Human psychology: how to manage people, yourself, read books on manipulation online for free, how to learn to manipulate others

Since ancient times, man has knowledge with the help of which he manages to manipulate people, influencing their consciousness. With the help of special techniques, it is possible to control society and individual individuals. All methods are based on knowledge of psychology and provide a real opportunity to achieve the desired results.

Why is people management needed?

Trying to achieve specific goals, people have always looked for different ways to achieve them. In pursuit of knowledge, he noticed that it was possible to influence the psyche of other people, thereby manipulating them. As a result of this, interest in practical psychology arose. When the psychology of people is known, how to manage them also becomes clear.

By applying the learned techniques in practice, we managed to understand how to manipulate people. Psychology, books by famous writers and love for them began to grow. With the help of such knowledge, a person learned to competently manage not only one person, but also entire countries. The application of these skills has been found in all spheres of life and has already changed the fate of all mankind more than once.

Rosalynn Carter, a powerful woman, First Lady and wife of former President Jimmy Carter, once said, “A leader takes people where they want to go. A great leader leads people not where they want to go, but where they need to be.”

At this point in life, one can no longer do without practical skills in business and its organization. The success of modern management largely depends on the psychosocial competence of employees and especially in managing an organization. Knowledge and skills are the undoubted psychological basis for effective management. Building and motivating a team, resolving tensions and conflicts, accurately recognizing customer needs—all these activities require knowledge and psychological techniques. The answer to these needs is a management psychology program. The purpose of the study is to understand psychological knowledge and develop the ability to use this knowledge in practice.

Human psychology, how to manage people, also allows a person to develop and plan his career and life path, and to in-depth diagnose his personal predisposition. Through effective exercises and meditations, help those in need who need help. You can view it here.

Manipulative methods can be of a different nature and used for the good or against people. But, one way or another, they are extremely important.

Classification

There are many methods of influencing the psyche. They differ in complexity and duration of influence. The only quality that unites all methods is secrecy: a person should not understand that he is being manipulated. Methods of influence:

Suggestion. The manipulator “puts” the necessary thoughts into a person’s head, leading him to certain conclusions. Suggestion occurs through communication, “random” throwing of facts, unobtrusive discussion of a problematic topic.
Manipulation. A complex process of influence that requires a combination of several methods of influence. The leader becomes for his subordinates what they want him to be. It combines emotional pressure, offering benefits, and plays on the fear of missed opportunities. The choice of manipulation technique is individual. Influence affects both the crowd and the individual.
NLP. This technique allows you to program the object of influence. It is the most difficult, requiring deep knowledge of psychology. Manipulation techniques using NLP cannot be overcome. They are similar to hypnosis: the individual is not aware of the control of an outsider, he believes that he himself made the decision.

All methods are effective, but the degree of influence also depends on the abilities of the manipulator, the psyche of the person they are trying to control.

How to learn to manage people?

To learn how to manage people, you first need to be imbued with this desire. A strong desire can in itself direct or lead a person to relevant knowledge. You need to start by studying yourself, your inner “I”, your nature. Learn to manage yourself, as this activity requires a lot of emotional stress and mental investment.

The further goal is to establish contact with people around you, “hook” them using the emotional and psychological component, and earn trust. Study the literature on the topic of human psychology and people management, which outlines management methods and various manipulation techniques. Develop skills and apply all kinds of techniques in practice.

Why do influence methods fail to produce results?

Even experienced psychologists are not always able to choose a method of influencing a person. The reason for this may be:

Depleted personal resource. If the manipulator is tired, irritated, and cannot concentrate, he will not be able to maintain a leadership position. In such a situation, he himself may become an object of influence. It is better to reschedule the conversation, otherwise it may lead to irreparable results.
Psycho-emotional instability. If the target has mental illness, manipulation may backfire. Instead of calming down, a mentally unstable person will experience an attack of aggression. This must be taken into account when choosing a management technique. It is important to remember that a sociopath cannot be controlled because he himself has an innate ability to manipulate.
Lack of self-confidence. When a leader does not believe in himself, the target feels it too. Then the desire to subjugate will lead to the manipulator becoming more disappointed in his abilities.
Incorrectly selected method of influence. If the technique does not work, the exposure must be stopped.
The target is not defined. When a manager does not see the result and uses influence techniques just like that, they will be ineffective.

The main thing a manipulator should strive for is not to allow the objects of influence to understand what is happening. If a person notices that he is being used, the consequences can be dire.

Ways and methods of managing people

Various methods of manipulating people are used all over the world. Based on their beliefs and goals, direct or hidden methods of management are used. An effective method is hypnosis. In a state of hypnosis, a person is directly influenced, due to which his state, behavior and thoughts can be controlled. Specialists in this area are able to provide assistance to people who have psycho-emotional disorders. With such problems, it is recommended to contact psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin. The effect carried out returns people to a normal lifestyle even in extremely severe cases.

Basically, the psychology of people management is based on the physiological needs and emotions of a person. Depending on the situation, the following techniques can be distinguished, which are used by specialists:

Limited selection

In order to force a person to make a choice in his favor, it is necessary to limit his options.

The technique is to provide the interlocutor (for example) with two options in a favorable environment. Both of them should be beneficial and meet your requirements. A person by nature does not want to complicate his life and therefore often makes his choice from among the possible ones.

Representative view

The wealthier a person looks, the greater the interest in him.

An appearance that suggests high status in society causes other people to take him seriously. Also, various “gadgets” and corresponding behavior play a significant role.

Feeling of gratitude

To win another person's attention, give him a gift.

You can achieve the desired result or learn something important with the help of a pleasant service. A well-timed compliment or given gift can win over a person and reveal his benevolence and sincerity.

Chameleon effect

Repeat after the person and he will like you.

Carefully copying the behavior, facial expressions and conversational speech of your interlocutor can make an impression on him. The phenomenon has been studied in detail by psychologists, who have proven that this psychological technique occurs unconsciously and works in most cases.

Distracted attention

A positive answer can be obtained from a person by asking him a question in a certain situation.

A large crowd of people, a noisy place, a urgent situation - these are exactly the conditions that contribute to quick decision-making. By creating such situations, it is possible to achieve your goals.

Features of subordination

To understand how and what control methods to choose, you need to know the peculiarities of how the psyche works. The manipulator must:

Radiate positive energy. A friendly person causes a response - those around him are unconsciously drawn to him. The opinion of a positive person is perceived favorably, even if he expresses controversial things.
Don't show excitement. Even in a situation of heated dispute, one must remain calm. This will confuse the opponent and show the manipulator as a strong person. If a dispute has witnesses, they will remember who was in a more advantageous position.
Manage your time, be able to plan things. You cannot learn to influence other people if you cannot manage your own priorities. You need to get rid of meaningless activities.
Always make eye contact. When an individual hides his eyes, he is treated with suspicion. A leader always looks in the face and does not look away. If you feel uncomfortable looking into your eyes, you can look at the point between your eyebrows.
Don't be afraid to enter into conflict. Fear of conflict is a serious obstacle to learning management techniques. Conflict is a clash of interests. You need to learn to defend your opinion. Of course, this will displease your opponents, but you cannot adapt to them, otherwise you will not be able to influence the situation.
Develop strengths. You need to use and develop your advantages. If an individual tries to develop weaknesses, he wastes time on this that he could spend on strengthening strong skills. You need to upgrade the skills you already have - this will allow you to quickly increase your level of efficiency.
Make a positive first impression. Correcting a bad first impression is difficult and it is better to avoid it. In order for the object of manipulation to form positive associations, you need to prepare for the first meeting. Find out what he likes, choose a cafe with a suitable atmosphere. Give a small gift. It does not oblige you to anything, but will be a good sign of attention.

When confident behavior becomes habitual, you can move on to honing manipulation techniques.

How to manage yourself, people and life?

Skillful self-management is the most important aspect of life. Human psychology teaches how to manage oneself, how to improve self-control and self-control. The internal state determines the quality of life, controls our actions and influences the future fate of the individual. The ability to self-control and self-control makes it possible to clearly understand how to manage people whose psychology is closely interconnected with society as a whole.

Below are psychological techniques that will be useful in managing life, people and internal states.

What goes inside comes out. In order for harmony to always reign around you and your personality to attract people, you need to create a feeling of happiness within yourself.
Stay calm in any situation. Despite the situation, for example, in a heated argument, you must always maintain self-control and remain calm. This technique will calm almost any interlocutor and show you from a stronger side.
Do not be nervous. Stressful situations can throw a person off balance. To avoid this, you can simply use chewing gum. The chewing reflex can make the brain relax.
Quit undirected activities. Actions that create the illusion of relaxation must be removed from your life. For example, aimless spending time on the Internet or long walks in supermarkets (when there is no specific goal), etc.
Time management. Time management is the ability to set priorities and put less important and urgent things on the back burner.
Stay confident. Under any circumstances, even when tormented by doubts, you need to maintain a confident appearance. People unconsciously strive to be strong and confident.
Visual contact. Having asked a specific question to your interlocutor and received a partial answer to it, you need to establish visual contact with him, while maintaining a pause. This psychological technique will force him to reveal the full answer.
Competitive instinct. All sorts of negative factors need to be taken into account from a competitive perspective. By changing your perspective on these things, an interest will suddenly arise that will completely change your life for the better.
Business planning. When you start organizing your time, remember to plan only 60% of your time. It is better to leave the remaining 40% for unexpected actions that arise spontaneously and almost every day.
Demonstration of joy. To attract a person to you, show him how much you are glad to see him. Another time, you will be surprised at how much his interest in you has grown.
Tracking yourself. When planning your activities, consider your psychophysical state. Observe yourself when you are most focused and when you are more tired and distracted. Once you understand this, you will find out at what hours you are most effective and ready to solve the most complex problems.
Herd instinct. A person's behavior largely depends on how other people act, especially when he is not confident in himself.
Strengths. You need to take into account your strengths and weaknesses. You shouldn't run your whole life after what you can't achieve. It’s worth choosing what you do best. By developing your strengths, you can take what you couldn’t take before.
Whatever you name the ship, that’s how it will sail. The first impression is a strong one. To interest a person, you need to create ideal conditions for this. For example, set a date in an attractive place, from which only positive emotions emanate. Be sure that in the future the person will associate such a mood with your personality and strive for this.
Yesterday has passed, tomorrow has not yet come. Lack of self-confidence occurs when we begin to wander in the past or future. We find many unpleasant events in the past and, based on them, create possible future scenarios. At this time, what eludes us is the most important - acting here and now.

Psychology of manipulation

Manipulation of consciousness is a very subtle art, and to understand it, you need to know how a manipulator can act in most cases. The examples here are quite common. So, striving for his goals, he may begin to praise the person in order to achieve his favor. And having felt that he has achieved it, proceed to the main action - ask or somehow force him to do something for him. And it works - a person who has just heard a tirade addressed to him will, purely psychologically, be forced to fulfill the request so as not to seem rude or tactless.

But imagine that a person managed to realize that the manipulator’s speech was insincere, or simply felt that some requests would follow after it, and showed awareness and strength of character. Having caught this behavior, the manipulator will either stop trying to influence, or may enter into confrontation and even insult the one whom he originally wanted to manipulate.

There are other examples. Many manipulators intimidate people, which often works, because there are many who are unable to overcome fear and anxiety. In this case, the initiator of the manipulation controls the behavior of the person who is ready to sacrifice his interests so as not to aggravate the situation. But this is only the apparent “power” and “strength” of the manipulator.

Psychology often indicates that a person's desire to control others should be considered a reflection of his own weakness. By controlling the actions of others, the manipulator simply compensates for his own complexes, powerlessness, uncertainty, or even envy. But it is also very interesting that some people have no idea that they are manipulating someone. Every person has played such a role at least once in his life, albeit unconsciously. Therefore, you need to be more aware and try to objectively perceive your own actions and actions. Read our article “How to express your emotions and not become a manipulator” and thematic books, for example, the works of Henrik Fexeus. However, we will talk about books later, but for now we will not deviate from the topic.

Psychologists have identified several types of people who are potential victims of manipulation. There are five types in total:

The first type is people living an ordinary life, striving for safety and comfort, in whose thinking common sense and logic prevail. Such people are manipulated mainly at the level of needs.
The second type is people who live mainly in a state of stress, with predominant creative thinking, dreamy, vulnerable and sensitive, easily suggestible. These people are manipulated at the level of feelings and imagination.
The third type is rational people, who think logically, prefer facts and specifics and subject everything to analysis. People in this category are manipulated by influencing their sense of justice, conscience and morality, as well as their sense of self-worth.
The fourth type is people whose behavior is dictated by animal instincts, and who strive in their lives for the most part to eat, sleep and sex. It’s easy to manipulate such people – just by providing them with one of these pleasures.
The fifth type is people with psychological disorders whose behavior is influenced by hallucinations; people deprived of common sense and the ability to fully analyze what is happening. They are subjected to the most severe manipulation through intimidation or pain.

Manipulators with amazing accuracy (after just a little communication with a person) are able to determine the type of victim, and based on this data, they choose a method or technique for manipulating consciousness.

Books that teach manipulation

Psychology and manipulation of people are taught in special books. Some of them can be read online for free. But it’s best to choose a work from the list below, buy it in paper form and learn manipulation from the greats:

“Analysis of the Human Self and Mass Psychology”, Sigmund Freud

The book narrates and explains social phenomena in all areas of relationships. Relationships with relatives, colleagues at work/study/etc., with friends, with a man/woman. The topic of crowd behavior, its need for a leader, the leader himself and his talents is interestingly explored.

“The Art of Dominance”, Kholnov Sergey, Shlakhter Vadim

This book describes psychological techniques for managing people. A person who has carefully studied “The Art of Dominance” will take on a huge number of modern manipulation skills.

“The Art of Managing People”, Viktor Sheinov

The book outlines aspects of the psychology of managing people, technologies of influence (hidden methods of management, protective techniques against manipulation), rules for studying the interlocutor, his weaknesses and strengths. Methods of skillful negotiation, psychoanalysis of foreign opponents, and influence on business sectors are revealed. Creation, resolution and management of conflict situations.

“How to Read and Manipulate Other People’s Minds,” Henrik Fexeus

A book in which the author presents the reader with methods - how to read people’s thoughts and pull their “strings”. The material studied will reveal the secrets of what a person thinks and feels.

Maintain distance from subordinates

In order for the team to respect the leader, he does not have to be on friendly terms with the employees. The following methods work much better:

the ability of a leader to admit his mistakes. In this case, you should not look for those to blame; determine for yourself what went wrong and eliminate the consequences;
correct formulation of tasks, consistent actions of the boss, his ability to listen to the opinions of employees;
showing respect to subordinates.

You should not turn into the type of manager who is asked what mood he is in today before coming with a question of interest.

Keep your promises and don't waste your words. This will not only help you gain the trust of your team, but will also help you demand the same from your subordinates.

Traditional understanding of leadership

The traditional and perhaps most accurate understanding of leadership can be described in several functional directions.

Here are some main directions.

Management is leadership that sets an example and motivates staff to perform at a high level. And here we do not mean stimulation by threats, but fair and thoughtful leadership.
Leadership is working with structure, and the manager’s task is to create and maintain such a structure where everyone knows their role, area of work and goal. It is also the ability to make decisions that will most effectively move you toward success.
Leadership is a process of interaction between management and employees; it connects and closes the chain of rewards and goal achievement. Creating a team that can effectively interact both with each other and with superiors.
Leadership is the ability to develop people and delegate authority wisely.

Criticize correctly

Rules for leading a team: Freepick
Business coach Andrey Mozhzhanov reminds us of the importance for a manager of correct feedback and the ability to criticize constructively:

Speak from the “I-position”. Not “You are bad”, but “I don’t like the result of your work.”
Apply the “sandwich principle”: wrap what you want to change in two portions of what worked well: “The report was completed on time, but there was not enough data from the accounting department. It would be great if you added them today.”
Use the “hot stove principle”, that is, give the reaction immediately and in full - do not delay it or give it out in pieces. At the same time, talk only about a specific situation. There should be no exceptions for employees.

Quality feedback is meant to enrich, not degrade or destroy. A leader must provide valuable reflection to the other person so that he can change and become a better person.

Characteristics of a leader

Leadership is a complex activity that requires a large amount of knowledge and skills, in addition, it requires the manager to have certain qualities. Psychologists say that a good leader must be responsible. The ability to make decisions and the full extent of their consequences on oneself is extremely important for a leader.

Also, a professional manager must be competent in the area where he has to work. A leader must have a whole range of emotional and volitional qualities, for example, purposefulness, determination, discipline, and integrity. He must be passionate about his work and be able to “infect” his subordinates with this.

Important intellectual qualities of a leader are the ability to analyze and forecast, observation, logic, and the desire for knowledge.

THE GOLDEN RULE OF SETTING GOALS FOR EMPLOYEES

How to achieve effective team management?

The essence of effective team management comes down primarily to planning and proper task setting. If an employee misunderstood the task, it is not his fault. This means that the leader was unable to convey the message.

This is like a frequently encountered example in trainings. “Draw a dog!” No specifics. And the audience begins to draw: some a poodle, some a terrier, some a shepherd. And I had to draw another dog - @, which is used in emails.

Companies often work in fire mode: “Let’s run there!”, “No, not there, back!” That’s why it’s so common to see resistance to stress and the ability to multi-task as job competencies.

How to set tasks correctly for employees?

When setting a task, you need to keep track of the following points :

specificity - maximum clarity, absence of questions from the opponent;
written form of submission - what was said orally (and even in the last minutes of the working day, when the employee is mentally no longer here) is not always stored in memory, and it is not always easy to argue what exactly was assigned;
receiving feedback - you should make sure that the employee understood the task correctly;
setting a deadline - if the deadline for completing a task is not specified, you can hear: “You didn’t say when to do this!”, and tasks without a deadline are often lost;
setting control points in the process of performing a given task (it is important not to go too far: over-control can be harmful);
clarification of possible force majeure circumstances (untimely provision of information by other employees or departments to complete the assigned task, etc.);
assessment of the result of the task.

It is important to maintain subordination , not to devalue the heads of related departments and not to introduce an imbalance between colleagues. And, of course, planning...

I often hear from colleagues from other companies about the desire of senior management to implement hourly reporting to monitor performance. I was always against it - but then who will work and when? Workday photo - yes. Analysis of processes performed by an employee - yes. For the rest, planning will help.

In my practice, one of the companies had a similar problem. Developed a document on setting organizational goals and a monthly work plan form. The head of each structural unit provided information in accordance with the deadlines, and at the end of the month, it was taken into account what was done from it. A KPI system is linked to this reporting.

Everyone strives to work in systemic companies with streamlined processes. However, it often depends on the managers whether this consistency will be accepted by other members of the top team.

Planning processes and correctly setting tasks is the first step towards solving such strategic goals!

Image creation

When forming the personality of a leader, many aspects need to be taken into account. One of them is the image of a business person. Its main components include:

Health, the preservation of which many businessmen forget, but a sick person evokes only compassion or pity from those around him.
Appearance, as well as the ability to select high-quality and stylish clothes.
When considering what every leader should be like, one cannot fail to mention good manners. Neither teamwork nor negotiations can be done without them.
Ability to present information clearly and professionally.
The internal world also influences the effectiveness of management decisions. To achieve success, clear civic and moral positions are important, as well as the right attitude towards one’s place in the world.

Image is a combination of appearance, actions and manners. By emphasizing a respectful, correct attitude towards your interlocutor, you form a stable positive attitude towards yourself.

The personality of a leader is expressed in the ability to treat subordinates, neighbors, or even saleswomen as if they were his best business partners. At the same time, it is very important to permanently remove slang words and common expressions from your speech. If accidentally thrown out during a business conversation, such phrases can seriously damage a manager’s reputation and devalue other personal qualities.

Learn to say no

A leader must not only motivate and inspire, but also be able to refuse. This is important when dealing with manipulators who may be found among employees and partners.

Learn to say the word “no”. A categorical refusal that you are sure of should never be accompanied by explanations or, especially, justifications. Don't feel guilty about it. People feel the inner mood, and if you hesitate, you may be forced to comment and even persuaded.