Ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts

Concept of conflict

Conflict is a clash of different interests; a natural process that should not be feared. With the right attitude, conflicts can teach us how to interact optimally with the world, get to know ourselves and people better, and reveal a diversity of points of view. Resolving interpersonal conflict brings relationships to a higher quality level, expands the capabilities of the group as a whole, and unites it.

Interpersonal conflict is a clash of personalities with different goals, characters, views, etc.

A prerequisite for the emergence of a conflict is a conflict situation . It appears when the interests of the parties do not coincide, the pursuit of opposing goals, the use of different means to achieve them, etc. A conflict situation is a condition of conflict. For a situation to turn into a conflict, a push is needed.

Characteristics of the most common methods of resolving interpersonal conflicts

Definition 1
Methods for resolving interpersonal conflicts are a set of techniques and actions developed in conflictology that are to be applied in practice in order to most quickly and effectively relieve social tension and resolve interpersonal conflicts.

Among the most common methods of resolving social conflicts described in the literature and actively used by individuals in the process of participating in interpersonal conflicts (including on an intuitive level), the following can be named:

The tactic of “smoothing out rough edges” is a model of behavior in conflict that is not sufficiently effective, in which the cause of interpersonal conflict is not actually eliminated or resolved, but mechanisms are used to eliminate only the key manifestations of conflict interaction. As a result, there is only an imaginary way out of the current situation, and the emotional tension between its participants can in the future develop into a new, much more intense interpersonal conflict;
A method of finding a compromise solution by partially accepting the conditions put forward by the opponent in an interpersonal conflict. This method of conflict resolution is quite effective, but may be accompanied by the persistence of a certain tension due to the fact that each of the parties to the conflict is forced to make certain concessions, and, accordingly, does not receive in full what it claimed when entering into the conflict;
Acceptance of all the opponent’s comments and mutual claims by the parties to an interpersonal conflict is the most optimal way to resolve interpersonal conflicts, but is rarely encountered in practice, since due to individual characteristics people are rarely able to fully understand the interests and motivations of the other party;
A tactic of suppression that is more characteristic of vertical interpersonal conflicts, within which there are relations of power and subordination between its participants. For example, in work teams, when a subordinate employee, despite existing disagreements, is forced to fully accept the opponent’s point of view

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Conflict Prevention Methods

To prevent the development of conflicts, you need to be able to regulate the situation that precedes their occurrence. To do this, you need to change your attitude towards the problem, yours or your opponent’s. Also change the circumstances, deprive the conflict of the soil on which it can develop. All this is achieved through cooperation with a possible enemy. In neutral relationships, contradictions arise more often.

How to overcome fear and phobias yourself - ways to fight

Rivalry often arises in enterprises when responsibilities are incorrectly distributed by the manager. A common goal brings people together and eliminates differences.

Important! You need to understand your opponent’s position, not show negativity or aggression towards him, evaluate the difficulties he faces, and support him. It is important to use “psychological stroking”, in which the opponent is imbued with a feeling of sympathy and tension is relieved.

There is no need to harbor a grudge and wrap negative emotions around it. It is better to discuss the situation that has arisen; perhaps there is a misunderstanding, and the problem exists only in the head. Open discussion, without showing dissatisfaction, leads to the elimination of tension and serves as a way to prevent conflict.

You cannot enter into dialogue based on emotions. In this case, they will speak, you need to give yourself time to cool down, then explain your point of view with a clear head. There is no need to insult people or humiliate them. An unmotivated insult incites hatred and leads to quarrels and conflicts in the team.

The school should begin to familiarize students with the concept of conflict, methods of prevention and prevention. This usually happens at the end of high school during homeroom. There is a program designed for teenage students that is easy to understand.

Strategic and tactical ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts

In the specialized literature, along with the above methods of resolving interpersonal conflicts, it is proposed to differentiate them depending on the content and focus on strategic and tactical.

Thus, strategic methods are to a greater extent subject to application in the process of resolving interpersonal conflicts that arise in large organizations within the workforce, as well as in resolving clearly destructive forms of conflict interaction. Examples of methods within this group are: drawing up a plan (forecast) for the development of social relations within which there is social tension, informing its participants about the goals and current state of affairs, for example, within an enterprise, using methods of relieving tension by stimulating and encouraging individuals, forming clear instructions and directions, the implementation of which will allow effective interaction without conflicting interests of different parties, etc.

Finished works on a similar topic

Course work Methods of resolving interpersonal conflicts 440 ₽ Abstract Methods of resolving interpersonal conflicts 240 ₽ Examination Methods of resolving interpersonal conflicts 210 ₽

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In turn, tactical methods of countering social conflicts include tactics of competition and adaptation, each of which is capable of relieving social tension in its own way, as well as methods of evasion, compromise and cooperation, which are essentially similar to those methods of resolving interpersonal conflicts mentioned above. .

Conflict resolution in practice

When conflict cannot be avoided, it must be skillfully resolved. Usually disagreements lead to an argument that occurs in a raised voice. You cannot be exposed to the emotions that overwhelm another person. You need to choose the right tactics and let unpleasant information pass by.

Ignoring negativity

Additional Information. You can imagine a suitcase next to you, into which you mentally send all negative phrases. After the statements come to an end, simply get rid of them, throw them away along with your suitcase. During a conflict, one should not be exposed to emotional contagion.

You can imagine a funny character instead of a screaming opponent. Then, when getting personal and insulting, they will not achieve their goal. This method will help switch emotions to positive ones, as a result there will be no need to reproduce them. When the opponent notices calm, he will change his behavior. The main thing is to support him. Do not raise your voice, do not interrupt and listen to the end. After emotions have faded into the background, you can begin a constructive dialogue. You need to listen to your interlocutor carefully in order to understand the essence of the conflict. Initially, its cause may be hidden. For example, a person accuses another of insolvency, doubts his professionalism and does not explain that he actually suffered financial losses due to the other’s failure to fulfill what he promised on time. Such conflicts make up the bulk of the disagreements that arise in enterprises.

A way out of the conflict must be sought through joint efforts, relying on the opinions of both sides; only then can one get out of the situation with the least losses and gain benefits. To make your opponent relax and listen to another opinion, you can resort to compliments, step aside a little from the problem at hand, taking into account the characteristics of the interlocutor’s character. To understand how to resolve a conflict, you need to understand the goal of each opponent, what exactly all parties want to achieve.

Alternative approaches to classifying types of interpersonal conflict resolution

In addition to the approaches outlined above, the literature devoted to the study of conflictology problems and the specifics of interpersonal conflicts describes the following methods for resolving them, differentiated depending on the content and direction of the parties’ behavior:

Avoidance of conflict by one of the parties is a strategy that cannot be fully recognized as a way to resolve interpersonal conflict, since in this case there is not an attempt to eliminate it, but only postponing the conflict. However, this technique is actively described in the literature and used in practice, since it has a number of positive features - leaving allows you to get additional time to analyze the situation, develop arguments in favor of your position and predict the behavior of your opponent, which ultimately can contribute to more effective resolving the conflict in the future;
Confrontation is a way of behavior in conditions of irreconcilable contradictions of the parties, in which each of them unconditionally insists on its own, not wanting to allow any kind of concessions. As a result, most often, the conflict reaches a dead end and its resolution becomes possible only with the involvement of a third independent party - a mediator;
Cooperation is the most difficult way to resolve interpersonal conflicts, since to use it, each party must be ready and capable of a balanced discussion of the opponent’s positions, choosing alternative options for the future development of the current situation in which each party would benefit to the greatest extent;
Resolving a conflict by forcing the weaker party to the conflict to accept the point of view of its opponent by suppressing or ignoring the opinion of the weaker party. Despite the imperfection of the indicated method from the point of view of the theory of social conflict and the need to relieve interpersonal tension, in a number of cases it can be justified. For example, in a situation of lack of time to develop an alternative solution, including in emergency situations, or in conditions of relations of power and subordination.

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Coursework, abstracts or other works

Joint search for a way out

It does not always turn out that both sides emerge from the conflict in the same position. Situations vary, and compromise or cooperation that benefits both parties may not always be possible. Finding ways to resolve conflicts that will lead to a result that suits all parties is the main task when disagreements arise. To do this, you need to familiarize yourself with both positions and analyze them together.

Conveying information to your opponent

By defining a common goal, it becomes clear how to resolve the conflict so that everyone is happy. This is especially true in a professional environment, when employees of an organization begin to act together. This style of resolving contradictions is the most optimal. If it is impossible to provide benefits to everyone, they look for another way out.

The following possible outcomes are possible:

Provide a win for another, in which he will receive the maximum benefit;
Create the most favorable conditions for yourself, while you can either minimize the result for your opponent or leave him with nothing. In this case, they talk about aggression;
Agree to the point at which both parties will receive equally low satisfaction, but their positions will be equal to each other.

Aggression and individualism manifested by one of the parties to the conflict usually lead to negative results for the other party. In this case, it is difficult to agree, communication is unconstructive, mutual concessions and compromise do not work. Therefore, most often you have to retreat so as not to suffer maximum losses.

Causes of conflict situations

The most common prerequisites for the development of conflict:

The root cause of discord may be banal dissatisfaction with something or someone. The situation worsens when hostility is cumulative. A person rams displeasure into himself, then breaks down and splashes out all the negativity. Usually in such a situation, emotions take precedence over reason.
Self-doubt is another reason for the psychology of conflict. This is the seed of internal disagreement that does not allow a person to prove himself as a self-sufficient person. Sometimes this condition leads to depression.
Another reason for the emergence of irreconcilable differences is the infringement of other people’s interests, which aggravate the situation by public clashes. Such disputes are common in society, especially in small groups.

How to take classes?

As has already been noted more than once, the materials of our conflict management training are maximally adapted for practical use, and for use by absolutely any person. But in no case should we forget that the decisive factor here is not the study of the material, but its practical use. Reading, studying, knowing a lot of useful and interesting things is, of course, good. But if knowledge that can be applied in life is not applied, its price will be low, because they will not bring you any benefit. Keep this in mind.

You can study each of the lessons step by step. As an example, here is a simple algorithm (but you can develop your own):

Day one - studying the material
Day two - re-studying the material to consolidate
Day three – applying the acquired knowledge in practice
Day four – summing up the application of the material from the lesson learned
Days five, six and seven – rest

Thus, it will take you a little more than a month to study this training. If this period seems too long for you, make your own schedule and study/practice, for example, not one lesson a week, but two. Find the option that is most comfortable for you.

I would also like to say that you need to not just apply a skill once, even successfully, but gradually and purposefully hone it in order to introduce it into the arsenal of actions that are familiar to you. Try to form a healthy habit (according to some studies, this takes 21 days).

During the learning process, use all kinds of auxiliary materials - a notebook, diary, organizer, computer or gadget. For example, set a beep in your smartphone's task scheduler at your scheduled study time to remind you that it's time to start studying. Or make a short note in a notebook every time you behaved effectively or ineffectively in a conflict situation. You can come up with anything - the main thing is that it is for your benefit.

What else do you need to know about conflicts?

The history of humanity, its morality, culture, and intellect is an ongoing struggle of ideas, aspirations, competition of forces and interests, rivalry. Throughout his life, every person systematically faces conflicts of all kinds. When a person wants to achieve something, the goal may be difficult to achieve. When he experiences failure, he may blame the people around him for the fact that it was because of them that he could not get what he wanted.

Those around him, in turn, no matter whether they are relatives, classmates, friends or work colleagues, may believe that he himself is to blame for his problems and failures. The form can be completely different, but almost always it can lead to misunderstanding, which can develop into discontent and even confrontation, thereby creating tension and causing a conflict situation

Every person has life contradictions. It is common for people to be dissatisfied with something, to perceive something with hostility, and not to agree with everything. And all this is natural, because such is human nature. However, these and other similar internal properties can become harmful if a person is not able to resolve his own conflicts with the people around him; if he is unable to give it a constructive form; if he cannot adhere to adequate principles in his contradictions.

It is quite reasonable to conclude that conflicts are inevitable. But, in reality, everything is somewhat different. And not all conflict situations that arise from time to time between people end in conflict.

You should not treat conflict as something dangerous and negative if it is a stimulus for personal development, pushes a person to work on himself, strengthens him morally and psychologically, and promotes unity with other people. But you should try to avoid those conflicts that have destructive potential, destroy relationships, create a state of psychological discomfort, and increase a person’s isolation

It is precisely the poem that is very important to be able to recognize any preconditions for conflicts and to be able to prevent the occurrence of unwanted conflict situations

Being able to recognize and prevent conflicts means mastering the culture of communication, being able to control oneself, showing respect for the personality of other people, and using various methods of influencing them. Nothing can contribute as strongly to the elimination of various kinds of misunderstandings as competent, civilized communication, which includes knowledge of basic etiquette skills and the ability to master them, as well as the ability to establish and maintain effective contact, develop your own style of communication and interaction with others people.

If you find yourself in a difficult, contradictory situation, the most important thing is to control your behavior and behave socially competently. If a conflict situation is based on experiences and emotions, then the unpleasant sensations from it can remain for a very, very long time. For this reason, you need to learn to manage your emotional states, control your behavior and reactions. You should always be tuned to the stability and balance of your nervous system.

EXERCISE: One of the most effective methods of working with your psyche is to set yourself in a state of calm. It’s not at all difficult to implement: sit in a comfortable chair, relax, close your eyes and try not to think about anything for a while. Then clearly and slowly say to yourself a few phrases that will set you up for self-control, endurance, and a state of calm. Strive to feel a sense of balance take over you, you become more cheerful, feel a surge of strength and good mood; you feel great physically, mentally and psychologically. Regularly performing this exercise will allow you to become more resistant to emotional stress of any intensity.

Let us remind you that the presented lesson is more theoretical than practical, because Our task was to introduce you to what a conflict is in general and to present a classification of conflicts. From the following lessons of our training on conflict management, you can learn not only a lot of theoretical information, but also learn a lot of practical tips that you can immediately put into practice.

Strategies for dealing with conflict

There have been, are and will be conflicts in interpersonal relationships. But there are also ways to resolve them. First, you should realize that there is a conflict. And then choose a way to solve this problem.

Behavior strategy is the orientation of an individual or group of people in relation to a person, the choice of a certain tactic of behavior in the current conditions.

K. Thomas and R. Kilmann typified five main styles of behavior in a conflict situation, basing the classification on the degree of goal achievement and the degree of consideration of the interests of the enemy:

1) Avoidance/Evasion - the desire not to participate in a decision and to defend one’s own interests, the desire to get out of a conflict environment.

2) Adaptation - an attempt to soften the situation and maintain relationships without resisting pressure from the other side (especially common between subordinates and the leader).

3) Rivalry/competition – achieving one’s desires to the detriment of another.

4) Compromise - finding a middle ground through mutual concessions.

5) Cooperation involves a joint search for a solution that meets the interests of all parties.

Some psychologists separately distinguish: suppression and negotiation, but this addition is not widespread.

Controversies and incident

An integral condition for the emergence of any conflict is a conflict situation, that is, different positions of two (or more) parties on any issue. What are the signals of conflict in interpersonal relationships? Relationships between people are always complex: there is a desire for opposing goals, and the use of different means to achieve them, and conflicting desires or incompatible interests. But these contradictions do not always lead to an explosion in communication.

In order for conflict situations to develop into conflict, the impact of external phenomena is necessary: a push or an incident.

“As soon as you learn to look at a conflict situation in a mirror - without plunging into it head over heels, but contemplating it from the outside - then believe me, it will certainly be resolved with minimal losses for you! You just need to put yourself in the place of another person and imagine: what would you do or want to do in this case?” — Vladimir Chepovoy, author of the book “Crossroads”.

An incident, or, as it is also called, a pretext, means certain actions of one of the parties that affect, even accidentally, the interests of the other party. The reason may also be the activity of a third party who was not previously involved in the situation. For example, caustic remarks from a friend when you have just been fired.

The formation of an incident can be influenced by both objective reasons (independent of people) and the usual “I didn’t think” (when the psychological characteristics of another person are not taken into account).