Family relationships: the secret to a happy marriage

Psychology of family relationships is a branch of science that allows you to understand the essence of the definition of family and marriage, types of interactions between family members, causes of conflicts and other factors, according to which it is possible to adjust your behavior and improve relationships with loved ones. The family can be represented in the form of a model, and the types of this social institution, its functions and cycles of family relations can be clearly examined.

Family psychology is

The psychology of family and family relationships studies the peculiarities of human development in the established environment, relationships with other family members and the mechanisms of adaptation of each specific cell of society in society.

The information obtained allows us to draw a conclusion about the health status of the small group and the presence of family pathology. In practice, this information is used to provide psychological assistance to members of society. The information available to science allows us to formulate correct psychological and social programs and prepare professionals to coordinate the relationships of family members.

The subject of the psychology of family relations is the study of the characteristics of interpersonal relationships in a social unit, the structure of the family, its functions, patterns and dynamics of development. Therefore, the object of this direction of science is the family itself.

What problems does the psychology of family relationships solve?

The psychology of family relationships is a separate branch of science, which faces certain challenges:

• research into the patterns of formation and development of family structure at all stages of the cycle;
• studying the characteristics of the relationship between potential spouses before marriage, as well as certain nuances of choosing a partner;
• study of the psychological aspect in the relationship between husband and wife;
• analysis of the psychology of relations between parents and children;
• studying the influence of family upbringing on the formation of a child’s personality;
• research into family crises, the causes of their occurrence and the development of strategies to overcome them.

Thus, the tasks of the psychology of family relations cover all aspects of the interaction of individuals within a specific cell of society. The psychology of family relations studies the main directions of analysis of problems arising in a small group of society.

Characteristics of a kindergarten student’s family from the teacher

Characteristics of the Petrov family, Nizhny Novgorod

Family composition: complete.

Father - Sergei Valentinovich Petrov, place of work - Department of the FSB of the Russian Federation for the Nizhny Novgorod Region.

Mother - Raisa Fedorovna Petrova, place of work - City Clinical Hospital No. 5.

The child is Alisa Sergeevna Petrova, born in 2016, studying at the Rainbow Medical Educational Institution.

Alice is a capable child: she can read, write and count, and she dances. During classes he shows perseverance and attentiveness, and is rarely distracted. Builds friendly relationships with peers and has the beginnings of leadership skills. Well developed memory and erudition. Alice enjoys playing games and completing assigned tasks.

The girl always comes neat and neatly dressed, with a beautiful hairstyle. She takes care of herself completely, is independent, and uses kitchen utensils correctly. Parents drop off and pick up their child on time. Visits to the MADO are not allowed without a good reason.

The relationship between parents and daughter is absolutely positive, love and care are visible. The child is given enough attention.

Parents participate in their daughter’s life and are interested in her achievements, attend preschool events, and are always in touch.

Family is

We are accustomed to considering the definition of a family from the point of view of socio-economic parameters, as a unit of society living together and leading a common household. But in psychology, this aspect is considered in a slightly different context.

A family is a complex structure, consisting of many elements and relationships between members of this structure, within which the needs of people arising from existing family ties are satisfied (or not satisfied).

From the point of view of psychologist G. Navaitis, a family is a social structure whose activities are aimed at meeting the needs of all its members.

Family structure

The structure of the family cannot be considered unambiguously; this aspect depends on what typology underlies the formation of a small social group:

Whatever typology underlies the structure of a social unit, within its framework the peculiarities of the formation of moral and psychological connections between all participants, its spirituality, the balance of power and other factors that influence the performance of family functions in society are considered.

Family functions

Family psychology studies not only the structure and form of a small social group, but also its functions - spheres of life aimed at meeting the needs of all participants.

Educational function

This function should be considered both from the perspective of meeting the needs of family members and its role in society:

• for spouses it means satisfying the needs for fatherhood and motherhood, their own self-realization in children;
• For society, raising a new generation is important from the point of view of the formation of society and its structure.

The implementation of the educational function takes a fairly long period - from birth to the stage of growing up of the child. During this time, parents need to form appropriate psycho-emotional, physical and social norms and help in adapting to life in society. In addition, the self-education of parents in relation to children and the elderly generation plays an important role.

Household

The household function is based on the needs of family members:

• in material well-being;
• in maintaining health (physical, psycho-emotional, social);
• in maintaining life and development.

The manifestation of this function can be expressed in preserving and maintaining the health of both parents and children, in caring for needy family members, in joint housekeeping.

The implementation of household functions affects the structure of the family and the formation of its status. It may depend on the type of management, sources of income, its distribution and other factors.

Emotional exchange

Relationships between family members are built on the basis of emotions, which are expressed in affection for each other. In positive dynamics, this attachment develops into respect, sympathy, love - emotions that are considered the norm for most. In this way, an emotional exchange occurs between members of the community.

In addition to interacting with each other, family members have to communicate with society, as a result of which an emotional exchange also occurs, in a positive or negative way. And here broader forms of interaction are already appearing, ranging from sympathy to hatred or enmity with other members of society.

The implementation of this function depends on the presence of emotional interaction between family members and society. The lack of energy exchange leads to the accumulation of unexpressed feelings and illnesses of a small social group.

Communication function

In some sources the function is called leisure. It is based on the need of family members to spend time together, cultural and spiritual interaction. The implementation of the function contributes to the spiritual development of members of society, personal growth, self-development, and depends primarily on the ability to communicate in society.

Positive implementation of leisure function affects the psycho-emotional background and health status. The lack of ability to communicate and the possibility of rest leads to stress, loss of strength and negative interaction with other participants in the process.

Function of primary social control

All members of society are subject to certain rules, which are based not only on what is allowed, but also on prohibitions. Standards of behavior help maintain the integrity of society and provide a certain degree of protection for its members.

Within a small cell of society, mechanisms of control and self-regulation also operate, since not all participants are able to responsibly and independently structure their behavior without infringing on the interests and needs of other members of the group. For example, young children or elderly parents need the supervision of capable relatives.

Sexual-erotic function

The role of the function in satisfying the respective needs of spouses and in regulating sexual behavior between them. Realization ensures reproductive function, procreation, and, consequently, the development of society. As you know, the purpose of marriage is to have children and raise new members of society. Therefore, one of the tasks for spouses is the reproduction of psychologically and physically healthy people.

Economic function

The economic function is based on the level of material well-being of the family. Consequently, it depends on income, which is formed based on the sources of its receipt and the costs of disabled group members who require financial support.

Protective function

The family’s ability to defend its interests lies not only in physical protection, for example, when passing hooligans show aggression, but also in the formation of psychological, emotional, and economic stability.

Succession function

The function of preserving traditions and continuity of generations. Thanks to implementation, relationships between relatives are strengthened, values ​​and family history are formed.

Violation of the implementation of the listed functions leads to problems in the family . In our time, society is faced with the manifestation of dysfunctions in the following ways:

• demographic crisis caused by a decrease in the birth rate and an increase in mortality;
• short duration of marriages and high divorce rates;
• degradation of family values, including in relation to raising children;
• an increase in the number of families with low social status;
• shifting roles in the family;
• increased manifestation of tyranny and violence.

It should be noted that in the current situation it is not so much the members of a small cell of society who are to blame, but society as a whole, since the functioning and interaction of group members depends on:

• generally accepted norms;
• economic microclimate;
• demographic situation;
• work of state institutions;
• psychophysiological dynamics of relationships.

What is "empty nest" syndrome?

One of the stages of family development is the departure of adult children from home. Parents are left alone and face difficulties caused by the need to adapt to life together.

The unusual environment is oppressive and deprives you of comfort; a feeling of loneliness and emptiness appears. It’s not clear what to do next and how to build your life. The situation is complicated by the need to come to terms with the following factors:

• decrease in physical strength, appearance of signs of aging;
• retirement, decreased income;
• adaptation to new family roles of grandparents;
• narrowing the circle of contacts, reducing social significance;
• building relationships with new relatives.

The problem of the “empty nest” is relevant for parents who saw the meaning of life in their children. The departure of children into independent life is perceived as the destruction of hopes, the disappearance of the meaning of existence. Parents feel abandoned and betrayed. They try to maintain the same relationship, consciously or unconsciously interfering with the children’s independence. Parents can use psychological violence, manipulate, blackmail, children cannot break the psychological connection and create their own family.

Normally, parents overcome the “empty nest” syndrome and come to terms with the new distribution of roles. If the relationship develops unsuccessfully, children remain dependent on their parents for the rest of their lives, even if they live separately.

Types of family relationships in psychology

Types of family relationships in psychology are classified into several different typologies. But if we take general principles as a basis, we can distinguish the following types of family relationships:

1. A traditional family is an average small group in society, the purpose of which is to procreate and preserve traditions and values. Spouses value stability and continuity.
2. Partnership relationships are characterized by equality of rights between group members, equal responsibility for decision making, commonality of views and the ability to resolve conflicts.
3. Diktat is the predominance of the power of one of the family members, which is most often expressed in violence (both moral and physical), an authoritarian regime. This can be expressed in the dictates of one spouse in relation to the other or parents in relation to the rest of the household. The result of such interaction most often is severe psychological trauma and a feeling of fear.
4. Codependent relationships - one of the family members is dependent on the other for a number of reasons. There can be many variations here:

• “tyrant-victim” - characterized by constant (moral or physical) suppression of one of the community members;
• “victim-rescuer” - applicable to couples when one of the family members suffers from addiction, and the other tolerates and tries to help get rid of it;
• Guardianship – one of the partners treats the other like a parent treats a child.

If the types of relationships do not develop according to the standard pattern, disharmony arises, and therefore related problems. In accordance with this, the following classification is distinguished:

1. Calm relationships are an external picture that hides boredom and indifference.
2. Explosive relationships - suitable for those who like to quarrel in public.
3. Overprotection is when one of the spouses completely devotes himself to his partner, to the detriment of his own interests.
4. The wall - each family member is absorbed only in his own interests.
5. A demonstrative idyll is happiness only in public, but in reality it is a dysfunctional union inside.
6. Childfree union is a deliberate refusal to bear and raise children.
7. Family for the sake of children - maintaining relationships for the sake of raising children, but without unnecessary sentimentality in relation to each other.
8. Rivalry is constant competition between partners in everything, careers, raising children, doing household chores, and even for the love of children.

Models of family relationships in psychology according to David Richard Olson are divided into 7 types, which echo previous classifications, combining harmonious and destructive types.

1. A traditional family is a social unit that adheres to generally accepted social norms. The relationships are favorable, the continuity of traditions and the preservation of family values ​​are fully present.
2. Balanced relationships - certain agreements are observed in the family in all areas, as a result of which everyone is satisfied with everything, and the occurrence of conflict situations is practically excluded.
3. Harmonious partnerships - complete mutual understanding between spouses, mutual support and correct distribution of roles.
4. A full-fledged marriage is a coincidence of views in all directions, a prosperous relationship.
5. A lifeless marriage is classified as dysfunctional, due to the fact that the spouses were unable to realize themselves, achieve financial stability, or build a career. Olson attributes the reasons for this situation to the early age of marriage, and especially the birth of children, as a result of which the partners did not have time to receive a decent education and succeed in their careers.
6. Conflict relationships between partners - the manifestation of quarrels in the family is constant, for any reason. The reason lies in irritation with each other, dissatisfaction, and aggression.
7. A marriage of convenience is the creation of a family for mercantile purposes, but initially the spouses understand what they are getting into, so they accept these conditions of the game and try to save the marriage.

The functions of a small group of society are closely related to the emerging models of families and their structure. In the following articles we will talk about what life cycles a family goes through from the moment of marriage, how the types of family relationships affect the upbringing of children and the formation of personality.

Reasons for an unsuccessful marriage

Dissatisfaction with the needs of spouses leads to conflicts. According to the degree of danger for the family, conflicts are:

1. Non-hazardous. They arise as an adequate response to objective difficulties. Appear suddenly and resolve quickly.
2. Dangerous. Rarely lead to serious disagreements, but cause regular increase in tension between spouses. They manifest themselves in minor everyday conflicts: spouses’ attempts to change each other’s habits, demands to conform to ideas, to reconsider habits. Such conflicts provoke confrontation and the need to resolve the dilemma.
3. Particularly dangerous. May cause divorce.

The motivation for the last category of conflicts requires detailed consideration. Motives for divorce can arise in any type of family, but people with low social responsibility, deviant behavior, and a low level of intelligence are more susceptible to them. Among the reasons for divorce are:

1. Adultery, dissatisfaction with the sexual activity of the spouse. Cheating is the result of dissatisfaction with family life and disharmony in sexual relations. Full satisfaction of sexual needs is impossible without a positive emotional background and respect for marital fidelity.
2. Character differences. The inability to come to terms with certain character traits, the destructive behavior of a spouse, and self-centeredness are the reasons for the constant emergence of conflicts that lead to the alienation of spouses.
3. Domestic alcoholism, aggressive behavior. Abuse of alcohol and other drugs leads to scandals, financial difficulties, an increased risk of psychoneurological disorders, and marital dissatisfaction.

Insufficient awareness of spouses in matters of adequate conflict resolution, productive communication, and skills for developing family relationships, spouses will repeat destructive patterns of behavior even in the event of remarriage, which will inevitably lead to divorce.