Get out of your comfort zone: 3 reasons why and 3 steps how

Greetings, friends! Imagine an ordinary situation. A person lives in peace, goes to a decent job, after which a beautiful wife and healthy children are waiting for him at home. On weekends he spends time with friends or lies peacefully on the sofa; in the summer he can afford to take his family to the sea for a week or two. He had a stormy youth, and a prosperous old age awaits him. In general, everything is fine. But psychologists and personal growth coaches unanimously insist that he urgently needs to leave his comfort zone. Why do this if it is so comfortable? Why disrupt the idyll of a planned, safe life? In fact, there are reasons for this. Today we will talk about how to get out of your comfort zone, why to do it, and what a personal comfort zone is in general.

What is a comfort zone

Let's start, as usual, with Wikipedia:

Comfort zone is an area of living space in which a person feels confident and safe. However, such comfort can be dangerous and deceptive, because a person stops developing and endures inconvenience for the sake of stability.

And now in your own words. The desire for comfort is a natural and natural phenomenon. Each of us subconsciously strives for security and chooses the path of least resistance, isn’t it?

In other words, a comfort zone is a state when you are surrounded only by what is familiar , and you only do what you know how to do well . Because of this, each day can be similar to the previous one, like Groundhog Day. You know exactly how it will go, because you have lived the same days hundreds (or thousands) of times. But you feel comfortable and relaxed, as if “at ease.”

Constantly being inside your comfort zone can be called living on minimum wage. This is a psychological state in which you need to make a minimum of effort to lead a calm lifestyle. It all may come down to the fact that you will simply cover your needs .

Remember the fat guys from the cartoon "Wally"? This is a great example of living inside your comfort zone. They closed themselves off in it so much that there was no need to even walk on foot. In our lives, this means successful degradation and an inability to challenge ourselves:

Why look for a better job if I'm used to enduring this one?
Why get rid of excess weight if I'm used to telling everyone that I have wide bones?
Why study programming if I'm used to spending my free time in a bar?
Why do anything at all if it will do?

Each person's comfort zone is different. For example, for a skydiver, falling out of an airplane every day is a common occurrence. But the thought of raising children can cause fear and the question “why?”

Trying something new means leaving your comfort zone, getting used to something new means expanding your comfort zone, but more on that later. First, let's find out the reasons why you need to do this.

Theoretical basis

Comfort zone theory is a representative model of learning and personal growth. Initially, this theory was used by large multinational companies in the field of human resource management to train their employees by maximizing their productive potential. Today it is very popular all over the world, especially in the field of coaching.

This popularization led to an idealization of the method, causing attempts to apply it to various fields without analyzing its limitations.

Although a term used in the fields of personal development , psychology, and coaching, the origins of the concept go back to a classic psychological experiment conducted in the early 20th century by Robert M. Yerkes and John. D. Dodson.

In the study, they found that a state of relative comfort led to a constant level of performance. They also indicated that in order to improve this performance, a certain degree of anxiety or stress must be induced. They called this space “optimal anxiety” and placed it outside of the comfort zone.

Other thoughts about this concept are, for example, the thoughts of some scientists who define it as behavior in which a person takes a neutral anxious position. Or management experts who describe the “optimal performance zone” as an area that can be improved by adding a certain amount of stress. They concluded that anxiety improves performance only up to the point where an optimal level of arousal is reached.

However, this means that achieving higher levels of anxiety can lead to a “danger zone” where performance suffers.

Many theories around this concept agree on representing the comfort zone in a diagram of concentric circles.

The inner circle will be a comfort zone, the next one will be a zone of risk or inadequacy. The third circle is the learning zone. According to the theory, the only way to learn and develop is to move in the field. This would be choosing new activities, learning or changing habits, incorporating knowledge and skills, exploring unknown places, etc. The fourth is the growth zone , where risks are taken and personal growth is achieved as a counterpart.

This cycle can be repeated ad infinitum as soon as we tell ourselves again: “Get out of your comfort zone immediately!”

Why you need to leave your comfort zone, 3 reasons

The advantage of being inside your comfort zone is that you know that nothing out of the ordinary will happen. The downside is the same - nothing will happen, and you know it.

I will list a few names. Think about what unites them?

Elon Musk (where would we be without him?);
Jim carrey;
Stephen King;
Sylvester Stallone;
Arnold Schwarzenegger;
Elvis Presley;
Oprah Winfrey;
Walt Disney;
Bill Gates;
Steve Jobs;
Albert Einstein;
Thomas Edison;
Steven Spielberg;
Henry Ford;
Michael Jordan;
(the list could go on, I just wanted it to be long enough).

Besides the fact that you have heard the name of each of them at least once, they all come from the “lower classes.” They didn't have a ticket to world fame in the form of a rich dad or a lucky coincidence. At one time, they all left their comfort zone and started working hard. And here's what it's all about:

Difficulties and negative incidents lead to positive results.

There is another option for the development of events. What if everyone on this list asked themselves “why?” and decided to just move on with your usual normal life? You would just read a list of random unknown names.

Three reasons why you need to step out of your comfort zone:

The comfort zone is not where it is comfortable, but where it is familiar and safe. In other words, you can frankly suffer from being in your comfort zone, but still refuse to leave it because of your habit of living this way.
Getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to develop. Arnold Schwarzenegger said that in order for muscles to develop, they need to be constantly shocked. The same workout will no longer bring results over time, as the muscles adapt to it. The same applies to other aspects of life: to develop, you need to break your usual (comfortable) plan of action.
Stepping out of your comfort zone will make you happier. This is a continuation of the previous point. Recent psychological research has shown that the primary ingredient for a happy life is progress. Psychologist Shawn Achor describes happiness as the joy you feel as you move toward your potential.

If you're scared

Fears accompany a person throughout his life.

Answer these questions with your fingers crossed for every “yes” answer.

Were you bullied as a child in a way that made you feel afraid?
At school did you find it difficult to find a common language with your classmates?
Did you feel like a black sheep?
Do you feel nervous before talking to a stranger?
Do you feel uncomfortable surrounded by your colleagues (classmates, classmates)?
Do you prefer solitude rather than company?
Have you ever been in a conflict situation with a person you are afraid of?
Have you been scared, threatened or beaten as an adult? (Open aggression)
Were you afraid of your parents in your youth and childhood?
Do you have complexes or phobias?

The more points you score, the more you need to trust.

Trust this world.
Trust the people around you.
Trust life, its flow.

Useful practices

Remember everyone who hurt you and trust them. Make peace if you are still in a quarrel. Forgive them. Remember: we are all human.
Re-evaluate situations where you were bullied. When a person screams, he asks for help. This is a sign of weakness, not strength. A strong man does not shout, he is calm. Your offenders were simply weak, they were afraid that they would not be able to overcome the circumstances.
Life is too short to hold a grudge. Let him go. And hold on to something nicer. For example, for happiness, joy, carelessness. Don’t have the habit of remembering who offended you and how. The past must remain the past. It was and was.
A person loves to remember all the grievances from school, store them in memory, cherish them. Make it a habit to erase such memories. Instead, remember your best moments. You can arrange a meeting with friends, where you can tell each other about the best moments of life over a glass of wine.

Getting out of your comfort zone is the only way to develop. Do this more often, involve your friends and family in it. Don't let your children get stuck in a routine either.

Memo to parents

Today, schoolchildren and even preschoolers already have their own small comfort zone. They grow up clinging tightly to it and limit themselves to it.

What are the attributes of a child’s comfort zone?

Computer games.
Cartoons and TV. (Especially TV series).
Phone or tablet.
Staying at home all the time.
Constantly being outside.

In other words, everything that is too much in life will eventually become a habit. And habit creates a comfort zone around a person. If a child spends all his time with friends, it will be impossible to drive him home. The comfort zone will be outside the home. And if the baby is not allowed to see friends at all, he will grow up withdrawn, and his comfort zone will be at home.

The secret of human freedom lies in the absence of attachments. It is impossible not to become attached to your children, to your spouse, to your parents. But people need personal space. You can't help but love your home. But you can’t make it a fortress: it shouldn’t become the only place where you can feel calm and safe.

Alternate change of activities, hobbies, friends, family and work. Everything must change, everything in your life must be dosed. Otherwise, a painful habit arises. This happens with alcohol, with food, with cigarettes, with people. Once you start messing with something, it’s hard to stop. The law of inertia applies here.

How to get out of your comfort zone, 3 steps

If you want to have something you've never had, start doing something you've never done. (Richard Bach)

Usually what we dream about is outside our comfort zone. And we look at these things from the outside, sitting comfortably, like in a movie theater. Let's finally figure out how to get out of your comfort zone and start doing something that is unusual for you.

3 steps to get out of your comfort zone:

Setting goals;
First steps into the unknown;
Expanding the boundaries of your comfort zone.

And now in more detail about each of them.

Step 1. Setting goals

After realizing that you are stuck in your comfort zone (if that is the case), you need to set goals. Write down what you want to do or achieve. Then write down the reasons or fears that keep you from taking action.

For example, losing weight is a great goal, but many people don’t even try. Why:

nutrition for weight loss - I don’t know how to count calories, I love McDonald’s too much, I’ll suddenly lose it;
running in the morning - it’s hard to wake up, it’s cold to run in winter, but I won’t make it to the track;
the gym - there are only jocks there, everyone will laugh at me;
friends - no one will go jogging with me, they invite me to McDonald's again, others live with excess weight and do not worry.

Taken together, these reasons can lead to the question “why?” But once you look at them individually, these reasons no longer seem like such a global obstacle. No one has ever died without McDonald's, just like running in the morning (probably). Regular training in the gym, on the contrary, will earn you respect, and friends can join you, appreciating your zeal and seeing the results.

Step 2. First steps into the unknown

Start small. Do something you don't usually do:

if you want to lose weight, learn to count calories and control your diet;
if you want to change a job that you have hated for the last 10 years, look through interesting vacancies and sign up for an interview;
if you want to master a programming language, sign up for courses and start learning it, now there is a ton of this stuff on the Internet;
if you want to blog, put it first, don’t put work aside at the first urge to turn on a TV series or go to a bar with friends (yes, this is about me).

With every step outside your comfort zone, you will understand more and more clearly that it is not killing you, but on the contrary - everything is working out for you! This will calm you down, and the next step will be much easier to take. You will begin to get used to the fact that doing things that are unusual for you is possible and doable.

The boundaries of your comfort zone will expand along with your actions. And soon what just recently caused you fear will become familiar to you.

Step 3. Expanding the boundaries of your comfort zone

I found a great article by Matt Pryor on the RedBull website about getting out of your comfort zone and pushing its boundaries. Here's what he writes:

As you challenge yourself more and more, you will eventually reach a point where nothing bothers you too much. You will still have a healthy respect for fear. But you will have so much experience and confidence that you will feel comfortable in almost all situations. Adventures, big or small, are a great way to learn several life lessons and experiences in a very short period of time, hence my addiction to them.

Here are Matt Pryor's tips on how to get out of your comfort zone:

Start saying “yes” in situations in which you usually say “no.” Especially if you intuitively feel that you should agree, or you simply would like to, but are afraid.
Don't plan everything as carefully as you usually do. Have fun with everything happening on the fly.
When you have a great hot shower, suddenly switch it to the coldest setting. Let it be your choice.
Change your route to work, college or school. Make ordinary things more interesting.
Embrace the unknown and uncertainty.
Surround yourself with people who are constantly growing, experimenting, and pushing you forward. Learn from them. Sometimes simple observation is enough to make changes in your life.
Think of yourself as a river. The river does not stop when it encounters obstacles. It spreads out in different branches, sometimes has whirlpools, but ultimately gets to its destination.

Time for a change

Sometimes leaving your comfort zone is triggered by changing circumstances, negative (illness, death of a loved one) or positive (successful marriage, a sharp career leap or popularity). But there are cases when you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone. As a rule, this happens when a person realizes the lack of further prospects with an unchanged lifestyle, when he is ripe for change, but has no idea where to start. It’s easy to understand that the time for change has come. The most obvious sign of this is this: you are no longer satisfied with your life. Why leave your comfort zone? Each of us must answer this question for ourselves.

Article on the topic

Give me the complaint book! How to stop complaining about fate

At the same time, it is worth understanding that any changes are difficult, especially if we are not used to them, there is no correct motivation and action plan. Very often, when faced with difficulties, a person decides to quickly go back, because he understands that it will be even more difficult further, but he does not want, cannot, or is simply afraid. And you always need to understand why you need to do it, and also be disciplined in order to achieve your goal every day, without putting it off until next week or until payday.

Outside our comfort zone lie all the great opportunities of this world, but it would be wrong to think that by leaving our comfort zone we immediately get them. Very often, what remains outside the boundaries of stability are our dreams that we never decided to realize, plans that remained just plans, etc. The most important thing in life is behind our fears. Overcoming fears is the very point of growth that makes it possible to achieve and expand your boundaries.

Calm zone. How to stop worrying? More details

Bottom line

Leaving your comfort zone can be compared to preparing to jump into cool water. You know that it will be cool later, but you just can’t muster up the courage and avoid the cold splashes. But once you jump into the water, you no longer understand why you waited so long.

Life begins where your comfort zone ends. It's simple: to get out of your comfort zone and feel the results, you need to start doing things that are unusual for you.

I decided to write this post about the comfort zone after I caught myself thinking that I often get stuck in it. This is also a thankless job that you are reluctant to change due to habit. And a lifestyle in which I only think about future achievements, but remain in place and waste time on nonsense.

Friends, what do you think about this? Are you trying to expand your comfort zone, what methods do you use? Write in the comments, it will be interesting to read!

In order not to miss my next articles, get out of your comfort zone and subscribe to blog updates by email!

See you again! Your Alexander Gorokhov :)

Six human needs

To understand how to get out of your comfort zone, you need to understand the cause-and-effect relationships. A person has 6 psychophysical needs. Both soul and body require them.

Comfort and safety.
Development and personal growth.
Diversity.
The need to give, to do good deeds for other people.
The need to be needed. This is love, respect, recognition.
The need for communication and interaction with other people. Because irreversible changes occur in a person’s psyche if he is left in isolation for a long time.

Each of these needs forms a comfort zone. It all depends on what is more important to a person.

People who prioritize comfort and protection live in fear; it is too important for them to constantly feel protected.
Those who need more love and respect become hostages of unhealthy relationships with parents or relationships with a partner. These are too close ties with mothers, wild jealousy and suspicion in marriage.
When development comes first, we see before us a mature personality who is not afraid to leave her comfort zone in order to develop. This is the most acceptable option for prioritizing.
People who are addicted to communication make a large number of friends. They are not fully responsible for their lives and actions, they constantly ask for advice, and are afraid to make decisions.
The need to do good for others makes people ardent defenders of nature and animals, people who serve in the church and do charity work. They are capable of complete dedication to their own detriment. They often cross the line and become victims in relationships with people.

How to avoid getting stuck in your comfort zone again

A comfortable, pleasant, calm life whispers not to change anything. But you and I already know what this entails. Therefore, I want to offer you several simple methods and exercises that will help you cope with the state of stagnation.

Meditation . This is a great way to stop and think about where you are going. In addition, it promotes the development of self-control, resistance to stress, flexibility in problem solving, and concentration.
Volunteering . This method guarantees new acquaintances, communication and a good mood.
Speaking to the public . A huge number of people are afraid to speak in public. It doesn't matter whether you're speaking in front of thousands of people or making a toast with your family. In any case, this will develop your speaking abilities.
Meeting new people . Train yourself to start a conversation with a stranger every day. It is not necessary to exchange phone numbers. You can just exchange a few phrases. There are a lot of interesting people around, and by communicating with them you can learn a lot of new things.
Trips . This point does not mean that you need to buy plane tickets and fly to another country. You can go to a neighboring city and go hiking. Basically, go somewhere you haven't been before. Even if you have lived in one place since childhood, there will always be new interesting places in the area.
The ability to say “no” . The inability to refuse limits you greatly. By agreeing to fulfill any request, you are robbing yourself of precious time and energy. But they could have spent it usefully and done really important things.
Sports . You don't have to strive to set world records. You just need to start going to the pool, gym or just jogging in the morning. Physical activity gives you positive energy.

Well, a few more simple actions, the implementation of which will help you go beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone:

try new dishes;
change your usual routes;
don't watch TV;
Every week, have a day without the Internet;
give away or throw away unnecessary things and trash;
rearrange the furniture;
change your clothing style;
get a pet (cat, dog, hamster, snail, fish, etc.);
start a personal diary or blog;
sign up for courses to study something you have long wanted to learn;
watch movies, read books, listen to music of genres that are unusual for you.

And finally, I suggest you watch a short interesting video on the topic of the article.

How to understand when it's time to expand your boundaries

Most people experience stress when they have to change something in their life. The older a person is, the more difficult it is for him to agree to these changes and accept them. He protects his peace and comfort. Prolonged stay in such a state of stagnation leads to personality degradation.

Imagine that you were offered to change your job and move to another city where you have never been. Be honest, what are you experiencing? Fear? Don't you really want to change anything? If so, then you are deeply stuck in your comfort zone.

Fear is a completely natural reaction of the body to change. But it shouldn’t slow you down, force you to run away from problems, or resist innovation. This is a destructive feeling.

The reaction to the upcoming changes may be different: pleasant excitement, curiosity, interest. These feelings will force you to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone, accept new circumstances and adapt to them.

There are two points without which you will not be able to leave your comfort zone.

Awareness . This is the most important step towards exit. Until you yourself realize that you are deeply mired in the illusion of comfort, you will not even try to get out of it. What do you have? Familiar but boring work. Tiny, but its own apartment. Outdated, but established relationships. Perhaps, deep down, all this causes dull irritation.
No boundaries . We limit ourselves, set barriers, because it’s calmer. One bear lived for a long time in a cramped cage, measuring 5 steps forward and backward. When he was finally moved to a spacious enclosure, he still continued to measure the same 5 steps. Free your consciousness from fictitious boundaries. Don't be like a caged animal.

You will never dare to leave your comfort zone until you realize that you have a problem. And this problem needs to be solved. Ready to take a step outside?