Hypocrisy is what it is in simple words, a hypocritical and two-faced person, an example of people

A hypocrite is a cunning and insincere person. He pretends to be kind and enjoys the trust of others.

Such a person is sincere with some people, but laughs evilly at others. Likes to gossip behind one's back.

Hypocrite - who is it?

Ostentatious simplicity is subtle hypocrisy.
Francois de La Rochefoucauld

1. How can you tell if you are a hypocrite?
2. How to react to a hypocritical person?
3. How to deal with hypocrisy within yourself?

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What is hypocrisy

It is convenient for a person to wear a mask behind which he hides his true state of mind.
Hypocrisy is a person’s tendency to change his opinion, wanting to benefit from it. Hypocrisy can also be a kind of manifestation of a person’s personal complexes.

Hypocrisy is the antonym of sincerity and is manifested in the fact that a person spreads rumors and gossip about his friends. The basis of this behavior is the survival instinct.

In psychology, this term denotes a person’s desire to hide his negative attitude towards one or another individual, or malicious intent, under an advantageous, socially approved mask.

In pedagogy, hypocrisy is understood as a low level of education. Famous teachers are convinced that with the right approach to education, a child will not grow up to be a hypocrite.

Communication between comrades based on lies and hypocrisy

Hypocrisy as a reflection of today

Who is a hypocrite - an unhappy person, entangled in his own lies, or a scoundrel-pretender, using others for his own purposes?

The realities of the modern world, in which leading positions are occupied by prestige, power, money and other so-called attributes of material happiness, push a person to such behavior. Many people try to be comfortable, obsequious, pleasant conversationalists. This is done for a variety of reasons:

get into a good company of wealthy comrades;
serve your boss, expecting bonuses from him;
give a compliment in hopes of a discount.

There are many reasons to do this. Getting used to receiving this or that benefit in this way, a person does not notice how firmly he falls into the trap of hypocrisy.

S. Freud wrote that modern society is too changeable and fickle. And it forces a person to be a hypocrite, adapting to the ideals that are set before him. La Rochefoucauld, in turn, warns that, once a person gets used to pretending in front of people, he cannot stop. Then he begins to pretend to himself.

Differences and similarities of lies and hypocrisy

Duplicity has much in common with deception, but it is impossible to equate these negative personality traits. These two vices have both similarities and fundamental differences.

A deceiver lies to make his life easier. The hypocrite also lies, but he pursues another goal - obtaining benefits. In addition, a liar knows that he is behaving incorrectly, while a hypocrite sees nothing wrong in his actions. A deceiver tries to confirm his words with specific actions, which a hypocrite never does.

The similarity between a deceiver and a two-faced person is that neither one nor the other strives to be sincere with their communication partners. If exposed, these people will try to justify themselves and reduce everything to a banal misunderstanding.

Asya Rakhovich

Psychologist with more than 8 years of experience. Consultant on interpersonal and marital relationships, self-discovery.

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Duplicity and personality

Personality is a set of certain qualities of an individual. Based on the semantics of the word, two-faced - having two faces. To understand how duplicity is formed, let’s touch on the concept of personality structure. Jung and Freud said that personality consists of the conscious, the unconscious and the collective unconscious. All complexes belong to the category of the unconscious; it can be assumed that duplicity too, since it is formed due to internal conflicts, fears and contradictions. Personal conflict occurs only within the individual; it is associated with the human psyche. Such conflict is the basis for changes in personality.

Types of hypocrisy

Since a negative personality trait manifests itself differently in different people, in the course of experimental studies, scientists tried to distinguish between the typical behavior patterns of hypocrites. Psychologists classify duplicity as follows:

Moral duplicity. Such a person strives to make a positive impression on others, he is vain. The individual ascribes to himself moral qualities that he does not possess, talks about sublime deeds, presenting himself as a hero, although in reality he has never committed them. There are not always evil intentions behind such behavior; sometimes such a hypocrite simply cannot find the strength to behave differently.
Moral weakness. This type is based on weak moral principles of the individual. Such people tend to justify their unseemly actions by a coincidence of circumstances, by the lack of opportunity to act differently.
Duality of standards. An individual with this form of hypocrisy does not see anything wrong in his actions. However, he condemns similar actions of others. A hypocrite with double standards will always find an excuse for his unseemly behavior, but he will never accept the excuses of those around him.

What is hypocrisy?

Most often, a pretender is not easy to recognize immediately. The deception is revealed after everything that is needed is received from the victim. Or it happens by accident. Therefore, in life you may need practical advice on how to recognize a hypocrite. Attentiveness and healthy skepticism will help here - you should not take for granted everything you hear from unfamiliar people, especially if they are talking about themselves. Learn to distrust - it has helped many people avoid unpleasant situations. First you need to take a closer look at the person, observe his actions, and only then draw your own conclusions.

Signs of hypocrisy:

Different behavior when surrounded by friends, colleagues, or at home;
Words and statements do not match actions;
Accusations directed at others and complete justification of one’s own actions;
When exposed, hypocrites deny their own claims, making up excuses as they go;
The victim image that hypocrites like to wear evokes pity among others and allows them to manipulate others.

There is a category of people who are in a hurry to help others, do charity work, sign up as volunteers and in every way create the image of “Mother Teresa”. Why did we mention these people making the world a better place? Because, looking at some very “correct” people, the question arises: is altruism hypocrisy or not?

It would seem, where do such thoughts come from, since the guys are making every effort for the benefit of those around them? They are ready to share their last shirt with a homeless person and donate all the money to help poor homeless animals. This is true, but not always. Most young people do this out of sincere and pure motives, but not all. So-called altruism may be false, and all good deeds are done for self-affirmation.

Lies and hypocrisy are not combined with real sincerity. The pretender will serve a bowl of soup to a homeless person with a smile on his face, seething with hatred and contempt in his soul. A kind grandson takes care of an elderly granny who dotes on him, and he does it only for the sake of the apartment. And if grandma leaves an inheritance to someone other than him during her lifetime, the dear grandson will turn into a cruel tyrant capable of killing the unfortunate old lady.

Hypocrite people show their true colors in extreme circumstances. If you have suspicions, create an unusual and provocative situation that allegedly threatens the well-being of the pretender. He will quickly lose his composure and you will see his true intentions.

History of the term

Even during the primitive communal system, people learned to be hypocrites. Scientists are sure that the hypocritical instinct is inherent in humans by nature. Of course, this behavioral feature appeared earlier than the special term by which this personal quality was called.

The term for this personality trait originated in Ancient Rome. At that time, girls playing various roles in the theater were called hypocrites. In a literal sense, this word meant “to try on different faces, to appear in different images, to wear a mask.”

The roots of hypocrisy should be sought in ancient theatrical art

The Greeks also had the word “hypocrisy”, using which they wanted to say that a person was behaving artificially, pretending.

Now this term denotes such human behavior in which a clear contradiction is revealed between his external actions and personal beliefs. Synonymous concepts for this personality trait are:

falsehood - insincerity in behavior, falsity (the term is used in psychology when there is a need to indicate the discrepancy between a person’s words and his facial reactions);
guile is a negative character trait, expressed in the fact that a person displays cunning, flattery, and intrigue when communicating with loved ones;
pretense – conscious actions of a person aimed at misleading interlocutors;
hypocrisy is a demonstrative model of pious behavior of an individual who in reality does not follow religious principles and does not show piety in everyday life;
deception – deliberate concealment of true information, distortion of facts;
two-facedness is a psychological strategy of human behavior in which the words and actions of an individual diverge from his personal beliefs.

Hypocrisy is just easier

The problem is, practicing what you preach or maintaining a high moral standard is work, it's work. If you tell people to give money to charity or to abstain from certain indulgences, then that means you should do it too. But what if you just told everyone what to do, and how to do it right, but for some reason you didn’t do it yourself?

People tend to favor the principle of least effort, often known as the “path of least resistance,” which means they will take whatever option requires the least amount of effort. Hypocrisy allows you to appear principled without being so, which is much easier than sticking to strict principles. Some modern politicians seem to have realized this fact, making big speeches about all the great things they do and then often doing none of them.

There are some advantages, of course. Some research suggests that when called upon to practice hypocrisy, people may end up being more committed to the beliefs and practices they previously claimed to hold. So don't be afraid to point out hypocrisy when you see it, you may be doing something good overall.

Intuitively, it seems that we may dislike hypocrites because their words are inconsistent with their behavior, because they lack the self-control to behave in accordance with their own moral standards, or because they knowingly engage in behavior that is they know is morally wrong. All of these explanations seem plausible, but new research suggests that it is the distortion of their moral character that causes dissonance that really makes us angry.

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Psychologist, hypnologist Natalya Korshunova ©

Who is a hypocrite in simple words

A hypocrite is a two-faced individual who lacks sincerity in his judgments and views. Such a person tries to hide his own immoral actions under good intentions. But the hypocrite will condemn similar immoral actions of those around him.

A hypocrite in life tries to appear to be someone he really is not.

Two-faced people are rightfully considered manipulators. After all, they know where the interlocutor’s weak point is, therefore, wanting to achieve their goal, they blackmail, play on feelings and prejudices.

Origin of the word

Who is a hypocrite? The answer is often associated with the theater. The meaning of a word is related to the action that took place in it. In the ancient Greek theater, actors during the performance expressed the feelings of the hero by wearing certain masks. This was done in order to evoke the right emotions in the public.

The meaning of the word “hypocrite” in Russian is associated with two ancient Slavic words: “face” (“face”) and “mena” (“men”). Literally, this combination can be interpreted as a change of face masks. Later, the second component began to be pronounced as a measure. As a result, hypocrisy acquired its modern sound and meaning.

Signs of a hypocrite

You can recognize a hypocrite by their characteristic behavior patterns. Hypocrites have the following characteristics:

a hypocritical person promises a lot and does little (but at the same time reacts painfully to the failure to fulfill promises given to him);
a two-faced person is well versed in social psychology, knows how to sense the mood of his interlocutor and skillfully plays along with him;
such people love to brag, they are characterized by vanity (such people often invent reasons for boasting, because they have very few actual personal achievements);
a hypocritical person ingratiates himself with successful people through deception and flattery (they are driven by banal envy);
they are often confused in their own lies, so they can present different texts of the same story (they do not feel remorse when a contradiction in their words is pointed out to them, brushing off reproaches);
two-faced people do not know how to keep other people's secrets (but at the same time they condemn those who spread other people's secrets);
It is difficult for them to refrain from exaggerating facts and distorting information, even if they know that others can expose their deception;
two-faced people are not able to admit their guilt and ask for forgiveness from a person (therefore, as a rule, they do not have strong friendships that have been tested over the years);
two-faced people constantly criticize others, they tend to cling to any little things and shortcomings of others;
Such individuals cannot admit their own mistakes (when mistakes are pointed out to them, they get offended, and sometimes even completely and irrevocably break off relations with a straightforward person who decided to point out a flaw);
hypocritical people tend to collect and spread gossip and rumors (often they invent them themselves);
they do not respect simple straightforward people;
They tend to want to teach others, point out their mistakes and mistakes;
hypocrites are sensitive to criticism (which is why they often have tense relationships with their superiors);
such individuals strive to evoke pity and sympathy, they often put pressure on feelings in the process of interpersonal communication;
true hypocrites will not say something good about a person if he is not nearby at the time of the conversation, since they are not able to truly admire successful individuals and their talents;
a person who is accustomed to being a hypocrite is in no hurry to come to the rescue in a difficult situation (he justifies himself by saying that he does not have the required skills, capabilities, and is also confident that at a critical moment there will certainly be someone else next to the person in need who can provide help) ;
if he is approached with a request, he immediately remembers urgent matters, declaring that he would certainly help, but now he needs to run;
he can offer his help if he is sure that the person will refuse it, but he will not be particularly zealous in this, fearing that the person will suddenly change his position;
When helping someone, they expect gratitude and benefits, so they will certainly remind you for a long time about the service provided.

External signs also reveal a hypocrite:

when he smiles, there are no facial folds on his face;
when he smiles, his eyes remain sharp, cold, indifferent;
during communication, his eyebrows remain motionless;
he compresses his lips tightly;
in the process of communication, the hypocrite’s posture is usually closed;
often his hands make uncontrolled movements.

To learn to accurately identify hypocritical people in one’s own environment, a person needs to develop his emotional intelligence.

How to understand that you are a hypocrite?

No person likes to be deceived or used.
Therefore, let’s figure out how to distinguish a hypocritical person from a sincere one. What points should you pay attention to? So, a hypocrite is a person who:

Gossips a lot about others.
A hypocritical person only says bad things about the people around him. He is trying to condemn them in order to look better against this background. Hypocrites are stingy with praise, but generous and rich in criticism.
Doesn't have a sincere smile.
Even when a two-faced person smiles, his eyes remain glassy, his facial muscles are tense, and his skin turns red.
The timbre of his voice may give him away.
Such people often stumble, stutter, and take long pauses in conversations.
They curry favor with the powers that be.
To bosses, officials or teachers, hypocritical people will emphasize their respect. But behind their backs, they will actively criticize the actions of their authority.
He often deceives.
If a person has been caught lying several times, then you have a hypocrite. It is better to stay as far away from such people as possible.
He cannot and does not want to keep his promises.
They do this because of their duplicity or basic laziness.

Two-faced people always strive to please everyone.
They always agree with their interlocutors and nod their heads approvingly. They try not to enter into conflict, and if a breakdown occurs, they try to hush everything up as quickly as possible, attributing everything to a misunderstanding. Communication as a way of exposure

Reasons for hypocrisy

Hypocrisy occurs in a person due to the following reasons:

excessive demands on the child from parents, unfair and cruel methods of education;
unconscious copying of parents' behavior patterns by children;
low self-esteem of the individual;
self-interest, the desire to obtain material benefits, benefits;
evil intentions of the individual;
low level of human upbringing caused by errors in education;
lack of a system of moral guidelines in humans;
fear of condemnation or punishment from influential people;
the desire to make your life easier, because it is not always easy and pleasant to tell people the truth;
the desire to please a friend, boss or business partner;
adolescence, during which a person tries on certain roles and masks;
the desire to make a good impression, to win over;
the desire to comply with the moral norms and rules of society;
a person’s desire to avoid conflicts and maintain friendly relations with superiors, colleagues, neighbors, and relatives;
the desire to avoid retribution for one’s actions;
fear of hurting the soul of a loved one;

Despite the fact that every person has the prerequisites for the development of a negative character trait, duplicity is not characteristic of everyone. If a boy or girl from childhood is accustomed to setting humane goals for themselves, their negative character traits will be under conscious control. A person with a high level of moral development will not allow himself to commit inhumane acts.

How to react to a hypocritical person and how to confront him

When we encounter some undesirable traits in others, we too often try to do something. In reality, action is not always reasonable and justified. Christ read his speech denouncing the Pharisees for the reason that he considered their role detrimental to the true spiritual development of all people. Most likely this is an exception to the rule. There is no need to try to change someone or fight with someone without any particular reason. We must understand, remember, but not resist. It is impossible to deceive someone who firmly sees how everything really is. And in any case, our behavior should be reasonable and not contradict personal principles of morality and ethics.

If a hypocrite encounters a lack of emotion in the audience of his psychological performance, then he loses the point of continuing his game. The best way to treat him is to ignore all his efforts

Pros and cons of hypocrisy

Hypocrisy does not always bring only harm to others and the two-faced person himself. This character trait also has a positive meaning.

Advantages and disadvantages

hypocrisy allows you to avoid sharp corners in a conversation;

this personality trait helps to avoid conflict;

Hypocrisy is used when one does not want to offend the interlocutor.

if a person is accustomed to being a hypocrite, he will not apologize, knowing that he has offended the person;

duplicity is characteristic of selfish people;

The hypocrite does not have strong friendships, since he is not capable of sincere positive feelings;

hypocrites are susceptible to developing diseases of the cardiovascular system;

they are often diagnosed with gastrointestinal disorders;

a hypocrite suffers from envy; it hinders him not only in the personal sphere, but also in the professional sphere.

Since hypocrisy has positive aspects, it means that people who have weakly expressed this character trait should develop it. To do this you need:

learn to smile in critical and conflict situations;
convince the suffering person that everything will be fine, all problems can be solved;
hide your negative emotions and those around you.

Each person decides for himself whether to be a hypocrite, focusing on the situation

Hypocrite's Reckoning

Such behavior, like any other, sooner or later bears fruit. The desire of a hypocrite to take advantage of people, pursuing his own interests and abusing their trust, will not lead him to anything good. Achieving goals through deception, replacing true motives with false ones, manipulating, such a person can hardly become truly happy, since such fruits do not bear positive fruit.

The payoff can be anything:

mistrust of friends and relatives;
disappointment of loved ones;
cooling of relations with relatives;
suspicion of the authorities.

The list goes on and on. But the most alarming symptom is the loss of oneself. Then the hypocrite can no longer feel real, sincere, honest not only with people, but also with himself.

Attitude towards hypocrisy in religion

In all religious teachings, hypocrisy is considered a sinful characteristic of man.

The Orthodox religion believes that hypocrisy came to man from the devil. To follow the righteous path, such an individual needs to cleanse his soul through confession, numerous services and prayers.

In Islam, hypocritical persons are called munafiks. They believe that the munafik does not deserve any benefits, since he is the “last man” in society.

The sacred scriptures of Judaism require the removal of hypocritical people from religion.

The moral foundations of any society are based on religious values. In Sunday schools, clergy encourage students to be merciful, sincere, and to show compassion for loved ones. That is why many teachers are convinced that the religious views of parents and their piety will contribute to the formation of a true citizen of society.

How to get rid of hypocrisy

To eradicate a negative character trait in yourself, you need to be patient. You can cope with it only with the help of a strong will. You need to start self-correction by recognizing the problem. The main method of eliminating a negative personality trait will be total self-control.

To overcome an unpleasant personality trait in yourself, you need to:

Learn to enjoy life, enjoy communicating with different people.
Instead of collecting gossip and rumors, you should engage in your own self-development and professional growth. The more personal achievements a person has, the less will be his need to invent them.
Systematically engage in sports, yoga, meditation. Such activities transform not only the body, but also the soul.
Communicate with those people who inspire admiration. Such people emanate positive energy, which transforms a person’s consciousness and personal attitudes.

It is very difficult to get rid of hypocrisy

How to disarm a hypocrite

To disarm a hypocrite you need to:

be natural in behavior and actions;
consciously form and protect your own system of life principles and values;
increase self-esteem;
adhere to strict consistency and logic in everyday actions and when performing professional duties;
be as honest as possible when communicating with friends, relatives and colleagues.

By engaging in self-improvement and cultivating moral principles in oneself, a person attracts positive people with high moral principles. Hypocrites do not choose such individuals as their victims.

How to deal with a hypocrite?

There are different degrees of duplicity, and the reasons for hypocrisy are always different. If you understand what a hypocrite is, then you know that most people resort to such behavior not out of malice, but out of habit or fear. Besides, no one is perfect. You can't judge people for being duplicitous, because we are all insincere sometimes for various reasons.

If you notice that a person is bragging and taking credit for certain skills or achievements, most likely he is doing this so as not to look like a loser. He has a complex about real achievements, so he tries to exaggerate them. If at the same time he does not spread gossip and does not criticize anyone, then simply let him wear this “mask” and paint the picture of reality that he likes.

If you see that a person is changing his behavior in order to gain trust, be careful with him. Don't trust him with secrets, try to talk about neutral topics. If you notice a tendency towards hypocrisy in a loved one, try to get him to be as sincere as possible with you. Convince him that he can trust you. In this case, even if he maintains his duplicity with other people, he will be honest and open in communicating with you.

An excellent way to develop your communication skills with hypocritical people (as well as other unpleasant personality types) is the Emotional Intelligence course from Vikium. It consists of 20 lessons and is designed to develop skills for effectively interacting with people. This course will help you:
resolve conflicts effectively;
maintain equanimity in difficult situations;
notice signs of deception during dialogues;
learn to manage your emotions;
increase self-confidence;

Emotional intelligence is the skill of identifying, understanding and managing your emotions, as well as recognizing the emotions of others.

After training you will be able to:

detect lies at work and in your personal life;
see empathy and the manifestation of hidden emotions;
“read” the interlocutor;
do not show your emotions;
see manipulation;
establish personal relationships;

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev. He is the director of Paul Ekman International in Russia. Paul Ekman is a world expert in the psychology of emotions, deception detection and nonverbal behavior.