How to FORGET A GIRL

Ivan Vdovin

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I understand your feelings now, you sit and suffer and think about how to forget the girl you love, but she doesn’t see you? The world has turned upside down, I lived for her and there are no goals in life, I want to get drunk and forget myself. And advice from friends, like you’ll find something even better, doesn’t help, is that how it happens? That's exactly what happened to me.

Does loving mean suffering? NO!

So you lived with a girl or you were just secretly in love with her, and another common thing is that she considers you a friend, and you love her. But it turned out that society has formed an opinion about love, that if you love, then you must suffer. But let's be honest, suffering does not mean loving.

If you suffer, it means that your self-esteem is undermined, and it suffers. What thoughts arise when a girl leaves you or chooses someone else over you or, even worse, ignores you? The thought here is that they chose someone else to take your place, you are worse than others, you are worthless, you are a fool, you will never succeed. The list can be continued long and hard. But this does not lead to a solution to the problem. \

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Do you also know why you begin to suffer from unrequited love? Self-pity. You want to punish yourself, show how you suffer and so that the object of your desire will see it and feel sorry for you. But do you want to live in such a relationship that you are constantly pitied? Believe me, this is HELL for both partners.

So say thank you to the girl who sees your suffering but shows no pity for you. The desire to be pitied has its roots in childhood, where parents were not loving or showed less care than they would like. Well, a lot of things. Self-pity is just the worst thing a man can have. You can forget about success with women and in life if you feel sorry for yourself.

Read more: Long distance relationships, does it make sense?

For a man to do well in a relationship, he needs to grow up, take responsibility for life, for success and money. That is, everything that happens in your life is the result of your thoughts and actions. And the state, other people and all external factors have nothing to do with it.

Start working

“I’m already working like that, geniuses”

, - you will think and you will be right. However, we mean real immersion in the work process, a sharp shift in your priorities towards your career.

Ask for more responsibilities at work (maybe you might even get promoted), try to acquire new career goals, achieve something you haven’t achieved before. In short, channel all your frustrated energy into your career. This way you will think about her much less, and maybe even forget about her.

What does it mean to love?

In my opinion, the concept of love included something that is not what is needed. All thanks to our media, love songs and films. And I have a feeling that those who sing songs about love didn’t even feel it in their souls. I learned what true love is from special meditations and believe me, it’s not just suffering and despondency, it’s a legal drug that exists in each of us infinitely, you just need to learn how to use it.

In a state of love, any negative emotions are not alien to you, you want to live and enjoy life, and everything else is nonsense. Therefore, you calmly release your love into good hands and calmly move on. An important note is that in this state there is a high probability that the girl you love will write or call herself, because pure love is limitless.

Take off your rose-colored glasses

Many people, after breaking up with loved ones, have an irresistible urge to idealize and romanticize their past, believing that it was the best relationship of their lives. We have no doubt that you had some great times together, but be honest with yourself and admit that not everything was always smooth sailing.

So take your gadget or a piece of paper (if that's more convenient for you) and make a list of things that annoyed you about your ex. Also, do not forget to write down all the cases of your quarrels and disagreements.

Now you have a tool that will help you come down to earth whenever you want to remember how perfect your relationship was.

Just re-read it at such moments.

The easiest way to forget a girl

The easiest way to get rid of negative thoughts about your love is to contact me, I will remove the negative experience from you within 30 minutes and you will be amazed that there is life without suffering. Well, we’ll also add various positive benefits in the form of positive beliefs so that the situation doesn’t repeat itself, and if it does happen again, it won’t be so bad.

I remember my last relationship, I went with a girl to Sochi. And she is such a tough Instagrammer, and she didn’t need anything other than photos of herself. And I was so sick of it that I told her everything and decided to break up with her. Well, of course, there are different experiences in the soul, feelings of guilt and resentment. In general, while walking to the hotel, I worked through the whole situation in 15 minutes and simply let it go, as if it had never happened. All. I live on, without suffering and other nonsense.

Stop following her

So, let's start with the basics, without which all further actions will be absolutely useless. If you want to truly forget her, start with your social networks. Unfollow her on Instagram, unfriend her on VKontakte, block her on Facebook, stop following her on Twitter, and finally, forget about her other pages.

Otherwise, you will become fixated on all her online activities. Every post she makes will seem like a reference to your relationship, every new like from some guy will seem like the beginning of her new relationship with someone else.

Subsequently, your paranoia will go so far that you will not be able to do your usual things and will be stuck at the screen of your gadget for a long time in endless worries.

Just unfollow her and that's it.

You do not feel LOVE when parting, but fear of loneliness or betrayal.

Many people confuse suffering with the feeling of love, but this is not so. You feel inner pain due to betrayal, disappointment or fear of rejection.

Then everything can develop into stress, depression, as well as loss of health. The worst thing is if you lose interest in the relationship altogether.

The only thing that can quickly bring back the taste of life is to neutralize negative emotions and let go of the situation.

In 30 minutes we will find all the negative emotions that prevent you from letting the girl go and solve them so that they no longer bother you.

Click on the button below to be guaranteed to solve your relationship problem.

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About me

What should you not do?

Negative consequences of constantly thinking about another person, or what not to do:

break away from reality, lose track of time;
getting stuck in positive moments and memories that make you suffer;
neglect your favorite activities, relatives and friends after separation;
living with false hopes of entering “the same river twice”;
think that all women are traitors and you can’t build a serious relationship with any of them.

Vdovin Ivan

More than 15 years in psychology
Owner of 2 successful businesses
Developed his own method “Key Therapy”
Certified NLP Practitioner
Certified Hypnotherapist
In practice I use: Gestalt therapy, imagery therapy, body therapy, art therapy, hypnosis, Hellinger constellations
Helped over 100 clients
I invested more than 500,000 rubles in my education
My blog is visited by more than 1500 people per day

Reviews

Speak out

If you've been bottling up your feelings about your breakup for a long time, it's time to let them out. To do this, you can invite your best friends to a bar, tell them everything you think about your failed love, scream a little, drink a lot (just don't overdo it), and then wake up the next day feeling like a reborn person.

Naturally, in order to completely move away from bitter thoughts, a person needs time. Allow yourself to grieve a little, just don't fall into a depressed state and be able to throw out your emotions at the right time.

How to forget the girl you love, advice from a pickup artist.

In our society, it is customary to have a negative attitude towards men, “ladiesmen” and other womanizers. Probably out of envy or something else. But, pick-up artists are not there to seduce you for the sake of stupid sex, perhaps this is the case at the very beginning, but by going through many girls you meet the one with whom you spend the rest of your life. I have many friends who are former pick-up artists and their relationships are very good, they have families and children.

Unlike men who don’t meet many girls, they are shy and feel insecure. They are precisely the ones who suffer because the girl does not accept their love.

Here the advice will be very simple, the more you communicate with girls, the more confident you become and the more self-confidence, the more girls want to communicate with you as a man. And there will be no self-pity about being abandoned or not being loved and other negativity. Everything will be fine.

In short, everything is simple, meet more girls on the street, and if you are shy, then sign up for pickup training.

Effective methods and tips

Defining the situation as a given . Be honest with yourself and the fait accompli. Clear your mind of unnecessary memories that burden you with new impressions - a book or film, meeting an interesting person or a trip to another country. Now it doesn’t matter how you feel about your chosen one and what you expect from her. This is the perfect time to be selfish and think only about yourself and not about her.
Maintaining distance. You need to completely distance yourself from the person you want to stop thinking about: both physically and mentally. If you have to cross paths every day because of school, work or personal matters, indicate and determine how often (or rather, rarely!) this should happen. Meetings and contacts with her should be limited to absolutely necessary situations not related to your personal relationship.
So, avoid places where you might run into your ex, don't follow her social media profiles, don't contact her on your own, and don't seek out new information about your love life through mutual friends or family. Help your head by minimizing irritants.
Try to maintain, in addition to external, internal distance. Think about what now belongs exclusively to your life. Focus all your attention on this aspect and do not allow a woman to interfere in your life as an “ex”. Bring back aspects of existence to yourself.
New Horizons . Interesting hobbies and activities are win-win tools to stop thinking about another person.
This could be returning to an activity you once gave up and enjoyed, or something completely new that had to be put on hold because of a lady.
A dance course, sports, traveling to another country, foreign language lessons, maintaining an online blog - there are many original options. Don't be afraid to look for something that will truly reflect you and your needs from the usual feminine ones.
If you don't want to or can't do one of the above suggestions, you just need to change your life. You can do new things with friends, change your diet, start riding a bike to work, or radically change your appearance or hairstyle. The main thing is that the experience is positive and worthy of a real man.
Spiritual growth. When a person thinks about someone with whom he cannot be, it causes sadness and disappointment, but not only that. By focusing his thoughts on another person, a man automatically lowers his self-esteem.
This is because the psyche values another person more, and even one with whom it is impossible to be close. Therefore, it is better to direct energy not outward, but inward. Spiritual development is, first of all, the restoration of the space of the mind and soul.
Get in touch with your personal self, unleash your creative potential and direct it towards self-development. This will allow you to easily and quickly restore an adequate perception of yourself, which, in turn, will guarantee that you will be able to distract yourself from your loved one.

Ways to reduce the importance of a wife for a man after a divorce

The starting point in reducing the importance of a woman for a man is a deep understanding of the belief “There are many women, I am one.” After this, you can calmly perceive any individual girl in your life and build a typically “male” style of behavior. Communicate with the opposite sex, flirt, make advances: realize that your ex is not the only woman in the entire Universe. There are other girls - much more attractive, more interesting, smarter.
The second aspect is the use of a female technique called “alternate airfield” for their own purposes. Greater independence in relationships comes from expanding your circle of acquaintances. Try dating two girls at the same time - and you will understand that the importance of your ex has noticeably dropped.
The previous two methods are the mindset of an effective macho and Casanova, so they will require prior training and experience. Therefore, a more serious approach is appropriate. For example, an objective assessment of the disadvantages of the chosen one, which are more than the advantages, focusing on the advantages of a free life, uncertainty about the future with a woman who does not know how to run a house, etc.

Vdovin Ivan

More than 15 years in psychology
Owner of 2 successful businesses
Developed his own method “Key Therapy”
Certified NLP Practitioner
Certified Hypnotherapist
In practice I use: Gestalt therapy, imagery therapy, body therapy, art therapy, hypnosis, Hellinger constellations
Helped over 100 clients
I invested more than 500,000 rubles in my education
My blog is visited by more than 1500 people per day

Reviews

First stage: postoperative

At first, a person who is going through a breakup resembles a patient in the recovery room. You are in incredible pain, you cannot concentrate on routine tasks, and you are unable to even take basic care of yourself.

Now the advice of friends or even psychologists will not help you, because the ground has disappeared from under your feet and it seems that there will no longer be a reason for joy. It is stupid to advise a person to get up and walk when they have just put a cast on his broken leg, so your condition is quite normal and requires time to survive all the universal pain.

During this period, the most difficult thing is to maintain a vow of silence. You understand intellectually that you cannot call, write to a person, you cannot talk to him. Some part of you still hopes that everything can be returned, that your ex-partner will come to his senses or give you a second chance and everything will be the same again. It is natural for our psyche to protect what is familiar and dear, which creates comfort. It always takes time to realize the inevitable; the main thing is to maintain inner dignity. Surely everything between you has already been said, discussed, all the dots have been dotted and bridges have been burned.

This person has cut you out of life, and you, despite the unbearable pain in your heart, must accept his choice. Give yourself a setting - for the first three days, no calls, letters and a minimum of communication, only if circumstances require it.

If contact cannot be avoided, behave neutrally. There is no need to pretend that everything is fine. Now you are going through a serious breakup and often such strong emotions cannot be hidden, but it is your well-earned right - it is difficult to experience serious changes in your life. If you behaved any differently, this relationship would mean nothing to you. However, do not play to the public, do not try to evoke pity and do not manipulate the person. The past cannot be returned, but it must be said goodbye with dignity. And the last thing you can do is pray for the return of something that no longer exists.

But we have good news for you. Your state of deep sadness will last only a few days. You will soon notice that the pain is easing and your senses are dulling, and you will even find that you sometimes forget about your pain and go about your usual activities. This means that you are at the second stage.

Practical work:

Delete all contacts if nothing else connects you. And if something connects you, resolve all issues through acquaintances and friends.
Give all things, if you have them, through other people. If you have any important items left, ask someone to pick them up.
Throw away everything that belongs to you personally from this person (gifts, tokens of attention, etc.) / donate to charity.
Delete all shared photos.
Delete all music that reminds you of the person.
Write an unsent letter to your ex. Under no circumstances should you send it, but write it as if you wanted to express yourself. This is especially helpful if you have been dumped without explanation.

Sometimes we cannot immediately and abruptly part with reminders. For example, you rented an apartment together and then moving will take time and require communication. Then put all the “reminders” in a suitable box and hide it in such a far corner that you can’t just get it out.

One of our readers shared that she packed shirts, framed photos and stuffed animals from her ex into a box and sent them to the garage of a friend who lives an hour away. So, when the next attack of nostalgia came, and this happened in the late evenings, I no longer wanted to go overnight looking at the other end of the city for the sake of a box.

The same thing needs to be done with virtual “reminders”. Delete everything from your phone, and on a desktop computer or flash drive, pack it into several folders with a password.

When the time comes and you're ready, all that's left to do is throw it away.

Keep busy2

And they are so busy that they have no energy left for anything. And even more so for a melancholic mood with sad melodies. Have you long dreamed of mastering a new profession? Great! Now is the time. Or maybe a new gym has opened near your home? Well, a great reason to get your body in order. Have you ever gotten around to renovating your apartment? Guess what you will do next. It doesn’t matter at all what you do - it will still only benefit you. In addition, it has long been proven that during physical work a huge amount of endorphins is released. And they can significantly reduce your heartache from breaking up.

Pathology of grief distribution: physiology of feelings

The loss of a girl with whom a man may have wanted to unite his heart and life can affect his general condition: psycho-emotional, physical. When the feelings are very strong, the grief is deep, symptoms of ailments, pathologies, and in especially severe cases – serious illnesses appear. First of all, against the background of stress, heart problems arise (the heartbeat rhythm is disturbed, pain appears). In addition, chills may appear or, conversely, the person may feel feverish. This is the action of the blood supply system, vessels that narrow and expand, allowing blood to pass through.

Some people have headaches, stomach pain, disturbed sleep, and loss of appetite. Strokes and heart attacks often occur due to stress. But people still exhaust themselves with difficult experiences. Similar problems arise in cases when a guy goes too deep into suffering and cannot move on after the death of his beloved.

Sadness, grief, pain - all these words mean: something is wrong with you

During the period of acute grief (up to 40 days after the death of a loved one), some feelings are quite natural. These include pain, anger, resentment, grief. But if a person was able to overcome emotions of such strength, then he is on the road to recovery. Otherwise, the period of grief will increase, the person will get stuck in it and will not be able to get out. This explains why some of the emotions remain negative for a long period - they are not lived through, they cause pain to a person, even if many years have passed. When a guy finds himself in the process of long-term grief, he needs help.

Bereaved people regularly face judgment, criticism and disregard for their feelings

If the grieving person is sincere and does not hesitate to show the magnitude of his grief, many may misunderstand this. It is believed that a man should not show such free feelings. Sincerity and an open heart are the main factors that determine the speed of grief after the death of a girl. If a person does not try to replace them with other things, new habits, he will soon restore his psyche.

If you continue to suffer, then you are doing something wrong.

Sometimes feelings do not go away, despite the correct behavior of the grieving person. As a result, the period of grief is extended many times over. A guy who has lost his girlfriend realizes that he has taken a wrong turn somewhere. However, just knowing the rules for living with pain is no longer enough. It is important to understand how long the acute grief phase lasts and what will follow it. Too long a period of recovery turns into a pathological process, when the grieving person revels in his own suffering, is in no hurry to return to life, or cannot, because he does not have support, thinks in negative images, lives in the past, in memories.

Worrying too long is how much

When they talk about long-term grief, they mean experiencing pain for 1 year or more. Many years of mourning are not welcome today. According to the canons of Orthodoxy, suspended sentences have been established (new) - up to 40 days from the moment of death. But this does not mean that you need to cope within the specified period. Haste disrupts the natural process of overcoming grief, and in the same way its pathological prolongation turns into artificial experiences. However, most often the average duration of the normal grief period is 3-6 months.

Stop loving a woman through the body

You might think that I would advise you to fuck everything that moves. It won't work. Sex is not a back-and-forth movement, but an emotional frenzy. Now your sensual part is clogged with your former passion. Towards new ladies you will be as cold as a corpse. The body will not give you the necessary hormones, or maybe the main caliber will not come into combat position at all. Lack of response to women will drop your self-esteem below the basement and you will rush to sob into your ex’s skirt. Drive away bad advisers - don’t run after new asses, they don’t heal.

Crying over your ex isn't that bad. You can smear the tears of love suffering on your cheeks - that means your hands are still able to move. Use movement as a source of emotion: start training. Run to the gym and work out until you get tired. Fatigue is your friend, it releases endorphins - internal painkillers that help you fall asleep.

Aching biceps is better than a broken heart

When my girlfriend left me, I moved my workouts to the time before bed, because I couldn’t fall asleep otherwise. Then I started eating - my overloaded body required nutrition. A little later, anger at the pitiful self gave rise to the first joy - sports results. Aching muscles also helped. A person can experience a limited amount of pain: the body gets tired and no longer allows the brain to suffer.

How to survive a breakup if your beloved wife left you

"Switch"

As soon as you feel that thoughts about your unsuccessful family life are starting to creep up on you again, urgently take the necessary measures - do not plunge into this blues. It is important to learn to “switch” your thoughts in a different direction. Call a business partner, a friend with whom you don’t discuss topics in your personal life - in general, you need to think about something else. You can also go to the gym and focus your energy on self-improvement.

Think about yourself

During the period of experience, the changes in your appearance were probably not for the better. Take a break from your broken marriage and finally take charge of yourself. Your goal is to look better than you did before the divorce. Get a haircut that suits you, pick out a new wardrobe, get in good physical shape. You should look so that you like the reflection in the mirror.

Don't blame only yourself

Even if you believe that you are to blame for the fact that your beloved spouse decided to leave you, then, for sure, everything is not so simple. It is important to remember that both partners are always to blame for the breakdown of a relationship - to one degree or another.