Internal conflict: causes and methods of resolution

Internal conflict arises at the moment when a person cannot find agreement between feelings and the arguments of reason. It is a condition that has symptoms and consequences. Internal conflicts have a destructive effect on the psyche. Let's analyze the issue in detail and learn to recognize and eliminate internal conflicts.

What is internal conflict?

Internal conflict in psychology is a complex, multifaceted phenomenon. Psychologists call it cognitive dissonance. This is a depressed state of an individual caused by a clash of opposing beliefs, thoughts, and desires. This happens when an honest citizen decides to steal. People call it pangs of conscience. In essence, this is an internal conflict. This is what happens when a priest who has taken a vow of celibacy falls in love.

When a person who holds certain beliefs violates his own rules, he develops a feeling of internal contradiction. Psychological discomfort can cause deep suffering. It is not always possible to get rid of them on your own.

Reasons for the inconsistency of the human psyche

The internal causes of contradictions in the human psyche are:

The clash of personal needs and social norms.
Discrepancy between social role and status.
Discrepancies between the norms and values of society.
Contradiction between need and motive of interest.

All causes of intrapersonal conflict are due to the fact that a person cannot satisfy his fundamental needs and life motives. And if they mean a lot to the individual or there is a deep meaning invested in them, then this only aggravates the problem.

External reasons that are associated with a person’s position in his social group include:

A physical obstacle that makes it impossible to meet your needs.
Physiological resources that do not allow satisfying the need.
There is no object to satisfy the needs.
Social conditions that make satisfying needs impossible.

In addition to the causes of intrapersonal conflict associated with social status, there are also causes associated with social organization. The following points can be highlighted:

Inconsistency between working conditions and the requirements for the result.
Distinction between rights and responsibilities.
Organizational values do not match the employee's personal values.
The social role does not correspond to the status in society.
There is no opportunity to create and self-realize.
The tasks and requirements are put forward in such a way that they exclude each other.

In modern realities, the cause of conflict is often the fact that moral standards come into dissonance with the desire to make a profit. But more often than not, this only happens when a person begins to save his first money and look for a place in life.

This is because in market relations a person is forced to compete with other people, which means that sooner or later hostility towards society will turn into hostility towards oneself. This is how intrapersonal conflict begins. In our society, absolutely opposite things are required from a participant in market relations. He must be aggressive to win his place, but at the same time cultivate altruism and other virtues. It is precisely such mutually exclusive demands that provide fertile ground for internal conflict.

How does personality conflict manifest itself?

When internal contradictions worsen, the quality of life decreases.

Symptoms of intrapersonal conflict:

apathy;
isolation;
depression;
decreased self-esteem;
irritability;
anxiety;
inability to concentrate;
loss of interest in life;

Depending on the severity and type of problem, symptoms may vary. In some cases, the patient tries to distract himself with activities: cleaning the house, arranging books in alphabetical order, actively working at work. In others, there is a loss of strength and apathy. This is the most common reaction to cognitive dissonance. When an individual cannot make a choice, understand, forgive himself, he is haunted by obsessive thoughts. Anxiety appears. People in this state become distracted and have trouble concentrating. Their thoughts are busy: the mind is constantly looking for a way out, stumbles upon irreconcilable differences between feelings and reason, and goes in circles.

Why does intrapersonal conflict occur?

The causes of this and other psychological problems always go back to childhood.

Our parents instill in us attitudes that turn out to be unsuitable for life in adulthood. But the program is established in us, to go against it means to stumble upon contradictions within ourselves.

Religious beliefs are often the cause of controversy. An example is a believer who has sinned and repents. Religion is very strict: fasting, abstinence from sinful acts and thoughts. The believer understands that he should not sin, but temptation takes over. We are all human, we all have our own weaknesses.

One’s own beliefs, attitudes, and frameworks also create an internal conflict for the individual. It can drag on for years, causing constant discomfort up to nervous exhaustion. For example, a woman who has gained weight after giving birth. She wants to return to her previous forms, to be beautiful. But she cannot overcome herself and believes that her husband is obliged to love her like this. Constant stress forces you to break your diet, and this causes depression.

Or another example: a son who lives with his parents. He becomes an adult and begins to live his own life. Strict upbringing in the family taught him to obey his parents. And so, a thirty-year-old man comes home strictly at nine in the evening, cannot afford to buy a leather jacket instead of a down jacket, and does not even think about bringing girls home, because his mother does not like them all.

Forms of manifestation ↑

Conflicts within a person can manifest themselves as:

neurasthenia (expressed in depression, decreased performance, migraines, insomnia, etc.);
euphoria (cheerful mood “for show”, tears interspersed with laughter, unjustified joy);
regression (avoidance of responsibility, manifestation of primitivism in behavior);
projection (the predominance of negativism in relationships with people, assessments of their qualities, excessive criticism);
nomadism (the desire for changes in different areas of life - profession, family, place of residence, etc.);
rationalism (“whitewashing” one’s actions, self-justification).

What creates internal conflict?

If you understand the underlying processes, intrapersonal conflict arises due to the inability to achieve what you want. But the obstacle on the way is not external circumstances, but internal ones.

The psyche sees two ways out of the situation and neither of them is suitable. We cannot simply want too much, because such contradictions arise only on the basis of necessary and passionately desired actions. You can't just stop loving a guy, even if you know he's not right for you. It is also impossible to overcome the barrier in the form of your own taboo. If you could overcome yourself, it would not be called an internal conflict. It occurs when the opposing forces inside are equal. While this battle lasts, it is impossible to feel comfortable.

Logotherapy

Another very popular theory of intrapersonal conflict today was developed by the Austrian psychologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl, who created a new direction in psychotherapy - logotherapy - the search for the meaning of human existence. According to Frankl's concept, the main driving force in the life of every person is his search for the meaning of life and the struggle for it. But only a few manage to realize the meaning of life. Its absence gives rise to a state in a person, which he calls an existential vacuum, or a feeling of aimlessness and emptiness.

Boredom is evidence of a lack of meaning in life, meaning-forming values, and this is already serious. Because finding the meaning of life is much more difficult and more important than wealth. In addition, need pushes a person to action and helps get rid of neuroses, while boredom associated with an existential vacuum, on the contrary, dooms him to inactivity and thereby contributes to the development of a psychological disorder.

Why is intrapersonal conflict dangerous?

A long-term internal conflict of personality is dangerous and destructive. If the problem is not resolved, the consequences will be disastrous:

severe depression with suicidal tendencies;
neurosis;
aggressiveness;
personality degradation;
disorganization, lack of connection between the mental and physical aspects;
lack of interest in favorite activities;
development of an inferiority complex, complete or partial loss of positive self-esteem.

People who have been unable to resolve internal conflicts for years become aggressive or, conversely, pliable and weak-willed, refusing to make decisions and choices. Such individuals tend to look for someone to blame for everything, even in small things. They love to blame others. Prolonged intrapersonal experiences lead to frustration. This is a psychological state that is provoked by insurmountable contradictions.

If you find yourself with a problem, don't be alarmed. The first and most important step is recognizing its presence. All that remains is to study ways to combat the disease.

Many internal conflicts occur in a hidden form and people live with them for years without realizing it. Unfortunately, in our country psychological problems are considered more of a simulation than a disease. And it is not customary to go to psychologists until it reaches serious consequences, where a psychiatrist will have to sort it out. If it is not possible to visit a specialist, try to resolve the conflict yourself. If that doesn’t work, call the helpline or make an appointment with a psychotherapist.

Psychologists note that in addition to negative aspects, internal conflict can have positive ones. These include mobilization of forces, experience in resolving one’s own crises, overcoming and accepting the situation. When a person himself deals with his “demons,” he gains experience and gets to know himself. But the positive sides can be seen if the situation is resolved quickly and without consequences for the psyche and nervous system.

Properties of intrapersonal conflict

When contradictions are constantly operating within, an individual cannot find balance or harmony. The mind constantly argues in favor of one or the other, but it cannot completely overcome the contradictions. He experiences discomfort that he may not even notice. The main sign of internal conflict is a violation of internal harmony. The consequences resemble a collapsing house of cards. Following constant discomfort and the inability to resolve contradictions, comes aggressiveness or apathy (depending on the innate temperament, the fight or flight reaction). It begins to corrode from the inside. A person may be aware of the problem itself. But what processes it triggers in the psyche is difficult to understand on your own.

The overall nature of the problem is destructive. First for the psyche, and then for the body. Against the background of nervous diseases, real serious physiological abnormalities appear. For example, nervousness and aggressiveness, first of all, hit the stomach. Gastritis or ulcer occurs. Some women are prone to endometriosis and other similar ailments. All diseases really come from nerves. Except for those that are viral in nature or inherited.

Forms of manifestation

Internal conflict can manifest itself in the following forms:

neurasthenia: depression, deterioration in performance, headaches, sleep problems, and so on,
euphoria: indicative cheerful mood, tears replacing laughter, joy for no reason,
regression: primitivism in behavior, avoidance of responsibility,
projection: negativism towards others, their constant criticism and assessments,
nomadism: desire for change in various areas of life,
rationalism: attempts to justify, “whitewash” one’s actions.

How internal conflict leads to illness:

Types of intrapersonal conflicts

Let's look at different types of internal conflicts. They differ in the type of contradictions that arise. But the general features are similar in all cases. And the complexity depends only on the depth of a person’s beliefs.

Moral conflict

A common type: a contradiction is caused by an individual’s moral beliefs and the desire to act contrary to them. There are plenty of examples: a man understands that he needs to give up his seat to a senior person on the bus, but he is so tired after his shift that he does not dare to get up. All the way he is tormented by an internal conflict: morality says that he is doing wrong, selfishly, and the fatigue in his body simply does not allow him to do otherwise.

Sexual conflict

Occurs in people who are bashful and shy. A man would like to add variety to his sex life, but he does not dare to say so because he is afraid of being branded a pervert. The craving for BDSM, dominance and other sexual variations makes itself felt in men and women. But people are embarrassed to tell their significant other about this. On this basis, a conflict arises. I want emotions, other sensations, but the fear of being judged or losing a loved one prevails.

The consequences of such complexes: searching for what you want on the side and the subsequent breakdown of the relationship. After all, the secret always becomes clear.

Religious conflict

People brought up according to the Bible or the Koran have certain attitudes. But not everyone manages to follow them in life. Faith is a powerful tool. She helps you live, explains what you need to do. But in life it is impossible to follow all the commandments. People who have formed deep religious beliefs, when faced with temptation, experience deep internal conflict.

For example, a believing teenager falls in love. Hormones released into the blood when falling in love push him to engage in romantic acts and affection. At the same time, he understands that his actions are sinful and contrary to everything he was taught.

Political conflict

Political conflicts arise among people who have to defend their interests and fight for territory. They can be international and affect domestic or foreign policy. People are sometimes forced to risk their lives to defend their interests.

Love conflict

The struggle between mind and feelings is typical for people who are in love or involved in a relationship. The habit of being together does not allow you to break off the relationship. The abandoned party may realize that they are going nowhere and ending them was the right decision. But feelings will push a person to do various stupid things: get drunk, scream under the window about his love, pursue the new passion of his ex, call at night.

The breakup itself is often accompanied by internal conflict. Deciding to leave is not easy. After all, in addition to the arguments of reason, there are also feelings and habit.

Self-esteem conflict

People with different body types may experience dissatisfaction with their own appearance. A person tries to change himself, but this is not easy to do and not everyone succeeds. A person cannot come to terms with the fact that he looks imperfect, and this gives rise to conflict. This happens after injuries and accidents that affect one’s appearance, after gaining weight or having a bad haircut.

Interpersonal conflict

Happens to a specific person or group of people. This is often faced by teenagers who are disliked in the class - informal students, poor students. Those who are different from others are black sheep. They have to fight social stigma. And this affects not only external relations, but also the inner world. The individual begins to doubt himself, to feel like an outcast, a loner. After all, people always focus on each other. And society, and especially teenagers, can be cruel.

Existential conflict

The most complex and difficult for humans. Often occurs among maximalists. This category includes the inability to understand one's purpose. When a person lives, works, communicates, but constantly questions the relevance of his existence - this is called an existential conflict of personality. This also includes the loss of meaning in life or the inability to express oneself.

People often experience this during adolescence. The existential conflict is also clearly manifested during the crisis of 30 years, the midlife crisis. People are re-evaluating their lives. This is often accompanied by depression, apathy or, on the contrary, a sharp change in job, image, divorce or an affair.

Ways to resolve intrapersonal conflict

Psychological work to eliminate intrapersonal contradiction is a painstaking process that requires thoughtfulness and diligence. It takes place in 5 stages:

The first is awareness of the problem.
The second is identifying the causes, in-depth analysis. Problems are broken down into individual parts. The process is similar to unraveling a knot. It needs to be loosened up to understand where all these threads come from.
Next, work on each aspect in turn. A person must understand which part of the internal conflict still needs to win. This is not easy to do on your own. If it doesn’t work, call the helpline or make an appointment with a psychotherapist. The problem is that the opinions of others can completely confuse everything. Each person has his own beliefs. And it’s not a fact that they are correct
If we are talking about anxiety, its causes are analyzed. Pull the thread and understand what you are afraid of. Does everyone in your situation feel this way? Is there really a risk? Do fears help you? They must be eliminated completely. Because fear's eyes are really big.
Work on beliefs. Example: remorse is a useless oppressive feeling. It is necessary to get rid of it. Remember, all people make mistakes.

So, one by one, the individual must put each of his beliefs on the scale and understand that the world is not divided into black and white. Situations are different, but all these are just situations, they will disappear in a year. And your nervous system will remain with you. Take care of her.