What is atychiphobia, its causes and how to get rid of fear

Everyone is afraid of failure. And they happen to everyone. But some are able to survive this trouble and move on, while others begin to plunge into it and refuse any actions that may not be successful. Gradually, people stop acting altogether and don’t want to do anything. Confidence in one's capabilities is lost and self-esteem decreases.

The pathological irrational fear of failure is called atychiphobia . It manifests itself especially clearly in areas where there is competition - at work, in school. This disorder is quite common in the modern world, where competitiveness is an important factor in success. However, not everyone turns to psychotherapists for help. Most atychiphobes explain their fears and their behavior by character traits.

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Atychiphobia is a destructive disorder. Having not yet taken any action and having given up competition in advance, a person is already sure that he will fail. And he experiences it as an already accomplished fact. That is, achieving success is initially impossible because atychiphobe does nothing to achieve it. He immediately steps aside and gradually destroys himself.

Lack of confidence in oneself and one’s strengths results in depression and mental pathologies. Some people start using alcohol or drugs to relax a little in the constant expectation of their own failure.

Atychiphobia - what is it?

What is atychiphobia? This is the fear of failure, from the Latin atyches - new and φόβος - fear. Fear of failure (fear of the new) is a consequence of low self-esteem, indecision, and dependence on other people’s opinions. It is associated with the fear of criticism, condemnation, censure, punishment. A person with a fear of failure becomes passive, withdrawn, and secretive. He cannot stand up for himself, express his opinion, or try something new. He is tormented by the fear that nothing will work out.

This is interesting! Fear of failure is similar to learned helplessness syndrome. If a person has repeatedly failed in some task(s), then after a while, due to fear and despair, he will not be able to cope even with what he could do well.

The main causes and forms of manifestation of atychiphobia

There are four types of atychiphobia:

Self-isolation and avoidance. A person gives up all desires, initiatives and deeds. He does not strive for self-development and self-improvement. He is tormented by the fear of rejection in his personal life.
Self-sabotage (usually unconscious). A person hinders himself, abandons the task halfway, spoils the result by delays, etc.
Perfectionism. In this case, a person does not try to be the best at everything, but tries to be the best at what he is good at. He becomes fixated on something he knows he won't lose at.
Self-flagellation. A person convinces himself that he doesn’t know anything and can’t do anything; he can’t do anything. He is sincerely confident that he does not have any abilities or talents.

Why fear of failure is formed:

Costs of family education. Criticism and reproach of parents, prohibitions, overprotection, inflated demands and expectations - all this becomes the cause of atychiphobia.
Bullying among peers. Ridiculing failures hurts self-esteem at any age. We can talk about a class (mobbing) or a team at work (bullying), or a university group. Most often the problem occurs among children and adolescents.
Psychotrauma in adulthood. Our whole life has turned into a big race for success. All life, all mistakes and failures become the subject of general discussion and condemnation. Because of this, not every person can endure failures at work, bankruptcy, failures in building a business, divorce and conflicts in relationships, etc.
Evaluate only the result of the activity, and not the efforts made. Some people pay attention only to the final result and forget to summarize the intermediate results. Yes, a person could fail again, but this does not mean that he repeated the same mistakes, did not learn anything last time, did not grow in something.

Sometimes there is a differentiated manifestation of fear of failure. For example, it affects only personal life, work or intimate sphere. In this case, dealing with the root cause is even more difficult. For example, fear of failure at work may be associated with excellent student syndrome and excessive parental demands. Fear in the intimate sphere - due to personal negative experiences or parental prohibitions on sexual relations. Fear in personal life - with personal psychological trauma or overprotection of parents or tyranny in their relationships, divorce.

It is important! Only a psychotherapist, after collecting an anamnesis and studying the client’s life history, will be able to establish the exact root cause of the development of atychiphobia.

Fear of failure: ways of expressing it

It is important to know not only how to overcome the fear of failure, but also what it is expressed in. This phobia has different manifestations. A person refuses to participate in events where there will be new people, new events and places. He is not interested in trying new dishes or learning languages. Sabotage is activated. Most often it manifests itself on a subconscious level, a person may not even know about it. The individual deliberately hesitates, is lazy, worries too much, and finds dozens of other more important things to do. So he expects failure, does not believe in his own strength, that success is achievable.

This category of people is characterized by low self-esteem. They have no confidence in themselves and their own abilities. A person constantly argues that in order to get started, you need to have special skills and talents, and does not strive to comprehend them. Men usually think that they are unworthy of women because of their financial status and appearance. As a result, the individual misses out on success in his personal life and loses his career.

Some people want to be the best at everything they do. As soon as they fail, motivation drops to zero. It is impossible to achieve the ideal.

Atychiphobia is an internal fear. A person cannot realize it; only after analyzing the situation can he come to the conclusion that there is a fear of failure. After this, the individual begins to think about how to overcome fear.

Symptoms of atychiphobia

Autonomic symptoms are nonspecific:

sweating;
pale skin;
tremor;
shiver;
heart failure;
breathing problems;
dyspepsia;
nausea.

Mechanism of development of fear

Fear of failure is paralyzing and leads to self-criticism. This behavior is the result of suppression in childhood. Parents lay down the mechanism of numbness and anxiety before failure. Instead of saying “let’s think about how to fix this,” they lash out with blame and criticism (“look what you’ve done,” “shame on you,” “I told you so”). Parents themselves teach us to dwell on the past rather than look for solutions in the present.

Manifestations of Fear

The behavior of atychiphobe is different, which is typical for him:

self-isolation,
self-sabotage,
passivity,
indecision,
perfectionism (in a narrow area).

This is a lonely person with no hobbies or a very limited range of interests, living according to the “home-work-home” principle. Moreover, at work he performs the same limited list of responsibilities, does not dream of moving up the career ladder, and does not take initiatives.

How fear of defeat works

A person experiences increased anxiety and becomes irritated in situations with a potential threat of failure. For example, submitting a report at work, speaking in public, a job interview. In the later stages of the disorder, panic sets in at the mere thought of calling someone and agreeing on something, going to a business or personal meeting, or starting work on an important project.

All atychiphobes have one thing in common - the fear of doing something wrong, the expectation of failure. They live according to the scenario of losers (E. Berne's theory). Because of the belief that nothing will come of it again, they decide not to even start doing anything. If they take on something, they themselves sabotage the process.

Methods to combat atychiphobia

How to overcome the fear of failure? Is it possible to completely get rid of a phobia? The answer is unequivocal - yes. First of all, you need to work on yourself; if such a need arises, then be sure to contact a psychotherapist. A qualified specialist will help you remove the fear of failure from your life and show you how you can believe in yourself. If a person cannot cope with such a problem, then in life he will be lack of initiative and ineffective.

You can get rid of a phobia yourself using the following methods:

Think more often about why something works and why something doesn’t. We need to remember exactly when the biggest failure occurred and what it was associated with. It may happen that the person himself was not to blame, external circumstances just happened that way. There is no need to reproach yourself for this.
The unknown is another cause of atychiphobia. It is worth collecting as much information as possible about upcoming events. This will create a feeling of confidence, a place to analyze risks and options for the development of events.
It is important to maintain a positive mindset. You need to constantly convince yourself that any business will end in success. Any negative result is also an achievement. It's okay to gain experience. Thanks to him, people rise to the top of fame and become professionals in their field.

How to get rid of the fear of failure without visiting a psychiatrist

Turning self-flagellation into healthy introspection on your own is not easy, but you can try.

Dealing with perfectionism, comfort zone and responsibility

To overcome perfectionism, you need to work with negative thinking, resentment, self-doubt and anxiety. The desire to be the best stems from dependence on other people's opinions, fear of not meeting someone's expectations, or angering someone. Realize that living with an eye on others means living for others, giving your life to them. Offense means the same thing.

To develop positive thinking, use affirmations:

“I am successful”;
“I know what I want”;
“I always achieve my goal”;
“I can handle everything”;
“I don’t have to be perfect and meet other people’s expectations”;
“I love and accept myself.”

Every day expand your comfort zone, try something new, challenge yourself. Without this there is no development.

Dealing with errors

Accept responsibility for mistakes and learn to work with them, do not shift the blame to circumstances. But don’t scold yourself, but objectively analyze the situation. Think about what you did wrong, what you need to consider next time, and what you need to do to prevent it from happening again.

To consolidate new thinking after waking up and before going to bed, say af, “mistakes teach me,” “everyone makes mistakes,” “I have the right to make mistakes,” “he who does nothing makes no mistakes.” Don't call mistakes failures, call them experiences.

Types of Fear of Failure

Atychiphobia is most often expressed as refusal and self-isolation. Such a person does not want to participate in projects and activities that cause difficulty. In this way, he looks for a comfort zone for himself in order to avoid possible failure and setbacks in life.

When an individual exhibits sabotage, then at the subconscious level he cancels out all his efforts. Deadlines are often missed, and deadlines for completing assignments are delayed.

When immobilized, a person finds complete peace, he is inactive. The personality is not interested in development, there is nothing to strive for. If there is self-doubt and low self-esteem, then people look for an excuse that they simply do not have the skills, talents and abilities.

If a person is a perfectionist, then at the pathological level he wants to be the best, no matter in what area. Serious psychological problems can arise here, the functioning of the nervous system is disrupted, since such situations in life are often associated with stress.

The symptoms of fear of failure are identical to any other phobia. The main ones are:

difficulty breathing;
cardiopalmus;
increased nervous excitability;
irritability;
heavy sweating.

When a phobia occurs, a person begins to tremble and may lose consciousness. In some cases, qualified medical assistance is needed.

Psychotherapeutic approaches

You can diagnose fear of failure using a professional diagnostic technique - the Rean questionnaire “Motivation for Success and Fear of Failure (FUN).”

Questionnaire “Motivation for success and fear of failure” (Rean A. A.)

There are two main motives of human activity - the desire to win and the desire to avoid failure. They are contradictory and lead to different results, different behavior and lifestyle. A special test was developed to diagnose the motive for activity. It helps to understand a person’s thoughts: some people choose small tasks so as not to lose, while others are ready to take risks and set big goals. We invite you to take this test too.

Answer “yes” or “no” to 20 statements:

When I start working, I hope for success.
I am always active at work.
I tend to take the initiative.
I try to refuse to perform important tasks.
When choosing tasks, I get thrown from one extreme to another: either very simple tasks or very complex ones.
Difficulties don't scare me. I do not retreat, but look for ways to overcome them.
When I alternate successes and failures, I change my attitude towards success.
I believe that the success of my activities depends on my efforts, and not on external circumstances.
If I need to complete a complex task in a limited amount of time, my productivity decreases.
I am persistent in achieving my goals.
I tend to plan for my distant future.
If I take risks, I do so wisely.
I am not persistent in achieving goals, especially in the absence of external control.
I set myself goals of medium difficulty or slightly exaggerated, but achievable.
If I fail during a task, then the desire to complete it decreases.
With a series of successes and failures, I change my attitude towards failures.
I only plan for the immediate future.
By completing work in a limited amount of time, my productivity increases, even when it comes to completing a difficult task.
When I fail, I don't give up on my goals.
If I myself chose the task, then failures in completing it only increase the desire to achieve the goal.

Give yourself one point for each match:

The answer is “yes” to questions 1,2,3,6,8,10,11,12,14,16,18,19,20.
The answer is “no” to questions 4,5,7,9,13,15,17.

Calculate the total score and summarize:

1–7 points indicate fear of failure;
8–13 points indicate a borderline state (the lower the score, the greater the tendency towards fear of failure, the higher the tendency towards motivation for success);
14–20 points indicate motivation to achieve success.

It is important! Motivation for success is considered a positive and productive motivation. Avoidance motivation is a destructive behavior pattern.

Simple exercises against fear of failure

How to overcome the fear of failure with breathing exercises:

inhale slowly through your nose, round your stomach;
Exhale slowly through your mouth and draw in your stomach.

Repeat until you calm down. You can consolidate the result with another exercise - muscle tension. Alternately tense and relax individual muscle groups.

Below are some more simple tips on how to stop being afraid of failure.

Focusing on what is in our control

Focus on what you can control. Think about what you can do right now to develop yourself and get closer to your life's purpose. If you still don't have a goal, then answer two questions: what you want to be and who you want to be. Now think about what you have already done for this, and what still needs to be done. Make a written plan for working on yourself for a month, a year, five years. There is only one thing that makes fulfilling a dream impossible - the fear of failure.

We constantly develop our competence

Continuous education is the key to success in the modern world. Fear of failure and refusal to do things is caused by lack of confidence in one’s abilities. Are you unsure of your competencies? So expand and improve them.

All or nothing - false attitude

It's time to abandon youthful maximalism and learn to see intermediate results. Did you know that Thomas Edison tried thousands of types of material until he found the right one and made the light bulb burn? The inventor did not give up, because he knew that initially he had a lot of options and one of them would definitely turn out to be winning. And failure only removed one of them, thereby bringing us closer to victory.

Let's be kind to ourselves

Criticism and demands from others over time turn into self-criticism and self-demandingness. Quiet the inner critic and learn to interact with yourself as a friend. Think about how you support your friends. What do you tell them, how do you empathize. Apply this to yourself.

We learn what we can’t do in order to accustom ourselves to failure.

It's normal to make mistakes when learning something new. Failures at the beginning of the journey do not cause condemnation from others and do not frighten the experimenter himself. So start learning something new. This will help overcome the fear of making mistakes.

Finding the origins of the fear of losing

Try to remember the first time you felt the fear of failure. What do you think could be the main reason? Try to pay attention to your childhood and look for the problem there.

Breaking down a complex problem into simple subtasks

Any big task can be broken down into small and understandable tasks. Right now, make a written plan-analysis of the upcoming case. Think about what needs to be done first, and what then, what at the next stage.

Through thorns to the stars - it's about all of us

No worthwhile task comes easy. Making your way is always difficult; you have to make your way through thorny thickets and stumble over pitfalls.

Failure is always temporary

When a football team loses the championship, do the players stop practicing? No, they are preparing for new competitions. So you must remember that a loss is time for better preparation, practicing missing skills, and acquiring new knowledge.

Fear of failure is a poisonous fruit of our mind

Learn to manage your thoughts. Imagine victory, not defeat. Fear lives only in your head.

Stop fighting fear, it’s better to ignore it

Don't get hung up on the idea of conquering fear, instead shift your attention to positive thoughts and self-development. When you are truly passionate about something, there is no room left in your head for worries. But to do this you need to know yourself and understand what you really want.

Don't take other people's opinions to heart

Our brain is designed in such a way that it remembers negativity more than positive. Especially when a person is confident in his worthlessness. You can be praised five times and scolded once, but you will only remember the latter. Try to pay attention to the positive and look less at other people. No person can be liked a priori by everyone, of course, unless he is a hypocrite or a convenient amoeba. It's important that you like yourself and the couple of people who are most important to you.

Look fear in the face

Deliberately make a mistake. You can stand in front of a mirror and say obviously false facts, wrong dates, etc. Or you might do something wrong on purpose. To overcome your fear of failure, read stories of famous people about their failures and overcoming fear.

Modeling

Recreate the situation in which you failed. Speak or write down your emotions, behavior, reactions. Analyze this, think about how else you could have reacted to win. Now consider another situation. Mental modeling allows you to form the attitude that failures can be survived and not repeated next time. After theoretical modeling, you can move on to practical coping with real situations.

It is important! It is recommended to do this exercise under the supervision of a psychologist.

Group trainings

This method is also more suitable for professional treatment. It’s easier to try something new and deal with failures together. In a team or in pairs, participants complete tasks and learn something new. They share their emotions and experiences, suggest alternative models of behavior to each other.

Fixed Mindset (Fixed Mindset)

A person with a fear of failure is stuck in a comfort zone. Moreover, this zone is rarely truly comfortable; it would be more correct to call it a cage. A fixed consciousness prevents you from leaving the cage. Man is accustomed to being content with what he has and not interfering where he is not asked. And also such a person believes that people do not change, abilities do not develop, and talent is a given. In fact, success depends 99% on work and only 1% on ability.

Within a narrow specialty, such a person is usually an authority. And this is what causes fear. A person with a fixed mindset is afraid to learn something new, change profession or field of activity. He is afraid of losing authority.

Methods for dealing with fear of failure

How to independently overcome the fear that nothing will work out (if it’s not a child’s psychotrauma):

Try to remember the situation in which you first felt the fear of failure. Analyze a failure that made you doubt your own abilities. Did everything depend on you? If the responsibility rests solely on your shoulders, then think about what you need to learn? What should you consider next time?
Is your fear related to the unknown? Then prepare for the upcoming event. Collect more information, imagine a successful development of events.
Learn to take calculated risks. To do this, you need to know yourself well and be confident in your capabilities, abilities, knowledge, skills. Cultivate adequate self-perception and avoid excessive ambitions.
If you want to give up something because of fear, then evaluate the prospects. Will refusal bring greater losses than probable failure?
Have a plan B. You probably won't need it, but having one will give you confidence.

Some people constantly lose because they do not know how to adequately assess their strength. Learn to set realistic goals and get to know and accept yourself. Goals should correspond specifically to your characteristics, interests, and abilities. How else can you get rid of fear? Here are some tips.

Growth mindset

A growth mindset, or flexible mind, is the opposite of a fixed mind. A person with such an attitude is confident that anyone can achieve what they want. He is confident in himself and is not used to giving up. He perceives mistakes as experience, is not afraid to embarrass himself in front of people, and does not need everyone’s approval.

Reward for effort

Parents praise their children for excellent grades and scold them for bad ones. Students receive a scholarship for good studies and automatic credits for regular visits. Moreover, the final result is evaluated, but the personal progress of each person remains unnoticed.

Changing the Concept of Failure

Success is the result of a lot of work. Success or failure is not influenced by external factors. Therefore, this cannot be regarded as bad luck, bad luck, etc. Change your attitude towards failure and understand that it is just an indicator of what you still need to work on in order to succeed. Maybe you lacked motivation or certain skills or knowledge. View losses and mistakes as opportunities for personal growth and self-improvement.

How to give a child a growth mindset

We have already said that the fear of failure is instilled from childhood. By the age of six, the basis of the life scenario has been formed. What kind of upbringing puts a loser scenario in a child’s head:

criticism;
excessive demands;
parents' love for straight A's and obedience;
punishments for mistakes;
comparison with other children (“all children are like children, but you are a fool”);
suppression of independence (“I’m on my own, you won’t succeed again anyway,” “don’t get involved, otherwise you’ll lose”);
shaming and reproach (“don’t disgrace me in front of people”).

To give a mindset for growth, you need to constantly praise your child. And not so much for the result, but for the process. It is necessary to emphasize what the child has learned, even if he has failed. We need to develop a new plan together and praise them for their courage and determination.

Failures haunt you: what to do

Any fear is destructive in nature. Fear of failure leads to negative consequences, so it is important to look for ways to overcome fear. First of all, you need to seek help from a psychologist or psychotherapist, since atychiphobia affects your personal life and professional activities. It will be difficult to overcome fear at the pathological level on your own.

To get rid of fear on your own, you can resort to the following methods:

It is important to try to remember a situation where success was achieved or luck smiled. You need to record such thoughts. Then draw a parallel with the moments where the fear of failure appeared, and comprehend the reasons for its occurrence. It is possible that the responsibility was too much for the person; the parents were too demanding of the child.
In order to avoid atychiphobia, experts advise planning your activities. You can describe each of the stages when completing a task assigned to yourself or other people. Positive results should be recorded on paper. This way the results can be easily predicted. The individual knows what he needs to achieve success.
In some situations, you need to refuse other people if there is uncertainty in completing the task. You shouldn't take thoughtless risks. If the result is negative, the fear of failure will only intensify.
If possible, it is better to assess the risks of refusing an order. A missed chance is not always a failure. Sometimes this preserves health and peace of mind, which is much more important.
If you are afraid of failure, experts advise to always have backup options. This is a kind of safety net; you can quickly change your plans and adjust your strategy in your favor.
Determination is another key to success. While waiting, the feeling of fear intensifies, trembling and a panic attack appear. You shouldn’t drive yourself into a dead end; it’s important to think through ways of retreat.

It’s better to adjust yourself to the fact that failures are an integral part of life, all people go through it. Every problem has options to solve it.

Psychologists recommend including introspection and studying your strengths and weaknesses. You need to constantly work on improving your own skills. At each stage, it is worth noting successes and mistakes that will need to be corrected in the future.

Atychiphobia and sex

Men are more likely to face the fear of failure in bed. They are afraid of erection problems or that they will disappoint a woman. Someone is afraid that a woman will tell her friends about a man’s failures. Someone is afraid of repeating an unsuccessful personal experience. Someone is tormented by the fear of a girl’s rejection. One way or another, a vicious circle forms: fear creates tension, tension leads to failure, fear strengthens.

How to get rid of the fear of failure in bed? To treat atychiphobia in the sexual sphere, you need to look for and work through psychotrauma. Most often the problem lies in the relationship with the mother. Impotence lives in the head and is associated with fear of women as such. But the root cause is a specific woman.

Sexual failure anxiety syndrome

Most likely, the man was raised by an authoritarian mother. She suppressed and instilled uncertainty. Non-acceptance of one’s appearance, worries about one’s financial or social situation, memories of past unsuccessful relationships, conviction of one’s own worthlessness (“I am not worthy of this woman”, “I have no right to make a mistake”, “I cannot disappoint her”) – prerequisites for sexual failure.

Some people are afraid of the first intimacy. It seems to a person that everything should go according to some scenario. It is important to understand that sex is creativity and improvisation. This is fun, not work to be graded. Of course, in a serious relationship you have to work on this area in order to achieve complete harmony. But there's nothing wrong with that. The main thing is to be able to talk frankly and not be afraid to try.

Why are there failures?

Fear of failure appears in childhood. Many parents do not know how to properly raise their child. They do not know how to control their own emotions and often lower their children’s self-esteem. As soon as a child makes a mistake, adults immediately begin a psychological attack against him, which is often accompanied by physical violence. Such parents need to think for themselves how to overcome the fear of failure, since they were raised in the same way.

Children constantly pass situations through themselves and model them. They copy the rules of behavior in society, and as teenagers they begin to imitate other more successful people. In the situation described above, parents are prone to self-reflection; they have a heightened emotional background. Instead of explaining to the child how to behave correctly in a given situation, they experience anger, malice, and aggression. All this multiplies and prevents the development of positive thinking and self-confidence.

How to overcome the fear of failure? First of all, you don’t need to focus on failures and cut yourself off from the outside world. You need to think about how you can fix a specific problem. The fact that a person feels paralyzed during a stressful situation means only one thing: in childhood, in such cases, psychological pressure was exerted on him, the mechanism of numbness was triggered, and the child was seized with fear.

It is important to ask the child how he sees the solution to the problem, what to do to avoid repeating the failure in the future. This is how a creative personality is brought up; she can overcome any difficulties.

Prevention

Prevention involves getting rid of uncertainty and complexes, dependence on other people's opinions. Accept and love yourself. Study your strengths, weaknesses and abilities. You must understand the meaning of your life and your purpose (calling), see the purpose of life. You don't have to live up to other people's expectations, but you must have a strong self-concept within you. Get closer to your ideal in your personal vision. Do not forget to take into account individual psychological characteristics: temperament, inclinations, mental properties, physical characteristics.