If a woman has a permanent relationship with a married man, then there is a high probability that such a couple will break up sooner or later. Of course, after separation, pain, resentment and bitter disappointment remain in the soul, especially if the partner himself ended the relationship. In order not to torment yourself with worries and not to be depressed, you need to weigh all the pros and cons and think about how to forget your lover.
Why relationships with a married man end in failure
A long marriage does not at all prevent a man from becoming interested in other women and having mistresses. Neither age, nor appearance, nor the man’s modest income become an obstacle to this.
Representatives of the stronger sex, especially those who have been married for more than one year, choose a secret girlfriend for various reasons. Typically these include the following:
- the wife has aged, does not take care of her appearance, has become indifferent to intimacy, and the husband is fit, full of strength and ready for new sexual “exploits”;
- the man is generally satisfied with his wife, but is too burdened with boring family responsibilities;
- tense family situation - constant scandals, hysterical behavior of the wife or her other relatives;
- the wife is a responsible employee, and the husband is a domestic servant;
- unexpectedly flared up a new love of a married man.
But selfish motives are also often found. Having found a wealthy woman and feeling that he is not indifferent to her, a young man wants, with the help of a rich mistress, to improve his financial situation (his own or even that of his family) or move up the career ladder.
It doesn’t matter how strongly his chosen one feels for her lover, a relationship with a married man can end at any moment precisely at the man’s request. Several circumstances may influence this:
- As you know, everything secret becomes clear. The changes taking place with her husband will not escape the wife’s sensitive gaze. She, of course, will notice that he has become more sensitive to his appearance, stays late at work later than usual, more often refuses sexual contacts, becomes absent-minded or overly cheerful;
- Additional suspicions of the wife can be strengthened by frequent calls from the husband to an unknown phone number, hints from colleagues, relatives or other ill-wishers. The atmosphere in the family becomes nervous, the wife, even if she does not ask questions openly, often walks around gloomy, angry and crying;
- Changes in the relationship between parents are noticed by both children and older relatives. A man has to lie, dodge and find excuses for himself. If in his mind family values outweigh the joys of an affair on the side, then he decides to take a break in his relationship with his mistress. At this moment, everything depends on the strength of the man’s new feeling and the wisdom of his legal wife.
An intelligent woman who wants to save her marriage will not reproach her husband and arrange scenes of jealousy for him, but will analyze her behavior, her husband’s possible discontent and will make every effort to return him to the family.
She will become affectionate, radically change her behavior, visit a cosmetologist, take care of delicious family dinners, arrange romantic dinners, offer joint entertainment and holidays. She will also free a man from dull everyday life or boring household chores.
A man will gratefully respond to your understanding and appreciate the changes taking place in the family.
When the husband feels that he is loved and cared for, as in the first years of family life, his feelings will flare up with renewed vigor. As a rule, in such circumstances, the spouses come to reconciliation, and the man leaves his new girlfriend forever.
Issues
In a long-term relationship between a woman and a man burdened with a family, the woman begins to have many destructive thoughts in her head. A woman constantly asks herself:
“If he says he loves me, then why doesn’t he leave his family?”, “What’s wrong with me?”, “Why is he deceiving me?”
This provokes internal struggle. At the initial stage, the woman realizes that her lover is deceiving not only her, but also his family. He understands that most likely he will never leave his legal wife.
Then, when she becomes unbearable from understanding the current situation, the time comes for internal contradictions and struggle with the thoughts that torment her. A woman begins to look for excuses for a man’s actions, or evidence that they have a real serious relationship, and not a banal affair.
This problem can only be solved in a positive way. In fact, this is difficult to do, because a woman in such a relationship is in a state of constant stress. On the one hand, there is a loved one, and on the other, she constantly thinks about how she can get out of this relationship, how she can part with her lover.
If there are feelings, and not just material or career interests, this is much more difficult to do. This is due to the fact that after a breakup you will be drawn to the person and you will need to hide your desires, even from yourself.
Illusions in relationships with a married man
Women, especially young ones who don’t know life well, often believe that any romantic relationship should end in marriage. Love, overshadowing reason, makes representatives of the fair half of humanity careless and naive. If a man is generous with kind words, assurances, flowers and gifts, then the girl, looking into his enthusiastic eyes, believes every word.
Not a single girl in love thinks about how to subsequently forget her married lover. But in real life things are much more complicated.
A man is a hunter by nature. The new relationship will please him for just so long until he feels satiated. Then he will subconsciously begin to look for flaws in his mistress and compare her with his wife or former lovers. And, of course, there will always be shortcomings.
A man experienced in family matters understands perfectly well that sooner or later his young lady will fade, lose her former attractiveness and turn into a grumpy middle-aged woman.
Any man understands that it is easier to start a new relationship on the side than to burden himself with the next marriage, especially if an intelligent, patient and beautiful wife also copes well with her responsibilities - prepares delicious food, monitors cleanliness, takes on a lot and helps her husband physically or valuable advice.
In addition, a family is always a calm haven where you can not show off your best side, but from time to time relax and rest your soul.
A wise and caring wife will accept any shortcomings of her husband, appreciate even minimal advantages, and support him in difficult times.
Over the years of marriage, the wife has already thoroughly understood the character of her husband and guesses his desires without words. Two people who have been married for a long time have already adapted to each other, but a person will still have to get used to a new woman.
For a man, his own peace of mind, an established life and the predicted behavior of his wife may be much more valuable.
Call his wife
This is the boldest step on the list.
The girl does not have to say that she is that same lover. It should simply be said that her husband is not faithful to her. You can also send several spicy photographs together, but so that the girl’s face is not visible. Otherwise, additional problems cannot be avoided. This is done so that he cannot take a single step calmly without the control of his wife. And if this happens, then the girl in love will not be able to see him. But she will have more time to find another, worthy life partner and quickly forget this nightmare.
Sometimes the question of how to forget a loved one finds an answer itself. Not everyone will like being in second place, a “spare”. After all, in love there are no second roles. And the sooner she decides to end this relationship, the better. You need to have self-esteem and at least a drop of pride.
Advice from a psychologist to help you forget a married man
If you are strongly attached to your partner and try to keep him close to you, but have already felt cooling on his part, then you need to prepare for separation. This is very difficult to deal with on your own, so it is better to seek advice from a professional.
The psychologist will listen to you carefully, take into account all the circumstances and give some advice.
In order not to receive deep mental trauma from the unexpected departure of your lover, you need to directly ask him about his intentions. It is important to analyze the man’s answers, and then try to draw conclusions for yourself.
Even a very loving, but sensitive woman will intuitively sense the slightest insincerity in her partner’s words. You should be wary of a careless or evasive reaction, an arrogant tone, jokes or questions in response, and, even more so, harshness, irritation or rudeness.
In this case, you shouldn’t continue the relationship; it’s better to prepare yourself for the inevitable breakup. You must try to convince yourself that your chosen one is not the best man in the world.
Make a mental list of his shortcomings and find new ones every day. These may even be minor details that you have not paid attention to until now.
Perhaps your lover snores or does not like to brush his teeth, or perhaps, on the contrary, has an increased desire for cleanliness and pedantry. Sooner or later, everything that you now perceive condescendingly and patiently will begin to irritate and indignate you.
Of course, there are no perfect people, but look around. The world is full of cute single guys who also have their drawbacks, but also have one major advantage: by marrying you, a single man will not cause unhappiness to another woman or his children.
The breakup of previous family relationships will also leave an imprint on the behavior of your chosen one.
There is a possibility that he will like you as his legal wife less than his previous wife, and the man will regret that he made a rash decision.
If you are determined to end your relationship with your lover, then you should not make him jealous and provoke him into new evidence of affection by flirting with other men. Do not demonstrate your search for new love and do not report the courtship of other representatives of the stronger sex. This behavior will only strengthen the possessive instinct of your current partner and prolong the “agony” in the relationship.
It is better to secretly meet with friends, attend parties and go to cafes - alone or with friends. Moreover, you know your lover’s schedule and the hours of his visits.
To free your thoughts from constantly waiting for your loved one to come, read more, especially romance novels. The works of talented masters of artistic expression have already outlined all the typical scenarios of human relationships, so you can find many similar situations that will tell you how to act.
Learn to switch. If your head is filled only with thoughts of love for your chosen one, then come up with a hobby, get carried away with work and creating a career, and on weekends go on excursions or go on hiking trips with friends.
Never sit idle - come up with new recipes for dishes that suit only you, clean up your apartment, help your parents and elderly relatives. Share your experiences with your mother. But so that she does not condemn your behavior, tell the story not about yourself, but about an imaginary friend.
A mother who has extensive life experience will also give good advice and suggest something.
If you see that your lover is missing dates, citing being busy with work or household chores, then on your part, try to reduce the frequency of meetings. But don’t do it in such a way that you sit and suffer sadly in the free time, but plan what you will do and where you will go.
Gradually you will feel that your attachment is weakening and your lover is not taking up such a large part of your life. If a man notices that you are no longer burning with the same passion for him, then, most likely, he himself will move a greater distance, and soon your relationship with your married lover will gradually end.
How to get over a breakup if you're still in love
After a breakup, there will be a period of doubt. Feelings do not disappear quickly, so worries, sadness and longing for a loved one will definitely come to a woman. How to cope with emotions?
Be alone
A bad breakup requires a lot of strength and energy. Usually after a breakup people feel devastated. The woman no longer has anyone to occupy her thoughts; she does not feel her former support.
It's completely normal to spend a few days alone. Cry without being embarrassed by anyone, get some sleep. This period will put your thoughts in order and relieve you of the first and most difficult emotions.
How to end a relationship with a married man
But it also happens that you are very attached to your lover. When he suddenly announces the end of the relationship, you find yourself completely unprepared for it. In order not to plunge into deep sadness and reduce your suffering, you need to think about how to forget your relationship with a married man whom you still love.
You must thank fate for giving you freedom. Think about how much time you will have if you don’t have to spend painful hours waiting for your lover.
You will no longer need to depend on his schedule and whims. You will stop feeling the pangs of jealousy towards his wife and children. In addition, you may make his family happy without causing divorce and suffering for the man you love. This fact also cannot but please us.
Immediately after you have ended your relationship with your married lover, get rid of any reminders of him. It will immediately become easier for you when you delete all his contacts, photos, and delete him from your friends on your pages on social networks. By doing this you will break the invisible thread that binds you.
If your lover was your colleague, then change your job.
Master a new specialty - self-improvement will occupy your thoughts and fill your time. Communicate more with friends, and in conversations with girlfriends, avoid all topics related to your previous love affair. If all this does not help you, then you can radically change the situation by moving to another area or even city.
Pay attention to the guys around you and try to please them.
Nothing heals the soul better than a new romance with a handsome, well-mannered and energetic man. Just be sure to find out through friends or acquaintances whether your new chosen one is related by marriage. If you have children, then do more with them. The main purpose of a woman is to raise a worthy younger generation. To get rid of the nagging feeling of loss, visit your parents - bring them groceries, clean the apartment, or give them a gift. Mother's joy will console you and bring you back to life.
Chat with little nephews, if you have any. Even fleeting contact with kids will make you forget about previous grievances and arouse in your soul the desire to create a full-fledged family and have children.
Be in public more, visit a beauty salon, gym, make the purchases you have long dreamed of.
Treat yourself to things that you liked, but did not suit your former lover with their styles. Go to the sea or to the forest: communication with nature will put you in a romantic mood and make you forget about your sorrows.
Well, another option: get a pet. A small puppy or kitten will be grateful to you for your care and fill the emptiness of your heart with its affection.
Natalia
