Modest girl: what is it like, shy, modesty

“Modesty adorns a girl,” we have heard this statement since childhood. Yes, indeed, modesty can be a sweet expression of femininity. But this condition can also hide self-doubt, shame, discomfort and a desire to meet certain standards.

Our task is to determine the true reasons for our behavior, learn to hear ourselves and understand our desires. And then modesty will not be a limitation, but a woman’s inner freedom, her conscious choice.

From this article you will get answers to the following questions:

Modest woman: who is she?
Modesty and complexness: what's the difference?
Should a woman be modest?
When can modesty be harmful?
Do men like shy women?
How does modesty get in the way of relationships?

What is modesty really? What shades and reasons does it have? Watch our video:

Signs of modesty

Modesty is a quality more suitable for women and girls. More and more often there are ladies who are liberated and vulgar. Modesty is expressed in the following signs:

moderation in one's desires;
indifference to wealth, luxury, excesses;
lack of desire to show one's strengths;
sedateness in relationships with people;
following the limits of decency;
ability to carry on a conversation.

Shyness is often attached to the concept of modesty. But these definitions should not be confused. Shy girls are timid and indecisive, while modest girls are distinguished by good manners, restraint, and self-control.

Be interesting2

Most likely, a modest lady is interested in and well versed in music, architecture, art, and literature. Likes to discuss favorite topics and follow the progress of his interlocutor’s thoughts. And a man should provide her with such an interlocutor in his person. You need to test the waters, find out about her hobbies and start the conversation in the right direction. Let her feel in your atmosphere.

Give her the opportunity to talk, to express herself. And of course, you can’t lag behind and just listen. To attract her attention, it is not enough for a man to simply listen to her and periodically insert monosyllabic phrases and nods. The girl will wait to participate in the conversation. Therefore, a man should show genuine interest, conduct a full dialogue, and express his opinion.

You don't have to try to imitate her thoughts to show her complicity. On the contrary, it will be much more interesting for her to communicate with her opponent, listen to a different logic and, perhaps, engage in a simple argument. This way the man will show the girl his lively mind and the ability to use it, which she values very highly.

Appearance of a prude

A modest girl is not only distinguished by neatness and good manners, but also by style:

Strictness and restraint in clothing. Miniskirts, bare shoulders and open busts are not acceptable. Classic cut suits and closed blouses are appropriate. Skirts are plain, dull, below the knee. You need to dress with taste, emphasizing the advantages of your figure and posture.
Makeup is no frills, soft, natural.
Strict haircut or braided hair. Hair of natural color.
Modest and small earrings. No tattoos or piercings.
Manicure and pedicure in soft colors.

Modest girls only emphasize natural beauty. The absence of vulgarity in appearance, the ability to look after and care for oneself are the main criteria for modesty.

Need time 3

Don't rush things. A modest woman will not allow herself or a man to quickly become close. She needs time to look at him from all sides, weaken her protective walls and open up to him more. When walking together, she will not take his hand, and the man needs to be prepared for this. You should also not allow yourself sudden outbursts of passion, such as unexpectedly hugging her around the waist, spinning her around or kissing her.

Just not on first dates. She herself will give a sign when a man can begin to take more decisive actions - she will finally take his hand or one day leave a weightless kiss on his cheek. In the meantime, talk, walk, spend more time with her so that she gets used to his company and feels comfortable.

She will not openly flirt and demonstrate her attraction. The fact that she spends her time with him should already tell the man that she is not against their communication. But she will not be ready for closer interaction soon.

Therefore, a man should be patient. And don’t lose enthusiasm - show her your intelligence, but don’t brag about it. Talk about yourself, be interested in her life and hobbies. Over time, it will begin to “thaw.” The man just needs to wait.

Positive traits

Modesty is always expressed in respect for other people, in awareness of boundaries. A woman with this quality is always tactful and will never impose her thoughts and ideas. She respects the choices and opinions of others. Does not publicly display his achievements. She has the ability to listen and give advice discreetly. Vanity, the search for praise and recognition - this is not about her. Women's modesty does not allow them to brag about their talents and natural abilities.

The virtues of modesty:

open opportunities to analyze, learn from others' best qualities;
lack of pride, envy;
always have good relationships with others;
the ability to accumulate collected energy;
inner peace and vitality;
protection from envy and negative influence;
emphasizing kindness, femininity, tenderness, spiritual and external beauty;
maintaining chastity.

Modest girls are always feminine and very attractive. This quality helps them perceive the world more calmly and thereby attract the male sex. The ability to develop modesty will become significant and will help you become kinder and more gentle.

Modest girls are feminine and attractive

Pros and cons of being modest

Answering the main question - whether modesty adorns a girl, one thing can be said: depending on what kind of society she is among. She may be a black sheep in the world of show business, for example. But she will be indispensable in the place of a librarian. And many men love to marry modest young ladies, although they look with admiration at sexy ladies.

Another useful article: Why are women considered the weaker sex and is this correct?

Cons of a modest girl

Yes, many “gray mice” really face the same gray life. Especially if the mentality of the country requires the submission of women. But even if a girl lives in a free country, and her character is nevertheless very modest, then this is what you can expect from her:

She's impenetrable. A career requires great strength, opportunity and even arrogance. The humble simpleton does not have this. But not everyone can break walls with their foreheads. If you are in the same position, then in the article What is more important - career or family, there is a small test that will help you understand yourself.
She is uncommunicative. Modesty does not give her a chance to be a leader whom everyone around her listens to. She is rarely seen at a corporate party. If you can find her there, then somewhere there, at the end of the table - silent and in a gray blouse.
She's insecure. It takes a lot of effort to introduce her to a guy. She will find so many excuses, referring to her complexes, that it is easier to tie her to a chair so that the viewing takes place. And the groom will be embarrassed by her uncertainty.

You may also be interested in: What is flirting?

Reasons for the popularity of prudes

Modest ladies are always liked by men. They are undemanding, do not chase money and chic, and do not participate in competitions to quickly seduce men. The reasons why guys like shy girls are obvious:

Mysteriousness. Such darlings are more silent, thereby pushing a man to look for some kind of mystery in them. Everyone wants to know more about the girl and solve this mystery.
Silence. Many men do not like talkative girls, and modesty does not mean chatting long and thoughtlessly. Guys like to be listened to and are embarrassed to speak.
Beauty. Modest ladies do not use bright cosmetics and do not dress pompously, therefore their beauty is more natural. Such girls always seem more tender and beautiful both in appearance and in internal qualities.
The secret of understanding. Active, emotional girls are like an open book. It is easy for a man to see their attitude towards him. Modest individuals are calm; it is difficult to understand from their facial expressions what impression the interlocutor makes on them.
Control. Men love to be in control in relationships. If a girl is very modest, she allows this, thereby attracting the attention of men.
Protection. Men love to feel like a protector. With modest women, they behave more confidently and decisively, thereby increasing their self-esteem.

Discreet and slightly shy girls attract men. Equally well-mannered, decent and intelligent men are drawn to them.

Do men like shy women?

There is a stereotype that men like polite, obedient, reserved girls. Because they are selective about their surroundings, do not like to attract unnecessary attention to themselves, and do not give reasons for jealousy.

And supposedly such women are always content with little and do not look for an oligarch for a relationship.

After all, you’ve probably heard stories, and maybe there were examples among your friends, when a girl at school was a “gray mouse”, didn’t particularly stand out, didn’t strive to be the center of attention, and then got married successfully.

And it began: “Do you remember Ivanova from the parallel class? With stupid glasses? So imagine, she grabbed a rich husband for herself, and also pretended to be a modest one!”

Believe me, she wasn’t pretending to be anyone, there was just a man who saw the beauty of her inner world and chose “his” woman - soft, loving, real.

But let's be honest: not every man chooses a modest woman as his life partner. Much depends on what kind of family system a man grew up in, what values were instilled in him, what the first woman in his life - his mother - was like.

To love and be loved, you do not need to play the role of a “positive character” or forcefully instill in yourself some character traits. It is much more important to reveal the talents and qualities given to you by nature. Turn to that side of your feminine nature that is suppressed by complexes, fears, negativity, but it is there and waiting in the wings.

Do you want to know what feminine qualities are most attractive to men? Sign up for our free online course: “Men: honest instructions for use. No drama or manipulation."

Excessive modesty

In society, a girl’s modesty will always be revered, but sometimes even such a bright quality can become a burden. There are times when it prevents one from opening up and becomes a kind of vice. Excessive modesty, which was instilled in a girl in childhood, can develop into stiffness and complexes. Not every area of life needs shy people. Sometimes consistency in clothes and manners leads to the fact that an outwardly attractive woman turns into a gray mouse, an intimidated person who is afraid to speak out and interpret her point of view. In everything there must be a limit and a boundary drawn.

Shy girls become good wives and housewives, but sometimes they become fixated only on this. A man wants to see in front of him a modest but confident woman who knows how to not be afraid to carry on a conversation and communicate with people. A lady with excessive modesty can’t even dream of career advancement. Although management loves pliable, silent employees, proactive people will always be more highly valued. Modest women know how to combine restraint and work and achieve results. Very shy people should not forget about their individuality.

The ostentatious modesty of the woman

The most dangerous type of women is a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” They look like righteous prudes, but inside they are treacherous bitches. This is what a girl with feigned modesty looks like:

He dresses strangely, like a monk. Buttoned at the throat, hem below the knee, faded colors. As usual, there is no hairstyle - a ponytail at the back of the head. The best option is sheep's curls around the face.
The voice is weak and slightly boring. When talking, facial expressions become literally pious: lips in a bow, eyebrows in a house, eyelashes slightly lowered, head slightly tilted. Minimum cosmetics.
In communication, she wins over people who are far from psychological analysis. Looks like the cutest little bell girl. It's scary to breathe on it - it will crumble from its fragility, like a dandelion.

But where is the “dog buried”? Yes in my heart. The main signs of deceit are contempt for everything that is either taboo or inaccessible to her:

She condemns any feasts with fun, considering it a vulgar drinking session with terrible harm to health.
Bright girls in mini-bikinis generally evoke righteous anger in her. Especially if nature itself has not endowed her with beauty.
She pretends that for her men, as a class, do not exist. She accepts their advances with feigned disdain and hostility.
She judges rich people if her standard of living is much lower than others. She believes that all the wealth was acquired dishonestly - it cannot be otherwise.

Such a woman can be found praying in church, and five minutes later on the bus, where she will scream at the top of her lungs at a fellow passenger who stepped on her foot. Her modesty flies off along with her mask. She loves gossip, knows how to envy and gloats about someone else's misfortune, without understanding the details of the incident.

They feel sorry for such a woman and take her side if she cries in public about her fate. Like, my husband is an alcoholic, there are seven children in shops, and I’m all such a shy person with a weak character. But in fact, in her sobs, she is looking for benefit, knowing that such an image of a modest simpleton is sad for others and evokes sympathy.

Yes, in some ways you can feel sorry for her: the one who was able to tear off her mask and saw her true appearance will never contact her again. She will not be invited to a fun feast and an interesting guy will not fawn over her. But even those who couldn’t figure it out stay away from this righteous prude. Hence the complexes and condemnation of surrounding people.

So, for such a lady, modesty is only an ostentatious shell, and it is clumsily covered up, and she most likely looks frighteningly repulsive. The article about bitchiness and grumpiness describes the behavior of a woman, which can be hidden under the “skin of a sheep.”

It will also be useful: How to tie a man to you forever

Relationship with a shy girl

Sometimes a man does not know how to behave with a modest, beautiful girl: what to talk about, what places to invite, etc. These people feel discomfort in certain places and when communicating with a certain category of people. If a guy has a modest, shy girlfriend, you need to remember this and support her in everything:

don't try to change it;
find a common topic for conversation;
stock up on time and patience;
choose cozy, uncrowded meeting places;
learn to keep your distance in everything;
give the girl more personal space;
reduce pressure and strength;
keep yourself in control.

With such girls it is easy, but at the same time very difficult. They surround themselves with a wall, but overcoming it may be easier than it seems. Modest girls love coziness and comfort in relationships. To get them, you need patience and restraint. Almost always, modest ones become wonderful wives, understanding, able to make concessions, listen, and sympathize.

Features of the perception of modesty today

Throughout human history, there has been a constant transformation of ideas about a woman’s place in society, her behavior, fashion, and communication. The modern world is no exception. It is characterized by a certain system of values associated with women. Modesty occupies an important place in it.

Most world religions consider modesty to be the leading virtue of a woman. This position is clearly visible in Christian and Muslim teachings. In secular society, modesty has also always been considered a positive feature of a woman. Modest girls have always been set as an example and stood out.

Despite all the transformations, eternal truths should not be ignored. One of them can be stated as follows: a person should have everything in moderation. This thesis can also be applied to character traits. Modesty is good, but only if it is not exaggerated.

How can a girl be modest?

To be modest, a young lady needs to act as follows:

You need to speak softly. A little quieter than usual. But at the same time, not too quiet. So that others don't have to listen. Speaking at a moderate volume level will have a positive effect on the girl. She will make others perceive her as very cute.
Adopt the behavior of an innocent girl. The most striking feature of lovely ladies is their purity. Advise the young girl not to be vulgar. And also do not talk about various intimate topics. This can ruin your cute girl image.
A young girl should not try to dominate the dialogue. This is the prerogative of other character types. If a girl always likes to be in charge, then maybe she shouldn't become nice. Because she is unlikely to succeed.
A young lady should blush periodically. To be guaranteed to become cute, a girl must learn to blush. If this happens during a conversation, then those around you are guaranteed to like it. Because red cheeks are very cute.

A girl needs to be friendly

If a girl wants to become cute, then she must be friendly. With everyone. Both with new acquaintances and with old ones.

If a girl shows friendliness towards others, this will have a positive effect on her. She will make it so that people will enjoy communicating with her. And they will want to get to know her.

Also, to show friendliness, a girl needs:

Show your interest in other people.
Listen carefully to those she is talking to.
Give various compliments to people. In order to lift their mood and self-esteem.

How can a girl look cute?

A girl needs to look cute

It's quite simple to form. The main thing is to work on your own image. We definitely recommend starting with the face. It is thanks to him that the girl will be able to demonstrate her own cuteness.

In particular, the young lady will have to often take care of herself. Wash your hair regularly. Wash your face with various cosmetics to prevent acne. And also use glitter. To give your face a healthy, fresh look.

Also, a teenage girl can use the following recommendations:

Apply a minimal amount of cosmetics. If a girl has light makeup, it will look natural. Which is the main attribute of all cute girls.
A young lady should also take care of her hair. Its task is to ensure that they have a soft structure. And also the most natural appearance. If possible, suggest that your daughter not straighten her hair at all. Let them look as natural as possible.
A girl can use blush. They must be applied to the cheeks in sufficient quantities. When a girl blushes, the color will be very rich. And her cheeks will look as cute as possible.

Recommend the young lady to use cute clothes

At the same time, you don’t need to go to the store and buy a huge amount of things. You can use things you already have. The main thing is to apply certain details. Thanks to them, the girl will be able to create an excellent image for herself. Which will allow others to think that she is cute.

To emphasize her cuteness with clothes, a girl can:

Wear clothes with pastel colors. In particular, you need to pay attention to light purple, as well as blue and pink shades. Also, thanks to this, the girl will be able to make her image more cute. And soft.
Do not wear pants. Instead, recommend that your lady love wear skirts and dresses. These clothes will look cuter on her.
Stop wearing heels. Especially tall ones. It is recommended to replace this type of shoe with clogs. Or sandals. Also, advise the young lady to give herself a pedicure. It should also be made in soft colors.
Use a cardigan. It can be worn over a traditional white T-shirt.
Wear comfortable clothes. The things a lady wears must be comfortable. And the girl likes it. In this case, she will look natural in things. And he will enjoy the process of interacting with cute bows.
Dress as modestly as possible. Under no circumstances should a young lady wear provocative clothing. Otherwise, it will create a negative image for the girl. And it will lead to the fact that the young lady will feel negatively.

A young girl needs to work on her body language

He also has to be as cute as possible. With the help of body language, a girl will be able to show how strong a person she is. The girl should behave calmly and measuredly. Also, lean slightly forward. Also, advise the young lady to use the following techniques to improve her body language:

She can transfer mass from one part of her body to another when standing.
During the sitting process, the young lady can place her hands on her lap.
She may occasionally touch her hair. Play with them.
She can make eye contact. Look others in the eyes. For as long as possible. If a girl makes eye contact with others, it will have a positive effect on her. Because those around her will be even more convinced of her cuteness.
She may lightly touch the person she is talking to. At the same time, you should not behave too aggressively towards your interlocutor. Touches should not be excessively sharp. Otherwise, it may cause confusion among the interlocutor.
When a young lady laughs, she must close her mouth slightly. Thanks to this, others will appreciate the girl’s personality. And also her subtle mental structure.

Quiet meetings 4

A modest girl prefers quiet places for meetings - cafes, parks, boat trips. Taking her to a crowded and noisy place is the wrong choice. She will immediately regret the meeting, and most of all she will want to return home and wrap herself in her favorite blanket. Moreover, she will think a thousand times before agreeing to another date.

In a noisy place, she will not be able to relax, she will close herself, build her impregnable wall again, and the evening will go downhill. A quiet place will allow the girl to open up. This is good for men too. He gets to know her better. She will appreciate the place of the date, which means he was attentive and guessed her preference. This is a big plus in the treasury of a man’s virtues. We will tell you in detail how to win a modest girl in the article at the link.

And don’t forget that the shy woman is a very romantic person. And she will like surprises and dates in a gentle romantic style. The main thing is not to overdo it and not cross the line when the abundance of candles turns a romantic dinner into a vulgar invitation to spend the night.

Your daughter needs to always behave as positively as possible.

A young lady should be positive in life

People around us adore those who are always positive. Because they charge with positive energy. They lift your spirits. And they make others enjoy the process of interacting with them.

To be positive, a lady needs to do the following:

Smile. This must be done sincerely. And also, you must always be satisfied with life. In this case, a positive mood will be transmitted to others. And people will enjoy communicating with the young lady.
Laugh. Do this as often as possible. And sincerely too. A girl should try to evaluate any joke and pun from her friends positively. So that they have fun during the storytelling process.
Have fun. Cute girls usually participate in various adventures. They try in every possible way to hang themselves. And show your friendliness. A young lady needs to adopt this quality. And try to pay enough attention to showing friendliness.

Daughter needs to show modesty

Moderate shyness is very important. Thanks to her, girls develop an image of being cute. It is especially convenient if the young lady is modest, but at the same time easily makes contact with others.

It is important to maintain balance. A shy girl does not mean silent. Unfortunately, if the young lady is taciturn, then she will not be able to create an image of cuteness. Closed people are not considered such. Therefore, the young girl also has to learn to communicate with other people.