Hi all. When passion cools and physical attraction fades, secret relationships with another man can become unpleasant. At this moment, the girl is wondering how to forget her lover. This is necessary so as not to burden yourself with meaningless relationships. You need to look at them objectively and use methods that will help you get rid of your love addiction to your lover or even to a married man. A married woman will be helped to fall in love with her husband again, raise her own self-esteem and adjust her life harmoniously.
What awaits a woman who decides to eat the forbidden fruit?
- Wasted years of life “eating scraps” from someone else’s table. Of course, a man develops an attachment to a secret admirer, but still this is not a reason for divorce in most cases.
- A married man takes the place of a normal man. Of course, here you can think that he is the one and only half. And the longer such reflections, the more endlessly the suffering and life on the sidelines continue.
- False hopes, shattered illusions. If such a relationship has lasted for more than a year, and there is no sign of divorce, then such an outcome is unlikely to happen at all.
- Constant pain from lies, jealousy and falling self-esteem. It’s only at first that it seems that everything will end as easily, carefree as it began. But that's not true.
- No one has repealed the boomerang law. You need to put yourself in the shoes of others and only then will the right choice be made. The best solution is to break off the harmful relationship and start building your life. A love triangle is a complex organism, and everyone makes their own contribution to its occurrence.
- From the point of view of social condemnation, mistresses have the most difficult time. She will be lucky if she manages to get an appointment with a psychologist and she will be able to take responsibility for her life. Otherwise, you can wait for years until some decision is made by itself.
The role of temperament during a breakup
Temperament influences behavior in different life situations.
Each type has features:
- Choleric people approach relationships pragmatically and do not consider creating a family their main goal. They study a potential partner for a long time, looking for similarities in interests and outlook on life. Such people rarely fall in love, but they leave the relationship quite painfully and become strongly attached; due to frequent changes in mood, they are able to abruptly break off ties, even if they regret it.
- Sanguine people primarily look for a friend in a partner and strive for variety; they tend to fall in love often. They do not strive for constant control over their chosen one, they are generous with attention, and love to give gifts. Feeling discomfort in a relationship, sanguine people quickly pull away and easily leave.
- Phlegmatic people see their partner as a helper and choose with their mind, not their heart. They seek traditional relationships and predictability, value accepted moral principles highly, take relationships seriously, and are slow to let people approach you. Phlegmatic people leave after carefully weighing all the pros and cons and justifying the decision.
- Melancholic people are the most sensitive of all types. These people value romance, devote themselves completely to new relationships, become emotionally attached to their partner, and make sacrifices and concessions. They idealize their partners, have high expectations and are often disappointed, and they endure separation hard, do not let go of feelings for a long time and cannot hide them.
How to stop loving a married man?
Remember: no accident, no other people will help you get out of such dependent and long-term relationships. Only you and your inner state, the work done on your goals will help get you out of a relationship with a married man.
Complete your breakup with a married man in 3 steps:
Talk
Talk openly with your partner about the future. The goal is not to hear again that everything will be fine, but to understand how he feels about what he says and what is actually happening. If you see an opportunity to continue your relationship by moving to a new stage, take advantage of this opportunity. But first, decide together why you should continue with them, where it will all lead, and how long it will take. If there is no other option and only a promise remains, then we must break up.
Understanding.
Connect what you hear to your vision. Imagine what awaits this relationship in a few years. You don't get younger, you can't turn back time, but you don't want to let this man go. If you understand that you are breaking up anyway, why do you postpone this moment until the rare calming “now”? Analyze the relationships you had before this one, what problems did you encounter? Surely, you have let go of most of them, and you can easily do this today. Why do you deliberately choose to suffer and carry the burden of your hopeless relationship into the future?
Shift the focus of your relationship to yourself.
If you find it difficult to leave your partner at night, use switching techniques. Continue to communicate with your married partner without giving up your role as a mistress. However, at the same time, try to find a new hobby, set career goals, start running a business. In addition to your personality, you inevitably leave the space of dependence on the relationship and do not become part of it, but appear as an independent person.
At this moment, it is important for you to understand and accept your feelings. Consciously start focusing not on them, but on something at a different level. Over time, the psychological stress that arises from constantly replaying the situation in your head will weaken.
Be honest with yourself and your partner.
It is not your job to prove to him your strength, independence or superiority. You need to achieve your own peace of mind. When he is ready, talk to him and tell him that you are not ending this relationship because of an outburst of emotions, and not because he is wrong in something. This is due to the lack of a common future and the desire for lasting happiness. Ask him not to keep you, because in the future you want to create a full-fledged family and think that you deserve it.
Should I confess to my husband that I'm cheating?
Whatever the reasons for the betrayal, the fact remains a fact. The question now is, should you tell your husband that his woman was in bed with someone else?
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How to forgive your husband for cheating and is it worth doing?
Women are more prone to pangs of conscience than men and even admit to one-time affairs on the side.
- In order to remove the burden from the soul and repent, some girls confess to their husband that cheating has occurred. At the same time, they count on forgiveness from him, they are afraid to be left alone.
- There are those who will tell about their adventures in order to make their partner jealous, to add bright emotional outbursts to everyday family life.
Many psychologists are of the opinion that there is no need to hurt a partner by admitting to cheating. Since this can not only destroy a strong family, bring suffering to the common children, but also become the beginning of violence in a couple.
A woman’s betrayal does not always occur consciously; sometimes it is a momentary weakness, alcohol intake, etc. For this reason, there is no need to break what was created bit by bit; no one is immune from mistakes. In addition, trust in the wife will be forever undermined, constant showdowns, hidden anger or retaliatory betrayal will begin.
The husband is not always ready to forgive his wife’s betrayal. In most cases, such marriages are doomed to fail.
Advice from a psychologist: how to forget a married man?
Anastasia Plisko is a psychologist, doctor, relationship consultant. Since 2007, we have been working on the basis of our own author’s methodology, which has already helped create more than 400 families and save thousands of relationships that were on the verge of breaking. On her channel she gives answers to the most difficult questions in the relationship between a woman and a man. Only effective models of behavior, without manipulation, humiliation and addiction. No feminine practices or rituals.
In the video, Anastasia tells how to forget a married man and get out of emotional dependence.
Difficult decisions
The advice of psychologists here is ambiguous - some say that you can’t order your heart, and you should take it for granted, others advise “knocking out a wedge with a wedge,” and still others even recommend not denying yourself the pleasure of further intimate meetings.
But it just so happens that we are all possessive by nature, and a rare girl will like to be in the shadows for a long time. And if one of us happens to fall in love with a married man, sooner or later she will want the almost impossible - for her passion to immediately leave her family and “flip” under her wing.
However, men are rather strange creatures. They can sincerely enjoy personal meetings with their mistress, but they extremely rarely abandon their wives and children.
In this case, it is necessary to say goodbye to the past and transfer the current lover to the category of an ex.
How to forget a lover if you are strongly attracted to him in a sexual or simple human way? Should we forget our ex-lover at all, or should we, on the contrary, always remember the bitter experience so that its continuation does not inadvertently happen? Is it possible in this case to do without the help of a psychologist and nightly alcoholic gatherings in the company of friends? Yes. And you will definitely overcome love addiction if you really want it.
“I love a married man” - karmic consequences
The consequences of an affair with a married man depend on the situation in which the relationship with the wife is. If the marriage is on the verge of separation and the wife doesn’t really care, then most likely there will be no negative consequences. But if she has a hard time experiencing what happened, then karmic consequences may occur - after all, there is a blow to the main instincts. If there are children, or they are about to appear in the future (that is, the soul of a common child is already present in the aura), then the responsibility increases even more.
Even if the relationship proceeds secretly and does not end in divorce, the wife always subconsciously feels and knows that a stranger has invaded her personal family space. Consequently, there is an unconscious energy negative towards the mistress.
Many ancestral energies are involved in marriage, and the family itself is a symbol of procreation. A genus is an energy formation that really exists. The whole clan, all the dead ancestors, begin to take revenge on the homewrecker.
A story from life. At the beginning of the 20th century, a married man fell in love at first sight and abruptly, unexpectedly abandoned his family. He tied himself to a homewrecker for a second marriage, from which children were born. But for many generations, men (descendants from a second marriage) died early, were plagued by misfortune, and women found themselves in love triangles.
Responsibility comes not only for the removal of a husband from the family, but in general for communication with a married man. The most severe consequences that can occur are serious gynecological problems and a generational curse.
What to do if you find yourself in the position of the mistress of a married man?
Such a problem cannot be solved in one day by performing a magic ritual and so on. This is a rather long and difficult process, depending on the situation. On the one hand, it is necessary to solve the deep psychological reason why the woman was drawn into a love triangle, on the other hand, it is necessary to remove the negative energetic consequences of a relationship with a married man.
Building relationships with your spouse
After solving the issue of how to stop loving a lover, a new problem comes - restoring the relationship with the lawful husband. It’s no longer so easy to abandon a person, trying to forget about everything that connected you.
A woman who betrayed her beloved should be the first to take steps towards her husband. Only in this way can trust, respect and passion return to the couple over time.
The desire to save the family must be mutual, otherwise such relationships are doomed to eternal suffering, reproaches and, as a result, new betrayals.
It is extremely important to sit down and discuss all the misunderstandings that caused your wife to cheat. What exactly might not suit her? Mandatory elaboration of existing problems and maximum efforts aimed at eradicating them will become the new foundation of a strong family.
The woman, in turn, needs to show how important her husband is, how attractive he is in an intimate way, and show more attention. In such difficult periods, it would not be a bad idea to give a man compliments, arrange romantic dinners and joint trips that bring him closer together.
Renewing a relationship with your husband after your wife cheats on you is hard work.
You're worried you'll get hurt
These are normal, and this is another excuse not to break off an extramarital relationship. Maybe you feel guilty for leading him on, especially if you initiated everything yourself. He may not have a very good marriage. But this is all his own problem, and not something for which he needs to destroy his life.
It will be much better if you break up with him. This may seem rude, but it's honest.
Having an extramarital relationship is very draining and emotionally difficult for everyone. Leaving another man with the hope that you will someday get a divorce and be with him is dishonest. He probably won't say this out of fear of losing him, but the very guilt you feel when leaving another man should be even greater because you are dragging him along with you. So the next time you feel guilty about breaking up, tell yourself that this is the kindest and most selfless thing you both can do for each other.
False feelings.
Very often, women think that they will gain nothing by starting a relationship without obligations, for the sake of ordinary sex. But, as a rule, they are wrong. The woman has a complex psyche. She cannot, like a man, forget her partner in the morning. Her feelings often become deeper, and the separation is quite difficult. Therefore, it is better to end all relations with your lover as early as possible, so that you can easily and quickly forget him.
Love or Addiction
Sometimes, enjoying the state of love, women become so focused on their chosen one that they become somewhat emotionally dependent on their feelings for this person.
In psychology, love dependence is called addiction. Doctors do not call for urgent treatment, but they warn that sometimes addiction, which continues for a long time, leads to obsessive states. Often women pay for their long-term love affair with the loss of their own self, health and position in society. Addiction differs from love in the following ways:
- Frequent mood swings, directly dependent on contact with a specific person;
- A disregard for one's own desires for the sake of satisfying the needs of a partner;
- Willingness to endure unpleasant sensations in order for the object of your attention to be constantly nearby;
- Erasing interpersonal boundaries, perceiving oneself as one with a partner;
- Irritability from comments and advice from loved ones and relatives who call your behavior obsessive;
- The desire to meet the requirements of the chosen one, to be worthy of his expectations;
- Total control of the thoughts, desires and actions of another person;
- A vision of the purpose of life in an effort to make a partner happy by any means;
- “Pushing” your interests into the background;
- Low self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness and meaninglessness without a certain man;
- A state of constant stress and, as a consequence, the manifestation of somatic diseases;
- Clear mental health problems visible to others.
Oddly enough, the predisposition to build such painful relationships begins in childhood. Therefore, in order to promptly understand that a harmful passion threatens to develop into a serious mental state, you need to contact an experienced psychotherapist who will help and teach you how not to constantly think about your lover.
In practical psychology, there is the technique of neurolinguistic programming (NLP). If you feel emotionally dependent on your lover and are seriously concerned about your mental health, try applying NLP to your specific situation. Perhaps this is the technique that will teach you how to forget and not think about your lover.
So, let's begin: choose a secluded place so that no one will distract you, relax and imagine the object of your adoration. Try to mentally examine your man in detail, touch or hug him. Feel how exactly you are connected to him. It can be a strong rope, rope, stretched cord or a thin but strong enough thread. Try to break this connection. This will certainly cause discomfort, pain, and discomfort. You may feel insecure.
Admit what you want to see yourself as. What prevents you from becoming free and confident, independent of your partner? Visualize yourself renewed a little away from yourself, attached to a man. Imagine yourself, able to cope with your problems on your own, successful and bright in appearance. Try new intonations in your voice, project your gait and body movements. Like yourself!
Now turn to your partner, once again feel your visible connection and sharply try to interrupt it. You can mentally use a sharp knife, large tailor's scissors, chop it with an ax or set it on fire. The connection has been broken, but for some reason you feel at ease! Now connect your end of the rope to yourself with a new one, feel how you are filled with new strength and emotions, how pleasant and comfortable it is to feel free and independent!
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