Electra complex: causes, manifestations, ways to combat it

• September 12, 2018
• Child psychology
• Lyudmila Frolova

In life, sometimes you can meet a girl who, at an early age, lost her father, and throughout the subsequent years involuntarily idealized him. A teenage girl also stands out for her style of behavior, for whom dreams of boys are more attractive than real relationships with them. It is also somewhat surprising that the daughter continues to protest against her mother, despite the fact that she has already matured and gone through adolescence.

Many girls and women for whom this style of behavior is the norm have an Electra complex. Surely not many people have heard of this. What is this complex? What are the causes of its occurrence and ways to eliminate it? The answers to these questions can be found in this article.

What kind of complex is this?

In psychology, there are two phenomena that have cross-cutting significance. These are the Oedipus complex and the Electra complex. The first of these two concepts describes the sexual attraction that a son has towards his mother. At the same time, such a boy shows a jealous attitude towards his father. Most often, the child enters into competition with him. He considers his father an enemy and fights with him for his mother's love.

The concept of the Oedipus complex was first introduced by Sigmund Freud. He used it when writing his works on psychoanalysis. When choosing a name for such a mental state, the scientist was guided by an ancient Greek myth. This is a legend about the young man Oedipus, who was deprived of his family by evil fate in infancy. After the boy grew up, he, without knowing it, ended up in the house where his parents lived. The young man fell in love with his mother and decided to marry her. To do this, he killed his father.

The Electra complex in psychology is the female version of the Oedipus complex. The name of this term was first given in 1913 by Carl Jung, a student of Sigmund Freud. Taking into account the plot of a similar myth, he began to use this term when describing the state of a girl’s love for her own father, who at the same time hated her mother. It is worth noting that Freud never recognized the name “Electra complex”. When describing such a phenomenon, he always used the term “female Oedipus complex.”

How to get rid of the victim role

To get rid of the victim role, it is important to analyze the condition into components and fight each of them:

• numerous phobias (fear of loneliness, rejection, condemnation);
• lack of understanding of one’s emotions, desires and needs, inability to express them;
• a ban on aggression (negativity accumulates and destroys from within);
• non-acceptance of oneself and dislike for oneself;
• blurred personal boundaries or their complete absence.

Legend of Electra

This legend has various interpretations. But above all, the myth of Electra is a family tragedy. What is the essence of the conflict described by the legend? The mother of Orestes and Electra, together with Aegisthus, who was her lover, killed her husband Agamemnon. Years later, the children grew up and decided to avenge their father. Orestes, led by Electra, killed Aegisthus and his mother.

This story tells about a girl who was acutely worried about the loss of her father. Until the age of six, Electra was a “daddy’s girl.” She lived in the palace with her father, a powerful king. For ten years Agamemnon was at the Trojan War. During this period, the girl began to idealize her father. His death at the hands of his wife forced Electra to forever fix the image of a courageous and strong man she created, which subsequently could not be corrected in any way.

As we can see, the myth does not at all indicate the little princess’s sexual attraction to her father. However, it beautifully depicts daughterly love. The girl loves her dad and hates her mother, who committed murder.

Freud's opinion

The great scientist believed that the Electra and Oedipus complexes are the pillars of psychoanalysis. In his opinion, most neurotic reactions in a person are formed in connection with an unconscious attraction to the parent who is of the opposite sex. The mental life that will be characteristic of the individual in the future directly depends on the resolution or unsuccessful closure of such complexes. In addition, such phenomena can be considered the first manifestations of sexuality in children. In his works, Freud also pointed out that the described complexes are directly related to religiosity, public relations and morality of an adult person. According to the scientist, Electra syndrome and the Oedipus complex are the main causes of neurotic diseases.

It is interesting that when developing the theory, the scientist closely observed his inner world. At the same time, he discovered that he also had a craving for his mother.

Reasons and prerequisites for development

The Electra complex is not always formed in female psychology. In order for it to form, certain reasons must be present. However, judging by the data of researchers, even if they occur, it is not at all necessary that the girl’s attraction to her father will develop.

What are the prerequisites for the emergence of the Electra complex? In psychology, the following reasons for this phenomenon are identified:

1. The father dreamed of a son, but a daughter was born. Of course, in this case the man experiences disappointment, which he seeks to compensate by spending all his free time with the girl. In this way he binds the child to himself and builds a strong relationship with the baby. Gradually, the daughter gets used to spending time with her father and becomes increasingly weaned from spending leisure time with her mother.
2. Inversion of family roles. Sometimes the mother has a dominant position. In the family, she becomes the main breadwinner. At the same time, the father has to be the stronghold of the house. In such a situation, the father looks dependent and weak against the background of the courageous mother. At the same time, the daughter assumes the function of a “wife,” giving her father care and attention.
3. Quarrels between mother and daughter. After a conflict situation, the girl begins to seek consolation from her father.
4. Mom's busy life. This factor also leads to the daughter spending more time with her father.

Many parents do not even suspect the existence of such a thing as the Electra complex. Nevertheless, a similar syndrome sometimes develops in a child. At the same time, parents, due to ignorance of psychology, simply do not understand this. Sometimes they themselves provoke the development of the Electra complex.

For example, this happens when a father is touched by his daughter’s tender feelings that she shows towards him. Of course, this is considered the norm in psychology. After all, almost all girls at a certain stage of their development excessively show their feelings for loved ones. And it will depend on the parents whether their daughter’s Electra syndrome will go away or develop further. In this situation, the father needs to convey to the baby that he considers her only a girl. The lady of his heart is his mother. Of course, my daughter will suffer a little psychological trauma. Nevertheless, she will move on to the next stage of her development without the Electra complex.

Manifestation in children

Symptoms of the Electra complex in girls become noticeable from the age of 3. In this case, parents can understand the presence of the syndrome by the following signs:

1. The daughter prefers the father. As a rule, babies are physically dependent on their mother, who cares for them, and therefore are very attached to her. However, a child with a complex spends most of his time with his father.
2. The daughter constantly criticizes her mother. This expresses a sign of rivalry. Little girls who have an Electra complex see their mother as a competitor. That is why they often criticize her, showing aggression.
3. After a long absence of her parents, the daughter is more happy about the appearance of her father rather than her mother.
4. The girl is characterized by proactive and very active behavior. At the same time, she wants to learn a lot from her father. For example, she asks him to take her fishing with him, go for a walk, etc.
5. Signs of dissatisfaction. A baby with an Electra complex may become indignant when she sees mom and dad kissing, hugging, or holding hands.

Exercises

A technique that helps you say goodbye to your father:

1. Find a comfortable position and relax.
2. Imagine dad.
3. Thank him for all the good things, try to remember real, specific situations.
4. Give yourself permission to live freely and say goodbye to your father.

Technique for reconciliation with mother:

1. Remember the conflict situation between mother and father, in which you see the mother as to blame. Try to find a positive explanation for her behavior.
2. Make a list of the things you and your mother have in common. Every person has something of both parents.
3. Learn to communicate with your mother in real life from the “Adult – Adult” position.
4. Mentally or in real communication, thank your mother and forgive her.

Creating an Ideal

What can trigger the Electra complex? The classic option in this case is the divorce of the parents. As a rule, after this the child remains with the mother. The father leaves them and creates a new family.

It's not easy for a single woman. In an incomplete family, as a rule, financial difficulties arise. This fact is the cause of the mother’s unstable emotional state. She often takes her irritation out on her daughter. This position leads to a deterioration in the relationship between the girl and mother. The daughter becomes distant and aggressive. At the same time, the child idealizes his father. After all, the girl sometimes meets with him, receiving attention and gifts. Such dates firmly cement in the mind a new model of relationships, in which the child begins to believe that mom is bad and dad is good.

Electra complex in girls

According to Freud's theory, a mother serves as her daughter's first sexual image. As girls approach three years of age, they begin to realize that they do not have a penis. Such a discovery completely changes the psychological characteristics of the baby. She begins to envy men who have such “dignity”. Over the years, such envy, as well as the desire to somehow compensate for the absence of this organ, is the reason for the generation of love for the father, as well as the desire to become pregnant from him, to give birth to a son. Such attraction leads to hostility towards the mother.

The peak in the development of the Electra complex is 4-5 years of age. Then this phenomenon begins to fade away and disappears completely for a while. Nevertheless, during the period of formation of secondary sexual characteristics, attachment to one’s father grows. The attraction to him appears and becomes active again.

Duration

The crisis does not begin exactly when the child turns seven. Its onset cannot be attributed to the first day of school. In reality, everything is much more complicated.

Preparation for school begins early, and by the end of kindergarten, classes become more difficult and teachers become more demanding. The child feels changes and increasing pressure, so the first mental preconditions may arise at the age of five or six years. However, there is another category of children who begin to realize the severity of the new burden after school begins.

Everyone comes to a state of crisis when the psyche gives an adequate response to the difficulties that have arisen. Symptoms develop slowly, and the child copes with the new responsibility also gradually. Psychologists say that this age crisis lasts about 6-9 months. But the duration of the transitional stage in growing up depends on the individual characteristics of the baby.

Electra complex in girls

After an adult girl reaches her sexual maturity and has her first sexual experience, she will finally form images of the relationship that takes place between a woman and a man. But it often happens that girls with an Electra complex present everything in a distorted form. They usually see themselves in the role of protector and provider. In other words, they try on male roles. Often their behavior is similar to that typical of guys.

Such girls are strong and independent. They are distinguished by a high level of emancipation. In all respects relating to family life or work responsibilities, Electras prefer to achieve equality. Such girls, as a rule, are the initiators in the development of personal relationships with men. They also have an Electra complex when choosing a profession. After finishing school, these girls prefer to work where there is danger and risk.

“Electras” tend to communicate mainly with men. They have few girlfriends, but there are countless friends among the boys. Girls who are attached to their father get married late. As a rule, they walk down the aisle at the age of 30 or older. Most often they choose mature men as life partners. And this applies not only to age, but also to the social status of the chosen one.

Content

• Essence and features
• Causes
• Symptoms of crisis in a 7 year old child
• Duration
• How to cope: advice to parents from psychologists
• Consequences

Each leap in physical and psychological growth in children is accompanied by a special transition period - a crisis.
At seven years old, the child reaches the next stage of development. A preschooler becomes a schoolchild, and his social status changes. New responsibilities appear, adults begin to make other demands, and the daily routine becomes different. The psyche experiences a shock, which is accompanied by worries, a change in habitual behavior, and difficulties with communication. Therefore, in developmental psychology, children have a crisis of 7 years. When games change to active learning, the social circle changes and a different social role is formed, the child becomes disobedient, stubborn, and irritable. Signs of a mental crisis can appear between the ages of five and eight years. To help correctly overcome this difficult stage and take a new social position, parents must recognize the crisis in time and respond to it correctly.

Manifestation of the complex in women

In adulthood, Electra girls choose a person similar to their father as a life partner. Most often, they pay attention to uncontrollable and independent men, because a woman is trying to find a real protector for herself, who would solve all her problems and accept her like a little girl, embracing her in his arms.

Often, adult Electras, as a result of their searches, find men who are older than them and are already connected by family ties. And this has its own explanation. After all, their father was also older and had a wife. If Electra comes across this option, she will begin her hunt. Having won the man from his wife, she will be happy with the victory. However, over time, serious interpersonal problems will begin to arise with her chosen one.

The danger of such a phenomenon

“Electra”, due to an unresolved and constantly reinforced syndrome, develops dependent behavior over time. The girl will sooner or later have to part with her parents' nest. However, due to her attachment to her dad, the daughter may become depressed. In adulthood, women are in search of a father figure, which sometimes lasts a lifetime and ends in failure.

The danger of the Electra complex is that girls begin to copy their father’s habits. They smoke or drink alcohol. In addition, a person with such a complex is capable of inheriting the typical traits of representatives of the stronger half of humanity.

Rules for getting out of the victim role

According to the components of the victim role, the following rules for exiting it can be distinguished:

1. Express all emotions, including negative ones, but do it in a socially acceptable way.
2. State your needs, desires, interests, opinions.
3. Accept and love yourself.
4. Set personal boundaries and learn to protect them (without violence and aggression).
5. Never tolerate anything.
6. Get rid of phobias, learn to live alone with yourself.
7. Gain physical, psychological, material, social independence.

Elimination of the syndrome

How to deal with the Electra complex? Parents who realize what is happening to their daughter should talk to her. Close people are obliged to help their child distribute family roles and understand their own feelings.

How can a girl outgrow her Electra complex? If parents talk to their child gently, lovingly and supportively, the problem will be resolved successfully.

Experts note that the Electra complex is a condition on the border between pathology and normality. That is why adults will need the help of a psychotherapist to get rid of this syndrome.

Nevertheless, there are recommendations that temporarily alleviate the state of mind of “Electr”. They consist of the following:

1. In accepting your attraction. The girl is advised not to hide this condition from herself.
2. In the understanding that, based on the culture and historical traditions of human society, a daughter cannot be her father’s mistress. Incest is taboo.
3. In accepting the father as an ordinary person. Of course, he was once powerful and all-knowing. Today, dad is one of the beloved family members with his own life experience.
4. In reaching a new level of relationship with the mother. It is important for a daughter to understand that she has more in common with her mother than with her father.

Parents who discover signs of developing the Electra complex in their daughter should begin to rid her of this syndrome already in childhood. It is important that the child receives enough attention from both the father and the mother. The Electra complex cannot be considered a death sentence. Unconscious attraction to the father is not considered a mental disorder. In this regard, such a child does not need to be taken to a psychiatrist. He will not need a course of medication either. The main task of parents is to identify the complex at an early stage of its development, create the necessary conditions for its elimination and, if necessary, use the help of a psychoanalyst.

Consequences

If parents help overcome the crisis period, the child will successfully overcome an important turning point, form new correct mental reactions, and acquire social skills and roles. This will help him:

• to form a responsible attitude towards learning, a correct understanding and perception of the educational process;
• gain new emotional skills;
• realize your place in society, take the desired role among classmates;
• find new hobbies and interests.

If parents suppress manifestations of social development and complicate the situation with improper behavior, conflicts or problems within the family, this can cause serious damage to the child’s psyche. The child can:

• lose interest in studying;
• take any criticism too seriously;
• lower self-esteem;
• develop complexes in yourself;
• show aggression, cruelty;
• withdraw into oneself, fail to adapt to the school team;
• lose trust in parents, lose close connection with them.

It is important to remember that a crisis is a pattern that opens up new prospects for growth and development. The main task of adults is to help the child cope with a difficult situation, to show sensitivity, patience and attention. Only in this way will a newly graduated student be able to overcome all difficulties and make an important leap in mental growth.