The term “selfishness” is familiar to many people. At the everyday level, this is understood to mean that a selfish person thinks only about himself and nothing more. But there is also a healthy component to this phenomenon; it lies in love and respect for oneself. The main thing here is the measure that must be observed. In any conflicts and disputes, the egoist acts as his inner voice tells him.
Sometimes these can be very offensive and inappropriate things, but what can you do? Going head over heels in defiance of everything and everyone is also typical for such people. When and under what circumstances can a representative of the fair sex be said to be selfish? At first, a girl may seem quite sweet and kind, but her nature only emerges after some time.
Egoist and society i
It’s a good time for a selfish representative to not take the initiative in communication. Alya - let the one who needs it start, I don’t need anything. This entails a number of problems associated with adaptation in society. The manifested arrogance does not allow her to meet people first. After all, a selfish woman has such conceit. But the desire to look good in the eyes does not go away; helping someone who asks for help will not be such an impossible task. People are not eager to ask for help from an arrogant woman and, under any pretext, try to avoid fulfilling her requests.
Step-by-step instructions for getting rid of unhealthy egoism
The habit of putting oneself above others, first of all, prevents its owner from living fully, objectively assessing one’s capabilities and abilities, and building harmonious relationships.
Step 1: look for the cause
The first step towards getting rid of selfishness is to find the reason for this behavior. Psychologists say that selfishness comes from thoughts and beliefs, so you should turn to past events in your life and try to find the reason for excessive self-love. Most often this is:
- excess or lack of parental attention in childhood;
- defensive reaction to negative events;
- childhood trauma;
- difficulties in interacting with the team in preschool and school years.
Step 2: Admit there is a problem
The next important step is to accept that you have a problem. Awareness is already half the success in the fight against unhealthy egoism. Analyze your past actions without judgment or panic, there is no need to blame yourself or justify yourself. At this stage, it is important to simply acknowledge the problem by looking at yourself from the outside.
Step 3: Use Selfishness Techniques
At the beginning of your journey, it will not be easy for you, because the habit of perceiving the world from an egoistic position has developed over the years. But the following recommendations from psychologists will help you get rid of selfishness.
- Look on the positive side
When you ask your friends why they still hang out with you, ask them to name your good qualities. Knowing your strengths will help you motivate yourself to change your behavior.
- Don't be shy to ask for help
. Ask your friends to help you by pointing out situations in which you were selfish, because knowing your reaction can help you take steps to prevent such situations in the future.
- Help others
. Even a small involvement in other people's problems can give you a feeling of happiness and a feeling of being part of the world. If desired, take a course in psychology to master assistive techniques at a professional level and advise those in need.
- Think about the consequences of your selfish behavior
. Knowing how your behavior can negatively impact other people will give you an incentive to seek alternative solutions in future situations that arise.
- Learn to listen to other people
. Try not to talk about yourself in the dialogue, ask your interlocutor leading questions. Even if it seems hypocritical at first, over time you will learn to be genuinely interested in more than just yourself.
- Try to live in the moment
. Often, selfishness is a consequence of uncertainty and fear for one’s future, which is why it is so important to learn to live, as they say, here and now. Try to accept the simple fact that reality is only the current moment, and you need to be able to enjoy it without regard to illusions about the immediate future.
- Give thanks to others
. Egoists may not notice the efforts and achievements of other people, take care of themselves for granted, and assign all the credit to their loved one. Are you used to always having order at home? Don't you think this fact is worthy of your gratitude? But clean floors and a hot lunch don’t just appear out of thin air - this is how your loved ones take care of you, and have long deserved your gratitude. Don’t be lazy to say “thank you” to your family members, work colleagues, service personnel, even for minor care.
- Learn to give in
. Compromise decisions will help you see the needs of other people and learn to accept them.
- Get a pet
. Caring for a small pet will help you feel the joy of a sincere need for someone, and gradually you will learn to selflessly give warmth to a living being.
- Make new friends.
Meeting people of different social status will help correct the illusory idea of the lives of others, teach you to enjoy simple things and gain real values.
- Try to accept the fact that material wealth is fragile
. Expensive things, cars can break down and wear out. Think about whether these temporary benefits are worth the cost of your efforts.
Behavior with your loved one 2
It is very difficult to communicate and generally conduct a dialogue with an egoist; there are constant squabbles and raised voices. The behavior of such a girl during a conversation with a man boils down to the fact that she:
- Always stands your ground;
- Never gives in;
- Doesn't trust the man;
- Questions his words;
- Pursues only its own interests in all disputes and conflicts;
- Doesn't know how to give in;
- Reproaches a man for not being good enough.
Does the list seem small? These are not all the things that can be observed in communication with a selfish person. This can greatly offend men; not everyone can stand such an attitude towards themselves. In general, in order to withstand this, you probably need to love the girl very much.
Around her 4
People who think only about themselves love to attract attention, especially girls. Therefore, there is always a lively excitement around such a person. People are attracted to this mystery and mystery, because these are adventures, and they always end in an interesting way. Women's charm and artistry give men great hopes, which are subsequently destroyed by the barrier of egoism.
Literature that will help
Let's talk about our and foreign books that will help build healthy relationships and get rid of manifestations of selfishness:
- Baranova Svetlana “Egoism as a destructive component of the human being”;
- Rakhimov Ravil “Getting rid of pride”, training book;
- Svetomirov Alexey “How to get rid of selfishness and be happy”;
- Sinelnikov Valery “Getting rid of pride”;
- U. Yuri “Agree with yourself and other worthy opponents”;
- Radhanatha Swami "The Journey Home (Autobiography of an American Yogi)."
Take note and remember that an egoist may lose the ability to adequately perceive the world and people around him, and this will inevitably lead to a decrease in the quality of life. Learning to truly evaluate yourself and others again is the key to a new, fulfilling life.
What person doesn't love freedom?8
Live your whole life within the framework of some social principles? Also, by the way, again, the opinion that a woman owes and is obliged to do something is fading away. Yes, with freedom comes responsibility for your life, but it’s better to decide for yourself than for someone else to decide for you. The ability to take risks, think, plan and hope makes life brighter and richer; only at such moments does a person understand what he really wants from life.
How selfishness manifests itself in women
Female egoism is characterized by the fact that a woman does anything but what is really important for the health of her body and mental state.
This manifests itself through 2 types of behavior.
Type 1: A woman gives 90% of her attention and care to others, leaving herself, her desires and needs for last, if there is time.
Example:
A woman came home from work and ran into the grocery store on the way. I quickly changed my clothes and started preparing dinner. She fed the household and washed the dishes. I vacuumed the house and threw things into the washing machine. While they were being washed, I helped my son do his homework. Around 10 pm I remembered that I needed to iron my clothes for tomorrow. At the same time, I stroked everything that was waiting for its turn. I went to bed at 1 am and will have to get up at 7 am tomorrow.
Weekends are busy with things that you don’t have time to do on weekdays. General cleaning, laundry, walk with the children, prepare food, go to the store to buy new sneakers for my son, the old ones are completely torn, and so on. After all, only by caring for others can you be a good wife and mother.
At this pace of life, a woman forgets that she wanted to make an appointment with a massage therapist, because her lower back hurts and has been dragging for a month. That an interesting exhibition had recently arrived, and I really wanted to go there. That a friend invited me to sit and chat in my favorite cafe. And just take a bath with aromatic oils for half an hour.
Type 2: A woman directs 90% of her attention to indulging her whims and desires, which are aimed at maintaining the artificial image of a “beauty,” “business woman,” “status lady,” etc.
Example:
A woman’s morning begins with classes at a fitness club and a trip to a beauty salon, a scheduled appointment with a cosmetologist, a manicure and pedicure, because you need to look appropriate for your status. For lunch I chose and prepared a vegan menu for the whole family - a healthy lifestyle is fashionable now. The husband and daughter, although they are grimacing, are eating, and what else can they do?
After lunch I took my daughter to music school and then to ballet. The girl must receive a proper education.
I ordered dinner for delivery from a healthy food restaurant from Pierre Duroy, he is very popular in their circle.
At the same time, the beauty is not at all interested in the wishes of her husband and daughter, does not pay attention to them and does not give spiritual care.
Conclusion:
Women's selfishness is more complex than men's, but just as destructive to relationships. A woman of the first type devotes herself entirely to caring for others, while forgetting about herself and becoming physically and spiritually exhausted, which leads to irritation, claims and reproaches.
A woman of the second type is busy only with what is important for maintaining her image and status, absolutely not taking into account her real needs and the wishes of her loved ones, which ultimately also leads to exhaustion, irritability, claims and reproaches.
Further, female egoism leads a woman either into depression or into bitchiness.
Exit:
In order for a woman to come out of a state of selfishness, it is important to remember her needs and fill herself with strength and rest in a timely and correct manner.
If she is exhausted, then from a state of lack she begins to “vampire” those around her, creating an unbearable atmosphere around herself, thus trying to subconsciously replenish her reserve of strength.
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