and then work to address the root causes associated with your past.
Realizing the possibilities
Now imagine that all the recorded fears have come true. Everything is lost. This means your life is a blank slate, an open road. Write down on the blank part of the page all the possibilities that arise in front of you. Not ways to avoid the collapse of your old life, but what you want to fill your new one with. This may seem impossible and wrong, but often it is liberation from the usual that can open the way to something good that previously had no place in our lives.
Sometimes the fear of losing what we have prevents us from gaining what we have long dreamed of.
Feel free to fill out the sheet with everything you really want and you will see that there is a bright side to the problem. They say: “One died of fear, the other came to life.” Your life after instability may turn out better than it was before all the upheavals.
Illness from childhood
Atychiphobe is a person with impaired self-esteem, unable to adequately assess the balance of his strengths in relation to the prevailing circumstances. Undoubtedly, a significant event that had a negative outcome pushed the patient to form a phobia.
But why are some people able to cope with difficulties, take into account old mistakes, continuing to move forward, while others fixate on failure, giving rise to doubts and uncertainty? Defeat can create in a person a persistent feeling of helplessness, confidence in the lack of knowledge and skills. Over time, for such individuals, negative experiences develop into a phobia.
The peculiarity of such a person is his fixation on one negative situation. He believes that, having suffered defeat once, he will now face failure in all his endeavors. When assessing the situation, circumstances and personal characteristics are ignored. There is a generalization of the picture of what is happening. Such a negative attitude deprives people of purposefulness, prevents them from making plans and moving forward.
The roots of the problem stretch from early childhood. Many factors can influence a child’s self-esteem:
- model of parental education - high expectations for the child, the requirement to be first everywhere, at the top. The desire for primacy in everything forces the child to be in a state of increased tension, close to stress;
- The child’s successes are deprived of encouragement. This refers to an adequate positive assessment of achievements. As a result, the child is deprived of the opportunity to form the correct attitude towards his victories;
- achievements are ignored, and mistakes are severely punished by parents. Children do not know how to rejoice in successes, acutely experiencing failures;
- ridicule from peers. Ridiculing actions, as well as personal qualities, features of appearance;
- desire for perfectionism;
- character traits - impressionability, suspiciousness, anxiety, fixation on negative aspects.
Fear of failure
Atychiphobia is characterized by the fear of failure that accompanies a person in any endeavor. Because of the phobia, the patient refuses to accomplish turning points and significant events in life. The reason lies in the constant, unintentional expectation of failure in every endeavor.
To a greater extent, this phenomenon concerns situations related to competition. School relay races, competitions, marathons, job interviews, and university admissions become a source of genuine fear in advance. The atychiphobe is sure that if he gets involved in this adventure, he will inevitably be defeated. In order not to be disappointed, a person even refuses to simply try to catch luck by the tail.
The patient is confident in his incompetence and weakness. He believes that he is deprived of the ability to achieve success, to solve the problem that has arisen, so he usually remains on the sidelines, inaction.
A person suffering from atychiphobia tries to avoid problematic situations in order to isolate themselves from inevitable failures. The inability to withstand difficulties and the fear of defeat take away the opportunity for self-development, personal and professional growth. An unfulfilled person loses self-confidence and is prone to depression.
Signs of a phobia include:
- refusal to participate in unfamiliar activities;
- avoidance of new people, places, untried food;
- low self-esteem;
- excessive self-criticism;
- social isolation;
- justifying one’s own inaction – lack of talent, necessary skills, lack of knowledge in this matter;
- lack of self-confidence and own actions.
Inactivity and refusal to be active are a kind of comfort zone for the patient, as they help avoid failure and save them from disappointment. By abstracting from unknown events, the patient finds peace.
Symptoms of atychiphobia can manifest themselves on a subconscious level, regardless of the will of the patient. A person begins to hesitate to complete a task in which he potentially feels failure. Suddenly there are a lot of other, more important things to do, and the level of anxiety increases.
Atychiphobia, like any phobia, is expressed by signs of a panic attack. They overtake the individual in those conditions where he is sure that failure and disappointment await him. A typical example is a man’s fear of meeting a woman. Atychiphobe believes that he is not good enough to please the opposite sex, has status, is not handsome, is not smart.
Immediately before a date, such a man is overtaken by anxiety, painful excitement seizes, tachycardia and shortness of breath develop. Particularly indicative symptoms of phobia are nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. When the patient sees the object of his attention, he may be speechless. Movements are constrained, the man literally freezes with fear.
Other signs of the disorder, depending on the traumatic event, include tremors in the limbs, fussiness, irritability, and pale skin. If there are several days left before the unfortunate event, the individual is deprived of sleep.
Remember that negative emotions also bring benefits
What kind of person would you grow up to be if you had never experienced grief, sadness, disappointment, or anger in your entire life? Most likely a naive, soft mattress that is worse adapted to life than a houseplant. Failures, difficulties, disappointments build character, teach masculinity and help you get rid of rose-colored glasses. Anger helps you overcome obstacles, disappointments are the best teachers who open your eyes to the world. Even anger can be righteous if it is necessary to defend your rights or protect loved ones. Don't be afraid of these emotions, don't avoid them, but accept them as an inevitable part of life. After all, no great artist or writer can create if there is no room for drama in life.
Who are you to dare this?
Once you decide to become an extraordinary person, fear will ask you this question.
Fear doesn't care what you set your mind to: starting your own business, quitting your job, writing a book, or becoming a nanny. He calls for fear of the future.
Fear doesn't care about the specific details of your undertaking. No matter who you are, what you dream of, or what you try to accomplish, fear will always think that you are completely unprepared for it.
Even a tiny step towards extraordinaryness - and fear flares up in your heart like a signal fire.
“Who are you to do this?”
“What makes you think you could become like that?”
“You don’t have the right education, training or experience.”
“You’re just a mom or a call center operator.”
“Your life experience will be of no use if you try to achieve this new dream.”
The first argument of fear is that you lack the necessary qualifications.
If you believe in yourself and are convinced that a new business will help change your life, take action!
But get ready for the next fear argument.
Learn to emotionally distance yourself from problems
There is one secret that will help you respond adequately to many troubles that have fallen on your shoulders: think about them from the perspective of an observer, as if it happened not to you, but to another person. This approach helps the psyche to better adapt and cope with the situation, as a result of which you will not feel helpless and crushed. To practice this approach, start by remembering your last conflict, which caused a lot of problems, and look at it from the point of view of an observer:
How would you assess this situation from an observer's point of view? Do the observer and the person being observed assess the situation in the same way? What advice would an observer give so that the parties to the conflict can find a solution that will satisfy everyone?
It’s always easier to watch and give advice from the outside, so apply this practice to your life.
