The topic of betrayal is eternal, like love itself. For a married woman, a lover is sometimes more important than a husband: he can be for her not only a loved one and bed partner, but also a friend, like-minded person, and work colleague.
The reasons for the emergence of “love triangles” are varied and do not always lend themselves to classical logic. Why classic? Because classical logic is masculine. It is fundamentally different from women's. But the logic of women can sometimes explain the inexplicable...
But, be that as it may, the appearance of a lover in a married woman is always, in one way or another, connected with sex.
Traditionally, the reasons for the appearance of a lover in a married lady are considered to be:
- Lack of attention from the spouse, lack of warmth in the relationship. Moreover, this aspect is valid both for physical signs of attention and in the spiritual sphere - when a husband ceases to be interested in his wife as a woman, when he ceases to be interested in her life outside the family. This line of behavior of the spouse may also opaquely hint that he himself is a participant in his own “love triangle,” but not always. Perhaps he has some problems that he would not like to “burden” his beloved woman with.
- Sexual incompatibility. It happens that after living in a marriage for several years (especially when the marriage is early), people admit to themselves that their partner does not suit them in bed. It is not always enough to have the courage to admit this to your other half, for fear of simply offending. This phenomenon occurs often and can be explained simply - too different temperaments. But this is not a verdict - everything can be discussed and resolved.
- New love. This is probably the worst thing. New love, new passion... You can do something stupid...
- Sometimes the appearance of a lover happens because the spouse does not want to have children. Motherhood for a woman is almost the most important instinct, and it requires implementation. If one man does not give her this, then there will be another, more accommodating one.
- Another reason is lack of money in the family. When there is a catastrophic shortage of funds and a woman cannot afford to buy extra tights, this is a reason to look for a “sponsor” on the side.
If, nevertheless, the decision has been made that you need a lover in your life, then you should familiarize yourself with a number of rules that will significantly facilitate the difficult life in the “love triangle”.
Prospects for the development of relations
Plunging headlong into romance, married lovers and married mistresses do not at first think about the prospect of developing their relationship. If partners manage to keep the relationship secret, then the romance can last for years. Gradually, the passion disappears, and lovers continue to meet by inertia until one of the partners wants to leave, or both come to such a decision.
It happens that one of the lovers may get too carried away, and for him the end of the affair will be a blow. It’s even worse when one begins to experience real feelings for the other or lives with illusions about far-fetched love. Then the partner may simply not let go of his lover or mistress.
Rule No. 1 - “Rule of Sex”
Adultery always involves lying and acting. In order not to get caught red-handed, if this is of course relevant to you, you need to be able to live a double life so that you are not suspected of lying and betrayal.
You will need remarkable acting talent and the ability to “silence the voice of conscience.”
During moments of sexual intimacy, a woman is especially vulnerable emotionally - the risk of exposure increases at least twice. Therefore, the head should be light, cool, and work like a personal computer. But, Lord, how difficult it can be sometimes!
The unpleasant option must definitely be thought out if the deception is still revealed. A woman should clearly know what she will say and do if her husband accuses her of cheating.
All men, without exception, are owners. This should always be remembered. There will be no “human understanding” of your excuses. Only 1 man in 1000 can calmly respond to your revelations, but even he will not provide the expected support. Russians are not Swedes, they have a different mentality, and approval for sexual life in threesomes will definitely not follow.
How to have a lover: pitfalls
Married women find it somewhat more difficult to have a man on the side than those who are not burdened with obligations. But, on the other hand, many representatives of the stronger sex prefer married mistresses, since this option eliminates the need for future marriage.
So, a few tips for a successful search:
- You can engage in a targeted search or rely on the will of fate, for example, cherish the hope of meeting in a cafe or other places.
- It is better to choose a lover who lives far from the spouses' home.
- You cannot tell anyone about your search, especially if it was successful, even your friends.
- The best option is a married man, who also benefits from keeping meetings secret.
As for the pitfalls: there is a danger of confusing passion with love. A woman, if she wants to save her marriage, must not lose her self-control.
It is necessary to be aware that new sensations, even if they add spice to a measured life, do not have a deep meaning.
Before you decide to cheat, you should think about the fact that such an act could cause your marriage to fall apart.
Rule No. 2 - “Rule of Life”
Cheating is always painful. Only those novels where there is love, or at least falling in love, are easy and painless.
It’s difficult to negotiate with your own conscience, and it doesn’t always work out. And combined with heightened emotions, it’s simply unbearable. Think about it: are you able to easily and calmly deceive a loved one? Realize that you will never have the opportunity to fall asleep and wake up next to your loved one, endlessly make excuses to your lover, why are you still not divorced from your husband?
And here’s the other side of the coin: put yourself in the place of your lover, just mentally switch roles. Can you live like this? Will it be easy in his place? If “yes,” then there are no reasons or barriers to adultery. If “no”, then you should think about whether this is really necessary?
Eternal fear
Before you win a married woman, you need to answer yourself honestly: are you ready to fear publicity all the time? Hiding and playing a double game is a lot of stress.
It is only in films that the main characters manage to masterfully deceive those around them; in life there is a much greater likelihood of screwing up something.
As soon as others become aware of the affair, trouble will inevitably arise. The righteous anger of the deceived spouse will fall on both of you with incredible force.
If you have an affair at work with a married woman, the condemnation of your colleagues is the least of your troubles. In many organizations, intimacy between employees is prohibited by corporate ethics.
When information about you reaches your superiors, expect trouble. You may not be fired, but you will definitely be demoted or transferred to another department, away from the object of your forbidden passion.
Relationships with a woman with a family should be hidden from friends and relatives. They will most likely judge your love for your married woman.
You'll have to hide from everyone and be afraid of every passerby on the street - what if it's someone you know? Then, thanks to gossip, a chain reaction will occur - other people around you will become aware of your relationship.
Rule #3 - “Divide and Conquer”
In order to avoid problems, understand that your men should not even suspect each other’s existence. Each of them should feel like the only one loved.
If you decide that you give this day or hour to this man, then you should not be distracted by other people, phone calls, SMS, the Internet or feelings of guilt at this time.
One day the choice was made in his favor. You wanted this, so enjoy the victory! This is your choice and it is without any doubt worthy of respect.
This day is yours with him, and no one can become an obstacle. Well, unless there is some kind of force majeure in the form of a natural disaster or sudden military action.
Rule No. 4 - “Be yourself”
Life in a “love triangle” is itself dual. It is not surprising that in this state of affairs a woman feels like 2 in 1, but at the same time she is the same as before.
The ability to be true to yourself is not innate. This is rather the result of upbringing and personality development. This quality of character must be constantly developed.
Remember, you are you, there is no one else like you. With every man you should be yourself, if only because they love you, and not a fictional character.
If you give in any slack, that’s it, there’s a threat of exposure. "Love Triangle" is not for the faint of heart.
It is also worth remembering that if the situation becomes confusing, you should not be led by your emotions, they are the worst adviser. In such situations, you should be calm and have a cool mind. This is the only way to make the right decision.
Rule No. 5 - “Your health is your concern”
A married woman is an adult, mature person who is independently responsible for her life and health. Often she has to take responsibility for others, for example, for her children. So the issue of responsibility for a married lady is not new, rather the opposite.
Everyone knows that sex produces children, even elementary schoolchildren. Is it then worth mentioning contraception once again? Costs. Unprotected sex can cause not only children, but also a whole bunch of sexually transmitted diseases. Many of them are incurable. Always remember this.
Before starting an intimate relationship, it would be justified to ask a potential partner for a certificate about his sexual health. There is nothing inconvenient about this. If a man needs a woman, then a certificate of health will in no way become an obstacle for him to a relationship.
For her part, the lady would also benefit from regular monitoring of the flora, which is documented.
All your men must be ready to take responsibility for you, each in his turn. But practice shows that this is far from the case. In a fit of passion, a man’s brain turns off earlier and faster than a woman’s, so don’t blame me.
If a man is not ready for any responsibility, think about whether you need such an unreliable partner? Will this relationship bring more troubles than happy moments?
Statistics of female infidelity
Women who work in an office are more likely to have affairs than housewives or ladies who work from home. 27% of women who do not work in an office cheated, and 47% of those who work in a team.
57% of office workers met their lover at work.
Ladies who decide on a new romance more often choose married men in order to be on an equal footing. A family lover understands the importance of keeping the affair a secret, and is less likely to suffer from sexually transmitted diseases.
You can get acquainted with the statistics of female infidelity in more detail in the article How often do women cheat.
Rule No. 6 - “A friend will not betray you, God will not notice, a good horse will not let you down”
If an intimate relationship outside of marriage has taken place, do not give yourself away, hide your emotions and disguise yourself. Reputation is everything to us. She must be flawless. For strangers, friends, acquaintances, you are an impeccable housewife and wife. Homebody.
In camouflage, indirect evidence is important, accumulated constantly, little by little, methodically. Then no one will be able to even entertain the thought of your infidelity.
If you say that you are going to the gym, then you need to return “as usual” at the same time, without makeup, tired, with a wet T-shirt in your sports bag. If you go to the spa, then exactly the opposite - satisfied and refreshed.
Rule No. 7 - “Live without illusions”
Everything always passes. "Love Triangle" too. Over time, its corners are smoothed out, and it dissolves into Summer.
Eternal love between lovers is a priori impossible. Triple alliances, where all participants lived happily ever after and died on the same day, are a utopia. It should be left to the high art of poets and directors of erotic productions.
In real life, having affairs on the side takes a lot of emotional investment. It is necessary to constantly lie, adjust, play a role. It's tiring. Moreover, you never know how it will end and at what moment. You also need to remember this and not build castles in the air in your imagination.
