Charisma: what is it in simple words and how to develop it

“I don't believe in astrology. “I believe in my charisma,” Freddie Mercury once said when he was the lead singer of the rock band Queen.

During his lifetime, he attracted huge concert halls, and even now millions of people remember him. And all thanks to talent and, of course, charisma.

What is charisma and what are the signs of a charismatic person? Why is it so important and how to develop it? What books about charisma are worth reading? Surely you are asking yourself exactly these questions, and this article definitely has the answers to them!

What is charisma in simple words

There is no exact interpretation of the concept of “charisma” anywhere. This is not a special gift, but a set of specific skills that a person can develop in himself consciously or unconsciously.

For example:

• self confidence;
• positive attitude towards people and life;
• leadership skills;
• high communication skills;
• reasonable generosity;
• inner calm and prudence;
• sociability, charm;
• individuality;
• high level of empathy.

Just being an empathic and thoughtful person does not mean that he is charismatic. Crowds follow charismatic people. They blow up concert halls, they have a lot of friends and are welcome in any company.

In addition, it is easier for such people to move up the career ladder: it is obvious that employers give preference to purposeful and responsive employees with excellent communication skills. They can easily convince counterparties to enter into transactions, and in general they quickly resolve difficult situations.

Charisma also plays a role in relationships. If a person always finds common topics for conversation, is interested in something and is generally considered an interesting conversationalist, he will not have any special problems in both friendship and love.

From a psychological point of view, charisma is divided into several types:

1. Focus charisma is the ability to show another person that you are focused only on him. Bill Clinton has this skill.
2. Charisma of authority is the ability to convince people that you can change their lives. For example, as Bill Gates or Elon Musk did.
3. The charisma of kindness is to make a person feel important, like the Dalai Lama.
4. The charisma of a visionary is to instill faith in people, even in the unreal. How Steve Jobs did it.

History of the origin of the term

The meaning of the word “charisma” comes from the ancient Greek χάρισμα, or gift of God. Its use was found in mythology and meant the ability to attract people to oneself. Charites in Ancient Greece were the goddesses of beauty, elegance and grace.

In Christianity this term also had its place. Select people who were endowed with special talents by the Holy Spirit were called charismatics.

Religious interpretations move away from traditional scientific explanations. We will focus on the latter.

This term was introduced into sociology by the German theologian and cultural philosopher Ernst Troeltsch. The concept of charismatic authority was further developed by his compatriot, sociologist, historian and political economist Max Weber. He was convinced that charisma was a supernatural power accessible only to a narrow circle of people.

Weber considered it within the framework of statehood. He identified 3 types of power: traditional, rational and charismatic. The first was based on inheritance, the second on law, and the third was based on the exceptional qualities of the leader, that is, on his charisma.

Charismatic person - who is this in simple words

A charismatic is a person who has inner strength and energy, thanks to which he can lead crowds of people.

Charisma is important not only for communication, but also for achieving certain goals in different areas of life:

• career advancement;
• love relationship;
• policy;
• education.

There are students whom teachers, all other things being equal, give preference and give higher grades than others. There are politicians who promise and do not keep their words, but people continue to believe them. There are teachers whose lessons you want to go to more than others, simply because they are more interesting. All this is nothing more than the influence of charisma on people.

Sometimes they say that charisma is the ability to manipulate people. And this statement is partly true: thanks to charisma, a person can do both good and evil deeds if he knows how to convince and lead crowds.

Concept

Let's see what definition Wikipedia gives us.

Charisma is an exceptional attractiveness, a special giftedness of an individual in an intellectual, spiritual or some other way.

This term also means a set of emotional and mental abilities, thanks to which a person evokes sympathy and trust from others, and is able to influence them for reasons that often cannot be objectively assessed.

In simple words, these are some inner qualities of a person that make him stand out from the crowd. At the same time, he may not have a bright appearance, but others still consider him attractive.

Signs of a charismatic person

There are several external and non-verbal signs by which you can identify a charismatic person:

1. Sociability and openness. Such a person is always happy to meet people and can support any topic of conversation. He has many interesting ideas, and positive energy is felt in his every action.
2. Uniqueness is the ability to live without regard to the opinions of others. A charismatic person does everything the way only he needs, as long as it does not violate the interests of other people.
3. Neat appearance, neatness. This is not always a sign of charisma, but looking your best makes it much easier to charm people.
4. Sensitivity – the ability to listen to other people, empathize with their problems, and give the right advice (when asked).
5. Confidence. A charismatic person has no special complexes about his appearance. Even if they happen, he tries not to pay attention to them or work to eliminate the cause.
6. High level of self-control. In any situation, the charismatic “keeps his face” and does not become despondent in front of the public, even if his whole life has fallen into the abyss at that moment.
7. Oratory skills. A charismatic person always conveys his message to people clearly and clearly, and they listen to him. And they want to hear.

If there is a charismatic person next to you in the crowd, you will definitely feel it. At a minimum, you will periodically look at him, and at maximum, you will want to get to know him and start a conversation. At the same time, you will not be able to explain why exactly this person attracted you and why you paid attention to him.

Where to begin

We have already decided what qualities a charismatic person has. What about how to develop them? The books “Charisma. How to Influence, Convince and Inspire” by Kabein Fox and “Charisma of a Leader” by Radislav Gandapas.

Some have innate charisma, and some acquire it through self-improvement. If you are reading this article, you are probably the second type. You need not only the signs of a charismatic person, but also information on how to become one. My article, Leader Charisma and Potential Development, will help you deepen your knowledge on this topic.

To help develop charisma in yourself:

Feeling. In simple words, when communicating with people, you need to record all their gestures, facial expressions and intonation, even implicit pauses or accelerations. By understanding what is meaningful to a person, you can understand how to win them over. Oratory courses. You can go to a professional, or you can limit yourself to your own performances and speeches. Successes and mistakes

It is important not to be afraid of mistakes, to be able to accept your defeats, but to always strive for victory. The more knowledge and skills you have, the more confident you will feel.

A person who can be called charismatic can be seen from afar. He always has something to say. And while doing this, he enjoys every minute, every surprised, delighted or dissatisfied exclamation. Time freezes next to him and you want to put everything aside.

What is charisma in a woman?

If you see a completely ordinary girl next to a tall, handsome man, and it’s clear from their relationship that he carries her in his arms and loves her very much, most likely it’s a matter of her charisma. She has charm and her own “zest”.

Women are characterized by their own special signs of charisma, which are less common in men:

• playfulness;
• romance;
• immediacy.

A charismatic woman also has self-esteem and the ability to clearly indicate her desires. She doesn’t make a scandal just because her husband bought the wrong brand of oil or came home half an hour later than usual. And in general, her husband will run home from work, without stopping anywhere, because he knows: it’s good and calm there. Charismatics try to build relationships where there is no place for hysterics and negativity, and all problems are resolved through calm discussion.

A man will always want to be close to a woman who clearly defines her boundaries and declares her desires, without allowing herself to be treated with disdain. But on one condition: they will support him in a difficult situation, listen to him when he feels bad and will not make trouble for no reason.

There are also personality traits that are important for a career. For example, the ability to convince and listen to your interlocutor, get out of difficult situations, argue your opinion in disputes, maintain good relationships in a team.

“She was ugly, but she used her plainness so skillfully that even the most beautiful girls recognized her as a dangerous rival.” Ayn Rad, from the book “We are the Living.”

Is there a difference between male and female charm?

All of the above qualities can be inherent in a person, regardless of his gender. However, there are some differences between the charisma of women and men.

Which girl can be considered charismatic? Most likely, that representative of the fair sex who knows how to charm, flirt moderately, her intelligence is quite high, she knows how to support any conversation.

More than 100 cool lessons, tests and exercises for brain development

Start developing

Often, charisma in a woman is determined by another person’s subjective view of her. For example, one man will consider a mysterious and reserved person as such, while another will consider a sociable and emotional lady charismatic.

It’s about the same with representatives of the stronger half. Traditionally, confident, persistent, responsible men endowed with eloquence are recognized as bright and charismatic. They are true to their word, leaders by nature, they know how to listen, but they only go their own way.

What is charisma in a man?

In all sorts of pickup courses, men are taught to meet and start relationships with women using various psychological techniques. But they will never work if the man doesn't have charisma.

A man’s charisma in a relationship is a combination of qualities that most often attract women:

• attentiveness;
• ability to listen and hear;
• reliability;
• responsibility;
• interest in communication;
• determination;
• sense of style;
• confidence in yourself and your actions.

When it comes to a career, a certain persistence, self-confidence and all other qualities that are also characteristic of women are important for men.

“You just have to be charismatic and talk to people, even if you don’t want to. Put on a happy face and go. Be bolder. Don't be a weakling." – Evan Peters, American actor.

How does innate charisma differ from acquired charisma?

An innate quality is considered to be a property that a person demonstrates from early childhood. Those people who, due to their professional activities, are faced with a large number of very tiny children, notice that it is impossible to take your eyes off some babies. Of course, there can be no talk of any set of non-verbal methods of behavior in such a situation.

However, many children who did not stand out in infancy later begin to attract attention and evoke tenderness and admiration. As a rule, those behavioral features that caused delight among others are fixed in the subconscious and become reflexive.

This happens especially often with little girls, who then grow into adult women and continue to enjoy everyone's attention, just as in early childhood. Thus, to put it as simply as possible, a charismatic woman is a girl who successfully smiled or otherwise touched adults

That is, every child can grow up with charisma, you just need to give him confidence in his own irresistibility. For example, the most charismatic women never admit the possibility that they might leave someone indifferent. These ladies don’t fight such thoughts, don’t drive them away, they simply don’t think like that. The possibility of remaining unnoticed does not initially appear in the mind of a woman with charisma. If you tell a lady who has this quality that some people are not noticed in public places, she will be very surprised.

Acquired charisma, cultivated in oneself already in adulthood, is the result of long and extremely difficult work on oneself. This work is not about controlling weight or teaching yourself to be neat, but about changing your type of thinking, breaking conditioned reflexes and stereotypes.

Acquired charisma differs from innate charisma in that the woman who possesses it, as well as the man, have a pronounced trait, a feature, with the help of which they become the epicenter of attention. This could be a sense of humor or quick reaction, the way of holding a cup or quiet, insinuating speech, the ability to play musical instruments or something else. In any case, if you have acquired charisma, you can always list the qualities that distinguish its owner from other people.

How to understand whether you are a charismatic person or not

In different areas of life, charisma is defined differently:

1. In a love relationship. If they value you, say that it’s interesting to be with you, and try to spend more time with you, you probably have charisma. In addition, charismatics are much more likely to be noticed by people of the opposite sex than others.
2. At work. If you are often asked for help, your manager is interested in your opinion on various issues, and in general you feel like a significant part of the company, most likely, it’s all about not only your professionalism, but also your charisma.
3. In friendship. If you often have guests, friends constantly invite you to all sorts of events, and in general you are the life of the party - this indicates a high level of charisma.

There are other signs by which you can understand whether you are charismatic or not:

• open attitude towards people;
• the desire to always achieve results and complete what was started;
• honesty and sincerity;
• complete dedication to what you love.

There are certain skills that charismatic people tend to use. If you know a lot of interesting stories and anecdotes, know how to ask rhetorical questions in a timely and correct manner, and have unshakable moral convictions, you are probably one of them.

How does it manifest itself?

Let's consider what qualities distinguish charismatic people from others.

• High emotional intelligence

On our blog you can read what emotional intelligence is and how to develop it. Here I will just briefly explain that EQ is the ability to manage your emotions and express empathy, that is, to show sensitivity and understanding towards others.

• Public Speaking Skills

Charisma directly implies excellent command of one’s speech, the ability to win over oneself and convince listeners of the correctness of one’s statements. Such a person knows how to insert a funny joke or story into a topic at the right time, masters metaphors, expressed intonation, facial expressions, and gestures.

• Self confidence

Such people have healthy self-esteem, are confident in their strengths and talents, know what they want and what needs to be done for it. You want to follow the leaders and follow their example.

By the way, on our blog there is an article about how to become a leader. I recommend reading it.

• Communication skills

A charismatic person can find an approach to every interlocutor: both a positive one and an opponent.

A simple charisma test

It can be difficult to determine whether a person is charismatic or just a matter of charm. But you can take tests yourself that will give you a clearer understanding. They can be found on the Internet.

There is also a test by H. Friedman, a professor at the University of California. It is considered more or less reliable and consists of 13 points.

For each statement, add from 1 to 9 points depending on how close it is to you. For example, 9 points – definitely about you, 5 – 50/50, 1-3 – not at all about you.

These are the questions:

1. I am prone to tactile contact if I like the person.
2. When I laugh, those around me inadvertently start laughing too, even if they don’t know the reason for my laughter.
3. I easily express my emotions: both in real communication and on the phone.
4. I have expressive facial expressions.
5. I like to stand out from the crowd.
6. I often touch my interlocutor during a conversation.
7. I like to be the center of attention.
8. People often tell me that I would make a good actor.
9. I love playing games where you have to pretend to be someone. For example, in "Crocodile".
10. At entertainment events I am usually the center of attention.
11. If desired, I can make my eyes and voice seductive.
12. I start dancing every time I hear good music. Even if I'm on the street.
13. I am not shy around strangers.

The average level of charisma is from 56 to 86 points. It is typical for most people. Anything below 56 is a low level. Only a few get scores above 86.

Examples of charismatic people

Both positive and negative leaders can be charismatic, using their talent for harmful purposes.

The positive ones include:

Charlotte Gainsbourg. She herself has repeatedly said that she does not like her own appearance. But director Lars von Trier has a different opinion, and quite often invites the actress to star in his films.

Uma Thurman. She is tall, has size 42 feet, a heavy look and a large forehead, but this did not stop her from starring in several films by Quentin Tarantino.

Lady Gaga. The singer, on the contrary, is short in stature, and in childhood she was considered an “ugly duckling.” However, it is known all over the world and always attracts full houses.

Adriano Celentano. The actor hardly meets modern beauty standards, but still remains a favorite of the public, including women. Even after 80 years.

This list can also include Elon Musk, Bill Gates, and many other famous personalities.

A striking example of negative charisma is Adolf Hitler. Yes, he knew how to persuade and gathered a huge army, his followers stood behind him like a mountain, but nothing good came of it. He caused a lot of pain both to the German people and to the whole world.

What happens: examples from life and cinema

Charisma does not depend on the moral and ethical side of the individual. It can be both positive and negative.

A prime example of negative charisma is the Nazi leader Adolf Hitler. He was an exceptionally charismatic person and had an almost hypnotic effect on the public.

Negative movie characters can also be charming. Remember Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter from The Silence of the Lambs? The American Film Institute voted him the best movie villain of all time.

Other examples from films:

• Heath Ledger as the Joker in The Dark Knight;
• Jack Nicholson in the film “The Shining”;
• Meryl Streep in the comedy-drama “The Devil Wears Prada”;
• Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow in the Pirates of the Caribbean film series.

Examples of famous charismatic people from life:

• Mahatma Gandhi;
• Martin Luther King;
• Napoleon;
• Vladimir Lenin;
• Joseph Stalin;
• Steve Jobs.

Examples of positive and negative charisma

Let's look at some practical examples of positive charisma:

1. The manager knows how to organize work competently. There is a calm atmosphere in the team, all problems and issues are resolved one-on-one with those concerned. When discussing shortcomings in his work, he never gets personal. The team tries to work towards results, if only for the sake of not upsetting them.
2. The coach gathers a lot of people for intensive courses and courses, knows how to present information competently, and treats people sensitively and with understanding. As a result, clients’ self-esteem increases, they find a purpose in life, and get rid of tension.
3. A volunteer helps refugees who fled the war. As a result, people are drawn to him, knowing that they will at least receive moral support.

Sometimes charisma is not enough - in some situations it is also important to know psychological techniques. But pure psychology without charisma will not work 100%.

Negative charisma is the ability to manipulate people to achieve your goals. Most often – selfish ones. Such a leader knows how to persuade, but as a result, everything turns out to have negative consequences for those who succumbed to manipulation.

Afterword

Charismatic people easily make friends and admirers, but to do this you need to be sociable and friendly, polite and pleasant. Charisma has nothing to do with unhealthy egoism.

Don't forget about appearance and image. Think about your personal style and follow it. Be neat. And yes, it has nothing to do with fashion or branded items. Any person can be stylish and visually attractive.

Charisma is the key to a successful and happy life. Study yourself and people, learn to look at the world positively. Become a good specialist and a wonderful person, be a unique person. By the way, they are not born, but become.

How to develop charisma in yourself?

You can enroll in public speaking courses, where you will learn to be the center of attention in a few months. But you can do without them if you follow a few recommendations:

1. Set goals and develop self-confidence.
2. Give a speech. She must be competent, clear and confident.
3. Maintain discipline.
4. Don't stop halfway - don't quit what you started.
5. Learn to treat your shortcomings ironically. Learn to laugh at your own failures, and then others will not notice them.

There is also an interesting exercise. Stand in front of a full-length mirror and talk to an imaginary audience. At first you will feel tight, but then you will see all the shortcomings: poor posture, inexpressive facial expressions. Write it down and be sure to work through it. If you do this every day for 15-20 minutes, over time you will be able to confidently speak in front of a real audience.