From this article you will learn what positivity is and how it benefits us. Most importantly, you will learn 21 strategies to become more positive. You don't have to use exactly all the strategies to increase your positivity rate. You'll choose the ones that give you the biggest boost in efficiency. You will also learn how to respond to negative people around you and stay positive during difficult times in your life.
To get the most out of the information below, take notes so you remember all the strategies listed. Then choose one or two and use them for two weeks. You must continually practice the methods you choose to see how they help you feel happy and positive. If it works, continue using it in the future until it becomes a habit.
Try to return to this material periodically over a six-month period, choosing a new strategy to apply. Some will work better for you than others, and that's okay. Just keep experimenting until you find the best combination that truly improves your sense of well-being and positivity.
What it really means to be a positive person
Our brain makes us constantly think about some scary things and expect them to come. Even when we want to see something good, we still fall back into the habitual pattern of “preparing for a storm” that never comes. We are skeptical about being “positive” because we prefer to be realistic, informed and somewhat cynical.
But how realistic is all this? And how informed are we? Look back at your life. How many times have your fears reflected reality or predicted the future? How many insurmountable problems turned out to be minor and quickly forgotten troubles? How many times have you waited for the truly worst outcome?
Positive people, in fact, do not force themselves into this positivity by ignoring problems or suppressing their feelings and sensations. They simply are not guided by the idea that something terrible looms ahead and that it could happen at any moment.
Being positive does not mean that you are not aware of the risks and possible adverse outcomes. You just don't think that the most likely outcome will be a bad one. You are confident from the very beginning that everything will be okay - and this is the most productive and realistic way to think about life.
Being “positive” means looking for answers rather than looking for problems.
This means a desire to see change.
This means not judging other people and giving them your value judgments.
This means getting help.
This means forgiveness.
This means letting go of prejudice and judgment.
This means that you want to see the best in people and hope that they see the best in you.
This means that you do not force yourself into the “good person” format.
This means asking yourself how you can improve your life by just 1%, every day.
This means the desire to work and develop, despite your fears.
But above all, it means believing in your strengths and your potential.
That’s right: this means restoring your inner strengths that have been dormant within you for a long time. This means understanding that you can change something by constantly working on yourself.
Your choice to believe in positivity means being fully aware of the fact that you are the only one who can change your state of mind and make it the epicenter of your new and positive worldview. You don't need to force yourself and put on a fake smile - you just need to believe that the probability of good events is much higher than the probability of bad events.
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Understanding the Positive
What is positivity and why is it important? To do this, let's take two equally competent, smart, hardworking people, but one of them will be positive and the other negative. When a positive person goes to work, he is happy with the weather, grateful to other people for their help, and notices the employee’s individual contribution to the overall result. A negative person will constantly complain about how busy they are at work, the traffic jams, and how stupid their bosses' decisions are.
A positive person always sees the glass as half full, while a negative person always sees it as half empty. An optimist has an affirmative bias, meaning he wants to focus on human potential and strengths. A pessimist decides to focus on problems and weaknesses.
You might think that a pessimist sees reality, that he is quick to spot potential threats or problems that an optimist misses. Here's something to make clear: having a positive attitude in the workplace doesn't mean you bury your head in the sand or ignore unpleasant realities or problems, it's just that when you see a problem, you go into solution mode rather than despair. You are not such a soft person that you never give critical feedback to anyone, but you balance constructive criticism.
Positivity is a well-researched way to get better results in the workplace while enjoying life to the fullest. Kim Cameron, in her book Positive Leadership, cites more than 40 studies illustrating consistent and compelling evidence that positive actions like the ones you'll learn in this article do have health benefits. Positivity helps us be more creative.
Research from the University of California, Berkeley School of Business found that managers with greater positivity were more accurate decision-makers, were more effective in interpersonal communication, and spread positivity to their entire team. Athletes whose coaches asked them to review tapes of their successful games performed better themselves than athletes who were asked to review their unsuccessful attempts.
When we focus on successes rather than failures, our performance improves. Health, creativity, effective leadership, increased productivity, all these benefits come when we carefully work on our thoughts.
A positive person focuses on possibilities rather than limitations.
Some people look first at limitations when making plans for the future. If some obstacle arises, a person tries to remove this goal from the list of tasks. A positive person looks first of all at his own capabilities and only then makes a decision. He is absolutely not interested in why it is impossible or difficult to accomplish his plan. The main thing is to have the opportunity to try to do it.
Even if this method leads to failures, a positive person will not blame everyone around him, but will analyze why this happened and try not to make similar mistakes in the future.
Find your “I”
- It is difficult to remain positive in those moments when you have to get up at 7 am, go to a job you don’t like and do boring things. Look for yourself in everything, explore the world, be in harmony with your mind and heart.
- Sit down and think about where you see yourself in 5 years? Do you want to sit in your own office and deal with real estate? Get a job as a realtor in an agency, move up the career ladder, and learn the basics.
- Learn to defend your own opinion, do not agree with people if you do not agree with their opinion. Don't let others tell you what to do in a given situation. First of all, you must have principles, your own judgment and moral principles.
- Try not to expect more from your acquaintances than they can give you. Have you realized for a long time that your work colleague does not keep his promises? Stop dragging him into your life, leave the person alone.
- Spend time only with those who value you. Don't be intrusive, be an open and friendly opponent. Don’t be shy to smile at the driver on the bus or the saleswoman in the store, spread goodness.
- Be yourself, no matter the circumstances. Look for “your” person in everything: love, friendship, work. Don't wear masks, put your needs first when circumstances require it.
How is a positive person different from others?
Each person develops a certain model of behavior and attitude towards life, which he constantly adheres to. Often people easily take offense at others, harbor grievances, and hatch plans for revenge. A negatively-minded person does not share existing information with others and does not try to somehow change the world around him. Most people are afraid of change because they think that any change is associated with trouble.
The range of interests of shallow people, fixated on troubles, is narrow. They get information from the tabloid press or television, and have few hobbies. They do not strive for self-development and try with all their might to maintain their peace.
A person is often not ready to take responsibility for how his life turned out. He believes that if circumstances had been different, he would have been able to get more. And this is one of the main differences in the psychology of a positively-minded individual and that which is inherent in other people.
A cheerful person understands that happiness in his life depends on himself. He knows that on the way to it he will make many mistakes, and is ready to answer for them. Positive people respect the points of view of others and are careful about their feelings. They know how to sincerely rejoice at another person’s success and give compliments. Such people do not have the desire to lie or embellish something.
An energetic, cheerful person reads a lot and is interested in what is happening around him. He has many hobbies and a wide circle of friends. Cheerful people always learn because they like to develop and constantly learn something new. They are not afraid to take initiative, they are not afraid of criticism, because they are confident in themselves and are always ready to conduct a constructive dialogue.
Changes for optimists are an important aspect in life, since they see in them an opportunity to change their lives for the better, develop some new qualities or improve existing ones.
Meaning of the word
It must be said that in each category of sciences the word “positive” has almost the same meaning.
- Philosophy. Positive – affirmative, positive. That is, the one that is available is the actual one.
- Policy. Also denotes something positive that was based on previously acquired experience.
- Psychology, psychoanalysis. Positive is good. The antonym of the word is “negative”, that is, bad. They are often used inseparably from the terms “love” and “hate” in this block of sciences.
There are many more different designations. Generally speaking, for the term “positive” the meaning of the word comes down to positivity, something that comes with a “+” sign.
How to become a positive and cheerful person?
Changing existing patterns of behavior and attitudes towards life is difficult, but always possible. To become a positive and joyful person, you need to learn to identify negative traits and change them to positive ones. This is not an easy, labor-intensive job that requires willpower and a great desire to become different. But if you regularly follow some tips specially developed by psychologists, you will be able to achieve changes faster.
Positive people don't wait for a good day - they create it themselves.
The hope that life will provide an opportunity to change something or that an opportunity will present itself is often not justified. A person lives in anticipation of change or good luck. Positive people do not wait for some opportunity to present themselves, they create and find these opportunities themselves. To do this, they constantly work on themselves, expanding the range of their capabilities.
They do not wait for some favorable moment, but try to implement their ideas and plans immediately. In difficult times, optimists do not give in to despair, do not plunge into suffering and do not wait for loved ones to come to their aid. They analyze the situation and immediately begin to look for a way out of it. A positive-minded person always remembers that he himself is the architect of his own happiness. He is not burdened by this approach to life; on the contrary, his own energy, resilience and strength give him self-confidence.
Positive people easily part with things they don't have
Most people do not know how to part with old ideas and objects. For them, a big problem is ending a relationship, changing their lifestyle, moving, etc. They keep old things for a long time because they think that they might be useful to them someday. They do not allow themselves to leave an activity that is boring to them and has become uninteresting, because they have already become accustomed to it. It is difficult for them to break off contacts with friends, even if communication with them no longer brings satisfaction.
The old takes a lot of strength and weakens people at the energy level. It deprives a person of opportunities for self-development and does not allow him to move on. A person with a positive outlook on life does not dwell on failures and mistakes of the past. He is not trying to save a relationship that has long since exhausted itself. He can change jobs, part with incorrect attitudes and objects that have become old or are no longer needed.
To maintain positivity in the house, to allow positive energy to function freely, you need to throw away unnecessary things and clean regularly.
The past must remain in the past
Often, reliving the past takes up a lot of people's time. Constant analysis of what happened, experiencing old emotions, long internal dialogues take a lot of vitality and energy from a person. In addition, he cannot objectively assess the current situation. Even experiencing positive emotions has a negative impact on a person’s psychological state.
You should return to the past when you need to analyze your mistakes. However, instead, the person begins to blame or feel sorry for himself, worry about what has not come true, etc.
Nostalgia has a strong negative impact on the human psyche. It makes him vulnerable, weakens his faith in himself and in the possibility of change, so it is necessary to avoid this feeling.
Gratitude is the middle name of a positive person
A person with a positive attitude towards life does not focus on troubles or failures. Any situation evokes sincere gratitude from him, since it is a valuable lesson on the path of his development. This type of thinking involves a feeling of sincere gratitude for the fact that you can smell, taste, experience new impressions, feelings, etc. For positively minded people, the world seems like a large treasure trove that they have access to every day.
It should be remembered that the Universe works according to the laws of attraction. If you are grateful to her for everything she gives, she is more likely to give you new opportunities, point you in the right direction, and bring abundance into the existence of a grateful person. Even if life is full of adversity, there is still something in it that can bring joy to a person.
Positive people focus on their capabilities, not their limitations.
Optimistic people are well aware of their strengths and weaknesses. However, they are not stopped by any restrictions. If to achieve a goal it is necessary to overcome themselves or develop some quality, ability or skill, they will try their best to do it. A person with a positive attitude looks for solutions, opportunities, and does not get hung up on the fact that it is impossible to get what he wants due to some external circumstances or lack of skill.
If the attempt fails, this will not be a reason to stop working. An optimist will look for new ways and solutions.
Positive people don't let their fears affect their lives.
You can become happy and cheerful only if you do not let fears and prejudices influence your life. Fear of the new, unknown for the majority of people is a great obstacle to self-development and achieving goals. A person is especially afraid that new events will bring changes for the worse; he will lose the benefits he already has. This forces him not to leave his comfort zone.
A person with a positive attitude also has a feeling of fear, but he does not allow it to take control of him. Will helps him cope with fear and continue doing what he needs to do. This does not mean that optimists ignore safety rules. They are cautious, but fear will not stop them if they have something important in mind.
Positive people smile a lot
This trait is common to all optimists. Their inner mood is transmitted to the people around them in the form of charges of positive energy and many smiles. A positive person always tries to maintain a good mood. Often he is helped in this by an innate or developed sense of humor and irony. The ability to see the positive sides in any situation will prevent despondency from developing.
Experts point out that a smile can quickly change a person’s state of mind. If he is in a bad mood, you just need to smile. Then the brain will receive the appropriate signal and begin to release the necessary hormones. This will have a beneficial effect on a person's mood.
Optimists also smile because they consciously want to share their positive energy with others and try to cheer up those who are going through a difficult period.
Sociability
A cheerful, optimistic person is sociable. He is not characterized by isolation or a craving for solitude. On the contrary, he will constantly strive to expand his social circle. To do this, he easily makes new acquaintances. It is important that during conversations, optimists do not discuss other people, do not gossip, and do not dwell on negative topics. They exchange information, listen to stories about other people's experiences, share their own, etc.
The circle of acquaintances of optimistic people is wide. They do not divide their environment into those who can benefit them or not. Any person will be interesting. People with a positive attitude to life have well-developed communication skills, they constantly improve them, so they easily manage to find a common language with a variety of representatives of society.
Positive people know what pain and unhappiness are
Even though some people develop an easygoing attitude towards life, this does not mean that they have not faced loss, pain, betrayal, trouble and other negative aspects of life. People with a positive type of thinking also have periods when they achieve little and experience doubts. But such periods are short-lived. Optimists find the strength to look at current circumstances differently and evaluate their capabilities.
The defining moment is attitude. Focusing only on negative aspects will plunge a person into negativity and make him suffer constantly. If he can shift his attention to the positive aspects of the situation, a way out of it will become possible.
It should be remembered that optimists do not try to demonstrate what difficulties they have had to endure. This approach is typical of many people who try in this way to raise their self-esteem and increase the significance of their own lives. A resilient person understands that negativity takes a lot of energy, so it should be avoided even in conversations.
Positive people take responsibility for their lives
You can become a positive and cheerful person only if you manage to get rid of the victim complex. Optimists do not complain about a bad boss, low salary, inattention from a loved one, indifference from friends, or a boring life. This approach exhausts a person, deprives him of joy and positive emotions.
A person with a positive attitude towards life understands that if he does not take any steps to achieve his well-being, no one will do them for him. If he doesn't like his boss, he will change him. If his friends stop inviting him to parties, he will find out why their attitude has changed and make the right decision.
Optimists firmly believe that all they can do is change the current situation in their lives. To do this, you need to change your line of behavior by working through the mistakes that led to trouble. It is important that a person with positive views will not blame himself for anything, he will not lose self-respect, and his self-esteem will not suffer. He knows how to value himself for his strong willpower and constant desire for self-development.
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Settings
Attitudes and beliefs can radically change your train of thought and completely transform your worldview. The following will help you think optimistically :
- I can handle everything. Expresses readiness to solve any hypothetical problem.
- I can be happy.
- I deserve the best. Helps fight low self-esteem.
- I believe that I will succeed. In contrast to the “I can handle everything” attitude, it is focused on motivation when managing projects. When a person goes towards a big ambitious goal.
- I can achieve what I want. Henry Ford said: “I want it, then it will happen.” The attitude is aimed at developing determination.
- Nothing happens in vain. Whatever action is performed, benefits will come from it. It may take time, but the effort spent will be rewarded.
- I make my own decisions and am responsible for their consequences. The feeling of freedom and independence is one of the most important things with positive thinking. The ability to follow one’s own interests and make choices based on true inner desires makes a person happy and gives self-confidence.
The main thing is to repeat these settings to yourself as often as possible. Especially during difficult stressful periods.
Why you can't suppress emotions
It is human nature to experience both positive and negative emotions, but such a clear division actually does not exist. All emotions must be expressed and experienced in one way or another, since if they are ignored they do not go away, but only become stronger.
In society today, a whole dictatorship of positive emotions has developed. Our motto: “Always be positive.” A person who has lost his job is told to stop getting upset over trifles. People who are diagnosed with health problems, even very serious ones, are told that they should focus all their efforts on maintaining a good mood.
Let’s break down all the disadvantages of such a strategy.
You are deceiving yourself
It is negative emotions that prevent you from engaging in self-deception. For example, if dealing with dissatisfied clients makes you irritated and angry, you will do everything possible to change your hated job to something that is more to your liking.
Negative emotions help you protect yourself from unpleasant people, activities, and situations. The main thing is to listen to yourself and your feelings.
You don't think critically
“Just look at it positively” is not the best thing to say to someone who is going through a difficult time. However, it’s even worse when a person’s problems are attributed to his shortcomings and weaknesses (low or lack of motivation, pessimistic outlook, etc.).
External circumstances and their influence have not been canceled. And instead of thinking about all the good things, in some situations you need to think about the reasons for the problem and methods for solving it.
When you are convinced that “everything is fine” or “it will definitely be fine after a while,” you do not try to fix everything right now and do not consider the possibility of worsening the situation.
You're not developing skills that will help you in life.
By staying positive and happy 24/7, you're missing out on opportunities to develop skills that will help you later. To put it bluntly, instead of learning to cope with bad times, you deny their existence or their impact on your life as a whole.
You are depriving yourself of the ability to experience emotions correctly.
Let's say there is a person in your environment who irritates you. Maybe his arrogance, or maybe his boasting or rudeness. In any case, when communicating with him, you may experience anger, disgust and other negative emotions.
You can express your emotion by hitting the person, being rude back, or making an unflattering remark. Or you can reduce communication with him to nothing, based on your inner feelings. This will solve two problems at once: you will get rid of negativity now and protect yourself from its influence in the future.
As you can see, negative emotions can be experienced in different ways. It is not necessary to do things that you might end up feeling ashamed of or that could have a detrimental effect on your reputation. But by ignoring negative emotions, you are unlikely to learn to control yourself and choose exactly the response option that will cause you the least problems.
You understand people around you less well
When you decide to always be positive and say goodbye to negativity completely, your relationships with others deteriorate sharply. By refusing negative emotions, you expect the same from your interlocutor.
It is extremely necessary for a person to be able to respond to negativity adequately. It is unlikely that any of your friends or loved ones will like your positive reaction to negative information. At best, this can be perceived as tomfoolery, and at worst, as a devaluation of their problems. In general, many friendships and family ties were destroyed because of this, so be careful.
Find something you like
- First of all, a cheerful person should feel happy. To do this, he needs to do what he loves, which will bring him pleasure. Get out of the “robot” state that lives according to the “work-home” principle.
- Do you prefer to create cute things with your own hands? Learn landscape design or enroll in a cutting and sewing school. Take a wood carving class, start beading or embroidery.
- To become a cheerful person, you can learn the art of photography. Through the lens you will see all the beauty of the world around you and the people who entrusted you with capturing their lives. Take photos of animals, landscapes, friends and family. Print out the pictures and hang them around your apartment.
- Physical activity is known to boost energy. Start playing sports. Buy a club card for the gym or start visiting the pool. Dance lessons are suitable for girls, mixed martial arts, kickboxing, karate, etc. are suitable for men.
- If you don't have the opportunity to spend time actively, read fiction at home. Get rid of the habit of spending hours on social networks. Instead, develop spiritually, learn a foreign language or psychology (history, pedagogy, law, and so on).
how to learn to enjoy life
