The ability to cope with stress varies depending on various factors: a person's personality type, worldview, ability to cope with their emotions, genetics, the quality of relationships they have in their life, the presence or absence of sources of support, their sense of control, their how familiar he is with the situation.
The simple understanding that it is possible to control the situation is the basis of stress management.
Stress management is the ability to control thoughts, emotions, schedules, and actively solve existing problems.
Wrong Strategies for Dealing with Stress
Very often, in moments of stress, people begin to smoke, drink alcohol, take psychoactive substances, overeat or not eat at all, and avoid communicating with friends and family. Sometimes a person may begin to spend hours in front of the TV or “hang out” in front of the computer.
Another strategy is to create employment throughout the day, lack of free time as an avoidance of the problem and one’s responsibility in this particular situation. An increase in the duration of sleep, situations of splashing out one’s stressful emotions on others in the form of attacks of anger, lack of self-control, and physical violence are also not uncommon. But all these strategies help only temporarily cope with stress and may even be harmful in the long run.
There are healthier and natural ways to manage stress.
Express test:
Examine your stress levels
Never take on the role of a victim
“No matter how disgusting your situation may be, try not to blame external forces for it: history, the state, authorities, race, parents, the phase of the moon, childhood, untimely potty training - the menu is extensive and boring,” said the poet Joseph Brodsky, speaking to graduates of the University of Michigan in 1988.
Such acceptance of the position of a weak-willed victim of circumstances or some external forces deprives a person of willpower and his own determination to act.
“In general, try to respect life not only for its charms, but also for its difficulties,” the writer noted, addressing the young audience.
Healthy Strategies for Dealing with Stress
The first step in management is to stop, take a few deep breaths, and identify the sources of stress in your life. It's not as simple as it sounds. However, determining what the cause is is very important. Until you understand the role you play in creating and maintaining stress in your life, the level of stress will be beyond your control.
Based on an understanding of this point, recommended ways to deal with stress are built. They are presented below.
Avoiding unnecessary stress
There are situations and stress factors, to remove which it is necessary to make responsible decisions and change something radically. But in many cases, these factors are not so serious; they are enough to be detected and simply removed.
Learn to say no.
Taking on obligations that you cannot fulfill is stressful. It is important to know what you are capable of and to be realistic about your capabilities.
Avoid communicating with people who have an unfavorable influence on you.
If someone is a bad influence on you, and it is not possible to change the relationship, you can simply limit communication with the person or end the relationship.
Fill your environment with what interests you, what is pleasant, what gives you energy.
If there are any activities, things or thoughts that please you, bring them into your life. If there is something that makes you anxious, like the evening news, simply change the channel or don't watch TV.
Avoid topics that upset you or create unnecessary arguments.
Reduce your list of things to do.
Analyze your schedule, responsibilities and daily tasks. Sort them by importance. Move the least important points to the end of the list, and if possible, completely get rid of unnecessary things.
Changing the situation
If you cannot avoid a stressful situation, try to change it. Very often, this strategy involves changing the way you interact with people in your daily life.
Express your feelings, don't hide them.
If something or someone bothers you, express your concerns openly and respectfully. If you don't voice your feelings, misunderstandings may arise, and the situation will most likely not change.
Make a compromise.
When you ask someone to change a behavior, be prepared for changes in your behavior as well. If you are both willing to compromise, then you have a chance to find peace.
Be more confident, express yourself.
Solve problems, don't sit in the back seat of the car of your life. If there is a task that you need to complete, and a friend comes to chat with you, just say that you can only give him 5 minutes.
Manage your time more effectively.
When you don't manage your time, it's difficult to stay calm and focused. But if you plan your busy schedule well, it will significantly reduce the stress level in your life.
Adaptation to a stress factor
If you cannot change anything in a situation, try to adapt to it.
Rephrase, change your perception of the problem.
Try to look at the situation positively. If you are in a traffic jam, you can worry about this, or you can use this time to be alone with yourself, listen to your favorite music or useful audio books.
Look at the “big picture,” the “big picture.”
Take a look at how the situation today is affecting your life as a whole. Will it matter in a month, a year? Should we really be upset about this? If the answer is no, then focus your attention, time and energy elsewhere.
Adjust your standards.
Perfectionism is a big source of stress. Don't set the bar too high; this will inevitably lead to disappointment. May you have reasonable standards for yourself and for others.
Focus on the positive
Make time for all the things in your life that make you happy, including your own positive qualities and gifts. This simple method will help us switch from negative perceptions and see perspective.
Acceptance of the situation
If you cannot change something and perceive it in a good light, take the situation for granted.
Some sources of stress cannot be avoided. We cannot remove serious illnesses, deaths of loved ones, or economic crises from our lives. In such cases, the best way to cope with stress is to accept everything as it comes. This is sometimes not easy to do, but in the long run it is easier than going against the grain all the time.
Don't try to control what you can't control.
Much in our lives is beyond our control, especially the behavior of other people. Instead of trying to control it, focus on what you can influence, such as how you react to certain circumstances.
Look at the situation from the other side.
As the saying goes, “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Consider everything that happens to you as a test, an opportunity to develop and become stronger.
Share your feelings.
Talk to a trusted friend or make an appointment with a therapist. Sometimes it’s enough just to talk and share with someone who understands you the situation that worries you. Opening up and talking about your feelings is not a sign of weakness. A true friend will support you, will be glad that you trust him, and this will only strengthen your friendship.
Learn to forgive.
Accept that we don't live in a perfect world and people make mistakes. Let go of resentment and anger. Release negative energy through forgiveness and move on.
Positive perception
The way you think can have a profound impact on your emotional and physical well-being.
Love yourself.
Every time you think negatively about yourself, your body reacts to such thoughts as excruciating pain during a stressful situation. If you see good qualities in yourself and think well of yourself, you are more likely to feel better about yourself. This mechanism also works in the opposite direction. Try not to use words such as “always”, “never”, “should”, “must”. These are signs of self-destructive thoughts.
Make time for fun and relaxation.
If you regularly relax, enjoy yourself and have fun, you will be in a better position to manage the stress in your life.
Practice healthy ways to relax and recharge. A walk in nature, calling a good friend, writing in a journal, or a good workout will help relieve stress.
You can use other methods of relaxation. Take a bath, light aromatic candles or sticks with a pleasant aroma for you, arrange a tea ceremony for yourself by brewing a cup of hot tea with herbs, or brew delicious coffee (If tea is caffeinated, then just like coffee, it is advisable to drink it before 14.00, and herbal teas can be consumed in the evening).
Play with a pet, work in the garden, get a massage, read an interesting book, listen to music, watch a comedy.
Remember to take care of yourself. This is a necessity, not a luxury.
Schedule time for relaxation or meditation.
Incorporate rest and relaxation into your schedule throughout the day. Don't let other circumstances take away this time. This is your time to take a break from all obligations and you need it to recharge your internal battery.
Talk to people.
Spend time with people who think positively and improve your life. A strong support system will protect you from the negative effects of stress.
Do something you enjoy every day.
Make time for activities that bring you joy, whether it's stargazing, playing the piano, riding a bike, or working out on an exercise machine.
Keep your sense of humor.
This refers to the ability to laugh at oneself. Laughter helps the body fight stress.
Healthy lifestyle
It's no secret that a healthy body means a healthy mind. Take advantage of it!
Exercise regularly.
Physical activity plays a key role in reducing and preventing the effects of stress. It is enough to exercise just 30 minutes 3 times a week. Nothing beats aerobic exercise for combating stress and tension.
Eat properly and balanced.
If your body is well nourished, it will cope better with stress, so be mindful of what you eat. Reduce your intake of sugar and caffeine, they lead to poor mood and energy imbalance. If you reduce your intake of coffee, sugary drinks, chocolate and confectionery, you will begin to feel more relaxed and sleep better.
Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.
Drinking alcohol or drugs may seem like an easy way to avoid stress and relax, but the relief is only temporary. Don't avoid or mask problems, face them head on: consciously, with a clear mind and judgment.
Get the number of hours of sleep you need.
Good sleep is essential for your mind and body. Feeling tired will increase your stress levels and also promotes irrational thinking.
Watch a short video about relaxation techniques you can use to relieve tension before bed.
Sports, sports, sports
Svetlana Mustaeva , Candidate of Medical Sciences, Head of the Center for Sports Medicine, Exercise Therapy and Physiotherapy:
— As a practicing physician, I regularly work with patients who neglected reasonable physical activity, that is, did not engage in prevention. My advice to anyone who wants to relieve stress at work: exercise at least three times a week.
How does sport help? It promotes the production of endorphins - hormones that mobilize blood supply. Improving blood supply, in turn, increases performance, eliminates congestion, and increases microcirculation in the vessels. Especially in the brain, which programmers use so actively. IT specialists have sedentary work, and this can cause congestion in the pelvic area. The result is decreased libido, prostatitis in men, and reproductive health problems in women. Sports and fitness will help you avoid these troubles, which in themselves cause stress.
Try to be kind to your parents
— Parents are too close a target (just like brothers, sisters, wives or husbands). The distance is such that you cannot miss,” Joseph Brodsky told graduates of the University of Michigan.
How to raise a stress-resistant child?
More recently, at the beginning of 2021, UN experts released guidelines in which they outlined the main rules as part of the campaign to combat child drug addiction and crime. They drew the attention of readers: in order for children to grow up without cravings for bad things, it is important to praise them.
When we praise a child, it gives him a feeling of security, self-confidence, increases motivation and develops determination. Science says that where children receive parental support and warmth, their self-esteem increases. The main thing is that the praise be sincere and specific. You need to reward for what the child has done, what he has put in the effort, and not for his abilities or appearance.
Dance
By performing voluntary dance movements, we release the tension that has accumulated during the day. Be relaxed and move slowly, making movements that you enjoy.
Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash
Let the music sound inside you. Belly dancing, for example, is a great at-home fitness activity that can help relieve stress.
Disconnect
Thanks to technology, we can always stay connected. It seems as if it should be so. But enjoying peace of mind in your free time is extremely difficult if at any moment an email can change your train of thought.
Regular shutdowns help you control your stress levels and rest. Being in the access zone around the clock, you are only exposed to an inexhaustible stream of stress factors. But if you force yourself to go offline or even turn off your phone, you will allow your head and body to relax.
Studies have shown that simply not checking email on the weekend can help reduce stress.
If you can't ignore work contacts on weekday evenings, then what about the weekends? Choose the right time and protect yourself from business. By incorporating these mental recharges into your weekly schedule, you will be surprised at how refreshing and stress-relieving these breaks are.
If you are worried about negative consequences, try to start by switching off only when the likelihood of someone contacting you is minimal. For example, on Sunday morning. As you begin to get used to such measures, gradually increase the time spent away from technology.
Neutralize unfriendly people
Unpleasant personalities are frustrating, tiring, and stressful. You can manage your interactions with them by controlling your feelings. When you have to deal with such a person, approach the situation wisely. Take care of your emotions and don't let anger or frustration wreak havoc.
At the same time, consider the disagreeable person's point of view and motives to find a path to consensus. Even when everything goes downhill, you can tolerate such a person without letting him drive you crazy.
Keep things in perspective
The reason for our worries often lies in a distorted perception of events. Before you waste a lot of time analyzing your boss's instructions from the last meeting, take a minute to see the whole picture. You can resort to this method when the level of anxiety does not correspond to the real reasons for it.
If you find yourself thinking superficially, then try to rethink the situation. The best way to get rid of this line of thinking is to list the things that actually went wrong. Most likely, you will count one or two points and not bury the whole idea.
To stay calm, it is important to understand that feelings often distort the situation, and the scale of the problem may not be as significant as it seems.
Practice meditation
Self-mindfulness is a simple, research-backed form of meditation that can help you control recalcitrant thoughts and actions. People who practice it concentrate better even when they are not meditating. This technique is great for dealing with stress because it suppresses the feeling of being out of control.
Self-awareness prevents you from spontaneously switching between thoughts, which helps you refrain from negative reasoning. This is a good way to cope with work life while remaining calm and productive.
